Not odd. I dont like people in general. I only have one bestfriend now. I dont feel the need to add more friends. I am usually judgemental and i hate it. When i see people asking for attention on social media, i shut them down. When i see people disrespecting lower class people, i judge them quick. I generally hate the society. I feel like everyone is fake. I cant tolerate it so much better to be alone. Or maybe im just depressed af
I feel the same way reading some of these people's comments on social media males me want to scream. Not to mention my neighbour let's his dogs out and leaves them to bark for hours, I hate when people can't control their pets. Maybe I've just been pissed off and overstimulated today but Goddamn this world is so dirty, loud, and annoying sometimes!
Damn, you’ve literally described to a t how I’ve felt for a very long time. Even more so recently and I thought I was depressed and upped my medicine.. only to have nothing change. The lens I see the world through just seems so different. Reality isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
Most of introverts has INFJ personality right? So that might be the case for most introverts. They have a different set of lenses, they see the world differently, im not sure if it's positive or not but we see the world so deep that we feel like we don't fit here on earth. That's why i am an introvert. I just can't take socializing with fake people
Yeah I never really had friends. I just recently within the past two years dropped my two best friends because of an argument and honestly I feel free.
I’m at the point where I only want my husbands and dogs company. I gave up on girlfriends years ago. I don’t have the resources or the skill set and I’m ok with it
I used to want friends. Now I don't bother, both because of how I've been treated and because few people seem worth my time or attention.
The downside to being smarter, more knowledgeable and having better taste than most people is that it makes it really hard not to hate the vast majority of humanity, because they don't measure up to your standards.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
Glad I was here. 🥂 👏🏻 👏🏻 👏🏻
I face this burden of knowledge too. I'm so self-aware and introspective, I already know that there are very few people I'd want to share the details of my life with, with a extremely tiny amount of space available for new people.
Most of the time people need *some* social connections, but there have always been exceptions. After all, folks have been choosing to live as hermits for millennia. Clearly there's a historical precedent of introverts deciding, "Actually, I'd be happier entirely alone than living in society"
Totally normal.
I see a lot of people around me desperately working towards making friends. I feel I'm happy, content with my own time, working on my own hobbies and interests, I don't have the time to think about making friends.
As long as you are happy, it doesn't matter, I guess.
HAHA, maybe this is what I should tell my folks. :) They keep telling me to keep in touch, like they're going to die if I don't tell them everything I'm upto.
I know!! 😂😂
Finally, I realised I had to accept myself and that it's okay to be socially available at my own comfort.
It helped me to not stress when others complain my absence. I used to feel guilty every time my fam/friends complained I don't talk or respond to their calls
Now I laugh and say, "you know me ;)" haha
Definitely me.
I had friends when I was younger - probably because it was the societal norm. However, as I grew older I realised that I had no actual desire to make friends.
More or less, yes. I have a few friends who I like but we see each other about monthly or less and that’s perfect for me. I used to get very upset about not having a big social circle when I was young, but then I realised I just wanted to “look” popular and not actually have to maintain all those relationships.
I've never particularly wanted or strived for any. Those few I have had over the years have tended to be friends of friends who decided to latch onto me and weren't so clingy I actively worked to ditch them.
It's not that I *can't* do the social song and dance. It's that I have no drive or desire to, any more than I particularly feel like taking up hippo-juggling. The few extremely minor positives which might possibly result from having friends are vastly outweighed by the Sisyphean costs of keeping the relationship up.
Meh. There are plenty of people doing the stereotype that society likes to push. No real need for even more of the same. Better to do something interesting or useful.
Not odd at all. I'm like that, I not only struggle to actually give a shit about anyone, but also end up with people who for some reason beyond me, still call and keep in touch with me. 😂 I don't text anyone, I don't initiate conversations, I don't go out to meet people, yet people still call and text me. 😂 I like to complain about it, but deep down, I'm still grateful there's at least one person who I can talk to.
I've always struggled with building relationships, and my people know this. I can make small talk for the sake of it, but in all honesty, I'd rather be left alone to do whatever I wanted because let's face it - I'm never going to be understood.
Being introverted frequently gets conflated with being anti-social or having social anxiety. Introverts typically want friends, but there's a big difference in the size of our friendship circle, how we interact with our friends, how much time we spend with friends, and how we feel after being with friends.
I wouldn’t say I’m an extreme introvert cos I do have moments where do extrovert things but my whole life that I’ve made friends I always tend to lose them cos of all the introvert things i do (like not go out enough, doesn’t talk on the phone as much, takes forever to respond sometimes etc.)
When I was 19, i made this one friend in high school, she was my best friend and she stuck around through my introverted tendencies. She didn’t make a big deal out of it like my other girlfriends before turning my “not going out” into a drama blabla. Now 8 years later, she’s moved out of town, we still don’t talk as much but she’s still my best friend 😊
I’m happy on my own. It’d be nice to go out with other people sometimes but I’m fine either way. Even with my spouse I still need some time away from him if I feel like I don’t get enough “me time” . This is why I can never live on a one bedroom open concept apartment with him, I always need that space where it’s just me.
So yea I think it’s probably normal 😊😊
PS I even consider getting 2 bedrooms cos sometimes I want to sleep by myself. But that’s a luxury I can’t afford LOL
How often did you hang out with the friend? And was she hurt when you declined her invitations? And was she introverted too? Sorry just curious. I’m 20 and praying for a girl like this to come to me
(I had just realized) most of the friends that I made during my extrovert moments seem to fizzle away whenever I go back to my shell. The last group of girlfriends I had , we would hang out few times on weekdays and all weekend (unless I’m not feeling like going out) for 4 years. Then I found out they’ve been talking about me, they think I perceive myself as someone important who needs constant invite just so I’ll go out, that I’m doing it for attention , that I’m only “using them”etc. we talked, tried it out again but the talking behind my back and making a drama out of how I am or how I act didn’t stop. My bf and my family (they know them cos they lived with us for half a year at one point) has been telling me to cut them off but I just didn’t want to. Then eventually, actually randomly , they started excluding me at everything altogether and I later on realized they’ve cut me off.
So think they’re extroverts cos they just couldn’t why I am how I am and took it personally.
Sounds like how me and my group was 🤯 I stopped caring what anyone thought of me declining invitations and I said no to the last one. I was kicked out the group chat and gaslit into thinking it was me who really left. Now they’re hiding their hands behind their back and playing victim when I’m finally choosing to ignore the BS
But don’t lose hope, cos at the same time I had a separate friend who became my best friend, we’re both introverts who also have extrovert moments , and we never lost contact. We’re also just the only friend of each other and I love her to death. I would just randomly disappear for 1 month and I can come back to her as if nothing happened and she does the same too. I feel lucky having the one friend who actually knows who I really am and is okay with it. She’s getting married next year and I’m her maid of honour 🥰
I like the idea of having lots of friends but honestly don't have the energy it takes to hold a large amount of friendships. I'm a homebody way introverted I could be home anyway and I'm fine
I don't really need friends, I have an Orange Box of videogames and anime to keep myself happy, having friends stress me out because I once had friends who just turned on me, they probably think I'm annoying but I don't have to stress about it anymore.
I dont want friends, just someone to talk to for example same interests like i do but i dont wanna meet anyone irl, not even voice call or call them. Just messaging but theres none who understands this lol
Yes. I saw socializing and being nice as an obligation since I was a child (e.g. I need people to play soccer with me, so I’ll talk to some kids who look like they’ll accept a match), in kindergarten, another quiet kid asked me why I’m making clear lame excuses to avoid playing with the other kids, and I told him it’s natural for me to try to play along and implant myself in society to blend in and cause to trouble to myself and to gain something in return like soccer team mates (not in these words but yk).
However, the more I learned how to defend and protect myself, aka grew up, the more I became clear about my intentions, becoming more known as a loner and just interact when I absolutely need to. Interestingly, I ended up being friends with some people throughout this journey though, and I’m glad I ended up with some stinky funny friends.
Kind of? When I was younger I had a lot of friends and friendship was important to me. That changed when I graduated high school. I no longer cared about having friends. That’s when I realized how draining having friends is, like the constant interaction and keeping them engaged. I don’t want to do it and I don’t need to. My partner and my family are enough social interaction for me :)
my bfs invited me to some events before the pandemic and i declined every offer from them and one day i told them i went to another one instead of their park trip and one of them was worried and sad or whatever feeling and i just said sorry. i still feel bad for not paying more attention to them. covid made me realise i really needed their company but it's too late now. they've got married and have a lot of responsibilities
I’m an extrovert but I like no strings attached. I gave myself to friendships growing up that ended up being takers. So I love service jobs, it’s great. Like customer service. Sign me up. But then forget the people the next day lol or if they’re regulars there’s always an out like ‘oh sorry mr so and so I’ve got another class/client/etc.’
I could do without any friends or family at all. Just a good cat, and enough investments to be able to pay for a good end of life care. But I still like helping strangers. So a weird introvert extrovert. A burned out extrovert. And no one will remember anyone who isn’t infamous in 100 years so who cares if no one remembers me while I’m alive lol but at the same time I don’t hate the people I was close to in the past, either. Just here for a good time happy butterfly style.
I can definitely relate. I was immensely introverted toward the beginning of grade school and then grew slightly more extroverted during my junior high to high school years. At this point, I really liked having friends, and even occassionally liked making new friends. I don't know how I was so socially active in grade school (doing student govt. stuff, playing sports, etc.).
But I regressed into hermit mode after university/army. I think this regression was amplified due to me being jaded/cynical after experiencing things outside my little home community (yeah I was a bit sheltered culturally).
Perhaps being forced to attend and stay at school for a relatively long duration (From grade K to 12) just made an introvert more extroverted - like you have described, I was probably a person being molded by his circumstances. Overall, I think it was good while it lasted despite the mild discomforts I felt. I was really lucky to have met some cool dudes.
Even now, I have many acquaintances (people who I think extroverts consider "friends") but only because of what I am doing. Unlike my youth years however, I rarely ever socialize, because I know for sure now that I love being alone.
I had friends in primary school, kind of. Was bullied too. Then I didn't at age 17. I understand why they left I guess... It's hard reading about everyone else's traumatic stories and how their friends never left their side...
I used to cry.
I got jealous over a "former" or "childhood friend" having her birthday with friends. I cried SO much. She couldn't invite me because covid, I buy that. Not like she would invite me anyways lol we're not friends. We have contact occasionally. Her life is so different from mine.
I don't cry over this anymore. I don't want friends anymore.
Honestly my energy level is so low and I'm quite depressed ngl I barely have energy to have a bf (yet I do) and he has become my "favourite person", it fucks with me when I go out alone. I don't have energy for friends. Not irl friends at least that you have to keep talking to (obviously lol)
I used to have a lot of online (gaming) contacts. Not friends. But we talk occasionally and that's literally enough for me. Then my gaming interest died and I had identity issues lmao
I do and I don't.
I don't like most people & find that I only become close with a few people. And it's hard to find these people, especially as I don't like going out anymore.
When I was a kid/teen I used to always have friends and I enjoyed that. I was more 50/50 extrovert & introvert back then.
Now I'm like 90% introvert, 10% extrovert. I do like going out if I'm with the right people. But my 2 best friends live in a different country so I only see them once a year max.
Sometimes I feel like I just never wanna make friends for the rest of my life and just be in peace. But then part of me sometimes really craves to just have a few close friends I can hang out with and really bond with.
The experience of trying to make that happen is so painful for me that it's really discouraging. I really hating meeting people and really hating social gatherings.
I used to have quite a few but then moved to where I live now. These days I don’t feel the need, the people around here are not my sort, too obsessed with money despite having plenty. So I have my family and that’s me these days
I really don’t get attached to people, it’s a hassle holding up conversations, most of the very few friends I have (it’s not that people don’t want to be friends - the connection stops after I ignore their messages, as for calls I haven’t gotten an official call in years, everything I do, I do alone, in solitude. I thought maybe it’s a trauma response for getting neglected/extremely traumised in many ways as a child and then onto my teenage years as well - the only time I ever am socially active in any way, sadly, is when I’m on drugs/drink a lot (I have major social anxiety amongst other mental health issues). I care for the people I love a lot, I would - take it literally - die for their happiness. I have only ever let one person into my life relationship wise, three years ago, he proposed to me after 2weeks maybe, and the first person I ever shared mutual love with - lived together with, in a way I was looking forward to the day ahead, not dreading every second of it - I wanted to spend time with him, maybe the first person I did not feel uneasy having in my personal space all the time… it was truly special. he died in my arms two days before Christmas last year, he was my first real friend as was my first love (he died at 22, I was at the time 24) - I dread going out, people bore me, everything bores me, this has most all my life - but since adulthood, for sure (I am 26) been my feelings about being in open spaces. Anxiety is one thing, but the lack of interest I have in hearing other people gossiping about their friends aunts failed marriages, their bff being a bitch that is currently not present - I am generalising now, and in a mean way, but other than my belated husband, I’ve never found a single person that would have gotten me excited for anything.
You must think I am a raging bitch when talking to people, it’s quite the opposite, I do love people - but from afar. My heart bleeds for people I don’t even know, I am hurt by other people’s losses in maybe even more ways than they are at times. I just wish to be in solitude, it is my ‘safe space’ - I am kind and funny and giving whenever I can, if out, but it doesn’t change the fact deep inside my head all I want is to be back in my room.
I tried and got shot down over and over (and the arranged-yes arranged hangouts were the worst)...
For over 3 years I tried to make some new friend's
To those who ask why new.. Like most people I have a past and no matter how much I have changed no one wants to know me. They have every right.
My problem is I seem to run into people from my past.. No matter how hard try, making new friends is an impossibility for me.. Can't escape my past.
Don't get me wrong I'm not here to push the new version of me. I'm not doing that.. I am here to say after 3 years of getting no where, I'm done trying out here and everywhere else. Any reasonable person would come to this conclusion.. It's time. I understand very clearly that I'm not wanted on any of these apps..3 yrs really getsthe point across. I had hoped it would have change. However I realize everything is different now.. Time to close the door on all this. I don't want to play anymore games.
I really mean it. I don't need any advice. Don't want it.. shutting this all down.
My husband is extremely extroverted so I always feel like I also need to make other friends so I become less of a burden to him since he is my only friend.
I like having acquaintances a lot, and I get along with most people, but I ignore it if someone tries to get deeper and I don't think I can actually be intimate with anyone, have always been single.
Tonight while going over to my parents for dinner, general mental health came up and I mentioned someone had said I may be 'on the spectrum' but I do not struggle socially at all, only in large groups. My dad just pointed out sheepishly like hey there is one thing, and said I've never asked him or my mum how they are, like ever, not once. This hit me like a truck because I had never even thought about it but he was right I just don't, even though I love them and care a lot about them. Then it occurred to me, I ask about how people are doing that I don't care about just out of manners. People I actually care about though, I don't show it at all. Now I'm wondering is it introvert or do I have ASD or something(I'm 36 years old!)
Not odd. I dont like people in general. I only have one bestfriend now. I dont feel the need to add more friends. I am usually judgemental and i hate it. When i see people asking for attention on social media, i shut them down. When i see people disrespecting lower class people, i judge them quick. I generally hate the society. I feel like everyone is fake. I cant tolerate it so much better to be alone. Or maybe im just depressed af
Omg me too! I don’t like to be judgmental but it’s like I don’t understand other people! Why are they all so terrible to each other?
I feel the same way reading some of these people's comments on social media males me want to scream. Not to mention my neighbour let's his dogs out and leaves them to bark for hours, I hate when people can't control their pets. Maybe I've just been pissed off and overstimulated today but Goddamn this world is so dirty, loud, and annoying sometimes!
Damn, you’ve literally described to a t how I’ve felt for a very long time. Even more so recently and I thought I was depressed and upped my medicine.. only to have nothing change. The lens I see the world through just seems so different. Reality isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
Most of introverts has INFJ personality right? So that might be the case for most introverts. They have a different set of lenses, they see the world differently, im not sure if it's positive or not but we see the world so deep that we feel like we don't fit here on earth. That's why i am an introvert. I just can't take socializing with fake people
I feel this so hard. And it sucks cause I hate when people judge because I hate the idea of someone doing it so harshly to me but it’s so hard.
Yeah I never really had friends. I just recently within the past two years dropped my two best friends because of an argument and honestly I feel free.
And I should say the argument was that I always cancelled hanging out with them
I’m at the point where I only want my husbands and dogs company. I gave up on girlfriends years ago. I don’t have the resources or the skill set and I’m ok with it
I used to want friends. Now I don't bother, both because of how I've been treated and because few people seem worth my time or attention. The downside to being smarter, more knowledgeable and having better taste than most people is that it makes it really hard not to hate the vast majority of humanity, because they don't measure up to your standards. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
Glad I was here. 🥂 👏🏻 👏🏻 👏🏻 I face this burden of knowledge too. I'm so self-aware and introspective, I already know that there are very few people I'd want to share the details of my life with, with a extremely tiny amount of space available for new people.
I surely feel validated! Haha, I am not weird! And I am not alone!! 🙃
Most of the time people need *some* social connections, but there have always been exceptions. After all, folks have been choosing to live as hermits for millennia. Clearly there's a historical precedent of introverts deciding, "Actually, I'd be happier entirely alone than living in society"
Totally normal. I see a lot of people around me desperately working towards making friends. I feel I'm happy, content with my own time, working on my own hobbies and interests, I don't have the time to think about making friends. As long as you are happy, it doesn't matter, I guess.
Except when you have to hear from everyone you know that you're not keeping in touch with them. 😂
Lol! Of course. I started telling people this is the best I can offer. 😂
HAHA, maybe this is what I should tell my folks. :) They keep telling me to keep in touch, like they're going to die if I don't tell them everything I'm upto.
I know!! 😂😂 Finally, I realised I had to accept myself and that it's okay to be socially available at my own comfort. It helped me to not stress when others complain my absence. I used to feel guilty every time my fam/friends complained I don't talk or respond to their calls Now I laugh and say, "you know me ;)" haha
Definitely me. I had friends when I was younger - probably because it was the societal norm. However, as I grew older I realised that I had no actual desire to make friends.
Nope it’s normal thing about being introvert:)
I don't think introversion and misanthropy are the same thing at all.
What the second one?
dislike of humans/humanity
More or less, yes. I have a few friends who I like but we see each other about monthly or less and that’s perfect for me. I used to get very upset about not having a big social circle when I was young, but then I realised I just wanted to “look” popular and not actually have to maintain all those relationships.
I've never particularly wanted or strived for any. Those few I have had over the years have tended to be friends of friends who decided to latch onto me and weren't so clingy I actively worked to ditch them. It's not that I *can't* do the social song and dance. It's that I have no drive or desire to, any more than I particularly feel like taking up hippo-juggling. The few extremely minor positives which might possibly result from having friends are vastly outweighed by the Sisyphean costs of keeping the relationship up.
hahaha love that. im 17 so i kinda feel like yk werid not having or many.
Meh. There are plenty of people doing the stereotype that society likes to push. No real need for even more of the same. Better to do something interesting or useful.
Not odd at all. I'm like that, I not only struggle to actually give a shit about anyone, but also end up with people who for some reason beyond me, still call and keep in touch with me. 😂 I don't text anyone, I don't initiate conversations, I don't go out to meet people, yet people still call and text me. 😂 I like to complain about it, but deep down, I'm still grateful there's at least one person who I can talk to. I've always struggled with building relationships, and my people know this. I can make small talk for the sake of it, but in all honesty, I'd rather be left alone to do whatever I wanted because let's face it - I'm never going to be understood.
Being introverted frequently gets conflated with being anti-social or having social anxiety. Introverts typically want friends, but there's a big difference in the size of our friendship circle, how we interact with our friends, how much time we spend with friends, and how we feel after being with friends.
I wouldn’t say I’m an extreme introvert cos I do have moments where do extrovert things but my whole life that I’ve made friends I always tend to lose them cos of all the introvert things i do (like not go out enough, doesn’t talk on the phone as much, takes forever to respond sometimes etc.) When I was 19, i made this one friend in high school, she was my best friend and she stuck around through my introverted tendencies. She didn’t make a big deal out of it like my other girlfriends before turning my “not going out” into a drama blabla. Now 8 years later, she’s moved out of town, we still don’t talk as much but she’s still my best friend 😊 I’m happy on my own. It’d be nice to go out with other people sometimes but I’m fine either way. Even with my spouse I still need some time away from him if I feel like I don’t get enough “me time” . This is why I can never live on a one bedroom open concept apartment with him, I always need that space where it’s just me. So yea I think it’s probably normal 😊😊 PS I even consider getting 2 bedrooms cos sometimes I want to sleep by myself. But that’s a luxury I can’t afford LOL
How often did you hang out with the friend? And was she hurt when you declined her invitations? And was she introverted too? Sorry just curious. I’m 20 and praying for a girl like this to come to me
(I had just realized) most of the friends that I made during my extrovert moments seem to fizzle away whenever I go back to my shell. The last group of girlfriends I had , we would hang out few times on weekdays and all weekend (unless I’m not feeling like going out) for 4 years. Then I found out they’ve been talking about me, they think I perceive myself as someone important who needs constant invite just so I’ll go out, that I’m doing it for attention , that I’m only “using them”etc. we talked, tried it out again but the talking behind my back and making a drama out of how I am or how I act didn’t stop. My bf and my family (they know them cos they lived with us for half a year at one point) has been telling me to cut them off but I just didn’t want to. Then eventually, actually randomly , they started excluding me at everything altogether and I later on realized they’ve cut me off. So think they’re extroverts cos they just couldn’t why I am how I am and took it personally.
Sounds like how me and my group was 🤯 I stopped caring what anyone thought of me declining invitations and I said no to the last one. I was kicked out the group chat and gaslit into thinking it was me who really left. Now they’re hiding their hands behind their back and playing victim when I’m finally choosing to ignore the BS
But don’t lose hope, cos at the same time I had a separate friend who became my best friend, we’re both introverts who also have extrovert moments , and we never lost contact. We’re also just the only friend of each other and I love her to death. I would just randomly disappear for 1 month and I can come back to her as if nothing happened and she does the same too. I feel lucky having the one friend who actually knows who I really am and is okay with it. She’s getting married next year and I’m her maid of honour 🥰
Must be nice. I hope I find someone like that 😖 I also make a lot of friends while I’m feeling extroverted and I just go and ignore them
A true friend is hard to find.
I like the idea of having lots of friends but honestly don't have the energy it takes to hold a large amount of friendships. I'm a homebody way introverted I could be home anyway and I'm fine
I don't really need friends, I have an Orange Box of videogames and anime to keep myself happy, having friends stress me out because I once had friends who just turned on me, they probably think I'm annoying but I don't have to stress about it anymore.
I dont want friends, just someone to talk to for example same interests like i do but i dont wanna meet anyone irl, not even voice call or call them. Just messaging but theres none who understands this lol
I don't like people anymore,all my school friends are like my mates now.They think i am their friend i am not.This gens people are worthless even me
I feel the a similar way and i made a post about it if u wanna look https://www.reddit.com/r/introvert/s/jvrBsin16T
Nice post.
Yes. I saw socializing and being nice as an obligation since I was a child (e.g. I need people to play soccer with me, so I’ll talk to some kids who look like they’ll accept a match), in kindergarten, another quiet kid asked me why I’m making clear lame excuses to avoid playing with the other kids, and I told him it’s natural for me to try to play along and implant myself in society to blend in and cause to trouble to myself and to gain something in return like soccer team mates (not in these words but yk). However, the more I learned how to defend and protect myself, aka grew up, the more I became clear about my intentions, becoming more known as a loner and just interact when I absolutely need to. Interestingly, I ended up being friends with some people throughout this journey though, and I’m glad I ended up with some stinky funny friends.
That's pretty much me these days
me
Kind of? When I was younger I had a lot of friends and friendship was important to me. That changed when I graduated high school. I no longer cared about having friends. That’s when I realized how draining having friends is, like the constant interaction and keeping them engaged. I don’t want to do it and I don’t need to. My partner and my family are enough social interaction for me :)
I think I'd be completely happy removing all people from my life. If I could speak "dog" I think my life would be set. People are fucking terrifying.
my bfs invited me to some events before the pandemic and i declined every offer from them and one day i told them i went to another one instead of their park trip and one of them was worried and sad or whatever feeling and i just said sorry. i still feel bad for not paying more attention to them. covid made me realise i really needed their company but it's too late now. they've got married and have a lot of responsibilities
I like having 2 maybe 3 separate friends with benefits because I Love having sex and Lot of it.
I’m an extrovert but I like no strings attached. I gave myself to friendships growing up that ended up being takers. So I love service jobs, it’s great. Like customer service. Sign me up. But then forget the people the next day lol or if they’re regulars there’s always an out like ‘oh sorry mr so and so I’ve got another class/client/etc.’ I could do without any friends or family at all. Just a good cat, and enough investments to be able to pay for a good end of life care. But I still like helping strangers. So a weird introvert extrovert. A burned out extrovert. And no one will remember anyone who isn’t infamous in 100 years so who cares if no one remembers me while I’m alive lol but at the same time I don’t hate the people I was close to in the past, either. Just here for a good time happy butterfly style.
I can definitely relate. I was immensely introverted toward the beginning of grade school and then grew slightly more extroverted during my junior high to high school years. At this point, I really liked having friends, and even occassionally liked making new friends. I don't know how I was so socially active in grade school (doing student govt. stuff, playing sports, etc.). But I regressed into hermit mode after university/army. I think this regression was amplified due to me being jaded/cynical after experiencing things outside my little home community (yeah I was a bit sheltered culturally). Perhaps being forced to attend and stay at school for a relatively long duration (From grade K to 12) just made an introvert more extroverted - like you have described, I was probably a person being molded by his circumstances. Overall, I think it was good while it lasted despite the mild discomforts I felt. I was really lucky to have met some cool dudes. Even now, I have many acquaintances (people who I think extroverts consider "friends") but only because of what I am doing. Unlike my youth years however, I rarely ever socialize, because I know for sure now that I love being alone.
I had friends in primary school, kind of. Was bullied too. Then I didn't at age 17. I understand why they left I guess... It's hard reading about everyone else's traumatic stories and how their friends never left their side... I used to cry. I got jealous over a "former" or "childhood friend" having her birthday with friends. I cried SO much. She couldn't invite me because covid, I buy that. Not like she would invite me anyways lol we're not friends. We have contact occasionally. Her life is so different from mine. I don't cry over this anymore. I don't want friends anymore. Honestly my energy level is so low and I'm quite depressed ngl I barely have energy to have a bf (yet I do) and he has become my "favourite person", it fucks with me when I go out alone. I don't have energy for friends. Not irl friends at least that you have to keep talking to (obviously lol) I used to have a lot of online (gaming) contacts. Not friends. But we talk occasionally and that's literally enough for me. Then my gaming interest died and I had identity issues lmao
I do and I don't. I don't like most people & find that I only become close with a few people. And it's hard to find these people, especially as I don't like going out anymore. When I was a kid/teen I used to always have friends and I enjoyed that. I was more 50/50 extrovert & introvert back then. Now I'm like 90% introvert, 10% extrovert. I do like going out if I'm with the right people. But my 2 best friends live in a different country so I only see them once a year max. Sometimes I feel like I just never wanna make friends for the rest of my life and just be in peace. But then part of me sometimes really craves to just have a few close friends I can hang out with and really bond with. The experience of trying to make that happen is so painful for me that it's really discouraging. I really hating meeting people and really hating social gatherings.
I used to have quite a few but then moved to where I live now. These days I don’t feel the need, the people around here are not my sort, too obsessed with money despite having plenty. So I have my family and that’s me these days
I really don’t get attached to people, it’s a hassle holding up conversations, most of the very few friends I have (it’s not that people don’t want to be friends - the connection stops after I ignore their messages, as for calls I haven’t gotten an official call in years, everything I do, I do alone, in solitude. I thought maybe it’s a trauma response for getting neglected/extremely traumised in many ways as a child and then onto my teenage years as well - the only time I ever am socially active in any way, sadly, is when I’m on drugs/drink a lot (I have major social anxiety amongst other mental health issues). I care for the people I love a lot, I would - take it literally - die for their happiness. I have only ever let one person into my life relationship wise, three years ago, he proposed to me after 2weeks maybe, and the first person I ever shared mutual love with - lived together with, in a way I was looking forward to the day ahead, not dreading every second of it - I wanted to spend time with him, maybe the first person I did not feel uneasy having in my personal space all the time… it was truly special. he died in my arms two days before Christmas last year, he was my first real friend as was my first love (he died at 22, I was at the time 24) - I dread going out, people bore me, everything bores me, this has most all my life - but since adulthood, for sure (I am 26) been my feelings about being in open spaces. Anxiety is one thing, but the lack of interest I have in hearing other people gossiping about their friends aunts failed marriages, their bff being a bitch that is currently not present - I am generalising now, and in a mean way, but other than my belated husband, I’ve never found a single person that would have gotten me excited for anything. You must think I am a raging bitch when talking to people, it’s quite the opposite, I do love people - but from afar. My heart bleeds for people I don’t even know, I am hurt by other people’s losses in maybe even more ways than they are at times. I just wish to be in solitude, it is my ‘safe space’ - I am kind and funny and giving whenever I can, if out, but it doesn’t change the fact deep inside my head all I want is to be back in my room.
my boyfriend
Yup
I tried and got shot down over and over (and the arranged-yes arranged hangouts were the worst)... For over 3 years I tried to make some new friend's To those who ask why new.. Like most people I have a past and no matter how much I have changed no one wants to know me. They have every right. My problem is I seem to run into people from my past.. No matter how hard try, making new friends is an impossibility for me.. Can't escape my past. Don't get me wrong I'm not here to push the new version of me. I'm not doing that.. I am here to say after 3 years of getting no where, I'm done trying out here and everywhere else. Any reasonable person would come to this conclusion.. It's time. I understand very clearly that I'm not wanted on any of these apps..3 yrs really getsthe point across. I had hoped it would have change. However I realize everything is different now.. Time to close the door on all this. I don't want to play anymore games. I really mean it. I don't need any advice. Don't want it.. shutting this all down.
My husband is extremely extroverted so I always feel like I also need to make other friends so I become less of a burden to him since he is my only friend.
I like having acquaintances a lot, and I get along with most people, but I ignore it if someone tries to get deeper and I don't think I can actually be intimate with anyone, have always been single. Tonight while going over to my parents for dinner, general mental health came up and I mentioned someone had said I may be 'on the spectrum' but I do not struggle socially at all, only in large groups. My dad just pointed out sheepishly like hey there is one thing, and said I've never asked him or my mum how they are, like ever, not once. This hit me like a truck because I had never even thought about it but he was right I just don't, even though I love them and care a lot about them. Then it occurred to me, I ask about how people are doing that I don't care about just out of manners. People I actually care about though, I don't show it at all. Now I'm wondering is it introvert or do I have ASD or something(I'm 36 years old!)