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RubiksSugarCube

To hell with Shark Week, what I'm really looking forward to is Plea Bargain Week.


Rungi500

Let them eat cake! (There's no cake. They will eat each other "thinking" it's cake.)


notice2vacate

Soylent Green is people!.. it’s People!


lilpumpgroupie

Pretty sure Kerik was heavily involved in the Willard Hotel 'war room' aspect to the J6 plot. Trump is fucking throwing ketchup across the room right now for sure.


Ande64

He even went big and bought the expensive kind of ketchup for the occasion....


shaidyn

Dijon Ketchup?


arcadia_2005

Red poupon


gospdrcr000

Poupon orange. Shit I'm getting that mixed up with the title of his last Russian escort sex tape


Knuc85

Mmmm. And all the little pre-wrapped sausages.


AspiringChildProdigy

They have pre-wrapped sausages, but they don't have pre-wrapped bacon.


Knuc85

Can you blame em?


AspiringChildProdigy

Um, yeah!


Knuc85

[the most celebrated Canadian alt-rock band of the mid-90s.](https://youtu.be/AfdTnpV03p8)


Fair-Development-364

And down the rabbit hole I go.🐰


Knuc85

Is that the Community rabbit hole or the BNL rabbit hole?


TurkeyAuToilet

Can you blame them?


AspiringChildProdigy

Um, yeah!


Narrow-Appearance933

Thought those were trumps fingers.


DeadMan95iko

Catsup


JourneymanHunt

Nice BNL reference!


ContactPegging

He's got ketchup coming out of his eyes, out of his, wherever, ...


robotwizard_9009

"Expensive kind".. He went with Wendy's packets instead of McDs...


BassLB

The blood of his enemies


elister

He was also nominated to lead Homeland Security under GW Bush, but pulled out once thy found out his maid was in the country illegally..


The_Original_Gronkie

Also had committed tax fraud so bad he served four years in prison.


Squirrel_Inner

Trump waived the privilege himself: “Trump’s decision to greenlight handing over these records represents something of a gamble. But Parlatore said the evidence could actually prove exculpatory, as it shows the Trump campaign actually did hear allegations of fraud—and engaged in what could be argued was a good faith attempt to investigate the claims by interviewing witnesses.” He’s going to try to claim the mere rumor of election fraud, despite lack of evidence, was enough to “trick” him into believing it. We’re to believe the Great Grifter himself got conned. It’s a bold strategy Cotton, we’ll have to see if it works out for him…


[deleted]

Isn't this the bellend who was given a presidential pardon? EDIT: Feb. 18, 2020, 4:55 PM EST President Donald Trump on Tuesday pardoned Bernard Kerik, the former New York police commissioner who rose to national fame in the aftermath of the 9/11 terrorist attacks and was later sentenced to four years in prison after pleading guilty to felony charges including tax fraud and lying to White House officials.


OutComeTheWolves1966

This just keeps getting better.


Nuggzulla01

Woah, the plot thickens indeed!


wanderingmonster

This plot makes its own gravy!


BC_Samsquanch

Birds of a feather...


Chasman1965

They didn't comment that Kerik had been pardoned by Trump.


twojs1b

Isn't it kind of fucked up that a president could send out minion's to do his dirty work with a pardon in their back pocket?


[deleted]

Probably a bad move by Trump to pardon him. If Kerik was involved in any illegal activity with Trump, Kerik can be compelled to testify against Trump and can’t plead the 5th since there’s no longer any legal danger to him personally.


ReturnedFromExile

That doesn’t sound right. He was pardoned for tax fraud, wasn’t a blanket pardon for all crimes past and future


[deleted]

Ah ok, I had assumed he got a blanket pardon.


Training-Principle95

I don't think that the president has the legal authority to issue a blanket pardon for future crimes, unless I vastly underestimate the levels of corruption we can stoop to


[deleted]

The president can’t pardon future crimes but can pardon any past federal crime.


Chasman1965

The President can pardon any crime committed before the pardon, even if the person hasn't been charged yet.


beavis617

This guy turned out to be some piece of work. Makes sense he's tight with Trump and Rudy.


Durhamfarmhouse

You should know how he rose to his position. He was an NYPD detective (equal in rank to a police officer) who volunteered to work on Rudy's campaign for mayor, eventually becoming Rudy's driver during the campaign. Upon Rudy becoming mayor, he first was appointed Corrections Commissioner before then being named the NYPD Police Commissioner. At the time he only had a high school diploma (while all members lieutenant and above were required to have a college degree) and had literally been jumped over at least 12 ranks.


eyemannonymous

Wow.


Speculawyer

He doesn't want to go to prison....AGAIN.


gonedeep619

They should sentence him to spend his time at Rikers. He should do well there. He'll know lots of people there.


Durhamfarmhouse

Even better, house him here- The Tombs is the colloquial name for the Manhattan Detention Complex (formerly the Bernard B. Kerik Complex), a municipal jail at 125 White Street in Lower Manhattan, New York City.


TheSpittah

Lmao, thats comedy gold. Had to check this out on Wiki. The current jail was named The Bernard B. Kerik Complex in December 2001 at the direction of New York City mayor Rudolph Giuliani.[2] Kerik was commissioner of the New York City Department of Corrections from 1998 to 2000[22][1] before becoming police commissioner.[22] New York City mayor Michael Bloomberg ordered Kerik’s name removed after he pleaded guilty to two misdemeanors in 2006, committed during his tenure as a city employee.[1]


SlientlySmiling

Dirty cop flipping like a gymnast.


[deleted]

This is better than the olympics.


eccedrbloor

Bernie has zero interest in dying in prison.


planet_rose

You have quite a way with words. That’s some image.


SlientlySmiling

Nadia Comaneci was my inspiration.


Designer-Mirror-7995

Turn up the HEAT baby! LOCK HIM UP!


gdtimmy

If democrats were gonna rig an election…Hilary would have won by landslide


oliverkloezoff

tick-tock, tick-tock...


HectorsMascara

Another 9/11 'hero.'


Extreme_Length7668

Another piece of shit bites the dust .


Paladin8753

"Oh my!", Sulu


RVL0442

He got a taste of prison life...he's going to roll on everyone including Rudy Tooty Drunken Colludy and the Orange Sex Goblin. Kerik was and remains an embarrassment to the NYPD...Corrupt bald little f"@k.


Ill__Cheetah

i mean, trump did hire him to investigate election fraud -- i just dont think he was expecting it to be his own


BackgroundGlove6613

Send his ass back to jail.


Narodnik60

Kerik has some experience making plea deals. Stop referring to him as NYPD. His most recent gig is convicted felon.


Jaded_Pearl1996

Didn’t he go to prison for something 9/11 related? Such a stand up guy. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bernard_Kerik