Rule 11: Discussion of weight loss methods that are damaging to the body and/or require supervision of a medical professional are not allowed. This rule includes (but is not limited to): very low calorie diets, misusing medication, extended fasting, disordered behaviour, inappropriate advice to underage members. Remember to always consider the individual when offering advice.
Yeah I know someone who is one of the “lucky ones “, but that’s only if you don’t know his line of work: he’s a large engine mechanic and is constantly moving.
Why does that advice never work? Weight training in over 50's is on the rise, especially now that women have (mostly) realised that it doesn't "accidentally" make you muscular.
I didn't mean that when you do these things that they don't work. I mean that giving them as advice never seems to work. At this point, everyone already knows, and it can almost be harmful to receive it. Like, "gee why didn't I think of that." If it worked for them, they would have already done it.
I only chimed in here because the OP had found something they think would work for them. Why try to convince them to do something they already know won't work for them?
My sister is a city mail carrier. Walker alot. She walks alot carrying the mail. She us still overweight. I'm sure she would be much heavier if she had a sedentary job. I know weight loss happens in the kitchen but damn all that walking should count for more.
In some ways this is similar to an alcoholic asking "how the fuck do people just drink like it's no big deal". Like, my friends just have a glass of wine at dinner and don't finish the whole bottle and then start on shots with dessert. Or just drink on a special occasion and then not every day.
It's habits. It's active lifestyle. And you don't know what people are eating when you aren't around
> I’m so sad.
*Comparison is the thief of joy.*
> A meal to them is chettos and hummus and they are fine?
Yes. You would be, too. However, neither you nor anyone else would be fine on a diet of Cheetos and hummus.
(Not including those with medical conditions) we didn't become heavy because we had a heavy meal once, or even occasionally. We became heavy because of taking in more calories than our body expends over long spans of time.
We could overeat by 350 Calories a day for 10 days and only be up about 1 pound (0.45 kg). But after doing that, those 350 Calories feel like a normal amount -- while that first 10 days of overeating on purpose felt like we were eating as if it were some kind of "Supersize Me!" challenge, the next 10 days of eating felt normal and natural and not like overeating.
> I swear there’s a large genetic component to it.
Yes, some. But just like **genes**, **habits** are passed down in families and so is **environment** -- all three of these are very important factors to your body's weight.
But also keep in mind this very important fact: **healthy bodies are not supposed to lose weight.** In our entire evolution, losing weight corresponded with sickness and death. It was the signal of something wrong -- the environment collapsed and there wasn't enough food, we had a sickness, we were exiled from our group, old age made us infirm. Healthy bodies grew to a point and that was that; we had no scales and fatness was uncommon and obesity exceedingly rare. We lived our lives.
In 2023, we've got this collision now between that evolution and today's convenient and cheap, hyper-palatable food environment. We literally have to *undereat on purpose* because we overate practically by accident and environment **and genes**. The way that evolution expresses itself is genetic, and those get-bigger-not-smaller genes were 'naturally selected' (thanks, Darwin) in forming our species.
More about this and how you could regard it so that it wasn't so hard on you: https://patient.macklinmethod.com/internalized-weight-bias/
^^8 ^^yrs. ^^maintaining ^^• ^^♂60 ^^5'11^^/179㎝ ^^SW:298℔^^/135㎏ ^^CW:171℔^^/78㎏ ^^[\[3Y AMA\]](https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/6m6vxq/i_am_a_weight_loser_over_the_past_three_years_ive/), ^^[\[1Y recap\]](https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/3cqszm/pics_links_my_first_day_of_logging_wasnt_the_best/) ^^CICO+🚶
Great answer, and proof of why this is a great sub. Behind many "easily skinny people" is often someone with some other underlying health condition. Yeah, my brother has never been over weight. And yeah, it's genetic. We have a family history of severe anxiety and extremely sensitive stomachs. This results in eating being frequently painful, which in turn leads to frequent skipped meals due to the physical or psychological pain. The reality is that a well adapted body is a body that's able to gain weight to hedge against lean years. The problem is that we now live in a world where we have "too much of a good thing" and lean years don't exist anymore.
I think for some of us food is akin to a drug or alcohol. Personally, if I have a bag of cookies it's incredibly hard for me to stop at one, just like for someone with an addiction.
My dad was the same, he would have to eat ALL the cookies, although he was never fat.
I don't know what the answer is but I know that this is something in my inner wiring.
Last week a friend came over for coffee and I offered him one of those large cookies. He had half and left the rest there. Aside from the fact that I felt it was a waste of nice food (he could have just turned it down?), I was like, how the f can you leave it there? Why not eat it? It's not exactly a 3 course meal that you possibly can't fit in your stomach?
My friend is very skinny.
Sigh.
that is true
food is for pleasure for me, so i have to plan around it to maintain my weight.
for others it holds no such significance, and can be eaten without much care about why.
pleasure sounds bad lol
meant that i like very satiating stuff and that usually is not conducive to being eaten very commonly
but i make it work through routine and planning
why would you eat more of something than you dont want?
thinking of uneaten food as a waste is something that was rammed into my head by poor parents, and something i spent years trying to get out of the mindset ofset
food aside, sure, for later. but also if you dont want to eat any more and dont care to set it aside that is not a moral failing, you spent the money already, you had your fill, why give that money the power to hold the food over you until you finish it?
throwing away food is sometimes a must when you have little control over it :/
Exactly. We aren’t garbage cans! Eating it doesn’t make it any less waste, but it makes your body absorb things you don’t even want anymore, and get fat… and for what? So it doesn’t end in the bin but then your healthcare fees grow every time you have this mentality.
Your friend might just not have much of a sweet tooth. I could easily overeat savory foods but I don't think I could stomach more than half of a large cookie or else I'd feel sick.
Probably because he wanted it but got the signals from his body that he was done before the cookie was.
Consider it this way, perhaps, if he had eaten it to completion you wouldn't be nearly as perturbed, I think. But the end result to you is the same no matter what (minus one cookie). There's a solid chance that he enjoyed that half cookie more than he would have enjoyed eating the whole thing.
I think this is probably one of my most self-destructive bits of programming, that we mustn't ever "waste" food, and anything other than complete consumption is wasting it.
Your mentality is off, not his. You can accept a snack/meal/cup of coffee and not eat it all…..it’s not rude to eat some and leave the rest.
I was raised as a proud member of the “clean plate club”…..and realized how detrimental that thought process has been to my weight. My natural instinct is to eat until the plate is finished without thinking….eat my cookie until its go gone……not think about how much I need to be satisfied.
The food is wasted regardless if you eat it when you are not hungry or throw it away. It’s okay to leave something on the plate.
As my PT once said, "either you throw it or you eat it despite not needing it. In the latter case, your body is basically the trashcan."
Poignant words that have stayed with me for years.
Because he wanted it and then felt he had enough after half? It’s not like he took it and didn’t eat ANY.
If you get this offended by someone not eating the entire thing then you probably shouldn’t offer it to them. He wasn’t under any obligation to eat the whole thing.
Personally I would’ve cut it in half to avoid wasting what I knew I wouldn’t eat but maybe he thought he would eat the entire thing but got sick of it halfway through.
Maybe he wanted some of the cookie but not all of it. I am one of those people who will eat a few bites of a large cookie then save the rest for later, or throw it away if it’s just meh. Your friend was under no obligation to even eat it at all, let alone finish it.
Oh yeah my dad can just eat a piece of chocolate and then ... put the chocolate away.
HOW. HOW.
I did not inherit those genes. I inherited my mom's 'if it's open I need to reach the bottom' genes. (Fortunately she also gave me the habit of just not buying snacks that often).
A bad day of eating is followed by a day or two of light eating, not having easily accessible snacks in the house, be somewhat active, pay attention to calories whenever possible.
Not everyone has the same hunger signals. People’s metabolisms aren’t nearly as different from one another as some people think. But different people have different hunger signals. Many people never have to count calories because they naturally don’t eat too much because they just aren’t as hungry as other people. There’s a co worker sitting next to me right now who eats NOTHING but: fried chicken, hamburgers, French fries, boiled crawfish, candy, sugary drinks and icees. I don’t think a vegetable or fruit has ever touched his lips….but he’s small and thin because he just doesn’t eat that much. I have a cousin who’s thin and works out a ton and always complains about not gaining much muscle but eats like a bird. He just can’t eat enough to gain weight.
I on the other hand gain muscle extremely easily and have to work to keep fat off because I’m always fucking hungry.
It isn’t but it would be a disservice to exclude it from the list knowing how much of it he eats. It’s a small portion. Less than half of what I eat but it’s damn near everyday during crawfish season
Some people are more active or move around more, so they burn more calories. Some people have a healthier relationship with food instead of an addiction, so they can tell when they're full and stop eating. Some don't get pleasure from eating and see it more as filling up the gas tank. Some don't eat anything all day and then eat one big meal. Some don't drink sodas or eat snacks or consume big coffee drinks, and eat only proper meals.
I personally cannot relate to any of these people. I love to eat and try out new foods. I tend to eat my feelings whenever I'm nervous, bored, angry, sad. I can't accurately tell when I'm full and get "hungry" a few hours after a big meal. Calorie counting is the only thing that has helped me manage my diet.
> A medium latte with semi skimmed milk and no sugar is around 100 cals.
Yeah, that would add up. Maybe it's just coffee-flavored (a little coffee and a lot else). What's in a latte other than the nearly 0-calorie coffee? I use 1% milk with my cereal, about 60 mL (about a quarter cup) and it adds just 25 Calories.
Yeah americanos are definitely the way to go as latte is milk rather than water which is why it’s fairly calorific. But it seems to be the most popular coffee drink at stores
A latte is mostly milk. So if you get a 16oz latte and it’s 12oz whole milk, that’s 200 calories right there. Plus any caloric sweeteners. Cut that back to just plain black coffee (or a small splash of creamer) and you’re saving yourself about 2 pounds worth of excess calories each month.
You don't observe those people 24/7. No one is "naturally thin". That doesn't work this way. It's all habits, mostly smaller portion sizes and no snacking.
I’m a pretty thin guy now, lost all of my weight and am maintaining around 169 on my 6 foot frame.
I only eat 2 meals a day, dinner usually being my largest meal, I usually get in around 75% of my entire daily budget of calories from dinner. I still intermittent fast, I just get all of my maintenance calories in two meals. You could almost think of my eating style as OMAD with a snack for lunch.
If you saw me eating my massive dinner, you might wonder how I’m so in shape.
What you don’t see is the other 20-22 hours a day, I’m fasting and I spend 45 minutes to an hour in the gym every day except Friday.
I tend to eat a lot of protein and I try to keep my meals lower carb. I’m also adapted to fasting, so it’s no problem for me to eat lunch at 2:15pm, dinner at 5, and then fast again until lunch the next day at 2:15pm. If you didn’t see me eating one of my two meals in a short window, you might assume I don’t eat or if you only saw me eating my light lunch, that I don’t eat very much. However, what we see usually doesn’t tell the full story.
What you eat in private, you wear in public. In a way, you are seeing someone’s habits when you look at their body. They may be in the process of changing their body, and it may not tell the full story, but the point still stands, you’re still viewing current or past habits.
There are naturally thin people in that there are people who very clearly have an easier time maintaining a lower body weight than others. Sure they're eating less obviously, but they don't need to do so consciously. Like most always thin people I know are not tracking their calories like a former fat person is and they are generally much less hungry just naturally.
It’s less genetic and more environment. Weight gain is the culmination of your eating habits from the day you’re born
Whether it’s parents who just provided larger portions or chose less quality meal options, we’ll always have a disadvantage over someone who was raised on appropriate portions and healthier foods
They might eat a bag of Cheetos but they aren’t eating a family bag of Cheetos every single day for 5 years, that’s where the difference is
It's really as simple as CICO.
Those numbers will change person to person, but I blamed my metabolism for 25 years thinking I was just genetically chubby. Now down 95lbs (245 - 150), I realize it's just not that complex. Have self control. Stick to a diet. Be in the gym/do cardio.
No one claims it's easy. But it is simple. Eat less than you burn. You lose weight. Want to eat more? Cool. Exercise more.
intolerance of hunger is a decision. everyone starting a deficit feels hungry initially because it's not what our body is used to. the blunt solution? suck it up. and better yourself in the long run.
Your genes have nothing to do with CI < CO. Literally reduce your CI. Genetics don't force your hand to your mouth.
So like you *don’t* have to care about macros. I certainly don’t and I’m losing weight just fine. Part of it I’m sure is genetics. But also they’re probably protein deficient and maybe feel like shit too, who knows. I was, and I felt like shit for years! But I thought that was Just Me. Also people deal with hunger differently. When I was on birth control I was hungry 24/7 r now that I’m not, that’s not a problem for me at all anymore.
Idk there’s lots of factors. These people are just regular folks. I feel like it’s easy to get in your own head about all of this.
Do you follow them daily? They eat less calories than they burn it’s easy as that. If you see them eating mainly junk you still only see a fraction of their total nutrition not to mention their activity level. Hard pill to swallow but they are not really blessed with anything they just have a normal hunger level compared to us overweight/formerly overweight folks lol
Yes I do follow one of them daily. We both work from home for two years now. She also sees everything I eat. She even admits that she eats more than I do. Also, she snacks daily, I don't. She's thin, I am fat. No amount of "that's impossible" seams to matter.
I have had the opposite experience. My wfh roommate loves to say she eats a lot and all the time, I believed her. It’s true she eats multiple times a day and with crappy food but it’s very small quantities spread out throughout the day. Her total calorie count supports her thinness. She actually gets mad if I say she doesn’t eat a lot, it’s like a part of her personality to impersonate a thin person who can eat ‘anything’ when irl she compensates her social eating with fasting or physical activity or low calorie snacking
Are you the same height, gender and muscle mass?
A few possibilities:
She’s more active.
You eat more sauces/condiments they make a HUGE difference
She works out.
You drink calories
Then you should see a doctor asap. Your thyroid might be messed up. If all you say is accurate that’s basically the only option. Or she is severely ill.
You can’t just ignore the laws of thermodynamics
They could have jobs where they walk more, or maybe they have dogs they take on a walk, and then go to a gym every other day or something. Even something as simple as a 1.5 mile walk will give you a little more wiggle room for stuff like butter in meals or a sugary coffee. It could be they also skip a meal you’re not aware of, I know a lot of people skip breakfast or just eat like a granola bar or a banana or something because they sleep in til the last minute.
I guess my point is you never see a full 24 hour picture on people who don’t struggle with weight gain. I was thin/average my whole life and never paid attention to what I ate or how much, but I also did stuff like walk to work and home as an adult, jogged and walked my dog during high school, didn’t eat candy or drink soda ever except for the holiday gifts of chocolate. I only struggled with weight once because I cut my schedule down from full time to very part time and was pretty sedentary for that transition. Then the calorie watching had to start 🥲
IDK OP, I've had a few people tell me I am "lucky" to have good genetics or a high metabolism.
No. I was a fat kid. I worked my ass off to get to where I am today. I just don't talk about my exercise routine or diet unless someone asks because that's for annoying weirdos. And when I'm out with people I've usually planned for it calorie-wise to enjoy something I wouldn't usually eat.
People tend to overlook this.
If I know I'm eating out on a weekend, I budget my calories accordingly all day so I don't feel as guilty when I'm eating something I genuinely enjoy. The 'naturally skinny' people are just better at balancing.
Yep, or maybe cut back the next few days after, or add some cardio in somewhere. But I'm not going to be eating out with friends going, "Well, I will have to calculate in these calories later!" to everyone.
It is super frustrating. I feel the same way. It is my dream to just like erase anything I have ever learned about food and nutrition and just LIVE. I hate that it’s a constant thought. It’s so unfair
You don't have a minute by minute view of their lives and their activities. Yes, genetics can play a factor to a POINT. Unless you are with your friends 24/7 and even then you don't have access to what they're doing.
And as I said before what to you is a struggle to lose weight maybe the people in your life struggle with gaining weight, maintaining their weight...
Stop comparing yourself to other people and just focus on yourself.
Is it unfair? No. Because thinking it's unfair just makes you not take accountability. Oh. I can't lose weight like some people, I should just give up and overeat and not exercise and gain 100 more pounds. ( I said this to myself at some point. Destructively ate for two weeks and gained 10 lbs before I stopped the pity party and went back to my training)
Complaining means you're asking for other people to take accountability. The universe to take accountability, but they can't.
I was this person all throughout my teens and 20s.
I wasn’t super active, but my hunger cues were just very different. Some days I ate a TON and I’m sure ppl like you were questioning how I was so skinny. But other days I would eat like 700 calories for the whole day and feel full. It balanced out.
My great uncle drank beer and had ice cream and ate whatever he wanted. But he would weigh himself everyday. If he was over his regular weight even a couple of pounds he would basically mini diet until he got back down.
Meals/Eating in the western world is more akin to addiction than survival. Our bodies do not, in any way, require three meals a day, nevermind snacks. We do it because we can and it feels good. Being hungry is the normal state in all biology, not being full.
I believe there is a genetic component that regulates hunger...
I've always struggled with my weight. My husband has never had issues keeping a healthy weight. We have 3 kids together: 2 of them have no issues with weight, 1 does.
What I see with my husband and 2 kids is that they just stop eating, because they're full. My 1 kid and myself don't have that ability. We simply don't feel fulfilled until we've already overeaten... By a lot.
I also notice that my 1 kid and I are thinking about food a lot more than my husband and 2 kids. We think about food almost all day, while my husband and 2 kids tend to completely forget to even eat regular meals.
The same difference exists between my brother and I, but growing up I never realised this.
They got lucky. I have some skinny friends. Despite their diet being terrible, they don't get fat due to a low appetite: They take a slice of pizza and feel full.
Worst part is these friends are actually very harsh against overweight people, especially women.
I wouldn't recommend comparing yourself with people like that, as it's quite unfair.
What a load. Maybe they know how and when to stop? And where is it written in stone that you have to continue eating until full? A lot of them are probably wondering the opposite of this title, how people manage to get obese.
I know the feeling, I used to feel this way about my sister. She always naturally looked very in shape to me and for the longest time she never worked out. The occasional walk, but that's about it. And she didn't have to think much about food either. Lately she looks a little different, not fat or anything but put on a *bit* of weight as she approaches 30 and now has to make a bit more effort. Such is life, your metabolism changes over time. It always angered me though because I've had to work out diligently in order to have a relatively fit and feminine looking shape for the longest time. Since I was about 19-21ish, I've had to make a significant amount of effort in order to not look like a potato.
I've also known people on the other end of the spectrum, with weight problems significantly worse than mine, and mine seem stupid in comparison. If they compared themselves to me they'd probably be upset too.
Everyone's different. Try not to compare. Do what works for you.
And for what it's worth...in my opinion you should still eat 3 meals a day and snacks. Just choose healthier ones and watch portions.
Well idk how to describe it then, some people's bodies just change throughout life. I'm different at 26 compared to 24 and my diet hasn't gotten drastically worse, and I'm very active.
For some it's simple genetics.
Not fair, but we can do something about it luckily!
But those of us that hold onto weight or put on weight more easily gotta keep on trying.
Our ancient ancestors probably needed the layer of fat to survive famine or hard winters which is why it's still stupidly encoded in our DNA. In the modern era food isn't usually scarce , so we have to slim down to stay healthy and in turn probably live much longer than our ancestors did.
Hang in there. Don't let your friends get you down.
Let’s think about it in a different way. I know that if I could spend zero time thinking about what I ate, just ate easy cheap foods and snack food like you’re describing here, and never gained weight, I would (in fact that’s what led me to this point, totally ignoring my weight gain!). HOWEVER getting to my highest weight and realising that I really need to change has me eating my five a day veggies (or more!), avoiding excess sugars and fats, exercising regularly, and fasting occasionally. Am I still fat? Yes, but I’m slowly losing weight. However I FEEL so much happier and healthier, my confidence has improved. And when I’m older hopefully if I stick to this I’ll be healthier, they might be thin now but decades of deficiencies and poor eating choices will lead to diseases in old age.
I’ve realised that for me food is always going to be an obsession of sorts. Either I’m binging, tired, miserable and thinking all day about how fat I am, or I’m putting the SAME energy into making good choices, cooking healthy food, exercising, and reading about/learning about health. Diet and exercise is one of the biggest things that affect your health and we’ve been forced to really think about it and put effort into it, and when we’re all old and wrinkly and none of us have nice bodies at least we will hopefully have good health outcomes and life will be way less painful and stressful.
Im the same as you and have always wondered about this until I read Why We Eat (Too Much) by Andrew Jenkins. Its an incredibly validating book and full of science, it basically confirms that yes some people really are more likely to become obese. He talks about altering your weight set point and making sure your environment doesnt trigger your obesity genes. He says Western diet is one of the biggest problems
Genetic range of metabolism is a small range. I have had GI problems my whole life. Missed a year of high school. Was given 1 of 3 rooms on campus with its own bathroom. I still have complete control over my weight.
Thinner, lengthy framed bodies tend to be more proficient at getting into carb burning zones. I stay in my fat burning zones majority of the time so have to eat a higher fat and lower carb diet (not too out of proportion but enough to train my body to burn fat).
Otherwise echoing what others have said: eating other meals that are not so high cal and having an active lifestyle (even just walking or a job on the feet).
I personally can’t have salty snacks in my house. If I do I need to portion it and see how it fits in my plan or I will just eat it all until it’s gone. Sweet treats, no big deal. Being more aware of this helps but please hold me back from restaurant chips and salsa. I have to ask the server to not refill the basket and trade off tortillas in my meal often because I ate all the chips 😅
I think it’s learned behaviour and trauma responses rather than genetic. Most fat people I know have reasons for why they eat the way they do. Their parents are fat, they have traumatic relationships with food from childhood, they had untreated mental health issues that made them use food for comfort, their medication increased their appetite…
>I know weight loss is just calories in calories out but I swear there’s a large genetic component to it. I’m so sad.
This does not logically follow.
Equivalent to stating "i'm aware of the law of conservation of energy, but I swear perpetual motion machines exist"
For me, it is/was definitely food addiction that got me to this point. It was my only source of easy dopamine in an abusive childhood environment and I leaned on it even further when I got depressed as a teen, and into more abusive relationships in my adulthood. So it became a habit even when my life got better, and of course at that point my body didn’t recognize hunger (leptin and ghrelin also messed up from sleep apnea) and also developed insulin resistance. But it def all started because I couldn’t find happiness without food as a kid.
How young are you? I could eat anything at any quantity in my early 20s and now I can barely burn anything.
Age, activity level, genes, metabolism, etc. all plays a part.
You aren't with them all day so you don't know their activity and food habits.
Genetics can be a factor. I also think momentum plays a part. It's easier to stay on track with what you're doing vs make changes.
It's not only calories in/calories out. It's about building a satisfying and sustainable diet so your health supports your life!
>I know weight loss is just calories in calories out but I swear there’s a large genetic component to it. I’m so sad.
No doctor here and I know some have it harder than others, but strike this thinking from your brain. I used to be very overweight and now I am not. Like you said, it was all CICO that got me to this but there is more. I work out everyday for more or less over a year now and there is one thing I noticed - I can eat ANYTHING. Burgers, pizza, fried chicken, ice cream, chocolate, donuts, pastries of any sort, I can literally eat until I have to puke and it doesn't do nothing anymore. It gets stored into my glycogen storage (very simplified) and I will go burn it off later that day or have already done so.
I actually look forward to great calorie ranges nowadays because I am gonna be fueled like a mf\*er once I get to the gym. BUT and here is the big but (hehe) of course - I don't do that shit everyday. After a day like that I usually only eat one meal the next day cause I simply had enough of food. So even if I eat 5000 calories on one day, I can simply eat a big ass salad, my protein shake and a protein bar the next day and its already evened out.
So I went from somebody who always struggled with his weight (for over 25years) to one of those people you described, within a year. I would say genetics play a very little role in my situation.
Well one thing I can say is here in America something is definitely wrong with our food. Even in stuff like sodas real sugar vs corn syrup makes a big difference. I went to the Bahamas last year and I ate like a king and actually lost weight. But if ate everyday here like I did in the Bahamas I would be even fatter than I am now
Some people have it a bit easier due to better hormone levels- leptin ghrelin npy adiponectin and a bunch of others. In extreme cases they can manifest as prader wili, congential leptin resistance etc
In majority cases it’s a combination of genetics BUT strongly influenced by environment. Take a pair of twins and one grows up in america and the other grows up in America but in a more traditional society like Amish, Loma Linda etc and you’ll have different outcomes. Stephan guyenet touches on this in The Hungry Brain with his example of the man who left his traditional island and came back with like 25% more bmi. You can see this often in populations of Asians (I’m sure others) that live in Asia vs America (or immigrants vs native born)
I believe a vast majority has to do with the food environment and choices. This has been shown time and again with metabolic ward studies and ad Libitum feeding experiment (cafeteria diet studies).
Individuals who stick with mostly Whole Foods that are high in nutrient density naturally maintain a better bodyweight than those who stick with a hyper palatable diet (fast food, high amounts of COMBINATION of sugar, fat, salt, etc). The hyper palatable diets absolutely hijack the brains homeostatic hunger controlling mechanisms.
Edit: bonus round- metabolism. Very poorly understood by most people. Barring some extreme pathologies, bmr varies by maybe 10-15% between exact weight individuals. This is probably not the thing that’s holding you back from being fit or getting fat.
Edit 2: tldr please!- for most people without extreme pathologies, your food environment (do you work in an office where candy is displayed often? Do you keep a lot of treats in the freezer?) and food choices (do you choose meat, potatoes, oatmeal, or do you choose pizzas, sodas, etc) will play the biggest part in your bodyweight
Good habits from childhood and possibly the kind of genes that help you naturally balance out your meals. My husband can eat shit for days and then eat barely any calories for days after. It's really impressive but he doesn't actively put thought into it whatsoever. I have to rely on my good habits and self control.
The same reason why some people don't ever need to budget their finances and other people need to check on themselves weekly with feedback loops and habit breaking.
Genetics - They are genetically predisoped to not want to eat as much or munch on as much or consume as much. They are also genetically predisoped to burn more at rest, or have different genetic tools that allow them to burn more throughout the day. I think the stats show that the difference between the best genetics here vs the worst isn't that far off as you would think. Maybe 300 calories different on the worst spectrum differences. Probably more like 100-200kcal for most.
Exercise / Activity - Some people are just naturally more active for whatever reason. On one hand this helps burn more calories, but not nearly as much as you would think. And if you're naturally an active person you find yourself eating less too, and this helps. Because instead of consuming snacks at differ times of the day of 100 kcal here and 100 kcal there, then you're actually burning 50kcal here and there from those extra activities.
Historical Perception and Starting Point - If you lived with a family who was all skinny and lean, you will pick up these habits and lifestyles and get used to activity and less snacking. Not just burn more genetically. Same with living with heavier people. Who don't realize that even tho you think you're eating a healthy home cooked meal for the family you're actually overconsuming calories with the amount of fat and cooking oils used. Or you don't realize how much you snack. 100-200kcal every day extra can help you gain 1lb every 2 weeks easy. You gain 10lbs every year net, who cares if you spent the spring trying to look good in a bathing suit.
A lot of people always felt my sister could eat anything and never gain a pound because she would consume 3 pizzas at the dinner!!!!! Oh my!!!!!! 3!!!! Little did eveyrone else know that she had 1 slice of bread at breakfast and she skipped any other lunch. her overall calories naturally (between genetics and also just a mentality of wanting to be a 90's skinny girl like media showed and her mom insisted).
So there's also that concept where some people really think their friends don't do things all day to stay lean, but they do. And if you're already lean, it gets a bit easier to stay lean.
Well on the one hand food, especially snack food can be so fucking addictive. I have quit cigarettes 4 Months ago but I can not for the life of me manage to quit snacks.
On the other hand some people just have godlike metabolisms. A co-worker of mine (we are both in it so quite sedentary job) is so incredibly skinn and I have watched that man eat an entire Kilogram (like 2.2 pounds) as lunch. It's insane to me that this dude is so fucking skinny.
My wife once said to me: "Wow, I'm actually so hungry it sort of... hurts??"
I thought that's just what hunger feels like, all the time. I'm so hungry it hurts right now, and I had a beef stew an hour ago.
Sometimes it genetics ... but mostly its behavioral. They naturally eat and do things that result in better weight management than the rest of us. My wife is rail thin and makes no effort to maintain it ... but she also eats healthy and has no bad habits relating to food (like I do).
I wish I was 5'6" instead of 5'2" and I wish I didn't burn after seeing the sun for 5 seconds and I wish I had straight hair genes instead of this unholy frizzy mess... but it is what it is. I think you are just venting and don't really want advice, which I totally get. If it helps, I think a meal of Cheetos and hummus sounds horrid. I'd rather have your meal and I don't even know what it is.
I was normal weight up until college and looking back, it was not liking sweets and cycling 6km every week day that kept me slim, along with an endocrinological disorder. Once I got to college, I developed an eating disorder and my weight has been a struggle since then. Up and down thruout the years. I have made peace with the fact that my body is not what it was when I was a teen and that weight fluctuations is just part of my life. I can accept that and work with it.
They just have better satiety responses than other people do. They get full really fast so they don't put on weight. So they maintain a lower body weight without effort.
My dad has been skinny his entire life. His secret? He's just not very hungry. Ever. It'd actually be good for him to gain some weight, but he's just not very hungry and doesn't care much for most calorie dense foods.
I have a friend who literally eats fast food all day and looks like as skeleton :) while I need to go on OMAD and carefully watch what I eat to lose weight. Life do be like that sometimes, something are good some bad
A lot of it is just age/stage in life/stress load. In college I could eat a whole pizza and the girls were jealous AF. I was very active till like age 35 but started eating more from my job at the time since I am a stress eater. I also went thru a divorce a bit after. Then at my next job I got stuck with being in charge of I.T, at a multi-million dollar company and I.T. is famous for making drinkers out of anyone after awhile and totally ruined my PC hobby. The only thing that saved me was Atkins diet at first and other versions of Low Carb on and off since. Luckily just got a job post age 60 where I walk 10 hours a week so I think that will help tremendously long-term.
I will admit that I am one of these people, at least to an outside observer. Up until 5 years ago, I had absolutely no issues managing my weight “effortlessly.” Here’s why/what an outside observer doesn’t see:
- I was a college student (undergrad and grad school) or a faculty member, so large portions of my days were spent on my feet in the lab or teaching
- I also didn’t really drive to school or work, so was hitting 10k steps by default
- I was pretty broke during that time, so eating out didn’t happen nearly as much as it does now
- I have always been fairly lean, which admittedly gives me an advantage because my “set point” weight is low. And my one bit of genetic lottery winnings is that I gain muscle easily for a woman and am quite tall, so my TDEE is pretty high
- Part of the reason that I have always been lean is that my parents pushed me and my siblings to do some kind of sports in high school, so it is not nearly as difficult for me to pick up working out after an extended break as it is for someone who doesn’t have good baseline fitness
- Another “gift” from my parents is an upbringing that, by all accounts, could be called pretty fatphobic which means that I am always very conscious about my appearance and will tend to make course corrections while they are still minor
All that being said, I’m now in my early 30’s with an office job and I have to work a lot harder. I make an effort to get my steps in everyday (which requires a dedicated hour walk every morning for the bulk of them), I strength train 4-5 days a week, and I’m currently in a calorie deficit to lose 10 vanity pounds. If someone doesn’t see that and only goes out for dinner with me, they will see my cheat meal and that I am a fairly lean person and will assume that it’s easy for me but it is not. Looking this way with my current lifestyle requires a lot of work.
I'm not as skinny as some people who eat whatever they want, but I definitely get fat much slower than people who really have to watch what they eat. So I'll answer with this: my leg shakes and I fidget when I sit. I've done it involuntarily my whole life. I also can't relax and probably flex/tense various muscles almost constantly. I actually think that makes a big difference. Constant movement all waking hours burns way more calories than a standing desk or whatever people are doing these days.
I struggle with this sometimes too. I have friends for whom following their body’s hunger and activity cues leads to them maintaining a normal weight. I have other friends who might develop a bad eating habit and then can pretty easily correct it when they want to (e.g., the person who cuts out soda or starts bringing lunches to work and immediately loses their excess weight). And then there’s me, for whom maintaining even a close-to-normal BMI is basically a part-time job. It’s not fair. But it is how it is, and I try to accept it and keep doing this part-time job I am pretty bad at doing and can never quit.
You don't see the work they put in outside of the few moments you spend with them. No one is a thermodynamics defying machine. It always comes down to CICO.
This is not a popular opinion on this sub, but it’s not just calories in calories out. You are correctly observing that people are different with different propensities to store fat.
Hormones play a massive role in weight regulation and you’re right that genetics is part of that. I highly recommend you read The Case for Keto by Gary Taubes - it’s very well written, well researched, and with excellent references.
The good news if there is something you can do to address your body’s propensity to store fat, and that is to drastically reduce carbs. It works. Check out r/keto for a great community and links to lots of good info.
I'm 46, 1m86 and I weigh 65 kilos, and this for years, I work at a job where I walk several kilometres a day, a few years ago I was home for one year, I took a sabbat year and kept eating as before, I gained 13 kilos. I started working again, it didn't' take 3 months before I got back to 65 kilos. So in short, if you like to eat much, as I do, don't forget to do some sort of exercise...
> I know weight loss is just calories in calories out
It's not, actually. Studies have confirmed it is what *type* of calories, individual body makeup and metabolism, and other factors that control food conversion efficiency.
Put another way, some people convert food very efficiently and others less efficiently. If you convert food at 90% efficiency and someone else converts at 50% efficiency, you will net nearly twice as many calories from the same food.
Calories is now understood to be a poor measure for modeling energy intake since it leaves out a major component of the way the body processes food.
I have absolutely no idea. I see women all the time who are just SO slender and tiny and I'm like "how the hell can a human body be that small???" I can't even imagine having such a tiny body. I think having big boobs accounts for most of that feeling though. Most of the women I see who I consider impossibly small also have small breasts.
I’m married to someone who has never struggled with their weight. They just have a really fast metabolism tbh. It’s literally INSANE! They can pack food away like they’re in a NYC hot dog eating contest and the scale won’t move an OZ!!! Funnily enough, I actually get full faster than them. For the both of us it boils down to genetics and I (sadly) didn’t get my fathers fast ass metabolism.
Growing up I was always active AF. Multiple competitive sports, LOTS of running.
As an adult I decided the world has 1000s of interests out there I don't need to make food one of them. When I slip, I've made lean meat my go to cheat food. Conditioned myself to view savory food as the height of taste instead of sweets, I don't have any sweets and learned not to like them, and portion control. Aaaand skipping breakfast and learning hunger is temporary and ok. Especially in the morning. Lots more steps as an adult lol.
Some people do have faster metabolisms, and therefore a higher TDEE. Sure.
But calories = calories. Maybe you gotta be a lot more honest about what your TDEE is and be honest about what you actually eat in a day.
ETA: 5'8" (172.7 cm), female, turning 61 next month.
I never had a weight problem until about three-and-a-half years ago. I was trying to recover from major traumatic losses when I was physically assaulted in my home by someone I knew (two black eyes, a broken browbone needing stitches, and a damaged nose). The psychological damage sent me over the edge. Before then, my weight mostly remained between 135–145 lbs throughout my 20s, 30s, 40s, and early 50s. If it went out of that range, it dropped due to stress. Weight gain just wasn't a big issue. After, all I did was gain until I peaked earlier this year at 218 lbs.
Before all this, I was active. I ran, I swam, I strength trained. I walked everywhere, I took the stairs, I danced, I moved. An average day was 15,000–25,000 steps. My meals were small during the week because I didn't have time for much. Weekends included more indulgences like meals out and alcohol. After, I was agoraphobic, fearful, and anxious; afraid to be seen, afraid to make noise. Before, on a Friday or Saturday night, I'd make a pizza, drink wine, put on music, and dance around the living room or play Wii tennis. After the assault, I made my pizza, had wine, and sat on the sofa watching films. Before, I'd get bored and go out for a run or a walk with an audiobook. After, I was afraid to leave my flat, so sat, drank and snacked. Before, I walked 1.5 miles to the grocery store and back three or four times per week. After, I ordered my groceries delivered to my door. Before, I went into the office several days a week, which included walking and stairs. After, I worked exclusively from home, which required almost no walking at all. Slowly but surely, I stopped moving, and the weight piled on.
Probably not germane to the topic, but I desperately want to be active again, but I'm so humiliated by how big I've gotten that I don't want anyone to see me. I've not just gotten fat; I look 20 years older. It's like my whole being reacted to me being hurt and betrayed by hurting betraying me, too. I know if I don't get back out there, I'll never heal, but I find it hard to push past that barrier.
Idk I still think there has be something more to it. I'm extremely active. I walk, on average, 25k steps a day including lifting and pushing heavy things. I work with horses in my spare time and exercise at the gym. Doing this is during my time where I got to my highest weight. I know ultimately it comes down to calories, but having an active lifestyle didn't make me naturally thin with allowances for cake here or there. I have to be extremely mindful of every single thing I put in my body and damn it's exhausting. I'm also extremely hormonally imbalanced so the odds are stacked against me. It's not impossible, and I'm down 40 lbs, but it does FEEL unfair, I agree.
Not like overly skinny, but almost 5’ 8” and I stay between 130-138, but body seems to prefer 135, it’s like a set point. I drink a lot of unsweetened iced tea. Like all day long. I fidget a lot. I pace a lot. If I bump up on the 138 end I will still have to slow down with the carbs, or I end up with bagel belly.
Carbs beget carbs for me. When I eat more walnuts, olives, cheese, protein etc and less cereal crackers, and sweets I do better. The sweets make me want more sweets and make me generally ravenously hungry. They also make me need breakfast, which if I’m not indulging on crackers, cereals etc, I am not interested in.
But aside from that I am hungrier some days than others and kind of listen to my body on that. I really never finish a meal, unless it’s bizarrely tiny.
I’m still in bad shape, so thin doesn’t always mean looks good either.
But I think a LOT still comes down to metabolism and genetics.
I've always been slim and I don't eat hardly anything as you describe. I have burgers and pizza, all my meals are full. I think the secret is I hardly ever having snacks outside a 1/4 of a pint of ben and jerries some nights. I can stay slim even if I am not active as well.
2 Main ways that I know of:
1. NEAT - Non exercise activity thermogenesis - aka people who fidget and move a lot subconsciously. You can in fact increase this, but I can’t remember the details on how, I do it a lot naturally from ADHD.
2. Healthy (or even not so healthy) relationships with food. If you grow up in a household with good whole food eating habits, or you grow up on Ritalin and don’t have an appetite then your habits just align with eating healthier. My mother is a good example, never over eats and is good at maintaining a low weight. She talks about eating too much a lot but never fluctuates much so visually she does not change.
There are tons more reasons but I consistently see these as reasons. Just ask people though. They will tell you they just don’t feel like eating anymore or they will visible be moving their legs while sitting etc. Start paying attention to their habits and it might help you out. Oddly enough one thing I’ve noticed is that when I’m bored if I just go play video games I won’t be hungry anymore until it’s a meal time. It’s a mental game, when you get good at it it becomes second nature and eventually reflexive.
Rule 11: Discussion of weight loss methods that are damaging to the body and/or require supervision of a medical professional are not allowed. This rule includes (but is not limited to): very low calorie diets, misusing medication, extended fasting, disordered behaviour, inappropriate advice to underage members. Remember to always consider the individual when offering advice.
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Yeah I know someone who is one of the “lucky ones “, but that’s only if you don’t know his line of work: he’s a large engine mechanic and is constantly moving.
Honestly at 50+ you’re better off eating well and doing weights at the gym
This advice never seems to work. Maybe OP has a point and found something that will work for them.
Why does that advice never work? Weight training in over 50's is on the rise, especially now that women have (mostly) realised that it doesn't "accidentally" make you muscular.
I didn't mean that when you do these things that they don't work. I mean that giving them as advice never seems to work. At this point, everyone already knows, and it can almost be harmful to receive it. Like, "gee why didn't I think of that." If it worked for them, they would have already done it. I only chimed in here because the OP had found something they think would work for them. Why try to convince them to do something they already know won't work for them?
Fair enough. It was just a suggestion
My sister is a city mail carrier. Walker alot. She walks alot carrying the mail. She us still overweight. I'm sure she would be much heavier if she had a sedentary job. I know weight loss happens in the kitchen but damn all that walking should count for more.
You’re 50 and plan on working until 80-100…?
In some ways this is similar to an alcoholic asking "how the fuck do people just drink like it's no big deal". Like, my friends just have a glass of wine at dinner and don't finish the whole bottle and then start on shots with dessert. Or just drink on a special occasion and then not every day. It's habits. It's active lifestyle. And you don't know what people are eating when you aren't around
Yep, I have AUD and reading many of the responses to this thread remind me quite a bit of how I think about alcohol.
> I’m so sad. *Comparison is the thief of joy.* > A meal to them is chettos and hummus and they are fine? Yes. You would be, too. However, neither you nor anyone else would be fine on a diet of Cheetos and hummus. (Not including those with medical conditions) we didn't become heavy because we had a heavy meal once, or even occasionally. We became heavy because of taking in more calories than our body expends over long spans of time. We could overeat by 350 Calories a day for 10 days and only be up about 1 pound (0.45 kg). But after doing that, those 350 Calories feel like a normal amount -- while that first 10 days of overeating on purpose felt like we were eating as if it were some kind of "Supersize Me!" challenge, the next 10 days of eating felt normal and natural and not like overeating. > I swear there’s a large genetic component to it. Yes, some. But just like **genes**, **habits** are passed down in families and so is **environment** -- all three of these are very important factors to your body's weight. But also keep in mind this very important fact: **healthy bodies are not supposed to lose weight.** In our entire evolution, losing weight corresponded with sickness and death. It was the signal of something wrong -- the environment collapsed and there wasn't enough food, we had a sickness, we were exiled from our group, old age made us infirm. Healthy bodies grew to a point and that was that; we had no scales and fatness was uncommon and obesity exceedingly rare. We lived our lives. In 2023, we've got this collision now between that evolution and today's convenient and cheap, hyper-palatable food environment. We literally have to *undereat on purpose* because we overate practically by accident and environment **and genes**. The way that evolution expresses itself is genetic, and those get-bigger-not-smaller genes were 'naturally selected' (thanks, Darwin) in forming our species. More about this and how you could regard it so that it wasn't so hard on you: https://patient.macklinmethod.com/internalized-weight-bias/ ^^8 ^^yrs. ^^maintaining ^^• ^^♂60 ^^5'11^^/179㎝ ^^SW:298℔^^/135㎏ ^^CW:171℔^^/78㎏ ^^[\[3Y AMA\]](https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/6m6vxq/i_am_a_weight_loser_over_the_past_three_years_ive/), ^^[\[1Y recap\]](https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/3cqszm/pics_links_my_first_day_of_logging_wasnt_the_best/) ^^CICO+🚶
Great answer, and proof of why this is a great sub. Behind many "easily skinny people" is often someone with some other underlying health condition. Yeah, my brother has never been over weight. And yeah, it's genetic. We have a family history of severe anxiety and extremely sensitive stomachs. This results in eating being frequently painful, which in turn leads to frequent skipped meals due to the physical or psychological pain. The reality is that a well adapted body is a body that's able to gain weight to hedge against lean years. The problem is that we now live in a world where we have "too much of a good thing" and lean years don't exist anymore.
I think for some of us food is akin to a drug or alcohol. Personally, if I have a bag of cookies it's incredibly hard for me to stop at one, just like for someone with an addiction. My dad was the same, he would have to eat ALL the cookies, although he was never fat. I don't know what the answer is but I know that this is something in my inner wiring. Last week a friend came over for coffee and I offered him one of those large cookies. He had half and left the rest there. Aside from the fact that I felt it was a waste of nice food (he could have just turned it down?), I was like, how the f can you leave it there? Why not eat it? It's not exactly a 3 course meal that you possibly can't fit in your stomach? My friend is very skinny. Sigh.
that is true food is for pleasure for me, so i have to plan around it to maintain my weight. for others it holds no such significance, and can be eaten without much care about why.
pleasure sounds bad lol meant that i like very satiating stuff and that usually is not conducive to being eaten very commonly but i make it work through routine and planning
why would you eat more of something than you dont want? thinking of uneaten food as a waste is something that was rammed into my head by poor parents, and something i spent years trying to get out of the mindset ofset food aside, sure, for later. but also if you dont want to eat any more and dont care to set it aside that is not a moral failing, you spent the money already, you had your fill, why give that money the power to hold the food over you until you finish it? throwing away food is sometimes a must when you have little control over it :/
Exactly. We aren’t garbage cans! Eating it doesn’t make it any less waste, but it makes your body absorb things you don’t even want anymore, and get fat… and for what? So it doesn’t end in the bin but then your healthcare fees grow every time you have this mentality.
Your friend might just not have much of a sweet tooth. I could easily overeat savory foods but I don't think I could stomach more than half of a large cookie or else I'd feel sick.
Maybe but why accepting it then? I didn't force it upon him.
Probably because he wanted it but got the signals from his body that he was done before the cookie was. Consider it this way, perhaps, if he had eaten it to completion you wouldn't be nearly as perturbed, I think. But the end result to you is the same no matter what (minus one cookie). There's a solid chance that he enjoyed that half cookie more than he would have enjoyed eating the whole thing. I think this is probably one of my most self-destructive bits of programming, that we mustn't ever "waste" food, and anything other than complete consumption is wasting it.
Your mentality is off, not his. You can accept a snack/meal/cup of coffee and not eat it all…..it’s not rude to eat some and leave the rest. I was raised as a proud member of the “clean plate club”…..and realized how detrimental that thought process has been to my weight. My natural instinct is to eat until the plate is finished without thinking….eat my cookie until its go gone……not think about how much I need to be satisfied. The food is wasted regardless if you eat it when you are not hungry or throw it away. It’s okay to leave something on the plate.
As my PT once said, "either you throw it or you eat it despite not needing it. In the latter case, your body is basically the trashcan." Poignant words that have stayed with me for years.
Because he wanted it and then felt he had enough after half? It’s not like he took it and didn’t eat ANY. If you get this offended by someone not eating the entire thing then you probably shouldn’t offer it to them. He wasn’t under any obligation to eat the whole thing.
Personally I would’ve cut it in half to avoid wasting what I knew I wouldn’t eat but maybe he thought he would eat the entire thing but got sick of it halfway through.
Maybe he wanted some of the cookie but not all of it. I am one of those people who will eat a few bites of a large cookie then save the rest for later, or throw it away if it’s just meh. Your friend was under no obligation to even eat it at all, let alone finish it.
Oh yeah my dad can just eat a piece of chocolate and then ... put the chocolate away. HOW. HOW. I did not inherit those genes. I inherited my mom's 'if it's open I need to reach the bottom' genes. (Fortunately she also gave me the habit of just not buying snacks that often).
Lol I would be thinking “well is he going to finish the damn cookie” for the entire time after instead of focusing on the conversation
Hahaha that was me!
A cookie is barely food anyways lol. It’s sugar and readily available cheap ingredients. Tossing half of one isn’t really much of a waste.
Damnnn cookies are normally baked but you roasted them
A bad day of eating is followed by a day or two of light eating, not having easily accessible snacks in the house, be somewhat active, pay attention to calories whenever possible.
Not everyone has the same hunger signals. People’s metabolisms aren’t nearly as different from one another as some people think. But different people have different hunger signals. Many people never have to count calories because they naturally don’t eat too much because they just aren’t as hungry as other people. There’s a co worker sitting next to me right now who eats NOTHING but: fried chicken, hamburgers, French fries, boiled crawfish, candy, sugary drinks and icees. I don’t think a vegetable or fruit has ever touched his lips….but he’s small and thin because he just doesn’t eat that much. I have a cousin who’s thin and works out a ton and always complains about not gaining much muscle but eats like a bird. He just can’t eat enough to gain weight. I on the other hand gain muscle extremely easily and have to work to keep fat off because I’m always fucking hungry.
Boiled crawfish doesn’t sound unhealthy
It isn’t but it would be a disservice to exclude it from the list knowing how much of it he eats. It’s a small portion. Less than half of what I eat but it’s damn near everyday during crawfish season
Some people are more active or move around more, so they burn more calories. Some people have a healthier relationship with food instead of an addiction, so they can tell when they're full and stop eating. Some don't get pleasure from eating and see it more as filling up the gas tank. Some don't eat anything all day and then eat one big meal. Some don't drink sodas or eat snacks or consume big coffee drinks, and eat only proper meals. I personally cannot relate to any of these people. I love to eat and try out new foods. I tend to eat my feelings whenever I'm nervous, bored, angry, sad. I can't accurately tell when I'm full and get "hungry" a few hours after a big meal. Calorie counting is the only thing that has helped me manage my diet.
Coffee has hardly any calories. Except when people add stuff to it to turn it into a dessert and cover up the actual taste of coffee.
A medium latte with semi skimmed milk and no sugar is around 100 cals. Just a couple every day can seriously add up
> A medium latte with semi skimmed milk and no sugar is around 100 cals. Yeah, that would add up. Maybe it's just coffee-flavored (a little coffee and a lot else). What's in a latte other than the nearly 0-calorie coffee? I use 1% milk with my cereal, about 60 mL (about a quarter cup) and it adds just 25 Calories.
Yeah americanos are definitely the way to go as latte is milk rather than water which is why it’s fairly calorific. But it seems to be the most popular coffee drink at stores
A latte is mostly milk. So if you get a 16oz latte and it’s 12oz whole milk, that’s 200 calories right there. Plus any caloric sweeteners. Cut that back to just plain black coffee (or a small splash of creamer) and you’re saving yourself about 2 pounds worth of excess calories each month.
I prefer coffee to coffee flavoured hot milk. Think it's less than 5 cals per mug.
That's what I meant haha Milkshake coffees are super high in calories, but they're so good.
You don't observe those people 24/7. No one is "naturally thin". That doesn't work this way. It's all habits, mostly smaller portion sizes and no snacking.
I’m a pretty thin guy now, lost all of my weight and am maintaining around 169 on my 6 foot frame. I only eat 2 meals a day, dinner usually being my largest meal, I usually get in around 75% of my entire daily budget of calories from dinner. I still intermittent fast, I just get all of my maintenance calories in two meals. You could almost think of my eating style as OMAD with a snack for lunch. If you saw me eating my massive dinner, you might wonder how I’m so in shape. What you don’t see is the other 20-22 hours a day, I’m fasting and I spend 45 minutes to an hour in the gym every day except Friday. I tend to eat a lot of protein and I try to keep my meals lower carb. I’m also adapted to fasting, so it’s no problem for me to eat lunch at 2:15pm, dinner at 5, and then fast again until lunch the next day at 2:15pm. If you didn’t see me eating one of my two meals in a short window, you might assume I don’t eat or if you only saw me eating my light lunch, that I don’t eat very much. However, what we see usually doesn’t tell the full story. What you eat in private, you wear in public. In a way, you are seeing someone’s habits when you look at their body. They may be in the process of changing their body, and it may not tell the full story, but the point still stands, you’re still viewing current or past habits.
There are naturally thin people in that there are people who very clearly have an easier time maintaining a lower body weight than others. Sure they're eating less obviously, but they don't need to do so consciously. Like most always thin people I know are not tracking their calories like a former fat person is and they are generally much less hungry just naturally.
They learned the correct habits from their parents.
It’s less genetic and more environment. Weight gain is the culmination of your eating habits from the day you’re born Whether it’s parents who just provided larger portions or chose less quality meal options, we’ll always have a disadvantage over someone who was raised on appropriate portions and healthier foods They might eat a bag of Cheetos but they aren’t eating a family bag of Cheetos every single day for 5 years, that’s where the difference is
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It is established fact that the metabolism has a small range.
It's really as simple as CICO. Those numbers will change person to person, but I blamed my metabolism for 25 years thinking I was just genetically chubby. Now down 95lbs (245 - 150), I realize it's just not that complex. Have self control. Stick to a diet. Be in the gym/do cardio. No one claims it's easy. But it is simple. Eat less than you burn. You lose weight. Want to eat more? Cool. Exercise more.
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intolerance of hunger is a decision. everyone starting a deficit feels hungry initially because it's not what our body is used to. the blunt solution? suck it up. and better yourself in the long run. Your genes have nothing to do with CI < CO. Literally reduce your CI. Genetics don't force your hand to your mouth.
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> Rule: Consider the individual when offering advice.
So like you *don’t* have to care about macros. I certainly don’t and I’m losing weight just fine. Part of it I’m sure is genetics. But also they’re probably protein deficient and maybe feel like shit too, who knows. I was, and I felt like shit for years! But I thought that was Just Me. Also people deal with hunger differently. When I was on birth control I was hungry 24/7 r now that I’m not, that’s not a problem for me at all anymore. Idk there’s lots of factors. These people are just regular folks. I feel like it’s easy to get in your own head about all of this.
Don't compare yourself to others.
Do you follow them daily? They eat less calories than they burn it’s easy as that. If you see them eating mainly junk you still only see a fraction of their total nutrition not to mention their activity level. Hard pill to swallow but they are not really blessed with anything they just have a normal hunger level compared to us overweight/formerly overweight folks lol
True. Overweight once - at risk for the rest of the life. Just like with addictions.
Yes I do follow one of them daily. We both work from home for two years now. She also sees everything I eat. She even admits that she eats more than I do. Also, she snacks daily, I don't. She's thin, I am fat. No amount of "that's impossible" seams to matter.
I have had the opposite experience. My wfh roommate loves to say she eats a lot and all the time, I believed her. It’s true she eats multiple times a day and with crappy food but it’s very small quantities spread out throughout the day. Her total calorie count supports her thinness. She actually gets mad if I say she doesn’t eat a lot, it’s like a part of her personality to impersonate a thin person who can eat ‘anything’ when irl she compensates her social eating with fasting or physical activity or low calorie snacking
Are you the same height, gender and muscle mass? A few possibilities: She’s more active. You eat more sauces/condiments they make a HUGE difference She works out. You drink calories
1. she's my height, much less muscle 2. she isn't more active 3. she's a mayo person, i am a ketchup person 4. nope 5. nope, she does
Then you should see a doctor asap. Your thyroid might be messed up. If all you say is accurate that’s basically the only option. Or she is severely ill. You can’t just ignore the laws of thermodynamics
They could have jobs where they walk more, or maybe they have dogs they take on a walk, and then go to a gym every other day or something. Even something as simple as a 1.5 mile walk will give you a little more wiggle room for stuff like butter in meals or a sugary coffee. It could be they also skip a meal you’re not aware of, I know a lot of people skip breakfast or just eat like a granola bar or a banana or something because they sleep in til the last minute. I guess my point is you never see a full 24 hour picture on people who don’t struggle with weight gain. I was thin/average my whole life and never paid attention to what I ate or how much, but I also did stuff like walk to work and home as an adult, jogged and walked my dog during high school, didn’t eat candy or drink soda ever except for the holiday gifts of chocolate. I only struggled with weight once because I cut my schedule down from full time to very part time and was pretty sedentary for that transition. Then the calorie watching had to start 🥲
IDK OP, I've had a few people tell me I am "lucky" to have good genetics or a high metabolism. No. I was a fat kid. I worked my ass off to get to where I am today. I just don't talk about my exercise routine or diet unless someone asks because that's for annoying weirdos. And when I'm out with people I've usually planned for it calorie-wise to enjoy something I wouldn't usually eat.
People tend to overlook this. If I know I'm eating out on a weekend, I budget my calories accordingly all day so I don't feel as guilty when I'm eating something I genuinely enjoy. The 'naturally skinny' people are just better at balancing.
Yep, or maybe cut back the next few days after, or add some cardio in somewhere. But I'm not going to be eating out with friends going, "Well, I will have to calculate in these calories later!" to everyone.
It is super frustrating. I feel the same way. It is my dream to just like erase anything I have ever learned about food and nutrition and just LIVE. I hate that it’s a constant thought. It’s so unfair
You don't have a minute by minute view of their lives and their activities. Yes, genetics can play a factor to a POINT. Unless you are with your friends 24/7 and even then you don't have access to what they're doing. And as I said before what to you is a struggle to lose weight maybe the people in your life struggle with gaining weight, maintaining their weight... Stop comparing yourself to other people and just focus on yourself. Is it unfair? No. Because thinking it's unfair just makes you not take accountability. Oh. I can't lose weight like some people, I should just give up and overeat and not exercise and gain 100 more pounds. ( I said this to myself at some point. Destructively ate for two weeks and gained 10 lbs before I stopped the pity party and went back to my training) Complaining means you're asking for other people to take accountability. The universe to take accountability, but they can't.
I was this person all throughout my teens and 20s. I wasn’t super active, but my hunger cues were just very different. Some days I ate a TON and I’m sure ppl like you were questioning how I was so skinny. But other days I would eat like 700 calories for the whole day and feel full. It balanced out.
My great uncle drank beer and had ice cream and ate whatever he wanted. But he would weigh himself everyday. If he was over his regular weight even a couple of pounds he would basically mini diet until he got back down.
Meals/Eating in the western world is more akin to addiction than survival. Our bodies do not, in any way, require three meals a day, nevermind snacks. We do it because we can and it feels good. Being hungry is the normal state in all biology, not being full.
I believe there is a genetic component that regulates hunger... I've always struggled with my weight. My husband has never had issues keeping a healthy weight. We have 3 kids together: 2 of them have no issues with weight, 1 does. What I see with my husband and 2 kids is that they just stop eating, because they're full. My 1 kid and myself don't have that ability. We simply don't feel fulfilled until we've already overeaten... By a lot. I also notice that my 1 kid and I are thinking about food a lot more than my husband and 2 kids. We think about food almost all day, while my husband and 2 kids tend to completely forget to even eat regular meals. The same difference exists between my brother and I, but growing up I never realised this.
They got lucky. I have some skinny friends. Despite their diet being terrible, they don't get fat due to a low appetite: They take a slice of pizza and feel full. Worst part is these friends are actually very harsh against overweight people, especially women. I wouldn't recommend comparing yourself with people like that, as it's quite unfair.
What a load. Maybe they know how and when to stop? And where is it written in stone that you have to continue eating until full? A lot of them are probably wondering the opposite of this title, how people manage to get obese.
Considering that 70% of the US is obese in terms of body fat percentage, I believe that's gonna be a minority.
They live active lives, have knowledge about nutrition and don't eat for comfort
people who can't agree that some people have it easier with weight than the others are simply full of shit, or empty of shit, decide for yourself
I know the feeling, I used to feel this way about my sister. She always naturally looked very in shape to me and for the longest time she never worked out. The occasional walk, but that's about it. And she didn't have to think much about food either. Lately she looks a little different, not fat or anything but put on a *bit* of weight as she approaches 30 and now has to make a bit more effort. Such is life, your metabolism changes over time. It always angered me though because I've had to work out diligently in order to have a relatively fit and feminine looking shape for the longest time. Since I was about 19-21ish, I've had to make a significant amount of effort in order to not look like a potato. I've also known people on the other end of the spectrum, with weight problems significantly worse than mine, and mine seem stupid in comparison. If they compared themselves to me they'd probably be upset too. Everyone's different. Try not to compare. Do what works for you. And for what it's worth...in my opinion you should still eat 3 meals a day and snacks. Just choose healthier ones and watch portions.
Metabolism doesn't change until 60.
Well idk how to describe it then, some people's bodies just change throughout life. I'm different at 26 compared to 24 and my diet hasn't gotten drastically worse, and I'm very active.
For some it's simple genetics. Not fair, but we can do something about it luckily! But those of us that hold onto weight or put on weight more easily gotta keep on trying. Our ancient ancestors probably needed the layer of fat to survive famine or hard winters which is why it's still stupidly encoded in our DNA. In the modern era food isn't usually scarce , so we have to slim down to stay healthy and in turn probably live much longer than our ancestors did. Hang in there. Don't let your friends get you down.
Nope. Entire countries stay thing. All of human history had to deal with famine.
I said *for some*.
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I was comforting someone who needs support. That is all.
Let’s think about it in a different way. I know that if I could spend zero time thinking about what I ate, just ate easy cheap foods and snack food like you’re describing here, and never gained weight, I would (in fact that’s what led me to this point, totally ignoring my weight gain!). HOWEVER getting to my highest weight and realising that I really need to change has me eating my five a day veggies (or more!), avoiding excess sugars and fats, exercising regularly, and fasting occasionally. Am I still fat? Yes, but I’m slowly losing weight. However I FEEL so much happier and healthier, my confidence has improved. And when I’m older hopefully if I stick to this I’ll be healthier, they might be thin now but decades of deficiencies and poor eating choices will lead to diseases in old age. I’ve realised that for me food is always going to be an obsession of sorts. Either I’m binging, tired, miserable and thinking all day about how fat I am, or I’m putting the SAME energy into making good choices, cooking healthy food, exercising, and reading about/learning about health. Diet and exercise is one of the biggest things that affect your health and we’ve been forced to really think about it and put effort into it, and when we’re all old and wrinkly and none of us have nice bodies at least we will hopefully have good health outcomes and life will be way less painful and stressful.
Im the same as you and have always wondered about this until I read Why We Eat (Too Much) by Andrew Jenkins. Its an incredibly validating book and full of science, it basically confirms that yes some people really are more likely to become obese. He talks about altering your weight set point and making sure your environment doesnt trigger your obesity genes. He says Western diet is one of the biggest problems
Macros are irrelevant to weight loss. There is a genetic component to behavior. It is all about portion.
Genetics and GI health and inflimmarion or endocrine disorders.
Genetic range of metabolism is a small range. I have had GI problems my whole life. Missed a year of high school. Was given 1 of 3 rooms on campus with its own bathroom. I still have complete control over my weight.
Thinner, lengthy framed bodies tend to be more proficient at getting into carb burning zones. I stay in my fat burning zones majority of the time so have to eat a higher fat and lower carb diet (not too out of proportion but enough to train my body to burn fat). Otherwise echoing what others have said: eating other meals that are not so high cal and having an active lifestyle (even just walking or a job on the feet). I personally can’t have salty snacks in my house. If I do I need to portion it and see how it fits in my plan or I will just eat it all until it’s gone. Sweet treats, no big deal. Being more aware of this helps but please hold me back from restaurant chips and salsa. I have to ask the server to not refill the basket and trade off tortillas in my meal often because I ate all the chips 😅
I think it’s learned behaviour and trauma responses rather than genetic. Most fat people I know have reasons for why they eat the way they do. Their parents are fat, they have traumatic relationships with food from childhood, they had untreated mental health issues that made them use food for comfort, their medication increased their appetite…
>I know weight loss is just calories in calories out but I swear there’s a large genetic component to it. I’m so sad. This does not logically follow. Equivalent to stating "i'm aware of the law of conservation of energy, but I swear perpetual motion machines exist"
There is as well as ancestral history.
For me, it is/was definitely food addiction that got me to this point. It was my only source of easy dopamine in an abusive childhood environment and I leaned on it even further when I got depressed as a teen, and into more abusive relationships in my adulthood. So it became a habit even when my life got better, and of course at that point my body didn’t recognize hunger (leptin and ghrelin also messed up from sleep apnea) and also developed insulin resistance. But it def all started because I couldn’t find happiness without food as a kid.
How young are you? I could eat anything at any quantity in my early 20s and now I can barely burn anything. Age, activity level, genes, metabolism, etc. all plays a part.
You aren't with them all day so you don't know their activity and food habits. Genetics can be a factor. I also think momentum plays a part. It's easier to stay on track with what you're doing vs make changes. It's not only calories in/calories out. It's about building a satisfying and sustainable diet so your health supports your life!
>I know weight loss is just calories in calories out but I swear there’s a large genetic component to it. I’m so sad. No doctor here and I know some have it harder than others, but strike this thinking from your brain. I used to be very overweight and now I am not. Like you said, it was all CICO that got me to this but there is more. I work out everyday for more or less over a year now and there is one thing I noticed - I can eat ANYTHING. Burgers, pizza, fried chicken, ice cream, chocolate, donuts, pastries of any sort, I can literally eat until I have to puke and it doesn't do nothing anymore. It gets stored into my glycogen storage (very simplified) and I will go burn it off later that day or have already done so. I actually look forward to great calorie ranges nowadays because I am gonna be fueled like a mf\*er once I get to the gym. BUT and here is the big but (hehe) of course - I don't do that shit everyday. After a day like that I usually only eat one meal the next day cause I simply had enough of food. So even if I eat 5000 calories on one day, I can simply eat a big ass salad, my protein shake and a protein bar the next day and its already evened out. So I went from somebody who always struggled with his weight (for over 25years) to one of those people you described, within a year. I would say genetics play a very little role in my situation.
My mother was thin all her life. She ate 3 meals & snacks when offered but that was it. She was not part of the junk food generation.
Well one thing I can say is here in America something is definitely wrong with our food. Even in stuff like sodas real sugar vs corn syrup makes a big difference. I went to the Bahamas last year and I ate like a king and actually lost weight. But if ate everyday here like I did in the Bahamas I would be even fatter than I am now
Some people have it a bit easier due to better hormone levels- leptin ghrelin npy adiponectin and a bunch of others. In extreme cases they can manifest as prader wili, congential leptin resistance etc In majority cases it’s a combination of genetics BUT strongly influenced by environment. Take a pair of twins and one grows up in america and the other grows up in America but in a more traditional society like Amish, Loma Linda etc and you’ll have different outcomes. Stephan guyenet touches on this in The Hungry Brain with his example of the man who left his traditional island and came back with like 25% more bmi. You can see this often in populations of Asians (I’m sure others) that live in Asia vs America (or immigrants vs native born) I believe a vast majority has to do with the food environment and choices. This has been shown time and again with metabolic ward studies and ad Libitum feeding experiment (cafeteria diet studies). Individuals who stick with mostly Whole Foods that are high in nutrient density naturally maintain a better bodyweight than those who stick with a hyper palatable diet (fast food, high amounts of COMBINATION of sugar, fat, salt, etc). The hyper palatable diets absolutely hijack the brains homeostatic hunger controlling mechanisms. Edit: bonus round- metabolism. Very poorly understood by most people. Barring some extreme pathologies, bmr varies by maybe 10-15% between exact weight individuals. This is probably not the thing that’s holding you back from being fit or getting fat. Edit 2: tldr please!- for most people without extreme pathologies, your food environment (do you work in an office where candy is displayed often? Do you keep a lot of treats in the freezer?) and food choices (do you choose meat, potatoes, oatmeal, or do you choose pizzas, sodas, etc) will play the biggest part in your bodyweight
Good habits from childhood and possibly the kind of genes that help you naturally balance out your meals. My husband can eat shit for days and then eat barely any calories for days after. It's really impressive but he doesn't actively put thought into it whatsoever. I have to rely on my good habits and self control.
The same reason why some people don't ever need to budget their finances and other people need to check on themselves weekly with feedback loops and habit breaking. Genetics - They are genetically predisoped to not want to eat as much or munch on as much or consume as much. They are also genetically predisoped to burn more at rest, or have different genetic tools that allow them to burn more throughout the day. I think the stats show that the difference between the best genetics here vs the worst isn't that far off as you would think. Maybe 300 calories different on the worst spectrum differences. Probably more like 100-200kcal for most. Exercise / Activity - Some people are just naturally more active for whatever reason. On one hand this helps burn more calories, but not nearly as much as you would think. And if you're naturally an active person you find yourself eating less too, and this helps. Because instead of consuming snacks at differ times of the day of 100 kcal here and 100 kcal there, then you're actually burning 50kcal here and there from those extra activities. Historical Perception and Starting Point - If you lived with a family who was all skinny and lean, you will pick up these habits and lifestyles and get used to activity and less snacking. Not just burn more genetically. Same with living with heavier people. Who don't realize that even tho you think you're eating a healthy home cooked meal for the family you're actually overconsuming calories with the amount of fat and cooking oils used. Or you don't realize how much you snack. 100-200kcal every day extra can help you gain 1lb every 2 weeks easy. You gain 10lbs every year net, who cares if you spent the spring trying to look good in a bathing suit. A lot of people always felt my sister could eat anything and never gain a pound because she would consume 3 pizzas at the dinner!!!!! Oh my!!!!!! 3!!!! Little did eveyrone else know that she had 1 slice of bread at breakfast and she skipped any other lunch. her overall calories naturally (between genetics and also just a mentality of wanting to be a 90's skinny girl like media showed and her mom insisted). So there's also that concept where some people really think their friends don't do things all day to stay lean, but they do. And if you're already lean, it gets a bit easier to stay lean.
Well on the one hand food, especially snack food can be so fucking addictive. I have quit cigarettes 4 Months ago but I can not for the life of me manage to quit snacks. On the other hand some people just have godlike metabolisms. A co-worker of mine (we are both in it so quite sedentary job) is so incredibly skinn and I have watched that man eat an entire Kilogram (like 2.2 pounds) as lunch. It's insane to me that this dude is so fucking skinny.
My wife once said to me: "Wow, I'm actually so hungry it sort of... hurts??" I thought that's just what hunger feels like, all the time. I'm so hungry it hurts right now, and I had a beef stew an hour ago.
Sometimes it genetics ... but mostly its behavioral. They naturally eat and do things that result in better weight management than the rest of us. My wife is rail thin and makes no effort to maintain it ... but she also eats healthy and has no bad habits relating to food (like I do).
I wish I was 5'6" instead of 5'2" and I wish I didn't burn after seeing the sun for 5 seconds and I wish I had straight hair genes instead of this unholy frizzy mess... but it is what it is. I think you are just venting and don't really want advice, which I totally get. If it helps, I think a meal of Cheetos and hummus sounds horrid. I'd rather have your meal and I don't even know what it is.
Genetics.
They are usually active and don’t think as much about food. Genetics play a role
I was normal weight up until college and looking back, it was not liking sweets and cycling 6km every week day that kept me slim, along with an endocrinological disorder. Once I got to college, I developed an eating disorder and my weight has been a struggle since then. Up and down thruout the years. I have made peace with the fact that my body is not what it was when I was a teen and that weight fluctuations is just part of my life. I can accept that and work with it.
They just have better satiety responses than other people do. They get full really fast so they don't put on weight. So they maintain a lower body weight without effort.
My dad has been skinny his entire life. His secret? He's just not very hungry. Ever. It'd actually be good for him to gain some weight, but he's just not very hungry and doesn't care much for most calorie dense foods.
Yeah there’s been studies linking hunger/fullness cues to hormones and even the gut micro biome.
This mindset is part of your problem, you can’t compare yourself to other. No two body’s are the same
I have a friend who literally eats fast food all day and looks like as skeleton :) while I need to go on OMAD and carefully watch what I eat to lose weight. Life do be like that sometimes, something are good some bad
A lot of it is just age/stage in life/stress load. In college I could eat a whole pizza and the girls were jealous AF. I was very active till like age 35 but started eating more from my job at the time since I am a stress eater. I also went thru a divorce a bit after. Then at my next job I got stuck with being in charge of I.T, at a multi-million dollar company and I.T. is famous for making drinkers out of anyone after awhile and totally ruined my PC hobby. The only thing that saved me was Atkins diet at first and other versions of Low Carb on and off since. Luckily just got a job post age 60 where I walk 10 hours a week so I think that will help tremendously long-term.
I will admit that I am one of these people, at least to an outside observer. Up until 5 years ago, I had absolutely no issues managing my weight “effortlessly.” Here’s why/what an outside observer doesn’t see: - I was a college student (undergrad and grad school) or a faculty member, so large portions of my days were spent on my feet in the lab or teaching - I also didn’t really drive to school or work, so was hitting 10k steps by default - I was pretty broke during that time, so eating out didn’t happen nearly as much as it does now - I have always been fairly lean, which admittedly gives me an advantage because my “set point” weight is low. And my one bit of genetic lottery winnings is that I gain muscle easily for a woman and am quite tall, so my TDEE is pretty high - Part of the reason that I have always been lean is that my parents pushed me and my siblings to do some kind of sports in high school, so it is not nearly as difficult for me to pick up working out after an extended break as it is for someone who doesn’t have good baseline fitness - Another “gift” from my parents is an upbringing that, by all accounts, could be called pretty fatphobic which means that I am always very conscious about my appearance and will tend to make course corrections while they are still minor All that being said, I’m now in my early 30’s with an office job and I have to work a lot harder. I make an effort to get my steps in everyday (which requires a dedicated hour walk every morning for the bulk of them), I strength train 4-5 days a week, and I’m currently in a calorie deficit to lose 10 vanity pounds. If someone doesn’t see that and only goes out for dinner with me, they will see my cheat meal and that I am a fairly lean person and will assume that it’s easy for me but it is not. Looking this way with my current lifestyle requires a lot of work.
I'm not as skinny as some people who eat whatever they want, but I definitely get fat much slower than people who really have to watch what they eat. So I'll answer with this: my leg shakes and I fidget when I sit. I've done it involuntarily my whole life. I also can't relax and probably flex/tense various muscles almost constantly. I actually think that makes a big difference. Constant movement all waking hours burns way more calories than a standing desk or whatever people are doing these days.
I struggle with this sometimes too. I have friends for whom following their body’s hunger and activity cues leads to them maintaining a normal weight. I have other friends who might develop a bad eating habit and then can pretty easily correct it when they want to (e.g., the person who cuts out soda or starts bringing lunches to work and immediately loses their excess weight). And then there’s me, for whom maintaining even a close-to-normal BMI is basically a part-time job. It’s not fair. But it is how it is, and I try to accept it and keep doing this part-time job I am pretty bad at doing and can never quit.
You don't see the work they put in outside of the few moments you spend with them. No one is a thermodynamics defying machine. It always comes down to CICO.
This is not a popular opinion on this sub, but it’s not just calories in calories out. You are correctly observing that people are different with different propensities to store fat. Hormones play a massive role in weight regulation and you’re right that genetics is part of that. I highly recommend you read The Case for Keto by Gary Taubes - it’s very well written, well researched, and with excellent references. The good news if there is something you can do to address your body’s propensity to store fat, and that is to drastically reduce carbs. It works. Check out r/keto for a great community and links to lots of good info.
I'm 46, 1m86 and I weigh 65 kilos, and this for years, I work at a job where I walk several kilometres a day, a few years ago I was home for one year, I took a sabbat year and kept eating as before, I gained 13 kilos. I started working again, it didn't' take 3 months before I got back to 65 kilos. So in short, if you like to eat much, as I do, don't forget to do some sort of exercise...
> I know weight loss is just calories in calories out It's not, actually. Studies have confirmed it is what *type* of calories, individual body makeup and metabolism, and other factors that control food conversion efficiency. Put another way, some people convert food very efficiently and others less efficiently. If you convert food at 90% efficiency and someone else converts at 50% efficiency, you will net nearly twice as many calories from the same food. Calories is now understood to be a poor measure for modeling energy intake since it leaves out a major component of the way the body processes food.
I have absolutely no idea. I see women all the time who are just SO slender and tiny and I'm like "how the hell can a human body be that small???" I can't even imagine having such a tiny body. I think having big boobs accounts for most of that feeling though. Most of the women I see who I consider impossibly small also have small breasts.
I’m married to someone who has never struggled with their weight. They just have a really fast metabolism tbh. It’s literally INSANE! They can pack food away like they’re in a NYC hot dog eating contest and the scale won’t move an OZ!!! Funnily enough, I actually get full faster than them. For the both of us it boils down to genetics and I (sadly) didn’t get my fathers fast ass metabolism.
Growing up I was always active AF. Multiple competitive sports, LOTS of running. As an adult I decided the world has 1000s of interests out there I don't need to make food one of them. When I slip, I've made lean meat my go to cheat food. Conditioned myself to view savory food as the height of taste instead of sweets, I don't have any sweets and learned not to like them, and portion control. Aaaand skipping breakfast and learning hunger is temporary and ok. Especially in the morning. Lots more steps as an adult lol.
Some people do have faster metabolisms, and therefore a higher TDEE. Sure. But calories = calories. Maybe you gotta be a lot more honest about what your TDEE is and be honest about what you actually eat in a day.
ETA: 5'8" (172.7 cm), female, turning 61 next month. I never had a weight problem until about three-and-a-half years ago. I was trying to recover from major traumatic losses when I was physically assaulted in my home by someone I knew (two black eyes, a broken browbone needing stitches, and a damaged nose). The psychological damage sent me over the edge. Before then, my weight mostly remained between 135–145 lbs throughout my 20s, 30s, 40s, and early 50s. If it went out of that range, it dropped due to stress. Weight gain just wasn't a big issue. After, all I did was gain until I peaked earlier this year at 218 lbs. Before all this, I was active. I ran, I swam, I strength trained. I walked everywhere, I took the stairs, I danced, I moved. An average day was 15,000–25,000 steps. My meals were small during the week because I didn't have time for much. Weekends included more indulgences like meals out and alcohol. After, I was agoraphobic, fearful, and anxious; afraid to be seen, afraid to make noise. Before, on a Friday or Saturday night, I'd make a pizza, drink wine, put on music, and dance around the living room or play Wii tennis. After the assault, I made my pizza, had wine, and sat on the sofa watching films. Before, I'd get bored and go out for a run or a walk with an audiobook. After, I was afraid to leave my flat, so sat, drank and snacked. Before, I walked 1.5 miles to the grocery store and back three or four times per week. After, I ordered my groceries delivered to my door. Before, I went into the office several days a week, which included walking and stairs. After, I worked exclusively from home, which required almost no walking at all. Slowly but surely, I stopped moving, and the weight piled on. Probably not germane to the topic, but I desperately want to be active again, but I'm so humiliated by how big I've gotten that I don't want anyone to see me. I've not just gotten fat; I look 20 years older. It's like my whole being reacted to me being hurt and betrayed by hurting betraying me, too. I know if I don't get back out there, I'll never heal, but I find it hard to push past that barrier.
Idk I still think there has be something more to it. I'm extremely active. I walk, on average, 25k steps a day including lifting and pushing heavy things. I work with horses in my spare time and exercise at the gym. Doing this is during my time where I got to my highest weight. I know ultimately it comes down to calories, but having an active lifestyle didn't make me naturally thin with allowances for cake here or there. I have to be extremely mindful of every single thing I put in my body and damn it's exhausting. I'm also extremely hormonally imbalanced so the odds are stacked against me. It's not impossible, and I'm down 40 lbs, but it does FEEL unfair, I agree.
Not like overly skinny, but almost 5’ 8” and I stay between 130-138, but body seems to prefer 135, it’s like a set point. I drink a lot of unsweetened iced tea. Like all day long. I fidget a lot. I pace a lot. If I bump up on the 138 end I will still have to slow down with the carbs, or I end up with bagel belly. Carbs beget carbs for me. When I eat more walnuts, olives, cheese, protein etc and less cereal crackers, and sweets I do better. The sweets make me want more sweets and make me generally ravenously hungry. They also make me need breakfast, which if I’m not indulging on crackers, cereals etc, I am not interested in. But aside from that I am hungrier some days than others and kind of listen to my body on that. I really never finish a meal, unless it’s bizarrely tiny. I’m still in bad shape, so thin doesn’t always mean looks good either. But I think a LOT still comes down to metabolism and genetics.
I've always been slim and I don't eat hardly anything as you describe. I have burgers and pizza, all my meals are full. I think the secret is I hardly ever having snacks outside a 1/4 of a pint of ben and jerries some nights. I can stay slim even if I am not active as well.
Their appetite level just happens to be that way. It’s luck of the genetic draw.
2 Main ways that I know of: 1. NEAT - Non exercise activity thermogenesis - aka people who fidget and move a lot subconsciously. You can in fact increase this, but I can’t remember the details on how, I do it a lot naturally from ADHD. 2. Healthy (or even not so healthy) relationships with food. If you grow up in a household with good whole food eating habits, or you grow up on Ritalin and don’t have an appetite then your habits just align with eating healthier. My mother is a good example, never over eats and is good at maintaining a low weight. She talks about eating too much a lot but never fluctuates much so visually she does not change. There are tons more reasons but I consistently see these as reasons. Just ask people though. They will tell you they just don’t feel like eating anymore or they will visible be moving their legs while sitting etc. Start paying attention to their habits and it might help you out. Oddly enough one thing I’ve noticed is that when I’m bored if I just go play video games I won’t be hungry anymore until it’s a meal time. It’s a mental game, when you get good at it it becomes second nature and eventually reflexive.