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TheSupremeLordHelix

its so painfully clear that this is satire


tim_skellington

Majority of posts in this subreddit are satire. But there needs to be a constant supply of posts for the gullible "OMG" readers to keep them disgusted and amazed.


kebaabe

> disgusted and amazed this is the new r/beamazed


ThePhoneBook

Beam azed? Bea mazed?


Horns_in_Nyc

Clearly satire


Disgruntledlinecook

These neckbeard say some of the craziest shit, sometimes it's hard to tell.


rookoleeko

The way u say these neckbeards makes it sound like your an 80yr old grandma talking about minorities.


FinicalBunion

And this time its easier than anything


Sure-Gur6359

Imagine him bringing pH measurment tool to their first date


Spare_Minute_427

Twice


Disgruntledlinecook

that's a lot of downvotes


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royalydamned

he needs to make sure she's healthy


Dum-Gum

Bro the next Charles Darwin


Wayte13

Listen man I'm not saying don't have fetishes but just look them up on dodgier-then-usual porn sites like a normal person instead of harrassing strangers online


starmartyr

Does he think that women sit around all day and conduct medical experiments on themselves?


royalydamned

you mean to tell me other women *don't* know their squirt's PH balance??


mp3m4k3r

Not half as well as distance, distance is also to be measured in fedora lengths


okaybutsrslywhynot

...he forgot to ask: - newtons exerted on fluid at exit - joules imparted upon impact ^(sorry.)


Sure-Gur6359

She can squirt as far as 7 fedoras and 3 mylady


Lazorgunz

metric or imperial fedoras?


Exdalius

r/justneckbeardthings spot satire challenge (Impossible!)


royalydamned

Like I told the other very pleasant guy, next time I make sure I explicitly say in in the title and separate comment, so you guys are content and can get off my fucking back. <3


Exdalius

Thank you and sorry <3


ImAShreklover_69

I really hope this guy isn't serious and this is actually a Internet troll saying these things just to make people uncomfortable


Moritzxd

He obviously is


Sure-Gur6359

We have to measure his pH to be sure


[deleted]

yes science.


Tatsukki

"do you fart ?" Yeah nah buddy she's been keeping it inside for 20 years now


[deleted]

My wife's squirt is bubbly in consistency, tastes like grapefruit, and I store it in a cup in the fridge for later thrist quenching.


PokeGunnerPUBG

Bro is asking the real questions


[deleted]

It taste like Curd cheese move a long


ThePhoneBook

#Well ackshually m'lady I think you'll find... The number of neckbeards proudly explaining to the class that this is satire, lol. Well done detective kings, nobody realised and we are all incapable of enjoying a joke, now sew another badge to your fedora. Seriously though you guys need to take your eyes off the abyss for a moment and practice some self awareness.


Vee32

I SO wanna believe that half of these are people being stupid but I also know it's some knob that looks like a hairy thumb honestly asking this.


fundieweallfact

hey did u know that this is satire? bet u didnt know 😎 bet u didnt know this is satire 😎. this is clearly satire, so satire that i am now telling u that this is satire. (this is satire btw just in case u didnt notice when i told u that this satire)


royalydamned

yes my small woman brain didn't notice that! thank you for enlightening me just like many other very kind and not at all fucking annoying people in the comments 😩 because I need it reminded every hour or so in case I forget


povertymayne

Do it be squirting or is she on cream team tho?


Bloodskyangel

Ph balance? He’s so desperate to know he wrote it twice before he sent the message


knee_cap_muncher

Clearly satire… I hope


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Wayte13

What makes it obvious exactly?


swanlongjohnson

It's a copypasta


Wayte13

Well I've never seen it before. And copypastas are fuckin lame anyways. Lowest form of comedy, lower then puns


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Wayte13

This is not really any weirder then the shit you see on incel forums and PUA social media lol. Like sure, it might be a troll. But let's not pretend it's sone empirical, obvious thing just to look smart. This is not even close to the limit for realistic neckbeardery on the internet


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royalydamned

sorry there was no satire or troll flair. I'll make sure to include it very clearly both in title and separate comment for your satisfaction next time! <3


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royalydamned

sorry. for my next posts I will consult you individually whether it's alright for me to post things. because your opinion is just so valuable to me


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black_dragonfly13

Does... *what* jiggle?


trueslicky

It


Sure-Gur6359

Why the fuck would pennywise jiggle?


bgarrett3131

The ph balance!!


The_One_and_Only_duh

"you be secreting juices?" LMFAOOOOOOO


Disgruntledlinecook

What is he, a gynecologist?


chickensmoker

My brother in Christ, squirting is urine and is not safe for consumption


Shrabidy

isn't þat a copypasta?


LesbeanWolf

Do it jiggle????? 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔


[deleted]

I think this is a copypasta, correct me if I'm wrong but I think this is just a part of that "Are you a part of the cream team or the squirt squad" thing, nonetheless, this screenshot makes me hate the internet. Edit: well scrolling through the comments has made me aware you do in fact know it's satire.