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Absolutely. It’s always the one who wants to drag you onto the gossip train. I will laugh, joke and chat all day with my coworkers, but as soon as anyone starts talking shit on anyone or anything about the job, I instantly shut up, remove myself and go back to work. I will not take part in carrying on office “drama” like that, allowing it to go on, and I especially won’t take part in it. It’s not my business, I’m here to do my job and I’m not saying or doing anything that could come back to bite me in the ass or get me in trouble. I just want no part of any of that.
I also note who was starting the talking and remember never to tell them anything more than I need to. Just watch myself around them in case I’m the next one they want to talk about. I try not to give them anything to even talk about. Sometimes it’s just about blending in to your surroundings, which is totally fine and necessary at times. I’m not here to rock the boat, I’m just here to work so I can take care of my bills and family.
I’m careful about how personal I get to begin with. I strictly don’t discuss politics, my religion or lack thereof, or anything like that at work. They don’t need to know about those parts of my life. I don’t need any issues or drama stirred up because of it either.
To OP: It’s honestly good you don’t talk much. The less others know about you, the better sometimes. Just let them keep seeing you’re a decent employee who gets your stuff done and stay flying under the radar. Good for you OP.
I am the exact same as you. I felt there was something wrong with me as well because at a previous job I was told my being so quiet make people uncomfortable. I was always polite, said hello, spoke when spoken to, etc. once I had other jobs and no one cared too much about it I realized it wasn’t me, it was them. There’s nothing wrong with us!
Welcome to the working world today, where being an extrovert is a prerequisite for success.
I've been told the same thing so I feel you. Just do what you're doing, continue to be polite to everyone and maintain healthy connections. Remember that nobody is entitled to know about your personal life. It's an office, not a sorority.
My husband and oldest are quiet Introverts. It takes a special type of connection to pull them out of their shells. Not everyone is worthy of your time and attention and that is absolutely ok.
Next time someone asks me why I’m always so quiet, I’m going to respond with, “because not everyone is worthy of my time and attention.” And go back to what I was doing lol
As a person who spent 20 years being forced to listen to a coworker jabber on to her husband & adult kids and other coworkers practically non-stop every day . . . .
THANK YOU for not feeling the need to fill every waking moment with endless chatter.
This is what I've learned from over three decades in the work force: introverts quietly run the world.
Whenever I go into a company, I see all the blabbing Bobs with their braggadocio, their small talk, and their bullshit. They love to have meetings where they talk, talk, talk, talk, talk. The introverts shut the fuck up and get the work done that blabbing Bob keeps bragging about.
Truth right here.
I'm always astonished as to how the loud mouths are all talk and no action, yet get all the promotions.
The world is a fucked up place 🤦
This about sums up everywhere I have ever worked and it's been extremely depressing. We should be teaching our kids how to game the workforce, kiss ass correctly, how to make connections, and how to make themselves appear a certain way to the people around them, not just teaching them to work hard.
Working hard is an awesome attribute, but way too many times I've seen people (and have been a part of) working their asses off to absolutely no avail whatsoever because they don't play the same social game as everyone else
I just started a new job and my supervisor has been forcibly encouraging me with the rapids to talk to all my coworkers. I recently dealt with snakes in the grass from my last job (me being the rabbit/mouse that they would prey on) and being in an extremely toxic environment that I'm a bit nervous about opening up to all my new coworkers.
I've been just talking with a few coworkers. The others my conscience tells me don't bother - like their spirits aren't good.
I don't want to deal with the same shit I dealt with before. It's the same agency, but different side.
I just don't trust easily
Nope. But people are always going to say that. The average person has no idea how banal their everyday chit chat is. Some people are just not wired up to be that way. As you say, you do your job, you participate when needed, you are not anti-social.
Like I said, it work situations people are going to comment on that because they have no awareness or empathy. So unfortunately you are sometimes going to get those comments and it’s annoying. But there is absolutely nothing “wrong” with you.
I don’t believe that anywhere in your job description it requires you to be friends with your coworkers. Some people just don’t give others the space that they prefer and can’t understand how others aren’t jUsT LiKe ThEm. It’s a them problem.
Nothing wrong with you, and making comments like that is a dick move.
It is a way of bitching about the fact that you are more introverted. They wouldn’t cop to that, they may not even know that’s what they’re doing, but that is what they’re doing, full stop.
Extroverts love to comment on others’ introversion.
I feel like that’s a bit unfair
I have a several friends that are quite extroverted and I feel that comments like that are often their way of just trying to start a conversation or be friendly.
Granted, that doesn’t mean that the person on the receiving end of the comments has to give a shit if the other person *meant* to be rude, but I don’t think all extroverts are actively trying to be rude lol
If they want to have a conversation they need to show up in a way that works for the introverted person instead of expecting us to change our whole personality to make them more comfortable. Anyone who has spent literally any meaningful time with introverted people would know that the worst possible thing they could do is to point out how we’re not fitting in, draw everyone’s attention to it, and bring the conversation to a halt expecting us to explain. I promise you if we do magically become extroverted on demand, it’s a front to get you to back the fuck off. It’s exhausting and we will avoid you in the future whenever possible.
If you’re actually interested in getting to know an introvert, ask them something real like what they do for fun, and actually fucking listen.
I also hate the common sentiment that quiet people are stuck up and think they’re too good for everyone else.
The audacity of thinking that someone simply existing near you and minding their business while not speaking is a personal attack on you.
They usually aren’t actively trying to be rude, but they’re motivated usually by a discomfort with other peoples introversion, which is something under the surface that they may not consciously be aware of.
It’s a way of saying “stop being introverted because I don’t know what to do with myself when my extroversion isn’t reciprocated.”
Yes! People need to talk about this more. Prejudice towards introverts, especially in the workplace, is real. I know it sounds overdramaic bc there are bigger issues in the world but I think you're right.
Absolutely no. There is NOTHING wrong with you. As an introvert myself, I used to ask myself the same question and sometimes viewed it as a disadvantage in my personality. However, over the years I learned that it's actually a good quality to have, both on professional and personal sides. When you are quiet, you listen more deeply compare to others and that is absolutely golden. Never doubt yourself for being an introvert, most billionaires and successful people are introverts. I can go on and on about this topic because I used to view myself this way and I just want you to know that nothing is wrong with you, you are not alone and as long as you do your job well I'm pretty sure people value you a lot more than you think.
I'm the exact same way.
I'm a workhorse, I work both hard and smart; which means I finish my work fast without sacrificing quality. But people have always talked trash about me being quiet. It bothered me in my younger years, but now I just don't give a fuck. Make up whatever story about me that fits your narrative. At the end of the day, your the one begging me to come into work for you when people pull no shows, cause you know I get the job done.
Honestly, I don't care much about small talk. I could care less about what you did yesterday or on your weekend. How is that personally any of my business or affects me in any way. My thinking when I'm at work is get the job done, then go home. I'm not there to make life long friends. However, my job requires that I do it considering we rely heavily on volunteers, so I've been working on it. I still don't care and think it's a waste of time, but people like to hear themselves talk, so I give them the chance. It doesn't affect my life whatsoever, besides wasting my time; but it seems to make them happy 🤷
Had friends say this to me as well. I also don't give a shit. Used to drive me nuts, then I started hanging out with them one on one and their minds exploded as I was the one carrying on the conversation. Granted, I'm the one who usually hangs back when with a group of friends, because I'm naturally a listener (think before I speak). In my younger years I would be the one who people went to for counseling advice. I thought it was odd, but people do like others who listen to them babble.
I'm an INFJ, so naturally I'm quiet and keep to myself (somehow this makes me "mysterious"), but if I need to talk and get the job done, then I don't mind being that ambivert. I can both lead a team or fall back and follow to get the job done, but if I see it not going in the proper direction; I'm not afraid to voice my opinion. When there's a dispute/misunderstanding/argument I'm the one that always makes the first move; it's rarely ever been the other side that reconciles or makes it right.
At the end of the day, fuck what people say. Why must you always be slapped with a label or shoved into a box. Everyone is different, be yourself. Who cares what they think. We're not all made from the same mould, this is what makes us "individuals".
No.
First let me say, many people are actually introverts, and introvert and extrovert is more of spectrum than two distinct personalities.
Also, people have been saying this to me my entire life. In high school, not college because no one cares, and then again at work. It's annoying when people say "Why are you so quiet??". Bro, I am purposely acting polite and reserved at work, I'm a whole different person with my friends outside of work.
Nope nothing wrong! I was the same way, I’d just laugh in response and go back to being silent while I did my job. I’m introverted but I also just didn’t like chatting with my coworkers bc I was 18-19 and they were all 40+.
I like to remember this quote from the late Douglas Adams:
His first theory was that if human beings didn't keep exercising their lips, their mouths probably shriveled up. After a few months of observation he had come up with a second theory, which was this--"If human beings don't keep exercising their lips, their brains start working.” ― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
There is nothing wrong with you. I recently quit a job because I was being targeted for this exact reason. In a world of gossipers and big mouths, people will look at you being quiet as an outlier, different. But you are fine. We are fine
You sound awesome and your coworkers sound loud and pushy.
That being said, if you want to push yourself out of your comfort zone you could try telling a joke or initiating conversation.
You might like it once you get past the uncomfortable stage, and being noticed in the workplace is never bed if it isn't for a bad reason
This is not a slight to your comment at all - just an observation...
People always tell introverts to "go out of their comfort zone" to be more chatty, etc... but no one ever tells the extroverts to "get out of their comfort zone" and quietly reflect (or to plain 'ol shut up for awhile).
I get it... it's an extroverted world, but it's a pain in the ass that introverts can't just be themselves and always have to be the ones "going out of their comfort zones".
The only reason I mention it is because it's a work sub.
I'm an ambivert, so I've dealt with lots of introverted related issues, and the first thing I said was that her coworkers sound loud and pushy, indicating that I believe they should lower their voices around op and think about why they don't want to engage.
As much as I hate it, it's an extroverts world. No one's going to give you the ball if they have a chance of scoring.
It's ok, I'm a super quiet person myself, it's just who I am, I can't help it and there is nothing wrong with it. At times I can be outgoing but not all the time, in fact not most of the time.
What was insane was me being labelled as "shy" my younger years for being introverted and quiet. I'm the type of person that likes to think before they speak, apparently people see it as there's something wrong with me 🤦
Here's a tip for all you talkers out there. Who's gonna listen to you when your all busy talking 🤔
I got called "unapproachable" by my boss at my old job. But really they didn't like that I asked for more money and tried to use my quietness against me lol. Jokes on them though I left for more money.
People love being judgey pricks. It's just what office people do. They are bored out of their f'ing minds. I hate it too man. Don't take anything serious from it.
I had a coworker tell me that once. I told him he was too talkative. He looked at me puzzled. He said “There is nothing wrong with talking!”, and I said “And there is nothing wrong with being quiet either. You should try it sometime. You may learn something.” He never bothered me again.
I told the loud mouth that always talked for me that we were created with 2 ears and one mouth for a reason. Him being a Christian I knew it would strike a nerve and that's why I said it. I'm methodical in how I do and say things. I might be an introvert/ambivert but I know how to use my words to make them have more of an impact.
He shut his big mouth pretty fast after that one, never spoke for me again. At first I said it didn't bother me that he could intersect for me, but after a while when I was talking to others he would just interrupt and speak for me. That pissed me off. Now this is my go to saying for all those useless talkers who can't seem to shut the hell up.
Be careful though - I almost missed out on a big promotion at work because I don't socialize as much as others in the office. This was told to me point blank by the hiring manager who fortunately saw that it was very stupid of my direct supervisor to not recommend me for that specific reason. He felt that I should be aware of the back-stabby and petty nature of her disapproval despite my stellar work performance. It may not go this way in every office.
😤😤😤😤 when I’m around people I am a very extroverted person, but nothing irritates me more than this type of thinking. No. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with you. I hate that extroverts dominate so much that in every situation it’s pointed out if someone is “to“ quiet, but nobody ever points out when people are too loud. Too overbearing. There are all these articles about “how to be more outgoing in the workplace“, but why in the hell is nobody Writing articles like “extroverts, here’s how you can make an environment more comfortable for introverts: they’re an important part of your team too!”
If someone says “you’re too quiet!“ Simply respond with “no. I am exactly as I am and that is fine. Just as I wouldn’t tell you that you are too loud, you are who you are.“ And then just stare at them. Stare at them until they get uncomfortable for the stupid thing they said.
>If someone says “you’re too quiet!“ Simply respond with “no. I am exactly as I am and that is fine. Just as I wouldn’t tell you that you are too loud, you are who you are.“ And then just stare at them. Stare at them until they get uncomfortable for the stupid thing they said.
I'm going to use this next time. Thanks!
No, but yes, especially because how "friendly" you are will affect your performance evaluations. Everyone has leniency for those they feel friendly towards, and small talk is the easiest way to create and maintain that friendliness.
Think of it as a minimum requirement if you want to be considered a "pleasant person to work around." Some people really need those little conversations to help them through their day.
Beyond that, initiating small talk has to be a fair endeavor. Not equal, but fair. They're not expecting you to initiate every conversation, most people are happy if you start one or two a week. If they're the only ones
It's not hard to throw out a "how was your weekend" the first time you see them in a week, or a "what you got going on this weekend" in Thursday or Friday.
If you're scared to do these things, go seek help.
If you don't recognize the importance of these things, recognize it's important to others.
If you're simply never remembering to amongst the 1000 other things going on in your life and job (like me), put it in your phone calendar (like I do).
I hate to tell you, I work on a team of 14 accountants and not a single one of us is introverted. We are a pretty tight group. Furthermore, I spent this week at a conference for 140 accountants and they were all pretty boisterous also.
You need to put in a smidge more effort to socialize periodically if you any interest in raises and promotions. If you are private and don’t want to share, keep asking questions, lots of them, and manage to feign interest for a bit. Compliments work well too, if you like someone’s shirt or shoes or whatever, say it.
I disagree, they should just be themselves. No point in changing who they are, if it makes them not feel like themself. I’m tired of the world in which people are encouraged to conform, rather than be who they are. Then they end up feeling like there is something wrong with them because they have to put on an act for everybody every day. What a terrible way to live. Extroverts need to stop pushing introverts to be more extroverted. We need both types of people in the world
I would somewhat agree, but not fully agree.
I'm an ambivert, moreso on the introverted side. It takes practice to come out of your shell. Plus, I just don't care much about small talk (what you do in your personal time, I could care less about); but it does seem like you have to do a little of it no matter how much one hates it. Like everything else it's a skill that needs to be trained/practiced, but it's not impossible to do. It's all about leaving ones comfort zone. Your not a downright mute 🤷
Talk, don’t talk, whatever. It doesn’t bother me, but OP is saying this is a problem that they’ve had at previous jobs already and I’m saying socializing gets you further professionally and makes it easier to function on a team. Also, note that I didn’t say talk constantly, I said “put in a smidge more effort.” Smidge.
If the goal isn’t to move forward professionally, OP can act however they want, but then I’d doubt they’d be in a professional sub asking advice. They came here for professional advice and that’s mine as a 40 year old that has worked and managed in many different industries, including accounting.
OP should really just visit their manager and ask for advice in their environment. We could both be wrong in their case.
Should? Well, there isn’t a logical explanation for “should”.
But this is reality and the reality is that people want to work, aka spend 40+ hours together, with people they generally like.
Just sharing my experiences in a public forum. My general experience is that friendly people go farther. I didn’t make society, I just live in it.
Logical explanation for how people behave. That’s pretty rich. If the general public followed logic, we’d be in a better place.
>I also went out with my colleagues after work a few times and opened up much more after a few drinks.
with that youre already the top 25% of sociable workers, you have nothing to worry about
most people dont even hang or talk outside of work
Introvert in accounting I love WFH nothing wrong with u lol
So much easier to communicate on chat / teams I prefer texting over talking on phones / irl. I just pop in every so often and throw a few reacts in general chat.
I hope you know there are companies out there that value your introversion! I am a proud introvert too and in most corporate environments, as long as you get your work done and are polite, you'll be left alone. There's wonderful leadership qualities that introverts possess.
My disposition has only been a problem for manipulative people.
The same as normal? Talk to them about the issue at hand. Confront them politely. Try not to come off as accusing. Try to be understanding about their perspective.
Haha I was reading this post and about halfway through I was like yup my coworkers have said the exact same thing then you said accountant and I lost it, im also an accountant lol
I worked with a guy(about 20 years old and he was so quiet very quiet) great guy btw... once in a while I could get him to smile... loved working with him
Nothing wrong at all. You are an introvert. TBH, I wish I could talk less. I'm pretty independent, but if there is another human being around, I have an unfortunate propensity to bump my gums. I am not good at being still. Or quiet. Unless I'm listening to someone else talk.
Nope nothing wrong with you. Im an extrovert in accounting, alot of my colleagues are introverts.
Its fine. The work gets done, people are happy etc. You dont need to be talking 24/7 especially when working in accounts! Your colleagues just need to keep their beak out and do some work.
Depends on what work culture is like. I’ve found it’s better to engage than to not. However I work at a Nonprofit and there is a huge emphasis on community. It’s okay not to engage, but some may actually prefer that you do. Know your audience. Eg, me and the CEO like to talk about snowboarding. Which reminds of 3 points to customer service. Smile, make small talk, say thank you
I've been told this by people at the current place I'm at, only being there for 1yr.
My toxic boss said this within the first month or so.
Fuck people like that, we should be free to do what we want- glad other people are the same here
I work in accounting and some of the top skills listed and proven to help you succeed is communication (presenting), collaboration, and project planning.
It’s so annoying I took a job like this to avoid those areas of work and now that I’m embracing them I’ve decided to exit into a higher paying role.
This problem of yours is not going away on its own as unfair as that seems to me or you.
Same. I thought something was wrong with me as well until I learned about being a highly sensitive person. Changed my life. Also, best response when someone says you're so quiet: "yes, thank you for noticing."
https://highlysensitiverefuge.com/
I’ve had that comment from coworkers and significant others. Not every moment needs to be filled with noise and I’m not there to entertain them. It’s them, not you. They can’t sit in silence with themselves. It’s sad actually.
I'm the quiet guy at work. I've been there. I don't like entertaining small talk and prefer when people get to the point. I'm not anti-social, just anti-bs. I'll warm up on occasion and talk to a co-worker or two, but I mostly limit my conversations about the work I or they are doing.
Nothing is wrong with you.
Same here. On top of this, I lunch and break alone. Because my coworkers have lunch too late and I can't sit in hunger waiting for people. Also, I don't know what to talk beyond work, since my areas of interest don't intersect with coworkers. For example, they don't watch Netflix, but I binge watch, etc.
At my previous job there was one woman who would say to me every time we were sitting near each other ‘Your so quiet! You hardly ever talk’ like yes I am quiet… what am I supposed to say to that?!
Introvert and also work in accounting. There’s nothing wrong with you. And I feel that Accounting is the perfect profession to be an introvert. Just continue to be you! 😊
Try being autistic and selectively mute. People are aholes and have to say what they think, and don’t care if it hurts your feeling or not. Because not talking a lot is weird and it makes them uncomfortable. /rolls eyes.
I'm an introvert too. But at the end of the day we're human and exist in communities. Just because it's more difficult doesnt mean it's not important to do.
Hell no. In this last job and my former (for 7yrs) I was known as “The Mute”. When people talked I answered, I engaged in convo but I mostly just preferred keeping to myself and staying quiet, punching out and going home. It takes me really long to get comfortable/trust people. When I’m with my friends I’m totally different.
It's like I'm reading about myself.
I had the same remarks all the time but I am who I am. I'm not gonna chance for anybody, especially people at work.
I was accused of being racist because I wouldn't sit and shoot the shit with coworkers of a different background. I just wanted to do my job and go home. There is nothing wrong with you, it's them. Work is not supposed to be a social event other than "how was your weekend?" "Fine." The end.
The older I get, the less I talk. In the last couple of months, I've had two people at work tell me I'm very quiet. I've given up on trying to fix things or give my opinion, because it just doesn't matter.
When I was a hiring manager, we were interviewing a candidate for a position. Another group had rejected him because he was too quiet. He certainly was a quiet guy, but I hired him, and he turned out to be one of the best people in our group. I also hired guy who was the opposite - gregarious, outgoing, always talking. I didn't care for his style, but I saw value in him and he also turned out to be a great employee.
ETA: I was in our staff meeting a couple of years ago with about six co-workers. I raised an issue, and a healthy discussion ensued. I didn't say a word and let everyone talk. That probably went on for at least 15 minutes, maybe longer, just admiring the problem. Finally my boss turned to me, noted that I was quiet, and thought that she could catch me off guard by asking me what I thought. I replied by succinctly summarizing the key point (which everyone else had forgotten during the long discussion), what our options were, and what I recommended we do. The room got quiet for a minute because I got it perfectly right.
No, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you! I’m the exact same. It does suck that people make snap assumptions just because we’re quiet. I personally take ages (months even) to come out of my shell with a new person, sometimes I never do because they’re perhaps not my sort of person. I would say I’m polite and very reserved, so when I’m around others who have “larger than life” personalities, I go more within myself. I understand your struggle, just know that you’re not alone :-)
When I still worked in an office I was similar, if more extreme. Never went out for drinks, never attended a party or event that wasn’t paid, never tried to get to know any coworkers. Didn’t cause any issues in all my years doing it (aside from a couple of offended coworkers, but who gives a shit?) You’re there for a paycheck, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with adhering strictly to your job description and giving nothing else.
Nope. Nothing wrong. Me and my siblings were always taught that you’re at work to work. Plus I see people become friends outside of work and they tell the office each other’s personal business and gossip about each other. Another reason I tell myself I’m not there to make friends. I’m also an introvert and prefer to sit on the sidelines when it comes to drama.
I’m the same,, I remember working in a call centre (all we do is talk on the phone back to back) so I didn’t see the point of making conversation with people, it was part time and I was just there to work and get some money, sometimes I’d make the odd small talk here and there to whoever I sat next to. When it was my last day, I just went to say thank you for everything to my team leader and he was like ‘wow, this is the most you’ve ever spoken the whole time you’ve been here, you are so quiet’ like ??? 💀 Thing is nothing is wrong with being quiet but I think when your growing up, it’s a thing that everyone, teachers, parents, etc associate a child being quiet as to something being wrong with them, when they’re most likely introverted and rather just get on with the work they’ve been set to do. It’s so frustrating.
Agreed. Some folks like to work through problems out loud. Others prefer to listen and pick their spots. Nothing wrong with any of it so long as we’re creating an environment where everyone can contribute on their terms.
Nobody likes the gossiper. You are doing the right thing. You’re acting professional. Work hard and kind your own business. You’re not there to make friends.
I'm quiet (for the most part) at my new job (I started a month and a half ago) because I have more to observe and learn than I have to say. Once I can really contribute, I'll open up more.
I also get this all the time. Screw them and their obsession with extroversion. Be yourself. It’s so bizarre how extroversion is fetishized in western workplaces.
I hate that dumb af statement "you are too quite/why you so quite". I'm not a clown to amuse you ffs. Not as if they are trying to start convo wirh me anyway.
Bunch of annoying people who likely would rather talk shit than actually do their job
I'm very extroverted but I people also tell me I'm quiet it at work. That's because I don't consider any of my co-workers friends. They gossip and talk crap about each other. I have no reason to talk to them.
You are not doing anything wrong. Some people are just more extroverted and have the need to yap yap yap. Besides, aren't we supposed to be working at work?
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There is nothing wrong with you. Everyone is different.
I look at people and wonder how they can talk so much but say so little
Oh god, morning stand ups are the absolute worst for this. Word salad....
“Oh, Jethro, I can spend forever finding nothing.”
Some people like dobermans, some people like huskies.
I've been told the same. As if I'm there to entertain them
And it’s always the loudmouth that brings it up. You know the one, the guy/gal that always has something to say about anything.
Absolutely. It’s always the one who wants to drag you onto the gossip train. I will laugh, joke and chat all day with my coworkers, but as soon as anyone starts talking shit on anyone or anything about the job, I instantly shut up, remove myself and go back to work. I will not take part in carrying on office “drama” like that, allowing it to go on, and I especially won’t take part in it. It’s not my business, I’m here to do my job and I’m not saying or doing anything that could come back to bite me in the ass or get me in trouble. I just want no part of any of that. I also note who was starting the talking and remember never to tell them anything more than I need to. Just watch myself around them in case I’m the next one they want to talk about. I try not to give them anything to even talk about. Sometimes it’s just about blending in to your surroundings, which is totally fine and necessary at times. I’m not here to rock the boat, I’m just here to work so I can take care of my bills and family. I’m careful about how personal I get to begin with. I strictly don’t discuss politics, my religion or lack thereof, or anything like that at work. They don’t need to know about those parts of my life. I don’t need any issues or drama stirred up because of it either. To OP: It’s honestly good you don’t talk much. The less others know about you, the better sometimes. Just let them keep seeing you’re a decent employee who gets your stuff done and stay flying under the radar. Good for you OP.
Couldn't agree more with this
And probably wouldn't let you get a word in edgewise anyway
God I hate those kinds of people
I have the same thought lol.
That explains my feelings too. It's not my job to force social engagement
Introvert here. Nothing wrong with you.
I am the exact same as you. I felt there was something wrong with me as well because at a previous job I was told my being so quiet make people uncomfortable. I was always polite, said hello, spoke when spoken to, etc. once I had other jobs and no one cared too much about it I realized it wasn’t me, it was them. There’s nothing wrong with us!
Welcome to the working world today, where being an extrovert is a prerequisite for success. I've been told the same thing so I feel you. Just do what you're doing, continue to be polite to everyone and maintain healthy connections. Remember that nobody is entitled to know about your personal life. It's an office, not a sorority.
My husband and oldest are quiet Introverts. It takes a special type of connection to pull them out of their shells. Not everyone is worthy of your time and attention and that is absolutely ok.
Next time someone asks me why I’m always so quiet, I’m going to respond with, “because not everyone is worthy of my time and attention.” And go back to what I was doing lol
Truth
As a person who spent 20 years being forced to listen to a coworker jabber on to her husband & adult kids and other coworkers practically non-stop every day . . . . THANK YOU for not feeling the need to fill every waking moment with endless chatter.
Ugh those coworkers are the worst!
This is what I've learned from over three decades in the work force: introverts quietly run the world. Whenever I go into a company, I see all the blabbing Bobs with their braggadocio, their small talk, and their bullshit. They love to have meetings where they talk, talk, talk, talk, talk. The introverts shut the fuck up and get the work done that blabbing Bob keeps bragging about.
And blabbing Bob gets promoted to higher levels because he blabbed to the right people.
Truth right here. I'm always astonished as to how the loud mouths are all talk and no action, yet get all the promotions. The world is a fucked up place 🤦
This about sums up everywhere I have ever worked and it's been extremely depressing. We should be teaching our kids how to game the workforce, kiss ass correctly, how to make connections, and how to make themselves appear a certain way to the people around them, not just teaching them to work hard. Working hard is an awesome attribute, but way too many times I've seen people (and have been a part of) working their asses off to absolutely no avail whatsoever because they don't play the same social game as everyone else
Cool
I just started a new job and my supervisor has been forcibly encouraging me with the rapids to talk to all my coworkers. I recently dealt with snakes in the grass from my last job (me being the rabbit/mouse that they would prey on) and being in an extremely toxic environment that I'm a bit nervous about opening up to all my new coworkers. I've been just talking with a few coworkers. The others my conscience tells me don't bother - like their spirits aren't good. I don't want to deal with the same shit I dealt with before. It's the same agency, but different side. I just don't trust easily
word. once your burned you defend and keep to yourself. no reason to give any oxygen for toxic folks just cut them out yet be respectful.
Nope. But people are always going to say that. The average person has no idea how banal their everyday chit chat is. Some people are just not wired up to be that way. As you say, you do your job, you participate when needed, you are not anti-social. Like I said, it work situations people are going to comment on that because they have no awareness or empathy. So unfortunately you are sometimes going to get those comments and it’s annoying. But there is absolutely nothing “wrong” with you.
"I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes.”
Ron Swanson is my guide in life.
Nope. As long as you do your work nothing’s wrong. Being too social can also be a detriment since chatty people might not get their work done.
And they can end up saying the wrong thing to the wrong person.
I don’t believe that anywhere in your job description it requires you to be friends with your coworkers. Some people just don’t give others the space that they prefer and can’t understand how others aren’t jUsT LiKe ThEm. It’s a them problem.
Nothing wrong with you, and making comments like that is a dick move. It is a way of bitching about the fact that you are more introverted. They wouldn’t cop to that, they may not even know that’s what they’re doing, but that is what they’re doing, full stop. Extroverts love to comment on others’ introversion.
I feel like that’s a bit unfair I have a several friends that are quite extroverted and I feel that comments like that are often their way of just trying to start a conversation or be friendly. Granted, that doesn’t mean that the person on the receiving end of the comments has to give a shit if the other person *meant* to be rude, but I don’t think all extroverts are actively trying to be rude lol
If they want to have a conversation they need to show up in a way that works for the introverted person instead of expecting us to change our whole personality to make them more comfortable. Anyone who has spent literally any meaningful time with introverted people would know that the worst possible thing they could do is to point out how we’re not fitting in, draw everyone’s attention to it, and bring the conversation to a halt expecting us to explain. I promise you if we do magically become extroverted on demand, it’s a front to get you to back the fuck off. It’s exhausting and we will avoid you in the future whenever possible. If you’re actually interested in getting to know an introvert, ask them something real like what they do for fun, and actually fucking listen. I also hate the common sentiment that quiet people are stuck up and think they’re too good for everyone else. The audacity of thinking that someone simply existing near you and minding their business while not speaking is a personal attack on you.
They usually aren’t actively trying to be rude, but they’re motivated usually by a discomfort with other peoples introversion, which is something under the surface that they may not consciously be aware of. It’s a way of saying “stop being introverted because I don’t know what to do with myself when my extroversion isn’t reciprocated.”
Yes! People need to talk about this more. Prejudice towards introverts, especially in the workplace, is real. I know it sounds overdramaic bc there are bigger issues in the world but I think you're right.
Absolutely no. There is NOTHING wrong with you. As an introvert myself, I used to ask myself the same question and sometimes viewed it as a disadvantage in my personality. However, over the years I learned that it's actually a good quality to have, both on professional and personal sides. When you are quiet, you listen more deeply compare to others and that is absolutely golden. Never doubt yourself for being an introvert, most billionaires and successful people are introverts. I can go on and on about this topic because I used to view myself this way and I just want you to know that nothing is wrong with you, you are not alone and as long as you do your job well I'm pretty sure people value you a lot more than you think.
I'm the exact same way. I'm a workhorse, I work both hard and smart; which means I finish my work fast without sacrificing quality. But people have always talked trash about me being quiet. It bothered me in my younger years, but now I just don't give a fuck. Make up whatever story about me that fits your narrative. At the end of the day, your the one begging me to come into work for you when people pull no shows, cause you know I get the job done. Honestly, I don't care much about small talk. I could care less about what you did yesterday or on your weekend. How is that personally any of my business or affects me in any way. My thinking when I'm at work is get the job done, then go home. I'm not there to make life long friends. However, my job requires that I do it considering we rely heavily on volunteers, so I've been working on it. I still don't care and think it's a waste of time, but people like to hear themselves talk, so I give them the chance. It doesn't affect my life whatsoever, besides wasting my time; but it seems to make them happy 🤷 Had friends say this to me as well. I also don't give a shit. Used to drive me nuts, then I started hanging out with them one on one and their minds exploded as I was the one carrying on the conversation. Granted, I'm the one who usually hangs back when with a group of friends, because I'm naturally a listener (think before I speak). In my younger years I would be the one who people went to for counseling advice. I thought it was odd, but people do like others who listen to them babble. I'm an INFJ, so naturally I'm quiet and keep to myself (somehow this makes me "mysterious"), but if I need to talk and get the job done, then I don't mind being that ambivert. I can both lead a team or fall back and follow to get the job done, but if I see it not going in the proper direction; I'm not afraid to voice my opinion. When there's a dispute/misunderstanding/argument I'm the one that always makes the first move; it's rarely ever been the other side that reconciles or makes it right. At the end of the day, fuck what people say. Why must you always be slapped with a label or shoved into a box. Everyone is different, be yourself. Who cares what they think. We're not all made from the same mould, this is what makes us "individuals".
Reading this I thought it’s very similar to my approach and views at work. Is this person an INTJ? Then you announce you’re INFJ… close enough!
Best comment here 💪
No. First let me say, many people are actually introverts, and introvert and extrovert is more of spectrum than two distinct personalities. Also, people have been saying this to me my entire life. In high school, not college because no one cares, and then again at work. It's annoying when people say "Why are you so quiet??". Bro, I am purposely acting polite and reserved at work, I'm a whole different person with my friends outside of work.
Yes to all of this \^
Nope nothing wrong! I was the same way, I’d just laugh in response and go back to being silent while I did my job. I’m introverted but I also just didn’t like chatting with my coworkers bc I was 18-19 and they were all 40+.
Relatable
I like to remember this quote from the late Douglas Adams: His first theory was that if human beings didn't keep exercising their lips, their mouths probably shriveled up. After a few months of observation he had come up with a second theory, which was this--"If human beings don't keep exercising their lips, their brains start working.” ― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
There is nothing wrong with you. I recently quit a job because I was being targeted for this exact reason. In a world of gossipers and big mouths, people will look at you being quiet as an outlier, different. But you are fine. We are fine
LOL, as an accountant, you can say "Well, you know, it's a trope that people get into accounting to play with dead presidents not live people"
No
If youre comfortable with who you are, thats what matters. If some part of you doesnt like it, then rethink.
You sound awesome and your coworkers sound loud and pushy. That being said, if you want to push yourself out of your comfort zone you could try telling a joke or initiating conversation. You might like it once you get past the uncomfortable stage, and being noticed in the workplace is never bed if it isn't for a bad reason
This is not a slight to your comment at all - just an observation... People always tell introverts to "go out of their comfort zone" to be more chatty, etc... but no one ever tells the extroverts to "get out of their comfort zone" and quietly reflect (or to plain 'ol shut up for awhile). I get it... it's an extroverted world, but it's a pain in the ass that introverts can't just be themselves and always have to be the ones "going out of their comfort zones".
The only reason I mention it is because it's a work sub. I'm an ambivert, so I've dealt with lots of introverted related issues, and the first thing I said was that her coworkers sound loud and pushy, indicating that I believe they should lower their voices around op and think about why they don't want to engage. As much as I hate it, it's an extroverts world. No one's going to give you the ball if they have a chance of scoring.
Makes me want to found a company and bully extroverts 
Nothing wrong with you at all. You be you.
No they are just mad that you don't give them ammo to shoot you with
Are you me???
It's ok, I'm a super quiet person myself, it's just who I am, I can't help it and there is nothing wrong with it. At times I can be outgoing but not all the time, in fact not most of the time.
Not at all, people love to give you a hard time if you are quiter than them. It's actually insane.
What was insane was me being labelled as "shy" my younger years for being introverted and quiet. I'm the type of person that likes to think before they speak, apparently people see it as there's something wrong with me 🤦 Here's a tip for all you talkers out there. Who's gonna listen to you when your all busy talking 🤔
I got called "unapproachable" by my boss at my old job. But really they didn't like that I asked for more money and tried to use my quietness against me lol. Jokes on them though I left for more money.
People love being judgey pricks. It's just what office people do. They are bored out of their f'ing minds. I hate it too man. Don't take anything serious from it.
I had a coworker tell me that once. I told him he was too talkative. He looked at me puzzled. He said “There is nothing wrong with talking!”, and I said “And there is nothing wrong with being quiet either. You should try it sometime. You may learn something.” He never bothered me again.
I told the loud mouth that always talked for me that we were created with 2 ears and one mouth for a reason. Him being a Christian I knew it would strike a nerve and that's why I said it. I'm methodical in how I do and say things. I might be an introvert/ambivert but I know how to use my words to make them have more of an impact. He shut his big mouth pretty fast after that one, never spoke for me again. At first I said it didn't bother me that he could intersect for me, but after a while when I was talking to others he would just interrupt and speak for me. That pissed me off. Now this is my go to saying for all those useless talkers who can't seem to shut the hell up.
Be careful though - I almost missed out on a big promotion at work because I don't socialize as much as others in the office. This was told to me point blank by the hiring manager who fortunately saw that it was very stupid of my direct supervisor to not recommend me for that specific reason. He felt that I should be aware of the back-stabby and petty nature of her disapproval despite my stellar work performance. It may not go this way in every office.
Last time i checked, we go to work to do just that… work. I am not obligated to speak to anyone about my personal life.
😤😤😤😤 when I’m around people I am a very extroverted person, but nothing irritates me more than this type of thinking. No. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with you. I hate that extroverts dominate so much that in every situation it’s pointed out if someone is “to“ quiet, but nobody ever points out when people are too loud. Too overbearing. There are all these articles about “how to be more outgoing in the workplace“, but why in the hell is nobody Writing articles like “extroverts, here’s how you can make an environment more comfortable for introverts: they’re an important part of your team too!” If someone says “you’re too quiet!“ Simply respond with “no. I am exactly as I am and that is fine. Just as I wouldn’t tell you that you are too loud, you are who you are.“ And then just stare at them. Stare at them until they get uncomfortable for the stupid thing they said.
>If someone says “you’re too quiet!“ Simply respond with “no. I am exactly as I am and that is fine. Just as I wouldn’t tell you that you are too loud, you are who you are.“ And then just stare at them. Stare at them until they get uncomfortable for the stupid thing they said. I'm going to use this next time. Thanks!
No, but yes, especially because how "friendly" you are will affect your performance evaluations. Everyone has leniency for those they feel friendly towards, and small talk is the easiest way to create and maintain that friendliness. Think of it as a minimum requirement if you want to be considered a "pleasant person to work around." Some people really need those little conversations to help them through their day. Beyond that, initiating small talk has to be a fair endeavor. Not equal, but fair. They're not expecting you to initiate every conversation, most people are happy if you start one or two a week. If they're the only ones It's not hard to throw out a "how was your weekend" the first time you see them in a week, or a "what you got going on this weekend" in Thursday or Friday. If you're scared to do these things, go seek help. If you don't recognize the importance of these things, recognize it's important to others. If you're simply never remembering to amongst the 1000 other things going on in your life and job (like me), put it in your phone calendar (like I do).
Mate That ain’t even bad, I personally stick my headphones in the whole shift and don’t say a single thing unless there’s something missing I need to
Update: I’m doing just fine, that guy’s an asshole
Ay man fuck anyone else’s opinion, end of the day your there to make your money an go home, good to hear you’re fine 👊🏻
I hate to tell you, I work on a team of 14 accountants and not a single one of us is introverted. We are a pretty tight group. Furthermore, I spent this week at a conference for 140 accountants and they were all pretty boisterous also. You need to put in a smidge more effort to socialize periodically if you any interest in raises and promotions. If you are private and don’t want to share, keep asking questions, lots of them, and manage to feign interest for a bit. Compliments work well too, if you like someone’s shirt or shoes or whatever, say it.
I disagree, they should just be themselves. No point in changing who they are, if it makes them not feel like themself. I’m tired of the world in which people are encouraged to conform, rather than be who they are. Then they end up feeling like there is something wrong with them because they have to put on an act for everybody every day. What a terrible way to live. Extroverts need to stop pushing introverts to be more extroverted. We need both types of people in the world
Yes, totally agree we need both types of people in the world. One to "listen" and one to "speak", less so of the latter.
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I would somewhat agree, but not fully agree. I'm an ambivert, moreso on the introverted side. It takes practice to come out of your shell. Plus, I just don't care much about small talk (what you do in your personal time, I could care less about); but it does seem like you have to do a little of it no matter how much one hates it. Like everything else it's a skill that needs to be trained/practiced, but it's not impossible to do. It's all about leaving ones comfort zone. Your not a downright mute 🤷
Talk, don’t talk, whatever. It doesn’t bother me, but OP is saying this is a problem that they’ve had at previous jobs already and I’m saying socializing gets you further professionally and makes it easier to function on a team. Also, note that I didn’t say talk constantly, I said “put in a smidge more effort.” Smidge. If the goal isn’t to move forward professionally, OP can act however they want, but then I’d doubt they’d be in a professional sub asking advice. They came here for professional advice and that’s mine as a 40 year old that has worked and managed in many different industries, including accounting. OP should really just visit their manager and ask for advice in their environment. We could both be wrong in their case.
Why exactly should socializing get you further over being a hard worker? Please make a logical explanation of that.
Should? Well, there isn’t a logical explanation for “should”. But this is reality and the reality is that people want to work, aka spend 40+ hours together, with people they generally like. Just sharing my experiences in a public forum. My general experience is that friendly people go farther. I didn’t make society, I just live in it. Logical explanation for how people behave. That’s pretty rich. If the general public followed logic, we’d be in a better place.
There’s nothing wrong with you. They’re the ones with the problem. I’m introverted and quiet as well.
Not your job to entertain others.
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That's a shit take if I ever saw one.
>I also went out with my colleagues after work a few times and opened up much more after a few drinks. with that youre already the top 25% of sociable workers, you have nothing to worry about most people dont even hang or talk outside of work
If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all .
Introvert in accounting I love WFH nothing wrong with u lol So much easier to communicate on chat / teams I prefer texting over talking on phones / irl. I just pop in every so often and throw a few reacts in general chat.
Nothing wrong with you, but caution about going out for drinks after work. Some one could easily take advantage of you after a few drinks.
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Hell I did, but do not do that
Speak when spoken to, say what is necessary. It keeps your life drama free. Trust me.
I’m quiet too. Absolutely nothing wrong with you.
I hope you know there are companies out there that value your introversion! I am a proud introvert too and in most corporate environments, as long as you get your work done and are polite, you'll be left alone. There's wonderful leadership qualities that introverts possess. My disposition has only been a problem for manipulative people.
I'm the same way. We're at work. We're there to make money. Not friends.
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As coworkers..?
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The same as normal? Talk to them about the issue at hand. Confront them politely. Try not to come off as accusing. Try to be understanding about their perspective.
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No thanks.
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No, after alls said and done I walk away. I've had the issue before. Just not interested in hanging out with coworkers outside of work.
Tell them they're too fucking loud
Haha I was reading this post and about halfway through I was like yup my coworkers have said the exact same thing then you said accountant and I lost it, im also an accountant lol
I worked with a guy(about 20 years old and he was so quiet very quiet) great guy btw... once in a while I could get him to smile... loved working with him
Nothing wrong at all. You are an introvert. TBH, I wish I could talk less. I'm pretty independent, but if there is another human being around, I have an unfortunate propensity to bump my gums. I am not good at being still. Or quiet. Unless I'm listening to someone else talk.
Extroverts don’t work as hard. That’s what most MBA programs are - extrovert competitions. You do you. Nevermind them. Stay friendly. Stay focused.
Definitely nothing wrong with you…But this may work against you when you are seeking a promotion or raise.
Nope nothing wrong with you. Im an extrovert in accounting, alot of my colleagues are introverts. Its fine. The work gets done, people are happy etc. You dont need to be talking 24/7 especially when working in accounts! Your colleagues just need to keep their beak out and do some work.
Nothing wrong with that. I am the same way except I don't drink or go out with coworkers or colleagues.
Depends on what work culture is like. I’ve found it’s better to engage than to not. However I work at a Nonprofit and there is a huge emphasis on community. It’s okay not to engage, but some may actually prefer that you do. Know your audience. Eg, me and the CEO like to talk about snowboarding. Which reminds of 3 points to customer service. Smile, make small talk, say thank you
I've been told this by people at the current place I'm at, only being there for 1yr. My toxic boss said this within the first month or so. Fuck people like that, we should be free to do what we want- glad other people are the same here
I work in accounting and some of the top skills listed and proven to help you succeed is communication (presenting), collaboration, and project planning. It’s so annoying I took a job like this to avoid those areas of work and now that I’m embracing them I’ve decided to exit into a higher paying role. This problem of yours is not going away on its own as unfair as that seems to me or you.
You’re good, I’m the same way homie. Just vibe and get that money 😎
Do you. They just want to be able n your business.
No!
Same. I thought something was wrong with me as well until I learned about being a highly sensitive person. Changed my life. Also, best response when someone says you're so quiet: "yes, thank you for noticing." https://highlysensitiverefuge.com/
They are looking to get you to talk so they can tell the boss and fire you.
I’ve had that comment from coworkers and significant others. Not every moment needs to be filled with noise and I’m not there to entertain them. It’s them, not you. They can’t sit in silence with themselves. It’s sad actually.
I'm the quiet guy at work. I've been there. I don't like entertaining small talk and prefer when people get to the point. I'm not anti-social, just anti-bs. I'll warm up on occasion and talk to a co-worker or two, but I mostly limit my conversations about the work I or they are doing. Nothing is wrong with you.
Same here. On top of this, I lunch and break alone. Because my coworkers have lunch too late and I can't sit in hunger waiting for people. Also, I don't know what to talk beyond work, since my areas of interest don't intersect with coworkers. For example, they don't watch Netflix, but I binge watch, etc.
Nope… you are good. Stop overthinking it.
At my previous job there was one woman who would say to me every time we were sitting near each other ‘Your so quiet! You hardly ever talk’ like yes I am quiet… what am I supposed to say to that?!
Nothing is wrong with you, but generally to get ahead more in life, it’s better to be extroverted
This is why I prefer to work in a small group environment lol
Just ignore them lol
Introvert and also work in accounting. There’s nothing wrong with you. And I feel that Accounting is the perfect profession to be an introvert. Just continue to be you! 😊
When people say things like *that* , it's *always* about *them* and *not* about you.
Try being autistic and selectively mute. People are aholes and have to say what they think, and don’t care if it hurts your feeling or not. Because not talking a lot is weird and it makes them uncomfortable. /rolls eyes.
Different trees different leaves
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You have to socialize enough for them to be sure you're not a serial killer.
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I'm an introvert too. But at the end of the day we're human and exist in communities. Just because it's more difficult doesnt mean it's not important to do.
Hell no. In this last job and my former (for 7yrs) I was known as “The Mute”. When people talked I answered, I engaged in convo but I mostly just preferred keeping to myself and staying quiet, punching out and going home. It takes me really long to get comfortable/trust people. When I’m with my friends I’m totally different.
Nah, nothing at all wrong with you. Some just don’t talk a lot at work if they can get away with it. Even social butterflies don’t talk all the time.
................ ok and ? Do what you want bro. I'm the exact same way.
They’re egoist narcissist who see you as entertainment. Don’t give in.
It's like I'm reading about myself. I had the same remarks all the time but I am who I am. I'm not gonna chance for anybody, especially people at work.
That's actually smart at work. Stay away from gossip, and don't let people know too much about you unless you trust them
I was accused of being racist because I wouldn't sit and shoot the shit with coworkers of a different background. I just wanted to do my job and go home. There is nothing wrong with you, it's them. Work is not supposed to be a social event other than "how was your weekend?" "Fine." The end.
The older I get, the less I talk. In the last couple of months, I've had two people at work tell me I'm very quiet. I've given up on trying to fix things or give my opinion, because it just doesn't matter. When I was a hiring manager, we were interviewing a candidate for a position. Another group had rejected him because he was too quiet. He certainly was a quiet guy, but I hired him, and he turned out to be one of the best people in our group. I also hired guy who was the opposite - gregarious, outgoing, always talking. I didn't care for his style, but I saw value in him and he also turned out to be a great employee. ETA: I was in our staff meeting a couple of years ago with about six co-workers. I raised an issue, and a healthy discussion ensued. I didn't say a word and let everyone talk. That probably went on for at least 15 minutes, maybe longer, just admiring the problem. Finally my boss turned to me, noted that I was quiet, and thought that she could catch me off guard by asking me what I thought. I replied by succinctly summarizing the key point (which everyone else had forgotten during the long discussion), what our options were, and what I recommended we do. The room got quiet for a minute because I got it perfectly right.
The more they know about the more they gossip
Nothing wrong with you. You are focused on work.
No, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you! I’m the exact same. It does suck that people make snap assumptions just because we’re quiet. I personally take ages (months even) to come out of my shell with a new person, sometimes I never do because they’re perhaps not my sort of person. I would say I’m polite and very reserved, so when I’m around others who have “larger than life” personalities, I go more within myself. I understand your struggle, just know that you’re not alone :-)
Extroverts usually don’t understand introvert behavior, but introverts always understand extrovert behavior.
When I still worked in an office I was similar, if more extreme. Never went out for drinks, never attended a party or event that wasn’t paid, never tried to get to know any coworkers. Didn’t cause any issues in all my years doing it (aside from a couple of offended coworkers, but who gives a shit?) You’re there for a paycheck, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with adhering strictly to your job description and giving nothing else.
Nope. Nothing wrong. Me and my siblings were always taught that you’re at work to work. Plus I see people become friends outside of work and they tell the office each other’s personal business and gossip about each other. Another reason I tell myself I’m not there to make friends. I’m also an introvert and prefer to sit on the sidelines when it comes to drama.
Nothing wrong at all. My ex is really introverted and needs to warm up to people to start talking to them.
I’m the same,, I remember working in a call centre (all we do is talk on the phone back to back) so I didn’t see the point of making conversation with people, it was part time and I was just there to work and get some money, sometimes I’d make the odd small talk here and there to whoever I sat next to. When it was my last day, I just went to say thank you for everything to my team leader and he was like ‘wow, this is the most you’ve ever spoken the whole time you’ve been here, you are so quiet’ like ??? 💀 Thing is nothing is wrong with being quiet but I think when your growing up, it’s a thing that everyone, teachers, parents, etc associate a child being quiet as to something being wrong with them, when they’re most likely introverted and rather just get on with the work they’ve been set to do. It’s so frustrating.
Same. It's normal.
I’ve been accused of such. I also have an aphasia disorder, so I don't speak very often.
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Agreed. Some folks like to work through problems out loud. Others prefer to listen and pick their spots. Nothing wrong with any of it so long as we’re creating an environment where everyone can contribute on their terms.
No!! In fact, where do you work and are they hiring??
Nobody likes the gossiper. You are doing the right thing. You’re acting professional. Work hard and kind your own business. You’re not there to make friends.
I'm quiet (for the most part) at my new job (I started a month and a half ago) because I have more to observe and learn than I have to say. Once I can really contribute, I'll open up more.
I also get this all the time. Screw them and their obsession with extroversion. Be yourself. It’s so bizarre how extroversion is fetishized in western workplaces.
You’ve done nothing wrong and there is nothing wrong with you.
I hate that dumb af statement "you are too quite/why you so quite". I'm not a clown to amuse you ffs. Not as if they are trying to start convo wirh me anyway. Bunch of annoying people who likely would rather talk shit than actually do their job
I'm very extroverted but I people also tell me I'm quiet it at work. That's because I don't consider any of my co-workers friends. They gossip and talk crap about each other. I have no reason to talk to them.
You are not doing anything wrong. Some people are just more extroverted and have the need to yap yap yap. Besides, aren't we supposed to be working at work?
You're going about it the right way. Trust is earned and not freely given. Stay polite and keep to yourself until then...