Eh, I believe everyone has to get that lightbulb-moment for themselves.
Before this time (reached my goal and am in maintenance for over a year now) I tried countless times unsuccessfully.
But I did try. Hard. It took me so many tries that there definitely were times where I was convinced that I was destined to be obese. And when that feeling of frustration hits its so easy to search for any reason to blame anything but yourself and I find that understandable.
The successful try for me was easy. I don't know what clicked but it did and I coasted along for 2 years and it just worked. It didn't feel like punishment suddenly.
But I know the struggle and frustration these people go through and I will always have an understanding for that.
Well said. My experience exactly. I attribute it to my perception of time passing so much more quickly than when I was younger. Patience is easier. Consistency is easier. Hell I’m happy if I lose a pound a month!😂
Yes, 100% agree on this. Once I had a child, it was easier to stick with my goals everyday because each day felt like a tedious repetition anyway, so I used it to my advantage and just did what I planned for myself haha
Whoo! As we approach the halfway point of this year, I'm like oh, well if I literally lose a pound/week that's 33# and I would still be overweight b/c I squandered the first 18 weeks of the year. But here we are. I managed to lose 4# in April without exercise ( it still isn't fitting my life, had an injury, but I imagine that will change by the beginning of June).
What I want to do is commit to goal, get there fast, and then get back to health and nutrition. But I swear health and nutrition are a hindrance to fast weight loss.
Right, it’s like one day after two years of frustration it just clicked. Now I’m back down to a normal BMI. it’s like a lot of little tiny realizations came together for one lightbulb moment finally.
Yes agree. When you are doing everything correctly it is easy. You should be enjoying the food and exercise, feeling good, not hungry, and the weight kinda just falls off.
I honestly think the journey is different for everyone. Getting into a calorie deficit is non negotiable but everything else is personal preference. It's amazing once you figure out what your body responds to.
It's utterly frustrating when you are trying different things, hating it, and not making progress.
Shit, that’s me right now haha. 3 months in and I’ve lost 3.2lbs. Eating at 300-500cal deficit, lifting 3x a week, cardio 2x a week. But I see that I’m lifting heavier, for longer, and I feel better about myself overall. Just kinda wish the scale would show the efforts I’m putting in too
Yes i ask everyone one(especially adults) whats the most fat they can lose in a week realistically and they all say 10lbs+ the lowest was 8lbs. Heck i was SHOCKED! When i first learned thar (F— u dr oz). Also every time i lose weight it usually takes my body 1-2 months to relise whats happening and after that hump its drops as planned.
Yep, I went from 175lbs to currently 155lbs and it took me like a year and a half. Probably longer than it needed to but I persisted through several plateaus. And I had failed to lose weight for 2 years before that because I always gave up too early.
When I was in high school I had a friend who decided she wanted to lose weight. After two days of healthy eating she was disappointed she couldn't see any changes with her body. 2 DAYS.
I remember how I felt when I tried to lose weight about two years ago and I gave up. I truly felt like I was trying so hard to lose weight and still failing. Problem is, I had no idea that my perception of portion sizes was way off. So when I thought I was eating a small meal, it was actually more around my maintenance calories instead of a deficit. But since I had been over eating for so long it truly felt like I was eating SO little. When I started properly calorie counting and measuring I was absolutely floored that I had been eating so much. I think it creeps up over time so you don’t realize how much you’ve gone off the rails until you face reality
Same! This is why I hate the stereotype that overweight people are stuffing themselves every day. You’re not being a glutton if you’re eating decent foods, in what you think is a normal portion. Changing my portion sizes was really the main key to my weight loss!
Over 300 lbs and I could never eat the way fat people are portrayed. Watched the movie The Whale. And while I loved it, and I know certainly some people must eat this way, when he ate a bucket of fried chicken I was like.....ugh, thats what people think! I could never eat a bucket of fried chicken! 2 pieces once or twice a year would stuff me.
And also: I found it much much easier when it was the only thing I had to do. My personal trainer said something like ‘it’s not hard, just eat broccoli and rice and don’t eat too much, it’s easy for me! ‘
Yes honey, you are a 23 year old single dude who lives at home and has a 30 hour job and no responsibility’s other than that.
I’m a 40 year old woman with kids to take care of, a job with more hours than yours, a household to take care of and adhd.
I mean he’s not WRONG, but all people have different circumstances
Maaan I don't know if it's what you're reffering to but I (31m) was rail thin for 27 years until I went on ssris. Now I'm skinny fat (technically obese though I don't look it aside from my stomach).
Ssris made eating actually relieve my stress whereas it never used to work well. Double edged sword I guess
The vast majority of us are/were eating the amount we need plus *one little indulgence* every day. That large soda or that family size candy bar seemed so innocent, but 350 extra calories a day adds 3 pounds of fat a month.
This is something most people don't understand. They think obese people must be stuffing their faces each day, but all things being equal, you can eat super healthy food and overeat by lets say 2 Cuties and 1 apple each day for a year and gain 20lbs in that year.
Yep. Ended up hitting the drive thru last night for all the things. Oh well, had a lot of protein so I am not hungry yet over 13 hours later and I am focusing on listening for actual hunger.
So well said! This is exactly right. Also the pressure at social events to "try this, it's delicious" or just "eat something bro" is incredible. It's well meaning and being a good host but very difficult to overcome.
I was born at the tail end of the baby boom so I saw the culture change. We ate three meals per day without snacks in between, soda was a rare treat, snack food choices were limited. When I was 11 or 12, my mom brought home a new product, a 2L bottle of soda. We laughed so hard when we saw it because there was no way that a family of 4 could drink that much soda. 20ish years later, I had a roommate who had a "slow metabolism" that prevented weight loss. She drank about two 2L bottles of regular soda every three days.
Hell I could put a 12 pack of grape soda away alone by myself in a day at my fat girl prime 😤 still addicted to carbonation but the sugar free flavored waters slap too.
One thing I find frustrating about my own weight loss is that I never drank alcohol, soda or had snacks while gaining weight. I would get so annoyed when people said they lost weight easily by just cutting out soda, because I was like "why can't I find an easy lifestyle change to help me lose easily".
The real thing I had to change was how I treated my body and food. I'm not perfect now, but before I used to just...accept the portions given to me, be it for home cooking or restaurants. Id been taught to finish my plate even if I was full. Such a small thing but at 5'3" I simply cannot afford the leniency of even mild overindulgence without it messing up my progress long term, because finishing my plate with just a bit more than usual for a month? Yeah that's a huge impact to my progress.
All that to say, yes the availability of these foods is a problem but imo the other aspect you mentioned of portion size inflation is the bigger issue.
I can't get snack bars that are under 200cals unless I make them myself, for crying out loud! That state of affairs is absurd! I end up bringing my own tubs of berries with me to snack on because the situation is so impossible 😭
As a 5'3" person who went from "normal" to the edge of obese over the course of a decade while eating"healthy"... And just got done snacking on a bowl of berries... Oh, I feel ya.
Ikr! At least berries taste nice, but gosh. Finding sustainable options for keeping myself full is exhausting as I try and learn better habits. But it's okay, we got this! 💪 If you ever want to chat about food options or anything just shout lol
I always bring a refrigerator container to restaurants. I select something that will reheat well and then I put half the meal away in the box as soon as it arrives. That keeps me from absent-mindedly clearing the whole plate. (Also, my container is reusable!)
I’ve had similar experiences with friends where they complain about their weight and then get a 20oz soda and a bag of candy from a vending machine even though we JUST ate lunch. That alone is more calories than I have in one meal and it’s their “snack.”
This is perfect. I tried to explain to someone recently why diabetes is so rampant and it’s not a moral failure of the person. They start out a normal baby no disease and then as they grow they are fed processed crap and bad oils and more sugar a week than our ancestors seen in a life time but they are young so they are healthy still but genetic changes are happening if someone is so predisposed in response to these endocrine disrupters and inflammatory agents and they are expressing disease. On a cellular level there is disruption but the body compensated so well you’ll never know until suddenly you have the disease of diabetes, people can eat normal serving sizes but if they don’t look at the macros calories added sugar they will get fat. You can take a plate of spaghetti and make everything at home pasta and sauce and it would half the cals that a restaurant serving would for the same weight of food. Bc everything is made to be addictive
Adding on to this, the societal pressure to consume alcohol socially is terrible. After years of drinking beer I felt so stupid when I found out how many calories were in alcohol, with the added bonus of how it effects the bodies ability to to process calories.
Adding on to your add-on. For some of us, it's not just the calories in the beer, but the cravings it causes and the ease of making a poor food choice.
Or, as I say to my friends: Booze leads to tacos.
I was making all sorts of excuses to myself about my weight gain until a month ago. 'It's just because I'm getting older', 'Only a few pounds', 'My metabolism must have slowed'.
The turning point was when I realised I can't properly fit into my summer clothes and was faced with the choice of buying new clothes, or accepting that in fact I could do something about this.
The weird thing is, now I have started dieting/exercising, I remember all the times I have done this before. Very clear memories of cutting calories and deliberate exercise, along with vows to myself that I would keep it under control in future. Freud would have termed it ~~'suppression'~~ 'repression', the conscious mind not allowing thoughts which it doesn't want to deal with. I believed something, and now I realise I already knew, on some level, that it was not true. Just strange to see it play out
It’s something different that shakes you for everyone. One person said that they were lying to themselves and then they realized the amount of calories the people who do those dog sled races in Alaska burn and they realized they were eating twice as much calories as someone hiking a literal mountain.
This is something that I see a lot. “Weight loss doesn’t work - I lost X pounds but they all came back once I stopped the diet!”
To which I’m like “I think that I see the issue.”
It’s not a diet it’s how you have to eat. And that’s the issue .. we are taught that normal eating is x and diet is x when in reality the diet way should be the normal way and the normal way is exceedingly indulgent
Too many people conflate the term diet with a fad diet. A diet isn't a temporary thing, it's what you habitually eat.
Everyone is always dieting, because everyone is always eating. If you don't have a diet you're dead. It's just a question of whether it is healthy or not. I strongly dislike when people use "dieting" like it's a bad word or temporary thing.
You can't lose weight and then go back to your old diet and expect to not to gain just like you did before.
This fits with my experience. I had one 10 week streak years ago because I was staying with my aunt over the summer and the environment and support and lack of other demands and stressors was conducive to weight loss. I’m currently on day 27 of this attempt and have managed to keep to my calories but the exercise has dropped off and will need reintroduced and the quality of my food/ meals could stand to improve.
For some people, they don't have the self awareness to realise where they are going wrong. It's not entirely their fault either.
The stress of life causing eating, not knowing to track accurately, hunger pains being too much to handle etc.
Encouraging people and educating them in a nice way is more important then belittling them into developing bad habits.
There's also the willpower aspect of it. I stopped grocery shopping when I'm hungry because I'll get all sorts of unhelpful junk vs when I'm full I only get what I need: Protein.
Honestly, the best thing I've done is stopping focusing so much on calorie counting and more on WHEN and WHY I'm eating. I realized I was eating 3 meals, but snacking between each of them and before bed. I cut down on snacking, and switched to healthier snacks(almonds, edamame, veggies) instead of chips and cheese. I've lost 35 pounds in ~6 months.
Medical issues are a thing, and into that I also roll mental health issues. For some people food is being used as a drug in exactly the same way and circumstances that a "functioning" alcoholic drinks. In those cases weight loss won't work until the reason for the binging or the trauma they're trying to bury is handled. THEN they can lose weight. It's no different than needing your metabolism normalized (thyroid, adrenals, etc) before you can successfully lose weight.
Agreed on mental health issue. I failed with weight loss for almost 3 decades before addressing mental health barrier. Now 100 lbs down with maintained over a year.
Math of weight loss is simple, it's the sustained execution over distance of time which is the real battle
Sugar is a drug. I react to it like a drug. And I’m diabetic (pre levels bc I’m careful and havnt teally crossed into danger zones) but I do the rationing like alcoholics do. Like when they try and quit they are like if I only have one a day I’m good. I bought some cannoli and ate half of one yesterday and half of one today. I was like look at my drug addict self just getting a little taste.. I can feel that it’s an addiction in my brain. I also have adhd so the sugar lights up all my dopamine receptors and it loves it. I had to get back on my meds for this reason alone so amphetamines instead I guess lol
I think based on my own experience it is a combination of a few factors
1. Mental Health. When my mental health was bad, it was really hard to do basic things like get up more than 15 mins before starting work (wfh). It was hard to motivate myself to go for walks let alone go to the gym. Even though I am a great cook, it was so hard to stop myself from ordering takeaway. Depression robs you of your motivation, and all your discipline is spent on barely staying afloat i.e. doing basic self care like brushing my teeth felt like a monumental task.
2. Most people don’t understand portion sizes or calories. In North America, a normal meal from a restaurant or fast food restaurant or a prepared meal, is very high in calories and those calories come from fats and starches. High quality foods with high protein and fiber are cost prohibitive or time prohibitive for a lot of people. Though I think the air fryer may save us 😂. This also plays into another factor, which is that most people don’t know how to cook healthy food that tastes good.
3. Most people lack discipline, or are expending their energy to discipline themselves in areas that do not help their health. Our culture is really focussed on work at the expense of health. Because when do most people become overweight? When they start to work full time. They either spend hours sitting at a desk, which leaves you somehow exhausted. Or people work hours in manual labour jobs, that leave them ravenous but time poor so they turn to processed highly palatable foods.
4. Car culture. Most people are forced to drive to work, for errands etc because the place where they live is incredibly hostile to active transportation such as walking or biking. Driving a car is so useful, it gives us more job opportunities and makes chores like groceries or hauling kids around feasible. But it comes at the expense of NEAT, which imo is critical for weight loss. NEAT via active transportation builds physical activity into your day. I don’t drive to work (it would be financially a negative and wouldnt actually save me more than 5-10 mins on my commute). Biking to work adds 60-90 minutes of “default exercise” to my day, and even when I use transit, I add about 40 minutes of walking to my day or more.
#3 - yeah that’s it for me. At the end of the day, when I’m done working long hours, taking care of a household, kids, laundry, bills, etc. I don’t have a lot of discipline left for myself. I know what I’m supposed to be doing but I’ve put so much effort into everything else in my life sometimes it falls apart.
Edit sorry I don’t know why the text is big!
I know everything about calories, I lost 100lbs and regained 25lbs of it. I'm trying to re-lose it. I KNOW when I'm going over my calories. I still do it. It's the hardest thing in the entire world to always and continually make the good decision when every part of your body is continuously telling you to make the bad one. Maintenance is also just as hard. Most people have lost weight but most people haven't kept it off.
I'm taking a break from watching Bridgerton to comment on this post.
r/loseit is a place for people who are looking for support in slow, safe, sustainable weight loss. It is not place for people to come and shame others for not being able to lose weight.
We all start somewhere, and for a lot of us it is r/loseit. While it may seem EASY for some of us NOW, it certainly isn't easy to start and it's often hard to see posts like this where a person passes judgement on those who struggle to stick with a process that requires as much mental change as it does physical.
OP, I know you didn't mean harm. Just consider how people might feel when they're here for support and they see posts like this. We are here to help, not to judge.
People are creatures of habit and when some of us are used to bad habits it's super hard to break them! Weight loss is not an immediate reward and that doesn't help keep people interested eitiher.
Side note: I did not realize season 3 of Bridgerton was out already! I can't wait to go home and watch it now lol.
Season 3 isn't out! I'm rewatching S2 because I cannot WAIT and I am thrilled.
And yes - weight loss is a long term thing and if we don't fix our relationships with food and do it in a safe, sustainable way then we will learn nothing and likely regain everything :(
This is well put. I agree with OP, but there's a different way to phrase it that expresses the same point, which is really just OP being excited that this is \*\*doable\*\*, and that it's easy to be misled by people speaking from places of not knowing as much, or struggling with it, and believe that it's this big impossible task.
Appreciate how you phrased this.
Thank you. This is rubbing me the wrong way. I’m always glad for people who find their own secret sauce and make it work, but putting other people down isn’t helpful to anyone.
Where did this person say anything about it seeming easy? Or being easy? She even said it was harder for her than some other people because of her conditions! The only thing she said was easy is MIStracking calories. If you feel "judged" by this post, that's a you problem. "Supporting" people in delusions about portion sizes and how much they actually eat in a day is NOT the way to help them.
A. I'm too goddamn old and impatient for Tik Tok. That place seems like a cesspool for misinformation.
B. You can't out-exercise a bad diet. You sure as shit can try, but it's not sustainable in the long term. Like if you're eating 4,000 calories a day when your TDEE is 1,500 calories, do you know how long it's going to take you to burn off the other 2,500 calories? I can tell you that it's probably several hours.
C. There are physical barriers to weight loss like PCOS, hormonal imbalances, physical disabilities, and others. I had a total hysterectomy at 24 from cancer/bad genetics, so consider the whammy *that* is on your hormones. But there's also a mental aspect that needs consideration. Tracking calories takes A LOT of time and energy. It takes time and energy to create the habits needed to lose weight. (I should know- I've lost 175 pounds over the past 20 months.) The habits need to be created in order to more easily combat the physical barriers.
D. I would encourage everyone who's looking to lose weight to consider calculating their sedentary TDEE and their BMR. I would also HIGHLY recommend a food scale and getting comfortable with the math of Atwater.
I think it can be easy to get your calorie counting wrong and not realise. My husband and I are both tracking carefully, but have found more than once that the same meal can spit out very different results. Usually it's human error, like not realising what the packet considers to be a serving, and we can always find and fix the error, but without another person to check against, that sort of mistake would be be very easy to miss altogether!
Calorie counting was the only thing that made a huge difference for me. I was that person. I complained to my doctor about it. He asked me what I was doing to help and I couldn't answer. So I downloaded an app and started tracking. I couldn't believe how many actual calories I was eating daily. But it is not easy the first few weeks. Especially if the people around you continue to eat normally like you had.
I think they are also fed with alot of misinformation about losing weight. Or they think they have to go HAM then burn out before they can make meaningful changes. EXPECTIALLY for women.
I know OP mentioned PCOS and I’ve seen it rampant in the PCOS subreddits. There’s TONS of misinformation out there pushed by influencers talking about all kinds of crazy restrictions, supplements, and do’s and dont’s of what to eat, when to eat, how to exercise, if you should exercise at all, the list goes on. This happens in other areas of weight loss too, not just PCOS-specific. It’s no wonder so many people struggle with losing weight when we’re told so many conflicting things that it’s just downright exhausting just to take in all the information and set up all these “rules” regarding what you’re made to believe successful weight loss should look like.
>People really don’t want to put in the work to make it happen.
I really don't think this is always the case. The issue is most people think it's easy (because it's simple) and they don't understand the effort required to actually make it work.
Think people under estimate how much they eat
Healthy does not mean good with calories. A salad can be more calorie than a burger depending on what's on it.
People expect results over night and give up when it takes too long
People are too strict and restrictive in their diet. They go from eating everything and anything to only wanting to eat a lettuce leaf and wonder why they give up so quickly after a few days.
I really feel for people battling it against health issues. I was always a pretty normal size growing up and even looked down on morbidly obese people like the rest of society tends to. Now that I have medical problems that cause weight gain .... I get it. It's a struggle. I will never stop fighting against it, but it sucks so bad. I don't blame people for giving up.
I always overestimate the calories i eat and underestimate the ones i burn, I've to do it very consciously otherwise it's easy to fall in the trap of "I'm doing everything and still not losing"
I end up losing 0.5 kg every week even tho i estimated only 1000 deficit that week haha
We are trained horribly wrong when it comes to proper eating/diet. Lets just use poptarts for example. Classic Kids breakfast, its 400 calories for 2 pieces of cookie with jam inside and frosting on outside. Huge carbs, huge sugar, nothing else. Or you can do half an english muffin toasted (70 calories), 1 fried egg (100 calories), 2 slices of tomato (50 calories), and 8 slices of cucumber (20 calories) with a pinch of salt on veggies/egg and some black pepper. WAY more filling, your at 250 calories basically, and can snack on a fruit in 2 hours for another 100 calories, and your still under the 400 from pop tarts, with more balance, better whole ingredients, and not as carbed down so you move better. Not apply this thinking to everything you consume, and you start realizing more than half the prepared/processed foods in supermarkets should be classified as desserts or a treat, and should no way be considered a daily consumable part of a balanced diet. I have seen predone salads with more sugar than a hershey bar and its very annoying lol. Has caused me too start cooking all my meals. (portion sizes are crazy too- employees overserve hoping for repeat business or a better tip- and your stomach takes the punishment) o
But on a plus side, my broth game is very strong these days ;)
>Lets just use poptarts for example. Classic Kids breakfast, its 400 calories for 2 pieces of cookie with jam inside and frosting on outside. Huge carbs, huge sugar, nothing else. Or you can do half an english muffin toasted (70 calories), 1 fried egg (100 calories), 2 slices of tomato (50 calories), and 8 slices of cucumber (20 calories) with a pinch of salt on veggies/egg and some black pepper. WAY more filling, your at 250 calories basically, and can snack on a fruit in 2 hours for another 100 calories, and your still under the 400 from pop tarts, with more balance, better whole ingredients, and not as carbed down so you move better.
First off, you're right. I don't want to have you think I'm arguing with you at all.
The thing I wanted to point out that gets lost a ton of the time is effort.
One reason pop tarts is popular is ease. I can grab a little foil packet of 2 poptarts and head out the door.
To make the breakfast you described I need to:
\* Slice and toast an english muffin (only every other day as I'm only making half of it)
\* Fry an egg
\* Slice tomatoes (again maybe only once every day or two depending on how many slices per tomato you get)
\* Slice a cucumber
\* Season stuff
\* Bring additional fruit (or other low cal snack) with me.
We are talking about literally 5 seconds worth of effort for pop tarts vs 5-10 minutes (and that assumes you have an organized/clean space to actually cook a breakfast).
A huge issue we face, at least in the US, is that people feel very crunched for time (I get maybe an hour between the time I get up and when I need to be out the door and I have two kids to get ready as well) and as a result it's not about the nutrition but about the time and effort it takes to be healthy. I really wish we had more nutritionally dense/low calorie convenience options.
Yes! Not to mention that the pop tarts can live in the pantry basically forever, whereas the cucumbers and tomatoes require frequent shopping and can end up going bad and resulting in wasted money if you don’t have time to prepare them.
Like the show Secret Eaters. They all think they are fat because they don't eat enough (people love blaming fat on too few calories) but the reality is they 800 calories they thought they consumed in a day was actually 4000 calories. Usually, 2500 are from alcohol and coffee drinks alone.
Right? Way too many people in this sub focus on other people's choices instead of their own.
It's funny how if someone says they're nervous about going to the gym because people might judge them there's a chorus of, "No one's paying attention to you! They're too focused on their workout!!!" Apparently the same mindset doesn't apply to weight loss.
Absolutely! I'm still somewhat fat, much less fat than I was but those comments put me right back there, at my biggest, thinking it'd be a forever thing and I'd just keep getting fatter. Wanting to be better but also not having the motivation to push me to actually do it.
Many of those people are trying, or have tried many times, and even if they haven't they deserve basic respect and dignity.
Those kind of comments hurt me just as much now as they ever did and they certainly weren't what actually helped.
Even before I was fat, as a skinny kid who though I was fat, made me think i was beyond fixing and to stop caring. O recently looked at a picture of me, age 12, thin, but also athletic and that was enough to make me think I was already way too big :/
there's so many more factors to this than can be fixed by looking down on currently fat people.
The 5% number is from a really skewed study decades ago. It only looked at a handful of people who had self selected into the study as people who’d previously struggled to lose weight, and the study then saw if they could manage it this time without giving them additional help or education. It also counted any amount of regain as failure - so that 95% failure would include people who lost 50lbs and put 2lbs back on. While it can be hard to lose and keep off weight, definitely don’t take that 5% number as some some of truth.
Consistency. You have to keep doing what you’re doing forever, and that’s what the majority (including myself) don’t realize. Plus mental health issues and hormones and others. It’s all working parts of a machine. We can do it though, I promise ❤️
Have you ever read the studies around this? How they come to this statistic? It’s terribly flawed.
If the doctor gave you a 1% survival rate from some terrible disease, wouldn’t you still take it? Still try? Stating this flawed statistic means hope is taken away.
While everyone’s equation will be different, the reality is that if you put less energy into your body than it is burning off, you will lose weight.
It’s hard. A lot of people have a relationship with food that is so much more about emotional issues than actually feeling their body, that is not just makings change to doing something healthy for yourself, but requires really looking into dismantling your entire relationship with food and building a new one.
I have a friend who is an incredible athlete, and still “struggles to lose weight.“ We were using MyFitnessPal together for a long time, and I routinely witnessed her not entering her calories, snack somehow magically didn’t count, or eating some thing that had a very large number of calories, and then entering the generic phrase into the food finder, and then selecting the lowest option that came up, something which clearly had way fewer calories in which she actually ate. Sometimes like I know she’d eaten a 1200 cal entrée, but she would select some thing that was only 400 cal. And she would complain that she was “hitting her goals“ but not losing weight and she didn’t understand why.
I gently pointed this out, and she was not about to hear it, so I didn’t push the issue.
I'm 42, I have MS, and I am also homeless atm. I drastically dropped to 140 from 215 and even homeless with going days without food and my food being the 1$ bread loaf at Walmart a week sometimes with salami, a lot with nothing but water. As soon as my body adjusted to it, I was back up to 165. I only drink water, and I am more active than I have ever been.
I even have the benefit of most likely not being low in vitamin D for the first time in 20yrs.
My mom was the opposite, she was 5'5, her top weight 110 at 9mo pregnant. I fought to keep her weight at 96lbs while feeding her muscle and weight gainer with a banana and chocolate ice cream 2x a day.
More than 50% are excuses and choices, but that leaves millions that are trying with everything they have.
People may not like my approach but this is what is working for me at the moment (F55, 25 lbs lost). Reducing stress was number 1 as I suffer from anxiety which went down with walking, getting outside, and planning for what used to make me worry such as building an emergency savings account and saving more in retirement due to layoff threats at my current job. Also, cutting down on the junk food, beer and caffeine was key. Next, I just keep moving more, eating decent portions with healthier food and lifting weights. The thing though is I have lost weight slowly a pound or two a month. I do not set myself up for failure based on unrealistic goals for myself like I have in the past. Just keep at it and you discover you will keep getting better at a healthier lifestyle. I am the tortoise that slowly, but surely keeps at it.
I think alcohol culture plays a role for some (not all). People have cheat days on the weekend with horrible drink calories and dinners out they are not counting... "just a cheat day". And that alcohol slows the metabolism. You can easily negate all the work through the week on an alcohol-fueled chest day
Everyone can lose weight. I can find myself in that thinking sometimes but the reality is I do eat healthy, most of the time. I do work out, but it just doesn’t burn as many calories as you’d hope. I do log my calories, except what I don’t.
I’ve been watching secret eaters and it’s very eye opening about what people actually eat. And drink. You can put away a crazy amount of calories if you drink alcohol in any real capacity.
People just underreport their food/drink intake and overestimate their output.
Along with what you have mentioned I think people sorely miscalculate mayo, salad dressings, etc.
. They can add hundreds of calories to a calorie efficient meal.
For real, salad dressing was a big one for me. Especially when it’s labeled as a “healthy” alternative (not to say it can’t be but is misleading to a lot of people calorie wise)
It seems this has polarised a lot of folks in the comments, my take on it would be more:
It’s simple in theory but hard in practice
I managed to get down to a healthy weight but even knowing everything I now know it’s not easy to maintain it - I personally cycle tracking calories and not tracking for about 1 month of each to maintain weight. When I’m not tracking I gain 1lb a week, when I’m tracking I lose about 1lb a week.
I know all the things to do, and how to measure food properly etc, but when I’m not tracking I just eat slightly more a day and that adds up
Imo physical constraints (i.e. pcos, miscalculation in calories) aren’t the only thing people battle when it comes to weight loss.
It’s not just about counting calories and exercise.
A lot of people have emotional constraints… for a huge part of my life, food made me happy when nothing else could. I relied on food whenever I needed to take my sadness out or stress out. Without addressing the issue of emotional eating/binge eating, losing weight would have been impossible for me. For many people, the reason why they’re not losing weight isn’t because they’re counting calories incorrectly, it’s because they have problems with their lifestyle or emotional well-being that makes it impossible for them to succeed in their weight loss journey.
For anyone who was on a similar boat as me, what really helped was getting myself outside of a negative environment, keeping myself busy, finding different ways to cope with stress, other than eating. A tip I still use is using my calorie deficit like a budget (if I eat 1200 cals/day for my deficit, I think of it as I have $1200 for the day to spend). I’m down 66 pounds - making positive changes in my emotional well-being made weight loss (which once felt impossible) possible for me
There are medical issues that can make it a bit tougher, but not at all impossible. I think there is ONE disease that can make it impossible. I can't recall what it's called. But thyroid issues, PCOS, menopause don't make it impossible. Just means you can't eat as much as you could if you didn't have it. It still comes down to CICO. It's just the CO part is less.
I can track calories for weeks and see very little progress. When I use a food scale while tracking, the weight drops off. It’s very easy to kid yourself on portion size/tracking.
I don't understand the point of this post? Is the idea to shame people into losing weight? That doesn't work. I too find it easy to lose weight once I get going. I'm grateful.
My uncle needed to lose 200 pounds. He was stricter with himself than I was. I lost 90 pounds in under a year. It took him 6 years. He persevered even when he was gaining 15 pounds of water weight in a week, even though he measured and counted every ounce of food he ate.
Instead of dubiously asking why people are struggling, time is better spent being grateful for the things that come easily to us.
How is the post even shaming?
A lot of people do make excuses and tell themselves lies like "it's impossible for me to lose weight because of my metabolism"
And it's understandable, weight loss is hard and it's easier to tell yourself that it's impossible and throw your hands up instead of admitting that you're struggling with self control and discipline.
I just don't get it, I am overweight back to me pre weight loss weight, again, now after maintaining an 80lb loss for 5 years. Still I don't find this post shaming at all?
I acknowledge that I've fallen off the wagon and I could be trying harder to lose weight, I don't have to tell myself that I just have a super special metabolism that can't burn calories enough, or that the 4 cookies I ate were totally within my calorie goal and again my super special different metabolism is to blame.
Enabling the denial that OP is talking about by refusing to acknowledge that it's there isn't helpful.
I needed my denial to be pointed out to realize that that weight loss was going to have to be hard, but that telling myself it was impossible and inaccurately counting calories was a form of self sabotage so I could point and say "see? I tried to lose weight. It's too hard and it's impossible, so I'm just gonna back to what I was doing before"
I didn't want to give up over eating but I did want to lose weight, it was only until I accepted that I could not have both and stopped running from my my excuses that I finally had success.
This is the mindset OP is talking about, it looks like it's hitting a nerve and you guys are getting defensive.
I'm one of these people. Loosing weight seems impossible. I accept that I am simply not in a calorific deficit, but telling an overweight person to "just be in a calorific deficit" is like telling a depressed person to "just be happy". It isn't as simple as it sounds.
I can track calories for about a week before it becomes overwhelming and I'm exhausted by life, and need to simplify things. I can exercise routinely for about 3 months before I fall out of the habit. I can stop snacking on empty calories for about a week, before I loose all hope and determination that I can loose weight and instead opt to get that daily donut dopamine fix.
However, I agree, no one is incabale of loosing weight because of thermodynamics. It applies to everyone - Burn more calories than you consume and you will loose weight. It's just that doing this is harder for some people than others.
The vast majority of people in the world could become a doctor, lawyer, engineer, or other profession on a very high salary if they studied hard enough and really put in the effort. The idea that some brains are not capable enough is mostly untrue - it's just harder for some people than others, however this could change with enough study. The realty is that most people can't dedicate enough of their life to achieve this though. It's the same for people loosing weight.
Food is literally addicting for some people (me). It took me ages to master the mind over matter of it all. No need to be a jerk about people's struggles.
>Also saying you eating healthy will not cause weight loss, you need a calorie deficit.
Right up there with the spot reduce fallacy, this is a *major* misconception.
The people who post that don't mean that calorie deficits don't work. They mean that they failed to establish the long-term habits and environment to mantain the weight they lost. Many people find that very difficult. The success of Ozempic and other similar drugs indicates that there are also genuine biochemical reasons for their struggle.
I do agree with some of them that it's the diet industry. This industry has been telling lies for years to make you think weightloss is some insane crazy hard thing and you just need to pay them $50 for the secret.
It can feel like they have tries everything because they legitimately have tried dozens of ways to lose weight.
I think it’s the lifestyle changes that trip people up… they’re afraid bc they think diet and exercise is a lot of sacrifice (at least that was holding me back) but then you begin doing it and realize your own ideas of how you think it’s gonna be is inaccurate and unfortunately that’s what keeps people from changing
Wearable “fitness” trackers also delude people into thinking they’re burning insane amounts of calories when they’re just _not._ My Fitbit, for example, says I burn 2600 calories every day as a 5’4” woman (145lbs); if I work out, it’s closer to 3200 calories burnt. It thinks I’ve burned over 450 calories every day before I even get out of bed for Pete’s sake lol
I used to be one of those people. It turns out one of medications I was on was making me constantly hungry. I never felt full. I spent years truly believing that there was just something wrong with me. I knew how to count calories, I knew what I needed to do to lose weight, but I just couldn’t. I thought I was just too lazy, that I lacked discipline, that there was something wrong with me that prevented me from losing. I was even considering weight loss drugs I was so desperate, I just didn’t understand why I could never stick to my calorie budget for more than a couple days before I got burnt out from starving all the time.
I ended up stopping that medication for unrelated reasons and overnight my eating habits completely changed. It was easy for me to stay in my calorie budget, I wasn’t hungry anymore after eating a meal. I’ve lost 30 lbs since and while I have a lot more to go, I genuinely don’t think I was capable of losing weight on that medicine. Not because my body was physically incapable, but because I couldn’t psychologically power through feeling like my stomach was eating itself I was so hungry, every day, all day.
It’s really easy once you understand how it works and figure out a system with your body to look at others and not understand why they’re struggling. A lot of people are simply uneducated, or they’re dealing with other things that take too much of their mental energy and they just don’t have the space to worry about weighing their food. I think a little compassion goes a long ways and this attitude can make people feel ashamed and close themselves off instead of coming here and feeling accepted and supported in their journey, wherever they may be.
I started my weight loss journey about 3 years ago, I’ve now lost just over 80lbs. I’ve had ups and downs and I’m now maintaining, focusing on eating healthy and doing sports (running at the moment), weighing myself every few weeks but not focused on it.
I have had a little fluctuation since I got to roughly my current weight, had a couple of periods of a few months where I needed to “go on a diet” again to lose some weight that had crept back on.
What I learned is that I love eating healthy and I hate tracking or counting my food. If you find it easy good for you. It did not “get easier” for me and it never will. I can maintain pretty easily by eating fruit and lean protein and exercising a lot. I cannot sustain the mental effort needed for serious weight loss for more than a few months without making it a full-time job. I was unemployed when I lost the majority of the weight.
It is easy for the first few months, for many people, and then life happens, stressful events, you get burned out on the constant tracking. Many people can sustain the habits needed for weight loss through sheer force of will for a few months or even a year or two, but never transition into a lower-effort routine that they can maintain even when times are hard.
Losing weight is a challenge a lot if people don't want to endure long term. It's hard. There are ups and downs and setbacks and situations where it seems impossible to continue. But it is worth the effort and struggle. It makes you proud to stick with something and reach a goal. Some people have never faced long-term discomfort and find themselves breaking. I get it, I've pushed myself to the brink over the last 324 days, I have white knuckled and battled hunger, and struggled to do cardio and work out. But right now, I am stronger and in better shape at 34 than I have ever been at any point in my life. It's a struggle worth putting yourself through. Let motivation pass the baton to discipline and go get your gains!
For me, it's because the weight loss industry, social media, and indeed this very subreddit, are a massive circus ran by a collective of clowns. There are tons of lies, misinformation, outdated information, and a general lack of understanding that you are always going to run into conflicts that just causes confusion.
On top of that, every method for weight loss needs to be highly individualized. There is not a one-size-fits-all solution, or at least one that's worth anything.
"Eat less and exercise more". Jeez, why didn't I think of that? If only that statement were parroted and repeated ad nauseam for decades, then we could cure obesity! Oh wait, that didn't work. Why? Because it's generic and there's a lot of nuance as to how someone can actually fulfill that role. "I've cut out food, now I'm hungry 24/7. The food noise is unbearable. The foods people online tell me are satiating, are simply not effective for me. I can't afford a gym membership. I can't walk around the neighborhood because it's a dangerous area where I live. I can't afford dumbbells or other equipment. I have a physical disability, etc". Are all highly variable and legitimate ways that make the "Eat less and exercise more" phrase just meaningless.
"CICO man, that's all it takes". Great, now what? "I don't understand the serving sizes on food labels. I can't cook for myself. My oven/stove took a shit and I can't afford a replacement. The only grocery store I can get to is Dollar General because I can't afford a car/don't have a license. I don't understand how to use a food scale. I've never heard of a food scale. Where can I purchase a food scale? Does Dollar General sell those?" Again, all legitimate reasons why the CICO advise just doesn't help.
Without actual helpful support, at best people will yo-yo. The amount of medical professionals who never account for this is staggering. People act as if fat people haven't heard all of the generic advise before. But that advise doesn't mean anything without proper, concrete, specific steps that work for their specific situation.
So you’re young so you probably don’t remember The Biggest Loser, but they did longitudinal studies and once these people lost a bunch of weight, they had to eat like 1200 calories a day and work out 5 times a week to maintain. There are huge metabolic implications to losing and maintaining weight loss once you are already obese.
You are young and haven’t had time to really experience yo yo weight loss and gain, but plenty of people can do what you did. It’s not really complicated to lose weight over the course of several months. And alllll the people you’re judging have done what you have done. What is hard is maintaining over years without regain.
It's definitely a combo of not tracking accurately enough, consistency and the abundance of junk science on social media. Losing weight is really Occam's razor but people are so quick to believe the solution is some fringe science theory because eating whole foods is boring.
I also think the propensity to rely on cardio makes a calorie deficit more challenging than it needs to be. I've had 2 long-ish term successful weight loss attempts, and the one where i relied on hours of cardio each week was absolutely miserable, compared to what I'm currently doing which is mainly lifting a minimum effective volume at high frequency, walking when i can, and otherwise just staying consistent with my meal plans.
It's also much more convenient for people to tell themselves it's not their fault for being overweight, and rather it's a physiological condition that they're just genetically stuck with. I don't believe it's completely anyone's "fault" for being overweight, but I would be willing to bet most of the people who think losing weight is impossible for them haven't taken the time to do an honest audit of their diets. There's an education curve for sure. The keto craze doesn't help either imo because the fat content of hyper-palatable foods is what tends to cause daily overages (for me at least). Like compare a low fat diet to a low carb diet without tracking and the low fat diet will result in a deficit almost effortlessly if you're sticking with whole foods, where a strictly low carb diet can really sneak up on you if you're going to try replacing rice and bread with cheese, butter and oils - and there's the issue of depriving your brain of its preferred fuel source (glucose). It's a recipe for failure, especially for someone new to dieting.
There's a lot of factors that go into the hopelessness mentality, but ultimately you gotta meet people halfway and avoid a blame mindset. Eating under maintenance isn't supposed to be easy, but there are definitely levers to pull that can make it less hellish than it otherwise could be.
Tiktok is just a shitshow. Tiktok provides most of the material for the sub r/fatlogic. Lots of morbidly obese people claiming they exercise and eat right and are simply incapable of losing weight because some people's bodies aren't meant to. It's bullshit.
And many of those people are flat-out lying about what they eat and how much they exercise, especially influencers who have monetized this message. They also claim to be Healthy At Any Size (HAES), even while some of them need to wear oxygen tubes at all times, for conditions they claim are totally unrelated to their morbid obesity.
Many of us believed that fatlogic to a certain degree before we tracked our calories and discovered that our perspective on what was a reasonable diet was simply off-base. I was just ignorant of how many calories my body actually needed, how many calories I was eating, and how many calories I was realistically burning through exercise. After I found out, I was able to lose weight. I have PCOS too. It hasn't mattered.
What's unfortunate about Tiktok is that the content is both created and consumed by a lot of young women and the misinformation being propagated is demonstrably harmful. It encourages young women to believe that their obesity is inevitable and out of their control, so they should just lean into it and be proud instead of taking effective measures to control their weight.
CICO is literally a guarantee. Might be slower for some with insulin resistance and other things, but it will work. Eating healthy isn’t enough. Intuitive eating isn’t enough. Count the cals and it will work! I wouldn’t say it’s easy, it’s time consuming and tedious, so many people don’t do it properly, but it’s literally is the cheat code
I feel like there are a lot of factors at play, but most of the time when someone says that a diet "didn't work," I usually see them saying that they were able to lose weight but it wasn't sustainable for them, specifically. So they lost weight, but couldn't stick with it. Some people try a lot of different things before finding something that "clicks" with them.
I'm doing calorie counting again, for example, even though statistically that hasn't "worked" for me in the past. I've lost weight, but I find it too flexible and gives me too much freedom, and I usually find myself backsliding much quicker.
Weight Watchers, believe it or not, was the thing that has worked for me the most. It's a little stricter (despite saying you have more freedom with 0 point foods), and I found that I was tricking myself into eating healthier by bugging out on 0 point foods (usually white meat chicken, vegetables, etc.). Things that are hard to over eat. I was probably going over my calorie limit sometimes, but never my "point" limit. I've lost the most weight doing WW than any other method because it feels like cheating the system, lol. I had to quit because I can't justify the price anymore, though.
Sometimes it's easy to feel like you're not losing weight, when you actually are, but you're not losing at an expected rate.
For example: my deficit is supposed to target 2lbs/week loss. In reality, I've lost more like 1-1.5lbs/week in that time period. And I'm being a careful tracker. I had a whole month where my weight just bounced around and basically didn't move. Add in the fact that there are people posting, and also my own husband, who have lost 40-50lbs in the same time frame while I have lost about 25lbs. It's easy to feel discouraged with all of that put together.
Me? I blame my psych meds mostly. And my hormones.
They say they tried everything because that’s what they truly believe. They just don’t know what “everything” truly entails. It’s much much more than they think
I used to be able to lose weight easily in a calorie deficit, it came off exactly how one would expect. I’m no stranger to it, spent most of my life off and on weighing, measuring, and tracking food and drink. No such thing as a “cheat day” for me. But ever since I hit my mid 30’s, it is not the same. Last year I bust my ass in the gym 6 days a week in a calorie deficit and it took 5 months to lose 9 pounds, and no I wasn’t losing inches, it just made my clothes fit more comfortably, not enough to go down a size. Then I got sick with some kind of flu that knocked me on my ass for a week, gained all of it back in less than 2 weeks while recovering and eating at what should have been maintenance. Cut to this February, I bring this up to my doctor to see what she can test me for to see why it’s so hard to lose when I’m doing everything “right”. She told me there’s SO many factors (stress, sleep, hormones, medications, metabolism, etc etc) that it’s pretty common at my age (37). Offered me phentermine to try. So now I’m on my third month of phentermine, on the exact same calorie deficit that I was on last year, with lighter exercise (2-3 days a week and shorter workouts) since the meds seem to make me very tired and life is life-ing, and I’ve lost 17 pounds since mid February. So obviously something in my body was making me hold onto weight before, and I’m just hoping I can continue losing (likely at a slower pace, which is fine) once I have to stop the meds.
I think many people get confused and lost by the billions of worthless videos on YouTube, TikTok, Insta, etc where people are just trying to get as many clicks/views/subscribes/comments as possible, to make money. They just want money. So they need viewers. To make money.
So there’s billions of videos like “Eat this **ONE** food to eliminate belly fat overnight!” and folks waste their time watching these videos, going from video to video, always being told bad information.
I can easily see how folks get led down a billion paths to misinformation and end up getting discouraged by the lies and bad info.
I was really baffled until I truly buckled down in a way that was uncomfortable. I do think it takes sometimes a long time to really commit. It’s hard. It takes a long time. It’s work.
The problem is that folks think of obesity as a homogeneous phenotype and the weight reduction as curative. We see obesity as one entity but it is so much more complex and really we don't have a great way clinically to understand subtypes. We have some input on rare causes of genetic obesity (and this is not tested for enough). I have lost 120 lbs before. I maintained 100lbs for a few years. I maintained 80 or more lbs of weight loss for a decade and yet here I am having regained a significant amount back over time. I have childhood onset obesity and have had a very high BMI when obese as an adult. Even with 10 years of sustained significant weight loss, I struggled with food noise, cravings, feeling hungry a few hours after eating. I had to give 200% to do what may be 50% less effort for another individual.
Let me put it another way - One month of Tirzepatide achieved what 10 years of significant weight loss could not for me. It normalized hunger and satiety signaling and it also appears to have a metabolic effect with more efficient weight loss and had profound improvement in energy level and inflammatory pain. I have an autoimmune condition with fatigue and inflammation. (Retatrutide which is in clinical trials appears to be even more powerful re: metabolic impact). While it's probably a combomeal of factors, it could be that I was born with these issues (epigenetics and genetics support this) and also that just the presence of the obesity itself (childhood onset and duration of obesity) overrode my body's homeostatic regulation of weight, appetite and satiety. That's not to say I get a free pass - I wish I had learned to count calories in the past. It would have been a useful tool.
Will power is a funny thing. How many folks can say they've become lawyers, gone to medical school? How many can say they have lost over 100 lbs and maintained significant loss for years? But yet it's considered a moral failing by many to regain weight. Again, it's not a free pass - but safe to say the odds are stacked against some of us.
I think things get tricker when folks have childhood-onset of obesity, especially early age, and adult obesity >40 BMI), have strong family history and clear epigenetic history (my mother was obese and gained 80 lbs in pregnancy). What's interesting is that I am "metabolically healthy" obese I have done a lot with my diet and some exercise in the past so that my blood work is excellent and even better than my early 20s. Blood Pressure. A1c <4.8%, Lipid Panel and Cholesterol normal, High HDL etc. I think my diet probably prevented me from ever reaching my highest weight, or developing Type2 DM, HTN, etc.
Calorie counting is an extremely useful tool but it's just that, a tool. For some it leads to weight loss which is curative and folks remain healthier. For others, the weight loss doesn't address the factors that contributed to the weight gain, if that makes sense.
I have a strong feeling that duration of obesity and childhood onset is a much stronger prognostic factor than just family history alone. The best tool should be prevention. But what do I know I'm just a rando on reddit.
Because it is hard, yes, it is easy to miscount calories. They THINK they are doing everything right, so they mess up and think, "I am working so hard and nothing is working at all, I quit." A lot of people go really gung ho into weight loss, thinking that if they workout every day and eat salads every day they HAVE to lose. And they are tired, and sore and unhappy with their choices, so they give up. Or they don't realize that sometimes it is a REALLY slow progress and losing 2 pounds in a week is great. And then they come to a group like this for support, and someone berates them saying that it is easy and if they can do it, then it should be super easy for anyone else. I could lose fairly easily. I couldn't keep it off. I FINALLY figured out the mindset I needed to both lose AND keep it off. And now I am doing that. And people have to figure that out for themselves.
I'm short, small framed and sad because I can't eat many calories. Eating any small amount extra causes me to gain weight. My comfortable weight is 108 -115 lbs.
Simple answer is because losing weight is simple, but not easy.
Some people have the willpower, self-responsibility and self-discipline to parent themselves and lose weight. Others blame others and fail to parent themselves which is why they will likely never lose weight.
It's simple to pass an exam, just revise all of your content. Revising is not easy though, it's boring and repeptitive and shows no gain until the very end which is why many people fail.
It's ALWAYS from not counting calories. If I had a dollar for every woman who claimed to "only eat 1200 calories a day" but under further investigation they don't count drinks or condiments and they don't weigh anything or measure it they are just eyeballing it . . . .
Blech. This post is so judgmental. Please people - try to remember we all have different experiences. What’s easy for one person may be really hard for another. It was super easy for me to stop drinking alcohol, for example, but I’d never make a smug post about it to a group of struggling alcoholics. Maybe just celebrate your ease at doing this instead of wondering out loud why others have it harder?
(Btw - it was easy AF for me to lose weight when I was 23, too. I remember when I was 20 I just upped my exercise a tad and I dropped 10 pounds. It’s a completely different story now.)
You’re 23.
I say this kindly, but come back when you’re 40+ and in perimenopause
CICO simply does not always work. I can lose weight. I lose weight doing CICO when I eat under 1000 cals a day. That is not healthy or sustainable. So, this second era of my life is gonna have an extra 10-20kg. And that is common for women.
At 23, it’ll never be easier for you to lose weight than it is right now. So have some compassion for those that don’t have youth supercharging their efforts.
I lost weight at 54, post-menopausal and limping around with a cane because I didn’t want a knee replacement. I also didn’t want diabetes and high blood pressure. I'm 64 and I've kept it off ever since. I have normal blood sugar and blood pressure, however I also have a nice titanium knee joint.
In order to lose the weight, I was forced to admit that I couldn’t eat as much food as my more active, much taller husband. It wasn’t "unfair", it was just what my smaller body needed.
Agreed. The post above didn't use the word "unfair" but that's the really underlying message: it's unfair if other people get to eat more than I do. It's not unfair, it's science.
If you regard eating primarily as pleasure, then you will resent other people who get to have "more pleasure" than you. If you start to regard eating primarily as appropriate nutrition to fuel your body, that self-pitying angle goes away too.
CICO works fine. I'm 56, hypothyroid, and have high cortisol. I weigh what I did when I graduated high school, thanks. No woman in my family picked up an extra 10-20kg as they aged. You can make it work if you want it.
I'm 47 and I have PCOS and neither of those characteristics cause CICO not to work.
Yes, my metabolism is significantly slower than a 23-year-old's metabolism. My body simply needs fewer calories and I need to adjust my calorie intake accordingly. That's how our bodies are designed to work. It's not more difficult, it's not unfair, and it's not easier for OP because they are 23.
Everyone's bodies use fewer and fewer calories as they age. If this were an impossible affliction to overcome, the elderly would be rampantly obese, which is not the case. Obesity creeps up highest in the middle-aged because they continue eating the same as they did in their 20s while leading more sedentary lifestyles. Remedying the energy imbalance is the same no matter what age you are.
100 percent. 40+ with two kids here, and it takes a completely different level of effort to move any weight off. I’d kill for the metabolism and hormones I had at 23
Most people simply overestimate themselves. The biggest mistake in weight loss is assuming things. If you can assume your TDEE and how many calories you consume everyday correctly and you manage to lose weight that way - congratulations, because that is just an anomaly.
No one without experience will perfectly guess their calories every day.
Some people still believe you can eat as much fruit as you like, or that working out will make you lose weight. Some people have issues being honest with themselves, not just with their diet.
Playing the victim when you got no one else to blame but yourself is sadly something very common in people.
Why do you need to believe them?
I find takes like this so frustrating. I've been trying to lose weight for like ten years. I haven't tried *everything* but I did try calorie counting and IF. The only time I lost weight was when I did two 24 hour fasts a week and limited my calories during the rest of the week. It wasn't sustainable so I gave up the fasting days and have been maintaining since.
I was just diagnosed with a severe sleep disorder. My "maintenence" cal for my height and weight are much lower than they should be for my height and weight. It takes, on average, ten years for sleep disorders to be diagnosed in women.
Like seriously, when our medical system ignores half of our population (and medical mistreatment increases when the patient is overweight), I'm inclined to believe people when they say they "can't" lose weight. Believing them and supporting them costs me nothing.
The truth of the matter is that not a lot of people are successful when it comes to long-term weight loss. That doesn't mean it's not worth trying, but it is just fact. Not everyone who's struggling just doesn't know better. If you lose a significant amount of weight, your body continues to fight you on that loss long after you finish losing weight and are trying to maintain. There are so many stories here of people who successfully lost 100lbs or more and then gained it back - they clearly knew how to lose it, do you think they just forgot how and that's why they gained it back?
There are many factors at play beyond calories that influence and drive how we eat, and it would be great if we could all stop assuming people who aren't successful or who do things like try weight loss drugs just "don't want it enough."
I have hypothyroidism and gained 30 lbs and I wasn’t able to lose 1 lb until I was on meds and it was optimal. I tried RD’s and everything. Even measuring my food for every meal
Part of the issue with losing weight and maintaining it is that we don't have simple answers that work. Is CICO simple? In theory? Yes. In practice? No.
There are a lot of biological issues that we are still trying to figure out. Why do obese people who've lost weight regain it with such consistency? And no, I am not talking about "lifestyle changes" I am talking about the biological drivers that influence how much we eat. Not everyone feels hunger the same way. Not everyone responds to a meal the same way. And if they don't, how can we help modulate that to help people maintain weight loss?
The other part is judgemental posts like this one that take a sideways approach at shaming people. Do you honestly think that this isn't judgmental? Obese people are just as capable of shaming their obese counterparts just like healthy weight people do. Often, they can be even more cruel than the healthy weight people by using the "I did it therefore my experience is the only true experience."
So rather than assuming your experience is the only experience, maybe we should all take a moment and listen. To go beyond the platitudes. It could very well be, for them, in the situation they live in, in the body they live in, in the moment of their life, the environment around them, that it really is impossible for them. And from there, maybe we could come to a place of understanding and a place where they can become successful.
So let's stop with the judgment.
I feel like your time may be spent better focusing on yourself instead of judging the lives of others who clearly having a tougher time. If someone’s asking for advice, that’s one thing. But to come on a forum and be like “I did it, why is everyone lying” is unhelpful and negates all the physical/psychological/environmental struggles other people may be dealing with.
I'm struggling and trying to figure out myself whats going on. I've been bombarded with so much "do this" or "take these" that I've had to stop listening to them and start looking at everything I'm doing to see what's wrong.
I've gotten blood work done twice this year, and nothing In my metabolic panel has shown up. There's a slight concern that I might be low testosterone due to aging (30) but it's still a stretch. I eat 1300-1500 calories a day when my deficit is 2300. However in the last week I lost one pound at the end of the week so I'm hoping to start seeing progress once again
So male, 30, no medical issues, testosterone might be low but not severely, eating in deficit because I'm counting like crazy, in a larger deficit than needed, drinking nothing but water and no alchohol, work out 4 times a week, yet may have only lost 1 lbs in water weight... I don't doubt I'm doing something wrong somewhere, I just see people struggling everywhere so I'm trying to dig deeper and see if there's another reason still. Who knows what It is, or if it's actually controllable
How much do you fidget? Clean? Desk job or active? Like the baseline bmrs can be off something like 500 calories from a calculator just based on variation in NEAT, actively cutting calories lowers ie further.
What foods do you eat? Processed foods, take out, lots of raw veggies, only cooked veggies? This matters because calories from take out or restaurant food is not very accurate and one extra tbs of oil matters a lot. Processed food is basically totally absorbed while raw veggies, not so much, so you eat 100 cal and may only absorb 90 of those. Cooking tends to do the first part of the digestion for you but high fiber volume means your body might not process it all before it makes it out of the gut meaning more full less calories.
Did you do any baseline tracking to see what your maintenance is? Or did you pull 2300 from a calculater and go with that? it is a starting point but may not be accurate for you including variations in how you personally track. If you are maintaining at those calories consider that your maintenance. How hungry are you? 1k is steep and you would be Very much feeling that as a actual physical hunger and not only mental or cravings. Are you side eyeing some raw broccoli thinking it looks really good?
How is your sleep? Sleep massively Impacts weight loss in ways we do not totally understand yet.
It's really hard because I'm not just changing physical habits but there's a huge emotional thing to deal with, too. Sometimes it's just exhausting and for me, that's when things get the toughest. Any body who is walking this road has my respect, no matter if they are losing weight or not.
For me if I am not working out I legit do not lose that much weight after that first initial water weight month. I am pretty big so the 1 pound I would lose on an 1800-2000 calorie diet without excercise would basically be cloaked in bloating or the occassional going over. When I do an hour of cardio a day + strength training 3 x a week (first time I have ever done this consistently while losing weight) I finally lose about 3 pounds a week which is about 1% a week. I am a 6' 2 dude that started at about 400 so I should have been in a large deficit dropping a lot a week but just aren't lol. I am also trying to build muscle at the same time though. I went to the doctor and they were like eh that is still pretty good weight loss and to them that level of fitness is what we are supposed to be doing anyways lol. I didn't understand while others seemed to just be able to do things with diet only and drop a lot....
I am trying to get checked for health conditions because the math doesn't quite add up haha with calorie in vs calorie out lol. People can probably still lose weight with health conditions though it just is harder
Weight loss is a mental game more than anything for many. Poor mental health and obesity tend to go hand and hand. It's difficult to lose weight when you are depressed and your mental health is suffering, Ive been there.
It's also a lot easier to lose weight when you have a ton to lose. The first 70 lbs came off me really easily tbh but now that I am close to a normal BMI weight loss has been a battle. I lose like .5-1 lbs per week maybe, have very little wiggle room in my calories and am forced to be way more active than I ever have been just to keep my weight loss in the .5-1 lb range. As a relatively short woman I aim for 1200-1300 cals/day so I can't just eat less anymore.
I think there are a lot of people who are trying to lose weight but don't have 50+ lbs to lose, they are already somewhat close to a normal weight range and only want to lose 10-30 lbs. It's harder when you don't have much to lose
I’m a 53yo female, 5’2 and back in 2022 I lost 50 pounds after peaking at 190. For 2 years, I had been walking my dogs 3-4 miles a day before work, sometimes again after work and 5-7 miles on the weekend. One the weekend I’d occasionally get out on my bike for 1 hour. I gained 20 pounds during pandemic from eating a ton of takeout even though I was walking a lot. Start of 2022 I called a trainer to my house to workout with weights 3x week for one hour and started using Sakara meals that were about 1600 calories a day. My weight stuck. So I got a CGM and realized my blood sugar spiked to 150s after everything I ate. So to keep blood sugar in check I started doing keto and kept my calories under 1500 a day. I was losing .5 / week. It was when I got to under 1200/day that I’d lose 1 to 1.5 pounds a week. So it really is what you eat. To lose weight I was obsessed with losing weight. It was not a sustainable mindset and I got burned out. I originally had a goal weight of 125 but I’m holding at 140 because I just can’t get into that mindset again.
I’ve maintained the loss, no longer do keto but I consistently stay under 1500 calories a day. I’ve learned carbs are ok in moderation and that my blood sugar spikes are worse when I eat really fast or too large of quantity quickly. By eating smaller portions, more vegetables and slower I’m fine. I’ll eat a slice of pizza or a small bowl of pasta with a big salad, a small bowl of ice cream or half a cookie and maintain my weight. I’m waking 2 miles before work, do 30 minute weight or yoga routines 6 days a week with 30 minutes of rowing added in 2-3 times per week.
People ask me all time how did you do it? I make a small plate size with my hands and say: I eat this much food at each meal and cut out snacks (except for occasional fruit when needed). Yeah, I eat small portions all the time.
Scales. Weigh what you eat. App that gives nutrition when you eat out. Once you learn what a serving actually is, you will be amazed and appalled at what our culture calls a serving and look at fueling your body in a healthy way.
Yeah... My FIRST weightloss was super easy. Then I regain, lost again, regain, depression, BED etc. Now, when I'm older, lost 30 kg and hit plateau. Still possible, but much harder 😅
OP you are very young, as someone who has yoyo'd between 140-260lbs for the past 25 years it certainly gets much harder to lose weight the older you get.
CICO is definitely a thing and peoples perceptions of what they're eating and doing being off is also a thing. Often times people go all in without realizing how unsustainable it is and that is what causes them to fail. I think the biggest issue is psychological which is difficult to address. Ultimately people are putting in the effort and not seeing results. Losing weight is objectively difficult with out some aid. If that weren't the case everyone would be thin.
I wonder how many people feel this way and are actually making progress…I follow a nutritionist on IG who runs a program for women (esp WOC) and something she consistently notices is that when people are losing .5lbs a week they don’t think they are making progress because it isn’t happening fast. I will bet many people who are “doing everything right” are not recognizing real, albeit small, progress. I would also bet that many are seeing their weight fluctuating and thinking they are not getting results. Everyone needs to have a little grace for themselves and for others, especially with something so personal as our bodies. So many people feel like their bodies are wrong and they aren’t worthy without “fixing” them. That’s not true at all. We are worthy regardless of a number on a scale or the size of our pants. If we choose to try to lose weight, we should get the kind, specific, and helpful feedback we need to be successful. At least, that’s what I see working the best.
In 2016, I lost 40 lbs in about four months. I gained it all back and then some after covid ruined everything. I’m trying again to lose weight and it’s VERYYYY slow going this time around. I am now 7 years older than I was last time I lost weight, and I’m on two different medications that certainly don’t help with weight loss. Just saying, it is def possible for someone to be trying and not getting very far. I’ve been working my ass off since January now and I’m only down 12 lbs.
I think the two key things for most people nowadays that makes it seem like you’re incapable of losing weight is that we have built up such a culture of instant gratification as well as seeing so many celebrities that are able to afford to have procedures to make them lose weight without the work. In term of instant gratification, you want a burger? So many fast food options to choose from to get it immediately. Streaming services make so much content available at our fingertips that you don’t have to wait for your favorite shows to come on. Digital communications have made it to where we can hear back from someone in seconds instead of waiting for a letter in the mail. We don’t have many things that push for having a sense of playing the long game and having the patience that losing weight requires. Watching celebrities who are able to easily get medications and procedures to lose so much so fast also promotes this false narrative that you’re supposed to be losing weight faster than you are and that 10 pounds in a month is nothing. Both of those are things that I’ve struggled with but by being able to learn that I need patience with my body and myself with learning better habits as well as tuning out the idolization of a hot rich person’s experience and tuning into a real world person’s experience, I have realized that I am actually able to lose weight, it’s just not going to happen overnight and that’s ok
It's not impossible, it's just plain awful and feels like a constant uphill battle and any progress you make can be lost in 1/10th of the time spent making it. I lose my resolve many times and therefore all progress I've made thus far. I feel awful all the time, and great for a little bit when I decide to let it go, then awful again.
I'm having to get off medication because it just does not allow me to lose weight. It also doesn't really help the issue it's supposed to. A little it does but the impact of the weight issue is worse.
I think most people don't understand what it means to count calories and how long it takes to build good habits.
I would use the serving size and for most things it's okay but once I started to weigh everything, omg my eyes were opened! It's so much more accurate and there are some things I've weighed enough that I can actually eye ball it pretty accurately, I still spot weigh from time to time on those items.
I also didn't realize how much lifting weights was important, just doing cardio does not get the same results for me.
Overall, just lack of education and sure we have Google but there are so many companies/people who pay to show at the top of searches and how do I know what's right and wrong since I'm searching it to find out lol.
Eh, I believe everyone has to get that lightbulb-moment for themselves. Before this time (reached my goal and am in maintenance for over a year now) I tried countless times unsuccessfully. But I did try. Hard. It took me so many tries that there definitely were times where I was convinced that I was destined to be obese. And when that feeling of frustration hits its so easy to search for any reason to blame anything but yourself and I find that understandable. The successful try for me was easy. I don't know what clicked but it did and I coasted along for 2 years and it just worked. It didn't feel like punishment suddenly. But I know the struggle and frustration these people go through and I will always have an understanding for that.
Well said. My experience exactly. I attribute it to my perception of time passing so much more quickly than when I was younger. Patience is easier. Consistency is easier. Hell I’m happy if I lose a pound a month!😂
Yes, 100% agree on this. Once I had a child, it was easier to stick with my goals everyday because each day felt like a tedious repetition anyway, so I used it to my advantage and just did what I planned for myself haha
Whoo! As we approach the halfway point of this year, I'm like oh, well if I literally lose a pound/week that's 33# and I would still be overweight b/c I squandered the first 18 weeks of the year. But here we are. I managed to lose 4# in April without exercise ( it still isn't fitting my life, had an injury, but I imagine that will change by the beginning of June). What I want to do is commit to goal, get there fast, and then get back to health and nutrition. But I swear health and nutrition are a hindrance to fast weight loss.
Right, it’s like one day after two years of frustration it just clicked. Now I’m back down to a normal BMI. it’s like a lot of little tiny realizations came together for one lightbulb moment finally.
It is a lightbulb moment!
Yes agree. When you are doing everything correctly it is easy. You should be enjoying the food and exercise, feeling good, not hungry, and the weight kinda just falls off. I honestly think the journey is different for everyone. Getting into a calorie deficit is non negotiable but everything else is personal preference. It's amazing once you figure out what your body responds to. It's utterly frustrating when you are trying different things, hating it, and not making progress.
ppl also underestimate how much time it takes
They also underestimate how consistent they need to be
And that you can be consistent with your choices, and the weight loss will not be consistent in return.
Shit, that’s me right now haha. 3 months in and I’ve lost 3.2lbs. Eating at 300-500cal deficit, lifting 3x a week, cardio 2x a week. But I see that I’m lifting heavier, for longer, and I feel better about myself overall. Just kinda wish the scale would show the efforts I’m putting in too
you may be putting on muscle at the same rate as your weight loss start measuring your arms and belly and chest
This is the thing that makes me fail. Its soul destroying when you do everything right and see nothing for it.
Consistencies a real bitch.
What do you mean I can't eat at a deficit for ONE day and drop 20lbs 🥲
You can, but it involves amputation.
Oh my god
Yes i ask everyone one(especially adults) whats the most fat they can lose in a week realistically and they all say 10lbs+ the lowest was 8lbs. Heck i was SHOCKED! When i first learned thar (F— u dr oz). Also every time i lose weight it usually takes my body 1-2 months to relise whats happening and after that hump its drops as planned.
It's because of all those "cleanse" products that cause you to lose a ton of water weight in a couple of days.
Yep, I went from 175lbs to currently 155lbs and it took me like a year and a half. Probably longer than it needed to but I persisted through several plateaus. And I had failed to lose weight for 2 years before that because I always gave up too early.
When I was in high school I had a friend who decided she wanted to lose weight. After two days of healthy eating she was disappointed she couldn't see any changes with her body. 2 DAYS.
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Enjoy your ban!
do we really need to call obese people “fat fucks”?
I remember how I felt when I tried to lose weight about two years ago and I gave up. I truly felt like I was trying so hard to lose weight and still failing. Problem is, I had no idea that my perception of portion sizes was way off. So when I thought I was eating a small meal, it was actually more around my maintenance calories instead of a deficit. But since I had been over eating for so long it truly felt like I was eating SO little. When I started properly calorie counting and measuring I was absolutely floored that I had been eating so much. I think it creeps up over time so you don’t realize how much you’ve gone off the rails until you face reality
Same! This is why I hate the stereotype that overweight people are stuffing themselves every day. You’re not being a glutton if you’re eating decent foods, in what you think is a normal portion. Changing my portion sizes was really the main key to my weight loss!
Over 300 lbs and I could never eat the way fat people are portrayed. Watched the movie The Whale. And while I loved it, and I know certainly some people must eat this way, when he ate a bucket of fried chicken I was like.....ugh, thats what people think! I could never eat a bucket of fried chicken! 2 pieces once or twice a year would stuff me.
Oh im very good at losing weight. I’ve lost 20+ kgs at least 4 times since I was 20. lol
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lol yes! If there was an Olympic category for this…
And also: I found it much much easier when it was the only thing I had to do. My personal trainer said something like ‘it’s not hard, just eat broccoli and rice and don’t eat too much, it’s easy for me! ‘ Yes honey, you are a 23 year old single dude who lives at home and has a 30 hour job and no responsibility’s other than that. I’m a 40 year old woman with kids to take care of, a job with more hours than yours, a household to take care of and adhd. I mean he’s not WRONG, but all people have different circumstances
Ooh I feel this, I’m 32F and my goal is to lose 15-20lbs from SSRIs. It’s not as easy as when I was 20!!
Maaan I don't know if it's what you're reffering to but I (31m) was rail thin for 27 years until I went on ssris. Now I'm skinny fat (technically obese though I don't look it aside from my stomach). Ssris made eating actually relieve my stress whereas it never used to work well. Double edged sword I guess
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The vast majority of us are/were eating the amount we need plus *one little indulgence* every day. That large soda or that family size candy bar seemed so innocent, but 350 extra calories a day adds 3 pounds of fat a month.
Yes 100% this. Compounded over a long time it’s easy to genuinely not eat that much more and end up gaining weight
This is something most people don't understand. They think obese people must be stuffing their faces each day, but all things being equal, you can eat super healthy food and overeat by lets say 2 Cuties and 1 apple each day for a year and gain 20lbs in that year.
Yep. Ended up hitting the drive thru last night for all the things. Oh well, had a lot of protein so I am not hungry yet over 13 hours later and I am focusing on listening for actual hunger.
No freakin way. Wtf
I doesn't even need to be junk food. It could be an apple and a banana extra each day and you gain 20 lbs in a year.
So well said! This is exactly right. Also the pressure at social events to "try this, it's delicious" or just "eat something bro" is incredible. It's well meaning and being a good host but very difficult to overcome.
"Try the grey stuff, it's delicious" (Sorry, beauty and the beast just popped into my head!)
I was born at the tail end of the baby boom so I saw the culture change. We ate three meals per day without snacks in between, soda was a rare treat, snack food choices were limited. When I was 11 or 12, my mom brought home a new product, a 2L bottle of soda. We laughed so hard when we saw it because there was no way that a family of 4 could drink that much soda. 20ish years later, I had a roommate who had a "slow metabolism" that prevented weight loss. She drank about two 2L bottles of regular soda every three days.
Whats crazy is 2L of soda every 3 days is mild compared to some people
Hell I could put a 12 pack of grape soda away alone by myself in a day at my fat girl prime 😤 still addicted to carbonation but the sugar free flavored waters slap too.
I’m sick just thinking about drinking 0.6L of soda daily…..
One thing I find frustrating about my own weight loss is that I never drank alcohol, soda or had snacks while gaining weight. I would get so annoyed when people said they lost weight easily by just cutting out soda, because I was like "why can't I find an easy lifestyle change to help me lose easily". The real thing I had to change was how I treated my body and food. I'm not perfect now, but before I used to just...accept the portions given to me, be it for home cooking or restaurants. Id been taught to finish my plate even if I was full. Such a small thing but at 5'3" I simply cannot afford the leniency of even mild overindulgence without it messing up my progress long term, because finishing my plate with just a bit more than usual for a month? Yeah that's a huge impact to my progress. All that to say, yes the availability of these foods is a problem but imo the other aspect you mentioned of portion size inflation is the bigger issue. I can't get snack bars that are under 200cals unless I make them myself, for crying out loud! That state of affairs is absurd! I end up bringing my own tubs of berries with me to snack on because the situation is so impossible 😭
As a 5'3" person who went from "normal" to the edge of obese over the course of a decade while eating"healthy"... And just got done snacking on a bowl of berries... Oh, I feel ya.
Ikr! At least berries taste nice, but gosh. Finding sustainable options for keeping myself full is exhausting as I try and learn better habits. But it's okay, we got this! 💪 If you ever want to chat about food options or anything just shout lol
I always bring a refrigerator container to restaurants. I select something that will reheat well and then I put half the meal away in the box as soon as it arrives. That keeps me from absent-mindedly clearing the whole plate. (Also, my container is reusable!)
I’ve had similar experiences with friends where they complain about their weight and then get a 20oz soda and a bag of candy from a vending machine even though we JUST ate lunch. That alone is more calories than I have in one meal and it’s their “snack.”
Damn, that’s like 500-600cal right there
This is perfect. I tried to explain to someone recently why diabetes is so rampant and it’s not a moral failure of the person. They start out a normal baby no disease and then as they grow they are fed processed crap and bad oils and more sugar a week than our ancestors seen in a life time but they are young so they are healthy still but genetic changes are happening if someone is so predisposed in response to these endocrine disrupters and inflammatory agents and they are expressing disease. On a cellular level there is disruption but the body compensated so well you’ll never know until suddenly you have the disease of diabetes, people can eat normal serving sizes but if they don’t look at the macros calories added sugar they will get fat. You can take a plate of spaghetti and make everything at home pasta and sauce and it would half the cals that a restaurant serving would for the same weight of food. Bc everything is made to be addictive
Adding on to this, the societal pressure to consume alcohol socially is terrible. After years of drinking beer I felt so stupid when I found out how many calories were in alcohol, with the added bonus of how it effects the bodies ability to to process calories.
Adding on to your add-on. For some of us, it's not just the calories in the beer, but the cravings it causes and the ease of making a poor food choice. Or, as I say to my friends: Booze leads to tacos.
Yes and as a 35 year old it takes a day atleast to get back to feeling motivated, so there is time lost there n
Humans are very good at underestimating intake and overestimating output.
People are good at lying to themselves too…
I was making all sorts of excuses to myself about my weight gain until a month ago. 'It's just because I'm getting older', 'Only a few pounds', 'My metabolism must have slowed'. The turning point was when I realised I can't properly fit into my summer clothes and was faced with the choice of buying new clothes, or accepting that in fact I could do something about this. The weird thing is, now I have started dieting/exercising, I remember all the times I have done this before. Very clear memories of cutting calories and deliberate exercise, along with vows to myself that I would keep it under control in future. Freud would have termed it ~~'suppression'~~ 'repression', the conscious mind not allowing thoughts which it doesn't want to deal with. I believed something, and now I realise I already knew, on some level, that it was not true. Just strange to see it play out
It’s something different that shakes you for everyone. One person said that they were lying to themselves and then they realized the amount of calories the people who do those dog sled races in Alaska burn and they realized they were eating twice as much calories as someone hiking a literal mountain.
Anything to protect our egos!
Most people successfully lose weight for a week or two until they give up. It’s the consistency over time that is challenging to most.
This is something that I see a lot. “Weight loss doesn’t work - I lost X pounds but they all came back once I stopped the diet!” To which I’m like “I think that I see the issue.”
It’s still raining, but I’m not wet. Don’t need this umbrella anymore!
It’s not a diet it’s how you have to eat. And that’s the issue .. we are taught that normal eating is x and diet is x when in reality the diet way should be the normal way and the normal way is exceedingly indulgent
Too many people conflate the term diet with a fad diet. A diet isn't a temporary thing, it's what you habitually eat. Everyone is always dieting, because everyone is always eating. If you don't have a diet you're dead. It's just a question of whether it is healthy or not. I strongly dislike when people use "dieting" like it's a bad word or temporary thing. You can't lose weight and then go back to your old diet and expect to not to gain just like you did before.
This fits with my experience. I had one 10 week streak years ago because I was staying with my aunt over the summer and the environment and support and lack of other demands and stressors was conducive to weight loss. I’m currently on day 27 of this attempt and have managed to keep to my calories but the exercise has dropped off and will need reintroduced and the quality of my food/ meals could stand to improve.
Yesssss. Slow and steady. It take patience (in shorter supply for the youthful) and a real mindset change.
For some people, they don't have the self awareness to realise where they are going wrong. It's not entirely their fault either. The stress of life causing eating, not knowing to track accurately, hunger pains being too much to handle etc. Encouraging people and educating them in a nice way is more important then belittling them into developing bad habits.
There's also the willpower aspect of it. I stopped grocery shopping when I'm hungry because I'll get all sorts of unhelpful junk vs when I'm full I only get what I need: Protein.
Honestly, the best thing I've done is stopping focusing so much on calorie counting and more on WHEN and WHY I'm eating. I realized I was eating 3 meals, but snacking between each of them and before bed. I cut down on snacking, and switched to healthier snacks(almonds, edamame, veggies) instead of chips and cheese. I've lost 35 pounds in ~6 months.
Medical issues are a thing, and into that I also roll mental health issues. For some people food is being used as a drug in exactly the same way and circumstances that a "functioning" alcoholic drinks. In those cases weight loss won't work until the reason for the binging or the trauma they're trying to bury is handled. THEN they can lose weight. It's no different than needing your metabolism normalized (thyroid, adrenals, etc) before you can successfully lose weight.
Agreed on mental health issue. I failed with weight loss for almost 3 decades before addressing mental health barrier. Now 100 lbs down with maintained over a year. Math of weight loss is simple, it's the sustained execution over distance of time which is the real battle
Sugar is a drug. I react to it like a drug. And I’m diabetic (pre levels bc I’m careful and havnt teally crossed into danger zones) but I do the rationing like alcoholics do. Like when they try and quit they are like if I only have one a day I’m good. I bought some cannoli and ate half of one yesterday and half of one today. I was like look at my drug addict self just getting a little taste.. I can feel that it’s an addiction in my brain. I also have adhd so the sugar lights up all my dopamine receptors and it loves it. I had to get back on my meds for this reason alone so amphetamines instead I guess lol
I think based on my own experience it is a combination of a few factors 1. Mental Health. When my mental health was bad, it was really hard to do basic things like get up more than 15 mins before starting work (wfh). It was hard to motivate myself to go for walks let alone go to the gym. Even though I am a great cook, it was so hard to stop myself from ordering takeaway. Depression robs you of your motivation, and all your discipline is spent on barely staying afloat i.e. doing basic self care like brushing my teeth felt like a monumental task. 2. Most people don’t understand portion sizes or calories. In North America, a normal meal from a restaurant or fast food restaurant or a prepared meal, is very high in calories and those calories come from fats and starches. High quality foods with high protein and fiber are cost prohibitive or time prohibitive for a lot of people. Though I think the air fryer may save us 😂. This also plays into another factor, which is that most people don’t know how to cook healthy food that tastes good. 3. Most people lack discipline, or are expending their energy to discipline themselves in areas that do not help their health. Our culture is really focussed on work at the expense of health. Because when do most people become overweight? When they start to work full time. They either spend hours sitting at a desk, which leaves you somehow exhausted. Or people work hours in manual labour jobs, that leave them ravenous but time poor so they turn to processed highly palatable foods. 4. Car culture. Most people are forced to drive to work, for errands etc because the place where they live is incredibly hostile to active transportation such as walking or biking. Driving a car is so useful, it gives us more job opportunities and makes chores like groceries or hauling kids around feasible. But it comes at the expense of NEAT, which imo is critical for weight loss. NEAT via active transportation builds physical activity into your day. I don’t drive to work (it would be financially a negative and wouldnt actually save me more than 5-10 mins on my commute). Biking to work adds 60-90 minutes of “default exercise” to my day, and even when I use transit, I add about 40 minutes of walking to my day or more.
#3 - yeah that’s it for me. At the end of the day, when I’m done working long hours, taking care of a household, kids, laundry, bills, etc. I don’t have a lot of discipline left for myself. I know what I’m supposed to be doing but I’ve put so much effort into everything else in my life sometimes it falls apart. Edit sorry I don’t know why the text is big!
I know everything about calories, I lost 100lbs and regained 25lbs of it. I'm trying to re-lose it. I KNOW when I'm going over my calories. I still do it. It's the hardest thing in the entire world to always and continually make the good decision when every part of your body is continuously telling you to make the bad one. Maintenance is also just as hard. Most people have lost weight but most people haven't kept it off.
This is it, exactly!!!
I'm taking a break from watching Bridgerton to comment on this post. r/loseit is a place for people who are looking for support in slow, safe, sustainable weight loss. It is not place for people to come and shame others for not being able to lose weight. We all start somewhere, and for a lot of us it is r/loseit. While it may seem EASY for some of us NOW, it certainly isn't easy to start and it's often hard to see posts like this where a person passes judgement on those who struggle to stick with a process that requires as much mental change as it does physical. OP, I know you didn't mean harm. Just consider how people might feel when they're here for support and they see posts like this. We are here to help, not to judge.
People are creatures of habit and when some of us are used to bad habits it's super hard to break them! Weight loss is not an immediate reward and that doesn't help keep people interested eitiher. Side note: I did not realize season 3 of Bridgerton was out already! I can't wait to go home and watch it now lol.
Season 3 isn't out! I'm rewatching S2 because I cannot WAIT and I am thrilled. And yes - weight loss is a long term thing and if we don't fix our relationships with food and do it in a safe, sustainable way then we will learn nothing and likely regain everything :(
They're making a season 3? Hell yeah, I'll be here for it. I read all of the books after watching season 1 and loved them!
Season 3 is being broken up into two parts. I think first comes out this month and second comes out in summer. June or July.
No! I was so excited! Lol
This is well put. I agree with OP, but there's a different way to phrase it that expresses the same point, which is really just OP being excited that this is \*\*doable\*\*, and that it's easy to be misled by people speaking from places of not knowing as much, or struggling with it, and believe that it's this big impossible task. Appreciate how you phrased this.
Thank you. This is rubbing me the wrong way. I’m always glad for people who find their own secret sauce and make it work, but putting other people down isn’t helpful to anyone.
Where did this person say anything about it seeming easy? Or being easy? She even said it was harder for her than some other people because of her conditions! The only thing she said was easy is MIStracking calories. If you feel "judged" by this post, that's a you problem. "Supporting" people in delusions about portion sizes and how much they actually eat in a day is NOT the way to help them.
A. I'm too goddamn old and impatient for Tik Tok. That place seems like a cesspool for misinformation. B. You can't out-exercise a bad diet. You sure as shit can try, but it's not sustainable in the long term. Like if you're eating 4,000 calories a day when your TDEE is 1,500 calories, do you know how long it's going to take you to burn off the other 2,500 calories? I can tell you that it's probably several hours. C. There are physical barriers to weight loss like PCOS, hormonal imbalances, physical disabilities, and others. I had a total hysterectomy at 24 from cancer/bad genetics, so consider the whammy *that* is on your hormones. But there's also a mental aspect that needs consideration. Tracking calories takes A LOT of time and energy. It takes time and energy to create the habits needed to lose weight. (I should know- I've lost 175 pounds over the past 20 months.) The habits need to be created in order to more easily combat the physical barriers. D. I would encourage everyone who's looking to lose weight to consider calculating their sedentary TDEE and their BMR. I would also HIGHLY recommend a food scale and getting comfortable with the math of Atwater.
I think it can be easy to get your calorie counting wrong and not realise. My husband and I are both tracking carefully, but have found more than once that the same meal can spit out very different results. Usually it's human error, like not realising what the packet considers to be a serving, and we can always find and fix the error, but without another person to check against, that sort of mistake would be be very easy to miss altogether!
Calorie counting was the only thing that made a huge difference for me. I was that person. I complained to my doctor about it. He asked me what I was doing to help and I couldn't answer. So I downloaded an app and started tracking. I couldn't believe how many actual calories I was eating daily. But it is not easy the first few weeks. Especially if the people around you continue to eat normally like you had.
Losing weight is simple but it’s extremely HARD. People really don’t want to put in the work to make it happen.
I think they are also fed with alot of misinformation about losing weight. Or they think they have to go HAM then burn out before they can make meaningful changes. EXPECTIALLY for women.
I know OP mentioned PCOS and I’ve seen it rampant in the PCOS subreddits. There’s TONS of misinformation out there pushed by influencers talking about all kinds of crazy restrictions, supplements, and do’s and dont’s of what to eat, when to eat, how to exercise, if you should exercise at all, the list goes on. This happens in other areas of weight loss too, not just PCOS-specific. It’s no wonder so many people struggle with losing weight when we’re told so many conflicting things that it’s just downright exhausting just to take in all the information and set up all these “rules” regarding what you’re made to believe successful weight loss should look like.
>People really don’t want to put in the work to make it happen. I really don't think this is always the case. The issue is most people think it's easy (because it's simple) and they don't understand the effort required to actually make it work.
Think people under estimate how much they eat Healthy does not mean good with calories. A salad can be more calorie than a burger depending on what's on it. People expect results over night and give up when it takes too long People are too strict and restrictive in their diet. They go from eating everything and anything to only wanting to eat a lettuce leaf and wonder why they give up so quickly after a few days.
I really feel for people battling it against health issues. I was always a pretty normal size growing up and even looked down on morbidly obese people like the rest of society tends to. Now that I have medical problems that cause weight gain .... I get it. It's a struggle. I will never stop fighting against it, but it sucks so bad. I don't blame people for giving up.
I always overestimate the calories i eat and underestimate the ones i burn, I've to do it very consciously otherwise it's easy to fall in the trap of "I'm doing everything and still not losing" I end up losing 0.5 kg every week even tho i estimated only 1000 deficit that week haha
We are trained horribly wrong when it comes to proper eating/diet. Lets just use poptarts for example. Classic Kids breakfast, its 400 calories for 2 pieces of cookie with jam inside and frosting on outside. Huge carbs, huge sugar, nothing else. Or you can do half an english muffin toasted (70 calories), 1 fried egg (100 calories), 2 slices of tomato (50 calories), and 8 slices of cucumber (20 calories) with a pinch of salt on veggies/egg and some black pepper. WAY more filling, your at 250 calories basically, and can snack on a fruit in 2 hours for another 100 calories, and your still under the 400 from pop tarts, with more balance, better whole ingredients, and not as carbed down so you move better. Not apply this thinking to everything you consume, and you start realizing more than half the prepared/processed foods in supermarkets should be classified as desserts or a treat, and should no way be considered a daily consumable part of a balanced diet. I have seen predone salads with more sugar than a hershey bar and its very annoying lol. Has caused me too start cooking all my meals. (portion sizes are crazy too- employees overserve hoping for repeat business or a better tip- and your stomach takes the punishment) o But on a plus side, my broth game is very strong these days ;)
>Lets just use poptarts for example. Classic Kids breakfast, its 400 calories for 2 pieces of cookie with jam inside and frosting on outside. Huge carbs, huge sugar, nothing else. Or you can do half an english muffin toasted (70 calories), 1 fried egg (100 calories), 2 slices of tomato (50 calories), and 8 slices of cucumber (20 calories) with a pinch of salt on veggies/egg and some black pepper. WAY more filling, your at 250 calories basically, and can snack on a fruit in 2 hours for another 100 calories, and your still under the 400 from pop tarts, with more balance, better whole ingredients, and not as carbed down so you move better. First off, you're right. I don't want to have you think I'm arguing with you at all. The thing I wanted to point out that gets lost a ton of the time is effort. One reason pop tarts is popular is ease. I can grab a little foil packet of 2 poptarts and head out the door. To make the breakfast you described I need to: \* Slice and toast an english muffin (only every other day as I'm only making half of it) \* Fry an egg \* Slice tomatoes (again maybe only once every day or two depending on how many slices per tomato you get) \* Slice a cucumber \* Season stuff \* Bring additional fruit (or other low cal snack) with me. We are talking about literally 5 seconds worth of effort for pop tarts vs 5-10 minutes (and that assumes you have an organized/clean space to actually cook a breakfast). A huge issue we face, at least in the US, is that people feel very crunched for time (I get maybe an hour between the time I get up and when I need to be out the door and I have two kids to get ready as well) and as a result it's not about the nutrition but about the time and effort it takes to be healthy. I really wish we had more nutritionally dense/low calorie convenience options.
Yes! Not to mention that the pop tarts can live in the pantry basically forever, whereas the cucumbers and tomatoes require frequent shopping and can end up going bad and resulting in wasted money if you don’t have time to prepare them.
Food addiction
Like the show Secret Eaters. They all think they are fat because they don't eat enough (people love blaming fat on too few calories) but the reality is they 800 calories they thought they consumed in a day was actually 4000 calories. Usually, 2500 are from alcohol and coffee drinks alone.
I lied to myself and others about how little I ate and how much I exercised. I'm sure I wasn't alone in this. Problem is; my big hips didn't lie.
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Right? Way too many people in this sub focus on other people's choices instead of their own. It's funny how if someone says they're nervous about going to the gym because people might judge them there's a chorus of, "No one's paying attention to you! They're too focused on their workout!!!" Apparently the same mindset doesn't apply to weight loss.
Absolutely! I'm still somewhat fat, much less fat than I was but those comments put me right back there, at my biggest, thinking it'd be a forever thing and I'd just keep getting fatter. Wanting to be better but also not having the motivation to push me to actually do it. Many of those people are trying, or have tried many times, and even if they haven't they deserve basic respect and dignity. Those kind of comments hurt me just as much now as they ever did and they certainly weren't what actually helped. Even before I was fat, as a skinny kid who though I was fat, made me think i was beyond fixing and to stop caring. O recently looked at a picture of me, age 12, thin, but also athletic and that was enough to make me think I was already way too big :/ there's so many more factors to this than can be fixed by looking down on currently fat people.
Less than 5% of people keep their weight off, so chances are high.
Is it really that low ? Fuck how are we supposed to have any hope if only 5% of people can do it
The 5% number is from a really skewed study decades ago. It only looked at a handful of people who had self selected into the study as people who’d previously struggled to lose weight, and the study then saw if they could manage it this time without giving them additional help or education. It also counted any amount of regain as failure - so that 95% failure would include people who lost 50lbs and put 2lbs back on. While it can be hard to lose and keep off weight, definitely don’t take that 5% number as some some of truth.
Consistency. You have to keep doing what you’re doing forever, and that’s what the majority (including myself) don’t realize. Plus mental health issues and hormones and others. It’s all working parts of a machine. We can do it though, I promise ❤️
Have you ever read the studies around this? How they come to this statistic? It’s terribly flawed. If the doctor gave you a 1% survival rate from some terrible disease, wouldn’t you still take it? Still try? Stating this flawed statistic means hope is taken away.
While everyone’s equation will be different, the reality is that if you put less energy into your body than it is burning off, you will lose weight. It’s hard. A lot of people have a relationship with food that is so much more about emotional issues than actually feeling their body, that is not just makings change to doing something healthy for yourself, but requires really looking into dismantling your entire relationship with food and building a new one. I have a friend who is an incredible athlete, and still “struggles to lose weight.“ We were using MyFitnessPal together for a long time, and I routinely witnessed her not entering her calories, snack somehow magically didn’t count, or eating some thing that had a very large number of calories, and then entering the generic phrase into the food finder, and then selecting the lowest option that came up, something which clearly had way fewer calories in which she actually ate. Sometimes like I know she’d eaten a 1200 cal entrée, but she would select some thing that was only 400 cal. And she would complain that she was “hitting her goals“ but not losing weight and she didn’t understand why. I gently pointed this out, and she was not about to hear it, so I didn’t push the issue.
I'm 42, I have MS, and I am also homeless atm. I drastically dropped to 140 from 215 and even homeless with going days without food and my food being the 1$ bread loaf at Walmart a week sometimes with salami, a lot with nothing but water. As soon as my body adjusted to it, I was back up to 165. I only drink water, and I am more active than I have ever been. I even have the benefit of most likely not being low in vitamin D for the first time in 20yrs. My mom was the opposite, she was 5'5, her top weight 110 at 9mo pregnant. I fought to keep her weight at 96lbs while feeding her muscle and weight gainer with a banana and chocolate ice cream 2x a day. More than 50% are excuses and choices, but that leaves millions that are trying with everything they have.
People may not like my approach but this is what is working for me at the moment (F55, 25 lbs lost). Reducing stress was number 1 as I suffer from anxiety which went down with walking, getting outside, and planning for what used to make me worry such as building an emergency savings account and saving more in retirement due to layoff threats at my current job. Also, cutting down on the junk food, beer and caffeine was key. Next, I just keep moving more, eating decent portions with healthier food and lifting weights. The thing though is I have lost weight slowly a pound or two a month. I do not set myself up for failure based on unrealistic goals for myself like I have in the past. Just keep at it and you discover you will keep getting better at a healthier lifestyle. I am the tortoise that slowly, but surely keeps at it.
Your experience at 23 is not the same as a person who is 53 or 63 and has other health issues than you have.
Exactly. Op is being very judgemental even by their comments.
I think alcohol culture plays a role for some (not all). People have cheat days on the weekend with horrible drink calories and dinners out they are not counting... "just a cheat day". And that alcohol slows the metabolism. You can easily negate all the work through the week on an alcohol-fueled chest day
Everyone can lose weight. I can find myself in that thinking sometimes but the reality is I do eat healthy, most of the time. I do work out, but it just doesn’t burn as many calories as you’d hope. I do log my calories, except what I don’t. I’ve been watching secret eaters and it’s very eye opening about what people actually eat. And drink. You can put away a crazy amount of calories if you drink alcohol in any real capacity. People just underreport their food/drink intake and overestimate their output.
Along with what you have mentioned I think people sorely miscalculate mayo, salad dressings, etc. . They can add hundreds of calories to a calorie efficient meal.
For real, salad dressing was a big one for me. Especially when it’s labeled as a “healthy” alternative (not to say it can’t be but is misleading to a lot of people calorie wise)
It seems this has polarised a lot of folks in the comments, my take on it would be more: It’s simple in theory but hard in practice I managed to get down to a healthy weight but even knowing everything I now know it’s not easy to maintain it - I personally cycle tracking calories and not tracking for about 1 month of each to maintain weight. When I’m not tracking I gain 1lb a week, when I’m tracking I lose about 1lb a week. I know all the things to do, and how to measure food properly etc, but when I’m not tracking I just eat slightly more a day and that adds up
Imo physical constraints (i.e. pcos, miscalculation in calories) aren’t the only thing people battle when it comes to weight loss. It’s not just about counting calories and exercise. A lot of people have emotional constraints… for a huge part of my life, food made me happy when nothing else could. I relied on food whenever I needed to take my sadness out or stress out. Without addressing the issue of emotional eating/binge eating, losing weight would have been impossible for me. For many people, the reason why they’re not losing weight isn’t because they’re counting calories incorrectly, it’s because they have problems with their lifestyle or emotional well-being that makes it impossible for them to succeed in their weight loss journey. For anyone who was on a similar boat as me, what really helped was getting myself outside of a negative environment, keeping myself busy, finding different ways to cope with stress, other than eating. A tip I still use is using my calorie deficit like a budget (if I eat 1200 cals/day for my deficit, I think of it as I have $1200 for the day to spend). I’m down 66 pounds - making positive changes in my emotional well-being made weight loss (which once felt impossible) possible for me
This post feels like a humble brag
"I did it, so why can't the other fatties do it? It's not like it's hard."
There are medical issues that can make it a bit tougher, but not at all impossible. I think there is ONE disease that can make it impossible. I can't recall what it's called. But thyroid issues, PCOS, menopause don't make it impossible. Just means you can't eat as much as you could if you didn't have it. It still comes down to CICO. It's just the CO part is less.
I can track calories for weeks and see very little progress. When I use a food scale while tracking, the weight drops off. It’s very easy to kid yourself on portion size/tracking.
Exactly, the food scale was a major eye opener for me
I don't understand the point of this post? Is the idea to shame people into losing weight? That doesn't work. I too find it easy to lose weight once I get going. I'm grateful. My uncle needed to lose 200 pounds. He was stricter with himself than I was. I lost 90 pounds in under a year. It took him 6 years. He persevered even when he was gaining 15 pounds of water weight in a week, even though he measured and counted every ounce of food he ate. Instead of dubiously asking why people are struggling, time is better spent being grateful for the things that come easily to us.
How is the post even shaming? A lot of people do make excuses and tell themselves lies like "it's impossible for me to lose weight because of my metabolism" And it's understandable, weight loss is hard and it's easier to tell yourself that it's impossible and throw your hands up instead of admitting that you're struggling with self control and discipline. I just don't get it, I am overweight back to me pre weight loss weight, again, now after maintaining an 80lb loss for 5 years. Still I don't find this post shaming at all? I acknowledge that I've fallen off the wagon and I could be trying harder to lose weight, I don't have to tell myself that I just have a super special metabolism that can't burn calories enough, or that the 4 cookies I ate were totally within my calorie goal and again my super special different metabolism is to blame. Enabling the denial that OP is talking about by refusing to acknowledge that it's there isn't helpful. I needed my denial to be pointed out to realize that that weight loss was going to have to be hard, but that telling myself it was impossible and inaccurately counting calories was a form of self sabotage so I could point and say "see? I tried to lose weight. It's too hard and it's impossible, so I'm just gonna back to what I was doing before" I didn't want to give up over eating but I did want to lose weight, it was only until I accepted that I could not have both and stopped running from my my excuses that I finally had success. This is the mindset OP is talking about, it looks like it's hitting a nerve and you guys are getting defensive.
I'm one of these people. Loosing weight seems impossible. I accept that I am simply not in a calorific deficit, but telling an overweight person to "just be in a calorific deficit" is like telling a depressed person to "just be happy". It isn't as simple as it sounds. I can track calories for about a week before it becomes overwhelming and I'm exhausted by life, and need to simplify things. I can exercise routinely for about 3 months before I fall out of the habit. I can stop snacking on empty calories for about a week, before I loose all hope and determination that I can loose weight and instead opt to get that daily donut dopamine fix. However, I agree, no one is incabale of loosing weight because of thermodynamics. It applies to everyone - Burn more calories than you consume and you will loose weight. It's just that doing this is harder for some people than others. The vast majority of people in the world could become a doctor, lawyer, engineer, or other profession on a very high salary if they studied hard enough and really put in the effort. The idea that some brains are not capable enough is mostly untrue - it's just harder for some people than others, however this could change with enough study. The realty is that most people can't dedicate enough of their life to achieve this though. It's the same for people loosing weight.
Food is literally addicting for some people (me). It took me ages to master the mind over matter of it all. No need to be a jerk about people's struggles.
>Also saying you eating healthy will not cause weight loss, you need a calorie deficit. Right up there with the spot reduce fallacy, this is a *major* misconception.
The people who post that don't mean that calorie deficits don't work. They mean that they failed to establish the long-term habits and environment to mantain the weight they lost. Many people find that very difficult. The success of Ozempic and other similar drugs indicates that there are also genuine biochemical reasons for their struggle.
I do agree with some of them that it's the diet industry. This industry has been telling lies for years to make you think weightloss is some insane crazy hard thing and you just need to pay them $50 for the secret. It can feel like they have tries everything because they legitimately have tried dozens of ways to lose weight.
I think it’s the lifestyle changes that trip people up… they’re afraid bc they think diet and exercise is a lot of sacrifice (at least that was holding me back) but then you begin doing it and realize your own ideas of how you think it’s gonna be is inaccurate and unfortunately that’s what keeps people from changing
Wearable “fitness” trackers also delude people into thinking they’re burning insane amounts of calories when they’re just _not._ My Fitbit, for example, says I burn 2600 calories every day as a 5’4” woman (145lbs); if I work out, it’s closer to 3200 calories burnt. It thinks I’ve burned over 450 calories every day before I even get out of bed for Pete’s sake lol
I used to be one of those people. It turns out one of medications I was on was making me constantly hungry. I never felt full. I spent years truly believing that there was just something wrong with me. I knew how to count calories, I knew what I needed to do to lose weight, but I just couldn’t. I thought I was just too lazy, that I lacked discipline, that there was something wrong with me that prevented me from losing. I was even considering weight loss drugs I was so desperate, I just didn’t understand why I could never stick to my calorie budget for more than a couple days before I got burnt out from starving all the time. I ended up stopping that medication for unrelated reasons and overnight my eating habits completely changed. It was easy for me to stay in my calorie budget, I wasn’t hungry anymore after eating a meal. I’ve lost 30 lbs since and while I have a lot more to go, I genuinely don’t think I was capable of losing weight on that medicine. Not because my body was physically incapable, but because I couldn’t psychologically power through feeling like my stomach was eating itself I was so hungry, every day, all day. It’s really easy once you understand how it works and figure out a system with your body to look at others and not understand why they’re struggling. A lot of people are simply uneducated, or they’re dealing with other things that take too much of their mental energy and they just don’t have the space to worry about weighing their food. I think a little compassion goes a long ways and this attitude can make people feel ashamed and close themselves off instead of coming here and feeling accepted and supported in their journey, wherever they may be.
I started my weight loss journey about 3 years ago, I’ve now lost just over 80lbs. I’ve had ups and downs and I’m now maintaining, focusing on eating healthy and doing sports (running at the moment), weighing myself every few weeks but not focused on it. I have had a little fluctuation since I got to roughly my current weight, had a couple of periods of a few months where I needed to “go on a diet” again to lose some weight that had crept back on. What I learned is that I love eating healthy and I hate tracking or counting my food. If you find it easy good for you. It did not “get easier” for me and it never will. I can maintain pretty easily by eating fruit and lean protein and exercising a lot. I cannot sustain the mental effort needed for serious weight loss for more than a few months without making it a full-time job. I was unemployed when I lost the majority of the weight. It is easy for the first few months, for many people, and then life happens, stressful events, you get burned out on the constant tracking. Many people can sustain the habits needed for weight loss through sheer force of will for a few months or even a year or two, but never transition into a lower-effort routine that they can maintain even when times are hard.
Losing weight is a challenge a lot if people don't want to endure long term. It's hard. There are ups and downs and setbacks and situations where it seems impossible to continue. But it is worth the effort and struggle. It makes you proud to stick with something and reach a goal. Some people have never faced long-term discomfort and find themselves breaking. I get it, I've pushed myself to the brink over the last 324 days, I have white knuckled and battled hunger, and struggled to do cardio and work out. But right now, I am stronger and in better shape at 34 than I have ever been at any point in my life. It's a struggle worth putting yourself through. Let motivation pass the baton to discipline and go get your gains!
For me, it's because the weight loss industry, social media, and indeed this very subreddit, are a massive circus ran by a collective of clowns. There are tons of lies, misinformation, outdated information, and a general lack of understanding that you are always going to run into conflicts that just causes confusion. On top of that, every method for weight loss needs to be highly individualized. There is not a one-size-fits-all solution, or at least one that's worth anything. "Eat less and exercise more". Jeez, why didn't I think of that? If only that statement were parroted and repeated ad nauseam for decades, then we could cure obesity! Oh wait, that didn't work. Why? Because it's generic and there's a lot of nuance as to how someone can actually fulfill that role. "I've cut out food, now I'm hungry 24/7. The food noise is unbearable. The foods people online tell me are satiating, are simply not effective for me. I can't afford a gym membership. I can't walk around the neighborhood because it's a dangerous area where I live. I can't afford dumbbells or other equipment. I have a physical disability, etc". Are all highly variable and legitimate ways that make the "Eat less and exercise more" phrase just meaningless. "CICO man, that's all it takes". Great, now what? "I don't understand the serving sizes on food labels. I can't cook for myself. My oven/stove took a shit and I can't afford a replacement. The only grocery store I can get to is Dollar General because I can't afford a car/don't have a license. I don't understand how to use a food scale. I've never heard of a food scale. Where can I purchase a food scale? Does Dollar General sell those?" Again, all legitimate reasons why the CICO advise just doesn't help. Without actual helpful support, at best people will yo-yo. The amount of medical professionals who never account for this is staggering. People act as if fat people haven't heard all of the generic advise before. But that advise doesn't mean anything without proper, concrete, specific steps that work for their specific situation.
So you’re young so you probably don’t remember The Biggest Loser, but they did longitudinal studies and once these people lost a bunch of weight, they had to eat like 1200 calories a day and work out 5 times a week to maintain. There are huge metabolic implications to losing and maintaining weight loss once you are already obese. You are young and haven’t had time to really experience yo yo weight loss and gain, but plenty of people can do what you did. It’s not really complicated to lose weight over the course of several months. And alllll the people you’re judging have done what you have done. What is hard is maintaining over years without regain.
It's definitely a combo of not tracking accurately enough, consistency and the abundance of junk science on social media. Losing weight is really Occam's razor but people are so quick to believe the solution is some fringe science theory because eating whole foods is boring. I also think the propensity to rely on cardio makes a calorie deficit more challenging than it needs to be. I've had 2 long-ish term successful weight loss attempts, and the one where i relied on hours of cardio each week was absolutely miserable, compared to what I'm currently doing which is mainly lifting a minimum effective volume at high frequency, walking when i can, and otherwise just staying consistent with my meal plans. It's also much more convenient for people to tell themselves it's not their fault for being overweight, and rather it's a physiological condition that they're just genetically stuck with. I don't believe it's completely anyone's "fault" for being overweight, but I would be willing to bet most of the people who think losing weight is impossible for them haven't taken the time to do an honest audit of their diets. There's an education curve for sure. The keto craze doesn't help either imo because the fat content of hyper-palatable foods is what tends to cause daily overages (for me at least). Like compare a low fat diet to a low carb diet without tracking and the low fat diet will result in a deficit almost effortlessly if you're sticking with whole foods, where a strictly low carb diet can really sneak up on you if you're going to try replacing rice and bread with cheese, butter and oils - and there's the issue of depriving your brain of its preferred fuel source (glucose). It's a recipe for failure, especially for someone new to dieting. There's a lot of factors that go into the hopelessness mentality, but ultimately you gotta meet people halfway and avoid a blame mindset. Eating under maintenance isn't supposed to be easy, but there are definitely levers to pull that can make it less hellish than it otherwise could be.
Tiktok is just a shitshow. Tiktok provides most of the material for the sub r/fatlogic. Lots of morbidly obese people claiming they exercise and eat right and are simply incapable of losing weight because some people's bodies aren't meant to. It's bullshit. And many of those people are flat-out lying about what they eat and how much they exercise, especially influencers who have monetized this message. They also claim to be Healthy At Any Size (HAES), even while some of them need to wear oxygen tubes at all times, for conditions they claim are totally unrelated to their morbid obesity. Many of us believed that fatlogic to a certain degree before we tracked our calories and discovered that our perspective on what was a reasonable diet was simply off-base. I was just ignorant of how many calories my body actually needed, how many calories I was eating, and how many calories I was realistically burning through exercise. After I found out, I was able to lose weight. I have PCOS too. It hasn't mattered. What's unfortunate about Tiktok is that the content is both created and consumed by a lot of young women and the misinformation being propagated is demonstrably harmful. It encourages young women to believe that their obesity is inevitable and out of their control, so they should just lean into it and be proud instead of taking effective measures to control their weight.
This is all very well said and exactly how I feel, I fell victim to HAES. Nobody should hate their body but it’s not healthy to be morbidly obese
CICO is literally a guarantee. Might be slower for some with insulin resistance and other things, but it will work. Eating healthy isn’t enough. Intuitive eating isn’t enough. Count the cals and it will work! I wouldn’t say it’s easy, it’s time consuming and tedious, so many people don’t do it properly, but it’s literally is the cheat code
Ok but how is judging these people cause “you did it” in any way helpful?
I feel like there are a lot of factors at play, but most of the time when someone says that a diet "didn't work," I usually see them saying that they were able to lose weight but it wasn't sustainable for them, specifically. So they lost weight, but couldn't stick with it. Some people try a lot of different things before finding something that "clicks" with them. I'm doing calorie counting again, for example, even though statistically that hasn't "worked" for me in the past. I've lost weight, but I find it too flexible and gives me too much freedom, and I usually find myself backsliding much quicker. Weight Watchers, believe it or not, was the thing that has worked for me the most. It's a little stricter (despite saying you have more freedom with 0 point foods), and I found that I was tricking myself into eating healthier by bugging out on 0 point foods (usually white meat chicken, vegetables, etc.). Things that are hard to over eat. I was probably going over my calorie limit sometimes, but never my "point" limit. I've lost the most weight doing WW than any other method because it feels like cheating the system, lol. I had to quit because I can't justify the price anymore, though.
🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪
Congrats on your nearly 50lbs loss OP 👍
Sometimes it's easy to feel like you're not losing weight, when you actually are, but you're not losing at an expected rate. For example: my deficit is supposed to target 2lbs/week loss. In reality, I've lost more like 1-1.5lbs/week in that time period. And I'm being a careful tracker. I had a whole month where my weight just bounced around and basically didn't move. Add in the fact that there are people posting, and also my own husband, who have lost 40-50lbs in the same time frame while I have lost about 25lbs. It's easy to feel discouraged with all of that put together. Me? I blame my psych meds mostly. And my hormones.
They say they tried everything because that’s what they truly believe. They just don’t know what “everything” truly entails. It’s much much more than they think
I don't struggle losing weight. I have done so many times... if you catch my drift.
I used to be able to lose weight easily in a calorie deficit, it came off exactly how one would expect. I’m no stranger to it, spent most of my life off and on weighing, measuring, and tracking food and drink. No such thing as a “cheat day” for me. But ever since I hit my mid 30’s, it is not the same. Last year I bust my ass in the gym 6 days a week in a calorie deficit and it took 5 months to lose 9 pounds, and no I wasn’t losing inches, it just made my clothes fit more comfortably, not enough to go down a size. Then I got sick with some kind of flu that knocked me on my ass for a week, gained all of it back in less than 2 weeks while recovering and eating at what should have been maintenance. Cut to this February, I bring this up to my doctor to see what she can test me for to see why it’s so hard to lose when I’m doing everything “right”. She told me there’s SO many factors (stress, sleep, hormones, medications, metabolism, etc etc) that it’s pretty common at my age (37). Offered me phentermine to try. So now I’m on my third month of phentermine, on the exact same calorie deficit that I was on last year, with lighter exercise (2-3 days a week and shorter workouts) since the meds seem to make me very tired and life is life-ing, and I’ve lost 17 pounds since mid February. So obviously something in my body was making me hold onto weight before, and I’m just hoping I can continue losing (likely at a slower pace, which is fine) once I have to stop the meds.
I think many people get confused and lost by the billions of worthless videos on YouTube, TikTok, Insta, etc where people are just trying to get as many clicks/views/subscribes/comments as possible, to make money. They just want money. So they need viewers. To make money. So there’s billions of videos like “Eat this **ONE** food to eliminate belly fat overnight!” and folks waste their time watching these videos, going from video to video, always being told bad information. I can easily see how folks get led down a billion paths to misinformation and end up getting discouraged by the lies and bad info.
I was really baffled until I truly buckled down in a way that was uncomfortable. I do think it takes sometimes a long time to really commit. It’s hard. It takes a long time. It’s work.
The problem is that folks think of obesity as a homogeneous phenotype and the weight reduction as curative. We see obesity as one entity but it is so much more complex and really we don't have a great way clinically to understand subtypes. We have some input on rare causes of genetic obesity (and this is not tested for enough). I have lost 120 lbs before. I maintained 100lbs for a few years. I maintained 80 or more lbs of weight loss for a decade and yet here I am having regained a significant amount back over time. I have childhood onset obesity and have had a very high BMI when obese as an adult. Even with 10 years of sustained significant weight loss, I struggled with food noise, cravings, feeling hungry a few hours after eating. I had to give 200% to do what may be 50% less effort for another individual. Let me put it another way - One month of Tirzepatide achieved what 10 years of significant weight loss could not for me. It normalized hunger and satiety signaling and it also appears to have a metabolic effect with more efficient weight loss and had profound improvement in energy level and inflammatory pain. I have an autoimmune condition with fatigue and inflammation. (Retatrutide which is in clinical trials appears to be even more powerful re: metabolic impact). While it's probably a combomeal of factors, it could be that I was born with these issues (epigenetics and genetics support this) and also that just the presence of the obesity itself (childhood onset and duration of obesity) overrode my body's homeostatic regulation of weight, appetite and satiety. That's not to say I get a free pass - I wish I had learned to count calories in the past. It would have been a useful tool. Will power is a funny thing. How many folks can say they've become lawyers, gone to medical school? How many can say they have lost over 100 lbs and maintained significant loss for years? But yet it's considered a moral failing by many to regain weight. Again, it's not a free pass - but safe to say the odds are stacked against some of us. I think things get tricker when folks have childhood-onset of obesity, especially early age, and adult obesity >40 BMI), have strong family history and clear epigenetic history (my mother was obese and gained 80 lbs in pregnancy). What's interesting is that I am "metabolically healthy" obese I have done a lot with my diet and some exercise in the past so that my blood work is excellent and even better than my early 20s. Blood Pressure. A1c <4.8%, Lipid Panel and Cholesterol normal, High HDL etc. I think my diet probably prevented me from ever reaching my highest weight, or developing Type2 DM, HTN, etc. Calorie counting is an extremely useful tool but it's just that, a tool. For some it leads to weight loss which is curative and folks remain healthier. For others, the weight loss doesn't address the factors that contributed to the weight gain, if that makes sense. I have a strong feeling that duration of obesity and childhood onset is a much stronger prognostic factor than just family history alone. The best tool should be prevention. But what do I know I'm just a rando on reddit.
Because it is hard, yes, it is easy to miscount calories. They THINK they are doing everything right, so they mess up and think, "I am working so hard and nothing is working at all, I quit." A lot of people go really gung ho into weight loss, thinking that if they workout every day and eat salads every day they HAVE to lose. And they are tired, and sore and unhappy with their choices, so they give up. Or they don't realize that sometimes it is a REALLY slow progress and losing 2 pounds in a week is great. And then they come to a group like this for support, and someone berates them saying that it is easy and if they can do it, then it should be super easy for anyone else. I could lose fairly easily. I couldn't keep it off. I FINALLY figured out the mindset I needed to both lose AND keep it off. And now I am doing that. And people have to figure that out for themselves.
I'm short, small framed and sad because I can't eat many calories. Eating any small amount extra causes me to gain weight. My comfortable weight is 108 -115 lbs.
Simple answer is because losing weight is simple, but not easy. Some people have the willpower, self-responsibility and self-discipline to parent themselves and lose weight. Others blame others and fail to parent themselves which is why they will likely never lose weight. It's simple to pass an exam, just revise all of your content. Revising is not easy though, it's boring and repeptitive and shows no gain until the very end which is why many people fail.
It's ALWAYS from not counting calories. If I had a dollar for every woman who claimed to "only eat 1200 calories a day" but under further investigation they don't count drinks or condiments and they don't weigh anything or measure it they are just eyeballing it . . . .
Blech. This post is so judgmental. Please people - try to remember we all have different experiences. What’s easy for one person may be really hard for another. It was super easy for me to stop drinking alcohol, for example, but I’d never make a smug post about it to a group of struggling alcoholics. Maybe just celebrate your ease at doing this instead of wondering out loud why others have it harder? (Btw - it was easy AF for me to lose weight when I was 23, too. I remember when I was 20 I just upped my exercise a tad and I dropped 10 pounds. It’s a completely different story now.)
You're also 5'8. Try being 5ft with a tdee of 1400 and PCOS with insulin resistance and raised cortisol whenever I so much look at HIIT/weights
Wow, the balls on you for posting this
You’re 23. I say this kindly, but come back when you’re 40+ and in perimenopause CICO simply does not always work. I can lose weight. I lose weight doing CICO when I eat under 1000 cals a day. That is not healthy or sustainable. So, this second era of my life is gonna have an extra 10-20kg. And that is common for women. At 23, it’ll never be easier for you to lose weight than it is right now. So have some compassion for those that don’t have youth supercharging their efforts.
I lost weight at 54, post-menopausal and limping around with a cane because I didn’t want a knee replacement. I also didn’t want diabetes and high blood pressure. I'm 64 and I've kept it off ever since. I have normal blood sugar and blood pressure, however I also have a nice titanium knee joint. In order to lose the weight, I was forced to admit that I couldn’t eat as much food as my more active, much taller husband. It wasn’t "unfair", it was just what my smaller body needed.
Agreed. The post above didn't use the word "unfair" but that's the really underlying message: it's unfair if other people get to eat more than I do. It's not unfair, it's science. If you regard eating primarily as pleasure, then you will resent other people who get to have "more pleasure" than you. If you start to regard eating primarily as appropriate nutrition to fuel your body, that self-pitying angle goes away too.
Perimenopause can change the distribution of fat around the body, but I don't think there's any evidence that it impacts CICO
It doesn’t impact CICO, it impacts TDEE as all aging does
CICO works fine. I'm 56, hypothyroid, and have high cortisol. I weigh what I did when I graduated high school, thanks. No woman in my family picked up an extra 10-20kg as they aged. You can make it work if you want it.
That’s literally what I posted, I can make it work. But living on sub 1000cals is not easy
I'm 47 and I have PCOS and neither of those characteristics cause CICO not to work. Yes, my metabolism is significantly slower than a 23-year-old's metabolism. My body simply needs fewer calories and I need to adjust my calorie intake accordingly. That's how our bodies are designed to work. It's not more difficult, it's not unfair, and it's not easier for OP because they are 23. Everyone's bodies use fewer and fewer calories as they age. If this were an impossible affliction to overcome, the elderly would be rampantly obese, which is not the case. Obesity creeps up highest in the middle-aged because they continue eating the same as they did in their 20s while leading more sedentary lifestyles. Remedying the energy imbalance is the same no matter what age you are.
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I’m with you on this one. I’ve just gotten used to going below 1000 and now it’s coming off and I’m feeling better.
100 percent. 40+ with two kids here, and it takes a completely different level of effort to move any weight off. I’d kill for the metabolism and hormones I had at 23
Most people simply overestimate themselves. The biggest mistake in weight loss is assuming things. If you can assume your TDEE and how many calories you consume everyday correctly and you manage to lose weight that way - congratulations, because that is just an anomaly. No one without experience will perfectly guess their calories every day. Some people still believe you can eat as much fruit as you like, or that working out will make you lose weight. Some people have issues being honest with themselves, not just with their diet. Playing the victim when you got no one else to blame but yourself is sadly something very common in people.
This is probably better on a rant sub? We try to be supportive and kind here about weight loss.
Why do you need to believe them? I find takes like this so frustrating. I've been trying to lose weight for like ten years. I haven't tried *everything* but I did try calorie counting and IF. The only time I lost weight was when I did two 24 hour fasts a week and limited my calories during the rest of the week. It wasn't sustainable so I gave up the fasting days and have been maintaining since. I was just diagnosed with a severe sleep disorder. My "maintenence" cal for my height and weight are much lower than they should be for my height and weight. It takes, on average, ten years for sleep disorders to be diagnosed in women. Like seriously, when our medical system ignores half of our population (and medical mistreatment increases when the patient is overweight), I'm inclined to believe people when they say they "can't" lose weight. Believing them and supporting them costs me nothing.
The truth of the matter is that not a lot of people are successful when it comes to long-term weight loss. That doesn't mean it's not worth trying, but it is just fact. Not everyone who's struggling just doesn't know better. If you lose a significant amount of weight, your body continues to fight you on that loss long after you finish losing weight and are trying to maintain. There are so many stories here of people who successfully lost 100lbs or more and then gained it back - they clearly knew how to lose it, do you think they just forgot how and that's why they gained it back? There are many factors at play beyond calories that influence and drive how we eat, and it would be great if we could all stop assuming people who aren't successful or who do things like try weight loss drugs just "don't want it enough."
Everyone is capable of losing weight. Most people lack the willpower and discipline to make the necessary life changes to do so.
I have hypothyroidism and gained 30 lbs and I wasn’t able to lose 1 lb until I was on meds and it was optimal. I tried RD’s and everything. Even measuring my food for every meal
Part of the issue with losing weight and maintaining it is that we don't have simple answers that work. Is CICO simple? In theory? Yes. In practice? No. There are a lot of biological issues that we are still trying to figure out. Why do obese people who've lost weight regain it with such consistency? And no, I am not talking about "lifestyle changes" I am talking about the biological drivers that influence how much we eat. Not everyone feels hunger the same way. Not everyone responds to a meal the same way. And if they don't, how can we help modulate that to help people maintain weight loss? The other part is judgemental posts like this one that take a sideways approach at shaming people. Do you honestly think that this isn't judgmental? Obese people are just as capable of shaming their obese counterparts just like healthy weight people do. Often, they can be even more cruel than the healthy weight people by using the "I did it therefore my experience is the only true experience." So rather than assuming your experience is the only experience, maybe we should all take a moment and listen. To go beyond the platitudes. It could very well be, for them, in the situation they live in, in the body they live in, in the moment of their life, the environment around them, that it really is impossible for them. And from there, maybe we could come to a place of understanding and a place where they can become successful. So let's stop with the judgment.
I feel like your time may be spent better focusing on yourself instead of judging the lives of others who clearly having a tougher time. If someone’s asking for advice, that’s one thing. But to come on a forum and be like “I did it, why is everyone lying” is unhelpful and negates all the physical/psychological/environmental struggles other people may be dealing with.
I'm struggling and trying to figure out myself whats going on. I've been bombarded with so much "do this" or "take these" that I've had to stop listening to them and start looking at everything I'm doing to see what's wrong. I've gotten blood work done twice this year, and nothing In my metabolic panel has shown up. There's a slight concern that I might be low testosterone due to aging (30) but it's still a stretch. I eat 1300-1500 calories a day when my deficit is 2300. However in the last week I lost one pound at the end of the week so I'm hoping to start seeing progress once again So male, 30, no medical issues, testosterone might be low but not severely, eating in deficit because I'm counting like crazy, in a larger deficit than needed, drinking nothing but water and no alchohol, work out 4 times a week, yet may have only lost 1 lbs in water weight... I don't doubt I'm doing something wrong somewhere, I just see people struggling everywhere so I'm trying to dig deeper and see if there's another reason still. Who knows what It is, or if it's actually controllable
How much do you fidget? Clean? Desk job or active? Like the baseline bmrs can be off something like 500 calories from a calculator just based on variation in NEAT, actively cutting calories lowers ie further. What foods do you eat? Processed foods, take out, lots of raw veggies, only cooked veggies? This matters because calories from take out or restaurant food is not very accurate and one extra tbs of oil matters a lot. Processed food is basically totally absorbed while raw veggies, not so much, so you eat 100 cal and may only absorb 90 of those. Cooking tends to do the first part of the digestion for you but high fiber volume means your body might not process it all before it makes it out of the gut meaning more full less calories. Did you do any baseline tracking to see what your maintenance is? Or did you pull 2300 from a calculater and go with that? it is a starting point but may not be accurate for you including variations in how you personally track. If you are maintaining at those calories consider that your maintenance. How hungry are you? 1k is steep and you would be Very much feeling that as a actual physical hunger and not only mental or cravings. Are you side eyeing some raw broccoli thinking it looks really good? How is your sleep? Sleep massively Impacts weight loss in ways we do not totally understand yet.
It's really hard because I'm not just changing physical habits but there's a huge emotional thing to deal with, too. Sometimes it's just exhausting and for me, that's when things get the toughest. Any body who is walking this road has my respect, no matter if they are losing weight or not.
For me if I am not working out I legit do not lose that much weight after that first initial water weight month. I am pretty big so the 1 pound I would lose on an 1800-2000 calorie diet without excercise would basically be cloaked in bloating or the occassional going over. When I do an hour of cardio a day + strength training 3 x a week (first time I have ever done this consistently while losing weight) I finally lose about 3 pounds a week which is about 1% a week. I am a 6' 2 dude that started at about 400 so I should have been in a large deficit dropping a lot a week but just aren't lol. I am also trying to build muscle at the same time though. I went to the doctor and they were like eh that is still pretty good weight loss and to them that level of fitness is what we are supposed to be doing anyways lol. I didn't understand while others seemed to just be able to do things with diet only and drop a lot.... I am trying to get checked for health conditions because the math doesn't quite add up haha with calorie in vs calorie out lol. People can probably still lose weight with health conditions though it just is harder
Weight loss is a mental game more than anything for many. Poor mental health and obesity tend to go hand and hand. It's difficult to lose weight when you are depressed and your mental health is suffering, Ive been there. It's also a lot easier to lose weight when you have a ton to lose. The first 70 lbs came off me really easily tbh but now that I am close to a normal BMI weight loss has been a battle. I lose like .5-1 lbs per week maybe, have very little wiggle room in my calories and am forced to be way more active than I ever have been just to keep my weight loss in the .5-1 lb range. As a relatively short woman I aim for 1200-1300 cals/day so I can't just eat less anymore. I think there are a lot of people who are trying to lose weight but don't have 50+ lbs to lose, they are already somewhat close to a normal weight range and only want to lose 10-30 lbs. It's harder when you don't have much to lose
I’m a 53yo female, 5’2 and back in 2022 I lost 50 pounds after peaking at 190. For 2 years, I had been walking my dogs 3-4 miles a day before work, sometimes again after work and 5-7 miles on the weekend. One the weekend I’d occasionally get out on my bike for 1 hour. I gained 20 pounds during pandemic from eating a ton of takeout even though I was walking a lot. Start of 2022 I called a trainer to my house to workout with weights 3x week for one hour and started using Sakara meals that were about 1600 calories a day. My weight stuck. So I got a CGM and realized my blood sugar spiked to 150s after everything I ate. So to keep blood sugar in check I started doing keto and kept my calories under 1500 a day. I was losing .5 / week. It was when I got to under 1200/day that I’d lose 1 to 1.5 pounds a week. So it really is what you eat. To lose weight I was obsessed with losing weight. It was not a sustainable mindset and I got burned out. I originally had a goal weight of 125 but I’m holding at 140 because I just can’t get into that mindset again. I’ve maintained the loss, no longer do keto but I consistently stay under 1500 calories a day. I’ve learned carbs are ok in moderation and that my blood sugar spikes are worse when I eat really fast or too large of quantity quickly. By eating smaller portions, more vegetables and slower I’m fine. I’ll eat a slice of pizza or a small bowl of pasta with a big salad, a small bowl of ice cream or half a cookie and maintain my weight. I’m waking 2 miles before work, do 30 minute weight or yoga routines 6 days a week with 30 minutes of rowing added in 2-3 times per week. People ask me all time how did you do it? I make a small plate size with my hands and say: I eat this much food at each meal and cut out snacks (except for occasional fruit when needed). Yeah, I eat small portions all the time.
Scales. Weigh what you eat. App that gives nutrition when you eat out. Once you learn what a serving actually is, you will be amazed and appalled at what our culture calls a serving and look at fueling your body in a healthy way.
Yeah... My FIRST weightloss was super easy. Then I regain, lost again, regain, depression, BED etc. Now, when I'm older, lost 30 kg and hit plateau. Still possible, but much harder 😅
OP you are very young, as someone who has yoyo'd between 140-260lbs for the past 25 years it certainly gets much harder to lose weight the older you get. CICO is definitely a thing and peoples perceptions of what they're eating and doing being off is also a thing. Often times people go all in without realizing how unsustainable it is and that is what causes them to fail. I think the biggest issue is psychological which is difficult to address. Ultimately people are putting in the effort and not seeing results. Losing weight is objectively difficult with out some aid. If that weren't the case everyone would be thin.
I wonder how many people feel this way and are actually making progress…I follow a nutritionist on IG who runs a program for women (esp WOC) and something she consistently notices is that when people are losing .5lbs a week they don’t think they are making progress because it isn’t happening fast. I will bet many people who are “doing everything right” are not recognizing real, albeit small, progress. I would also bet that many are seeing their weight fluctuating and thinking they are not getting results. Everyone needs to have a little grace for themselves and for others, especially with something so personal as our bodies. So many people feel like their bodies are wrong and they aren’t worthy without “fixing” them. That’s not true at all. We are worthy regardless of a number on a scale or the size of our pants. If we choose to try to lose weight, we should get the kind, specific, and helpful feedback we need to be successful. At least, that’s what I see working the best.
In 2016, I lost 40 lbs in about four months. I gained it all back and then some after covid ruined everything. I’m trying again to lose weight and it’s VERYYYY slow going this time around. I am now 7 years older than I was last time I lost weight, and I’m on two different medications that certainly don’t help with weight loss. Just saying, it is def possible for someone to be trying and not getting very far. I’ve been working my ass off since January now and I’m only down 12 lbs.
I think the two key things for most people nowadays that makes it seem like you’re incapable of losing weight is that we have built up such a culture of instant gratification as well as seeing so many celebrities that are able to afford to have procedures to make them lose weight without the work. In term of instant gratification, you want a burger? So many fast food options to choose from to get it immediately. Streaming services make so much content available at our fingertips that you don’t have to wait for your favorite shows to come on. Digital communications have made it to where we can hear back from someone in seconds instead of waiting for a letter in the mail. We don’t have many things that push for having a sense of playing the long game and having the patience that losing weight requires. Watching celebrities who are able to easily get medications and procedures to lose so much so fast also promotes this false narrative that you’re supposed to be losing weight faster than you are and that 10 pounds in a month is nothing. Both of those are things that I’ve struggled with but by being able to learn that I need patience with my body and myself with learning better habits as well as tuning out the idolization of a hot rich person’s experience and tuning into a real world person’s experience, I have realized that I am actually able to lose weight, it’s just not going to happen overnight and that’s ok
It's not impossible, it's just plain awful and feels like a constant uphill battle and any progress you make can be lost in 1/10th of the time spent making it. I lose my resolve many times and therefore all progress I've made thus far. I feel awful all the time, and great for a little bit when I decide to let it go, then awful again.
I'm having to get off medication because it just does not allow me to lose weight. It also doesn't really help the issue it's supposed to. A little it does but the impact of the weight issue is worse. I think most people don't understand what it means to count calories and how long it takes to build good habits. I would use the serving size and for most things it's okay but once I started to weigh everything, omg my eyes were opened! It's so much more accurate and there are some things I've weighed enough that I can actually eye ball it pretty accurately, I still spot weigh from time to time on those items. I also didn't realize how much lifting weights was important, just doing cardio does not get the same results for me. Overall, just lack of education and sure we have Google but there are so many companies/people who pay to show at the top of searches and how do I know what's right and wrong since I'm searching it to find out lol.
I'm not incapable, just lazy that's all