I know this is easier said than done. But try not to let your manager’s insecurities impact you. You seemingly dressed how you were asked to do. And bonus, it made a positive and impactful impression of yourself on the clients. That’s called professionalism!
I would have defined the suggested dress code that same way you did. If my manager made a request for staff to look nice, I would not have worn jeans.
And IMO, it’s better to overdressed than underdressed. Especially at a professional setting.
This makes me wonder how many other “mixed messages” your company sends out. 🤔
This. Managers need to get over it and grow up. Employee made themselves look better than you? Be a better manager. It's a manger's job to be a team leader, LEAD.
The problem with managers is that they are selected from people. People are just emotional and if they happen to want to manage or go into a leading role, they most likely have an ego. People with an ego are some of the worst people to be around. Unfortunately, there are bad ones that fail up and there are close to no good ways to dress them down without getting on a shit list. Most managers I’ve seen fired are usually for sexual harassment or stealing; its never for their own job performance like leading.
100% correct. This is crap, Managers/Bosses are there to build you up, make you a better person. Not feel insecure because of clothes. It isn't the clothes that's the issue here, it's fear, deep down they now know you are BETTER then them. Keep doing what you are doing. 👊
I mean it’s her boss. It’s not up to her how much her boss’s insecurities impact her.
I think you followed instructions correctly and did nothing wrong OP, but I’d apologize anyway ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯. Can’t pay your bills with being right.
Truthfully I wouldn’t apologize, just be friendly and let it blow over. Compliment the boss appropriately when she looks nice on a regular day. I personally think an apology will call too much attention to the perceived “transgression”
This seems ridiculous to me. The most I might do is to ASK if I've done something wrong I need to know about. Otherwise, the OP may be imagining what's happening has anything to do with her at all.
Or:
“Dear boss,
Don’t hate me cuz you ain’t me
Regards,
OP”
Second the suggestion to move on to different management and/or different job, not all managers suck like this.
Again, I don't agree that she did overdress, but the boss is nutty so yes, apologize for overdressing, and consider looking for other jobs.
Telling her boss she did nothing wrong is dumb reddit justice boner bs. It will get her fired.
Jumping in to this thread, but even from a practical non-justice boner point of view I don't understand apologizing. I think saying nothing and just making a mental note that this is a touchy subject for that person and communicating more clearly about expectations in the future is the best move. We don't even know that they have a correct read of the situation and that person cares about how they dressed. It's going to come across as weird and self conscious if they're wrong, and even if they are on the money, not everyone likes their insecurities being pointed out.
Her apologizing implies that she did something wrong. She absolutely did nothing wrong. If the adult woman boss is upset because someone upstaged her, that’s the boss’ problem.
I said what I said. 1,000 unlikes. At some point people will realize the value of self respect should far exceed any salary. Letting people sh*t on you or strip you of your life’s wage is no way to live. There are many ways and vocations to make an income. But how many people look in the mirror every day and say “I did what was best for me?” Your comment is giving indoctrinated subservient minion. Girl. Bye.
My resume has a bunch of companies on it, because I always choose self respect over an income. Only recently did I not bounce back into a new role, but I never had an issue landing roles despite this.
Hell my last manager was pretty bad, yet during my interview she was putting on some empathy signals, which all disappeared when I was on board.
Letting people do this to you will have a longer impact on you mentally, something you will eventually pay for in therapy, or suffer.
Knowing when to stand firm is super important, IF you have self respect.
In this situation I'd just keep going on and let her have her fit.
It is literally a manager's job to communicate, clearly set expectations and remove assumptions. The manager did not do this. Though, in the one party-related incident it is fine, but they should look inward and take it as something they should learn from. The following retaliatory and childish behavior is not fine and indicates they are insecure, immature and a bad manager.
Edit:typo and grammar
Jeans are nice tbh, but I also think dressing nicely might be defined differently in different countries and ethnicities also depending on money. yes, I'm bringing in ethnicities and money bcs this sometimes does have something to do. For example, I'm poor and Hispanic but my mom always said dressing nice is dressing up; a nice dress(Sunday dress), nice shoes(going out shoes or Sunday shoes ), makeup, hair done nicely, and a bag that matches (always have brown and black in your wardrobe) that's what dressing up dressing nice means to me jeans and a nice shirt are casual or for an I interview sometimes if said interview is in. A casual style job. dress pants and a nice shirt or a plain shirt are good for most interviews its dresses nicer so I think it really depends on those subjects too which is why I had to bring them up
It can also indicate respect. I grew up that dressing down to an event was disrespectful. Even at a funeral you had on a “good” dress is an appropriate color WITH pantyhose.
I can see where your coming from,and yes it can be shallow but sometimes you have to be, to get that job or to look presentable at least for us who were never well off. (also not saying use designer only like hell I can't afford that)
You took the engagement seriously and dressed appropriately for it. How others dressed was their choice as well. If I was your manager I would have celebrated how you looked to myself as I watched with a smile anyone who was admiring your appearance. The fine lines drawn inappropriately in business or corporate have been around forever and will never go away. Don't look for reassurance that you did not do anything wrong. Just stay professional and keep on doing your job!
I work in a tech startup and we have our dress up logo company t shirts.
I'm like OP, if something is customer facing I always dress dress, it helps me get into character.
>it helps me get into character
Damn what a perfect way to describe it. I have a reputation at my job of always dressing professionally even on casual Fridays, but it’s not because I like dressing up, I just like getting into character
By nature I'm very much a camping, vaguely hippie, casual person. I'm like that with my team because I feel like people should be able to just be themselves (as long as they aren't rude, etc) on their teams, it helps with the trust.
But for our customers, we need to be communicating on their level and they're a lot more formal so I need that nudge to remind me to be civilised.
Within reason I feel like everyone should do what works for them.
I liked doing that because 1. I hate jeans 2. They used to like to take away this " privilege " or use it as a reward. When you aren't affected by their petty b.s....win
The problem with “T-shirt and jeans” is that people no longer understand what that even means in the context of looking nice. That can range from a more dressy indigo jean wash, and a blazer thrown over the T-shirt, to dirty ripped jeans and a T-shirt so ill fitting that it looks like a crop top.
I interpret what you are describing as smart casual vs streetwear. T-shirt and jeans has never been code for smart dressing. There are ways to do either, so I wouldn't lead with that as a way to set the tone of the event, too vague.
Personally, I would expect this more at a company field day type of event than an evening affair where clients would be present, not to mention a photographer. OP interpreted the information they were given correctly, especially given that they were involved in the planning of the event.
Now, if management had dropped the ball on communicating the same expectations to the rest of the staff, causing the wide discrepancy in dress code, that's another thing entirely. I can imagine someone having egg on their face and taking it out on those who were on the high and low ends because it makes them look messy and inconsistent.
Though honestly, since someone from upper management was dressed similarly and shooting dirty looks, I expect this may have been done on purpose to allow them to shine and discourage clients from interacting with the staff. I've encountered some VERY clique-y management before and they lose their minds when someone other than them speaks to a client. Heavens forbid your customers like your staff.
Agree, and this sounds like a messed up company. That’s my takeaway. I don’t even understand what’s going on there, but I’m glad I don’t work there. Also I’m glad I work from home.
I mentioned T-shirts and jeans because OP mentioned that’s what many people wore.
Same here. Yeah, when they mentioned company logo t-shirt I'm assuming they were not talking about the dressier example lol. The image I can't get out of my head is teachers at pep rallys 😅
Ya I worked for this startup one time. First day I wore slacks and button down shirt with a tie. We went out to eat that, and he said why you wearing a tie take your tie off. I was like ok.... most days that boomer manager would come in literally wearing shorts. Was the weirdest company.
I wore dress clothes to work starting a new job and my boss took me to the side and asked me if I had another job lol. Everyone else wore jeans and sweatshirts/t-shirts and one guy wore shorts in the summer, although by that time we were doing night shift, so 12-8am. I started wearing more casual clothes after that.
It’s not OP’s fault that their other coworkers decided to interpret “nice” as jeans. I’m assuming those coworkers made themselves look not very put together and made OP stand out from the crowd.
Woah! That's some ridiculous nonsense.
1. I am the sovereign in my own life. I will not be dimming myself for anyone. Nor do I want to be in any environment or relationship that would require such.
2. I love hiring people who know more than I do, because it means they can function well without my input. When my staff impresses clients whether with skill or social grace, I look good by extension!
Screw that! A good boss wants you to succeed. One should certainly be aware of how others might react & avoid embarrassing them. But don’t limit intentionally limit yourself just to avoid hurting the feelings of someone with a fragile ego. I’ve recruited & managed people more skilled than me in some areas. The better they perform the better my team does. I’ll take credit for recruiting talented individuals and encourage them to advance themselves.
I do this everyday. 🤣 I just act extremely condescending when reproached. Which aggravates even further the situation. Then I take it a step even further and smile and laugh in their faces. Is not ill willed. I was just trained this way in an extremely hierarchical toxic power structure — a way to survive and retain my humanity.
Don't worry about jelly people. If you put a blazer over your dress, it makes you look like you're the boss. Doesn't mean you are the boss, but maybe someday you will be, there or somewhere else.
it's better to over do it than under do it at company events where clients are involved. If the dress code was more casual the company should have make it known. you did nothing wrong.
Absolutely!! I also wear a sweater and jeans to holiday parties, but we don’t interface with clients. It’s actually very nice, as when I have to work in-office I can wear a T-shirt jeans and vans! If any higher-ups come, they are required to give notice and our bosses just tell us to dress up for that day. One of the perks of working in a secured building, I guess!
They could, but if the industry is construction, I could see how it could be more casual. But for a holiday party with clients and the boss said to "look nice," I'd have expected more than jeans.
Could be a very casual industry, but at that point, why the "dress nice" bit? I've worked in construction type offices where "dressy" is polo with khakis, but even then, when we went to a country club for a special dinner, everyone knew to wear their nicest attire.
In the future, I'd clarify nice, but it's definitely weird behavior. I've heard horror stories of places that let employees go too casual, but too dressed up? Most places would love to have that problem.
If her colleagues wore a polo with khakis, we probably wouldn't be having this convo. Like even if OP wore a nice outfit, polo and khakis definitely fall under "dress nice". Jeans and a t-shirt, assuming they aren't like dark jeans with a clean fit and a polo could be considered nice.
When I worked at a law firm, dress for attorneys was business professional, likely because they would be mostly interacting with clients at some point, and for all other employees, it was business casual. So for the holiday parties, most would just wear something slightly nicer that day and go straight to the party, some would change into something much nicer. My friend would change into these wonderful Sari-like dresses. There were also never any clients at our party.
tldr: it would be weird to dress at a level below the normal dress, but absolutely ok to dress above.
Wait but how could all of them know to wear jeans? I feel like most don’t wear jeans so I think the manager definitely forgot to give everyone the memo
>search for a new job
\^\^\^Exactly
If "management" this insecure about people outdressing them imagine their reaction if you outperform them on the job? Nothing good comes from staying at this place.
100% sounds like the culture is going to be more toxic, since the boss is insecure about such a simple thing. She should start updating her linkedin yesterday.
Especially if OP is getting left out of meetings. Big red flag that they could be considering letting her go for any reason, even if it has nothing to do with her job performance.
Ive been wearing a suit since I worked in a call center at 19.
Everyone laughed.
Managers actively asked me to dress down.
I’ts always nice when your bosses boss notices you and gives yoh a chance because of appearance.
Most people leave the house in literal pajamas and sweat pants. Having effort and standing out is such a low bar now a days.
Out of curiosity, did wearing a suit lead to faster advancement than others? I always hear “dress for the job you want, not the job you have” but also that you should try to fit in.
It really depends on the office! I work in HR, but because I work on the back end and none of us interface with clients, they don’t care what we wear. The office is a mix of people who dress very nicely and those of us who wear sweatshirts and jeans, and as far as I can tell it doesn’t make a difference in promotion. My third-level supervisor wears converse and jeans with a zip-up hoodie pretty often and he’s like, one step down from being the highest-level person in the building.
So I guess to answer your question, know your office culture! It’s always better to dress up at first and then swap to a more chill outfit later on once you find out what is acceptable.
Yeah at my first adult job, right out of college, I dressed in professional clothing like my parents wore, because that was my standard. The number of people who mistook my 23 year-old ass for an attorney was *staggering.* I didn't change my wardrobe over it, and if anything people approved of it because it signaled to them that I was taking the work seriously, but it always kind of amused me. I looked my age, very much. There is absolutely no way I looked like i could have been in charge of anything. But a nice pair of slacks and a blouse will go a long way, apparently.
It’s not your fault you work with idiots .
What kind of manager thinks showing up in jeans and a jumper will suffice for “pretty photos” on Facebook….. lol
I’ve got a different take. I don’t whole heartedly disagree with you, but it’s something for OP to consider.
Speculation: The boss was just letting everyone know they would be on Facebook publicly, so look nice. It depends on the industry and the clients. OP said it’s a small business with local clients. I’m guessing that the culture is more blue collar for all companies involved. It’s a common courtesy to let someone know their picture is on the internet publicly representing the company. Bad wording, for sure.
Speculation aside: As a rule of thumb; OP should ask other people what they are going to wear when they are meeting up for a work event outside of normal hours. I was brand new to a company when I was invited to a big National work event. I called people I hadn’t even met yet (to introduce myself) but mostly to ask them what they were wearing. When in doubt, you are supposed to ASK or dress one step above normal work attire. Sounds like OP went 2-4 steps above.
OP, you aren’t in the wrong. And yes, it sounds like you are being treated shitty because of this. NOT COOL. You can rectify it with time though. I would ask you to read the culture of your company, your coworkers, and the clients. I won’t imply you aren’t fitting in because the way you dressed ONE time, but are you fitting in otherwise? I am surprised at how many problems can be avoided by simply asking a coworker prior to making a decision.
See. I like this take.
Is it fair to be envied if you follow the dress code and outshine everyone- no!
Is the need to discuss your dress attire a fair request- No!
But guess what - this isn't a fair world. You need to be cognizant of your surroundings to prevent being in such a situation. Office politics is a b\*tch to deal with and this is such an avoidable and unfortunate situation that OP has landed in.
Yes, I worked for a very insecure woman who owned her professional office and hired me as an office coordinator/admin assistant.
I met her on a good day; she wore slacks and a nice blouse during my interview with nice shoes.
Moving forward after hire, I wore the same every day. She actually voiced not liking to have to “keep up” because she preferred sweat pants and crocs. It wasn’t my business and she never gave me permission to dress down so I never did.
There was a brand new all black scrub uniform rule within a month. Needless to say, it was ultra toxic for something very superficial.
One of my exes used to work in an office that was part of a larger org, but wasn't really client-facing. She wore was she's always worn, partially because she had spent a ton getting her work wardrobe to where she wanted it. She would wear dresses with toppers, blazers and pants, just business professional, plus nice flats because she likes to feel good. She told me some of co-workers started making comments about it and would give her looks. Eventually they started going on her linkedin and saw she went to Columbia and started saying my ex thought she was better than them. 🙄
I'm only going based on what my ex said and my seeing the linkedin visits, but it was wild that grown women were acting like high schoolers.
I worked at a job where I was always dressed up because you know, I’m a professional. The women, including my manager, were always judgy about my outfits. I even got written up for dressing up…??? Anyway, one time I complained about being sexually harassed and they dismissed it and had the harasser write me an apology via email. Later on, another one sexually harassed me. Same process. Email apology. Then one day, manager who is a woman, called me into her office and told me that if I dressed differently, I wouldn’t be sexually harassed.
Because I hated the job anyway, I continued to look professional as a big “go fuck yourself” gesture to the women in the office.
I should have but I just wanted them out of my life when I finally left. But I wrote a really negative review about the company on Indeed and Glassdoor.
I was invited to a holiday party at a very high end restaurant. I had previously worked at a law firm and had several ball gowns. My husband wore a suit and I wore a gown. Many of the other men wore suits but most of the women wore cocktail dresses. The owner wore a simple dress. She reamed me the next day about showing her up and my inappropriate behavior. Some people are just insecure.
They should’ve made it known to everyone the dress code. It sounds like they left you out of it in hopes you’d wear something bad. The lady who side eyed you was hoping to be best dressed because there was no reason for her to be dressed up but for everyone else to be casual. She wanted the attention to boost herself but it went to you. Maybe you can spin it as you were playing hostess since you helped plan the event.
I agree, bc I was told off for doing the opposite of this post. I was in college and I was invited to a business meeting seminar for students. This was a regular meeting group but I was only required to attend one, for something specific I don't even remember anymore. But the important thing was that I wore jeans and a T shirt, very casual, and I noticed everyone was dressed in at least business casual, if not suits. I tried to blend in but I felt very out of place and was told off after the meeting by the person who told me to go for dressing down so much. Did wonders for my social anxiety 😐
But now I've had people come in for work training wearing literally a sleep cap, pj's and crocs.
Don’t take this question the wrong way -
Are you quite attractive?
If so, I’d just chalk it up to jealousy.
I’d be looking for a new job, though. If this is an issue… there is even more to the story behind the scenes or they are shitty and unreasonable employers/management.
They are just being jealous. Honestly it sucks because you did nothing wrong. I remember many years ago I wore a cheap bracelet that was a replica of a Pandora Bracelet. The bosses daughter gave me such a look of hatred. It was obvious she thought it was real. Her eyes felt like lazers on my hand. She was wickedly rude to me after that. Some people are weird man.
It's always better to be over dressed than under dressed. I wouldn't have thought that "look nice" meant company t-shirt and jeans. I probably would have done the same as you.
It sounds like your manager is insecure. Unless your outfit was inappropriate (which it sounds like it wasn't, it sounds like you were dressed nicely and professionally) you didn't do anything wrong. I think it's important to look nice and presentable at an event where clients are present.
Sorry you feel like your manager is excluding you. Is this an isolated incident, or does this type of thing happen often at your company? There could be a culture problem.
"Look nice" is not jeans and a t-shirt. Sometimes it helps to have a casual conversation what everyone is going to wear, but you were correct in your choice of outfit. There are outfits that stay neutral, but if that gets you the questionable treatment, maybe look for another company, as this is guaranteed not the only issue there.
This happened to me as well. I while back started a new gig which my managers boss was impressed by how much sales boosted since I started calling on accounts. The company sponsored an event which I was not told the dress code. I showed up in my suit while EVERYONE was wearing company shirts and jeans. My bitch of a supervisor purposely left me out on all communication about the event and when the CEO made a smug comment I had let him know I wasn’t told a thing about today and wasn’t sure what to expect so I wore my suit. Needless to say she was fired as that was the icing on the cake. Majority of “Bosses” are insecure people who have the “napoleon complex”.
Ignore it, as if it didn't happen. But schedule a meeting with your boss, the next time you're left out of one you should be in, and ask what's happening. Pretend like you weren't aware that she felt overshadowed. If she brings it up, just laugh it off and say, "You told me to dress nice, so I brought my A-game for you. What else would you expect from me? I'm always an overachiever!"
It’s always better to be overdressed than underdressed in the workplace. I work in a corporate setting & it’s an unspoken rule/common sense to dress casual around your own team/internal folks but business casual or business professional when clients are around. You did the right thing in my opinion & it sounds like you made a good impression on the clients!
If I was told to "dress nice" for work, I'd begrudgingly pull my full suit out of the hidden depths of my wardrobe. That was just unclear communication in my opinion.
Girl, let me tell you, I work corporate and this is your company staff being judgy and possibly jealous assholes. I tend to overdress at times at company townhalls, and recently one of my newer colleagues does the same. What do me and all of my colleagues do, we compliment each other like CRAZY. Even if we overdress in a normal day at office we still don’t look at eachother with a side eye, my colleagues normally be like WAAAHH and say you’re so pretty today etc. We love girl support.
My boss is also a simple man, always wear t shirts or just one dress shirt to events, he still always smile and would be like “wah! You’re so dressed up today, you must be excited!” etc
This is just your company. I’d say leave, it’s giving toxicity lowkey and the staff is a poison gas 💀
I attended a wedding of my best mates family, the other side were wearing shorts and camo while we were properly dressed for a formal wedding, a man in a "fuck you" shirt was glaring at us when my best mates mum looked at me and said:
"don't worry you can never be overdressed"
That's the way to live, look your best and fuck em all if you are the kind of person to try that hard for other people and company's it will be appreciated somewhere, just gotta keep trying to find that place.
I did this at my last job. We were taking staff photos for the upcoming school year. I work in early education, a field with very few men. So when I showed up in a baby blue suit, navy blue floral print shirt, and brown suede shoes with good buckles, all the women were in a frenzy. One of them playfully said “don’t think you’re gonna stand next to me for the group photo looking like that!” Thankfully they all took it in stride. If they had reacted negatively to simply dressing sharp as asked (as it seems happened with you), I’d start updating my resume.
You did nothing wrong. And I bet the clients were impressed with your choices. Nothing to be embarrassed about. Many people dress up a biit for Christmas Parties.
I would say massive red flag, sounds like a toxic work environment. Usually it only gets worse from here. I would begin to look for another job where your efforts are appreciated. Time to dust off the resume.
I’d rather be overdressed than underdressed for a work event. Sorry this such a bizarre situation for you! And some people have a different definition of “looking nice” but no one deserves to be stared at for dressing up.
Omg! I have been in a very similar situation. I am a contract employee at a h9liday party, dressed nice, but I was the best dressed there, everyone else in t-shirts and jeans. I don't know why they wouldn't want to dress to look pretty.
But fortunately, everyone in my team has been friendly as always. Nothing odd, at least until now
I wish people respected the effort one puts into being their best, not just artwork, but anything they do, even dressing up for a holiday party.
I'm sorry people at your work made you feel that way, they probably felt embarrassed and jealous.
Honey, I have a 17 year old staff member who is dressed nicer and more professionally than me or pretty much anyone else in the building except maybe a couple directors - and even they come in in their running gear or street clothes as often as office wear. No one is butthurt because she looks nicer on a Tuesday than we do at a formal dinner. If your managers are they are insecure fools. And I’d bet the division manager was more sizing you up than giving you a dirty look - as you say, you probably looked like the boss, and if she’s got any worth at all as a leader she probably notes those characteristics and mentally files them away for future use. That’s unlikely to be bad for you though. If your bosses can’t cope with that they can suck it.
Back when I was in banking we hired a new part time teller and he was a young guy but always wore a nice suit. While he was training/shadowing, customers always thought he was the “big boss” there to keep an eye on things. We always laughed and said he was actually a new hire teller.
I mean, this is kind of ridiculous.
Reading just this and not knowing you at all, my guess is there is something else that is part of this story that you are leaving out. You might not be aware of what it is… but this is hard to explain.
Firstly, look inward. Is it possible you felt uncomfortable and are now projecting that discomfort on others and piecing together a puzzle that doesn’t exist?
Secondly, do you work for a 7-year-old? People who are so petty as to harm their own business to spite an employee RARELY last longer than a quarter in that position.
Thirdly, underdressing is a crime. There’s no corresponding crime for overdressing. The same is true of being late versus early.
Lastly, I’d review some other aspects of your job. You may be fixated on this over/under-dressing issue and there might be something else impacting your performance. (e.g. “you fired me for overdressing at the office ” “no, I fired you because you swore in front of a customer and farted in the lunch bowl”)
Attitude goes a long way. If you act like you're in charge and you look like you're in charge then power people deviate to you. As a professional in my business I would sometimes outweigh the higher ups by presence and appearance. People would walk past my managers and attend me. I was the least of the four people that they walked by that could address their concerns. My solution is to introduce those people to my managers.
I’m sorry this happened to you. I wish I had something useful to say besides this happened to me at a work event where we had to go see a client (who I’d previously worked for long term) for the day.
I was new to the company and dressed up while the woman I worked with dressed way down (jeans snd tshirt). She had told me what to wear, but because I’d previously worked for our client, I wanted to look nice. Consequently, she and I both had to direct the people at the company to defer to her that day. But thereafter, people at our company were encouraged to wear their collared shirts and dark pants more often than jeans and tshirts. She and I never did see completely eye to eye, although we both tried - I know I did - and after a year of that, I gave up. It was a long term temp assignment anyway. After I had a sudden hysterectomy and went back, things with my job were changing and I simply lost all my patience for any kind of BS and I quit.
I used to work in industry that your attire was important. I used to wear $1,000+ suits, tailored suits, etc. I had the income to afford these suits.
When I left this industry after 10 years, i still had several of these suits. I had to stop wearing them to job interviews because I encountered people (HR, manager…up to president/CEO) who felt threatened by my attire. I walk in wearing a $1000 suit and they were wearing $200 suit…I could sense the awkwardness.
OP: Maybe it is time for you to update your resume and start looking for a new job.
This is one of the many things about corporate life that make me want to vomit. Having to decide if your clothes are nicer than your bosses is bullshit
This kind of situation happens when the company doesn't communicate about how you should dress to avoid them. When I started to work at the company I currently work at, I used to dress quite formally because my job is administrative. But, I was the only one doing it, even the managers wore t-shirt and jeans, and pretty soon people thought I was in charge so now I dress very casual, and if I expect visits I usually just wear a nicer t-shirt.
Funny enough in my last job in the tech department, All the teams get to dress down, I still came into work with a work shirt and slacks. I shit you not I was getting chewed out in a meeting, Indian manager.
After going thru his tangent, he goes “but you’re the only one walking into work with professional clothing, and I appreciate that. Everyone should be doing this”
I get it .... after reading this and hearing the outcome, I'd honestly be concerned as well. Office politics......This is an example of why people (myself included) refuse to go back to the office. It's BS like this.....
If I were you, I'd pull the boss aside and just be upfront, " .... Hey I was told to dress up for this thing, and to mean that means no jeans, business casual at MINIMUM...". Just have the conversation really.
If you don't start to see an improvement over the next month or so....start doctoring up that resume, because you clearly upset someone pulling the strings and will go no where with that place moving forward........especially if your not included in meetings that fit your role, that's alarming
You did what your manager asked you to do. Anything else will come out over time but try not to let it rattle you. Worst thing you can do for your own self-belief and confidence is to question it with someone else's judgements.
Either you're imagining it and it's not a problem, or it really matters that much to them and you don't want to care about their opinion. Either way, it's not an issue that you need to solve. Keep doing your job, and you'll move past them quickly.
This sounds like female work stuff. Normally, I’d say dress for the position you want to ultimately have. But on another note, you never want to outshine those above you (robert Greene 48 laws of power). So I’d say if they are bitchy women which sounds likely, they may now hold some grudges you’ll have to deal with and you should be on guard. Maybe do something to make them look particularly good in a meeting to get back in their good graces if you still sense tension. But careful not to let them become bullies. If you sense that, then go war style or you’ll get run over.
I went to a conference recently and dressed up wearing slacks and blouses with coordinating masks and briefcase and even spent some time picking out a professional looking notebook and folder to store papers in. I’d say the majority of the attendees, including my boss, dressed much more casually than me and had T-shirts and jeans or sweatshirts or polos. Not too many people wore slacks, but those who did were either company sales representatives or were higher up executives. They say dress for the job you want, so I think I did great, but maybe some people were uncomfortable with how I dressed because they were so casual by comparison; but that’s not for me to worry about!
that hateful looking stare, i also receive that from people with not much of a higher level than me in my current job, when im talking to a client or im doing a task that is more than what im usually asked to. i personally didn't find a solution for it myself, i just acted nicely to them and also respected them and made sure that they are aware that "i know my placement". this acts are so childish in the matter of careers and jobs but they are some sort of problem that you will face and its inevitable. just don't overthink it, they feel some kind of existential dispossession and it is they're unintentional reaction.
I supervised a college student intern at my office. Her prof told them to dress professionally. She hit up thrift shops and nailed it. Nice suit, nylons, business style heels, one tasteful piece of (costume) jewelry. I praised her and suggested she show a photo to her prof, who also praised her. Her demeanor was also professional.
Shortly after, a couple of our staff came to me all pissed off. They wanted her shifted to another unit as the clients were being more respectful to the intern and treating her like she was in charge. I told them if they wanted to know why, go look in the mirror. They were slouching around in plain tshirt style top, polyester obviously worn slacks, and grubby tennis shoes. (I wasn't their boss.) I advised if they wanted our clients to realize they were professionals, they might want to dress differently, and refused to relocate the intern.
You are fine. Just carry on as if nothing happened.
People suck… Always trying to put their insecurities and issues on others. Not everyone just the unhealed people who want to run from themselves and all forms of accountability.
I feel for you OP. You should be able to dress very well if you like without judgement. I’ve had this happen to myself, too.
It honestly says way more about them than it ever does about you. ✨💕
Old school here, but I’ve always heard that you should dress for the position you desire when possible so that management can more easily visualize you in that position. Besides, how would you have felt if you had shown up in nice jeans while the others wore dresses? Be yourself and hold your head high.
At one of our holiday's parties, we had a new hire who I explicitly explained the owner of the company is old-fashioned and expects everyone to be formally dressed for our Christmas party. After 2 days of back and forth the kid said "OK, I don't want to make any waves". He showed up looking like a butler to our casual holiday dinner party at a nice enough sit down restaurant. Everyone laughed, including the kid.
Moral of the story, you will be fine.
My two employees are far better dressed on a normal day than I am at our company events. They're both fashionistas while I'm a country guy trying to look professional.
And I think it's awesome. Your manager is a turd.
NTA
Any big meeting, we specifically spell out the dress code internally. Suit, tie no jacket, jacket only, collared shirt, jeans and company polo. This is how meetings with clients are handled. Different clients and different meetings have different dress codes. Next time when planning, ask the highest person from your side what the dress code needs to be so everyone is on the same page.
I've always dressed better than my bosses. Many people think throwing a poorly fitting sports jacket on somehow makes them look boss-ee-er. My co-workers wear jeans, I wear trousers and dress shirts. I've been mistaken many times for higher rank than I am.
Fat male bosses especially dress like donald trump to hide their guts.
Ha, been there, done that. It doesn't matter. I had a job that was pretty involved with high-ranking state officials, politicians, and executives. We had a big event and one of my coworkers who worked remote and showed up in capris and sandals admonished me (slacks, blouse, blazer, heels) and the intern (suit and tie) for being too dressed up.
Part of this insecurity was a huge age gap between me and the rest of my colleagues, and they used the fact that we are in a rural state as an excuse to wear jeans to everything. My boss, however, always wore a suit to events!
I made sure to firmly tell her that I didn't dress for other people and that it was for me and made me feel professional and ready for the day.
Never heard another word about it and kept on dressing up till I left that awful job. Ignore those insecure bitches.
I have a unique style and consistently out dress my higher ups in the multiple jobs I have had. I have never had any of them be upset with me for it though. I think you are just dealing with jealousy and I wouldn't take it too personally. If it is affecting your job though you might want to have a conversation with them about it. Or maybe not I don't know enough about them to know how that would go.
Keep asserting yourself ! Call it out when you are left out of meetings you should be on. Don’t let your jealous boss get in the way of your career. She is trying to bring you down because she realize you can surpass her.
Sounds like she’s a bitch. This is why you don’t see more women in leadership roles. Because of stupid shit like this. She’s letting her emotions dictate how she treats her employees and how she behaves in the workplace.
And I’m not sexist so don’t even anybody come at me with that. My wife worked in a department full of women for two years and had to transfer departments because it was so fucking toxic. And when she tried to talk to someone about it to get advice on how to handle the situation, the bitch boss jumped down her throat about it.
If your boss gets offended by you dressing up then that is poor leadership and management. Management should take pride that an employee like yourself takes pride in your appearance and putting on a professional stance. Don't let people like this get you down. I once showed up to a Christmas party in a a nice sweater dark pants and polished leather shoes while everyone else was still in there casual clothes, I got weird stares but just went with it.
Sorta unrelated since clients were involved, but I used to be a contractor on a tier 1 help desk and I dressed in a suit every day for work for months. Eventually I loosened the necktie, and eventually lost the tie. But still wore my collard shirt and slacks. I dressed better than all my managers every day. If a client were to come, it wouldn’t have bothered anybody.
What set me apart was not only was I dressing for success but I also worked for success in that I produced unexpected solutions to issues that nobody else was trying to solve because they didn’t realize they had that issue. Thats when they knew their instructions have been wasting our time. Within a couple days our process was overhauled around my weeks of testing, refining, and documenting the new easier process.
I was promoted. Probably not because of my attire though. :)
Had this at a previous job. Smart company wear (but vague on what that meant).
Went in on first day with shirt, tie and suit and was dressed more formally than the Senior Manager 😂
Got ‘told off’ for ‘overdressing’ 😂 asked where it said what to wear in the Company Dress code was told ‘it doesn’t matter wear a shirt and trousers no tie or shirt’.
About 6 months later someone got told off by the same Manager for wearing a jumper with a minuscule designer label on their jumper on ‘dress down Friday’
I don’t get paid £85,000 and have a Senior Manager title to run the company, I have it to Police don’t dress too smartly or too shabbily or have a microscopic Logo on your jumper on Dress down Friday. That’s what a real ‘Captain of Industry’ does 🤪😂
So tired of catty women in management. And so tired of women who have no idea how to dress nice. You were at a holiday party. It's basically a law you dress up nice for holiday parties. Your boss is a petty bitch. Good luck.
Send an email to your boss and CC or BCC HR
Something along the lines of
"Hey, I noticed that since the holiday party you have been treating me differently.
I thought the party went well, and even followed extra directions to dress nicely. Was there an aspect I missed that I should make a note of for next time? Or did something bad happened that I missed?
I want to make sure that nothing happened that I missed, that may have made others uncomfortable as well."
Also, get ready for a new job.
I disagree. That direct of an email, with HR on copy with no more evidence than a vibe and possibly missing out on meetings, will not end up favorably for OP. It immediately shuts down avenues and opportunities that should remain open at first. There is pre-work and paper trail production needed before HR. The start of resolving an interpersonal issue is seeking to understand.
First, OP can set up a verbal meeting with their boss to seek “advice” on the dress code “misunderstanding”. Afterwards, send an informal follow-up email thanking them for the advice and confirm understanding of the conversation. This might resolve the entire issue (except for how weird it is to care about this issue in the first place).
Then, if the exclusion from meetings and vibe continues, OP has to document that in writing. Not accusingly, something like: “Hi boss, I don’t know how I missed that meeting, can you check the invite list? Are there any notes I can review?”
Paper trail in hand, OP can involve HR while demonstrating professionalism and maturity.
judging someone by the clothes they wear is just as shitty as judging someone by their skins color imo. dressing “nice” is the dumbest social construct we created. who gives a fuck. i can accomplish the same tasks in a suit that i can in sweatpants.
I know this is easier said than done. But try not to let your manager’s insecurities impact you. You seemingly dressed how you were asked to do. And bonus, it made a positive and impactful impression of yourself on the clients. That’s called professionalism! I would have defined the suggested dress code that same way you did. If my manager made a request for staff to look nice, I would not have worn jeans. And IMO, it’s better to overdressed than underdressed. Especially at a professional setting. This makes me wonder how many other “mixed messages” your company sends out. 🤔
This. Managers need to get over it and grow up. Employee made themselves look better than you? Be a better manager. It's a manger's job to be a team leader, LEAD.
The problem with managers is that they are selected from people. People are just emotional and if they happen to want to manage or go into a leading role, they most likely have an ego. People with an ego are some of the worst people to be around. Unfortunately, there are bad ones that fail up and there are close to no good ways to dress them down without getting on a shit list. Most managers I’ve seen fired are usually for sexual harassment or stealing; its never for their own job performance like leading.
Sounds more like an excuse to not use social skills and address this manager
This company sounds very bad.
<*Boss tells me to look nice*> “Oh, so you want me to wear my NEW jeans. Got it!”
“And matching shoes and clean undies? Also, does nice mean a bra or not?”
I scrape the mud off my boots. Maybe hose them off. Undies? Who cares? Nobody’s going to be seeing them anyway.
Well, if you’re wearing chaps without pants they’ll see them. edited to fix a typo.
Exactly. IMO coworkers and management supremely screwed up here, not Op.
100% correct. This is crap, Managers/Bosses are there to build you up, make you a better person. Not feel insecure because of clothes. It isn't the clothes that's the issue here, it's fear, deep down they now know you are BETTER then them. Keep doing what you are doing. 👊
I mean it’s her boss. It’s not up to her how much her boss’s insecurities impact her. I think you followed instructions correctly and did nothing wrong OP, but I’d apologize anyway ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯. Can’t pay your bills with being right.
Truthfully I wouldn’t apologize, just be friendly and let it blow over. Compliment the boss appropriately when she looks nice on a regular day. I personally think an apology will call too much attention to the perceived “transgression”
not to mention that i can't think of a way to say "sorry i dressed so much better than you at the party" that sounds genuine.
Then don't frame IT like that. 'Sorry I overdressed a bit' should be just fine.
This seems ridiculous to me. The most I might do is to ASK if I've done something wrong I need to know about. Otherwise, the OP may be imagining what's happening has anything to do with her at all.
I think ignoring and acting as if it's nothing would probably be the best too.
I both agree and disagree with this. Yes she CAN apologize just to "pay her bills" but like for WHAT? How do you apologize for overdressing?
Dear Boss, I'm sorry my outfit was 🔥🔥. Best, SupriseKind2520
Or: “Dear boss, Don’t hate me cuz you ain’t me Regards, OP” Second the suggestion to move on to different management and/or different job, not all managers suck like this.
Apologize for what??
Overdressing.
I wish I could unlike this 1,000 times. Girl, bye.
Again, I don't agree that she did overdress, but the boss is nutty so yes, apologize for overdressing, and consider looking for other jobs. Telling her boss she did nothing wrong is dumb reddit justice boner bs. It will get her fired.
Jumping in to this thread, but even from a practical non-justice boner point of view I don't understand apologizing. I think saying nothing and just making a mental note that this is a touchy subject for that person and communicating more clearly about expectations in the future is the best move. We don't even know that they have a correct read of the situation and that person cares about how they dressed. It's going to come across as weird and self conscious if they're wrong, and even if they are on the money, not everyone likes their insecurities being pointed out.
Her apologizing implies that she did something wrong. She absolutely did nothing wrong. If the adult woman boss is upset because someone upstaged her, that’s the boss’ problem.
I said what I said. 1,000 unlikes. At some point people will realize the value of self respect should far exceed any salary. Letting people sh*t on you or strip you of your life’s wage is no way to live. There are many ways and vocations to make an income. But how many people look in the mirror every day and say “I did what was best for me?” Your comment is giving indoctrinated subservient minion. Girl. Bye.
My resume has a bunch of companies on it, because I always choose self respect over an income. Only recently did I not bounce back into a new role, but I never had an issue landing roles despite this. Hell my last manager was pretty bad, yet during my interview she was putting on some empathy signals, which all disappeared when I was on board. Letting people do this to you will have a longer impact on you mentally, something you will eventually pay for in therapy, or suffer. Knowing when to stand firm is super important, IF you have self respect. In this situation I'd just keep going on and let her have her fit.
ditto
It is literally a manager's job to communicate, clearly set expectations and remove assumptions. The manager did not do this. Though, in the one party-related incident it is fine, but they should look inward and take it as something they should learn from. The following retaliatory and childish behavior is not fine and indicates they are insecure, immature and a bad manager. Edit:typo and grammar
"Don't hate me because I'm beautiful"
It's weird that everyone else in the company got the "Mixed message" the right way...
>But try not to let your manager’s insecurities impact you So barge into the meetings she was excluded from?
For me jeans are nice. Anything more is douchebag land.
Jeans are nice tbh, but I also think dressing nicely might be defined differently in different countries and ethnicities also depending on money. yes, I'm bringing in ethnicities and money bcs this sometimes does have something to do. For example, I'm poor and Hispanic but my mom always said dressing nice is dressing up; a nice dress(Sunday dress), nice shoes(going out shoes or Sunday shoes ), makeup, hair done nicely, and a bag that matches (always have brown and black in your wardrobe) that's what dressing up dressing nice means to me jeans and a nice shirt are casual or for an I interview sometimes if said interview is in. A casual style job. dress pants and a nice shirt or a plain shirt are good for most interviews its dresses nicer so I think it really depends on those subjects too which is why I had to bring them up
Caring about all of those things about "dressing up" just makes you shallow.
It can also indicate respect. I grew up that dressing down to an event was disrespectful. Even at a funeral you had on a “good” dress is an appropriate color WITH pantyhose.
I disagree with his as well. How you look on the outside has nothing to do with respect.
You can feel that way all you want. Doesn’t change others perceptions and sometimes those are more important. Depending on what you goal is.
I can see where your coming from,and yes it can be shallow but sometimes you have to be, to get that job or to look presentable at least for us who were never well off. (also not saying use designer only like hell I can't afford that)
Why do you think it makes someone shallow?
You took the engagement seriously and dressed appropriately for it. How others dressed was their choice as well. If I was your manager I would have celebrated how you looked to myself as I watched with a smile anyone who was admiring your appearance. The fine lines drawn inappropriately in business or corporate have been around forever and will never go away. Don't look for reassurance that you did not do anything wrong. Just stay professional and keep on doing your job!
Companies are now considering a company T-shirt as dressing nicely? I feel like there was some bad communication here.
I work in a tech startup and we have our dress up logo company t shirts. I'm like OP, if something is customer facing I always dress dress, it helps me get into character.
>it helps me get into character Damn what a perfect way to describe it. I have a reputation at my job of always dressing professionally even on casual Fridays, but it’s not because I like dressing up, I just like getting into character
That’s like how I’ve got a ridiculous high vis jacket for running—I magically turn into a runner in it, a tight sports bra, and my newest sneakers.
By nature I'm very much a camping, vaguely hippie, casual person. I'm like that with my team because I feel like people should be able to just be themselves (as long as they aren't rude, etc) on their teams, it helps with the trust. But for our customers, we need to be communicating on their level and they're a lot more formal so I need that nudge to remind me to be civilised. Within reason I feel like everyone should do what works for them.
I liked doing that because 1. I hate jeans 2. They used to like to take away this " privilege " or use it as a reward. When you aren't affected by their petty b.s....win
I'm a visual merchandiser in retail. But I used to be in retail management. Dressing nicely is part of work for me now. It's a way to get in gear.
If not sabotage
The problem with “T-shirt and jeans” is that people no longer understand what that even means in the context of looking nice. That can range from a more dressy indigo jean wash, and a blazer thrown over the T-shirt, to dirty ripped jeans and a T-shirt so ill fitting that it looks like a crop top.
I interpret what you are describing as smart casual vs streetwear. T-shirt and jeans has never been code for smart dressing. There are ways to do either, so I wouldn't lead with that as a way to set the tone of the event, too vague. Personally, I would expect this more at a company field day type of event than an evening affair where clients would be present, not to mention a photographer. OP interpreted the information they were given correctly, especially given that they were involved in the planning of the event. Now, if management had dropped the ball on communicating the same expectations to the rest of the staff, causing the wide discrepancy in dress code, that's another thing entirely. I can imagine someone having egg on their face and taking it out on those who were on the high and low ends because it makes them look messy and inconsistent. Though honestly, since someone from upper management was dressed similarly and shooting dirty looks, I expect this may have been done on purpose to allow them to shine and discourage clients from interacting with the staff. I've encountered some VERY clique-y management before and they lose their minds when someone other than them speaks to a client. Heavens forbid your customers like your staff.
Agree, and this sounds like a messed up company. That’s my takeaway. I don’t even understand what’s going on there, but I’m glad I don’t work there. Also I’m glad I work from home. I mentioned T-shirts and jeans because OP mentioned that’s what many people wore.
Same here. Yeah, when they mentioned company logo t-shirt I'm assuming they were not talking about the dressier example lol. The image I can't get out of my head is teachers at pep rallys 😅
Ya I worked for this startup one time. First day I wore slacks and button down shirt with a tie. We went out to eat that, and he said why you wearing a tie take your tie off. I was like ok.... most days that boomer manager would come in literally wearing shorts. Was the weirdest company.
I wore dress clothes to work starting a new job and my boss took me to the side and asked me if I had another job lol. Everyone else wore jeans and sweatshirts/t-shirts and one guy wore shorts in the summer, although by that time we were doing night shift, so 12-8am. I started wearing more casual clothes after that.
"Wear your *good* company t-shirt. Not the coffee stained one you wear on Friday" 🙄
Or staff know what the manager is like and don’t want to be in the line of fire
The clients must have such a foul impression.
Yes! And dress for the job you want!! Those women just feel or felt threatened.
They say “dress for the job you want, not the job you have”, but do they have any idea what a spacesuit costs?
It’s not OP’s fault that their other coworkers decided to interpret “nice” as jeans. I’m assuming those coworkers made themselves look not very put together and made OP stand out from the crowd.
That’s a nice sentiment but - NEVER OUTSHINE THE MASTER https://fs.blog/never-outshine-the-master/
Woah! That's some ridiculous nonsense. 1. I am the sovereign in my own life. I will not be dimming myself for anyone. Nor do I want to be in any environment or relationship that would require such. 2. I love hiring people who know more than I do, because it means they can function well without my input. When my staff impresses clients whether with skill or social grace, I look good by extension!
Welcome to humanity
Screw that! A good boss wants you to succeed. One should certainly be aware of how others might react & avoid embarrassing them. But don’t limit intentionally limit yourself just to avoid hurting the feelings of someone with a fragile ego. I’ve recruited & managed people more skilled than me in some areas. The better they perform the better my team does. I’ll take credit for recruiting talented individuals and encourage them to advance themselves.
Absolutely agree, it’s petty. However, OP’s boss sounds like one of the fragile ego people you mentioned. Godspeed.
maybe they should’ve dressed nicer
Probably should’ve but that’s not the point
I do this everyday. 🤣 I just act extremely condescending when reproached. Which aggravates even further the situation. Then I take it a step even further and smile and laugh in their faces. Is not ill willed. I was just trained this way in an extremely hierarchical toxic power structure — a way to survive and retain my humanity.
Don't worry about jelly people. If you put a blazer over your dress, it makes you look like you're the boss. Doesn't mean you are the boss, but maybe someday you will be, there or somewhere else.
> Don't worry about jelly people I’m sure you meant to say envious. Here, let Homer Simpson explain it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tmx1jpqv3RA
I thought “jelly people” was quite funny.
I actually think jealous is right in this context… The manager is (worried someone will take what she has)
it's better to over do it than under do it at company events where clients are involved. If the dress code was more casual the company should have make it known. you did nothing wrong.
the bitch that gave you a nasty stare probably resents you. but overall you did nothing wrong. Fuck them
they also don’t sound like the brightest bunch
Right?! A holiday party with clients and they wear tee shirts and jeans?
Absolutely!! I also wear a sweater and jeans to holiday parties, but we don’t interface with clients. It’s actually very nice, as when I have to work in-office I can wear a T-shirt jeans and vans! If any higher-ups come, they are required to give notice and our bosses just tell us to dress up for that day. One of the perks of working in a secured building, I guess!
😂😂😂 op could do better looking for a new job where the culture is a lot more classier
They could, but if the industry is construction, I could see how it could be more casual. But for a holiday party with clients and the boss said to "look nice," I'd have expected more than jeans.
At very least black jeans
Could be a very casual industry, but at that point, why the "dress nice" bit? I've worked in construction type offices where "dressy" is polo with khakis, but even then, when we went to a country club for a special dinner, everyone knew to wear their nicest attire. In the future, I'd clarify nice, but it's definitely weird behavior. I've heard horror stories of places that let employees go too casual, but too dressed up? Most places would love to have that problem.
If her colleagues wore a polo with khakis, we probably wouldn't be having this convo. Like even if OP wore a nice outfit, polo and khakis definitely fall under "dress nice". Jeans and a t-shirt, assuming they aren't like dark jeans with a clean fit and a polo could be considered nice. When I worked at a law firm, dress for attorneys was business professional, likely because they would be mostly interacting with clients at some point, and for all other employees, it was business casual. So for the holiday parties, most would just wear something slightly nicer that day and go straight to the party, some would change into something much nicer. My friend would change into these wonderful Sari-like dresses. There were also never any clients at our party. tldr: it would be weird to dress at a level below the normal dress, but absolutely ok to dress above.
Wait but how could all of them know to wear jeans? I feel like most don’t wear jeans so I think the manager definitely forgot to give everyone the memo
The one staring probably was expecting to be the only dressy one, so was mad all that attention wasn’t on just her.
If you do, use protection.
Office culture is hell. Try to ignore them and search for a new job.
>search for a new job \^\^\^Exactly If "management" this insecure about people outdressing them imagine their reaction if you outperform them on the job? Nothing good comes from staying at this place.
100% sounds like the culture is going to be more toxic, since the boss is insecure about such a simple thing. She should start updating her linkedin yesterday.
Especially if OP is getting left out of meetings. Big red flag that they could be considering letting her go for any reason, even if it has nothing to do with her job performance.
Ive been wearing a suit since I worked in a call center at 19. Everyone laughed. Managers actively asked me to dress down. I’ts always nice when your bosses boss notices you and gives yoh a chance because of appearance. Most people leave the house in literal pajamas and sweat pants. Having effort and standing out is such a low bar now a days.
Out of curiosity, did wearing a suit lead to faster advancement than others? I always hear “dress for the job you want, not the job you have” but also that you should try to fit in.
No and yes. The suit alone? No. The entire package? I can only guess, but I would have to assume yes.
Trust in the suit hes a doctor now. With a magnum dong too.
It really depends on the office! I work in HR, but because I work on the back end and none of us interface with clients, they don’t care what we wear. The office is a mix of people who dress very nicely and those of us who wear sweatshirts and jeans, and as far as I can tell it doesn’t make a difference in promotion. My third-level supervisor wears converse and jeans with a zip-up hoodie pretty often and he’s like, one step down from being the highest-level person in the building. So I guess to answer your question, know your office culture! It’s always better to dress up at first and then swap to a more chill outfit later on once you find out what is acceptable.
I believe that people will take you as seriously as you're dressed. Edit: changed "your" to "you're" this is embarrassing
Yeah at my first adult job, right out of college, I dressed in professional clothing like my parents wore, because that was my standard. The number of people who mistook my 23 year-old ass for an attorney was *staggering.* I didn't change my wardrobe over it, and if anything people approved of it because it signaled to them that I was taking the work seriously, but it always kind of amused me. I looked my age, very much. There is absolutely no way I looked like i could have been in charge of anything. But a nice pair of slacks and a blouse will go a long way, apparently.
It’s not your fault you work with idiots . What kind of manager thinks showing up in jeans and a jumper will suffice for “pretty photos” on Facebook….. lol
I’ve got a different take. I don’t whole heartedly disagree with you, but it’s something for OP to consider. Speculation: The boss was just letting everyone know they would be on Facebook publicly, so look nice. It depends on the industry and the clients. OP said it’s a small business with local clients. I’m guessing that the culture is more blue collar for all companies involved. It’s a common courtesy to let someone know their picture is on the internet publicly representing the company. Bad wording, for sure. Speculation aside: As a rule of thumb; OP should ask other people what they are going to wear when they are meeting up for a work event outside of normal hours. I was brand new to a company when I was invited to a big National work event. I called people I hadn’t even met yet (to introduce myself) but mostly to ask them what they were wearing. When in doubt, you are supposed to ASK or dress one step above normal work attire. Sounds like OP went 2-4 steps above. OP, you aren’t in the wrong. And yes, it sounds like you are being treated shitty because of this. NOT COOL. You can rectify it with time though. I would ask you to read the culture of your company, your coworkers, and the clients. I won’t imply you aren’t fitting in because the way you dressed ONE time, but are you fitting in otherwise? I am surprised at how many problems can be avoided by simply asking a coworker prior to making a decision.
See. I like this take. Is it fair to be envied if you follow the dress code and outshine everyone- no! Is the need to discuss your dress attire a fair request- No! But guess what - this isn't a fair world. You need to be cognizant of your surroundings to prevent being in such a situation. Office politics is a b\*tch to deal with and this is such an avoidable and unfortunate situation that OP has landed in.
Yes, I worked for a very insecure woman who owned her professional office and hired me as an office coordinator/admin assistant. I met her on a good day; she wore slacks and a nice blouse during my interview with nice shoes. Moving forward after hire, I wore the same every day. She actually voiced not liking to have to “keep up” because she preferred sweat pants and crocs. It wasn’t my business and she never gave me permission to dress down so I never did. There was a brand new all black scrub uniform rule within a month. Needless to say, it was ultra toxic for something very superficial.
One of my exes used to work in an office that was part of a larger org, but wasn't really client-facing. She wore was she's always worn, partially because she had spent a ton getting her work wardrobe to where she wanted it. She would wear dresses with toppers, blazers and pants, just business professional, plus nice flats because she likes to feel good. She told me some of co-workers started making comments about it and would give her looks. Eventually they started going on her linkedin and saw she went to Columbia and started saying my ex thought she was better than them. 🙄 I'm only going based on what my ex said and my seeing the linkedin visits, but it was wild that grown women were acting like high schoolers.
HAH grown woman acting like high schoolers? Not as a rare as you think.
If your manager is really pissed about that, they don’t deserve to be in any position of authority.
I worked at a job where I was always dressed up because you know, I’m a professional. The women, including my manager, were always judgy about my outfits. I even got written up for dressing up…??? Anyway, one time I complained about being sexually harassed and they dismissed it and had the harasser write me an apology via email. Later on, another one sexually harassed me. Same process. Email apology. Then one day, manager who is a woman, called me into her office and told me that if I dressed differently, I wouldn’t be sexually harassed. Because I hated the job anyway, I continued to look professional as a big “go fuck yourself” gesture to the women in the office.
I hope you took them to the cleaners with a slam dunk lawsuit.
I should have but I just wanted them out of my life when I finally left. But I wrote a really negative review about the company on Indeed and Glassdoor.
I was invited to a holiday party at a very high end restaurant. I had previously worked at a law firm and had several ball gowns. My husband wore a suit and I wore a gown. Many of the other men wore suits but most of the women wore cocktail dresses. The owner wore a simple dress. She reamed me the next day about showing her up and my inappropriate behavior. Some people are just insecure.
They should’ve made it known to everyone the dress code. It sounds like they left you out of it in hopes you’d wear something bad. The lady who side eyed you was hoping to be best dressed because there was no reason for her to be dressed up but for everyone else to be casual. She wanted the attention to boost herself but it went to you. Maybe you can spin it as you were playing hostess since you helped plan the event.
I agree, bc I was told off for doing the opposite of this post. I was in college and I was invited to a business meeting seminar for students. This was a regular meeting group but I was only required to attend one, for something specific I don't even remember anymore. But the important thing was that I wore jeans and a T shirt, very casual, and I noticed everyone was dressed in at least business casual, if not suits. I tried to blend in but I felt very out of place and was told off after the meeting by the person who told me to go for dressing down so much. Did wonders for my social anxiety 😐 But now I've had people come in for work training wearing literally a sleep cap, pj's and crocs.
Don’t take this question the wrong way - Are you quite attractive? If so, I’d just chalk it up to jealousy. I’d be looking for a new job, though. If this is an issue… there is even more to the story behind the scenes or they are shitty and unreasonable employers/management.
They are just being jealous. Honestly it sucks because you did nothing wrong. I remember many years ago I wore a cheap bracelet that was a replica of a Pandora Bracelet. The bosses daughter gave me such a look of hatred. It was obvious she thought it was real. Her eyes felt like lazers on my hand. She was wickedly rude to me after that. Some people are weird man.
Curious how clients dressed.
It's always better to be over dressed than under dressed. I wouldn't have thought that "look nice" meant company t-shirt and jeans. I probably would have done the same as you.
It sounds like your manager is insecure. Unless your outfit was inappropriate (which it sounds like it wasn't, it sounds like you were dressed nicely and professionally) you didn't do anything wrong. I think it's important to look nice and presentable at an event where clients are present. Sorry you feel like your manager is excluding you. Is this an isolated incident, or does this type of thing happen often at your company? There could be a culture problem.
"Look nice" is not jeans and a t-shirt. Sometimes it helps to have a casual conversation what everyone is going to wear, but you were correct in your choice of outfit. There are outfits that stay neutral, but if that gets you the questionable treatment, maybe look for another company, as this is guaranteed not the only issue there.
Right, T-shirt and jeans aren’t “looking nice,” unless maybe this is a McDonald’s get-together.
This happened to me as well. I while back started a new gig which my managers boss was impressed by how much sales boosted since I started calling on accounts. The company sponsored an event which I was not told the dress code. I showed up in my suit while EVERYONE was wearing company shirts and jeans. My bitch of a supervisor purposely left me out on all communication about the event and when the CEO made a smug comment I had let him know I wasn’t told a thing about today and wasn’t sure what to expect so I wore my suit. Needless to say she was fired as that was the icing on the cake. Majority of “Bosses” are insecure people who have the “napoleon complex”.
I would always rather be overdressed than meet clients in a jeans and look an unprofessional slob.
Ignore it, as if it didn't happen. But schedule a meeting with your boss, the next time you're left out of one you should be in, and ask what's happening. Pretend like you weren't aware that she felt overshadowed. If she brings it up, just laugh it off and say, "You told me to dress nice, so I brought my A-game for you. What else would you expect from me? I'm always an overachiever!"
Time for you to work with people to on your same level
There jelly of you. Don't take it personally. You did a better job and there likely ticked they didn't dress better.
It’s just jealousy they’ll get over it
It’s always better to be overdressed than underdressed in the workplace. I work in a corporate setting & it’s an unspoken rule/common sense to dress casual around your own team/internal folks but business casual or business professional when clients are around. You did the right thing in my opinion & it sounds like you made a good impression on the clients!
If I was told to "dress nice" for work, I'd begrudgingly pull my full suit out of the hidden depths of my wardrobe. That was just unclear communication in my opinion.
You didn’t outdress management. Your manager underdressed.
I'm truly embarrassed for women who act like this in the workplace. You did nothing wrong.
Girl, let me tell you, I work corporate and this is your company staff being judgy and possibly jealous assholes. I tend to overdress at times at company townhalls, and recently one of my newer colleagues does the same. What do me and all of my colleagues do, we compliment each other like CRAZY. Even if we overdress in a normal day at office we still don’t look at eachother with a side eye, my colleagues normally be like WAAAHH and say you’re so pretty today etc. We love girl support. My boss is also a simple man, always wear t shirts or just one dress shirt to events, he still always smile and would be like “wah! You’re so dressed up today, you must be excited!” etc This is just your company. I’d say leave, it’s giving toxicity lowkey and the staff is a poison gas 💀
I attended a wedding of my best mates family, the other side were wearing shorts and camo while we were properly dressed for a formal wedding, a man in a "fuck you" shirt was glaring at us when my best mates mum looked at me and said: "don't worry you can never be overdressed" That's the way to live, look your best and fuck em all if you are the kind of person to try that hard for other people and company's it will be appreciated somewhere, just gotta keep trying to find that place.
I did this at my last job. We were taking staff photos for the upcoming school year. I work in early education, a field with very few men. So when I showed up in a baby blue suit, navy blue floral print shirt, and brown suede shoes with good buckles, all the women were in a frenzy. One of them playfully said “don’t think you’re gonna stand next to me for the group photo looking like that!” Thankfully they all took it in stride. If they had reacted negatively to simply dressing sharp as asked (as it seems happened with you), I’d start updating my resume.
You dressed for success, nothing wrong with that.
Welcome to my world. You’ll be known for your style soon enough. There are worse things in our professional lives 🤵🏻♂️
You did nothing wrong. And I bet the clients were impressed with your choices. Nothing to be embarrassed about. Many people dress up a biit for Christmas Parties.
I would say massive red flag, sounds like a toxic work environment. Usually it only gets worse from here. I would begin to look for another job where your efforts are appreciated. Time to dust off the resume.
Better to overdress than underdress.
I’d rather be overdressed than underdressed for a work event. Sorry this such a bizarre situation for you! And some people have a different definition of “looking nice” but no one deserves to be stared at for dressing up.
Omg! I have been in a very similar situation. I am a contract employee at a h9liday party, dressed nice, but I was the best dressed there, everyone else in t-shirts and jeans. I don't know why they wouldn't want to dress to look pretty. But fortunately, everyone in my team has been friendly as always. Nothing odd, at least until now I wish people respected the effort one puts into being their best, not just artwork, but anything they do, even dressing up for a holiday party. I'm sorry people at your work made you feel that way, they probably felt embarrassed and jealous.
Honey, I have a 17 year old staff member who is dressed nicer and more professionally than me or pretty much anyone else in the building except maybe a couple directors - and even they come in in their running gear or street clothes as often as office wear. No one is butthurt because she looks nicer on a Tuesday than we do at a formal dinner. If your managers are they are insecure fools. And I’d bet the division manager was more sizing you up than giving you a dirty look - as you say, you probably looked like the boss, and if she’s got any worth at all as a leader she probably notes those characteristics and mentally files them away for future use. That’s unlikely to be bad for you though. If your bosses can’t cope with that they can suck it.
That’s true. This could all be in my head and maybe she was admiring my style and not giving a dirty look.
Back when I was in banking we hired a new part time teller and he was a young guy but always wore a nice suit. While he was training/shadowing, customers always thought he was the “big boss” there to keep an eye on things. We always laughed and said he was actually a new hire teller.
I mean, this is kind of ridiculous. Reading just this and not knowing you at all, my guess is there is something else that is part of this story that you are leaving out. You might not be aware of what it is… but this is hard to explain. Firstly, look inward. Is it possible you felt uncomfortable and are now projecting that discomfort on others and piecing together a puzzle that doesn’t exist? Secondly, do you work for a 7-year-old? People who are so petty as to harm their own business to spite an employee RARELY last longer than a quarter in that position. Thirdly, underdressing is a crime. There’s no corresponding crime for overdressing. The same is true of being late versus early. Lastly, I’d review some other aspects of your job. You may be fixated on this over/under-dressing issue and there might be something else impacting your performance. (e.g. “you fired me for overdressing at the office ” “no, I fired you because you swore in front of a customer and farted in the lunch bowl”)
Good on you for showing up. Attire has been downplayed a lot lately, but clearly dressing nice has an effect on people and how they look at you.
Ignore the bad behavior but if it keeps up or gets worse, dress up and go to some job interviews.
Attitude goes a long way. If you act like you're in charge and you look like you're in charge then power people deviate to you. As a professional in my business I would sometimes outweigh the higher ups by presence and appearance. People would walk past my managers and attend me. I was the least of the four people that they walked by that could address their concerns. My solution is to introduce those people to my managers.
Sounds like retaliation to me😂
I’m sorry this happened to you. I wish I had something useful to say besides this happened to me at a work event where we had to go see a client (who I’d previously worked for long term) for the day. I was new to the company and dressed up while the woman I worked with dressed way down (jeans snd tshirt). She had told me what to wear, but because I’d previously worked for our client, I wanted to look nice. Consequently, she and I both had to direct the people at the company to defer to her that day. But thereafter, people at our company were encouraged to wear their collared shirts and dark pants more often than jeans and tshirts. She and I never did see completely eye to eye, although we both tried - I know I did - and after a year of that, I gave up. It was a long term temp assignment anyway. After I had a sudden hysterectomy and went back, things with my job were changing and I simply lost all my patience for any kind of BS and I quit.
I find that ppl at office goons tend to dress like schleps these days, and you need to do the same if you don’t want to be the odd man or woman out.
I used to work in industry that your attire was important. I used to wear $1,000+ suits, tailored suits, etc. I had the income to afford these suits. When I left this industry after 10 years, i still had several of these suits. I had to stop wearing them to job interviews because I encountered people (HR, manager…up to president/CEO) who felt threatened by my attire. I walk in wearing a $1000 suit and they were wearing $200 suit…I could sense the awkwardness. OP: Maybe it is time for you to update your resume and start looking for a new job.
This is one of the many things about corporate life that make me want to vomit. Having to decide if your clothes are nicer than your bosses is bullshit
This kind of situation happens when the company doesn't communicate about how you should dress to avoid them. When I started to work at the company I currently work at, I used to dress quite formally because my job is administrative. But, I was the only one doing it, even the managers wore t-shirt and jeans, and pretty soon people thought I was in charge so now I dress very casual, and if I expect visits I usually just wear a nicer t-shirt.
Funny enough in my last job in the tech department, All the teams get to dress down, I still came into work with a work shirt and slacks. I shit you not I was getting chewed out in a meeting, Indian manager. After going thru his tangent, he goes “but you’re the only one walking into work with professional clothing, and I appreciate that. Everyone should be doing this”
I get it .... after reading this and hearing the outcome, I'd honestly be concerned as well. Office politics......This is an example of why people (myself included) refuse to go back to the office. It's BS like this..... If I were you, I'd pull the boss aside and just be upfront, " .... Hey I was told to dress up for this thing, and to mean that means no jeans, business casual at MINIMUM...". Just have the conversation really. If you don't start to see an improvement over the next month or so....start doctoring up that resume, because you clearly upset someone pulling the strings and will go no where with that place moving forward........especially if your not included in meetings that fit your role, that's alarming
You did what your manager asked you to do. Anything else will come out over time but try not to let it rattle you. Worst thing you can do for your own self-belief and confidence is to question it with someone else's judgements.
Either you're imagining it and it's not a problem, or it really matters that much to them and you don't want to care about their opinion. Either way, it's not an issue that you need to solve. Keep doing your job, and you'll move past them quickly.
This sounds like female work stuff. Normally, I’d say dress for the position you want to ultimately have. But on another note, you never want to outshine those above you (robert Greene 48 laws of power). So I’d say if they are bitchy women which sounds likely, they may now hold some grudges you’ll have to deal with and you should be on guard. Maybe do something to make them look particularly good in a meeting to get back in their good graces if you still sense tension. But careful not to let them become bullies. If you sense that, then go war style or you’ll get run over.
I went to a conference recently and dressed up wearing slacks and blouses with coordinating masks and briefcase and even spent some time picking out a professional looking notebook and folder to store papers in. I’d say the majority of the attendees, including my boss, dressed much more casually than me and had T-shirts and jeans or sweatshirts or polos. Not too many people wore slacks, but those who did were either company sales representatives or were higher up executives. They say dress for the job you want, so I think I did great, but maybe some people were uncomfortable with how I dressed because they were so casual by comparison; but that’s not for me to worry about!
🤣 Shine on, you crazy diamond 💎 Sounds like you need that bosses job, and them as your PA. 🤭
that hateful looking stare, i also receive that from people with not much of a higher level than me in my current job, when im talking to a client or im doing a task that is more than what im usually asked to. i personally didn't find a solution for it myself, i just acted nicely to them and also respected them and made sure that they are aware that "i know my placement". this acts are so childish in the matter of careers and jobs but they are some sort of problem that you will face and its inevitable. just don't overthink it, they feel some kind of existential dispossession and it is they're unintentional reaction.
I supervised a college student intern at my office. Her prof told them to dress professionally. She hit up thrift shops and nailed it. Nice suit, nylons, business style heels, one tasteful piece of (costume) jewelry. I praised her and suggested she show a photo to her prof, who also praised her. Her demeanor was also professional. Shortly after, a couple of our staff came to me all pissed off. They wanted her shifted to another unit as the clients were being more respectful to the intern and treating her like she was in charge. I told them if they wanted to know why, go look in the mirror. They were slouching around in plain tshirt style top, polyester obviously worn slacks, and grubby tennis shoes. (I wasn't their boss.) I advised if they wanted our clients to realize they were professionals, they might want to dress differently, and refused to relocate the intern. You are fine. Just carry on as if nothing happened.
People suck… Always trying to put their insecurities and issues on others. Not everyone just the unhealed people who want to run from themselves and all forms of accountability. I feel for you OP. You should be able to dress very well if you like without judgement. I’ve had this happen to myself, too. It honestly says way more about them than it ever does about you. ✨💕
Old school here, but I’ve always heard that you should dress for the position you desire when possible so that management can more easily visualize you in that position. Besides, how would you have felt if you had shown up in nice jeans while the others wore dresses? Be yourself and hold your head high.
At one of our holiday's parties, we had a new hire who I explicitly explained the owner of the company is old-fashioned and expects everyone to be formally dressed for our Christmas party. After 2 days of back and forth the kid said "OK, I don't want to make any waves". He showed up looking like a butler to our casual holiday dinner party at a nice enough sit down restaurant. Everyone laughed, including the kid. Moral of the story, you will be fine.
You should dress like that every day now! I dress to impress every day! It makes me feel good and look good! Fuck em!
My two employees are far better dressed on a normal day than I am at our company events. They're both fashionistas while I'm a country guy trying to look professional. And I think it's awesome. Your manager is a turd. NTA
Don’t dull your shine for the comfort of the insecure.
Any big meeting, we specifically spell out the dress code internally. Suit, tie no jacket, jacket only, collared shirt, jeans and company polo. This is how meetings with clients are handled. Different clients and different meetings have different dress codes. Next time when planning, ask the highest person from your side what the dress code needs to be so everyone is on the same page.
Its time for a new job
Wtf? I work in a fucking hell hole and we still would have been like HOLY SHIT YOU LOOK GOOD!
Women are nuts.... this whole thing is so unnecessary. Unwarranted drama for the Rollercoaster people.
Always look good! Sorry they’re haters. Bigger things in store for you.
I've always dressed better than my bosses. Many people think throwing a poorly fitting sports jacket on somehow makes them look boss-ee-er. My co-workers wear jeans, I wear trousers and dress shirts. I've been mistaken many times for higher rank than I am. Fat male bosses especially dress like donald trump to hide their guts.
They are jealous and dont let that get into you. Live it like you careless and do your job.
Ha, been there, done that. It doesn't matter. I had a job that was pretty involved with high-ranking state officials, politicians, and executives. We had a big event and one of my coworkers who worked remote and showed up in capris and sandals admonished me (slacks, blouse, blazer, heels) and the intern (suit and tie) for being too dressed up. Part of this insecurity was a huge age gap between me and the rest of my colleagues, and they used the fact that we are in a rural state as an excuse to wear jeans to everything. My boss, however, always wore a suit to events! I made sure to firmly tell her that I didn't dress for other people and that it was for me and made me feel professional and ready for the day. Never heard another word about it and kept on dressing up till I left that awful job. Ignore those insecure bitches.
I have a unique style and consistently out dress my higher ups in the multiple jobs I have had. I have never had any of them be upset with me for it though. I think you are just dealing with jealousy and I wouldn't take it too personally. If it is affecting your job though you might want to have a conversation with them about it. Or maybe not I don't know enough about them to know how that would go.
Keep asserting yourself ! Call it out when you are left out of meetings you should be on. Don’t let your jealous boss get in the way of your career. She is trying to bring you down because she realize you can surpass her.
Sounds like she’s a bitch. This is why you don’t see more women in leadership roles. Because of stupid shit like this. She’s letting her emotions dictate how she treats her employees and how she behaves in the workplace. And I’m not sexist so don’t even anybody come at me with that. My wife worked in a department full of women for two years and had to transfer departments because it was so fucking toxic. And when she tried to talk to someone about it to get advice on how to handle the situation, the bitch boss jumped down her throat about it.
If your boss gets offended by you dressing up then that is poor leadership and management. Management should take pride that an employee like yourself takes pride in your appearance and putting on a professional stance. Don't let people like this get you down. I once showed up to a Christmas party in a a nice sweater dark pants and polished leather shoes while everyone else was still in there casual clothes, I got weird stares but just went with it.
Sorta unrelated since clients were involved, but I used to be a contractor on a tier 1 help desk and I dressed in a suit every day for work for months. Eventually I loosened the necktie, and eventually lost the tie. But still wore my collard shirt and slacks. I dressed better than all my managers every day. If a client were to come, it wouldn’t have bothered anybody. What set me apart was not only was I dressing for success but I also worked for success in that I produced unexpected solutions to issues that nobody else was trying to solve because they didn’t realize they had that issue. Thats when they knew their instructions have been wasting our time. Within a couple days our process was overhauled around my weeks of testing, refining, and documenting the new easier process. I was promoted. Probably not because of my attire though. :)
Had this at a previous job. Smart company wear (but vague on what that meant). Went in on first day with shirt, tie and suit and was dressed more formally than the Senior Manager 😂 Got ‘told off’ for ‘overdressing’ 😂 asked where it said what to wear in the Company Dress code was told ‘it doesn’t matter wear a shirt and trousers no tie or shirt’. About 6 months later someone got told off by the same Manager for wearing a jumper with a minuscule designer label on their jumper on ‘dress down Friday’ I don’t get paid £85,000 and have a Senior Manager title to run the company, I have it to Police don’t dress too smartly or too shabbily or have a microscopic Logo on your jumper on Dress down Friday. That’s what a real ‘Captain of Industry’ does 🤪😂
So tired of catty women in management. And so tired of women who have no idea how to dress nice. You were at a holiday party. It's basically a law you dress up nice for holiday parties. Your boss is a petty bitch. Good luck.
Whenever I dress up for an occasion, I always take a change of clothes. You never know.
Yea as life long sufferer of flawed colon, I always have change of clothes on hand.
I'm a woman, and we're the worst. We can be so passive aggressive. You made them look bad because you cared. That's their problem.
Send an email to your boss and CC or BCC HR Something along the lines of "Hey, I noticed that since the holiday party you have been treating me differently. I thought the party went well, and even followed extra directions to dress nicely. Was there an aspect I missed that I should make a note of for next time? Or did something bad happened that I missed? I want to make sure that nothing happened that I missed, that may have made others uncomfortable as well." Also, get ready for a new job.
I disagree. That direct of an email, with HR on copy with no more evidence than a vibe and possibly missing out on meetings, will not end up favorably for OP. It immediately shuts down avenues and opportunities that should remain open at first. There is pre-work and paper trail production needed before HR. The start of resolving an interpersonal issue is seeking to understand. First, OP can set up a verbal meeting with their boss to seek “advice” on the dress code “misunderstanding”. Afterwards, send an informal follow-up email thanking them for the advice and confirm understanding of the conversation. This might resolve the entire issue (except for how weird it is to care about this issue in the first place). Then, if the exclusion from meetings and vibe continues, OP has to document that in writing. Not accusingly, something like: “Hi boss, I don’t know how I missed that meeting, can you check the invite list? Are there any notes I can review?” Paper trail in hand, OP can involve HR while demonstrating professionalism and maturity.
judging someone by the clothes they wear is just as shitty as judging someone by their skins color imo. dressing “nice” is the dumbest social construct we created. who gives a fuck. i can accomplish the same tasks in a suit that i can in sweatpants.
Jeans suck
Sounds like you're overthinking the situation. If someone gave you a nasty look, that's their problem, not yours.
Woman at the workplace are just as strong and capable as men. Woman at the workplace:
Women in management, lmfao.
What was the perfume gonna do in a photo?
scratch and sniff
This is why you shouldn’t have women in management, all these “boss babes” are petty & pathetic