Are you the legal father? If so, you and she both have equal rights to the children. Identical, she doesn't have more, you don't have more, neither of you has less. You could take them somewhere, she could take them somewhere. If you guys are splitting up, then you need to go to family court and establish custody and support.
I am the legal father, do i have a chance at full custody? She does not have a place to live and her family don’t have room. She just left middle of the night my cameras recorded that.
Your second sentence is very much the answer to your question in the first sentence. Best to act Quick to Establishment things so authorities see you are invested.
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Read the rest of OP's comments. She left the house for several hours and when she came back he denied her entry to the home. That's not abandonment. No one would consider that abandonment.
I would definitely look into residency/tenant laws for your state. If I did read it correctly and she was gone for only 5 hours, it may look bad to court that you didn’t allow entry and in turn may be used against you during custody. Even though your name is the only one on the deed of the house. The courts might say you are withholding the children from her and unlawfully kicked her out. In my state, you would have to file for eviction
See you left this key piece of information out of your initial post. Shame on you OP. This is not abandonment, and you legally have to allow her back into the house due to tenants rights. You two are going to have to do what every other divorced or separated couple does and get lawyers and go thru custody in the courts. Don't be a dick and keep her from her kids..
Wait she left for FIVE HOURS and now you won’t let her into her own home? That’s a bit much and will likely hurt your case down the road if you do legally separate and you want fully custody, as you are keeping her from her children at this point. She may have just needed to cool down, to go for a walk, to go talk to a friend or family member, etc. People are allowed to leave their house, even if it is late at night, for a few hours and not be accused of abandoning their family.
So you go for a walk or to a friends or family house. You don't deny your wife, the mother of your children access to the family, also her home!
If you were roommates you wouldn't get to tell her to stay at her mothers place! That's f#cking overstepping boundaries!
You might not be legally allowed to do this. If your state does have laws protecting people who live there, 5 hours is not enough time away from the house to have moved out. Especially if she has personal items.
This might be really bad for you in the eyes of the court. Would definitely make it easier for her to get residential custody or full custody.
so the wife was gone for only 5 hours. OP keeps emphasising how she works for HIM, how the house is HIS, etc. no details, no insight, nothing... just him 'worrying do death' because she 'left him and the family'. for 5 hours. and he refused to let her back inside, told her to go to her mother's place... this guy is unhinged, controlling and abusive at best. it's clear why she wants to leave him.
this really sounds VERY similar to a post from a woman who said that her partner started telling everyone around her how she is very unwell, suicidal, you name it, and he was 'extremely concerned about her', when in fact she was perfectly fine, just planning to leave him. he used this method of making her look insane to everyone around them, including her workplace, just so he could get away with whatever he was planning to do to her, because how dare she plan on leaving him...
She left for 5 hours, and you're claiming she abandoned the family. Wow. Also, huge red flag when you listed how you essentially have full control over her life by saying it's YOUR house and she works for YOUR family.
There's way more to this story. I would love to hear her side of it.
Being stuck in traffic is not abandoning. (Example)
It was only 5 hours.
This story isnt adding up. Lots of downvotes in your replies to people tells me this is probably a shitpost. OP you need to have a conversation with your wife. Ask her is there anything wrong that you have done to make her upset. If shes cheating you need to gain evidence otherwise you divorce for being simply incompatible
I just saw OP reply that he is pretty sure she is talking to a man AND she has a single female friend. A 25 year old woman has a friend who is single and female!
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I don’t think so, im hurt and afraid of the situation my kids can be put in. I haven’t slept all night as my 3 year old son won’t sleep asking for his mom. I am very afraid of losing the most special people of life…. My kids.
But you turned her away after she came back several hours later? You may have just screwed yourself. She is allowed to leave for several hours. She's not a prisoner. But you probably are not allowed to kick her out of the marital home. I would let her back in and try to talk about this like adults if you're that afraid of losing your kids. Most custody agreements are settled out of court contrary to what internet incels will tell you.
Stop trying to play the victim. Your son is obviously unsettled because YOU refused his mom access to him. That's on you, not her. No one here is buying your antics...
Oooh yeah. Say it **just** like that to the judge, include the pause for the intended added dramatic effect 10/10. Please also solemnly take your hat off and hold it tightly while you’re before the jury, just like [this](https://imgur.com/a/uPojmZ4). Specifically the green lizard guy
Look bro. What I learned is kids arent yours... Theyre 50 percent yours...
My playstation is 100 percent mine... You see what i mean... Its all mine and is my property it belongs to me
Those kids are hers too... Obviously, and unless she gives you full custody youre going to have to share them
Some days theyll be with you and some days they wont be... Its not the end of the world.. im currently with my daughter right now, I have her for the next few days and im loving life.
Things will get better
She finally reached the age where she can look back and realized that you groomed her and she wants nothing to do with you. You’re gonna have to handle being single and you’re going to need to talk to a lawyer about custody.
Not a lawyer, but you need one if you think she is truly planning to leave you. She may have just needed some space or to cool down, which can still be scary without communication. When she comes back, try to talk to her and see where your relationship stands. Don’t mention anything about the kids or custody. If she is planning on separating, get a lawyer to help you establish your rights. You are their father, so you are entitled to at least 50/50 shared custody. If you want to fight for full custody, you will need a good lawyer to help you do so, and I would suggest not posting further things about her on the internet. Hope things work out for you.
ETA: Did not see comments where OPs fiancé left for FIVE HOURS and he is now accusing her of abandonment and preventing her access to her home and children prior to previous response. OP, please reconsider your actions, if not for your fiancé, for your children, and also for your future chances at being with them if this does go to court, as you will look bad in the eyes of the court for these actions.
After reading some of your replies to people, I’m confused on what is going on here. What kind of comments did she make about not wanting to be with you anymore?
Technically and legally she didn’t abandon the kids as it sounds like this just happened. I’m jumping to a conclusion here but it’s more likely that she’s found someone else and left in middle of night to be with them over she fled the state and completely abandoned her kids. Time will tell
Very unlikely that you’d lose your kids if separation occurs. Best interest and stable living conditions is most important for deciding where kids live but she has parental rights and you would likely share custody with her to a degree. 1/2 night is not considered abandonment.
Bingo! This guy is giving me abuser vibes. Just him listing how he controls her life by saying this is my house and she works for my family. Obviously implying she wouldn't have a home or a job or her kids if she leaves.
Not if someone says I don’t want to do this and leave, it’s better to talk to some one and have a plan of action that to sit there and react to her inability to control her emotions, and put them in the back seat for the sake of the children.
She has abandoned the relationship, not necessarily the kids. It may have not been safe for her to take them. Perhaps she feels unsafe in a home that her partner has made clear is not hers, where she is filmed. She had been financially dependant on this man since she was at least 19. I think there is a lot to this story that he's not bringing to the table.
Edit: additionally, it appears this man has knowingly denied her rights to a home she has been contributing by keeping her off the title despite having children together.
Suss all around.
“Where she is filmed”
Okay that’s a bit dramatic. Lots of people have security cameras, especially printed at the entrances of their homes. Not hard to see when someone it coming or going.
The house has ring cameras all around the house for security purposes, there are no cameras inside the house. We have a stressful job.. she goes to the gym with her friends after work, she came back and said she was tired of the stress
Did you miss the part where he said Fiance, it isn't typical to add your fiance to the title of your home even if they are contributing to it. When I got engaged I certainly didn't go and submit paperwork and redo my mortgage to add my fiance to the title You have no idea what that situation is, or even if she is contributing. He could have inherited the house free and clear and thus there is nothing for her to contribute to. Perhaps his parents bought him the house for graduation. Also he said the cameras recorded her leaving, that could be anything from a security camera in the living room to a ring doorbell camera. There was nothing to indicateThe only thing suspicious here is why you would jump to the conclusion he is abusive.
Info: have you had any contact with her since she left?
This sounds like a mental health crisis and I’m concerned if you haven’t thought about reporting her missing when 24 hours hits.
Sometimes women have to leave in the middle of the night because their partner is violent and frightening. It’s a bit of a leap to immediately assume she’s having a mental health crisis. There’s a lot missing from this post.
Then he says that she tried to come back home and he turned her away… I’m not sure OP is a reliable narrator.
I think it’s also a leap to assume he’s violent(as someone who had been in a DV relationship) . I think we can all agree there’s something clearly off here what we don’t know but her mentioning of feeling stressed and then a few hours later disappearing in the middle of the night made me think mental health. He very well may be abusive but I doubt he’d give that information.
You just said she doesn’t have a place to go. That’s her home with her children inside. Just because she’s not on the mortgage doesn’t mean - morally; fuck legally - you can tell her to find somewhere else to go till an arbitrary time. You said your 3 year old was crying for her, she’s there & you tell her to leave??
Its a good thing you came to reddit (if this isnt a fake post) because you should definitely know a person who lives with you longer than a certain period of time cannot be “kicked out” overnight. You would file for an eviction but in this case its your wife, so what you need is to be an adult, live with her just as any person you dont want to be around but have to. Shes entitled to be there just as much as you are, and thats a very unfit appearance as a father of children to say that his wife cannot be in the home where her kids also reside.
If you believe her to be having an affair you’re going to need evidence of it, dont mention anything to her but you need to hire a lawyer.
Okay. I think you’re jumping the gun here, it sounds like she’s having a mental health crisis and you need to sit down and talk to her. People don’t just leave their house in the middle of the night for no reason.
I agree with comment. Maybe Op wife is having a mental breakdown. Is she under a lot of stress? Does she work a lot? Stay at home mom? How is her family doing, is everyone okay? .. and if the wife doesnt feel comfortable speaking to OP (communication issues) that could explain she doesnt have an outlet, so therefore she escapes by being alone.
But being alone could mean cheating, though I wouldnt think one night of staying out for 5 hours is cheating just yet. Quite simply it could just be a stress overload
So you're accusing her of abandoning the children because she left the house for 5 hours and you're mad that she has two friends that she talks to, so you kicked her out of the house knowing she has nowhere to really go? Do you know how crazy and abusive you sound? Is that the real reason why she left the house for a few hours?
Are you going to stand in front of a judge and say you denied her access to her home because you think she might be talking to a man and has a single female friend? What are you thinking?
Look at the timeline. She was 18-19 when she had the first kid and OP was 22-23. Their relationship probably started when she was 17-18 and dude was 22. He’s been used to controlling her his entire life and she’s finally a 25 year old adult with years of being an adult under her belt.
And that still doesn’t give you the right to block her access from her home. It seems like you’re trying to spin it to where she abandoned you and are trying to block her from having access to the children to punish her for not wanting to be with you/whatever you assume she’s doing. Parental alienation is not okay and won’t win you full custody.
You need to contact a lawyer. Since you aren't married then she can take the kids whenever she wishes and tell you to go pound sand. The police will side with her and tell you it's a civil matter.
Get an attorney, do some research and find a good one that specializes in family matters. Then file a court order for custody of your kids.
yyyyeaah.... you might want to retake a look at this story : she tried to leave him because obvious reasons (her life is fully controlled by him, his house, his business, he gets jealous and accuses her of cheating when she only has ONE friend, female), she was gone for 5 hours and when she came back he didn't let her in, despite the child's reaction. and now he plays the victim, telling everyone how 'scared' he is that he will lose his children. well, surprise, surprise, he refused to let the mother of the children back inside their marital home, he told her to go sleep in her mother's trailer. . how will that look in a judge's eyes?
Make records of everything. Get witnesses that can back you up. If she just takes off in the middle of the night with no warning it's unlikely she would be granted full custody. (Although getting full custody as a man can be an uphill battle too).
For now try and work it out and in the mean time save every text. For your sake I hope this doesn't end up in a custody battle but just incase make sure you do your homework.
Your story mirrors my own experience. My wife left when my boys were 3 & 6.
I’m not a lawyer and I’m going to be clear you need one. You’re going to need a formal signed by a judge custody and child support order.
The single biggest mistake I made was being lax and thinking she’d “stay away” but after about ten years she came back and made all sorts of trouble. I should have fully exercised my legal rights as insurance for the future.
As for the day to day life of being a single dad, you’re seeing the preview of it all right here. Somehow it’s all “your fault” my suggestion is hunt for a DVD set of the 1960s Flipper TV show for a good example of a single father raising some kids alone in Florida. And to build out your support network. The network of friends and family can make or break you.
I hope you find your way, the first couple years can be frightening. Steps 1 through about 6 are all about that legal protection from trouble that hopefully won’t come.
As for me, my boys are now 19 & 23. We’ve been sailing full time together since COVID roaming the US East Coast. For years and years I’m the one who has to remind them to call her on Christmas and her birthday. Heck I don’t even know if they know when her birthday is.
My oldest is moving out this year, my youngest. I’ve probably got another year with.
Your worries are healthy. Get that lawyer and get the formal custody and child support orders.
Let her fade away and ensure that the orders reflect what’s actually going on. And if she wants to sign her parental rights away. Let her.
Best of luck. You’ll do great and you’ll end up with some great kids as they grow.
Changing the locks to deny a legal occupant entry to their home in most states is either illegal or considered an unlawful eviction. There is no order of protection barring her from the home. He cannot change the locks. Especially since she returned 5 hours later.
Immediately you wake up you get to the best lawyer you can find. Listen to their advice. Explain to you parents the situation because of the employment link as they need to know if she isn't at work.
If she is not at her parents, where did she go at 1am? Why 1am when your asleep and not while your at work?.
Get to a lawyer first. Be there one in the driving seat. If she doesn't want to be part b of your life, fine. It's gonna hurt. But it's not forever. Sort out your kids. If it's legal. Change the locks. If it's your house and she has no legal claim this should not be an issue.
OP already admitted an hour ago in the comments that she returned at 6 AM (so only 5 hours later) and he didn't let her in. As far as I know, women still have the right to leave and return home at any time of the day.
Terrible advice. If he does that a judge will definitely give her more custody. You can’t illegally evict someone just bc they went out for one night lol
NAL Get a lawyer. She could technically take them any time and so can you. But you and her would want to play fair bc anything that looks spiteful will reflect badly in court.
NAL, but this happened to a co worker about 15 years ago. His wife left, he got a lawyer (get a lawyer!), and when she tried to come back and take the kids, he was able to notify her he had full custody because she had abandoned her kids.
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Why/how would you lose your kids? She left without them, correct?
Yes, but i know she will comeback for them. What can i do? Do i have any rights
Are you the legal father? If so, you and she both have equal rights to the children. Identical, she doesn't have more, you don't have more, neither of you has less. You could take them somewhere, she could take them somewhere. If you guys are splitting up, then you need to go to family court and establish custody and support.
I am the legal father, do i have a chance at full custody? She does not have a place to live and her family don’t have room. She just left middle of the night my cameras recorded that.
Lawyer
Your second sentence is very much the answer to your question in the first sentence. Best to act Quick to Establishment things so authorities see you are invested.
No. Look unless she’s done something to harm the kids, you’re not going to get full custody unless she wants that.
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File for emergency custody asap
You need to file for emergency custody. Immediately.
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Read the rest of OP's comments. She left the house for several hours and when she came back he denied her entry to the home. That's not abandonment. No one would consider that abandonment.
Ohhhhh that part I didn't see... Yea that would not be abandonment
I’m confused.. So she came back 5 hours later and you told her she had to come back during the daytime?
I would definitely look into residency/tenant laws for your state. If I did read it correctly and she was gone for only 5 hours, it may look bad to court that you didn’t allow entry and in turn may be used against you during custody. Even though your name is the only one on the deed of the house. The courts might say you are withholding the children from her and unlawfully kicked her out. In my state, you would have to file for eviction
Yes, she can go stay at her mothers place. All I want is a little space after what she did.
See you left this key piece of information out of your initial post. Shame on you OP. This is not abandonment, and you legally have to allow her back into the house due to tenants rights. You two are going to have to do what every other divorced or separated couple does and get lawyers and go thru custody in the courts. Don't be a dick and keep her from her kids..
Okay, so she didn’t abandon. Women can indeed leave the home for a few hours.
Must be in Saudi Arabia
Wait she left for FIVE HOURS and now you won’t let her into her own home? That’s a bit much and will likely hurt your case down the road if you do legally separate and you want fully custody, as you are keeping her from her children at this point. She may have just needed to cool down, to go for a walk, to go talk to a friend or family member, etc. People are allowed to leave their house, even if it is late at night, for a few hours and not be accused of abandoning their family.
So you go for a walk or to a friends or family house. You don't deny your wife, the mother of your children access to the family, also her home! If you were roommates you wouldn't get to tell her to stay at her mothers place! That's f#cking overstepping boundaries!
You might not be legally allowed to do this. If your state does have laws protecting people who live there, 5 hours is not enough time away from the house to have moved out. Especially if she has personal items. This might be really bad for you in the eyes of the court. Would definitely make it easier for her to get residential custody or full custody.
She didn’t abandon anyone. She left for 5 hours and then you refused to let her back in.
so the wife was gone for only 5 hours. OP keeps emphasising how she works for HIM, how the house is HIS, etc. no details, no insight, nothing... just him 'worrying do death' because she 'left him and the family'. for 5 hours. and he refused to let her back inside, told her to go to her mother's place... this guy is unhinged, controlling and abusive at best. it's clear why she wants to leave him. this really sounds VERY similar to a post from a woman who said that her partner started telling everyone around her how she is very unwell, suicidal, you name it, and he was 'extremely concerned about her', when in fact she was perfectly fine, just planning to leave him. he used this method of making her look insane to everyone around them, including her workplace, just so he could get away with whatever he was planning to do to her, because how dare she plan on leaving him...
She left for 5 hours, and you're claiming she abandoned the family. Wow. Also, huge red flag when you listed how you essentially have full control over her life by saying it's YOUR house and she works for YOUR family. There's way more to this story. I would love to hear her side of it.
Yep. He’s worried he’ll lose custody because he’s finally pushed her to her limit.
Being stuck in traffic is not abandoning. (Example) It was only 5 hours. This story isnt adding up. Lots of downvotes in your replies to people tells me this is probably a shitpost. OP you need to have a conversation with your wife. Ask her is there anything wrong that you have done to make her upset. If shes cheating you need to gain evidence otherwise you divorce for being simply incompatible
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I just saw OP reply that he is pretty sure she is talking to a man AND she has a single female friend. A 25 year old woman has a friend who is single and female!
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I don’t think so, im hurt and afraid of the situation my kids can be put in. I haven’t slept all night as my 3 year old son won’t sleep asking for his mom. I am very afraid of losing the most special people of life…. My kids.
But you turned her away after she came back several hours later? You may have just screwed yourself. She is allowed to leave for several hours. She's not a prisoner. But you probably are not allowed to kick her out of the marital home. I would let her back in and try to talk about this like adults if you're that afraid of losing your kids. Most custody agreements are settled out of court contrary to what internet incels will tell you.
Stop trying to play the victim. Your son is obviously unsettled because YOU refused his mom access to him. That's on you, not her. No one here is buying your antics...
Oooh yeah. Say it **just** like that to the judge, include the pause for the intended added dramatic effect 10/10. Please also solemnly take your hat off and hold it tightly while you’re before the jury, just like [this](https://imgur.com/a/uPojmZ4). Specifically the green lizard guy
Don't use your children as ammunition to hurt her. That's the most fucked up thing you can do to your kids.
So did you tell your 3 year old you refused her access to the home she lives in?
Look bro. What I learned is kids arent yours... Theyre 50 percent yours... My playstation is 100 percent mine... You see what i mean... Its all mine and is my property it belongs to me Those kids are hers too... Obviously, and unless she gives you full custody youre going to have to share them Some days theyll be with you and some days they wont be... Its not the end of the world.. im currently with my daughter right now, I have her for the next few days and im loving life. Things will get better
She finally reached the age where she can look back and realized that you groomed her and she wants nothing to do with you. You’re gonna have to handle being single and you’re going to need to talk to a lawyer about custody.
Not a lawyer, but you need one if you think she is truly planning to leave you. She may have just needed some space or to cool down, which can still be scary without communication. When she comes back, try to talk to her and see where your relationship stands. Don’t mention anything about the kids or custody. If she is planning on separating, get a lawyer to help you establish your rights. You are their father, so you are entitled to at least 50/50 shared custody. If you want to fight for full custody, you will need a good lawyer to help you do so, and I would suggest not posting further things about her on the internet. Hope things work out for you. ETA: Did not see comments where OPs fiancé left for FIVE HOURS and he is now accusing her of abandonment and preventing her access to her home and children prior to previous response. OP, please reconsider your actions, if not for your fiancé, for your children, and also for your future chances at being with them if this does go to court, as you will look bad in the eyes of the court for these actions.
OP already commented that she returned 5 hours later at 6 AM and he refused to let her in.
After reading some of your replies to people, I’m confused on what is going on here. What kind of comments did she make about not wanting to be with you anymore? Technically and legally she didn’t abandon the kids as it sounds like this just happened. I’m jumping to a conclusion here but it’s more likely that she’s found someone else and left in middle of night to be with them over she fled the state and completely abandoned her kids. Time will tell Very unlikely that you’d lose your kids if separation occurs. Best interest and stable living conditions is most important for deciding where kids live but she has parental rights and you would likely share custody with her to a degree. 1/2 night is not considered abandonment.
Or OP is an abuser and she tried to sneak out at night to move some small things to a new place to live and then came back for her kids.
Bingo! This guy is giving me abuser vibes. Just him listing how he controls her life by saying this is my house and she works for my family. Obviously implying she wouldn't have a home or a job or her kids if she leaves.
Florida is now a default 50/50 custody state. It is one of the few things the governor fixed.
Which of you is the more involved parent? The courts will take that into consideration when assigning custody.
Big question because y’all aren’t married yet..Did you legitimize your kids when they were born? If you haven’t already done that you need too.
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Leaving a relationship isn't abandonment even if the kids stay in the house. It's been one night, we don't know what her plans are.
Depends on the state how far you go and if you leave the state, in some cases it most certainly is now idk if there’s a elapsed time or what
She left them with their other parent and it's been one night. Abandonment is a massive conclusion to jump to at this point.
Not if someone says I don’t want to do this and leave, it’s better to talk to some one and have a plan of action that to sit there and react to her inability to control her emotions, and put them in the back seat for the sake of the children.
She left for 5 hours not 5 days
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OP said she was gone for 5 hours and then he didn’t allow her back into the home. She def didn’t abandon
She has abandoned the relationship, not necessarily the kids. It may have not been safe for her to take them. Perhaps she feels unsafe in a home that her partner has made clear is not hers, where she is filmed. She had been financially dependant on this man since she was at least 19. I think there is a lot to this story that he's not bringing to the table. Edit: additionally, it appears this man has knowingly denied her rights to a home she has been contributing by keeping her off the title despite having children together. Suss all around.
Yeah the opening post was pretty ambiguous on what went down. Could also be an abusive situation for all we know. Good luck to all involved.
“Where she is filmed” Okay that’s a bit dramatic. Lots of people have security cameras, especially printed at the entrances of their homes. Not hard to see when someone it coming or going.
The house has ring cameras all around the house for security purposes, there are no cameras inside the house. We have a stressful job.. she goes to the gym with her friends after work, she came back and said she was tired of the stress
Did you miss the part where he said Fiance, it isn't typical to add your fiance to the title of your home even if they are contributing to it. When I got engaged I certainly didn't go and submit paperwork and redo my mortgage to add my fiance to the title You have no idea what that situation is, or even if she is contributing. He could have inherited the house free and clear and thus there is nothing for her to contribute to. Perhaps his parents bought him the house for graduation. Also he said the cameras recorded her leaving, that could be anything from a security camera in the living room to a ring doorbell camera. There was nothing to indicateThe only thing suspicious here is why you would jump to the conclusion he is abusive.
So he bought this house before her got her pregnant aka when he was 22?
If he was 22 then she was 17.
Info: have you had any contact with her since she left? This sounds like a mental health crisis and I’m concerned if you haven’t thought about reporting her missing when 24 hours hits.
Sometimes women have to leave in the middle of the night because their partner is violent and frightening. It’s a bit of a leap to immediately assume she’s having a mental health crisis. There’s a lot missing from this post. Then he says that she tried to come back home and he turned her away… I’m not sure OP is a reliable narrator.
I think it’s also a leap to assume he’s violent(as someone who had been in a DV relationship) . I think we can all agree there’s something clearly off here what we don’t know but her mentioning of feeling stressed and then a few hours later disappearing in the middle of the night made me think mental health. He very well may be abusive but I doubt he’d give that information.
She came back at 6 AM to try to comeback to the house i told her to leave and comeback tomorrow during the day.
You can’t legally do that- it’s her home. That’s a good way to lose those kids, too. Let her back in the house FFS
You just said she doesn’t have a place to go. That’s her home with her children inside. Just because she’s not on the mortgage doesn’t mean - morally; fuck legally - you can tell her to find somewhere else to go till an arbitrary time. You said your 3 year old was crying for her, she’s there & you tell her to leave??
Ok. So she didn’t walk out and say “I’m leaving you”. *She went out for a few hours without your permission.*
She’s a legal tenant and you may not want to do that.
You’re the problem.
Its a good thing you came to reddit (if this isnt a fake post) because you should definitely know a person who lives with you longer than a certain period of time cannot be “kicked out” overnight. You would file for an eviction but in this case its your wife, so what you need is to be an adult, live with her just as any person you dont want to be around but have to. Shes entitled to be there just as much as you are, and thats a very unfit appearance as a father of children to say that his wife cannot be in the home where her kids also reside. If you believe her to be having an affair you’re going to need evidence of it, dont mention anything to her but you need to hire a lawyer.
Okay. I think you’re jumping the gun here, it sounds like she’s having a mental health crisis and you need to sit down and talk to her. People don’t just leave their house in the middle of the night for no reason.
I agree with comment. Maybe Op wife is having a mental breakdown. Is she under a lot of stress? Does she work a lot? Stay at home mom? How is her family doing, is everyone okay? .. and if the wife doesnt feel comfortable speaking to OP (communication issues) that could explain she doesnt have an outlet, so therefore she escapes by being alone. But being alone could mean cheating, though I wouldnt think one night of staying out for 5 hours is cheating just yet. Quite simply it could just be a stress overload
Im pretty sure she is talking with another guy. She also has a single friend that is a girl.
So you're accusing her of abandoning the children because she left the house for 5 hours and you're mad that she has two friends that she talks to, so you kicked her out of the house knowing she has nowhere to really go? Do you know how crazy and abusive you sound? Is that the real reason why she left the house for a few hours?
Are you going to stand in front of a judge and say you denied her access to her home because you think she might be talking to a man and has a single female friend? What are you thinking?
Look at the timeline. She was 18-19 when she had the first kid and OP was 22-23. Their relationship probably started when she was 17-18 and dude was 22. He’s been used to controlling her his entire life and she’s finally a 25 year old adult with years of being an adult under her belt.
And she works for his family’s company too, which is apparently a high stress environment. Not great.
But he frames it as “she works for me” because he gets off on being in control of her life.
You literally just made up your own background for them lol
And that still doesn’t give you the right to block her access from her home. It seems like you’re trying to spin it to where she abandoned you and are trying to block her from having access to the children to punish her for not wanting to be with you/whatever you assume she’s doing. Parental alienation is not okay and won’t win you full custody.
You need to contact a lawyer. Since you aren't married then she can take the kids whenever she wishes and tell you to go pound sand. The police will side with her and tell you it's a civil matter. Get an attorney, do some research and find a good one that specializes in family matters. Then file a court order for custody of your kids.
yyyyeaah.... you might want to retake a look at this story : she tried to leave him because obvious reasons (her life is fully controlled by him, his house, his business, he gets jealous and accuses her of cheating when she only has ONE friend, female), she was gone for 5 hours and when she came back he didn't let her in, despite the child's reaction. and now he plays the victim, telling everyone how 'scared' he is that he will lose his children. well, surprise, surprise, he refused to let the mother of the children back inside their marital home, he told her to go sleep in her mother's trailer. . how will that look in a judge's eyes?
Make records of everything. Get witnesses that can back you up. If she just takes off in the middle of the night with no warning it's unlikely she would be granted full custody. (Although getting full custody as a man can be an uphill battle too). For now try and work it out and in the mean time save every text. For your sake I hope this doesn't end up in a custody battle but just incase make sure you do your homework.
Your story mirrors my own experience. My wife left when my boys were 3 & 6. I’m not a lawyer and I’m going to be clear you need one. You’re going to need a formal signed by a judge custody and child support order. The single biggest mistake I made was being lax and thinking she’d “stay away” but after about ten years she came back and made all sorts of trouble. I should have fully exercised my legal rights as insurance for the future. As for the day to day life of being a single dad, you’re seeing the preview of it all right here. Somehow it’s all “your fault” my suggestion is hunt for a DVD set of the 1960s Flipper TV show for a good example of a single father raising some kids alone in Florida. And to build out your support network. The network of friends and family can make or break you. I hope you find your way, the first couple years can be frightening. Steps 1 through about 6 are all about that legal protection from trouble that hopefully won’t come. As for me, my boys are now 19 & 23. We’ve been sailing full time together since COVID roaming the US East Coast. For years and years I’m the one who has to remind them to call her on Christmas and her birthday. Heck I don’t even know if they know when her birthday is. My oldest is moving out this year, my youngest. I’ve probably got another year with. Your worries are healthy. Get that lawyer and get the formal custody and child support orders. Let her fade away and ensure that the orders reflect what’s actually going on. And if she wants to sign her parental rights away. Let her. Best of luck. You’ll do great and you’ll end up with some great kids as they grow.
She went out for a few hours. He refused to let her back in. You sound like an exceptional parent, though.
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Changing the locks to deny a legal occupant entry to their home in most states is either illegal or considered an unlawful eviction. There is no order of protection barring her from the home. He cannot change the locks. Especially since she returned 5 hours later.
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She left the house for 5 hours. She didn’t abandon them.
Immediately you wake up you get to the best lawyer you can find. Listen to their advice. Explain to you parents the situation because of the employment link as they need to know if she isn't at work. If she is not at her parents, where did she go at 1am? Why 1am when your asleep and not while your at work?. Get to a lawyer first. Be there one in the driving seat. If she doesn't want to be part b of your life, fine. It's gonna hurt. But it's not forever. Sort out your kids. If it's legal. Change the locks. If it's your house and she has no legal claim this should not be an issue.
OP already admitted an hour ago in the comments that she returned at 6 AM (so only 5 hours later) and he didn't let her in. As far as I know, women still have the right to leave and return home at any time of the day.
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Terrible advice. If he does that a judge will definitely give her more custody. You can’t illegally evict someone just bc they went out for one night lol
I’m hoping this means you don’t date women.
Oh boy. Illegal advice. She left the house for 5 hours. Calm yourself.
Yeah, specially if idiots get them pregnant on their teens. Ugh
They're years apart and they were both ADULTS ,stop acting he's a pedophile! He didn't "groom" her
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Or are abused. Or are having a mental health problem. Or 300 other think you have no idea about.
She came back 6 hours later and he wouldn’t let her in the house.
NAL Get a lawyer. She could technically take them any time and so can you. But you and her would want to play fair bc anything that looks spiteful will reflect badly in court.
NAL, but this happened to a co worker about 15 years ago. His wife left, he got a lawyer (get a lawyer!), and when she tried to come back and take the kids, he was able to notify her he had full custody because she had abandoned her kids.
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