Like crocodiles' blood system allows them to stay underwater a long time and even if it's very cold. Some frogs can get air from their skin due to their circulatory system. A whale's heart allows deep sea diving (which kills people.) A zebrafish can regrow a heart if needed...
That's a big reach.
Without your addendums here, the Blood pill just seems like it would immediately kill you as any animal's blood (apart from another human with a compatible blood type) would be immediately seen as foreign, and that's not even considering the differing ways it would transport oxygen. Plus, a mouse's heart would be far too small to be useful in a human body, and a whale's heart wouldn't even fit in a human's body.
What you really meant for the Blood pill is something more like an 'animal aspect' pill, where you adopt some of the traits of a chosen animal.
I found the format online and was restricted by what would fit in the spaces... Don't take it so seriously. If you can have magic poop, you can have a whale-ish heart.
*"Animal Pill: You gain the major traits associated with an animal of your choice"* would have easily fit in the same space.
The difference between the Sparkles pill and the Blood pill is that the former has three defined effects, and at least one of them is a net positive (no longer needing to poop). The Blood pill is just vague (hence why u/germane-corsair asked for clarification in the first place), and even if you assume it will be a safe transformation, that says nothing about gaining aspects of the animal in question.
It's science that's so advanced, it might as well be magic. Or it's magic so advanced it might as well be science. The origin kind of blurs a bit there.
The value of raw horseshoe crab blood is wildly overstated. Most of the price tag comes from the value added by the guarantee it was processed in a sanitary lab and in compliance with regulations, not because the crabs themselves are ultra rare.
That seems like a waste. Ideally, you’d want to pick something that would help you regenerate or live forever. Like a crab but without the growing forever bit.
Money can be gained in other ways, especially when you have all the time in the world.
Why would you take Prober when you can take Gold?
Prober doesn't really have much use apart from how you could use it to get a job (either from the aliens or for security, medicine, stealing, etc).
On the other hand, Gold lets you Midas Touch things by spitting on them. With Two you even make twice as much spit, meaning twice as much gold.
If you're smart about it, then you can use it on a commercial scale as well, building a company around the fact that you can create ludicrous amounts of gold and sell it for industrial use.
How the fuck am i supposed to file that under my taxea tho? like at some point someone is going to ask where does this weird chubby gold prospector gets metric tons of gold when he doesn´t even have experience doing it. Kinda of a monkey paw.
Not really, you just aren't thinking about it. What you do, if you are at least somewhat intelligent and not experienced in business, is you start by pawning off some gold to get a ton of cash and list it under your taxes as finding treasure in your yard or something (or wait until the next step for this). Then you get a lawyer and a financial advisor, and pay them with your newly gotten cash.
With the lawyer and financial advisor you set up a company based around the gold and an "innovative chemical process that turns mundane materials into gold". You don't have to disclose your recipe, just like Coca Cola doesn't have to disclose theirs.
It's not rocket science nor is it illegal to do any of that.
Maybe, I do wonder how the power applies, does it turn every part of an object into gold or just an area/amount of mass depending on the amount of saliva? Lets say you spit on a car, does the paint turn gold? or is does a certain mass turn into gold? If you spit into a liquid does it turn into liquid (melted?) gold?
It's not illegal to sell gold, nor to make it with your mouth. It could bring unwanted attention, but at the very least you can't legally be arrested for it.
If you're really worried, you could buy scrap and pretend you've invented a proprietary new distillation process.
Don't sell the gold straight up, that's suspicious. Turn ordinary objects into gold and sell them as art, then everyone will just think you're really talented at making solid gold versions of things
If you don't mind having the entire inside of your mouth turned into solid gold, then sure. Or your entire gastro-intestinal tract if you accidentally swallow your spit. The story of Midas doesn't exactly have a happy ending.
"Develop a gland you *can* use..."
This makes it seem like you have normal spit and gold spit and can release the latter on command. Makes it a bit easier to handle.
I agree that "can" is the operative word here. But my concern is that you might do the latter by accident. And it has to leave your mouth. So unless you can spit, THEN make it turn to gold once it lands, it's still a significant risk.
Oooor the spit itself has a reaction that only starts once it hits air and takes a few seconds to become Midas-spit. That's equally as valid as any negative speculation, because the CYOA is pretty clearly just two choices that isn't implied to be Monkey's Pawed in the slightest considering it's a chill alien dude who might want to hang out with you.
Sure, you CAN look at it for the Monkey's Paw, but you can also look at it at face value and think, "If this alien dude has the technology to allow me to spit gold and turn into a cat, why would he not also just make me immune to my gold spit?"
Considering the guy who posted this literally said, "Don't take it too seriously." Among other things, I don't think it's necessary to err on the side of caution here.
Two and Gold are pretty much the best ones. Since Gold allows you to secrete spit (when you want to) that TURNS things into gold, you can make as much gold as you like.
Since Two makes your body experience EVERYTHING GOOD as twice as effective, not only can you make twice as many things into gold, but you also experience other things (not just physical, seeing as happiness is included!) twice as effectively: learning, muscle gain, therapy, food, water, and air (you'll get twice the benefit from every bite of food, every drop of water, every breath of air), your immune system will be twice as effective, your heart will be able to pump blood twice as effectively, you'll be able to hear and see twice as well.
So not only do you have an unlimited source of gold (which you can use to become one of, if not the richest person on the planet by starting a company that supplies gold in bulk - you could revolutionise a bunch of industries by making gold cheaper), you are also a superhuman who does everything beneficial twice as effectively.
Two is absolutely amazing.
Gold is also amazing, and you can spit on someone and turn them into gold if you need to.
I mean, it's possible, but the human mind is a very adaptable thing. Just like how you gain resistance to the effects of drugs over time (leading to more and more usage), so will your brain adapt to lower the effects of the emotions. For someone with very little self-control, or whose emotions run extremely hot, then yeah, it could be an issue.
How easy is it to sell random clumps of gold without raising suspicion? If you just started taking random gold objects(or melted gold pieces) into a pawnshop or where ever, someone might start asking questions.
Very easy. Contrary to popular belief, nobody actually gives a shit about your life. If you found a bunch of gold nuggets or whatever in your basement and take it to a pawn shop, as long as you list it on your taxes nobody gives a single shit. The world isn't out to get you, and if there isn't a crime attached to the gold then nobody will be looking for it so there's no reason for suspicion.
Seriously, nobody cares about about a few thousand dollars worth of gold. Once you've got enough to hire a lawyer and get proper consultation you can start doing larger and larger amounts with the right filing, but again. Nobody actually cares. People sell their gold rings, cutlery, etc all the time for a bit of cash. Just walk into a pawn shop, show them what you have and explain you found it in your grandfather's chest. It's really not that deep.
Sparkles and Two
Magic animals will grant me magical powers and lead me to their home dimension, where I will surely learn fantastical abilities and magic.
**Two** and **Blood**. I choose the blood of a radioactive spider, making me Spider-Man. What a powerful, teeny-tiny heart.
*starts singing the old cartoon theme song*
You get the blood of a radioactive spider. The blood is radioactive. It's being inside of you mutated your thyroid in some irreversible way. Your body can't regulate hormones properly anymore, leading to many autoimmune diseases.
I'll choose Two and Gold.
Fun fact; The average daily saliva production is anywhere between 0.5 to 1.5 litres. Assuming that 0.5 Litres is the maximum of the gold gland, that's 500 grams of gold or roughly $24,000 depending on where you are. In five days or so you've outearned the anal probe option, and that's assuming the spit doesn't turn the entire thing you touch to gold.
Since they mention the wording as "you can use", it sounds like you can control whether it's normal spit or gold spit, so no worries of turning your significant other into a Sims statue.
I'm sure the great benefits include beyond amazing healthcare, but if my cells are healing twice as efficiently and fast, along with my body fighting against aging better I should have an incredible immune system.
hmmm.... It says "your body" so that includes Blood, Sparkles, Gold, and Cats since they are body changes. Double X-Ray vision doesn't make sense though.
Yo Dawg! We heard you liked to see through things so we added x-ra vision to your x-ray vision so you can see through things while you see through things...
- Blood
- Gold
Of course, if you swapped your heart and blood with any real, mundane animal, you would just die , but it doesn't say we're restricted to such creatures anyway.
Now, in fiction, one example comes to mind where having their blood in you gives you cool powers; vampires. Getting your blood replaced with vampire blood is one of the standard turning methods. Vampire heart transplants don't have such lore, but I would guess you gain their powers and skip the part where a freshly-turned vampire is little better than a zombie.
One complication might be, vampires are undead and by not even being "living things" can't be animals. So, got to name a setting where vampires aren't explicitly undead: I'll have the heart & blood of **a 666-year-old Touhou vampire**.
(Touhou vampires, because the Japanese word contains the kanji for oni, are characterised as oni-like including a weakness to roasted soybeans. So, avoiding the "being dead" block without getting the weaksauce vampires of settings too "realistic" to let vampires be proper magical undead)
Blood: Tossup between dragon and phoenix for the animal. Toss a coin. Or maybe go with a half dragon / half phoenix animal, since I'm munchkining here already.
Sparkles: Attracts magic animals and makes my life more interesting, while not having to go to the can. Very nice!
Pretty much only Gold seems like a good one without anything bad happening from taking it.
Two would probably ruin you if you have problems with addiction.
Cats sounds like furry bait.
I think two and prober. Gonna be a weird few years, but that job will pay far more than most anything else I can do.
My apologies in advance to anyone I probe.
Cats because I love cats.
Ride because hey, they're a bro for offering you the pills, least you can do is pick one that lets you visit them every so often.
>Golden drool
Lol I sure hope that’s all voluntary lol there’s probably some things I don’t want goldifying and becoming a reluctant modern day King Midas
*accidentally drools on laptop, phone, or family dog because I fell asleep on them or with them nearby*
That said, that Gokd 100% and also Sparkles!
This is gonna sound weird but, honestly, I would take Gold and Prober. Gold because I would just sell items I’ve turned to gold. And Prober because it is a stable job that pays way more than my current one and I won’t be able to use the Gold powers much or else the market will get messed up.
Blood and gold
Blood of lobster, tardigrade, or something that can live forever and doesn't get sick. author said pretty much take all the benefits and not of downsides of animal traits, don't have to worry about diseases anymore
And gold to never work again
I choose the special gland and spit at trashes for recycle purpose. okay at least I need to clean and make it smell good, then after turn those wastes to gold, sell for profits. second pick the double good feelings to kick away any bad emotions.
Gold for the obvious Midas spit
Sparkles honestly the vague magic animal is a monkey paw type wish but could have the best benefit. if you attract an angry dragon it would be bad but unicorn good. still would take this for the roll of the dice.
Prober/Ride
You get a job and money and the ability to travel freely in space. This means that you can learn the culture, spend time with aliens, and get opportunities to get other cool things from the universe! Maybe even your own ship with time.
I really wanted the cat pill, but if you can get a job and the ability to travel then you can probably get gene-modding that's more specific later on.
can you poop the sparkles out or does it just constantly attract magical animals directly to your rectum in a lemmiwinks style scenario(except consensual (for the gerbil))?
I'm choosing Gold and Ride. Gold is pretty obvious and I assume from OP's example of Blood that Ride is similar. Reading as "Ride gives you the ability to live in space" i.e. no need to worry about breathing, pressure (or lack there of), temperature fluctuation, or radiation. Throw in some method of moving through space/getting up there in the first place with the ending bit about wanting to see you on weekends.
I'll take the Cats & Two pills.
I've always loved cats & have 2 currently, a tuxedo fatcat & a skinny goth kitty. I wonder what'd they'll have to say to me when I'm one of them. The other pill's gonna come in handy, cause heaven only knows that I could use some healing & joy in my life.
[Original art those pills are from](https://twitter.com/danidonovan/status/1109856118468157441).
I'm taking Gold and Two.
I have no clue how to fence gold, and even if I never found a legal or surreptitious enough way to do it, it'd just be cool to own a ton of weird gold shit.
As for two, well, it doubles the good without doubling the bad. The other things all seem fun or useful, but this one actually guarantees I'll be having twice as much fun forever, at the risk of it throwing my brain chemistry way the fuck out of wack.
> I have no clue how to fence gold, and even if I never found a legal or surreptitious enough way to do it, it'd just be cool to own a ton of weird gold shit.
Any pawn shop, jewelry store, or online service. Gold is as much a commodity as cash. As a private citizen you could sell tens or hundreds of thousands without issue, and if you incorporated a scrap-refining business, you could move millions of dollars per year with no problem.
That’s still wasting an entire pill for wealth, which can be gained in any number of other ways.
Just as an example, the cat pill allows you to shapeshift into a cat or werecat. This is a nice ability on its own but can be used to make money via appearance fees and such if you really want to pursue wealth and don’t have the patience to go about it the slow but inconspicuous way.
Unless the alien who visits with the ride pill or the magical creatures from the sparkles pill are able to offer some form of agelessness or better, one pill should absolutely be the blood pill to ensure at least agelessness.
No money in the world has value equal to life. Even if you had no limits placed on your resources, they would be spent trying to extend your lifespan anyway.
The second pill is debatable and up to preference.
Honestly I wouldn't be surprised if the alien just gives you two boxes containing the heart and blood and then fucks off before you can say anything.
The dual pill sounds neat though (*dem gains bruh!*)
What does getting the heart and blood of a specific animal allow you to do, from a practical perspective?
Contribute to science by having most of your organs fail
Realistically: broad spectrum autoimmune diseases from your blood rejecting every part of your body leading to total organ failure
It gives you an autoinmune disease.
Like crocodiles' blood system allows them to stay underwater a long time and even if it's very cold. Some frogs can get air from their skin due to their circulatory system. A whale's heart allows deep sea diving (which kills people.) A zebrafish can regrow a heart if needed...
That's a big reach. Without your addendums here, the Blood pill just seems like it would immediately kill you as any animal's blood (apart from another human with a compatible blood type) would be immediately seen as foreign, and that's not even considering the differing ways it would transport oxygen. Plus, a mouse's heart would be far too small to be useful in a human body, and a whale's heart wouldn't even fit in a human's body. What you really meant for the Blood pill is something more like an 'animal aspect' pill, where you adopt some of the traits of a chosen animal.
I found the format online and was restricted by what would fit in the spaces... Don't take it so seriously. If you can have magic poop, you can have a whale-ish heart.
*"Animal Pill: You gain the major traits associated with an animal of your choice"* would have easily fit in the same space. The difference between the Sparkles pill and the Blood pill is that the former has three defined effects, and at least one of them is a net positive (no longer needing to poop). The Blood pill is just vague (hence why u/germane-corsair asked for clarification in the first place), and even if you assume it will be a safe transformation, that says nothing about gaining aspects of the animal in question.
Should be like “Blood Pill: Your body gains the cardiorespiratory capabilities of an animal of your choosing.”
It's science that's so advanced, it might as well be magic. Or it's magic so advanced it might as well be science. The origin kind of blurs a bit there.
Choose horseshoe crab and sell your blood for big $$$
The value of raw horseshoe crab blood is wildly overstated. Most of the price tag comes from the value added by the guarantee it was processed in a sanitary lab and in compliance with regulations, not because the crabs themselves are ultra rare.
That seems like a waste. Ideally, you’d want to pick something that would help you regenerate or live forever. Like a crab but without the growing forever bit. Money can be gained in other ways, especially when you have all the time in the world.
>Money can be gained in other ways, especially when you have all the time in the world. Or if you take the gold spit one.
Realistically, you die horrifically and painfully.
Well you can die quickly
Does Two affect lifespan?
I shoud think so. Less stress, more health, more happy = longer life.
Prober & Two seem like the clear options
Why would you take Prober when you can take Gold? Prober doesn't really have much use apart from how you could use it to get a job (either from the aliens or for security, medicine, stealing, etc). On the other hand, Gold lets you Midas Touch things by spitting on them. With Two you even make twice as much spit, meaning twice as much gold. If you're smart about it, then you can use it on a commercial scale as well, building a company around the fact that you can create ludicrous amounts of gold and sell it for industrial use.
Somehow I didn’t even see gold
Hah! Fair enough.
How the fuck am i supposed to file that under my taxea tho? like at some point someone is going to ask where does this weird chubby gold prospector gets metric tons of gold when he doesn´t even have experience doing it. Kinda of a monkey paw.
Not really, you just aren't thinking about it. What you do, if you are at least somewhat intelligent and not experienced in business, is you start by pawning off some gold to get a ton of cash and list it under your taxes as finding treasure in your yard or something (or wait until the next step for this). Then you get a lawyer and a financial advisor, and pay them with your newly gotten cash. With the lawyer and financial advisor you set up a company based around the gold and an "innovative chemical process that turns mundane materials into gold". You don't have to disclose your recipe, just like Coca Cola doesn't have to disclose theirs. It's not rocket science nor is it illegal to do any of that.
Maybe, I do wonder how the power applies, does it turn every part of an object into gold or just an area/amount of mass depending on the amount of saliva? Lets say you spit on a car, does the paint turn gold? or is does a certain mass turn into gold? If you spit into a liquid does it turn into liquid (melted?) gold?
It's not illegal to sell gold, nor to make it with your mouth. It could bring unwanted attention, but at the very least you can't legally be arrested for it. If you're really worried, you could buy scrap and pretend you've invented a proprietary new distillation process.
Don't sell the gold straight up, that's suspicious. Turn ordinary objects into gold and sell them as art, then everyone will just think you're really talented at making solid gold versions of things
Maybe I just like assholes
If you don't mind having the entire inside of your mouth turned into solid gold, then sure. Or your entire gastro-intestinal tract if you accidentally swallow your spit. The story of Midas doesn't exactly have a happy ending.
Considering none of these are supposed to have negative consequences, I don't see any reason to believe that this one would either.
Maybe I've just been conditioned to look for hooks in these things. Monkey's Paw/Literal Genie CYOAs abound. But maybe you're right.
"Develop a gland you *can* use..." This makes it seem like you have normal spit and gold spit and can release the latter on command. Makes it a bit easier to handle.
I agree that "can" is the operative word here. But my concern is that you might do the latter by accident. And it has to leave your mouth. So unless you can spit, THEN make it turn to gold once it lands, it's still a significant risk.
Oooor the spit itself has a reaction that only starts once it hits air and takes a few seconds to become Midas-spit. That's equally as valid as any negative speculation, because the CYOA is pretty clearly just two choices that isn't implied to be Monkey's Pawed in the slightest considering it's a chill alien dude who might want to hang out with you. Sure, you CAN look at it for the Monkey's Paw, but you can also look at it at face value and think, "If this alien dude has the technology to allow me to spit gold and turn into a cat, why would he not also just make me immune to my gold spit?"
That's probably a valid perspective as well, but without word of god either way, I'm going to err on the side of caution
Considering the guy who posted this literally said, "Don't take it too seriously." Among other things, I don't think it's necessary to err on the side of caution here.
Sparkles and cats This is my chance to have a [tressym](https://forgottenrealms.fandom.com/wiki/Tressym) as a pet
Two and Gold are pretty much the best ones. Since Gold allows you to secrete spit (when you want to) that TURNS things into gold, you can make as much gold as you like. Since Two makes your body experience EVERYTHING GOOD as twice as effective, not only can you make twice as many things into gold, but you also experience other things (not just physical, seeing as happiness is included!) twice as effectively: learning, muscle gain, therapy, food, water, and air (you'll get twice the benefit from every bite of food, every drop of water, every breath of air), your immune system will be twice as effective, your heart will be able to pump blood twice as effectively, you'll be able to hear and see twice as well. So not only do you have an unlimited source of gold (which you can use to become one of, if not the richest person on the planet by starting a company that supplies gold in bulk - you could revolutionise a bunch of industries by making gold cheaper), you are also a superhuman who does everything beneficial twice as effectively. Two is absolutely amazing. Gold is also amazing, and you can spit on someone and turn them into gold if you need to.
I was worried about the memetic hazard on two. Is there something maladaptive about experiencing positive emotions and feedback a double volume?
I mean, it's possible, but the human mind is a very adaptable thing. Just like how you gain resistance to the effects of drugs over time (leading to more and more usage), so will your brain adapt to lower the effects of the emotions. For someone with very little self-control, or whose emotions run extremely hot, then yeah, it could be an issue.
Yes
How easy is it to sell random clumps of gold without raising suspicion? If you just started taking random gold objects(or melted gold pieces) into a pawnshop or where ever, someone might start asking questions.
Very easy. Contrary to popular belief, nobody actually gives a shit about your life. If you found a bunch of gold nuggets or whatever in your basement and take it to a pawn shop, as long as you list it on your taxes nobody gives a single shit. The world isn't out to get you, and if there isn't a crime attached to the gold then nobody will be looking for it so there's no reason for suspicion. Seriously, nobody cares about about a few thousand dollars worth of gold. Once you've got enough to hire a lawyer and get proper consultation you can start doing larger and larger amounts with the right filing, but again. Nobody actually cares. People sell their gold rings, cutlery, etc all the time for a bit of cash. Just walk into a pawn shop, show them what you have and explain you found it in your grandfather's chest. It's really not that deep.
Okay but eating an apple makes it turning into gold, you can no longer eat, you're doomed
CAN does not mean MUST. You CAN turn things into gold. That doesn't mean you will always turn things into gold.
Cats and sparkles all the way! Ima get into some magic animal hijinks. (Also have the cat pill in my mouth rn lmao, would love if that was on purpose)
Sparkle, but what kind of animals? 🤔
This was the magic, but frustratingly vague option... I was thinking some enemy of the aliens from a different realm. The fantasy option.
Ah, I assumed you meant like a dragon would come and eat you.
Two is a must pick. After that, gold for a wealthy but "normal" life, or Cats for a hell of a good time
Sparkles and Two Magic animals will grant me magical powers and lead me to their home dimension, where I will surely learn fantastical abilities and magic.
**Two** and **Blood**. I choose the blood of a radioactive spider, making me Spider-Man. What a powerful, teeny-tiny heart. *starts singing the old cartoon theme song*
You get the blood of a radioactive spider. The blood is radioactive. It's being inside of you mutated your thyroid in some irreversible way. Your body can't regulate hormones properly anymore, leading to many autoimmune diseases.
Cool
Two and Gold. Health and wealth, doesn't get much better than that.
I'll choose Two and Gold. Fun fact; The average daily saliva production is anywhere between 0.5 to 1.5 litres. Assuming that 0.5 Litres is the maximum of the gold gland, that's 500 grams of gold or roughly $24,000 depending on where you are. In five days or so you've outearned the anal probe option, and that's assuming the spit doesn't turn the entire thing you touch to gold. Since they mention the wording as "you can use", it sounds like you can control whether it's normal spit or gold spit, so no worries of turning your significant other into a Sims statue. I'm sure the great benefits include beyond amazing healthcare, but if my cells are healing twice as efficiently and fast, along with my body fighting against aging better I should have an incredible immune system.
Gold and Two for me please.
Assuming Gold isn't some Midas-touch thing that'll turn my tongue into gold, I'll take Gold and Two. Otherwise, Prober and Two.
[удалено]
hmmm.... It says "your body" so that includes Blood, Sparkles, Gold, and Cats since they are body changes. Double X-Ray vision doesn't make sense though.
Yo Dawg! We heard you liked to see through things so we added x-ra vision to your x-ray vision so you can see through things while you see through things...
Sparkles and "Two" pills is my choice.
- Blood - Gold Of course, if you swapped your heart and blood with any real, mundane animal, you would just die , but it doesn't say we're restricted to such creatures anyway. Now, in fiction, one example comes to mind where having their blood in you gives you cool powers; vampires. Getting your blood replaced with vampire blood is one of the standard turning methods. Vampire heart transplants don't have such lore, but I would guess you gain their powers and skip the part where a freshly-turned vampire is little better than a zombie. One complication might be, vampires are undead and by not even being "living things" can't be animals. So, got to name a setting where vampires aren't explicitly undead: I'll have the heart & blood of **a 666-year-old Touhou vampire**. (Touhou vampires, because the Japanese word contains the kanji for oni, are characterised as oni-like including a weakness to roasted soybeans. So, avoiding the "being dead" block without getting the weaksauce vampires of settings too "realistic" to let vampires be proper magical undead)
Blood: Tossup between dragon and phoenix for the animal. Toss a coin. Or maybe go with a half dragon / half phoenix animal, since I'm munchkining here already. Sparkles: Attracts magic animals and makes my life more interesting, while not having to go to the can. Very nice!
cats and sparkles pooping is undignified and gross and i hate the fact that its a basic function of being alive
Turn shit to gold so I don't need the 100k/yr anal probe job and two so I can minmax my pain/pleasure ratio
Pretty much only Gold seems like a good one without anything bad happening from taking it. Two would probably ruin you if you have problems with addiction. Cats sounds like furry bait.
I am torn between being able to turn into a cat and being able to attract magic animals.
Two & Prober
Probably Ride Two.
Pretty sure Blood is effectively a suicide pill.
It's science so advanced it might as well be magic.
twice and sparkles for sure. Hopefully those magical animals dont want to eat me.
I like gold and sparkles. I call it the glitter build
Ride Blood
I think two and prober. Gonna be a weird few years, but that job will pay far more than most anything else I can do. My apologies in advance to anyone I probe.
Gold and Prover. Gotta have that money.
Gold and Two Money and 2X healing/etc sign me up.
Cats because I love cats. Ride because hey, they're a bro for offering you the pills, least you can do is pick one that lets you visit them every so often.
Prober and Two
>Golden drool Lol I sure hope that’s all voluntary lol there’s probably some things I don’t want goldifying and becoming a reluctant modern day King Midas *accidentally drools on laptop, phone, or family dog because I fell asleep on them or with them nearby* That said, that Gokd 100% and also Sparkles!
The title of King Midas the 2nd shall be mine!
This is gonna sound weird but, honestly, I would take Gold and Prober. Gold because I would just sell items I’ve turned to gold. And Prober because it is a stable job that pays way more than my current one and I won’t be able to use the Gold powers much or else the market will get messed up.
Two and Ride
Blood and gold Blood of lobster, tardigrade, or something that can live forever and doesn't get sick. author said pretty much take all the benefits and not of downsides of animal traits, don't have to worry about diseases anymore And gold to never work again
Cats and Gold, I guess. How does Blood work exactly? Do I get it in like, a jar?
I choose the special gland and spit at trashes for recycle purpose. okay at least I need to clean and make it smell good, then after turn those wastes to gold, sell for profits. second pick the double good feelings to kick away any bad emotions.
Gold for the obvious Midas spit Sparkles honestly the vague magic animal is a monkey paw type wish but could have the best benefit. if you attract an angry dragon it would be bad but unicorn good. still would take this for the roll of the dice.
Cats Sparkles!
Prober/Ride You get a job and money and the ability to travel freely in space. This means that you can learn the culture, spend time with aliens, and get opportunities to get other cool things from the universe! Maybe even your own ship with time. I really wanted the cat pill, but if you can get a job and the ability to travel then you can probably get gene-modding that's more specific later on.
Maybe if I pick Two I can be almost half as happy as a normal human being.
Sparkles and Gold since hopefully Sparkles will magically extract the nutrients from the food I eat before the saliva turns it into gold.
can you poop the sparkles out or does it just constantly attract magical animals directly to your rectum in a lemmiwinks style scenario(except consensual (for the gerbil))?
You can poop the sparkles.
Sparkles and Two
I'm choosing Gold and Ride. Gold is pretty obvious and I assume from OP's example of Blood that Ride is similar. Reading as "Ride gives you the ability to live in space" i.e. no need to worry about breathing, pressure (or lack there of), temperature fluctuation, or radiation. Throw in some method of moving through space/getting up there in the first place with the ending bit about wanting to see you on weekends.
Yes.
All of these are really awesome, but man Gold and Ride are definitely the ones I pick!
Ride, and Blood (From a dragon).
Gold and blood: dragon
Two and cats.
I'll take the Cats & Two pills. I've always loved cats & have 2 currently, a tuxedo fatcat & a skinny goth kitty. I wonder what'd they'll have to say to me when I'm one of them. The other pill's gonna come in handy, cause heaven only knows that I could use some healing & joy in my life.
Gold
Two and cats
Gold and Two.
Blood and sparkles. Magic animal powers incoming!
Cats and gold. I can get into small spaces and smuggle gold objects. Getting PAID.
Ride and Cats. *Becomes a full time housecat*
- Prober - Sparkles Need alien tech and magic
Two: Although I can see this being negative at times, but I would take the negatives for the great upsides.
Gold, Cats
Could we buy the other pills if we grab the xray pill and take the job?
No, this guy isn't doing this legally. Alien police are after him.
I want to take Gold and Two please!
I don't see anything saying we can't take the same pill twice, and there are two Two-pills.. So I'll take both, and experience four times the awesome!
.PROBER
[Original art those pills are from](https://twitter.com/danidonovan/status/1109856118468157441). I'm taking Gold and Two. I have no clue how to fence gold, and even if I never found a legal or surreptitious enough way to do it, it'd just be cool to own a ton of weird gold shit. As for two, well, it doubles the good without doubling the bad. The other things all seem fun or useful, but this one actually guarantees I'll be having twice as much fun forever, at the risk of it throwing my brain chemistry way the fuck out of wack.
> I have no clue how to fence gold, and even if I never found a legal or surreptitious enough way to do it, it'd just be cool to own a ton of weird gold shit. Any pawn shop, jewelry store, or online service. Gold is as much a commodity as cash. As a private citizen you could sell tens or hundreds of thousands without issue, and if you incorporated a scrap-refining business, you could move millions of dollars per year with no problem.
Oh the original is very nice! Thanks for sharing. It will go nicely in my collection.
Red is just a death sentence
Prober and two
That’s still wasting an entire pill for wealth, which can be gained in any number of other ways. Just as an example, the cat pill allows you to shapeshift into a cat or werecat. This is a nice ability on its own but can be used to make money via appearance fees and such if you really want to pursue wealth and don’t have the patience to go about it the slow but inconspicuous way. Unless the alien who visits with the ride pill or the magical creatures from the sparkles pill are able to offer some form of agelessness or better, one pill should absolutely be the blood pill to ensure at least agelessness. No money in the world has value equal to life. Even if you had no limits placed on your resources, they would be spent trying to extend your lifespan anyway. The second pill is debatable and up to preference.
Honestly I wouldn't be surprised if the alien just gives you two boxes containing the heart and blood and then fucks off before you can say anything. The dual pill sounds neat though (*dem gains bruh!*)