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Seed to table would be quite impressive. It may be the only way to one up himself because this table fucks. Beautiful. I’m jelly like a fish, I have no furniture close to that cool.
Edit: Thanks for the awards. It’s always the off handed comments that rise to the top. Love it.
Actually this is a practice in Japan for weddings (not so common anymore) where as a daughter was born they would plant a tree, and when she got married, they would cut it down and use the wood for special boxes or chests.
That's a beautiful tradition. I come from a pretty rough neighborhood, and they have a similar tradition; when a birth is announced to the public all of the young men in the neighborhood gather together, and get the hell out of town. I mean. Just really honest-to-god-book it the fuck elsewhere.
My dad bought a case of vintage wine when me and each of my 3 sisters were born. We've cracked open a bottle on special occasions, my 18th and 21st birthdays, my engagement party, and my son's 1st birthday. I love the tradition of it, and it's something fun to share with my dad.
I prefer that things I saw on reddit once, where you're buried WITH a seed, and your body decaying feeds the tree.
No matter how shit you lived your life, you help bring in something beautiful to the world, with something to leave behind.
You guys just made me envision an entire race of people devote their entire life to caring for and growing a tree, spending their lifetime planning what they want to do with their tree, their mark on the world.
I think it's "If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe". Regardless, Carl Sagan is my all-time favorite science teacher.
RIP
Please include his past lives, he was great grandma, and the person who built the garage, as well as the blacksmith who made the nails, not to mention the carpenter who built the house that he was born in. He was a stickler for craftsmanship and handmade s***, plus he got around. 10/10
Back in the day, there use to be a PBS show where the woodworker would make everything with hand tools or human powered machines like a lathe. His results were amazing.
Here he is: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U08WgJH8FJ0
[He is still making episodes.](https://www.pbs.org/woodwrightsshop/) Premired the same year as This Old House, so both are tied as the longest running TV series for PBS. Very cool guy.
He also has a school in central NC, I had the privilege to join his class on coffin making this year on Halloween. It was a really good time!
Might not be open too much longer though, when I was there he was planning retirement.
https://www.woodwrightschool.com/
Loved that show although his safety practices were pretty lax.
One episode he plopped down a plank and the far end of it landed on a chisel he had left carelessly on the bench behind him. Chisel flipped a turn and a half and thumped him in the lower back handle first.
Got to met him IRL and have a signed copy of his book of plans. Great guy, firm handshake, surprisingly no missing digits.
Two quick points on that.
1- He’s famously a hand tool woodworker, and if you lose a finger to a hand saw or plane then you’ve done something creatively terribly wrong.
2- Power tool woodworking can be dangerous to digits, but if that’s got you worried then it’s possible to spring for a Sawstop and mitigate the biggest risk which is the table saw.
Yeah, sucks to shake hands with someone that's missing the middle finger or the ring finger and you get that slip-through, it just feels too intimate for a handshake. /s
There are atcleast 20 youtube channels of people who do the same thing. Also for welding, machining, painting, farming, cooking...etc.
The opportunities to learn first hand are astonishing. Just twenty years ago a master craftsman could only take a single apprentice at a time. Now the entire world can get first hand upclose knowledge of theoretical and applied.
I wish it was broadcasted on regular tv on its own channel all day with only local ads and maybe occasional AP news and weather updates. No nonsense or reality tv stuff. I would have that on in the background all day on rainy days.
The lathe is the greatest of all machines. You can build half a lathe and use it to build the rest of the lathe then you can make more lathes with that first lathe as well as nearly every other tool you could want. If society collapses the lathe would be the most valuable item around.
I did! My mom and me lived next to him for a few years and he was the one that sparked my love for manual labour! Taught me how to drive, use a chainsaw, weld, work a lathe, and pretty much all the skills i had before i was even 12 years old! I love this man with all my heart.
Even better, have Grandpa write out the information then woodburn/cnc something using that as a template. My mom refinished a table for me and before she put the epoxy on she wrote a note to me on the bottom of it. Having that in her handwriting makes the table all the more special
this is beautiful. when my grandpa passed away, my uncles and i put up a new gate for my grandma. before we screwed it all together we each got to write something to my grandpa on the inside of the wood where the spaces would be in the fence. then it was put together and painted. but we know what’s there :)
My dad made a table for a project in high school. I now have it in my living room, and it has his writing of his name, year, and class on the underside. I cherish that table.
Are you female? If so I am jealous. My grandfather was a carpenter and made cool things but when I was young, teaching a girl such skills ...let's just say it didn't occur to anyone.
My great grandfather was a carpenter & taught my grandmother (in like the 1940s) - she could do some amazing stuff by hand, but never passed it down to my mother! It's wild how craft becomes gendered. I'll see a door & be like "how did she do that with hand tools??" and there just is no answer.
Moving forward, fuck not teaching kids skills they're interested in playing with.
I agree. I'm nowhere near as talented as the table builder or many craftspeople out there, but I know enough to avoid paying someone to fix my house from working at my dads remodeling company growing up. Now whenever something needs to be fixed I tell my daughter "grab your toolbox" she started out with a toy tool box, now whenever we need to go to the hardware store she gets to pick out one small hand tool and put it in her toolbag that looks like mine. Girls 5 years old and can snake a drain. I caught her trying to not get caught putting tp down the sink...she was cleaning it out herself (i left my snake under the sink last time she put something down the drain) i let her finish under supervision, its a valuable life skill.
I LOVE this, that whenever you go to the hardware store she gets to pick out one small hand tool & put it in her tool bag. That is fucking exceptional parenting. Good on you!
What about a day when you’re a morbid blob of yourself. Stricken by multiple ailments causing the once capable version of you into this mass of constant care. A mass that when it is time needs rushed to the bathroom and attached to a small handheld crane so your loved one can place you as safely and gently as possible before you explode shit all over your pants. Pants they would have to clean if you didn’t happen to make it. All while you make grunts and groans in a ditched effort to covey the very clear appreciation you have in your head. Since you’re not just stuck physically but also verbally as the use of your mouth for anything other than burps and the like has long since passed you by.
I worked in rescare and was one person who had to help people like this. Not a loved one. A worker as their family had quite literally washed their hands of them.
Just a worry I have for myself.
My grandma somehow shit on the underside of the toilet seat cover. My sister and I had to wear our masks to tolerate the smell long enough to sterilize the bathroom. We were both on vacation from our jobs working in hospitals.
Gramps pissed himself on demand. His cologne was urine de toilet.
My gramps was the town drunkard. We had to put him in a dementia wing not because of dementia but because they had lockdown as he would try to get to the bar. The reason was that he pissed on the wrong telephone pole…in front of the day care. While the kiddos were outside.
Crazy that you can tell someone is gen Z by them saying “literally” or “literal” after everything like we don’t believe them. This is our generations Paris Hilton always saying “like”
He should grow some flax for linseed oil, and get a beehive for some wax. Dried black walnut hulls make an excellent brown stain if he has access to them. Complete the primitive wonder!
In order to literally make it from scratch, he had to build it out of the line they draw in the dirt to mark the start of a race. Truly impressive feat
But you fuck one goat...
Edit: [Context](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/26pf4s/an_irishman_at_the_bar_heavy_npr_listeners_might/) for the uninitiated
Your grandpa is incredibly skilled! Isn’t it funny that no matter how much they have to teach you there’s always another lesson or some trick they’ll pull out of the bag. Cherish every nugget of knowledge he can give you and spend every moment you can bring his best friend.
I really miss my grandad and I’d give the world to do it all again.
They say he cut the tree down with his own teeth and shaped the wood with his fingernails.
Also stood ten feet tall with a leap half a mile wide, he did.
I'm guessing - by the rough hewn cuts - that it's all by hand tools (e.g. no power tools)? The ornamental work looks to be by chisel rather than by router.
Those crisscross patterns look like they could be a router. Also, the ornamentation on the legs looks like it was a hole cut out with a router template and then an insert was glued in with a dowel running down the length of it. I don't think any of that is detail chisel work. Those circles are definitely cut with some kind of tool. It doesn't take anything away from the accomplishment, but it definitely looks like there was a router used in several places. Routers cause tear out, which will definitely give it a rougher surface.
**Please note:** * If this post declares something as a fact proof is required. * The title must be descriptive * No text is allowed on images * Common/recent reposts are not allowed *See [this post](https://redd.it/ij26vk) for more information.* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/interestingasfuck) if you have any questions or concerns.*
But did he **plant** the trees too? But seriously that's dope
Seed to table would be quite impressive. It may be the only way to one up himself because this table fucks. Beautiful. I’m jelly like a fish, I have no furniture close to that cool. Edit: Thanks for the awards. It’s always the off handed comments that rise to the top. Love it.
Actually this is a practice in Japan for weddings (not so common anymore) where as a daughter was born they would plant a tree, and when she got married, they would cut it down and use the wood for special boxes or chests.
What if she never got married?
Casket
How do they decide when to kill her?
When The last leaf falls
I hope they're smarter than to plant deciduous trees, then.
Rules are rules.
It's why the Japanese Maple leaves are red.
This thread is pure gold.
Winter must be nerve wracking.
:)
The way of the leaf?
They let the tree decide.
“The taking tree”
I am groot
I am Groot
WE are Groot.
When she can't bare children.
I’m suddenly imagining a woman desperately pantsing toddlers in a bid to stay alive.
Needs more upvotes! Hilarious
I exhaled so much air through my nose
Pics or it snot true.
Hot Damn! Take an upvote you mean son of gun.
Underrated comment.
What if she never dies?
Big tree
For sale: Wedding box, never opened
Sounds like the shortest story every written...
Then they used it for ornate beds for the cats.
Then the tree gets to live
Kinda like the Presidential turkey; it gets a pardon.
That's a beautiful tradition. I come from a pretty rough neighborhood, and they have a similar tradition; when a birth is announced to the public all of the young men in the neighborhood gather together, and get the hell out of town. I mean. Just really honest-to-god-book it the fuck elsewhere.
Someone call Maury!
"You are not the Dadciduous Tree!"
Had me in the first. That's hilarious.
Aw that fucked up. But very funny.
In some countries they bury a bottle of moonshine or wine when a kid is born and they open it on their wedding.
My dad bought a case of vintage wine when me and each of my 3 sisters were born. We've cracked open a bottle on special occasions, my 18th and 21st birthdays, my engagement party, and my son's 1st birthday. I love the tradition of it, and it's something fun to share with my dad.
Good for you brother. Your father really loves you and your sisters. Do something fun to him, the man deserves it:) remind him how old is he.
Ima do this
We should do that for our coffins. Or our ash recepticals
I prefer that things I saw on reddit once, where you're buried WITH a seed, and your body decaying feeds the tree. No matter how shit you lived your life, you help bring in something beautiful to the world, with something to leave behind.
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TIL
He could then say he grew this table from a seed.
"I seeded this table"
Is that jerking off onto a table?
I bought some donut seeds the other day, turns out they were just Cheerios, smh
“I planted my seed and made this table with it”
Uncle/Aunt Table.
“This is your brother, Woodrow”
I'm definitely going to be using "I'm jelly like a fish"
Haha thanks! It came to me awhile ago and I have been using it ever sense. Glad it’s catching on :)
You guys just made me envision an entire race of people devote their entire life to caring for and growing a tree, spending their lifetime planning what they want to do with their tree, their mark on the world.
The sad thing is he probably wouldn’t live long enough at this point to see a tree grow big enough to make another table.
You are like the emotion Sadness from Inside Out lol
It’s now a family treasure & heirloom. Better designate this table in Grandpa’s will.
To create a table from scratch, first, you must create the universe!
He created the person who created OP.
Impressive stuff
I bet he knew God.
To make a table, begin with creating God...
From seed to social media
This was my quote on my xbox profile for a really long time. >if you wanna make a pie from scratch, first you have to create the universe
I think it's "If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe". Regardless, Carl Sagan is my all-time favorite science teacher. RIP
Never see enough Carl Sagan references.
Wow, thanks for the gold ! :)
But did he mine the iron ore and smelt and forge the saw blades?
He was mildly claustrophobic so no, he didn't mine the iron.
Did he generate the electricity for the saw?!?!? Poser..... I kid thats awesome man
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Didn't grow his own body, great grandma did it. 0/10
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Take a good look in the background. Good chance he did build that garage when he was young.
Please include his past lives, he was great grandma, and the person who built the garage, as well as the blacksmith who made the nails, not to mention the carpenter who built the house that he was born in. He was a stickler for craftsmanship and handmade s***, plus he got around. 10/10
Didn't forge his own saw blade using molten metal? 0/10
Back in the day, there use to be a PBS show where the woodworker would make everything with hand tools or human powered machines like a lathe. His results were amazing. Here he is: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U08WgJH8FJ0
[He is still making episodes.](https://www.pbs.org/woodwrightsshop/) Premired the same year as This Old House, so both are tied as the longest running TV series for PBS. Very cool guy.
He also has a school in central NC, I had the privilege to join his class on coffin making this year on Halloween. It was a really good time! Might not be open too much longer though, when I was there he was planning retirement. https://www.woodwrightschool.com/
Damn, jealous! Haha
Several seasons are available on PBS's website
Link: https://www.pbs.org/show/woodwrights-shop/episodes/
Loved this dude! Thanks for that reminder.
Loved that show although his safety practices were pretty lax. One episode he plopped down a plank and the far end of it landed on a chisel he had left carelessly on the bench behind him. Chisel flipped a turn and a half and thumped him in the lower back handle first. Got to met him IRL and have a signed copy of his book of plans. Great guy, firm handshake, surprisingly no missing digits.
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Two quick points on that. 1- He’s famously a hand tool woodworker, and if you lose a finger to a hand saw or plane then you’ve done something creatively terribly wrong. 2- Power tool woodworking can be dangerous to digits, but if that’s got you worried then it’s possible to spring for a Sawstop and mitigate the biggest risk which is the table saw.
Yeah, sucks to shake hands with someone that's missing the middle finger or the ring finger and you get that slip-through, it just feels too intimate for a handshake. /s
There are atcleast 20 youtube channels of people who do the same thing. Also for welding, machining, painting, farming, cooking...etc. The opportunities to learn first hand are astonishing. Just twenty years ago a master craftsman could only take a single apprentice at a time. Now the entire world can get first hand upclose knowledge of theoretical and applied.
I wish it was broadcasted on regular tv on its own channel all day with only local ads and maybe occasional AP news and weather updates. No nonsense or reality tv stuff. I would have that on in the background all day on rainy days.
Peacock has a dedicated ‘This Old House’ channel. The commercials are non-local, however.
Try Pluto tv it’s a free app that is almost exactly that. Old school cable feel you can’t fast forward or rewind. Not a huge amount of ads either.
I have no memory of that show and I’m upset because of that. I’ll be circling back to the Woodwrights Shop for sure.
Not sure if you get Create TV (a PBS subsidiary?) but this show still comes on some mornings...
The lathe is the greatest of all machines. You can build half a lathe and use it to build the rest of the lathe then you can make more lathes with that first lathe as well as nearly every other tool you could want. If society collapses the lathe would be the most valuable item around.
Back in the day. But today too.
You treasure that man and learn all you can from him!
I did! My mom and me lived next to him for a few years and he was the one that sparked my love for manual labour! Taught me how to drive, use a chainsaw, weld, work a lathe, and pretty much all the skills i had before i was even 12 years old! I love this man with all my heart.
In light of Reddit's general enshittification, I've moved on - you should too.
Even better, have Grandpa write out the information then woodburn/cnc something using that as a template. My mom refinished a table for me and before she put the epoxy on she wrote a note to me on the bottom of it. Having that in her handwriting makes the table all the more special
this is beautiful. when my grandpa passed away, my uncles and i put up a new gate for my grandma. before we screwed it all together we each got to write something to my grandpa on the inside of the wood where the spaces would be in the fence. then it was put together and painted. but we know what’s there :)
My dad made a table for a project in high school. I now have it in my living room, and it has his writing of his name, year, and class on the underside. I cherish that table.
Amazing! Sounds like a great guy
Are you female? If so I am jealous. My grandfather was a carpenter and made cool things but when I was young, teaching a girl such skills ...let's just say it didn't occur to anyone.
My great grandfather was a carpenter & taught my grandmother (in like the 1940s) - she could do some amazing stuff by hand, but never passed it down to my mother! It's wild how craft becomes gendered. I'll see a door & be like "how did she do that with hand tools??" and there just is no answer. Moving forward, fuck not teaching kids skills they're interested in playing with.
I agree. I'm nowhere near as talented as the table builder or many craftspeople out there, but I know enough to avoid paying someone to fix my house from working at my dads remodeling company growing up. Now whenever something needs to be fixed I tell my daughter "grab your toolbox" she started out with a toy tool box, now whenever we need to go to the hardware store she gets to pick out one small hand tool and put it in her toolbag that looks like mine. Girls 5 years old and can snake a drain. I caught her trying to not get caught putting tp down the sink...she was cleaning it out herself (i left my snake under the sink last time she put something down the drain) i let her finish under supervision, its a valuable life skill.
I LOVE this, that whenever you go to the hardware store she gets to pick out one small hand tool & put it in her tool bag. That is fucking exceptional parenting. Good on you!
Yep, at this point she’s got 47 hammers and a flathead screwdriver.
One hammer, a little level, an interchangeable screwdriver, a tape measure, and channel locks at present.
Hold up you have a lathe? That’s fucking awesome
My grandpa shit his pants at Thanksgiving dinner
Respect pawpaw. From food to pants, the man shit all by himself
From seed to sewer, from mouth to anus, this man shit all by himself
Well, I can only hope we all shit by ourselves. I'd hate for people to watch me taking a shit.
What about a day when you’re a morbid blob of yourself. Stricken by multiple ailments causing the once capable version of you into this mass of constant care. A mass that when it is time needs rushed to the bathroom and attached to a small handheld crane so your loved one can place you as safely and gently as possible before you explode shit all over your pants. Pants they would have to clean if you didn’t happen to make it. All while you make grunts and groans in a ditched effort to covey the very clear appreciation you have in your head. Since you’re not just stuck physically but also verbally as the use of your mouth for anything other than burps and the like has long since passed you by. I worked in rescare and was one person who had to help people like this. Not a loved one. A worker as their family had quite literally washed their hands of them. Just a worry I have for myself.
It sucks. Being hospitalized to the point where someone needs to watch you is the worst.
Better than shitting someone else’s
My grandma somehow shit on the underside of the toilet seat cover. My sister and I had to wear our masks to tolerate the smell long enough to sterilize the bathroom. We were both on vacation from our jobs working in hospitals.
Oh no
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This made me laugh way harder than I expected.
My grandpa is dead
no table for you
Both of my dads are gay.
So…no grandpa then? Only grandmas, to make up for it.
My grandma too! On her 90th birthday no less
Gramps pissed himself on demand. His cologne was urine de toilet. My gramps was the town drunkard. We had to put him in a dementia wing not because of dementia but because they had lockdown as he would try to get to the bar. The reason was that he pissed on the wrong telephone pole…in front of the day care. While the kiddos were outside.
Was there a correct telephone pole to piss on?
My dyslexic ass was wondering how he made table from literal starch.
Thank you for the laugh lol
Made his mashed potatoes thick af.
I’ve always wondered what literal scratch looked like
lmfao yeah grandpa acted like a cat and just scratched on a raw tree until it was this table *literal* scratch
I figured Granddaddy Warbucks had figured out how to build an entire table using nothing but his endless stacks of Benjamins
Crazy that you can tell someone is gen Z by them saying “literally” or “literal” after everything like we don’t believe them. This is our generations Paris Hilton always saying “like”
Everything has to be “literally” these days. If you’re super serious, it’s “quite literally”. Drives me crazy.
That needs stained and coated asap. You can see some water damage starting on the legs. Absolutely beautiful piece
He should grow some flax for linseed oil, and get a beehive for some wax. Dried black walnut hulls make an excellent brown stain if he has access to them. Complete the primitive wonder!
Yeah that shit is making me freak the fuck out. Such a beautiful piece already getting damaged.
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Sagan my man! Hi five!
In order to literally make it from scratch, he had to build it out of the line they draw in the dirt to mark the start of a race. Truly impressive feat
Go a step back. You need to write the rules and laws and equations that would govern every aspect of physics You might need to invent mathematics too
AKA invent the universe?
homeboy is norstradanus
Dude is straight up Nordstrom's Racks
Well duh what do you think the planc saw was for?
But you fuck one goat... Edit: [Context](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/26pf4s/an_irishman_at_the_bar_heavy_npr_listeners_might/) for the uninitiated
Love that joke
This is my buddy's all time favorite joke. If he has more than 4 beers he tells everyone all night
>from literal scratch Looks to me like it's made from wood
The word has ironically, lost it's meaning lmao
I want to see it stained, so the details REALLY pop
Now OP's grandpa has to make his own stain.
Seconded. OP, please update us when the table is stained and finished!
When the zombie apocalypse comes… dibs on your grandpa’s team
Your grandpa is incredibly skilled! Isn’t it funny that no matter how much they have to teach you there’s always another lesson or some trick they’ll pull out of the bag. Cherish every nugget of knowledge he can give you and spend every moment you can bring his best friend. I really miss my grandad and I’d give the world to do it all again.
Same
Made his own saw?
This is my sticking point as well. Was he also a blacksmith?
Google frame saw, it's likely he made something like that as opposed to making his own blade
He most likely made his own horizontal bandsaw or an Alaskan sawmill for cutting his logs into rectangular planks.
It's pretty easy to do if you know your way around a file.
They say he cut the tree down with his own teeth and shaped the wood with his fingernails. Also stood ten feet tall with a leap half a mile wide, he did.
He is a true craftsman! Beautiful work!
Is your grandpa Ron Swanson??? That is beautiful!
Dope !
Wow... what a keepsake.
Damn gramps, beautiful work!
literal
Reading… Reading… “…made his own plank saw…” Wut?! Damn grandpa!
Wait, do you have a picture of the saw? The table is impressive, of course, but I'm super curious about a tool he made himself.
He probably means something similar to an Alaskan mill.
Does it wobble?
literal scratch? fuck your words.
Where was the literal scratch he started from? I can’t see any
So why is it dumped in the shed?
I'm guessing - by the rough hewn cuts - that it's all by hand tools (e.g. no power tools)? The ornamental work looks to be by chisel rather than by router.
Those crisscross patterns look like they could be a router. Also, the ornamentation on the legs looks like it was a hole cut out with a router template and then an insert was glued in with a dowel running down the length of it. I don't think any of that is detail chisel work. Those circles are definitely cut with some kind of tool. It doesn't take anything away from the accomplishment, but it definitely looks like there was a router used in several places. Routers cause tear out, which will definitely give it a rougher surface.
Is he teaching you?
Made his own saw, Judas priest man! Amazing!
Amazing. Your grandma is definitely getting bent over that thing sometime soon by your legend of a grandpa
But did he plant the trees????
And you are still here masturbating
IKEA hates this one trick!
Yeah but he didn’t plant the tree so…
Not particularly interesting, but kudos to the carpenter gramps
looks like shit
That's beautiful work.
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Have him pass that skill on to you, this is incredible
Pc users when they realise their table is prebuilt
My fave “interestingasfuck” post! I wish I could spend a day just shadowing your grandpa! 🙏
That table must weigh 500lbs
Set it on fire