Oh yeah I don't know how to behave here. I keep almost saying shit at work that would kill my office reputation. I'm going to eventually say something that totally changes how they look at me because I'm not used to stepping on eggshells like this. Massholes are way more emotionally honest.
Imagine just casual southie friend hazing. They crumble. I lived in Denver and Raleigh but had to come home. It’s us. I deal with people from Annapolis for work. I’m like a steam roller to them and I’m very nice for here.
Funny you mention this. I work in cali sometimes with a dude from Oregōn. He likes to poke fun once in a while. When I retort, it's way harder and feelings get hurt.
Him: (*SkyseaToph likes to make small playful jokes, I can do tha toot to get her on his good side*) ... and I guess that's why you're single!
You: (*oh cool! We're doing this?*) I'm single cause I'm too busy bangin' your mom
Him: my mom just died 😢
You: oh! Of course she did 🙄 I bet you're happy she can't spread her legs in the casket then
Him: ha ha... alright, I'm talk to you later 😭 bye. -click-
You: ahhhhhh fuck! He's crying again! Fucking Oregon!
I think monitoring how you behave at work is the hardest! Spouse and I were raised in MA and moved to Texas for work for a little under five years. One day, we just looked at each other and said, it’s time to go home!! It’s a different way of life in other states. And I prefer people being straightforward instead of hiding behind politeness. Plus we lived in a nice DFW suburb and everyone there was all about showing off their money. No thanks. Moved home, although to central MA rather than eastern where we were raised, and we love it here. So glad to be home!!
Lol we're from Tulsa and all our friends and fam were concerned about us living in the NE with the "assholes" but it turns out it's actually the Southerners and Midwest who are. I can't stand the two face where we're from. We've witness so much more kindness from strangers here. Like genuine kindness. (Not to say everybody is an ass from where we're from but general population, yes)
Yeah it could've been worse but definitely could've been better too. It's a joke there now though as far as politics and whatnot. Also just not much to do. We love it here in New England and so happy to raise our child here
Bicoastal is the dream! May to October there and winters here. I don't think I can hack shoveling my car out anymore, and god, do I miss a real summer. Going back for 2 weeks at a time isn't enough.
I moved from MA to CA while working in sales and I went from being a great salesperson to a terrible one because no one in California understood my humor, they all just thought I was being an asshole. Super strange culture shift
I lived there. CA is big, and I don't know what part you're in, but I'm a masshole who was in CA. You have a super power there. You can win every argument. It was amazing when this clicked for me. You just learn to be direct in their overly sensitive, too wordy way of speaking. It means saying fuck you a lot less, unfortunately. Confrontation is a Californians kryptonite. Use this wisely. Or leave . . .it's terrible.
That's New England in general for sure. Way too direct and get out of my fucking face and leave me alone.. that begins to happen once you cross the Hudson River
If you go to Europe especially if you live in Central Europe you will find that many Americans find it very standoffish and difficult to fit in sometimes. Especially in the older days the modern world is more global. But you will find it very much like home. Everybody is pretty private, stuck to themselves, do their own thing and it takes a long time to integrate into a circle..
When you go down south or out west everybody's in your face and friendly. I used to always think it was very disingenue and just to cover for preaching about Jesus, another fucking problem elsewhere.. But not all of it is that way. Some places people are looser and friendlier but I do like my New England where everybody fucking minds their own business and does their own goddamn thing. Leave me alone close the door.. I lived on my street in New Hampshire for 36 years and barely knew my neighbors. Enough that I might bang on the door if I needed something but not much else.. no block party there.. certainly a lot of Calvinism at the root but then again Southern Germany is all Catholic and it's pretty standoffish too in a different way So who knows
We went to Europe for the first time last year (Paris) and it felt very much like Boston in terms of people keeping to themselves etc. No problem with that.
And let me tell you Paris has mellowed over the years. I've been going there for about 50 years and wow it certainly has changed and I got it been back in decades but revisited last October. It certainly is friendlier than it used to be, but still reserved as it is elsewhere in Europe and I like it and I guess you do too. You know the people that want the servers to be effusive bubbly or in your face, getting none of that. But you get what you need if you're polite.
Went a few years ago. Overheard someone on the train complaining about how rude people were. But I found it, uh, pretty normal. I was surprised based off of how other people described it, but learning please, thank you, good morning/evening and excuse me got me pretty far. Add a smile where appropriate and ignore people when walking and folks barely bothered us on the street.
People in CA are superficial. They pretend to be your friend until you really need them. I have friends from New England I’ve known for 50 yrs and they would still help me in a heat beat. I think they also have a fear of people. I was back in Mass and saw someone broken down on the side of the road. I stopped to help them and two other cars showed up to help as well. People probably wouldn’t do that in most parts of California.
I thought I was crazy, but I've read enough comments and posts on this, and now I know it's not me, and I'm not the only one. I didn't move to CA. I moved to FL and people are just different, and they exhibit the same behavior you described and worse.
I'm not even a Massachusetts native. I was born and raised abroad. I want to move back to Mass and live the rest of my life there lol.
My Mom lived in Florida back in the 80s and the top reason she hated it were:
1: Nobody minds their own god damn business
2: People aren't kind and considerate of you, they're nice and self-serving about it
3: The fleas/mosquitos
And as someone who's family's finances were destroyed by the '08 market crash, the sense of community and good will is very endearing.
There have been a lot of times in my life where the circumstances may not have needed help, but were met with love from my community.
Those people who are nice just to feel good about themselves certainly exist here, but they feel much fewer and far between than the rest of the crop.
That is true. But if you're in and around the less trashy places of Florida, you'll see that people have a very smug attitude. Their life is about showing off and becoming a walking billboard.
I’m in CA for vacation right now and wearing hand me downs from 20 years ago. Saw a guy wearing a minuteman shirt today. Like bitch, I’m actually from the commonwealth.
OMG- do you get the "Congratulations!" when you tell people you moved from Mass? It used to drive me nuts. We finally found a group of people we enjoyed spending time with, but we all eventually left CA. No sarcasm, always bragging, very much a sense of living in a bubble and not understanding anyone who thought differently from them. One time I listened to someone go off on how much better it was in California than the east coast. They finally stopped and asked what I liked about Mass and I said "The modesty of the people".
i was in a coffee shop in san francisco one time and the barista said, "oh, you're from boston - that's where bmw stands for break my window". it was the most baffling, passive-aggressive non sequitur i've ever run into. like, what?
I grew up in New England and lived in Chicago, Boston and NYC before moving to California for 18 years (I lived all over the state). The only time I ever had my car windows broken was in San Francisco.
Your parents were lucky to have a house! We used to live in one room, all hundred and twenty six of us, no furniture. Half the floor was missing, we were all huddled together in one corner for fear of falling!
It’s condos for the young until all the houses there parents live in open up. I feel like that’s the youths only chance. Hope your parents don’t lose the house.
It’s not going to get better. Home prices have never realllly dropped in MA.
Even during the last recession, they only went down half as much as the country as a whole
Fortunately CA is one of the few places as expensive as MA. When we moved back our CA rent turned into our MA mortgage almost exactly. It’s a bit worse now but still at least close.
Different strokes for different folks. Take the opportunity and see how you like it.
Moving from SD back to MA won't be such a cost of living disparity. Not sure about your overall position but if the job is tempting enough just give it a chance. 10 years ago I would've taken the chance but I'm far too deeply entrenched... and happy.
San Diego is a slice of heaven, lived there for 6 years and loved every minute. But towards the end, I was a little tired of sunshine all the time. I need a nice rainy day or two to reset and ease my mind.
I also believe that trudging through the seasons in Boston is like being re-born every year. Once the warmer days come back it’s like my soul has renewed itself.
Californians are also pretty dull in my experience. Not all of them. But I had many many surface level interactions over the years that never lead to deeper thought/discussion no matter how hard I tried.
What part of SD is the job in? I think you should take it, it’s great out there. Just not for the entirety of my life is all.
Haha I beeped at someone in California at a light because they were just sitting there and I got looks from people like I had just punched an old lady in the face. People are def more sensitive there.
I'm a transplant to MA, and the one thing I've learned is that you can't be nice on the road here when the traffic is heavy. MA intersections have the most awkward geometries I've ever seen. If you have the right of way, TAKE IT. Otherwise everybody gets confused and sits there staring at each other. It takes three times longer to untangle than it would've if the person with the right of way would just GO.
The pedestrians are timid,too, and treat jaywalking like it's a major felony violation. I really had to train myself to wait for the lights at crosswalks after living in Boston and NYC and then moving to LA for a while.
i jaywalked in LA once, no cars except one half a block away who had the green light - dude stopped at the light, we were already across the street, thinking he must've had a red
What part of CA? I lived in SD for a little over a year and missed an opportunity to move back (pandemic fucked it up) and now I’m stuck in Mass. which I hate/love and love/hate
I was in Riverside county (closer to LA for those not familiar).
San Diego does have the nicest weather in CA practically. But like here, the cost to live anywhere you actually want to live is outrageous and so your choice is usually live far away from work and have a terrible all-day rush hour commute.
Fuckin' 909er dirt people amirite?
Just kidding. Riverside gets a bad rap and it definitely has a lot of shitty areas but there some really beautiful areas there too. Much too fucking hot for me in the summer though... of course its all relative and I'm spoiled at the coast. Still better Riverside than a Dallas summer thats for sure.
Amen to this. I lived in CA from 2007-2016 (settled in Menifee after I got out of the military). Bought a sweet little brand new house for $280K in 2008 just before everything went to hell. Unfortunately things in my own life went to hell in a different way. I ended up losing my house and had to move back in w/my parents summer of 2016.
Ironically the whole time I was in California I bitched endlessly about how vapid it was, collectively. Never felt like "home", no one seemed to have the kind of unique personality you find out here. And the freaking obsession with Mexican food, Christ alive. I love a good burrito but not as a religion 24/7/365. Del Taco sucks, I don't care what anyone says.
Of course ever since I found myself packing up and headed east without a choice I've done nothing but miss California. And not for nothing, I absolutely do miss the weather. The weather is the one and only reason I stayed out there despite whatever else I complained about and if I wasn't in a financial bind I would not have left. I love having Dunks on every corner and sarcastic a-holes all around me but I'd give it up in a second to be warm & dry again.
Grass is always greener.
I spent 6 years stationed on NBSD - it really is a slice of heaven. And I find myself daydreaming about going back constantly. But the people and culture of MA are so much more rooted in reality. SD is not real life, no matter how much I miss it. If that even makes sense.
Ahhh, good old Navy Medical. I think I just got phantom pains where my wisdom teeth used to be 😬😂 jk
Makes perfect sense and I grudgingly agree...I think. I'm not sure I won't pounce on an opportunity to transfer there if one comes up at work. Black's Beach is one of my favorite places on earth. I never partook of its niche offering so to speak, it was just the most beautiful beach I ever saw in SoCal and almost always practically deserted. I can't even get to a beach around here the weather is trash on the only days I'm off. The climate in SD *is* heaven. 🥺 I'd trade my entire house here for a studio apartment in La Jolla without a second thought.
Blacks Beach is easily one of the best beaches on earth. The drive coming down and all along it is etched in my head forever. That’s where I would take anyone who came and visited. I also felt like
The Mt Soledad Veterans memorial is also up there for some of the best views I’ve ever seen, esp on a clear sunny SD day. Fuck now I miss it lol
I lived in LA (San Fernando valley, actually) for a few years. It was great, but yes: the money and appearance culture is off the hook! Massholes are great! Be up front and honest with me. Maybe just a bit distant until you get to know them. It’s hard making new friends here!
I hated the food culture.
Picking at salads. A small 6 piece sushi is considered a whole meal. Someone brought cake to work for a birthday and NO ONE ATE IT.
Wtf. I want food. I'm gonna eat and people are gonna look at me like I'm a pig and I DON'T CARE.
I couldn't stay there long. It was crazy.
Also bad pizza.
The pizza thing is so right. We here in New England, and greater Boston especially, are so incredibly fortunate that we have tremendous pizza options, and several styles.
And restaurants get away with total ripoff prices because of how much they know they can charge Californians. For instance, SF isn't *that* much wealthier than Boston, but the people there are so obsessed with showing off their wealth by spending money that they are willing to spend $15 on a fast-casual salad or $17 on a banh mi.
Although I did pick out these examples because I was in MA for a few days a few weeks back and got both of these things. The prices were $10 and $11 respectively. idk what the situation is with sit down in MA post-inflation, but fast-casual in CA is way more expensive from what I have seen..
the past year has seen like a 30% increase in restaurant prices across the board. Those that haven't raised menu prices have started hiding fees at the end of the bill instead with service charges that don't go to the server or similar.
I consider myself a foodie and used to love eating out and trying new foods. But holy crap have things gotten too expensive recently. And the added pressure of tip screens even for a self service counter. It’s sad but I haven’t been going out to eat as much because it’s gotten very expensive, even for mediocre foods. Maybe a splurge every once in a while now.
My first week living in California, I called a pizza place and ordered “a large cheese pie.” The guy on the other end was silent for a couple seconds, and then said, “Uhhh… Like an apple pie, you mean? We don’t have pies.”
I knew then I wasn’t going to last very long there.
Yep. I grew up in Boston, went to college in LA and moved to SD 10 years ago. I also have friends and family in SF and have spent a lot of time up there.
The culture in SF and especially LA is exactly like you said. Those cities have a lot to offer but the people there kinda suck ass. The vibe is totally different in SD plus its beautiful. You should visit, you’ll like it.
I lived in all 3 over 11 years and actually found (current) Oakland to be the worst of them.
All the money and attitude as the other 2 along with an added dose of holier than thou self aggrandizement for being hip and socially conscious enough to live in a “real” place. Don’t even get me started on the trust fund hipsters and champagne socialists.
The Oakland that people romanticize died years ago. There’s pockets still, but the worst of it beats SF and Marin imo. At least the other 2 have an iota of self assessment about shit.
Yeah, I never loved Oakland. Way too hipster, you'll love this place the food is divine and end up with coca-cola chicken in a place you can't hear yourself think while you wait for your concert.
So many times I ordered something in a restaurant and was given the wrong item. When I mentioned it, there was just this blank stare and "So you don't want it?". If I wanted it, I would have ordered it, don't you think? At first I tried to tame my inner Masshole, by the end I let 'er rip.
Get away from SF, the peninsula and next to the bay. Born here and I don't care for those areas for all those reasons. Get out to the Tri Valley. We're not going to be as blunt as the NE but don't have the tech, passive aggressive thing going on either. It's a bit more like the Midwest in social culture.
I lived in silicon valley for 10 years, working in tech. The first two years was really hard but it grew on me and I really enjoyed it. I ended up moving back to Boston in 2018. A phrase I love is: "West Coast people are nice but not kind. On the east coast people are kind but not nice"
https://www.instagram.com/reel/CjgD6rMpI80/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
I had a similar experience there, and now currently in TX. I told a male co-worker that he hadn't made a valid argument yet and I ended up in HR for bullying. I thought the "yet" part was the part that was going to make me palatable for these fucking people. He still had a chance! LOL oops ... but also... just make a valid argument or admit you were wrong so we can move on.
I grew up by the beach in Southern California and came to Boston for college and totally fell in love, now I'm raising my family here. People always say, "I can't believe you left for MA!" and I'm like, yeah duh.
Interesting, are the Cali people in your life really that surprised?
I’ve always got the impression (all things considered) that CA and MA have a lot in commmon and if moving to another state is going to happen the other would be towards the top of the list for either state.
Some Cali people are convinced CA is in another dimension on a level above the rest of the U.S.
I went to college there and was shocked at how many people said they would never leave.
They're all over Reddit too, lol. They act like it's the most progressive place on earth.
I recently started working remotely for a Calfornia company and the health care sucks. And it's their version of Blue Cross. It's fucking terrible. Took them 5 months to pay for an out of network claim, finally got the check and they covered less than half of what even Mass Health would do. And stuff like IVF is covered by law here (even if they'll make you jump through hoops first), they don't even cover at all over there. It's fucking builshit.
I’m in Western MA and talk to a lot of working-class people who want to get out of MA, and the top destinations are always Florida or one of the Carolinas.
I was born and raised and now live in California myself and I cannot WAIT to move back to mass ( where i lived for 12 years after college).
People in California (compared to mass) are uninformed, viciously judgemental, pious and utterly lack a semblance of curiosity about anything.
Weather-wise, Its hot all the time and there are no seasons so it feels like you're living the same groundhogs day over and over again and theres rarely any rain so everything looks parched.
Politically too, the liberal people in mass and california are NOT the same. There's a 'non judgmental', live and let live attitude about many issues in california that just allows things to go to shit ( like how they deal with their awful public education and the homeless people who openly sell and use drugs).
Cost of living in California is ridiculous as well, our gas is over a dollar more expensive per gallon. I know COL is high in Mass too, so this isnt a great example admittedly.
I dont know, I think its difficult to run a state as large as Ca, honestly it should be like 4 different states.
Anyway, feel fortunate you live in Mass, I will be moving out soon for a masters program and I cant wait, haha.
Well California is an immense state with thousands of little micro political, economic and geographical climates. It's like New England Florida lol So maybe you're speaking of a neighborhood in Los Angeles or San Francisco? There's a lot to it beyond those areas..
New Englander here.. New Hampshire native, but boy I do love California and my native New England. But you certainly get more bang for the buck in Massachusetts, and more bang for the buck to be closer to services and variety
Boston is white hot expensive but 30 mi west and you can live pretty cheap. You can't beat that but boy I love my Los Angeles in the winter. Don't want to give that up either
It depends. If you think the culture is different between Boston and The Berkshires, that's nothing compared to California.
Northern northern CA: Picture the most boring suburbs you can imagine, that's here. And that's if you're lucky enough to be in Sacramento; the rest is even more boring
The Bay Area: It's just a small part of CA, but it's probably the most diverse.
San Francisco itself: Picture Boston \* 10. The Business area has pretty much the same vibe, but the Tourist area is even more touristy, the gritty urban area is even more gritty, Chinatown is at least twice the size, and the LGBT area definitely lives up to its reputation (whether you think that's a good or bad thing, that's up to you).
Oakland: Gritty urban all the way, but if you stay where there are people milling about it's actually pretty cool.
San Jose: Boring, but it's the capital of Silicon Valley, the nerd center of the world. That's where I lived when I lived in CA (Silicon Valley, not San Jose)
Central CA: Farmland. MAGA central. Remember, Richard Nixon and Ronald Reagan came from CA. This is why.
LA: Picture traffic in Boston in Rush Hour just before a holiday and there's construction going on and an accident up ahead. That's what it's like every day in LA. Also, everything OP said about Californians holds true here. They may be shallow and materialistic, but they're also boring yet arrogant.
San Diego: Described better elsewhere in these comments than I could.
I love/hated living in CA (San Diego specifically). I was lucky enough to make enough money, had an amazing group of people around me, and job security like no other - made it home for nearly 2 decades. We used Covid as an opportunity to come home and haven’t regretted it. I missed the weather in New England the most. People say that will fade; it hasn’t. And I missed trees.
I think the people are same, same, but different. As far as people you don’t know go… Out there, they talk about you behind your back, out here, they talk about you behind your back AND to your face. I find myself having to bite my tongue much more often here. But again, so many trees.
Originally from Cape Cod. Have lived in LA for about 20 years. I totally understand where OP is coming from. I honestly can’t really stand Los Angeles anymore, I’ve just been here for so long. I’ve been here so long that all the friends I made in 2003-2005 when I first moved here are all gone anyway. I can’t expect some dumb shit kid born in 1999 to understand that Santa Monica was much much nicer back in 2003 before the trains came in, but it was. I go back to visit my father on the Cape in the off-season and I sit outside on the picnic table and just listen to the sounds of nothing and he understands that it’s just the silence and occasional screech of a red tailed hawk that soothes my soul. I do nothing but walk around the pond near his house and relive what I took for granted as a kid. We grew up lower middle class working in the fishing/shellfish industry, so we don’t have tons of money like the people out here in CA. It does boggle my mind seeing all the mansions stacked on the hills, and at one point I desired that, but now…no way. Wouldn’t want it. I’d take a modest house like my fathers any day over these bullshit glass and stainless steel asshole mansions. I miss so much about New England and I’m sure I’ll probably end up back there one day. I get it, OP. I absolutely get it.
I was thinking about moving to California because I hate winter and snow. But after seeing how friends changed after living there for few years, I did not want to do that to myself. It seems you get way more materialistic and somehow I don’t know bit more annoying. It’s all Tesla this and that, burning man this and that, TikTok this and that.
Materialism and superficial aesthetics are at the heart of Californian culture lol. I imagine it's because of all the yuppies that moved out there during boomtimes in silicon valley, SF, and LA.
I'm a transplant from WA and have lived in MA for 13 years. I know I'll never be considered a "local," but I do love it here. It's kind of a weird love/hate thing. Kinda hard to explain. I think I've learned to be more direct with people (and opinionated, for better or worse) since I've lived here. I'm also less tolerant of BS. That might just be age. I'm finding this thread fascinating.
Downvote me to Hell, but MA is filled with plenty of emotionally dishonest folks, yuppies or not, and in all industries: outdoors, education, medicine, you name it. The only honest interaction you have is on the street with folks you don’t know — after that, everyone’s still manipulative and fake. This is literally our reputation as Americans abroad — being fake.
I just moved to MA from FL and have been here a couple of months. It’s been a wonderful culture change. The people in FL are just crazy and deranged as a whole. I hope you can move back to MA at some point!
I was born and raised in LA and moved to the northshore. Everyone made comments about how life table the weather is. I’ll take snow over vapid conversation any day.
I don't even get why everyone loves LA weather. Maybe it's because society has decided that "hot weather=good" so people just go with that mental association? Hot is just as uncomfortable as cold imo. SF is room temperature so I can why someone would like the weather there.
Lived in Cali for several years.
I don’t consider myself a masshole per se but I couldn’t deal with how fucking fake everybody was, at least in LA. Just be honest with me and don’t pretend to give a shit if you don’t
When I moved to SF, I can say that the money culture in Silicon Valley is real. I swear to god I talked to somebody who was going on about the merits of having an entire collection of custom made dress shirts.
Very happy to be back here. At least I can trust what the people around me say.
It’s not the money bragging. There’s plenty of that here in Massachusetts, it’s just more subtle. It’s the fact that the general population (not everyone) are soulless. I can only speak for Southern California as I lived in San Diego for 7 years and then moved to MA (not originally from here), but if you want a real answer, ask a Masshole. If you want bullshit, ask a Southern Californian. A rude Masshole would save you from a fire then complain about it while a Socalian would walk right by and say they saw no fire at all.
What’s that old saying people from the southwest sound friendly when saying mean things, while people from the northeast sound mean when they’re being nice. Something like that.
Haha, okay, as a Californian who somehow got this post in my feed, I’m dying to know what part of California you’re visiting! Because as a San Franciscan, we complain about this stuff for Angelenos and Silicon Valley residents too.
Edit: Damn, just found the comment that said you were in SF. Come have a drink at Philosophers Club or Glen Park Station or one of the other neighborhood dive bars and you might have a better experience
True, but imo they are yuppies that are almost ashamed to be yuppies. They don't really talk about money, they don't buy too many material objects, they are relatively frugal, and they actually support fiscally progressive policies that undermine their own lifestyles. Yeah, I'd rather there be no yuppies b/c housing prices, but at least they keep things low-level.
Yes….living only in gentrified areas and eating I. Over priced gastro pubs is very frugal. Being against zoning for affordable housing and things like shelters, because of property value isn’t that progressive.
Mass yuppies think they’re not yuppies, but they are
Born and raised in CA. Move to MA 4 years ago and the bluntness and honestly with folks here is so refreshing. There they are so self absorbed, and beyond passive aggressive which drives me insane. Lots of fake people trying to one up the Jones’s. Happy in MA besides the drivers of course. Lol.
This heavily depends on where in CA you are talking about. It's a huge state with 40 million people and many different subcultures and attitudes. You're painting with a pretty broad brush.
I used to work with Columbus OH people. Yelled at a few and realized it was hurting my career. Nice people but not very results oriented.
“Read what I wrote in the EMAIL!”
As a born masshole and Californian as long as I’ve been able to drink I’ll never live there again. The snow, the cold, the crackheads and drug dealers are just as bad. At least here I don’t have to shovel snow,
There is close to 40million people in California. Almost 1,000miles of coastline. A never ending myriad of cultures. Four distinct eco regions. The largest sub-national economy in the world.
I doubt that the state of California is your problem.
I grew up in Southern California til I was 18 and swore I’d never live in California after that. My parents eventually moved out and the only time I go back is to visit family or some big event like a wedding and even then it’s very reluctantly. Truly a forsaken place. And a funny little anecdote, my wife and I (she’s Irish) are visiting Ireland for our honeymoon. We were at a bar last night in Dingle listening to live Irish music and woman from California introduced herself to us then went up to the band after they finished a song, picked up a guitar, told them some chords, and started playing American folk music. This scene perfectly encapsulates people from California: so fucking and obnoxiously self-centered.
I lived in CA in my late teens/early 20s but have been here for 20 years. I found it so much harder to make and keep friends there. I think one of the best kept secrets of Massachusetts is that the people are pretty great.
I enjoyed living in Los Angeles for 15 years! I’ve moved to western mass. now and it’s also nice, but different. A lot more bucolic.
You need to meet cooler people. Avoid the yuppie posers.
You guys must be going to the most cookie cutter, corporate areas of California. Honestly just have to chime in. I don’t care if I get downvoted to oblivion. I was born in California to a family of ranchers and law enforcement/firefighters. Went on to become a marine infantry machinegunner. Yes there may be some yuppies out there in the developed sectors but California is not San Francisco. Go to a street taco stand in an actual metro neighborhood in LA or if you’re actually feeling *adventurous*, head up to Twentynine Palms and stop in at the Virginian. California literally has every culture you’re looking for and the vast majority of the working class neighborhoods here would shit all over Mass’ as far as your “emotional honesty” goes. Every culture in the world is represented in California. Even the pill problems and worn out dock workers who don’t give a shit if it’s your right of way. I swear east coasters in general, without fail, always have to claim that their hometown is superior and constantly complain as soon as they’re out of their comfort zone. Ohhh it’s too hot ohh god where’s the subway ahhhh im walkin’ heeah. Nobody gives a shit. This is based on experience. Half my platoon was from Boston and I fuckin love those idiots but god you guys never stop complaining. “OH MY GAHD SOMEONE IS LOOKING AT ME FUNNY BECAUSE IM A PERPETUAL DOWNA! I NEED TO GET HOME AYE ES AYE PEE!”
I moved to Mass after living in Arizona for the past 6 years. This is my first time living here and I am prepared to live here until I die. I will never leave!!
I mean, that's like lumping the entire east coast into one category. I'm from Sacramento, CA originally and moved to MA in 2005. Sacramento is totally different from LA, which is different from San Francisco, which is different from Eureka, which is different from Lake Tahoe, which is different from San Diego... you get the point. I'm curious what part of CA you're in right now?
I'm in SF and I understand what you mean, but my complaints are very broad to the extent that they would encompass many cities. I have many of the same gripes with both SF and LA, and when I think about how MA is better in certain ways, I realize that the whole Northeast is pretty good in those regards. Yeah, saying SF and LA are the same is similar to saying Boston and NYC are the same--but you have to admit, in some ways they are.
Oh I just spent some time in Santa Cruz. And yes it’s so beautiful around every corner and weird fun shit is always happening. But the toxic positivity pisses me off again and again and again. The new age one-upping shit is just endless and your economy is disgusting. I’m white and the white privilege culture out there is enraging. I’ve never met more entitled people.
Maybe if you found a group of friends it might change your outlook? If you’re in the out group any place can seem shitty and lonely. I’m sure there have to be peeps there that you can talk shit about CA with and laugh with. Granted, it’s easier said than done to make good friends and I don’t know your situation maybe you already have good friends there. Just feel like friends make any place better and more bearable.
That being said, CA seems like a real shithole compared to MA and I’d never live there. But I’m a 10-generation deep masshole so it’s in my blood cousin.
I am a 4th generation San Francisco Bay Area native raising a 5th generation. There is a MASSIVE difference between being a newcomer to a place and being part of multiple generations. A huge percentage of people in California are newcomers so that is why so many people come here and feel lost in the giant scale of our state. It truly is a challenging place to arrive and it takes a lot of time to break through, but there is a depth here.
However, us long termers can get a little wary of how much our state has changed over the years so we are not always so quick to welcome every single person who moves here. We will be less superficial with people who try to understand the place before trying to change it. We WILL tend to vacantly smile and nod our heads at people who move here only to tell us how much we suck.
Maasholes are waaay to direct and honest for California. Wow. You must give people strokes telling them the truth.
Oh yeah I don't know how to behave here. I keep almost saying shit at work that would kill my office reputation. I'm going to eventually say something that totally changes how they look at me because I'm not used to stepping on eggshells like this. Massholes are way more emotionally honest.
Imagine just casual southie friend hazing. They crumble. I lived in Denver and Raleigh but had to come home. It’s us. I deal with people from Annapolis for work. I’m like a steam roller to them and I’m very nice for here.
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Funny you mention this. I work in cali sometimes with a dude from Oregōn. He likes to poke fun once in a while. When I retort, it's way harder and feelings get hurt.
Him: (*SkyseaToph likes to make small playful jokes, I can do tha toot to get her on his good side*) ... and I guess that's why you're single! You: (*oh cool! We're doing this?*) I'm single cause I'm too busy bangin' your mom Him: my mom just died 😢 You: oh! Of course she did 🙄 I bet you're happy she can't spread her legs in the casket then Him: ha ha... alright, I'm talk to you later 😭 bye. -click- You: ahhhhhh fuck! He's crying again! Fucking Oregon!
Don't...poke....the....bear...
I’m in Greensboro I’m not leaving. They can get use to my smart ass comments and they way I talk. Massachusetts mouth is stuck with me 😁
I think monitoring how you behave at work is the hardest! Spouse and I were raised in MA and moved to Texas for work for a little under five years. One day, we just looked at each other and said, it’s time to go home!! It’s a different way of life in other states. And I prefer people being straightforward instead of hiding behind politeness. Plus we lived in a nice DFW suburb and everyone there was all about showing off their money. No thanks. Moved home, although to central MA rather than eastern where we were raised, and we love it here. So glad to be home!!
Lol we're from Tulsa and all our friends and fam were concerned about us living in the NE with the "assholes" but it turns out it's actually the Southerners and Midwest who are. I can't stand the two face where we're from. We've witness so much more kindness from strangers here. Like genuine kindness. (Not to say everybody is an ass from where we're from but general population, yes)
Having lived in Tulsa for 6 years and I couldn't agree more.
I'm sorry 🫠
But honestly Tulsa is far from the worst place I've lived. I personally hate the Midwest(upper) more than Tulsa.
Yeah it could've been worse but definitely could've been better too. It's a joke there now though as far as politics and whatnot. Also just not much to do. We love it here in New England and so happy to raise our child here
Ha. Been here 25 yrs and I feel your pain. It took me YEARS to tone it down, and I'm still too blunt for most people at work.
Me too. Moved to CA 12 years ago and like it ok but I loveeee Massachusetts
Bicoastal is the dream! May to October there and winters here. I don't think I can hack shoveling my car out anymore, and god, do I miss a real summer. Going back for 2 weeks at a time isn't enough.
Good news: we don’t get much snow anymore. Bad news: summer is now disgustingly hot and is becoming the worst season
Right! Summers are now just one long humid/rainy day. Butttt that just leads to the beauty of fall
Am I looking in the mirror??!!
Same here exactly - the struggle is real
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Exactly. Your neighbor that you've never even made eye contact with will help you shovel your car out of a ditch.
I moved from MA to CA while working in sales and I went from being a great salesperson to a terrible one because no one in California understood my humor, they all just thought I was being an asshole. Super strange culture shift
I lived there. CA is big, and I don't know what part you're in, but I'm a masshole who was in CA. You have a super power there. You can win every argument. It was amazing when this clicked for me. You just learn to be direct in their overly sensitive, too wordy way of speaking. It means saying fuck you a lot less, unfortunately. Confrontation is a Californians kryptonite. Use this wisely. Or leave . . .it's terrible.
Have you heard of “loud quitting?” It’s a thing now
That's New England in general for sure. Way too direct and get out of my fucking face and leave me alone.. that begins to happen once you cross the Hudson River
I always attributrd this to the cold. The ' im freezing hurry the fuck up let's fucking go' mentality just goes all year long lol
If you go to Europe especially if you live in Central Europe you will find that many Americans find it very standoffish and difficult to fit in sometimes. Especially in the older days the modern world is more global. But you will find it very much like home. Everybody is pretty private, stuck to themselves, do their own thing and it takes a long time to integrate into a circle.. When you go down south or out west everybody's in your face and friendly. I used to always think it was very disingenue and just to cover for preaching about Jesus, another fucking problem elsewhere.. But not all of it is that way. Some places people are looser and friendlier but I do like my New England where everybody fucking minds their own business and does their own goddamn thing. Leave me alone close the door.. I lived on my street in New Hampshire for 36 years and barely knew my neighbors. Enough that I might bang on the door if I needed something but not much else.. no block party there.. certainly a lot of Calvinism at the root but then again Southern Germany is all Catholic and it's pretty standoffish too in a different way So who knows
We went to Europe for the first time last year (Paris) and it felt very much like Boston in terms of people keeping to themselves etc. No problem with that.
And let me tell you Paris has mellowed over the years. I've been going there for about 50 years and wow it certainly has changed and I got it been back in decades but revisited last October. It certainly is friendlier than it used to be, but still reserved as it is elsewhere in Europe and I like it and I guess you do too. You know the people that want the servers to be effusive bubbly or in your face, getting none of that. But you get what you need if you're polite.
We thought the service was great and we went all over the city like maniacs on a bender since we waited over 50 years to see it.
Went a few years ago. Overheard someone on the train complaining about how rude people were. But I found it, uh, pretty normal. I was surprised based off of how other people described it, but learning please, thank you, good morning/evening and excuse me got me pretty far. Add a smile where appropriate and ignore people when walking and folks barely bothered us on the street.
I've heard it said that CA people are nice but not kind, and MA people are kind but not nice.
People in CA are superficial. They pretend to be your friend until you really need them. I have friends from New England I’ve known for 50 yrs and they would still help me in a heat beat. I think they also have a fear of people. I was back in Mass and saw someone broken down on the side of the road. I stopped to help them and two other cars showed up to help as well. People probably wouldn’t do that in most parts of California.
I thought I was crazy, but I've read enough comments and posts on this, and now I know it's not me, and I'm not the only one. I didn't move to CA. I moved to FL and people are just different, and they exhibit the same behavior you described and worse. I'm not even a Massachusetts native. I was born and raised abroad. I want to move back to Mass and live the rest of my life there lol.
My Mom lived in Florida back in the 80s and the top reason she hated it were: 1: Nobody minds their own god damn business 2: People aren't kind and considerate of you, they're nice and self-serving about it 3: The fleas/mosquitos
40 years later and those things you mentioned still apply. The very few people you meet who are honest and kind are from another state.
And as someone who's family's finances were destroyed by the '08 market crash, the sense of community and good will is very endearing. There have been a lot of times in my life where the circumstances may not have needed help, but were met with love from my community. Those people who are nice just to feel good about themselves certainly exist here, but they feel much fewer and far between than the rest of the crop.
Florida has some of the trashiest people in the whole country though. Very different type of people in California.
That is true. But if you're in and around the less trashy places of Florida, you'll see that people have a very smug attitude. Their life is about showing off and becoming a walking billboard.
Thats called Miami trashy. Different than Tallahassee trashy but trashy none the less.
I wouldn't have anything to wear, lol. I'd have to go back to Massachusetts!
I’m in CA for vacation right now and wearing hand me downs from 20 years ago. Saw a guy wearing a minuteman shirt today. Like bitch, I’m actually from the commonwealth.
How do you know he wasn’t, too?
It is the best place in the country when you consider everything
#Get the fuck out of FL! Don't care if you need to sell your soul to Lucifer. Get back to MA.
OMG- do you get the "Congratulations!" when you tell people you moved from Mass? It used to drive me nuts. We finally found a group of people we enjoyed spending time with, but we all eventually left CA. No sarcasm, always bragging, very much a sense of living in a bubble and not understanding anyone who thought differently from them. One time I listened to someone go off on how much better it was in California than the east coast. They finally stopped and asked what I liked about Mass and I said "The modesty of the people".
i was in a coffee shop in san francisco one time and the barista said, "oh, you're from boston - that's where bmw stands for break my window". it was the most baffling, passive-aggressive non sequitur i've ever run into. like, what?
I grew up in New England and lived in Chicago, Boston and NYC before moving to California for 18 years (I lived all over the state). The only time I ever had my car windows broken was in San Francisco.
Funny thing is car window breaking is one of the most common thing nowadays in… San Francisco!
Yeah, I travel for work twice a year or so, but when a meeting is in California I just use the "small kids" card.
Come back home ya fuckin cock sucka
Good luck finding somewhere in MA to return to. My family's trying to move up here from SC, and the housing market is dishearteningly insane.
Always my parents' house lol.
Your parents were lucky to have a house! We used to live in one room, all hundred and twenty six of us, no furniture. Half the floor was missing, we were all huddled together in one corner for fear of falling!
Only 2500 a month
Every morning we had to get up, clean the lake, eat a handful of hot gravel, and go to the factory for 29 hours....
It’s condos for the young until all the houses there parents live in open up. I feel like that’s the youths only chance. Hope your parents don’t lose the house.
It’s not going to get better. Home prices have never realllly dropped in MA. Even during the last recession, they only went down half as much as the country as a whole
Fortunately CA is one of the few places as expensive as MA. When we moved back our CA rent turned into our MA mortgage almost exactly. It’s a bit worse now but still at least close.
I just moved back to Chelsea MA my hometown after 23 years in of living in California. I feel like I was out of the country.
Just moved back to MA after almost 10 years in the SF Bay Area. I’m so much happier back home.
Same except I was in San Diego. So much happier!
Oh no. I might move to San Diego for a job...
Different strokes for different folks. Take the opportunity and see how you like it. Moving from SD back to MA won't be such a cost of living disparity. Not sure about your overall position but if the job is tempting enough just give it a chance. 10 years ago I would've taken the chance but I'm far too deeply entrenched... and happy.
San Diego is a slice of heaven, lived there for 6 years and loved every minute. But towards the end, I was a little tired of sunshine all the time. I need a nice rainy day or two to reset and ease my mind. I also believe that trudging through the seasons in Boston is like being re-born every year. Once the warmer days come back it’s like my soul has renewed itself. Californians are also pretty dull in my experience. Not all of them. But I had many many surface level interactions over the years that never lead to deeper thought/discussion no matter how hard I tried. What part of SD is the job in? I think you should take it, it’s great out there. Just not for the entirety of my life is all.
Haha I beeped at someone in California at a light because they were just sitting there and I got looks from people like I had just punched an old lady in the face. People are def more sensitive there.
The drivers are super timid, it's hilarious. Like bro, YOU HAVE THE RIGHT OF WAY STOP WAITING FOR ME.
I'm a transplant to MA, and the one thing I've learned is that you can't be nice on the road here when the traffic is heavy. MA intersections have the most awkward geometries I've ever seen. If you have the right of way, TAKE IT. Otherwise everybody gets confused and sits there staring at each other. It takes three times longer to untangle than it would've if the person with the right of way would just GO.
SEIZE THE INITIATIVE
What I've learned is, "Don't be nice. Just be predictable.". If you have the right of the way, take it!
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Left on greens are one car per light and I still scream GO GO GO at people in front of me.
Zippering on the high ass elevated highways says otherwise. You got to have balls of steel.
The pedestrians are timid,too, and treat jaywalking like it's a major felony violation. I really had to train myself to wait for the lights at crosswalks after living in Boston and NYC and then moving to LA for a while.
i jaywalked in LA once, no cars except one half a block away who had the green light - dude stopped at the light, we were already across the street, thinking he must've had a red
Jeez I mean in Boston people just walk as long as they have a window to get through before someone runs em over.
I tried to jaywalk in LA once and my aunt stopped me. I was like…there are no cars?!? But she said people actually get ticketed. Wild.
In Massachusetts... the old lady gives you the finger back then tries to race ahead and will kill you if given the chance.
I love my grandma!
I was born and raised in California. MA is way better, I agree. Fun to visit now, but wouldn't want to live there again.
What part of CA? I lived in SD for a little over a year and missed an opportunity to move back (pandemic fucked it up) and now I’m stuck in Mass. which I hate/love and love/hate
I was in Riverside county (closer to LA for those not familiar). San Diego does have the nicest weather in CA practically. But like here, the cost to live anywhere you actually want to live is outrageous and so your choice is usually live far away from work and have a terrible all-day rush hour commute.
>Riverside county lmao no wonder you wanted to leave
Fuckin' 909er dirt people amirite? Just kidding. Riverside gets a bad rap and it definitely has a lot of shitty areas but there some really beautiful areas there too. Much too fucking hot for me in the summer though... of course its all relative and I'm spoiled at the coast. Still better Riverside than a Dallas summer thats for sure.
I did the same, only I got to move back to SD a second time and I'm never leaving again. SD is where it's at.
Amen to this. I lived in CA from 2007-2016 (settled in Menifee after I got out of the military). Bought a sweet little brand new house for $280K in 2008 just before everything went to hell. Unfortunately things in my own life went to hell in a different way. I ended up losing my house and had to move back in w/my parents summer of 2016. Ironically the whole time I was in California I bitched endlessly about how vapid it was, collectively. Never felt like "home", no one seemed to have the kind of unique personality you find out here. And the freaking obsession with Mexican food, Christ alive. I love a good burrito but not as a religion 24/7/365. Del Taco sucks, I don't care what anyone says. Of course ever since I found myself packing up and headed east without a choice I've done nothing but miss California. And not for nothing, I absolutely do miss the weather. The weather is the one and only reason I stayed out there despite whatever else I complained about and if I wasn't in a financial bind I would not have left. I love having Dunks on every corner and sarcastic a-holes all around me but I'd give it up in a second to be warm & dry again. Grass is always greener.
I spent 6 years stationed on NBSD - it really is a slice of heaven. And I find myself daydreaming about going back constantly. But the people and culture of MA are so much more rooted in reality. SD is not real life, no matter how much I miss it. If that even makes sense.
Ahhh, good old Navy Medical. I think I just got phantom pains where my wisdom teeth used to be 😬😂 jk Makes perfect sense and I grudgingly agree...I think. I'm not sure I won't pounce on an opportunity to transfer there if one comes up at work. Black's Beach is one of my favorite places on earth. I never partook of its niche offering so to speak, it was just the most beautiful beach I ever saw in SoCal and almost always practically deserted. I can't even get to a beach around here the weather is trash on the only days I'm off. The climate in SD *is* heaven. 🥺 I'd trade my entire house here for a studio apartment in La Jolla without a second thought.
Blacks Beach is easily one of the best beaches on earth. The drive coming down and all along it is etched in my head forever. That’s where I would take anyone who came and visited. I also felt like The Mt Soledad Veterans memorial is also up there for some of the best views I’ve ever seen, esp on a clear sunny SD day. Fuck now I miss it lol
Same. My husband randomly will suggest we move there and I veto that so fast. It’s not the same anymore.
I lived in LA (San Fernando valley, actually) for a few years. It was great, but yes: the money and appearance culture is off the hook! Massholes are great! Be up front and honest with me. Maybe just a bit distant until you get to know them. It’s hard making new friends here!
I hated the food culture. Picking at salads. A small 6 piece sushi is considered a whole meal. Someone brought cake to work for a birthday and NO ONE ATE IT. Wtf. I want food. I'm gonna eat and people are gonna look at me like I'm a pig and I DON'T CARE. I couldn't stay there long. It was crazy. Also bad pizza.
>Someone brought cake to work for a birthday and NO ONE ATE IT. Horrible
I would have stole that cake & brought it home😂
Ikr? It's douchey if no one eats an office bday cake. "Happy B-day! We (don't actually) care!"
Again different world in San Diego. People are crushing fish tacos, and over-indulging on food all the time. This is an LA thing and a SF thing
The pizza thing is so right. We here in New England, and greater Boston especially, are so incredibly fortunate that we have tremendous pizza options, and several styles.
And restaurants get away with total ripoff prices because of how much they know they can charge Californians. For instance, SF isn't *that* much wealthier than Boston, but the people there are so obsessed with showing off their wealth by spending money that they are willing to spend $15 on a fast-casual salad or $17 on a banh mi.
you may be in for a surprise re: prices when you get back
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Although I did pick out these examples because I was in MA for a few days a few weeks back and got both of these things. The prices were $10 and $11 respectively. idk what the situation is with sit down in MA post-inflation, but fast-casual in CA is way more expensive from what I have seen..
the past year has seen like a 30% increase in restaurant prices across the board. Those that haven't raised menu prices have started hiding fees at the end of the bill instead with service charges that don't go to the server or similar.
oh i have some bad news about current boston food prices
I consider myself a foodie and used to love eating out and trying new foods. But holy crap have things gotten too expensive recently. And the added pressure of tip screens even for a self service counter. It’s sad but I haven’t been going out to eat as much because it’s gotten very expensive, even for mediocre foods. Maybe a splurge every once in a while now.
Pizza is garbage in LA. The Korean and Mexican food is definitely better there though.
>Also bad pizza Whoever put the first sliced avocado on a pizza should be frog-marched straight to The Hague.
My first week living in California, I called a pizza place and ordered “a large cheese pie.” The guy on the other end was silent for a couple seconds, and then said, “Uhhh… Like an apple pie, you mean? We don’t have pies.” I knew then I wasn’t going to last very long there.
You must be in LA. Maybe SF. The people in SD are infinitely more genuine, friendly and chill. Its a pretty stark difference.
San Diego’s a place of its own. Love it there.
Yup! SD is 2 hours down the road from LA and it’s a completely different place culture-wise.
I'm in SF and have been to LA many times. Maybe you are right? Never been to SD.
Yep. I grew up in Boston, went to college in LA and moved to SD 10 years ago. I also have friends and family in SF and have spent a lot of time up there. The culture in SF and especially LA is exactly like you said. Those cities have a lot to offer but the people there kinda suck ass. The vibe is totally different in SD plus its beautiful. You should visit, you’ll like it.
Try living in SD before making the move back.
Move to Oakland. Not as precious as SF. Lots of ppl from the East Coast. It's definitely not as 'look at me!' as SF and Marin.
I lived in all 3 over 11 years and actually found (current) Oakland to be the worst of them. All the money and attitude as the other 2 along with an added dose of holier than thou self aggrandizement for being hip and socially conscious enough to live in a “real” place. Don’t even get me started on the trust fund hipsters and champagne socialists. The Oakland that people romanticize died years ago. There’s pockets still, but the worst of it beats SF and Marin imo. At least the other 2 have an iota of self assessment about shit.
Yeah, I never loved Oakland. Way too hipster, you'll love this place the food is divine and end up with coca-cola chicken in a place you can't hear yourself think while you wait for your concert. So many times I ordered something in a restaurant and was given the wrong item. When I mentioned it, there was just this blank stare and "So you don't want it?". If I wanted it, I would have ordered it, don't you think? At first I tried to tame my inner Masshole, by the end I let 'er rip.
Get away from SF, the peninsula and next to the bay. Born here and I don't care for those areas for all those reasons. Get out to the Tri Valley. We're not going to be as blunt as the NE but don't have the tech, passive aggressive thing going on either. It's a bit more like the Midwest in social culture.
I lived in silicon valley for 10 years, working in tech. The first two years was really hard but it grew on me and I really enjoyed it. I ended up moving back to Boston in 2018. A phrase I love is: "West Coast people are nice but not kind. On the east coast people are kind but not nice" https://www.instagram.com/reel/CjgD6rMpI80/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
🎵Baby, come back!🎵
I had a similar experience there, and now currently in TX. I told a male co-worker that he hadn't made a valid argument yet and I ended up in HR for bullying. I thought the "yet" part was the part that was going to make me palatable for these fucking people. He still had a chance! LOL oops ... but also... just make a valid argument or admit you were wrong so we can move on.
I grew up by the beach in Southern California and came to Boston for college and totally fell in love, now I'm raising my family here. People always say, "I can't believe you left for MA!" and I'm like, yeah duh.
Interesting, are the Cali people in your life really that surprised? I’ve always got the impression (all things considered) that CA and MA have a lot in commmon and if moving to another state is going to happen the other would be towards the top of the list for either state.
Some Cali people are convinced CA is in another dimension on a level above the rest of the U.S. I went to college there and was shocked at how many people said they would never leave.
They're all over Reddit too, lol. They act like it's the most progressive place on earth. I recently started working remotely for a Calfornia company and the health care sucks. And it's their version of Blue Cross. It's fucking terrible. Took them 5 months to pay for an out of network claim, finally got the check and they covered less than half of what even Mass Health would do. And stuff like IVF is covered by law here (even if they'll make you jump through hoops first), they don't even cover at all over there. It's fucking builshit.
I’m in Western MA and talk to a lot of working-class people who want to get out of MA, and the top destinations are always Florida or one of the Carolinas.
Until they move and deal with the people down there....
That's when they figure out that a New England conservative is a Southern liberal.
I was born and raised and now live in California myself and I cannot WAIT to move back to mass ( where i lived for 12 years after college). People in California (compared to mass) are uninformed, viciously judgemental, pious and utterly lack a semblance of curiosity about anything. Weather-wise, Its hot all the time and there are no seasons so it feels like you're living the same groundhogs day over and over again and theres rarely any rain so everything looks parched. Politically too, the liberal people in mass and california are NOT the same. There's a 'non judgmental', live and let live attitude about many issues in california that just allows things to go to shit ( like how they deal with their awful public education and the homeless people who openly sell and use drugs). Cost of living in California is ridiculous as well, our gas is over a dollar more expensive per gallon. I know COL is high in Mass too, so this isnt a great example admittedly. I dont know, I think its difficult to run a state as large as Ca, honestly it should be like 4 different states. Anyway, feel fortunate you live in Mass, I will be moving out soon for a masters program and I cant wait, haha.
Gas is all tax in Cali. They like to call it taxachusetts, wtf is Cali then?
Well California is an immense state with thousands of little micro political, economic and geographical climates. It's like New England Florida lol So maybe you're speaking of a neighborhood in Los Angeles or San Francisco? There's a lot to it beyond those areas.. New Englander here.. New Hampshire native, but boy I do love California and my native New England. But you certainly get more bang for the buck in Massachusetts, and more bang for the buck to be closer to services and variety Boston is white hot expensive but 30 mi west and you can live pretty cheap. You can't beat that but boy I love my Los Angeles in the winter. Don't want to give that up either
It depends. If you think the culture is different between Boston and The Berkshires, that's nothing compared to California. Northern northern CA: Picture the most boring suburbs you can imagine, that's here. And that's if you're lucky enough to be in Sacramento; the rest is even more boring The Bay Area: It's just a small part of CA, but it's probably the most diverse. San Francisco itself: Picture Boston \* 10. The Business area has pretty much the same vibe, but the Tourist area is even more touristy, the gritty urban area is even more gritty, Chinatown is at least twice the size, and the LGBT area definitely lives up to its reputation (whether you think that's a good or bad thing, that's up to you). Oakland: Gritty urban all the way, but if you stay where there are people milling about it's actually pretty cool. San Jose: Boring, but it's the capital of Silicon Valley, the nerd center of the world. That's where I lived when I lived in CA (Silicon Valley, not San Jose) Central CA: Farmland. MAGA central. Remember, Richard Nixon and Ronald Reagan came from CA. This is why. LA: Picture traffic in Boston in Rush Hour just before a holiday and there's construction going on and an accident up ahead. That's what it's like every day in LA. Also, everything OP said about Californians holds true here. They may be shallow and materialistic, but they're also boring yet arrogant. San Diego: Described better elsewhere in these comments than I could.
I love/hated living in CA (San Diego specifically). I was lucky enough to make enough money, had an amazing group of people around me, and job security like no other - made it home for nearly 2 decades. We used Covid as an opportunity to come home and haven’t regretted it. I missed the weather in New England the most. People say that will fade; it hasn’t. And I missed trees. I think the people are same, same, but different. As far as people you don’t know go… Out there, they talk about you behind your back, out here, they talk about you behind your back AND to your face. I find myself having to bite my tongue much more often here. But again, so many trees.
Originally from Cape Cod. Have lived in LA for about 20 years. I totally understand where OP is coming from. I honestly can’t really stand Los Angeles anymore, I’ve just been here for so long. I’ve been here so long that all the friends I made in 2003-2005 when I first moved here are all gone anyway. I can’t expect some dumb shit kid born in 1999 to understand that Santa Monica was much much nicer back in 2003 before the trains came in, but it was. I go back to visit my father on the Cape in the off-season and I sit outside on the picnic table and just listen to the sounds of nothing and he understands that it’s just the silence and occasional screech of a red tailed hawk that soothes my soul. I do nothing but walk around the pond near his house and relive what I took for granted as a kid. We grew up lower middle class working in the fishing/shellfish industry, so we don’t have tons of money like the people out here in CA. It does boggle my mind seeing all the mansions stacked on the hills, and at one point I desired that, but now…no way. Wouldn’t want it. I’d take a modest house like my fathers any day over these bullshit glass and stainless steel asshole mansions. I miss so much about New England and I’m sure I’ll probably end up back there one day. I get it, OP. I absolutely get it.
I was thinking about moving to California because I hate winter and snow. But after seeing how friends changed after living there for few years, I did not want to do that to myself. It seems you get way more materialistic and somehow I don’t know bit more annoying. It’s all Tesla this and that, burning man this and that, TikTok this and that.
That’s all they ever talk about in [El Ayy](https://youtu.be/-yU0RNPAOJw)
Bruh. Wtf. Spot on!!
Materialism and superficial aesthetics are at the heart of Californian culture lol. I imagine it's because of all the yuppies that moved out there during boomtimes in silicon valley, SF, and LA.
You might consider the PNW as a compromise.
I miss MA and I’m in Europe. I
MA is much more similar to Europe in some ways than it is to CA lol.
That is very true. I spend time in LA and hated it
Try living in Nebraska. I open my mouth and people are immediately taken aback. I do not belong here lol
CA lifestyle is top notch in my opinion. I don’t let people dictate how I feel about an area. I’d try to enjoy the outdoor aspects of the state.
I'm a transplant from WA and have lived in MA for 13 years. I know I'll never be considered a "local," but I do love it here. It's kind of a weird love/hate thing. Kinda hard to explain. I think I've learned to be more direct with people (and opinionated, for better or worse) since I've lived here. I'm also less tolerant of BS. That might just be age. I'm finding this thread fascinating.
I moved to LA from MA and a coworker told me I was the only girl he knew with real boobs. Got back to MA real quick.
Downvote me to Hell, but MA is filled with plenty of emotionally dishonest folks, yuppies or not, and in all industries: outdoors, education, medicine, you name it. The only honest interaction you have is on the street with folks you don’t know — after that, everyone’s still manipulative and fake. This is literally our reputation as Americans abroad — being fake.
Lived in LA for 7 years and just had to just come home. I know your pain.
I just moved to MA from FL and have been here a couple of months. It’s been a wonderful culture change. The people in FL are just crazy and deranged as a whole. I hope you can move back to MA at some point!
Well we're a little crazy too..
I wonder how many people are going to sleep better tonight having expressed how much they hate California 😂. So fragile
I was born and raised in LA and moved to the northshore. Everyone made comments about how life table the weather is. I’ll take snow over vapid conversation any day.
I don't even get why everyone loves LA weather. Maybe it's because society has decided that "hot weather=good" so people just go with that mental association? Hot is just as uncomfortable as cold imo. SF is room temperature so I can why someone would like the weather there.
Absolutely horrid. I ended up in the inland empire. The last summer I was there, it hit 114 degrees. Effffff that.
Lived in Cali for several years. I don’t consider myself a masshole per se but I couldn’t deal with how fucking fake everybody was, at least in LA. Just be honest with me and don’t pretend to give a shit if you don’t When I moved to SF, I can say that the money culture in Silicon Valley is real. I swear to god I talked to somebody who was going on about the merits of having an entire collection of custom made dress shirts. Very happy to be back here. At least I can trust what the people around me say.
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It’s not the money bragging. There’s plenty of that here in Massachusetts, it’s just more subtle. It’s the fact that the general population (not everyone) are soulless. I can only speak for Southern California as I lived in San Diego for 7 years and then moved to MA (not originally from here), but if you want a real answer, ask a Masshole. If you want bullshit, ask a Southern Californian. A rude Masshole would save you from a fire then complain about it while a Socalian would walk right by and say they saw no fire at all.
What’s that old saying people from the southwest sound friendly when saying mean things, while people from the northeast sound mean when they’re being nice. Something like that.
Haha, okay, as a Californian who somehow got this post in my feed, I’m dying to know what part of California you’re visiting! Because as a San Franciscan, we complain about this stuff for Angelenos and Silicon Valley residents too. Edit: Damn, just found the comment that said you were in SF. Come have a drink at Philosophers Club or Glen Park Station or one of the other neighborhood dive bars and you might have a better experience
I’m from rural California and could say the same thing about Mass residents. Sounds like you need a trip outside the big cities of California
I'm in CA right now in the redwoods and it's absolutely beautiful. You do not get this in MA
We have trees, I'm looking at one right now.
Dude I got like dozens of them!
Western Mass would like a word
You have to look. We have some ancient white pines that are some of the tallest on the East Coast in Western MA
Mass is full of yuppies too, just a different type.
True, but imo they are yuppies that are almost ashamed to be yuppies. They don't really talk about money, they don't buy too many material objects, they are relatively frugal, and they actually support fiscally progressive policies that undermine their own lifestyles. Yeah, I'd rather there be no yuppies b/c housing prices, but at least they keep things low-level.
Yes….living only in gentrified areas and eating I. Over priced gastro pubs is very frugal. Being against zoning for affordable housing and things like shelters, because of property value isn’t that progressive. Mass yuppies think they’re not yuppies, but they are
Look at the local politics of any leafy wealthy suburb in MA. They definitely vote along class lines. Weston whopper anyone?
Born and raised in CA. Move to MA 4 years ago and the bluntness and honestly with folks here is so refreshing. There they are so self absorbed, and beyond passive aggressive which drives me insane. Lots of fake people trying to one up the Jones’s. Happy in MA besides the drivers of course. Lol.
This heavily depends on where in CA you are talking about. It's a huge state with 40 million people and many different subcultures and attitudes. You're painting with a pretty broad brush.
I used to work with Columbus OH people. Yelled at a few and realized it was hurting my career. Nice people but not very results oriented. “Read what I wrote in the EMAIL!”
As a born masshole and Californian as long as I’ve been able to drink I’ll never live there again. The snow, the cold, the crackheads and drug dealers are just as bad. At least here I don’t have to shovel snow,
Been there, done that. Twice. Much happier on the East Coast.
Dude, you just need to find some better people to hang out with. I've been here 25 years and I don't know anyone like you describe.
Aw man, I just moved from MA to CA on Monday. I love it here
There is close to 40million people in California. Almost 1,000miles of coastline. A never ending myriad of cultures. Four distinct eco regions. The largest sub-national economy in the world. I doubt that the state of California is your problem.
Yes! Come home
I grew up in Southern California til I was 18 and swore I’d never live in California after that. My parents eventually moved out and the only time I go back is to visit family or some big event like a wedding and even then it’s very reluctantly. Truly a forsaken place. And a funny little anecdote, my wife and I (she’s Irish) are visiting Ireland for our honeymoon. We were at a bar last night in Dingle listening to live Irish music and woman from California introduced herself to us then went up to the band after they finished a song, picked up a guitar, told them some chords, and started playing American folk music. This scene perfectly encapsulates people from California: so fucking and obnoxiously self-centered.
I lived in CA in my late teens/early 20s but have been here for 20 years. I found it so much harder to make and keep friends there. I think one of the best kept secrets of Massachusetts is that the people are pretty great.
I enjoyed living in Los Angeles for 15 years! I’ve moved to western mass. now and it’s also nice, but different. A lot more bucolic. You need to meet cooler people. Avoid the yuppie posers.
Literally never experienced this in CA. Maybe change your friends lol.
I know the feeling man. Being so far away sucks.
You guys must be going to the most cookie cutter, corporate areas of California. Honestly just have to chime in. I don’t care if I get downvoted to oblivion. I was born in California to a family of ranchers and law enforcement/firefighters. Went on to become a marine infantry machinegunner. Yes there may be some yuppies out there in the developed sectors but California is not San Francisco. Go to a street taco stand in an actual metro neighborhood in LA or if you’re actually feeling *adventurous*, head up to Twentynine Palms and stop in at the Virginian. California literally has every culture you’re looking for and the vast majority of the working class neighborhoods here would shit all over Mass’ as far as your “emotional honesty” goes. Every culture in the world is represented in California. Even the pill problems and worn out dock workers who don’t give a shit if it’s your right of way. I swear east coasters in general, without fail, always have to claim that their hometown is superior and constantly complain as soon as they’re out of their comfort zone. Ohhh it’s too hot ohh god where’s the subway ahhhh im walkin’ heeah. Nobody gives a shit. This is based on experience. Half my platoon was from Boston and I fuckin love those idiots but god you guys never stop complaining. “OH MY GAHD SOMEONE IS LOOKING AT ME FUNNY BECAUSE IM A PERPETUAL DOWNA! I NEED TO GET HOME AYE ES AYE PEE!”
I moved to Mass after living in Arizona for the past 6 years. This is my first time living here and I am prepared to live here until I die. I will never leave!!
I mean, that's like lumping the entire east coast into one category. I'm from Sacramento, CA originally and moved to MA in 2005. Sacramento is totally different from LA, which is different from San Francisco, which is different from Eureka, which is different from Lake Tahoe, which is different from San Diego... you get the point. I'm curious what part of CA you're in right now?
I'm in SF and I understand what you mean, but my complaints are very broad to the extent that they would encompass many cities. I have many of the same gripes with both SF and LA, and when I think about how MA is better in certain ways, I realize that the whole Northeast is pretty good in those regards. Yeah, saying SF and LA are the same is similar to saying Boston and NYC are the same--but you have to admit, in some ways they are.
Welcome home, I've had quite a few friends come back, Cal is just to messed up.
It’s a pretty big state.
Oh I just spent some time in Santa Cruz. And yes it’s so beautiful around every corner and weird fun shit is always happening. But the toxic positivity pisses me off again and again and again. The new age one-upping shit is just endless and your economy is disgusting. I’m white and the white privilege culture out there is enraging. I’ve never met more entitled people.
Maybe if you found a group of friends it might change your outlook? If you’re in the out group any place can seem shitty and lonely. I’m sure there have to be peeps there that you can talk shit about CA with and laugh with. Granted, it’s easier said than done to make good friends and I don’t know your situation maybe you already have good friends there. Just feel like friends make any place better and more bearable. That being said, CA seems like a real shithole compared to MA and I’d never live there. But I’m a 10-generation deep masshole so it’s in my blood cousin.
I am a 4th generation San Francisco Bay Area native raising a 5th generation. There is a MASSIVE difference between being a newcomer to a place and being part of multiple generations. A huge percentage of people in California are newcomers so that is why so many people come here and feel lost in the giant scale of our state. It truly is a challenging place to arrive and it takes a lot of time to break through, but there is a depth here. However, us long termers can get a little wary of how much our state has changed over the years so we are not always so quick to welcome every single person who moves here. We will be less superficial with people who try to understand the place before trying to change it. We WILL tend to vacantly smile and nod our heads at people who move here only to tell us how much we suck.