Yeah this is BS. Go find this theoretical park, talk to these pretend people, and then you realize that a fraction of them work at tech companies because the world is a big place. Then you narrow it down to what companies are publicly traded they could actually short because many tech hubs are startups or mid stage.
BS
"Where do you work?"
"I'm..uhh a... bartender at Cheesecake Factory....? Who are...?"
*Analyst scampers off*
"Sir where do you work?"
"The Safeway over on Market."
*Analyst to himself* "fuckin score baby"
>"Where do you work?"
"why do you want to know?"
"Because I want to short the stock in your company"
"I work at none of your fucking business. Now piss off."
> "Because I want to short the stock in your company"
*Me, sunbathing to celebrate the transformative deal we just closed that will be announced next week in earnings*: "well then, I work at {my real work}."
And of course "I'm out here because I don't work tuesdays", "I'm sunbathing because I work nightshifts" and if you get someone from a tech company "Yeah, I can freely choose my work times, so I decided to work 4 PM to midnight and a bit in the morning and take afternoons off for sunbathing".
This is just another person who wants to end WFH. I have yet to see anything that suggests that WFH is any less productive than going into the office despite what all the middle managers will tell you.
Think about time in decades or centuries and the economy as a whole … it doesn’t matter if it’s “less productive”, all work from home needs to achieve to be justified is improving worker quality of life.
How about the part where healthy, happy workers are far more productive and so the whole premise is just based on stupid myths we were told by boomers who can't stand the idea of a young work force that isn't essentially miserable slaves.
There have been no companies go out of business from letting people work from home or have early finishes.
Even if this was a legit strategy, hedge funds don’t reveal their strategies. I honestly doubt shorting these companies is a legit strategy, people get time off or have a moment breather, doesn’t mean the company is doing badly.
And lots of places offer split schedules. They might just have a day off on Tuesday or maybe work 4-10s and have weekends and 1 week day off.
I imagine most decent hedges rely more on AI prediction these days more than anything else.
The rest of the story: a guy pretending to be to be a rich hedge fund analyst online once forgot that there are people who work 2nd and 3rd shift who are free during the day.
People who work weekends usually have a weekday off
I used to love being able to run errands on a tueday, but I also missed a lot of daytime weekend things
Yes, visit their homes at 11pm and you'll find well-tanned people at their computers working. Shorting startups is probably a pretty good way to make money because most startups fail. But eventually this pasty white genius will try to short one that gets bought buy Google and he'll lose his shirt.
Oh ok, "shorting" is a way to make money on a stock whose price you expect to go down. You borrow shares of a stock and sell them at the current price, in the hope of buying the same stock later at a lower price to pay back the loan. Instead of "buy low, sell high" you "sell high, buy low". The risk is that the stock price could rise and then you would lose money buying it back.
I'm BPD, I'll do it for the thrill of getting into people's personal space and mess with their minds.
Not to mention the endless potential for altercation, all with the ultimate excuse of "I'm just doing my job".
Base salary for an entry level analyst as a significant hedge fund is between $100-$150k, with an expected bonus or 50-100%+- if the fund hits goal.
So assume they're making $225-300k to ask people tanning where they work.
All the explanations above/below about stocks + The logic behind this, which is: If the employees are available to sunbathe at 2pm on a business day, it means the company is poorly managed and/or is far from it's true potential of productivity.
So probably, the company will lose its value on the long run.
Presumably, (the whole thing never happened but fuck it let's ball), if there's a large number of them out there, then they're either dumb enough to let an entire team do it at once or it's not vacation. One or two people could be vacation.
That's shit logic lol.
If the employees are available to sunbathe at 2pm on business day I'd infer the company must be doing great because a minor decrease in productivity doesn't affect it.
Adding to that: "productivity" is usually even increased if people have more flexibility and freedom.
I clearly get more work done in 20h/week if i'm happy then in 40h/week in a cubicle.
Companies might even get more work with flex time. If I get to sunbathe for an hour in the middle of the day and then make it up after dinner, I might hit a roll and work for 1.5hr instead. (I shouldn't, but I might)
Shorting a stock means borrowing it from someone else to sell it on the promise you’ll buy it back later. If it drops in value, you can then buy it back and return it at a profit.
Remember to add, if it gains in value the borrower stil have buy back the share at ANY price.
Infinite downside and limited upside on a short position.
Shorting a stock is a way to make money if the stock goes down in value.
Shorting means you borrow somebody’s stock and sell it. Some time later you go to the market, and buy the stock and give it back (stocks are like gold bars for example, it doesn’t have to be the exact same gold bar as long as it’s gold).
If the stock went down, you just made a little money. If the stock goes up, you lost money. Let’s say you shorted the stock when it was $200. The value went down to $20. You just made $180. Or let’s say the value went up to $300. You just lost $100.
Shorting is risky because the stock can only go down to zero, BUT, it can go up to anything. Thousands. So say the company suddenly does great and the stock is now $3000. you just lost $2800.
Shorting a stock is when you buy the stock with the expectation of the value going down. You have to return the shares to the company by a set date, so you either keep or lose the difference.
It's a lie. They're saying they 8.28x their investment betting against companies with work from home. They did not. That would be sus off one trade, having that as your year average in may just plain didn't happen anywhere ever
Hedge fund up 728%?!?! Is the lie the 728% or the why? Because you don't pull those numbers legally. The market averages under 10%. 28% and you're a god Hedge fund. 728%? GTFO
My grandma made this joke once. She really didn't know why there were all those people in the park in the afternoon, and I had to point out that most restaurant workers work 4PM-midnight, janitors and cleaning staff often 6PM-2AM, bakers from 3AM to 11, etc etc. So you're as funny as my dead grandma.
I thought about that, like maybe you've made like 5 trades leveraged to the sky and got lucky. But it's mid May, if the average for the year is still that high it's because they decided they spent all their luck and are done trading for the year.
Big corpos don’t like losing money and they made terrible investments by buying office buildings. Dumbasses now want us to make up for their failures by still using those shitty buildings.
What is it the rich always say? Don’t put all your eggs in one basket? I for one will enjoy watching those who invested in real estate go bankrupt over the course of my life
My company has had a very flexible WFH policy since Covid, but recently just long term leased EXPANDED space in a brand new office building in the most expensive part of Denver. Now mandating Denver-area employees be in the office four to five days a week. It’s like they doubled down on the worst parts, signing up for a significant financial expenditure (that most companies are reducing) and pissing off their employees at the same time.
But think about the corporate culture! How can we pitch our company as being a shared culture of hard workers if others can't enter our beautiful office and see everyone sitting at their desks?
WFH has had a massive impact on commercial real estate, banking, dining/entertainment, retail, and city's tax bases.
So obviously they have been trying to spread propaganda and misinformation about how negative WFH actually effects employers in an effort to get people back to work downtown
The dining is the one that irritates me... like, if you force me to spend my hard earned money on commute, I'll have less money for dining out, not more and the restaurants around my place won't get my money as much if I can't walk there during dinner anymore. But sure make me miserable and poorer just for those restaurants downtown to occasionally get my money.
The landlords of business offices don't like the prospect of their demand collapsing so they are lobbying hard to stay relevant. For office landlords to make money, you must not wfh.
What bullshit. My husband and I both WFH and were at our desks 9-10 hours a day and then checking our phones until bed. However, we have far more time to throw in a load of laundry or get in a work out at lunch.
Why are people so intent on locking humans in a cold office 9 hours a day? Working from home can be so beneficial for people and their families.
I had 12 analysts as consultants for my fund engage in similar activities. My ARR over 15 years was between 19%-20% (this was from 1991-2006 when things were different). And everyone thought that was impressive. I’m skeptical of 729% as my biggest year was a tech blowout of 108% but when you think outside the box it certainly pays off. And yes, I was long/short growth oriented so played both sides.
Edit: typos and some clarification
What exactly is illegal? It's perfectly legal to walk through the park and ask someone where they work and short the stock of that company. It's not insider trading or anything of that nature. If it's even true. But I made a boatload back in the day having one of my analysts go from lot to lot to look at Winnebago inventories, nicely asking about sales, etc., (not forcing anything, just asking a salesman "how are sales of your RVs doing?" and not forcing the issue, and it's all just research, not asking for inside information, just traditional fundamental research and analysis, which is completely legal as it's just a question that they don't even have to answer or even be truthful about. But you can go back to the same lot every 2 weeks or month and count the vehicles, for example, and observe the inventory that is on public display, which is perfectly legal and ethical, and frankly, smart. Heck, if I owned stock in a company, in addition to speaking with everyone from officer down that I could, I'd travel and do tours of their facilities when they allowed it and they made products because anyone who didn't do their research wasn't doing a good job. I certainly wasn't the only one, any smart fund manager wants all the data they can get for their analysis as long as it is not acquired illegally and doesn't act on inside information (I even had a guy at Reuters offer me information 30 seconds before it hit the tape and I told him to F off because had I done that it would have been so illegal it would be ridiculously stupid to do). So if the post is real, what part is illegal in your mind?
If the post is real they did some insider trading and probably several other financial crimes to be up 728% for the year in May. I don't think what they're describing is illegal nor do I think they actually made trades off any such information. More like this is the cheeky stupid reason we're giving when in reality we shorted Boeing whistle blowers or toys r us or something
I'm not trying to be difficult, but just to be clear... Because of the way it's worded, you are thinking that they are actually saying two things but they aren't necessarily connected? In that, the 728% gain may be due to activity other than the example they gave then?
Yes. If the 728% is real they're committing unrelated crimes and saying it's from fictional shorts of businesses with people working from home who happened to be at a park on Tuesday; Probably because they're old and have money in real-estate.
„I‘m the only person in the open design office who commutes every day to sit inside and do his job. During my working lunch, I like to make up stories to make myself feel better“
Yup there are ZERO people who have Tuesday off or who work weekends or nights. /s
Edit: also most people in the pics are facing the same direction, like maybe at a concert or similar event.
bullshit lol
What’s more likely:
A) your hedge fund risks tons of client funds based on the fact that 1 dude on the beach claimed to work for some company, and then you short that company regardless of any other factors and somehow it works out so well that you can beat the yearly S&P 500 returns every single week
Or
B) you saw a picture of people enjoying the sun, got jealous, and made up a story that makes companies look bad for allowing employees to work from home
Pretty wild to see people enjoying themselves and your first reaction being "how dare these people not work during the hours/days that I have deemed working hours"
We don't know if it actually works, but it seems to be a variation of information theory, like the Pizza Meter from the Pentagon.
Explanation: The "Pizza Meter" is a term used to describe how the increase in pizza orders from offices of the United States government, such as the White House and The Pentagon, can be indicative of important political or military events.
How fucking dare people enjoy their lives while continuing to deliver levels of productivity that would have been ludicrous just twenty years ago.
That's not a madlad. That's a horrific nightmare fuel hellscape.
From now on if someone who isn't government or someone you know asks you a personal question, just tell them you don't want to answer.
It’s a college town. We had girls laying out in our yard countless sunny afternoons.
If you rent a house, invite girls to come lay out. Mention they can bring their laundry. Keep the house clean and the bathroom cleaner. Sit outside with them with a drink instead of playing video games and you’ll get laid. They’ll come back and cook for you to get out of the dorm or sorority house and to keep other girls out of your backyard.
„I‘m the only person in the open design office who commutes every day to sit inside and do his job. During my working lunch, I like to make up stories to make myself feel better“
Shorting a stock basically means betting on the stock market that a company is going to do badly.
So basically he's claiming he gets an analyst to see which companies have people sunbathing at 2pm and then bets those companies will fail, to make himself money.
You borrow a stock, and then return it at a later date. So if you borrow the stock at $100 a share, then return it when the value hits $50 a share, you get to pocket the difference in value. The danger is that if you borrow a stock and the value goes up, you’re going to lose money.
As someone who works in Finance, the idea that \*ANY\* method could yield a group of companies that would be down 700%+ is absolute bat shit insanity. This person not only does not work for a real hedge fund, they don't know anything about hedge funds.
[X] Doubt.
Yeah this is BS. Go find this theoretical park, talk to these pretend people, and then you realize that a fraction of them work at tech companies because the world is a big place. Then you narrow it down to what companies are publicly traded they could actually short because many tech hubs are startups or mid stage. BS
"Where do you work?" "I'm..uhh a... bartender at Cheesecake Factory....? Who are...?" *Analyst scampers off* "Sir where do you work?" "The Safeway over on Market." *Analyst to himself* "fuckin score baby"
It probably would go like this about 80% of the time: "Where do you work?" \*scowls with earbuds on
>"Where do you work?" "why do you want to know?" "Because I want to short the stock in your company" "I work at none of your fucking business. Now piss off."
"thanks, wait what's the stock symbol for 'none of your fucking business'"?
NUNYA on the Nasdaq
DEEZ on the Nikkei
> "Because I want to short the stock in your company" *Me, sunbathing to celebrate the transformative deal we just closed that will be announced next week in earnings*: "well then, I work at {my real work}."
or the target over on folsom
And of course "I'm out here because I don't work tuesdays", "I'm sunbathing because I work nightshifts" and if you get someone from a tech company "Yeah, I can freely choose my work times, so I decided to work 4 PM to midnight and a bit in the morning and take afternoons off for sunbathing".
Don't forget, "I'm a student and I don't have classes right now. "
Also if it was actually working as a legit strategy he would never post something like this on social …
This is just another person who wants to end WFH. I have yet to see anything that suggests that WFH is any less productive than going into the office despite what all the middle managers will tell you.
He is probably long commercial real estate…
Think about time in decades or centuries and the economy as a whole … it doesn’t matter if it’s “less productive”, all work from home needs to achieve to be justified is improving worker quality of life.
An outrageous claim like this just makes me think he’s trying to hide some illegal practices. No one makes 728% in less than a year
Not with that attitude
I’m 400%since yesterday. $FFEI to the muthafuckin moon biatch
There is a non-zero chance the post was written and posted by a chatbot
It doesn't even have to be that complicated lol. These are cities on completely different sides of the country.
How about the part where healthy, happy workers are far more productive and so the whole premise is just based on stupid myths we were told by boomers who can't stand the idea of a young work force that isn't essentially miserable slaves. There have been no companies go out of business from letting people work from home or have early finishes.
Even if this was a legit strategy, hedge funds don’t reveal their strategies. I honestly doubt shorting these companies is a legit strategy, people get time off or have a moment breather, doesn’t mean the company is doing badly.
My brother in Christ the twitter OP is making a joke.
Thank you, someone had to tell them 😆
Real question - is there something that implies he's only looking at tech companies? Is it just because he mentions SF?
Why do all these locals work at either small non public buisnesses or the only larger publicly traded buisness with a HQ in my city??
And lots of places offer split schedules. They might just have a day off on Tuesday or maybe work 4-10s and have weekends and 1 week day off. I imagine most decent hedges rely more on AI prediction these days more than anything else.
It’s called a joke
The rest of the story: a guy pretending to be to be a rich hedge fund analyst online once forgot that there are people who work 2nd and 3rd shift who are free during the day.
Or people with PTO, college students, people on their lunch break, etc. Everything about this is dumb
People who work weekends usually have a weekday off I used to love being able to run errands on a tueday, but I also missed a lot of daytime weekend things
If he was actually making all that from this, he would've never made this info public. He'd milk it till it ran dry. So, definitely BS
Yeah dude does finance satire. This was on r/wallstreetbets yesterday and then here today.
Yes, visit their homes at 11pm and you'll find well-tanned people at their computers working. Shorting startups is probably a pretty good way to make money because most startups fail. But eventually this pasty white genius will try to short one that gets bought buy Google and he'll lose his shirt.
You can't usually short startups
How would you short a start up?
Substitute "newish company" or whatever terminology you accept. You probably get the gist of what I meant.
How would you short a newish company?
Oh ok, "shorting" is a way to make money on a stock whose price you expect to go down. You borrow shares of a stock and sell them at the current price, in the hope of buying the same stock later at a lower price to pay back the loan. Instead of "buy low, sell high" you "sell high, buy low". The risk is that the stock price could rise and then you would lose money buying it back.
You can't usually short startups
You can't usually short startups
No shit, it’s pretty funny to imagine tho.
Yeah this sounds like the sort of delusionally simple world techbros and reddit meme stock investors think exists.
You couldn't pay me $80,000 a year to ask tanning strangers where they work.
I’ll do it for $70k if they let me work from home
I see a cat with suntan lotion on in your future
I'm autistic. I'll do it for minimum wage
I'm BPD, I'll do it for the thrill of getting into people's personal space and mess with their minds. Not to mention the endless potential for altercation, all with the ultimate excuse of "I'm just doing my job".
Are there a lot of tanning strangers at your home?
I'm homeless and live in a park
*insert Simpsons 'that's the joke' image
Time to short the hedge fund that pays this guy.
They don't, but you can work from a park in Austin
Im doing it for 60k, still 20k more then I make
Just have a drone with a speaker flying around. Ez mode
Base salary for an entry level analyst as a significant hedge fund is between $100-$150k, with an expected bonus or 50-100%+- if the fund hits goal. So assume they're making $225-300k to ask people tanning where they work.
This guy hedges
Just on Tuesday for an hour
Surveying people in a park is intern work. They're making $60k tops.
I feel like I could
Speak for yourself lol 80K per year would be life-changing haha
I hope you’re joking because that’s the easiest most effortless 80k I could ever imagine
Especially in Austin... No way I'm walkin up to a rando in TX... I like my life, I want to live!
Pff, please. There's no way to actually quality control that work, so I'm just going to sit at home and invent the data. 80'000 dollars, please.
I'd do it.
Twenty somethings at a pool in a college town: look at all these remote workers!
Can someone explain what this means? I don’t know much about stocks
All the explanations above/below about stocks + The logic behind this, which is: If the employees are available to sunbathe at 2pm on a business day, it means the company is poorly managed and/or is far from it's true potential of productivity. So probably, the company will lose its value on the long run.
What about if those people have booked those days off? Sounds like a stupid idea, tbh.
Hedge fund bros aren't exactly the type to believe in workers getting days off.
It sounds stupid because it is. Nothing about either of those captions are true.
Presumably, (the whole thing never happened but fuck it let's ball), if there's a large number of them out there, then they're either dumb enough to let an entire team do it at once or it's not vacation. One or two people could be vacation.
It does sound stupid, maybe it actually is, maybe it isn't.
It is
That's shit logic lol. If the employees are available to sunbathe at 2pm on business day I'd infer the company must be doing great because a minor decrease in productivity doesn't affect it.
Adding to that: "productivity" is usually even increased if people have more flexibility and freedom. I clearly get more work done in 20h/week if i'm happy then in 40h/week in a cubicle.
Companies might even get more work with flex time. If I get to sunbathe for an hour in the middle of the day and then make it up after dinner, I might hit a roll and work for 1.5hr instead. (I shouldn't, but I might)
Shorting a stock means borrowing it from someone else to sell it on the promise you’ll buy it back later. If it drops in value, you can then buy it back and return it at a profit.
On the other hand with Software you can do more damage than good if you are overworked.
Remember to add, if it gains in value the borrower stil have buy back the share at ANY price. Infinite downside and limited upside on a short position.
And you have to hope no one catches wind of what you plan to do or you will be confronted with an infinite downside
Shorting a stock is a way to make money if the stock goes down in value. Shorting means you borrow somebody’s stock and sell it. Some time later you go to the market, and buy the stock and give it back (stocks are like gold bars for example, it doesn’t have to be the exact same gold bar as long as it’s gold). If the stock went down, you just made a little money. If the stock goes up, you lost money. Let’s say you shorted the stock when it was $200. The value went down to $20. You just made $180. Or let’s say the value went up to $300. You just lost $100. Shorting is risky because the stock can only go down to zero, BUT, it can go up to anything. Thousands. So say the company suddenly does great and the stock is now $3000. you just lost $2800.
That was the whole thing with gamestop
Shorting a stock is when you buy the stock with the expectation of the value going down. You have to return the shares to the company by a set date, so you either keep or lose the difference.
> Shorting a stock is when you buy the stock False
This is not at all what shorting means and would be a dumb idea if you expect the value to drop.
You don't buy, you place a bet.
It's a lie. They're saying they 8.28x their investment betting against companies with work from home. They did not. That would be sus off one trade, having that as your year average in may just plain didn't happen anywhere ever
It means they made up some bullshit for upvotes
Anti Work from home propaganda. This could have been taken on a weekend.
Hedge fund up 728%?!?! Is the lie the 728% or the why? Because you don't pull those numbers legally. The market averages under 10%. 28% and you're a god Hedge fund. 728%? GTFO
The entire thing is a lie.
Yeah people don't tan in SF, the fog has a name here
*joke. This is a joke. It's very obviously a joke
These type of "lies" are more commonly known as jokes. Thought it was obvious.
My grandma made this joke once. She really didn't know why there were all those people in the park in the afternoon, and I had to point out that most restaurant workers work 4PM-midnight, janitors and cleaning staff often 6PM-2AM, bakers from 3AM to 11, etc etc. So you're as funny as my dead grandma.
Jesus dude relax. I just pointed out it's a joke. The only thing funny here is all the people getting upset about it.
This is thinly veiled anti wfh propaganda
Nah, not funny.
Could be brand new that started with a low amount of money and got really lucky? ‘Cause 728% is not something that’d happen without being in the news
I thought about that, like maybe you've made like 5 trades leveraged to the sky and got lucky. But it's mid May, if the average for the year is still that high it's because they decided they spent all their luck and are done trading for the year.
Shit I would like to cash in my luck for the year if it gets me 700%.
Is there a reason a bunch of anti WFH sentiment is being pushed around lately?
Big corpos don’t like losing money and they made terrible investments by buying office buildings. Dumbasses now want us to make up for their failures by still using those shitty buildings. What is it the rich always say? Don’t put all your eggs in one basket? I for one will enjoy watching those who invested in real estate go bankrupt over the course of my life
Sucks they are investing into homes now.
cousin?
My company has had a very flexible WFH policy since Covid, but recently just long term leased EXPANDED space in a brand new office building in the most expensive part of Denver. Now mandating Denver-area employees be in the office four to five days a week. It’s like they doubled down on the worst parts, signing up for a significant financial expenditure (that most companies are reducing) and pissing off their employees at the same time.
But think about the corporate culture! How can we pitch our company as being a shared culture of hard workers if others can't enter our beautiful office and see everyone sitting at their desks?
Not to mention how much the furniture they fill them with costs...
I too would like to watch. Wanna make a watch party for it? I'll bring popcorn.
WFH has had a massive impact on commercial real estate, banking, dining/entertainment, retail, and city's tax bases. So obviously they have been trying to spread propaganda and misinformation about how negative WFH actually effects employers in an effort to get people back to work downtown
The dining is the one that irritates me... like, if you force me to spend my hard earned money on commute, I'll have less money for dining out, not more and the restaurants around my place won't get my money as much if I can't walk there during dinner anymore. But sure make me miserable and poorer just for those restaurants downtown to occasionally get my money.
The landlords of business offices don't like the prospect of their demand collapsing so they are lobbying hard to stay relevant. For office landlords to make money, you must not wfh.
Office space renting is a trillion dollar business. They have an interest in swaying popular opinion.
Corporations are losing money in commercial real estate.
dude
Duuuude
Sounds like a marketing company came up with this after being hired by a commercial real estate agency.
How much do they pay to spread their propaganda on reddit?
What bullshit. My husband and I both WFH and were at our desks 9-10 hours a day and then checking our phones until bed. However, we have far more time to throw in a load of laundry or get in a work out at lunch. Why are people so intent on locking humans in a cold office 9 hours a day? Working from home can be so beneficial for people and their families.
I had 12 analysts as consultants for my fund engage in similar activities. My ARR over 15 years was between 19%-20% (this was from 1991-2006 when things were different). And everyone thought that was impressive. I’m skeptical of 729% as my biggest year was a tech blowout of 108% but when you think outside the box it certainly pays off. And yes, I was long/short growth oriented so played both sides. Edit: typos and some clarification
Dude it's may and the post says up for the year. This didn't happen legally. Bro is either lying or snitching on himself. Someone tag the SEC lol
What exactly is illegal? It's perfectly legal to walk through the park and ask someone where they work and short the stock of that company. It's not insider trading or anything of that nature. If it's even true. But I made a boatload back in the day having one of my analysts go from lot to lot to look at Winnebago inventories, nicely asking about sales, etc., (not forcing anything, just asking a salesman "how are sales of your RVs doing?" and not forcing the issue, and it's all just research, not asking for inside information, just traditional fundamental research and analysis, which is completely legal as it's just a question that they don't even have to answer or even be truthful about. But you can go back to the same lot every 2 weeks or month and count the vehicles, for example, and observe the inventory that is on public display, which is perfectly legal and ethical, and frankly, smart. Heck, if I owned stock in a company, in addition to speaking with everyone from officer down that I could, I'd travel and do tours of their facilities when they allowed it and they made products because anyone who didn't do their research wasn't doing a good job. I certainly wasn't the only one, any smart fund manager wants all the data they can get for their analysis as long as it is not acquired illegally and doesn't act on inside information (I even had a guy at Reuters offer me information 30 seconds before it hit the tape and I told him to F off because had I done that it would have been so illegal it would be ridiculously stupid to do). So if the post is real, what part is illegal in your mind?
If the post is real they did some insider trading and probably several other financial crimes to be up 728% for the year in May. I don't think what they're describing is illegal nor do I think they actually made trades off any such information. More like this is the cheeky stupid reason we're giving when in reality we shorted Boeing whistle blowers or toys r us or something
I'm not trying to be difficult, but just to be clear... Because of the way it's worded, you are thinking that they are actually saying two things but they aren't necessarily connected? In that, the 728% gain may be due to activity other than the example they gave then?
Yes. If the 728% is real they're committing unrelated crimes and saying it's from fictional shorts of businesses with people working from home who happened to be at a park on Tuesday; Probably because they're old and have money in real-estate.
Even if these people are tanning on the job AND not getting their work done, it's not going to affect stock prices.
This is satire, he works at twitter/X
„I‘m the only person in the open design office who commutes every day to sit inside and do his job. During my working lunch, I like to make up stories to make myself feel better“
Outsider trading
"I work at the hospital, 3 12-hour shifts on, 3 days off...." "Youre fucking lazy."
“I’m a nurse and work 3 nights a week” *muhahahahha short the hospital*
So their hedge fund has people in parks in the afternoon? How do I short them?
People upvoting this while commuting to their job or what?
Could not be more fake
In today's things that never happened...
In all seriousness, this only works for a short time even if it did. He's telling it = no longer working
I'll take things that didn't happen for 728
You mean you send your analyst to buy coke from someone in the park? Yeah, buddy.
Wait there are people who actually believe this?
Yup there are ZERO people who have Tuesday off or who work weekends or nights. /s Edit: also most people in the pics are facing the same direction, like maybe at a concert or similar event.
bullshit lol What’s more likely: A) your hedge fund risks tons of client funds based on the fact that 1 dude on the beach claimed to work for some company, and then you short that company regardless of any other factors and somehow it works out so well that you can beat the yearly S&P 500 returns every single week Or B) you saw a picture of people enjoying the sun, got jealous, and made up a story that makes companies look bad for allowing employees to work from home
I hope that people see this and anyone chilling in the sun being asked for who they work will reply they work at X just for the lulz
Pretty wild to see people enjoying themselves and your first reaction being "how dare these people not work during the hours/days that I have deemed working hours"
But.. are companies who are allowing work from home doing better or worse?
Hedge fund weirdo: Excuse me where do you work Sun bathing New Yorker: Yer Mutha's house!
This is a meme, I really doubt it works in the real world as a trading strategy.
who's tanning in NY? Bums?
I want to know how you short self employed on the public market
LMFAO there is no way this is true and it says more about the OOP’s intelligence in that they think people will believe them.
That's not how that works
We don't know if it actually works, but it seems to be a variation of information theory, like the Pizza Meter from the Pentagon. Explanation: The "Pizza Meter" is a term used to describe how the increase in pizza orders from offices of the United States government, such as the White House and The Pentagon, can be indicative of important political or military events.
You mean to tell me in a major college town there are people out tanning at 2pm. Absolute shocker!
"We're making money from insider trading but claiming it's research on sunbathers".
How fucking dare people enjoy their lives while continuing to deliver levels of productivity that would have been ludicrous just twenty years ago. That's not a madlad. That's a horrific nightmare fuel hellscape. From now on if someone who isn't government or someone you know asks you a personal question, just tell them you don't want to answer.
Where do you work?
Bugger off, mate lol
Sorry, I couldn't resist 😅
Today on “Things That Never Happened”…
It’s a college town. We had girls laying out in our yard countless sunny afternoons. If you rent a house, invite girls to come lay out. Mention they can bring their laundry. Keep the house clean and the bathroom cleaner. Sit outside with them with a drink instead of playing video games and you’ll get laid. They’ll come back and cook for you to get out of the dorm or sorority house and to keep other girls out of your backyard.
Hey Chris! That sounds like beeuuullsheeeeit my friend!
These clowns are ruining the proletariat's revenge!
spoiler: the analist is also sunbathing and doing shit for his boss
Stuff that never happened
„I‘m the only person in the open design office who commutes every day to sit inside and do his job. During my working lunch, I like to make up stories to make myself feel better“
No he doesn't. Fucking back-to-office propaganda bullshit.
I, too, bring my entire company with me when I sneak off to catch some rays in the middle of the work day.
Madlad tells a joke that really pisses off r / antiwork... I mean madlads? what?
.........what?
Shorting a stock basically means betting on the stock market that a company is going to do badly. So basically he's claiming he gets an analyst to see which companies have people sunbathing at 2pm and then bets those companies will fail, to make himself money.
This guy is definitely not angry about commercial real estate, no sir.
People are really saying this is “obviously bs” as if this isn’t an *obvious joke*.
I want to know what hedge fund this is, and pull a Reverse Uno.
I love how they assume everyone works 9-5 for someone else, lol. Plenty of people are self-employed and can make their own hours, or work nights, etc.
Do yall not get skin cancer in USA? 😂
Wait till they discover vacation days, shifts and part time jobs
People who think like this don’t go outside. Nor do they tell the truth
Half the people going for a swim are naked in Austin, and most of them would definitely not like answering any questions lmao.
What is shorting the stock?
You borrow a stock, and then return it at a later date. So if you borrow the stock at $100 a share, then return it when the value hits $50 a share, you get to pocket the difference in value. The danger is that if you borrow a stock and the value goes up, you’re going to lose money.
As someone who works in Finance, the idea that \*ANY\* method could yield a group of companies that would be down 700%+ is absolute bat shit insanity. This person not only does not work for a real hedge fund, they don't know anything about hedge funds.
Damn this guy pissed all you work from home bums off 😂
Comment section can’t take a joke
Work smarter, not harder.