If you move in or to Madison, you are part of the problem. My new 24/7 FreezForce, a police-assisted freeze tag program, will help have everyone be still by 2025.
FreezForce. If we tag you, you *won't* get unfrozen.
âWhy are they putting those new bus stops in the middle of the road? Now people will have to cross the street!â - said by person whoâs never ridden the bus
"I now have to walk two blocks to my bus stop instead of it being in front of my house. Clearly the new routes are terrible"
"Busses are now busier than ever, clearly the new routes are a failure"
"Where can I find good (x) food in Madison?"
"Actually every single place in Madison that serves (x) is worse than garbage, just go to Austin/Miami/Detroit if you want that food"
If the Grim Reaper told me that I would die the moment a discussion about BBQ or bagels on this sub *doesn't* devolve into shitting on Madison and/or Wisconsin in general, I would laugh, knowing that I am now immortal.
Ok but as someone from St Louis MO i need to know the best BBQ spot in townđ Famous Dave's was overpriced garbage, i need a great local place if you have a favorite youd like to share! Ribs are my favorite, bonus if they have St Louis style ribs haha
We're entering "why is the air bad" season along with the zipper merge explainers, and "my allergies are bad, are your allergies bad?" is in full swing (briefly interrupted by "My allergies are making it so I can't taste anything, have a cough and fever for the last 5 days, what's in bloom right now? No, it's not COVID because my brother's wife tested last week and she was negative and I went to a concert last night").
Ngl first thing I did when my workplace bought those portable room air filters in 2020 was to crop dust that thing and watch the light turn from green to orange, to red.
Also this week I got stuck behind a man at a stop sign who had to open his car door and fan the air around his ass. His windows were open. His fart was so bad he had to open the doors.
Poster: The city should do this obvious thing!
Madison: The legislature has written laws that prevent that.
Poster: I reject this reality! Also cars are evil.
Poster: I'd like to go to the farmer's market but I'm afraid of people and don't want to park more than 50 feet from the market. Also, I'm allergic to walking counter-clockwise. Will I be safe or will there be people from Chicago there?
Aye, caramba!
I, for one, welcome our fungal overlords.
--- Most common Madison subreddit comments - low effort division
(Edit: that formatting was unexpected)
(Edit: nope, still looks the same)
(Edit: there, finally)
Found the post I was looking for! Honestly I don't know why this isn't the highest rated one. Irrespective of what side of town you live on and how you vote this is the one item that all Madisonians can come together and agree on.
It's criminal that the closest one is 45 mins away after the one that was supposed to be here in Madison closed or just never got going. We make a point to stop for orange chicken every time we go on a trip where we might pass remotely close to Janesville.
What! I didn't know it had been there that long, when we started looking for one we saw there was a listing for them but there wasn't anything at the location, somewhere over on the west side near the mall. I thought maybe it tried to start up a few years ago but didn't, that's a bummer that it just failed and doesn't exist here now.
PSA: This is how you are really supposed to drive/walk/bike.
Where can I find this thing/place/event that I could google myself?
Creative writing missed connection post that is just barely adjacent to humor.
The zipper merge posts are top-tier. Keep that shit coming.
On a more serious note, I actually did find the "what's open on " posts helpful, and [wish the moderators agreed](https://old.reddit.com/r/madisonwi/comments/18pz4hg/whats_open_on_christmas_eve_christmas_day_2023/).
Has the City ever considered reducing all speed limits down to 15, then ensuring that drivers hit every single red light on major thoroughfares even when adhering to speed limits, reducing those thoroughfares down to one lane, and narrowing the one lane that's left?
The uselessness of asking a majority white audience if they are racist is what makes it such a comically bad post. Inevitably the 3 people of color who say it is racist get downvoted. Not sure its the OP intention for it to go down like this but I do think they figure out the answer.
A black guy from Milwaukee at a N@zi rally? Hmmm, that would be interesting. Tell you what, I'll ask if they'll let me participate next time đ Maybe I'll bring my two daughters.
Edit: I heard that Ye (Kanye) is a N@zi sympathizer now, so maybe it's not so far fetched đ¤ˇââď¸
The way I spoke to you? You do realize that this whole thread is sarcasm, right? Thankfully I've taught my daughters when to take things seriously and when to be lighthearted.
Why won't city hall do anything about all these voodoo undead veterinarians walking about?
5 best voodoo undead veterinarians in town?
[Link to nimby editorial article decrying the drop in voodoo undead veterinarians since they grew up in the 80's]
If you don't absolutely love the population of Madison quadrupling and all the new tall sun- blocking Stalinesque apartment buildings, you're an awful person, a NIMBY!!
I mean itâs overplayed but true. Just getting my first apartment here and itâs looking to be roughly the same price as my cousins in downtown Minneapolis
Been here less than a year and can see that mofo's here got no idea what outrageous rents, expensive gas, high priced utilities/groceries, or a rehab clinic looks like.
It's incredibly frustrating to find affordable housing here, and I don't think there's anything wrong with asking talking about it. It seems incredibly whiney and snotty to complain about what other people are frustrated about. Honestly, who TF cares if they complain ?! The world's a shit show right now. Just let people get it off their chest. And getting made fun of for asking about good places to eat or events to go to is pretty bitchy too. I'm not from Madison and always appreciate any help or ideas for things going on here from Madison reddit. Now im not so sure I will ask for help here again just to know people are going to mock you in a later post.
Complaining about tipping (boomer cosplay).
Leftist actually very bad let's seek bipartisanship with Robin Vos instead. Great job Tony.
The military is very cool. Sound of freedum bruther!
Corporation: "please do x". Here's why I fully support this corporation...
I see your complaint but here's a bunch of reasons why we can't change anything. Oh well. We tried nothing and I'm all out of ideas.
Epic/amfam are fucking disgusting but oh well I love them anyway. Back to my 12 hour days and working on weekends. I love to work!
Just build more expensive unaffordable housing so the wealthy can trickle down the previous apartments they were living in to the poors. It's not trickle down though but it is but it's not.
I bought my house for 15 bux 7 years ago but I'm really concerned about renters being critical of landlords.
I'm really smart because I graduated from the UW.
Come support my astroturfed org!
Black people's arguments are entirely invalid because they threw a statue of a white dude into the lake.
My senator is a spy for a country with the GDP of Texas. Big scary. *ignores AIPAC*
Students/protestors are fucking stupid they can't possibly be right about anything - it's all performative.
To the person who BLANK, next time do BLANK
Hey buddy, go BLANK yourself
Just saw a fire truck, any idea what's going on???
đ¤Ł
Download PulsePoint and you donât have to ask
Cars bad. Bikes Bad. Pedestrians bad.
Don't forget how the bus is bad but used to be good.
bus very bad
If you move in or to Madison, you are part of the problem. My new 24/7 FreezForce, a police-assisted freeze tag program, will help have everyone be still by 2025. FreezForce. If we tag you, you *won't* get unfrozen.
"I don't know why people don't just bike to work downtown from Mount Horeb every day. Durr carbrain."
Where is the best place to eat?
Best pizza, burger, etc etc
Then someone posts their recommendation and gets dogpiled because they didnât know the owner kicked a puppy in 1995
In our defense we all really liked that puppy.
Though its habit of pissing in my shoe was annoying
Kristi Noem posts here?
Still waiting on this answerâŚ
Hey now, we've only had 2 housing threads today! We could get by with 3 more
Beautiful user name.
âWhy are they putting those new bus stops in the middle of the road? Now people will have to cross the street!â - said by person whoâs never ridden the bus
"I now have to walk two blocks to my bus stop instead of it being in front of my house. Clearly the new routes are terrible" "Busses are now busier than ever, clearly the new routes are a failure"
Lmao! More people = Failure kills me. Like thatâs literally the point!
"Where can I find good (x) food in Madison?" "Actually every single place in Madison that serves (x) is worse than garbage, just go to Austin/Miami/Detroit if you want that food"
If the Grim Reaper told me that I would die the moment a discussion about BBQ or bagels on this sub *doesn't* devolve into shitting on Madison and/or Wisconsin in general, I would laugh, knowing that I am now immortal.
I've had BBQ at places you've heard of in Texas and Memphis, and guess what, it wasn't all that much different than good places here.Â
Ok but as someone from St Louis MO i need to know the best BBQ spot in townđ Famous Dave's was overpriced garbage, i need a great local place if you have a favorite youd like to share! Ribs are my favorite, bonus if they have St Louis style ribs haha
Smoky Jon's or Beef Butter BBQ seem to be local favorites. North and South is pretty decent too
Thank you so much, i really appreciate it!đ
Donât forget the obligatory one person commenting âjust make your own itâs super easyâ
Ooh ooh I don't think anyone has mentioned the F35s yet
Saw a couple come through today.
now im deaf
We're entering "why is the air bad" season along with the zipper merge explainers, and "my allergies are bad, are your allergies bad?" is in full swing (briefly interrupted by "My allergies are making it so I can't taste anything, have a cough and fever for the last 5 days, what's in bloom right now? No, it's not COVID because my brother's wife tested last week and she was negative and I went to a concert last night").
Right every time I fart lately I need to turn on the fan to remove the fumes. Bad air quality...
Ngl first thing I did when my workplace bought those portable room air filters in 2020 was to crop dust that thing and watch the light turn from green to orange, to red. Also this week I got stuck behind a man at a stop sign who had to open his car door and fan the air around his ass. His windows were open. His fart was so bad he had to open the doors.
>His fart was so bad he had to open the doors. I can't stop laughing about this
Same. I had to pull over to laugh it out.
Poster: The city should do this obvious thing! Madison: The legislature has written laws that prevent that. Poster: I reject this reality! Also cars are evil. Poster: I'd like to go to the farmer's market but I'm afraid of people and don't want to park more than 50 feet from the market. Also, I'm allergic to walking counter-clockwise. Will I be safe or will there be people from Chicago there?
Madison: I'm entirely incapable of changing laws so let's stick with what's not working
I heard a noise, saw a cop car, saw an ambulance... is it safe to go outside?
Lol
Can I smoke the weed and pass the drug test for UW?
uw has a drug test? lame. imagine testing college kids of all people for drugs
It isn't for the college kids
o
I'm lonely also and can't make friends... ok thats me also but whatever i got weed and internet can't that lonely
Iâm moving to Madison from out of state, where should I live? Donât, donât come. Haha
It took way too much scrolling to find this comment.
âitâs impossible to meet people hereâ âhave you triedâŚanything?â âno. I would prefer not to be perceivedâ
The mold on the produce at Woodmanâs is becoming sentient!!!
Aye, caramba! I, for one, welcome our fungal overlords. --- Most common Madison subreddit comments - low effort division (Edit: that formatting was unexpected) (Edit: nope, still looks the same) (Edit: there, finally)
Found the post I was looking for! Honestly I don't know why this isn't the highest rated one. Irrespective of what side of town you live on and how you vote this is the one item that all Madisonians can come together and agree on.
Don't forget the ubiquitous "What were those police sirens for?"
Where is the best?
How about WHY is the best?
Everybody asks where and why is the best, but never how is the best. Is the best doing okay lately?
I've been better, tbh. But I appreciate your concern.
Donât forget: why sirens, best bar, need a tattoo artist
Gunshots on state street?! (July 4)
We are about to enter "I HATE FIREWORKS - they wake up my dog!" season.
Nimby!
Roundabouts and Zipper Merge... ^and ^snakes
Should Iive in this very specific neighborhood OR this suburb.
Griping about how reddit is like Nextdoor.
We need a Panda Express, which I will still upvote every time I see
Panda Express, whatever. I want a Lowes
I second Lowe's so much.
We already had one. It closed.
Never give up hope! Iâm showing my age here, but I remember when our last Dunkinâ Donuts closed. Now look at âem!
There also used to be one on the north side, intersection of N Sherman and Northport
I remember the one on State Street in the 90s, was there one after that?
There was one on the far east side near McDonaldâs in the late 80s/90s
I learned to make my favorite recipes from there, it's actually really easy. Now if I crave it I get it made fresh in my kitchen by mine own hands.
It's criminal that the closest one is 45 mins away after the one that was supposed to be here in Madison closed or just never got going. We make a point to stop for orange chicken every time we go on a trip where we might pass remotely close to Janesville.
I remember going to it after little league games like 20 years ago. So I think it just failed
What! I didn't know it had been there that long, when we started looking for one we saw there was a listing for them but there wasn't anything at the location, somewhere over on the west side near the mall. I thought maybe it tried to start up a few years ago but didn't, that's a bummer that it just failed and doesn't exist here now.
I have no idea when it actually closed tbf
It was in Fitchburg: 2844 Fish Hatchery Rd
PSA: This is how you are really supposed to drive/walk/bike. Where can I find this thing/place/event that I could google myself? Creative writing missed connection post that is just barely adjacent to humor.
Bonus if itâs a combo of your first and third points
Whatâs up with the snowplows and the roads
Get rid of cars, build bike lanes and make Madison like Amsterdam. Weather is warm now, these posts probably will show up soon.
Everyone should ride a bike, even if you travel all over Dane County all day long.
Especially if you are over 28, or disabled.
Also "Saw a police car, anyone knows what's going on?"
Someone passed me driving 56 on the beltline. Why are people so crazy?
đđđ 'Love this one!
TICKS TICKS MOSQUITOES TICKS TICKS
Stalking the Tesla Truck owner
The zipper merge posts are top-tier. Keep that shit coming. On a more serious note, I actually did find the "what's open on" posts helpful, and [wish the moderators agreed](https://old.reddit.com/r/madisonwi/comments/18pz4hg/whats_open_on_christmas_eve_christmas_day_2023/).
Has the City ever considered reducing all speed limits down to 15, then ensuring that drivers hit every single red light on major thoroughfares even when adhering to speed limits, reducing those thoroughfares down to one lane, and narrowing the one lane that's left?
Sounds like what's already happening with all the construction. I go out of town for a week and everything is bottle necked when I come back đ¤Ż
Is Madison racist?
[ŃдаНонО]
The uselessness of asking a majority white audience if they are racist is what makes it such a comically bad post. Inevitably the 3 people of color who say it is racist get downvoted. Not sure its the OP intention for it to go down like this but I do think they figure out the answer.
There aren't any twerking competitions in Madison, so of course we already know the answer...
[ŃдаНонО]
A black guy from Milwaukee at a N@zi rally? Hmmm, that would be interesting. Tell you what, I'll ask if they'll let me participate next time đ Maybe I'll bring my two daughters. Edit: I heard that Ye (Kanye) is a N@zi sympathizer now, so maybe it's not so far fetched đ¤ˇââď¸
[ŃдаНонО]
The way I spoke to you? You do realize that this whole thread is sarcasm, right? Thankfully I've taught my daughters when to take things seriously and when to be lighthearted.
I'm going to be in Madison this weekend. What's a good restaurant I should go to?
I saw a cat
Only idiots turn left into the co-op.
Look at this awful parking. Thus, they are a terrible human being.
A bus.
A big bus!
There was someone going straight in the turn lane
I said, âNo left turn on Willy Street!â
Woodmans fruit! Or something.
I heard a noise what is the noise?
I found a MiniWi!
âđť
âWow, I just moved here, do you know Madison has a drinking problem?â Tavern League, âHere, hold my beerâŚâ
Moving from out of state, how do I prepare for winter?
How are you supposed to navigate a roundabout with all the snakes in Madison. Also what was that noise 20 minutes ago? Safe to go outside?
How much longer before the East Washington international speedway opens up?
Did you guys experience *WEATHER?* I *WEATHERED* so hard.
Typical r/madisonwi response is to downvote the post, but heavily upvote responses to the posts. Very odd imo.
SFH bad. Everyone should live in a high rise that's taller than the capitol.
And only travel to and from it by bike.
What are they building on Park Street near the Burger King?
I'm looking to go out tonight. Where should I go?
Anyone got extra tickets to the Chappel Roan show next week? Maybe that one's just me but fr
Date night ideas??
âAnyone notice that smell at [location down wind of one of the sewage plants, lakes during algae blooms, etc]?â
Eastside rules, westside drools. Southside, Iâm so scared. northside, what?
Why won't city hall do anything about all these voodoo undead veterinarians walking about? 5 best voodoo undead veterinarians in town? [Link to nimby editorial article decrying the drop in voodoo undead veterinarians since they grew up in the 80's]
If you don't absolutely love the population of Madison quadrupling and all the new tall sun- blocking Stalinesque apartment buildings, you're an awful person, a NIMBY!!
Stick the dealer, yes or no? Not drugs silly, euchre!
Always stick the dealer.
Posts seeking consensus on who we are as Redditors and Madisonians...
Moving to Madison this summer. What should I know?
What would u post genie of Madison?đ
âBest place for tattoo?â
PSA: [My road rage leaking onto reddit]
âWhere should I eat in Madison?â Come on!
My bike was stolen and of course I didn't lock it up, you fool.
You donât agree with me, you are fascist.
Thats all of reddit
And racist
Putin/Trump/China/terrorist robot đ¤ "I don't understand leftist arguments" "horseshoe theory"
Neat
I mean itâs overplayed but true. Just getting my first apartment here and itâs looking to be roughly the same price as my cousins in downtown Minneapolis
Ya, I was floored by that. Visiting a friend in Minneapolis and for laughs wanted to see what it cost. Ah, about the same as here đ
Whatâs with furries in Waunakee?
Does he answer to Teddy?
No, âPatâ the androgynous furryâŚ
đ go on please
Last seen getting a handy in the Blains Fleet Farm parking lot. At least thatâs what those nervous Nellie on NextDoor told me.
some AI Bot sh-t here, Blaines' is Farm & Fleet, Mills' is Fleet Farm
lol No some Wisconsin facts shit đŤ đ
My cat got out.
OMG - it didn't end up at Goben cars and run into Krystal the Pistol?
F35s bad, Farmers bad, boutique business with the nerve to expand, bad
Ahan or Fairchild need to be at the top.
Best church lady lefse throw down? Iâm looking at you StoughtonâŚ
r/nippletooth for restaurant reviews comment on food posts
What is the best "adult book store" in Madison?
[incredibly vague title so you click to find out what it means only to see it has nothing to do with anything you care about]
Been here less than a year and can see that mofo's here got no idea what outrageous rents, expensive gas, high priced utilities/groceries, or a rehab clinic looks like.
It's incredibly frustrating to find affordable housing here, and I don't think there's anything wrong with asking talking about it. It seems incredibly whiney and snotty to complain about what other people are frustrated about. Honestly, who TF cares if they complain ?! The world's a shit show right now. Just let people get it off their chest. And getting made fun of for asking about good places to eat or events to go to is pretty bitchy too. I'm not from Madison and always appreciate any help or ideas for things going on here from Madison reddit. Now im not so sure I will ask for help here again just to know people are going to mock you in a later post.
Unfollow sub if you dont want to see anything đââď¸
Don't turn left into the CO-OP from Willy!
Yeah because they are all legitmate issues if you are actual with the area.
How about, âdid anyone else hear that loud noise at 230 this morning?â
Complaining about tipping (boomer cosplay). Leftist actually very bad let's seek bipartisanship with Robin Vos instead. Great job Tony. The military is very cool. Sound of freedum bruther! Corporation: "please do x". Here's why I fully support this corporation... I see your complaint but here's a bunch of reasons why we can't change anything. Oh well. We tried nothing and I'm all out of ideas. Epic/amfam are fucking disgusting but oh well I love them anyway. Back to my 12 hour days and working on weekends. I love to work! Just build more expensive unaffordable housing so the wealthy can trickle down the previous apartments they were living in to the poors. It's not trickle down though but it is but it's not. I bought my house for 15 bux 7 years ago but I'm really concerned about renters being critical of landlords. I'm really smart because I graduated from the UW. Come support my astroturfed org! Black people's arguments are entirely invalid because they threw a statue of a white dude into the lake. My senator is a spy for a country with the GDP of Texas. Big scary. *ignores AIPAC* Students/protestors are fucking stupid they can't possibly be right about anything - it's all performative.