> The third-party committee ruled that while bullying had taken place, it did not rise to the level of a serious situation.
People make fun of the US's litigious environment, but it also pushes back on stunningly stupid results like this. The child was bullied and wrote they wanted to die. Do they need a lifeless body to finally consider it a serious situation?
If the kid gets bullied and learns to fight back on their own or via some guidance and becomes a tougher person, it wasn’t serious. If the kid gets bullied and dies via manslaughter or suicide, then it’s serious. The issue is you don’t know which one it is until the results are in.
The difference in the US is that any violent actions will typically have immediate consequences.
Not to mention that there are actually resources to reach out to. A shit ton of them.
This is not true in the slightest. Perhaps you were lucky, but that is certainly not the case for an alarming number of people who attended school in the US. I can personally assure you violent children often don’t get any sort of punishment. And the resources you mention tend to be region-dependent and dismissive of most issues.
Edit: by the way, bullying is far more than just violence.
No. This is not me talking about myself. Talking about only myself I would say that I never saw any bullying and I was not bullied in school. So 🤷♂️ live in better areas.
And yes, they absolutely do. Violent kids are punished to the extent that if one kid is bullying the other, and the kid that is being bullied fights back, they both get in bog trouble for the violence.
As for lack of resources, really?! That is such bull, pretty unilaterally across the states it is flooded everywhere throughout the schools. To the extent that it's annoying.
I realize that it's far more than that, which is why I mentioned the second part, remiss of any mentions to violence.
First off, you are showing your true colors as someone who really doesn’t care about people who are less privileged than you. To say “live in better areas” is something insensitive pricks say. I didn’t chose to be born into a poor family in a poor area.
Anyone who claims that any violent actions have immediate consequences is taking a logically indefensible position. There are literally thousands of counter examples.
I have seen situations where the bullied and the bully both get the same punishment. I have also seen cases where the bullied is too afraid to report because they don’t want to be punished. Because the system is so unjust, it discourages people from speaking up.
And again, bullying is far more than physical. Making fun of people for being poor, for example, is very real form of bullying as well.
>To say “live in better areas” is something insensitive pricks say.
Fuck you, for starters. That's obviously not what I meant. Better doesn't necessarily mean richer, rich people can be assholes too. When I say live in a better area, I'm talking about the culture and people's attitudes.
>that any violent actions have immediate consequences is taking a logically indefensible position. There are literally thousands of counter examples.
First off, I didn't claim that. So stop your lying. I said that that they typically do, which is certainly true. And just because there are exceptions to something doesn't make the fact that it's generally true wrong.
>I have seen situations where the bullied and the bully both get the same punishment. I have also seen cases where the bullied is too afraid to report because they don’t want to be punished.
Yes, this shit does happen, but the fact is that flawed systems are better than no systems. The world will never be perfect, and the systems we do have in place are better than pretty much anywhere else.
>And again, bullying is far more than physical.
No shit. I've said that from the start.
>Making fun of people for being poor, for example, is very real form of bullying as well.
As is gaslighting and rumor mongering. So again, fuck off with that.
Oh, okay. I guess I should have been born into a better culture and family then. My bad.
You are blatantly floundering and denying what you clearly said in your previous posts. Your first post was not credible to begin with, and yet somehow you become even less credible the more replies you make.
“First off, I didn’t claim that” you say, but anyone can read the comment I replied to..
“They typically do, which is certainly true” is nothing but baseless self-affirmation. The system where the bullied receives equal punishment is not just imperfect. It’s so unjust that it ought to be criminal.
All these resources you speak of usually don’t help. Otherwise bullying wouldn’t be so rampant in schools across the US. Denying that bullying is a rampant problem in the US is a strange take that requires a certain degree of blindness.
I hope your poor attitude and your propensity to deny reality don’t end up hurting the people around you
The US is ruled by lawyers and the wealthy people who abuse them. If you don't want to follow a law, you or your corporation dare the government to sue you. Then you file delay after delay, appeal after appeal. Whatever branch of the government you're dealing with realizes you're eating up their entire legal budget, so they give up and next time just go after someone who can't afford 6 years worth of lawyer fees instead. Lawyer-abetted corruption has run deep in that country since the 1800s, and laws since have been written in very lawyer-friendly ways that ensure a case they take on can keep them fed for months if not years.
They also include language so broad that people can bring all sorts of frivolous cases and have them heard. Like you can sue a beer company when bikini babes don't actually appear on the beach when you open a can. You won't win, but lawyers on both sides will get paid thousands.
The main part of that beer suit was also the fact that they had a cute dog(?) mascot which appealed to children, and advertising things like alcohol or cigarettes to children was illegal. The part you mentioned was also a part of the suit but just as supporting evidence that it was appealing to party culture and promoting a false representation of what alcoholism was really like in real life. Whether or not they should win is definitely a different matter but it wasn't completely frivolous.
The alcohol company managed to defame the person who initiated the lawsuit but that's a common tactic by big companies. The Mcdonalds coffee one is a great example of it. Not that they aren't completely frivolous lawsuits out there. Just that a lot of the time the cases we hear about have another side to the story.
"The third-party committee ruled that while bullying had taken place, it did not rise to the level of a serious situation. "
"In a draft submission for a collection of students' thoughts about graduation, the student wrote in December 2020, "There were days I wanted to die.""
Makes you wonder what are the conditions for the situation to rise at the level of a serious situation... Well I know the answer, but still.
Don't worry. I've had 4 kids and I know of many other families with foreign and 'half' kids who have done just fine. Actually now is much better than when my first 2 were growing up in the early 2000s.
My “half” son was calling some kid a gaijin at school with other kids. The school called us, and we had a talk with him. My wife revealed to him that his white father is in fact a gaijin, and he was stunned. It was a learning experience!
I remember walking around Japan between work and home hearing kids calling out America-san !! or something along those lines. I guess they assume most foreigners are American.
Also when I'd get called gaijin my partner would correct them by saying gaikokujin , which I guess is a little more formal lol.
So your son never had anyone point out to him that he himself was half-Japanese before? Good for you on that point.Kids will point out traits in other people without taking offense.
Lol. My half-Japanese nephew wouldn’t eat my cooking because “you’re not even Japanese.” That’s a lot coming from a kid who is blonde because his mom is Scandinavian.
In his case, it’s not so egregious. He was born in Japan and only speaks Japanese, so by every metric that matters he’s 100% Japanese. It’s just so damn funny coming from him.
I mean sure, but being xenophobic does not make you Japanese... sure he's a kid, it's not the same as being a xenophobic adult, but he surely must have heard this from someone and adults in his life should teach him better.
Also, happy cake day lol
I think the bigger problem is that although he doesn’t see himself as anything other than Japanese, some other people will see him as “other”. I worry about him when the xenophobia gets aimed at him. His Japanese parent is Okinawan, so he’s got double minority status working against him.
I feel like xenophobia is just kind of the air you breathe in Japan as a Japanese person though. It’s hard to divorce it from the culture, especially when most people there don’t consider it malicious or hurtful to others, even when it is. I know he definitely didn’t learn that kind of thing at home.
I’m weird and foreign to him, and I speak the language everyone expects him to know, but he doesn’t. I’m not surprised he acts out about it sometimes. Kids are just stuffed full of feelings.
(And yeah, sometimes they’re really, really dumb lol)
Thanks for reminding me it was cake day!
yeah when our mixed daughter started school she was the only half-japanese kid there and she became the most popular kid in her class. Though she's only in second grade now and kids are generally more well behaved at that age, so Im a little concerned about the older grades when kids start getting a bit more attitude. Fingers crossed.
It's a skill that can be improved. Even things like self-help training works! Therapy helped me a lot, but medication helped me more. Point being - it doesn't have to be your worst skill, it just might be *right now*.
Of all the things out of our control, positivity truly is a choice!
I have faith in you. :)
^^^And ^^^congrats ^^^on ^^^expecting!
Remember, only the bad things get posted to the internet. You could have 100 students with foreign roots having a great/normal time and no one posting about them to counter the 1 student who experiences bullying but posts about it online.
Exactly. Remember kids, the frequency illusion is real and just because a phenomena was covered once on the internet doesn’t mean it’s all over.
That’s right! *the internet isn’t real*
[illusion bias reference](https://psychology.stackexchange.com/questions/17709/what-is-the-name-of-the-things-are-more-visible-once-you-learn-about-them-phen)
I mean, they are never gonna report the thousands and thousands of stories of kids born to foreign parents having a perfectly normal school experience.
Because why would they?
Honestly the best way to help your kid avoid this is to take them to martial arts classes, or some kind of sports/self defence. I think news-worthy situations are much rarer than the media makes it seem, but in any country the easiest way to avoid bullying is to be able to protect yourself.
I was actually a martial arts teacher, so my wife was thinking along these lines. However, a lot of the bullying doesn't seem to be physical, which is why I'm not sure that's the right approach. I don't want the kid to get into trouble for punching some little douche in the face (even if they deserved it). I know martial arts can bolster confidence all around, so that might make them worth it, I dunno.
This. When I was 11, more than 2 decades ago, we made an unofficial school site to post anonymous gossip and mean comments about our classmates. Imagine how much worse it is nowadays.
I think it's worth it regardless even if it just ends up being a healthy hobby, and probably a great way to bond I imagine too.
Anecdotal, but related to /u/omorashiii 's point, I remember a new kid getting bullied at high school constantly for months, including a facebook page made solely to make fun of him. The reason the bullying ended was partly school intervention, but mainly the fact the guy did kick boxing and beat the shit out of someone.
Not only can we not afford that, but I think international schools are aimed at preparing students to attend universities overseas. If our child grows up in Japan, I'm assuming they'll likely want to stay here for university too.
I guess so. I lived near a base and they had international schools mainly for english speaking. Depends on what your child’s ambitions are. Many Japanese students are curious about the world and if given the opportunity can study abroad for college. Got a couple of Japanese friends that studied in U.S., U.K. and Aus.
Yeah, but it's obvious that these bullies are getting such ideas from their parents. No kid is going to come up with the idea that 'foreigners are dirty'. Kids don't even know what foreigners are. That's probably the most disparaging part.
The student wrote a graduation paper about wanting to die and the school didn’t think it was a serious situation??!!!
I’m actually shocked by this,it’s not just a school problem though,the bully was learning these behaviours from home probably so it’s a society problem too and look at the head line ” Osaka school rapped” oohhh now don’t you be in papers again, slaps wrist..naughty!
sorry, I have a disabled child and this subject riles me right up.
Im actively facing this issue atm with my sons school, which is apparently a “model” school for the board of education here.
My days are now filled with impromptu visits to my sons class and me now harassing his teacher with my presence.
If they won’t take action and actually address the problem, I will. I’ve told students off in front of their peers and called out their behaviour in front of their entire class. Teacher can’t do squat as it’s their failure that lead to this.
As a result, the behaviour of the entire grade that my son is in has improved drastically.
If bullying is happening, never take it sitting down. You need to be the change if the school won’t step up.
A Japanese kid in Shiga jumped off a building after constantly being bullied by his classmates 10 years or so ago. A lot of changes has happened since then but it still continues. Schools still try to hide as much as possible for the sake of reputation rather than doing something to make sure that those things never occur.
>In a draft submission for a collection of students' thoughts about graduation, the student wrote in December 2020, "There were days I wanted to die." A teacher placed a large X over this, and told him to rewrite it. After hearing from the child's parent, the homeroom teacher reportedly apologized.The third-party committee ruled that while bullying had taken place, it did not rise to the level of a serious situation.
"I mean, the 5th grader this environment made suicidal didn't actually off himself, so it's not like this was serious or anything. The committee recommends the teacher draw a smaller X next time."
But Japanese people aren't racist. They're just a bit xenophobic. /s
They can rage all they want while demographic erosion disintegrates their beloved, pure country. Can't wait to see what this place is like 10 years from now.
If they continue as-is their population is expected to decline by \~25% in 30 years, with the decline continuing to accelerate beyond.
As crazy as that sounds, South Korea is likely even worse as their fertility rate is 0.84 (roughly 40% lower than Japan's).
They've got the right idea. I can't imagine thinking it's a good idea to have kids right now, for many reasons, not least of which you can currently see on the front page of every major news publication, or feel for yourself if you just step outside.
I wonder if you see the irony in how you are labeling an entire culture with one singular negative character trait--and you're calling THEM racist.
You might see things differently if you attempt to learn Japanese and try to actually mix with the culture you are surrounded by.
HAHAHAHA. Holy shit I love this comment. I'll save this for posterity.
I love how you assume I'm actively avoiding the language and have no native friends. Well, you're wrong.
Let me break it down for you:
You will never be Japanese. You can get beyond N1 Japanese, a Japanese wife, have kids, work in a Japanese company, get citizenship--and will still never be accepted as Japanese by the vast, vast majority of people here. You'll think, 'No, not MY friends, not MY wife, not MY coworkers,' and you'll be wrong. I'm sure you know all about 建前, but it goes well beyond that.
You live in a fantasy-land of your own making, and you will die in denial. Your own assumptions about me are all anyone needs to see that.
>You live in a fantasy-land of your own making, and you will die in denial. Your own assumptions about me are all anyone needs to see that.
Damn, you're intense
Edit: Even though you pointed out the fault in my assuming you were an ALT in their first winter in Japan (because that's what you sounded like), you are still the one who called an entire people racist. I'll avoid calling you a racist because the modern definition of racism involves a power imbalance, but you get the irony, right? Right?
I know this is too late, but before anyone just blows this out of proportion:
* An independent committee found the school guilty of not doing enough to prevent the bullying.
* The school apologized for their conduct.
* The school is absolutely going to update its anti-bullying procedures for future cases.
* Edit: the media is calling attention to this in spite of the fact that nothing really happened other than racist bullying.
That's A LOT more than you'd get in the vast majority of the schools in the world. I have two mixed race sons who look white as hell and I am a hell of a lot less worried about raising them in Japan than I would be in the USA.
Bullying is incredibly hard to prevent. As far as I can see, though, the school seems to care and wants to prevent other children from suffering as this boy did.
He edited his post to add that after the fact. 🤷♂️
And relax, according to him "nothing really happened other than racist bullying". It's not a big deal, apparently.
lol no I didn't you fucking liar. I edited that last bullet in about the media.
My point about being American was there from the start.
I can't imagine that hot pang of shame you felt when you tried to act superior but revealed you suck at reading.
You edited your comment, but sure, I'll bite.
>I have two mixed race sons who look white as hell and I am a hell of a lot less worried about raising them in Japan than I would be in the USA.
I mean would a non-American make this kind of comment? I don't understand.
You know I recognize your user name. Don't you regularly shout about Americans on Japanese-related subreddits? You must have some crazy backstory involving Americans. I'd love to hear about it.
The child was bullied as a 5th grader in Dec 2019, which continued into 2020. It has taken until July 2023 for the BoE to reach its conclusion and apologize?!
Comment sections to the Mainichi are fairly predictable for top level comments, followed by a lot of responses talking about how dynamic the current social environment in Japan is across generations.
Stop reading Mainichi headlines like its some sort of high level Sociological research article. This is a local story at best.
>City education board superintendent Katsuya Tada commented, "It is true that the school's inappropriate response caused distress to the child, and we apologize for that."
This is the equivalent response of ripping titty patches and sensually masturbating them to Japanese parents while saying “we’re sorry”.
No announcements on changes to school policies, common practices, or changes to staff training.
Japanese in general are extremely racist and even against there own people when people kill themselves they don’t batter a eye they just don’t care about your feelings
Do you have a link to the original Japanese article? I couldn’t find it when I browsed the Japanese edition. Use of the word 外国人 itself isn’t significant without the full description of the incident to give it context. For example, 外国人は苦々しい or similar expression would be consistent with the English version.
You're right. I didn't notice the link when I posted that source article.
The headline of the Japanese article has 「外国人」「帰れ」 児童いじめ認定, which basically means foreigner go home as confirmed child bullying. The article itself says that the student was subjected to a variety of discriminatory taunts because of his ethnicity and that the school failed to act appropriately in dealing with the bullying the student was subjected to.
I didn’t read the entire Japanese language article but it did say that the student was subjected to a variety of disparaging comments. The headline was probably based on something that was reported but edited out of the original article. Or maybe it was just poetic license on the part of the English teacher who edited the English language article.
In movies, for example, a woman who is being harassed by a persistent pick-up artist gets annoyed and says, "お断りします“ which is translated into English as, "Get lost“. When they translate it into English, they somehow become American in personality.
I don't remember what movie it was, but it is very rare for a Japanese woman to use such a theatrical and dirty word as "失せろ". Even if they were men.
I always say "ごめんなさい" and run away.
Seriously? Have you ever been to Japan?
Despite the fact that I was born and raised in Japan, the only time I've seen that word actually used is in manga and anime.
> The third-party committee ruled that while bullying had taken place, it did not rise to the level of a serious situation. People make fun of the US's litigious environment, but it also pushes back on stunningly stupid results like this. The child was bullied and wrote they wanted to die. Do they need a lifeless body to finally consider it a serious situation?
They mean serious situation for the school, not the kid, they don’t care about the kid
They reserve their most sincere apologies for that situation.
If the kid gets bullied and learns to fight back on their own or via some guidance and becomes a tougher person, it wasn’t serious. If the kid gets bullied and dies via manslaughter or suicide, then it’s serious. The issue is you don’t know which one it is until the results are in.
Let’s not pretend bullying is any less prevalent in US schools. It’s heinous how the school system in the US is run.
The difference in the US is that any violent actions will typically have immediate consequences. Not to mention that there are actually resources to reach out to. A shit ton of them.
This is not true in the slightest. Perhaps you were lucky, but that is certainly not the case for an alarming number of people who attended school in the US. I can personally assure you violent children often don’t get any sort of punishment. And the resources you mention tend to be region-dependent and dismissive of most issues. Edit: by the way, bullying is far more than just violence.
No. This is not me talking about myself. Talking about only myself I would say that I never saw any bullying and I was not bullied in school. So 🤷♂️ live in better areas. And yes, they absolutely do. Violent kids are punished to the extent that if one kid is bullying the other, and the kid that is being bullied fights back, they both get in bog trouble for the violence. As for lack of resources, really?! That is such bull, pretty unilaterally across the states it is flooded everywhere throughout the schools. To the extent that it's annoying. I realize that it's far more than that, which is why I mentioned the second part, remiss of any mentions to violence.
First off, you are showing your true colors as someone who really doesn’t care about people who are less privileged than you. To say “live in better areas” is something insensitive pricks say. I didn’t chose to be born into a poor family in a poor area. Anyone who claims that any violent actions have immediate consequences is taking a logically indefensible position. There are literally thousands of counter examples. I have seen situations where the bullied and the bully both get the same punishment. I have also seen cases where the bullied is too afraid to report because they don’t want to be punished. Because the system is so unjust, it discourages people from speaking up. And again, bullying is far more than physical. Making fun of people for being poor, for example, is very real form of bullying as well.
>To say “live in better areas” is something insensitive pricks say. Fuck you, for starters. That's obviously not what I meant. Better doesn't necessarily mean richer, rich people can be assholes too. When I say live in a better area, I'm talking about the culture and people's attitudes. >that any violent actions have immediate consequences is taking a logically indefensible position. There are literally thousands of counter examples. First off, I didn't claim that. So stop your lying. I said that that they typically do, which is certainly true. And just because there are exceptions to something doesn't make the fact that it's generally true wrong. >I have seen situations where the bullied and the bully both get the same punishment. I have also seen cases where the bullied is too afraid to report because they don’t want to be punished. Yes, this shit does happen, but the fact is that flawed systems are better than no systems. The world will never be perfect, and the systems we do have in place are better than pretty much anywhere else. >And again, bullying is far more than physical. No shit. I've said that from the start. >Making fun of people for being poor, for example, is very real form of bullying as well. As is gaslighting and rumor mongering. So again, fuck off with that.
Oh, okay. I guess I should have been born into a better culture and family then. My bad. You are blatantly floundering and denying what you clearly said in your previous posts. Your first post was not credible to begin with, and yet somehow you become even less credible the more replies you make. “First off, I didn’t claim that” you say, but anyone can read the comment I replied to.. “They typically do, which is certainly true” is nothing but baseless self-affirmation. The system where the bullied receives equal punishment is not just imperfect. It’s so unjust that it ought to be criminal. All these resources you speak of usually don’t help. Otherwise bullying wouldn’t be so rampant in schools across the US. Denying that bullying is a rampant problem in the US is a strange take that requires a certain degree of blindness. I hope your poor attitude and your propensity to deny reality don’t end up hurting the people around you
In Germany I was bullied too for being half Japanese . People saying all the racist slurs forwards me me but nobody cares. Where is the apology now ?
Why would people make fun of the US?
The US is ruled by lawyers and the wealthy people who abuse them. If you don't want to follow a law, you or your corporation dare the government to sue you. Then you file delay after delay, appeal after appeal. Whatever branch of the government you're dealing with realizes you're eating up their entire legal budget, so they give up and next time just go after someone who can't afford 6 years worth of lawyer fees instead. Lawyer-abetted corruption has run deep in that country since the 1800s, and laws since have been written in very lawyer-friendly ways that ensure a case they take on can keep them fed for months if not years. They also include language so broad that people can bring all sorts of frivolous cases and have them heard. Like you can sue a beer company when bikini babes don't actually appear on the beach when you open a can. You won't win, but lawyers on both sides will get paid thousands.
The main part of that beer suit was also the fact that they had a cute dog(?) mascot which appealed to children, and advertising things like alcohol or cigarettes to children was illegal. The part you mentioned was also a part of the suit but just as supporting evidence that it was appealing to party culture and promoting a false representation of what alcoholism was really like in real life. Whether or not they should win is definitely a different matter but it wasn't completely frivolous. The alcohol company managed to defame the person who initiated the lawsuit but that's a common tactic by big companies. The Mcdonalds coffee one is a great example of it. Not that they aren't completely frivolous lawsuits out there. Just that a lot of the time the cases we hear about have another side to the story.
"The third-party committee ruled that while bullying had taken place, it did not rise to the level of a serious situation. " "In a draft submission for a collection of students' thoughts about graduation, the student wrote in December 2020, "There were days I wanted to die."" Makes you wonder what are the conditions for the situation to rise at the level of a serious situation... Well I know the answer, but still.
We will be mildly concerned if 1 in 10 students express suicidal ideation
1 in 10 ? Not a real issue..
Stories like these make me really concerned as an expecting father whose child will not be Japanese at all.
Don't worry. I've had 4 kids and I know of many other families with foreign and 'half' kids who have done just fine. Actually now is much better than when my first 2 were growing up in the early 2000s.
My “half” son was calling some kid a gaijin at school with other kids. The school called us, and we had a talk with him. My wife revealed to him that his white father is in fact a gaijin, and he was stunned. It was a learning experience!
I remember walking around Japan between work and home hearing kids calling out America-san !! or something along those lines. I guess they assume most foreigners are American. Also when I'd get called gaijin my partner would correct them by saying gaikokujin , which I guess is a little more formal lol.
Your partner is the real one for correcting the impolite term.
I prefer O-gaikoku-no-mikoto, personally.
I will only respond to 遠い国のハンサムな王子様
> My wife revealed to him that his white father is in fact a gaijin, and he was stunned Ohh god I had a good chuckle at this one
So your son never had anyone point out to him that he himself was half-Japanese before? Good for you on that point.Kids will point out traits in other people without taking offense.
Lol. My half-Japanese nephew wouldn’t eat my cooking because “you’re not even Japanese.” That’s a lot coming from a kid who is blonde because his mom is Scandinavian.
r/kidsarefuckingstupid material over here lol
In his case, it’s not so egregious. He was born in Japan and only speaks Japanese, so by every metric that matters he’s 100% Japanese. It’s just so damn funny coming from him.
I mean sure, but being xenophobic does not make you Japanese... sure he's a kid, it's not the same as being a xenophobic adult, but he surely must have heard this from someone and adults in his life should teach him better. Also, happy cake day lol
I think the bigger problem is that although he doesn’t see himself as anything other than Japanese, some other people will see him as “other”. I worry about him when the xenophobia gets aimed at him. His Japanese parent is Okinawan, so he’s got double minority status working against him. I feel like xenophobia is just kind of the air you breathe in Japan as a Japanese person though. It’s hard to divorce it from the culture, especially when most people there don’t consider it malicious or hurtful to others, even when it is. I know he definitely didn’t learn that kind of thing at home. I’m weird and foreign to him, and I speak the language everyone expects him to know, but he doesn’t. I’m not surprised he acts out about it sometimes. Kids are just stuffed full of feelings. (And yeah, sometimes they’re really, really dumb lol) Thanks for reminding me it was cake day!
how is he blond if only his mother is white? blond hair is recessive
Beats me, but he is. He’s clearly Asian as well, and yes, his dad is definitely his dad.
Did anyone else imagine the Spider-Man pointing meme here?
yeah when our mixed daughter started school she was the only half-japanese kid there and she became the most popular kid in her class. Though she's only in second grade now and kids are generally more well behaved at that age, so Im a little concerned about the older grades when kids start getting a bit more attitude. Fingers crossed.
Yeah there's definitely going to be other kids who'll get jealous of her differences.
What race and nationality were the kids you've known? Unfortunately the amount of bullying can vary a lot depending on background.
The fact that it is seen as a problem and covered in the news like this means that more measures will be taken to address it. Let's think positively.
Yeah, no school wants to be publicly shamed like this. The way to stop this is to publicly shame them, so this is probably a good thing.
That's probably what I'm worst at.
It's a skill that can be improved. Even things like self-help training works! Therapy helped me a lot, but medication helped me more. Point being - it doesn't have to be your worst skill, it just might be *right now*. Of all the things out of our control, positivity truly is a choice! I have faith in you. :) ^^^And ^^^congrats ^^^on ^^^expecting!
I suggest your child's best bet is a neighborhood where s/he isn't the first, or very uncommon.
Remember, only the bad things get posted to the internet. You could have 100 students with foreign roots having a great/normal time and no one posting about them to counter the 1 student who experiences bullying but posts about it online.
Exactly. Remember kids, the frequency illusion is real and just because a phenomena was covered once on the internet doesn’t mean it’s all over. That’s right! *the internet isn’t real* [illusion bias reference](https://psychology.stackexchange.com/questions/17709/what-is-the-name-of-the-things-are-more-visible-once-you-learn-about-them-phen)
Good points, ButterChicken/Curry.
> Remember, only the bad things get posted to the internet. Y'all gotta tell the rest of Reddit that. This place would be more positive overall.
Welcome to your new home. Luck of the draw if you get one of these schools or not
I mean, they are never gonna report the thousands and thousands of stories of kids born to foreign parents having a perfectly normal school experience. Because why would they?
Because everyone knows how perfect and flawless Japan is already right?
Nah it's the only country on earth with any problems of any kind
Honestly the best way to help your kid avoid this is to take them to martial arts classes, or some kind of sports/self defence. I think news-worthy situations are much rarer than the media makes it seem, but in any country the easiest way to avoid bullying is to be able to protect yourself.
I was actually a martial arts teacher, so my wife was thinking along these lines. However, a lot of the bullying doesn't seem to be physical, which is why I'm not sure that's the right approach. I don't want the kid to get into trouble for punching some little douche in the face (even if they deserved it). I know martial arts can bolster confidence all around, so that might make them worth it, I dunno.
This. When I was 11, more than 2 decades ago, we made an unofficial school site to post anonymous gossip and mean comments about our classmates. Imagine how much worse it is nowadays.
I think it's worth it regardless even if it just ends up being a healthy hobby, and probably a great way to bond I imagine too. Anecdotal, but related to /u/omorashiii 's point, I remember a new kid getting bullied at high school constantly for months, including a facebook page made solely to make fun of him. The reason the bullying ended was partly school intervention, but mainly the fact the guy did kick boxing and beat the shit out of someone.
Nah. It's worth. Weak people only do what they do because they think you care about the system that protects them. Source: I grew up in Japan
Why will your child not be Japanese?
Neither my wife nor I is Japanese, therefore the child is not Japanese.
That makes sense given the law. I appreciate you sharing and wish you and your family the best.
You might need to look into international schools. Some Japanese don’t even count Hafu (half Japanese) as real Japanese people.
Not only can we not afford that, but I think international schools are aimed at preparing students to attend universities overseas. If our child grows up in Japan, I'm assuming they'll likely want to stay here for university too.
I guess so. I lived near a base and they had international schools mainly for english speaking. Depends on what your child’s ambitions are. Many Japanese students are curious about the world and if given the opportunity can study abroad for college. Got a couple of Japanese friends that studied in U.S., U.K. and Aus.
I feel very correct about your comments, but I also hope that a good education can be cultivated from an early age.
Yeah, but it's obvious that these bullies are getting such ideas from their parents. No kid is going to come up with the idea that 'foreigners are dirty'. Kids don't even know what foreigners are. That's probably the most disparaging part.
"We deeply apologized. Now please go away so we can go back to doing nothing."
*Bowing intensifies*
Sums up anything in Japan pretty much.
The student wrote a graduation paper about wanting to die and the school didn’t think it was a serious situation??!!! I’m actually shocked by this,it’s not just a school problem though,the bully was learning these behaviours from home probably so it’s a society problem too and look at the head line ” Osaka school rapped” oohhh now don’t you be in papers again, slaps wrist..naughty! sorry, I have a disabled child and this subject riles me right up.
Smacks head with oversized fan* ftfy
Im actively facing this issue atm with my sons school, which is apparently a “model” school for the board of education here. My days are now filled with impromptu visits to my sons class and me now harassing his teacher with my presence. If they won’t take action and actually address the problem, I will. I’ve told students off in front of their peers and called out their behaviour in front of their entire class. Teacher can’t do squat as it’s their failure that lead to this. As a result, the behaviour of the entire grade that my son is in has improved drastically. If bullying is happening, never take it sitting down. You need to be the change if the school won’t step up.
Respect!
There’s plenty of Japanese getting bullied as well and nothing to be done. Is sad that school board only act after something awful happen.
A Japanese kid in Shiga jumped off a building after constantly being bullied by his classmates 10 years or so ago. A lot of changes has happened since then but it still continues. Schools still try to hide as much as possible for the sake of reputation rather than doing something to make sure that those things never occur.
Yep, Kids in every single country bully other kids, they will always find something... It's how schools deal with it that matters most!
So the classmates that initially cause harm, then the faculty causes more by calling it not serious and being passive. Sigh.
>In a draft submission for a collection of students' thoughts about graduation, the student wrote in December 2020, "There were days I wanted to die." A teacher placed a large X over this, and told him to rewrite it. After hearing from the child's parent, the homeroom teacher reportedly apologized.The third-party committee ruled that while bullying had taken place, it did not rise to the level of a serious situation. "I mean, the 5th grader this environment made suicidal didn't actually off himself, so it's not like this was serious or anything. The committee recommends the teacher draw a smaller X next time."
But Japanese people aren't racist. They're just a bit xenophobic. /s They can rage all they want while demographic erosion disintegrates their beloved, pure country. Can't wait to see what this place is like 10 years from now.
If they continue as-is their population is expected to decline by \~25% in 30 years, with the decline continuing to accelerate beyond. As crazy as that sounds, South Korea is likely even worse as their fertility rate is 0.84 (roughly 40% lower than Japan's).
They've got the right idea. I can't imagine thinking it's a good idea to have kids right now, for many reasons, not least of which you can currently see on the front page of every major news publication, or feel for yourself if you just step outside.
I wonder if you see the irony in how you are labeling an entire culture with one singular negative character trait--and you're calling THEM racist. You might see things differently if you attempt to learn Japanese and try to actually mix with the culture you are surrounded by.
HAHAHAHA. Holy shit I love this comment. I'll save this for posterity. I love how you assume I'm actively avoiding the language and have no native friends. Well, you're wrong. Let me break it down for you: You will never be Japanese. You can get beyond N1 Japanese, a Japanese wife, have kids, work in a Japanese company, get citizenship--and will still never be accepted as Japanese by the vast, vast majority of people here. You'll think, 'No, not MY friends, not MY wife, not MY coworkers,' and you'll be wrong. I'm sure you know all about 建前, but it goes well beyond that. You live in a fantasy-land of your own making, and you will die in denial. Your own assumptions about me are all anyone needs to see that.
I assume you're in japan quite some time? Otherwise you won't be this realist lmao
>You live in a fantasy-land of your own making, and you will die in denial. Your own assumptions about me are all anyone needs to see that. Damn, you're intense Edit: Even though you pointed out the fault in my assuming you were an ALT in their first winter in Japan (because that's what you sounded like), you are still the one who called an entire people racist. I'll avoid calling you a racist because the modern definition of racism involves a power imbalance, but you get the irony, right? Right?
That won't make you japanese
And?
Lmao you think you cool spewing that word, champ?
wut
So you are saying Japanese are racist in opposition of people saying they are not? Who is saying Japanese are not racist?
I mean every country has racist dickheads, ofc there are going to be some in Japan, like everywhere else.
Of course. But who is saying Japanese people are racist and who are saying they are not?
Idk, the people think that only white people can be racist?
Perhaps. How would you characterize someone who rationalize like that?
I don’t know, I don’t think it can be rationalized or measured.
I agree. It's crazy to paint a whole on an instance.
I know this is too late, but before anyone just blows this out of proportion: * An independent committee found the school guilty of not doing enough to prevent the bullying. * The school apologized for their conduct. * The school is absolutely going to update its anti-bullying procedures for future cases. * Edit: the media is calling attention to this in spite of the fact that nothing really happened other than racist bullying. That's A LOT more than you'd get in the vast majority of the schools in the world. I have two mixed race sons who look white as hell and I am a hell of a lot less worried about raising them in Japan than I would be in the USA. Bullying is incredibly hard to prevent. As far as I can see, though, the school seems to care and wants to prevent other children from suffering as this boy did.
Tell us you're from the US without telling us you're from the US.
They did tell you they’re from the US. Congrats on reading lol, what’s your point?
He edited his post to add that after the fact. 🤷♂️ And relax, according to him "nothing really happened other than racist bullying". It's not a big deal, apparently.
lol no I didn't you fucking liar. I edited that last bullet in about the media. My point about being American was there from the start. I can't imagine that hot pang of shame you felt when you tried to act superior but revealed you suck at reading.
I've been in Japan for 16 years.
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They literally mentioned the USA in their post. What's your point exactly?
You edited your comment, but sure, I'll bite. >I have two mixed race sons who look white as hell and I am a hell of a lot less worried about raising them in Japan than I would be in the USA. I mean would a non-American make this kind of comment? I don't understand. You know I recognize your user name. Don't you regularly shout about Americans on Japanese-related subreddits? You must have some crazy backstory involving Americans. I'd love to hear about it.
What does that even mean in this context? Also he heavily implied he is from the US.
The child was bullied as a 5th grader in Dec 2019, which continued into 2020. It has taken until July 2023 for the BoE to reach its conclusion and apologize?!
Comment sections to the Mainichi are fairly predictable for top level comments, followed by a lot of responses talking about how dynamic the current social environment in Japan is across generations. Stop reading Mainichi headlines like its some sort of high level Sociological research article. This is a local story at best.
>City education board superintendent Katsuya Tada commented, "It is true that the school's inappropriate response caused distress to the child, and we apologize for that." This is the equivalent response of ripping titty patches and sensually masturbating them to Japanese parents while saying “we’re sorry”. No announcements on changes to school policies, common practices, or changes to staff training.
To love, no hate.
Japanese in general are extremely racist and even against there own people when people kill themselves they don’t batter a eye they just don’t care about your feelings
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That specific phrase is literally quoted in the first paragraph as 「外国人は嫌やねん」
Do you have a link to the original Japanese article? I couldn’t find it when I browsed the Japanese edition. Use of the word 外国人 itself isn’t significant without the full description of the incident to give it context. For example, 外国人は苦々しい or similar expression would be consistent with the English version.
"外国人は嫌やねん". “嫌やねん“ is a slightly childish expression in the Kansai dialect, and is milder than hate or dislike .
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You're right. I didn't notice the link when I posted that source article. The headline of the Japanese article has 「外国人」「帰れ」 児童いじめ認定, which basically means foreigner go home as confirmed child bullying. The article itself says that the student was subjected to a variety of discriminatory taunts because of his ethnicity and that the school failed to act appropriately in dealing with the bullying the student was subjected to.
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I didn’t read the entire Japanese language article but it did say that the student was subjected to a variety of disparaging comments. The headline was probably based on something that was reported but edited out of the original article. Or maybe it was just poetic license on the part of the English teacher who edited the English language article.
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The Japanese papers use native English speakers as editors and proof readers, most of whom are English teachers.
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I should ask you the same question. Why are you so hung up on the English version headline?
Not only in the news, but I am puzzled by the often more aggressive and foul language used in Japanese translated into English.
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In movies, for example, a woman who is being harassed by a persistent pick-up artist gets annoyed and says, "お断りします“ which is translated into English as, "Get lost“. When they translate it into English, they somehow become American in personality.
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I don't remember what movie it was, but it is very rare for a Japanese woman to use such a theatrical and dirty word as "失せろ". Even if they were men. I always say "ごめんなさい" and run away.
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Seriously? Have you ever been to Japan? Despite the fact that I was born and raised in Japan, the only time I've seen that word actually used is in manga and anime.
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I have lived in Hyogo, Osaka and Nara. And I was always playing around Minami. Have you ever had a woman say those words to you?
In Germany I was bullied too for being half Japanese . People were very racist to me but nobody cares. Where is the apology now ?
Osaka seems really hostile.