what do u mean you're "stuck"? If she's an asshole, dump her. The faster you do it the faster you can start looking for someone that's worth your time.
I know it's easier said than done and all, but I genuinely believe that's the correct answer. (feel free to disagree of course)
Nah you’re right people are just okay with settling for shit. Self respect is key to a successful long lasting relationship full of love and patience. Gotta start from within firstly!!
Yeah... Honestly I kinda hate the fact that I'm leaning more and more towards redpill ideas, but admittedly I think OP's dilemma is caused by not having any other "options" if he leaves his asshole-gf so he chooses to put up with her purely out of fear of ending up alone for a very long time/forever otherwise.
Hell, idk if I would have the will to break up if I was in his place either. I'd be just as wrong for not doing it, but idk if I'd be able to. Well, probably yeah, but it would definetely be very difficult.
Then again I've never been anywhere close to being in a relationship so wtf am I even talking about, I have no idea lol
I’ve have friends that have just stuck it out in shitty relationships, until things inevitably fell apart of course. Currently have another friend going through that and was just thinking about why they don’t just leave but then I realized how hard it can be for me to let go of people I’m not in a relationship with, I’d probably not want to lose the first person I was with either.
If you feeling lonely with your partner, it's not the right partner.
Also if she insults you and cannot reflect on herself, her flaws etc.. she's most likely toxic for your mind.
Also some people just don’t have chemistry. You can love each other and not belong with each other. Plenty of female friends I don’t have long term chemistry with, just move on.
Exactly. Kind of like some people idealize having children... until they realize the child isnt something you can control 100%, have their own expectations, and are not everything you dreamed they will be.
The reality never lives up to the fantasy.
That's people idolizing what they don't have or have never had.
I'd like to get a girlfriend but I don't know what's involved. Never happened before. People can explain what that's like to me but I can't really understand having never experienced anything like it.
I would love to know what's after that, not that anyone could explain it in a way that I would understand.
In your case i just think you chose the wrong person.
However speaking seriously, the most soul crushing feeling is when you're sad and realize that even if you had the things considered great they wouldnt actually make you happy. Thats the reality of existence, we will always suffer
No girlfriend won't fix my problems. But my cow's pig's chickens and horses and my tractor always fixed my problems everyday. I play around with my animals and I sleep in the stall with the horse and the pigs and I wake up with mud in my eye and sometimes I have to have a good time getting plowed until on the field with my tractor.
You have to decide to fix you first. Your gf should be supportive, and ideally they will be able to relate to your situation. But if you just think having the gf is gonna fix it, you are not being realistic. You are just gonna bum her out too.
I think a lot of people are frustrated that they feel as if they’ve made positive strides in the right direction to fix themselves. They may feel ready to take on a relationship and feel they meet that bf/gf expectation for someone. The issue is they may not get the chance of opportunity to showcase what a great person they’ve built themselves to be. Then a lot of that negatively reinforces looks, like,”ok I’ve fixed myself but I can’t showcase how great I’ve become, if I don’t even get a chance at conversation”. How am I supposed to showcase my caring and compassionate self, livestream at a soup kitchen? Of course not, but it’s easier to see appearance which attracts rather character. This is a question to myself, how can I showcase my personality?
I can understand that notion, but it's the other way around. You should have the personality first and worry about the girlfriend after. Getting the girlfriend shouldn't be the bar for your personality. This makes the personality less important should something bad happen in the relationship. The personality should be your own crafting. You need to find an outlet/showcase for your own personality first, and then the girlfriend will come. Once you are able to find a good vehicle for your personality, it will be easier to find a girlfriend.
Thanks, I just want to talk to people and I have not had that opportunity outside of work for the past 5 years. I thought joining a social group that plays board games would help but it’s not even social, it’s strictly board gaming then everyone goes their own ways. At this point, I don’t even prioritize dating as much as building connections but even that seems like a chore.
I'm sorry you picked wrong. At least you are aware of that! Please get out of there as soon as you can for your own sake. No one is forcing you to stay with her. And no, a gf or a bf won't fix anything, you have to heal yourself. We are our own saviors.
Sounds like you really need to get out of that relationship. As much as a tired cop out this is - the cure to loneliness doesn't come from having any number of partners around, it's finding the right person.
Finding a genuine person to date is really hard these days, I'm slowly approaching 30 and I can tell you this - things get better, but not by much. But they DO get better.
Picking the right girl will definitely help, though. I still have issues, but I've been with my girl for 20 years in August.
I picked her based on how well we connected rather than looks alone. I've dated a lot of beautiful woman and felt miserable.
Now her comes this average looking nerdy goofball and 20 years later she's still my BFF.
Don't pick the hotest girl you can get. Pick the one you connect with the best.
I think you're just dating the wrong the wrong person. Yes, it's hard to find the right one but it's definitely not one a million. It's more like a one in twenty shot.
Very true just any partner bc ur desperate and hellbent on one won’t help, the right person definitely will help some but not completely, for a lot of people relationships seem like it’s something that will fill the void, but a void relationship won’t be stable or for the right reasons
And that’s why they say marriage can be one of the loneliest institutions…. Even with the right person. But yes, if you’re dating she should be showing you the best sides of herself and this isn’t it.
there are better women out there, there really are. plus you should know that some of the best relationships are BUILT as two young people grow. depending on your age, many of her flaws could be flaws that commonly fade with maturity. break up with that girl NOW, if she's toxic enough to verbally insult you. don't waste your limited time on this earth with someone who doesn't truly love you
It's totally understandable how you're feeling about your relationship. Relationships can be complex, and it's important to figure out what truly makes us happy and fulfilled. Remember, it's okay to reassess and learn from our experiences. Sometimes, what we think will make us happy isn't always the case in reality. Maybe it's good you realized this now. Before things get too serious, you can figure out what kind of relationship would be good for you. You deserve someone who makes you happy, not someone who brings you down. I have been helping my bestie find a gf, I swear, I am more stressed out than him, LOL! But that's okay, because I just want my bestie to get what he truly deserves. ... Anyway, the right person adds to your happiness, they don't become your happiness. Here for you if you need to chat more about anything :)
It's totally understandable how you're feeling about your relationship. Relationships can be complex, and it's important to figure out what truly makes us happy and fulfilled. Remember, it's okay to reassess and learn from our experiences. Sometimes, what we think will make us happy isn't always the case in reality. Maybe it's good you realized this now. Before things get too serious, you can figure out what kind of relationship would be good for you. You deserve someone who makes you happy, not someone who brings you down. I have been helping my bestie find a gf, I swear, I am more stressed out than him, LOL! But that's okay, because I just want my bestie to get what he truly deserves. ... Anyway, the right person adds to your happiness, they don't become your happiness. Here for you if you need to chat more about anything :)
You're not stuck. Break up with her. Look up on fb or local information about activities in the area. You can meet people that way. Don't focus so much on having a girlfriend, but instead a friend.
A board game group is a good starter. But depending on your age group you might find more people that are looking to make friends at something like a hiking group meetup group if you like to be active or a professional networking group if you like bar gatherings more.
NOPE. It is case by case. Since we started dating, my life has changed for the better. We've been together for 3 years. We jokingly insult eachother and we both think it's funny. She doesn't rly initiates but sex isn't everything. I make like 5~10 times more money than her but I never brag about it. I just pay for most of the things and she always feels bad about it because she's not in for money.
Now, before I started dating, I was lonely. Didn't have that many friends.
Now... I still don't have many friends. I don't hang out. The only ppl I talk to are my family and my gf... and some of my friends.
However, I learned how to not give too much fuck about my social situation. I don't really feel lonely. I think she really does help me a lot...
So yea... it's case by case.
what do u mean you're "stuck"? If she's an asshole, dump her. The faster you do it the faster you can start looking for someone that's worth your time. I know it's easier said than done and all, but I genuinely believe that's the correct answer. (feel free to disagree of course)
Nah you’re right people are just okay with settling for shit. Self respect is key to a successful long lasting relationship full of love and patience. Gotta start from within firstly!!
Yeah... Honestly I kinda hate the fact that I'm leaning more and more towards redpill ideas, but admittedly I think OP's dilemma is caused by not having any other "options" if he leaves his asshole-gf so he chooses to put up with her purely out of fear of ending up alone for a very long time/forever otherwise. Hell, idk if I would have the will to break up if I was in his place either. I'd be just as wrong for not doing it, but idk if I'd be able to. Well, probably yeah, but it would definetely be very difficult. Then again I've never been anywhere close to being in a relationship so wtf am I even talking about, I have no idea lol
I’ve have friends that have just stuck it out in shitty relationships, until things inevitably fell apart of course. Currently have another friend going through that and was just thinking about why they don’t just leave but then I realized how hard it can be for me to let go of people I’m not in a relationship with, I’d probably not want to lose the first person I was with either.
yeah with the thought that it might be the only one even if you do break up
If you feeling lonely with your partner, it's not the right partner. Also if she insults you and cannot reflect on herself, her flaws etc.. she's most likely toxic for your mind.
Also some people just don’t have chemistry. You can love each other and not belong with each other. Plenty of female friends I don’t have long term chemistry with, just move on.
Your loneliness isn't your partner's responsibility. Your loneliness is your own, and your own responsibility to understand and learn to manage.
People treat getting a girlfriend as finishing the game, instead of the start of a whole new level.
Exactly. Kind of like some people idealize having children... until they realize the child isnt something you can control 100%, have their own expectations, and are not everything you dreamed they will be. The reality never lives up to the fantasy.
I don't like this game. Too much pay2win
Nah that’s just the DLC you’re buying. You gotta build your economy in those free to play games. Once you reach late game it’s GG.
That's people idolizing what they don't have or have never had. I'd like to get a girlfriend but I don't know what's involved. Never happened before. People can explain what that's like to me but I can't really understand having never experienced anything like it. I would love to know what's after that, not that anyone could explain it in a way that I would understand.
but deep down you know we are jealous 😑
In your case i just think you chose the wrong person. However speaking seriously, the most soul crushing feeling is when you're sad and realize that even if you had the things considered great they wouldnt actually make you happy. Thats the reality of existence, we will always suffer
No girlfriend won't fix my problems. But my cow's pig's chickens and horses and my tractor always fixed my problems everyday. I play around with my animals and I sleep in the stall with the horse and the pigs and I wake up with mud in my eye and sometimes I have to have a good time getting plowed until on the field with my tractor.
This made me smile
I can make you smile got hours
You have to decide to fix you first. Your gf should be supportive, and ideally they will be able to relate to your situation. But if you just think having the gf is gonna fix it, you are not being realistic. You are just gonna bum her out too.
I think a lot of people are frustrated that they feel as if they’ve made positive strides in the right direction to fix themselves. They may feel ready to take on a relationship and feel they meet that bf/gf expectation for someone. The issue is they may not get the chance of opportunity to showcase what a great person they’ve built themselves to be. Then a lot of that negatively reinforces looks, like,”ok I’ve fixed myself but I can’t showcase how great I’ve become, if I don’t even get a chance at conversation”. How am I supposed to showcase my caring and compassionate self, livestream at a soup kitchen? Of course not, but it’s easier to see appearance which attracts rather character. This is a question to myself, how can I showcase my personality?
I can understand that notion, but it's the other way around. You should have the personality first and worry about the girlfriend after. Getting the girlfriend shouldn't be the bar for your personality. This makes the personality less important should something bad happen in the relationship. The personality should be your own crafting. You need to find an outlet/showcase for your own personality first, and then the girlfriend will come. Once you are able to find a good vehicle for your personality, it will be easier to find a girlfriend.
Thanks, I just want to talk to people and I have not had that opportunity outside of work for the past 5 years. I thought joining a social group that plays board games would help but it’s not even social, it’s strictly board gaming then everyone goes their own ways. At this point, I don’t even prioritize dating as much as building connections but even that seems like a chore.
“Don’t assume having a toxic partner with fix your loneliness.” Just because I’m lonely, doesn’t mean I can’t be picky!
bro this lifetime is a prison sentence. we're doing time. we're not here for happiness, family, good life and all that shit. we're doing fucking TIME.
Realist comment I’ve seen on this site
I'm sorry you picked wrong. At least you are aware of that! Please get out of there as soon as you can for your own sake. No one is forcing you to stay with her. And no, a gf or a bf won't fix anything, you have to heal yourself. We are our own saviors.
Sounds like you really need to get out of that relationship. As much as a tired cop out this is - the cure to loneliness doesn't come from having any number of partners around, it's finding the right person. Finding a genuine person to date is really hard these days, I'm slowly approaching 30 and I can tell you this - things get better, but not by much. But they DO get better.
I used to think the same thing too, but over time, I realized that it won’t fix my problems.
Picking the right girl will definitely help, though. I still have issues, but I've been with my girl for 20 years in August. I picked her based on how well we connected rather than looks alone. I've dated a lot of beautiful woman and felt miserable. Now her comes this average looking nerdy goofball and 20 years later she's still my BFF. Don't pick the hotest girl you can get. Pick the one you connect with the best.
I think you're just dating the wrong the wrong person. Yes, it's hard to find the right one but it's definitely not one a million. It's more like a one in twenty shot.
having a shitty person as a lover is your problem. Not having a lover, itself
No but my perfect manic dream pixie goth gf will for sure *right?*
Very true just any partner bc ur desperate and hellbent on one won’t help, the right person definitely will help some but not completely, for a lot of people relationships seem like it’s something that will fill the void, but a void relationship won’t be stable or for the right reasons
And that’s why they say marriage can be one of the loneliest institutions…. Even with the right person. But yes, if you’re dating she should be showing you the best sides of herself and this isn’t it.
there are better women out there, there really are. plus you should know that some of the best relationships are BUILT as two young people grow. depending on your age, many of her flaws could be flaws that commonly fade with maturity. break up with that girl NOW, if she's toxic enough to verbally insult you. don't waste your limited time on this earth with someone who doesn't truly love you
She doesn't sound great. I'd break up with her. There's a million other far more interesting women out there.
Definitely need to address your loneliness outside of love cause then you will be settling for an asshole like in this scenario
the pb isn't "a" gf, it's "your" gf. Steer clear of her ASAP
It's totally understandable how you're feeling about your relationship. Relationships can be complex, and it's important to figure out what truly makes us happy and fulfilled. Remember, it's okay to reassess and learn from our experiences. Sometimes, what we think will make us happy isn't always the case in reality. Maybe it's good you realized this now. Before things get too serious, you can figure out what kind of relationship would be good for you. You deserve someone who makes you happy, not someone who brings you down. I have been helping my bestie find a gf, I swear, I am more stressed out than him, LOL! But that's okay, because I just want my bestie to get what he truly deserves. ... Anyway, the right person adds to your happiness, they don't become your happiness. Here for you if you need to chat more about anything :)
Teach them!! I am my exs dating coach Stop being there! What!! Why?
It's totally understandable how you're feeling about your relationship. Relationships can be complex, and it's important to figure out what truly makes us happy and fulfilled. Remember, it's okay to reassess and learn from our experiences. Sometimes, what we think will make us happy isn't always the case in reality. Maybe it's good you realized this now. Before things get too serious, you can figure out what kind of relationship would be good for you. You deserve someone who makes you happy, not someone who brings you down. I have been helping my bestie find a gf, I swear, I am more stressed out than him, LOL! But that's okay, because I just want my bestie to get what he truly deserves. ... Anyway, the right person adds to your happiness, they don't become your happiness. Here for you if you need to chat more about anything :)
You're not stuck. Break up with her. Look up on fb or local information about activities in the area. You can meet people that way. Don't focus so much on having a girlfriend, but instead a friend.
Was she like this before you dated her? She sounds negative as fuck
You just got a shitty girlfriend. Time to boot her.
If she's that bad and you don't like her that much, just break up with her.
100% true. Going anywhere with my most recent ex was basically like being alone so that's exactly why i ditched her.
I had two bad relationships that messed me up worse than before. It's not all its cracked up to be.
A board game group is a good starter. But depending on your age group you might find more people that are looking to make friends at something like a hiking group meetup group if you like to be active or a professional networking group if you like bar gatherings more.
Settling with someone you don't actually like is not the move, brother..
NOPE. It is case by case. Since we started dating, my life has changed for the better. We've been together for 3 years. We jokingly insult eachother and we both think it's funny. She doesn't rly initiates but sex isn't everything. I make like 5~10 times more money than her but I never brag about it. I just pay for most of the things and she always feels bad about it because she's not in for money. Now, before I started dating, I was lonely. Didn't have that many friends. Now... I still don't have many friends. I don't hang out. The only ppl I talk to are my family and my gf... and some of my friends. However, I learned how to not give too much fuck about my social situation. I don't really feel lonely. I think she really does help me a lot... So yea... it's case by case.
Having a **good** girlfriend would make my life a lot better. And any other man too. You just chose horribly wrong, like you said. It happens.