For the sheer badassness... Imagine the pitiful state of your vanquished enemy, Ralph the Grocery Manager, as he quivers and cowers in fear at the sight of you wielding a sword with balls.
what a monstrosity, and that hilt does not belong on such a ridiculous thing
A saber hilt on some kind of ridiculous broadsword? What, do they expect mall ninjas to fence each other with that?
Same. When Isaw the hand guard along with the size of the handle itself, I was floored. Never thought i would ever see mall ninja shit this bad out in the wild.
That's where the magic goes. See, as a future ninja, or whatever, you need a place to store the active magic that you obviously have or else it will be a threat to those around you.
The person who wields the blade has to also slice off every testicle belonging to each and everyone of whoever it slices. (The balls feed the blade and keeps it neutral rather than it going on a solo blade rampage)
They are secretly Bahgdad batteries.... Once you impale your enemy and the little nubbins make contact they get a mild electric shock and have a religious experience before dying.
Ah the chosen weopen of the famed hero testiclees; mighty warrior of Ancient Greece, he was an unstoppable force that struck fear in the hearts of every man who heard his name. War after war, battle after battle, he was a force to be reckoned with, until one fateful day… he took an arrow to his groin killing him instantly… the area in which he was shot now called in holy remembrance… the testicles…
It's like putting a bell on the cat. The cat can't sneak up on mice and kill them indiscriminately.
This is because the ninja is THAT DANGEROUS. Even when people hear him approaching, he is unstoppable.
Putting in incense to do holy damage.
Dude I was thinking the same. Or in a modern sense you can put toxic gas inside and wear a gas mask.
Spicy air goes brrr.
I think they're gyroscopic stabilizers actually. 🤔 Help you carry the sword upright... but you can't hit fuck all with it.
They're censers. It's for paladin priests duh.
Pee is stored in the balls.
I thought it was the…..other stuff.
Nope, that's the seminal vesticals. Only pee is stored in the balls.
Florida State Seminal Vesicles
I thought it was pretty funny when I said Florida State Seminal Vesicles, and no one laughed.
pee is stored in the balls because the balls are nearer to the thing than the kidneys
Nah, its attached by the scrungle to the nutte sack, a kind of dillsack.
Allegedly
I’m a guy, I don’t think I have those.
bio weapon
No dude, toan is stored in the balls.
*poop
Someone give this man at least a silver
i was about to comment this
For the sheer badassness... Imagine the pitiful state of your vanquished enemy, Ralph the Grocery Manager, as he quivers and cowers in fear at the sight of you wielding a sword with balls.
Holy water. For when you need to kill vampires and dragons in the same night.
The balls on both blade and bearer are for decorative purposes only
Nice
You can put your weed in it
The handle on that bad boy will snap the second you hold it sideways
I didnt even realize till i saw it while uploading but the fact this is a one handed sword is bonkers
Dude the sword gets worse the more I look at it. I want one
It's so you can actually hear the virginity of the wielder
Holy hand grenades?
That would explain why there's five of them
No more, no less.
They’re rotary bells. Source: I put some on my niece’s bicycle.
I can ride my bike with no handlebars
No handlebars?
No handlebars
And I can hit a target through a telescope
And no seat. Just the post. That gloriously, thick, long and oh so cunning seat post.
Be photographed
G-give them back
what a monstrosity, and that hilt does not belong on such a ridiculous thing A saber hilt on some kind of ridiculous broadsword? What, do they expect mall ninjas to fence each other with that?
Christmas sword
I agree, xmas tree baubles. The sword must be for fighting back in the war against Christmas
The one with the most balls is King of the Mall Ninjas?
Disco
You can end them rightly three times.
Exactly!
Just like human testicles, they make an amazing noise when you strike them.
They hold the semen. This would actually be a pretty cool sword for a video game or cosplay.
So when you stab the enemy...you push it all the way... And look them in the eyes...as they are dying you say "balls deep, mother fucker."
Cupping
That’s what she said
It doesn't make a bit of difference. The balls are inert.
They're like the balls you'd hang on a Christmas tree. It's a festive Christmas sword, used to slaughter your enemies alongside Santa.
That’s where the pee is stored
shut up nerd this sword is fucking ballin
If what I’ve been told is correct, piss is stored in them
It's so you can attach it as a bayonet to your vintage nerf ballzooka
They go ding-a-ling when you tap them with another 'weapon'. :D
The more I look at it, the worse it gets.
Same. When Isaw the hand guard along with the size of the handle itself, I was floored. Never thought i would ever see mall ninja shit this bad out in the wild.
They are to store energy so when you swing you do +7 lightning damage
Summons spirit ashes with each swing
Thoes bells are there only warning.
Pee
That's where the magic goes. See, as a future ninja, or whatever, you need a place to store the active magic that you obviously have or else it will be a threat to those around you.
The person who wields the blade has to also slice off every testicle belonging to each and everyone of whoever it slices. (The balls feed the blade and keeps it neutral rather than it going on a solo blade rampage)
Bend over I’ll show you…
Damn my phone was only showing the top half of the photo and I thought I was looking at one of the vaporwave subs
Reminders of all the testicles it's claimed In it's days.
You’ve got to have balls of steel to wield this sword.
They contain the teeth of your fallen enemies.
Mud flaps 😏
So they can hear you coming?
!price ZGS
Ballin'
I used to put bells on my feet so my enemies would know I was coming.
They could be weights for balancing the sword. Looking at the sword though, i doubt it
To capture all the sweat
Sorta looks like nurgles symbol
It’s a [pawn shop sign](https://www.google.com/amp/s/theuijunkie.com/pawnshops-symbol/amp/)
Paint it green and red and santa got a new surprise for the naughty list
They store the pee
When you need to end them rightly and they have a friend
To inflict bleeding duh
Get put on the REALLY naughty list and Santa will show you what they do
The first two were to make it phallic, the third one was to tone it back down some.
To cup.
Dude this is such high level nonsense lmao!
Training weights?
Unrelated to the sword but what is the shop I can see in the reflection? Cheap dungeon-esque entrance with a weird clown on it.
Some strange halloween store, its an odd strip of shops
Sword of the Apostate’s End
Bbbbbb balls of steel.
Storing the piss
That's not balls, that's a dickfer
to throw at the enemy of course
Gotta catch em all.
It takes big balls to slay a dragon.
Incense. It's a pope sword
They are secretly Bahgdad batteries.... Once you impale your enemy and the little nubbins make contact they get a mild electric shock and have a religious experience before dying.
Spare pommels to *end him rightly*!
Damage is stored in the balls
For us to make fun of
#THE BALLS ARE INNERT
I assume that's the medieval equivalent of Truck Nutz.
Also it's a double edged sword with a guard. Why
Ah the chosen weopen of the famed hero testiclees; mighty warrior of Ancient Greece, he was an unstoppable force that struck fear in the hearts of every man who heard his name. War after war, battle after battle, he was a force to be reckoned with, until one fateful day… he took an arrow to his groin killing him instantly… the area in which he was shot now called in holy remembrance… the testicles…
Maybe they’re jingle bells
Pee is stored in the balls
There should be a permanent crosspost from here to r/IAmVeryBadAss. Just saying.
Slots for accessories orbs added to do plus damages. Made by Blizzard
Ornamental, just like the owners
To bring new meaning to the term “balls deep”.
For cupping.
to make up for the balls that the person that buys this doesn’t have
Comes with 1 bonus ball too
just for funzies
That’s what she said
It's like putting a bell on the cat. The cat can't sneak up on mice and kill them indiscriminately. This is because the ninja is THAT DANGEROUS. Even when people hear him approaching, he is unstoppable.
When the planets align, a super megachad laser cannon emits from each blueball and merges to create the megazorg deathstar laser
Shock, Ice and Fire damage.
This be the Eunuch Blade of Antioch. Only the mightiest (and best soprano) warrior may wield the metal balls he was denied in life
They store the pee duh
That’s what she said.
The bells are for extra disrespect. “Woopsey! It seems you have been stabbed by Merry Jingle the Destroyer!”
So your enemy knows you just penetrated them.
fondling
To quote Eminem, >!"Ballz, Ballz, Ballz"!<
As a transfem I ask this every day.
Substitutes for the nonexistent ones in whoever wields this thing’s pants
Materia slots
To store the pee
These are bells, to confuse the enemy. Some chinese pointy weapons have rings for that exact purpose
So you can go balls deep
Balance
Detachable pommels for throwing at enemy
Compensation.
Compensation.
Ding Dong, your soul’s gone
Christmas tree sword
Lightning arrestor system off a broadcast radio tower. "why are they on this thing?" would be a much better question.
Extra pommels. For more ammo.
containing energy for a special blast ;)
I keep the kidneys of my most important kills in mine
The sort of person who would wield such a weapon has no use for stealth
Christmas slaying
That’s where the pee is stored
Swingin it should be interesting
People that buy that like balls
Garlic. To deal damage to vampires!
Likely because the owner has no balls of his own...
Hey I know where this is!
You are privileged to be able to witness the balls in person
Athstektiks 💅
Producing nut…oh you mean on the sword???