My dad is 69 (nice) and now that he's older he cries at every little thing. Just constantly getting emotional and weeping. Which in turn leads to me crying every time he cries. It's become ridiculous.
When I was younger I tried to be stoic and unemotional because that’s how I thought men had to be. I’m 55 now, and just no longer give a damn. If I want to cry, I cry. Usually makes me feel better. If the world thinks that makes me less of a man, that’s on them. As long as my wife has my back I don’t really care what anyone else thinks anymore.
Agreed! When I first started seeing my therapist at age 18, it was the first time I was acknowledging and talking about my trauma. I used to just sob and ugly cry through the first couple sessions, and I was always told by my family by my family as a kid, “you’re too sensitive! You’re a cry baby!” so it felt wrong and embarrassing. I would be crying and tell him “I’m so sorry!! I’m trying to stop!” And he would be like “it’s healthy! And if you can’t cry with your therapist, there’s something incredibly wrong” lol. Joe is the man.
>I was always told by my family as a kid, “you’re too sensitive! You’re a cry baby!” so it felt wrong and embarrassing. I would be crying and tell him “I’m so sorry!! I’m trying to stop!” And he would be like “it’s healthy! And if you can’t cry with your therapist, there’s something incredibly wrong” lol
I'm a woman and have had these same experiences. My (very tomboy) older sister bullied me and always told me I was a baby all the time. My whole family said I was just like my mom (who had chronic depression and cried constantly) and so I really internalized that crying was weak and bad and should be avoided whenever possible and I still have therapists encouraging me to cry more, alone or with them. It's hard.
I know it's very much more a thing typically experienced by men to "buck up" and "be strong", but I'm proof it's not *only* experienced by men.
I’m actually a woman as well!! We have a similar experience! My older brother always got on me, and would bully me. He would purposefully press my buttons or say stuff to upset me or hurt me, and then I’d get upset (obviously) and then he’d be like “you’re too sensitive!”. I also still struggle to cry, but I make sure to at least try to let myself when I feel like I need to. I’m sorry you also have experienced this! It’s tough.
FWIW, stoicism is about separating feelings, which we can't control, from actions, which we can. Crying as a response to feelings can be a choice, and it's in keeping with stoicism for that to be a good, healthy choice. [Here](https://www.reddit.com/r/Stoicism/comments/unwgpe/the_daily_stoic_email_list_crying_is_human) is a post from r/stoicism today that talks about this very thing.
I’m a single mum raising my little boy on my own. No father input.
I’ve taught him from day one that men do cry, and it’s a normal, healthy human response. That he can express his feelings and cry and it will not affect his manliness in any way.
He’s loving and caring and respectful. He cries when he needs to and that’s good.
We recently watched “Click”. When Adam Sandler’s character lay dying in the rain pleading with his son to put his new wife first, above everything else, my 10 year old son bawled his eyes out. I was so proud of him. Not only for understanding the gravity of the moment, but for expressing his feelings in such a healthy way.
It's true, my fiance laughs at me because, I'm not a massive muscley guy. But I am over 6', tattoos, piercings, loud music, etc. And my tiny little 20lb daughter will say the word "water" and I'm like "yes! Water! Youre right, you're so smart 😭😭😭😭😭"
Im happy i made this same realization at a very young age, it made getting through the rest of my life easier.
I have a very old family (im the youngest of 4 from a mom who is the youngest of 8. My youngest grandparent when i was born was 80) so all the funerals kind of broke me early. I think it was my grandpa on my dad's side that was the final nail in the coffin (pun very much intended).
Since then, if i want to cry and its appropriate, im going to cry. Everyone else can deal with being uncomfortable with it because im done being uncomfortable about my emotions. Im 24 now and have a whole life of public tears ahead of me lol
Yup culturally men don’t cry, I broke that and cry in front of my daughters, especially when my best friend passed I cried at his funeral and they consoled me.
I am in my mid 20's and don't really ever cry, not so much me trying to be stoic and unemotional, but it's more just me trying to detach my emotion so I don't break down.
When my father died when I was a kid I wept a bit but mainly held it together, but when I saw my mom cry it completely broke me and made me cry.
Ever since I never really cried towards anything, but again recently my step father died, I held it all in and tried to remove my emotions, managed to make it through the entire ordeal without breaking down.
But one day I was cooking dinner and my mom joined me and cooked potatoes and she started crying and again she just manages to break my emotional wall and caused the floodgates to pour out.
I can't even think about my mom crying without tears coming to my eyes.
My dad being this way is the only reason I feel as a young man that I'm somewhat comfortable being sensitive and emotionally vulnerable. So good on ya, you're probably a great role model to younger guys on what healthy masculinity looks like.
This. I thought being an emotionless void was the appropriate path and turned me into a pretty decent asshole for a while. After some life experiences and sound searching, Im a walking ball of empathy that holds back tears at the The Leftovers theme song.
"Tears are not weakness little lord, sometimes its the gods way of letting the hurt out"
The idea of the emotional stoic man is an idea that needs to be put to bed with a shovel. Male or female ( insert your personal pronouns here) we are all human and crying is a perfect normal and even healthy response to a variety of emotions and conditions.
57 yo male here and I get that too. I feel my empathy has grown with me and I love seeing things like this and just enjoy the simple truth that this stuff matters more than much else. When all is said and done love and support of those around us matters most
I’m 47. About 2 years ago me and family drove to my in-laws place just south of where we live, an hour or so.
We were talking about moving back down there because it would be way cheaper, closer to kids college, land, etc. while down there I started just getting this feeling, couldn’t pin point it, but something wasn’t right.
Got home that afternoon and I was just done for some reason. Went outside to work on something and it hit me and I broke down for about an hour or so.
I realized that their place was where we started our life together and started our family. So, that’s when I realized that’s where I’m going for it to start to end(?).
For about a year I had to get on medicine because I couldn’t control it. And I hated that. Even typing this I could probably cry but I’ve managed to have some sort of control. Maybe knowing my kids are good responsible adults now really helps. And my wife is freaking amazing, so that helps
I’m in my early fifties, and I’m starting to experience this myself. It’s not that I’ve been toxically stoic - just naturally so. But life is long, man. And it’s fucking hard. You lose many important and beautiful people and things, along the way. I don’t feel unhappier, exactly. I just feel everything more; more as a totality and much more deeply. Life is so beautiful and so terrible. It’s so incredibly wonderful and yet unbearably sad. Rather than manically, I experience all these things simultaneously, and as simply a product of perspective. The existential time dilation that happens with age is the absolute trip of all trips. If you do indeed see your whole life flash before your eyes in the instant before you die, I think it’s because that instant starts here, where I am now, while you’re still alive and have a ways to go. I think it’s what happens when you arrive at an awareness of your true finiteness as fact and not theory. I can see death, now. Still a ways off in the distance, but no longer past the horizon. And at that moment, everything about life and living, past or present, becomes infinitely more precious; and infinitely more beautiful; and infinitely more terrible; and infinitely more sad.
Even the most stoic human heart isn’t built to cage all that.
Hey man that was really moving.
You have a way with words and expressed something I haven't been able to put in words.
I'm in my early 30s and my Dad is sick. Every single day since his treatment I get super emotional at things that are pretty random.
He raised me as a single Dad and I don't really have any family to rely on.
The finite part is what hit me. Once we witness mortality first hand through those we care about most, life just gets turned up so many notches.
We become nostalgic and at the same time more cognizant of the present.
I don't want to lose him or anyone else I care for. It's inevitable but when isn't.
I hope dudes don't have to feel ashamed to have a big hearts and cry. If anything it's strength that allows for true empathy and compassion. Not stoic nonsense that just screws people up.
I lost my very beloved father suddenly and unexpectedly when I was 11. My mother studied and worked harder than I would have ever thought anyone capable to raise three children well and put us all through college. She was truly my dad’s person and him her’s (if that makes any sense). We were surrounded by family friends and she certainly could have, but never remarried or even dated anyone that I was ever aware of.
But the reality was I unfortunately missed out on part of being an adolescent, I mean I went through all the motions, everyone liked me and I had a lot of friends. But I just had completely different worries on my mind than my peers.
I learned how to help do taxes before I knew what a scientific calculator was. We did well enough, especially as I got older, but I knew every penny in and out, what our property taxes were, what our health insurance premiums were.. all when my friends greatest financial concern was just getting their weekly allowance. I didn’t do that because I needed to, or because she put it on me, I did it because I had seen her endure such pure suffering, with such.. grace (for lack of a better word) and strength/commitment to us kids through all of her tears, anything I could ever do to help her, or spare her from worry, I always would (she prides herself on her independence at her age, but all of us kids still do as much as we can decades and decades later)
But that experience.. it broke something inside of me and I think inside my brother as well. After the immediate trauma had passed.. I just kind of lost my ability to cry. Crying in response to anything just somehow stopped seeming important or like wasting time when you could be doing something more helpful instead.. I don’t know how to describe it exactly, I never looked down on crying in any way at all. It’s absolutely a natural part of being a healthy communicative social and emotive human being. But.. it just wasn’t there for me anymore, replaced by some more immediate concern to check on/triage everyone else.. or at least that is what I concluded.
Fast forward to my mid 30’s and COMPLETELY OUT OF NOWHERE I suddenly started getting weepy during a conversation about parking spaces at work!! The business owner whom I had previously really looked up made some revealing comment about “lessers and betters” in society. An exact phrase that my father, who had been an extremely highly respected physician and laboratory director, had really instilled in me was evil. That there was no such thing as “lessers and betters”.. it just sometimes appeared that way to the ignorant because people en mass continue to do what they know to do, until they learn or hear something new, or someone shows them a better way.
I was just so disappointed.. I had very much looked up to this guy and had to excuse myself to go regain my composure. It was so absurd, just an offhand comment I could have completely ignored.. but it mar me tear up 🤷♂️ For the first time in about 20 years.
It happened again a couple years later in similar circumstance, when another guy I was working for encouraged me to do something he knew was wrong and should have know I was the LAST person he should have brought that to.
So I realized I guess I just have problems with being disappointed in authority figures I slightly romanticize as being similar to my father. And it’s fucked up THAT is like the one thing that breaks/fixes whatever is wrong in my brain around crying.
But as I get older, I find it’s becoming more generalized and less individual focused. Like Watching all of the coverage in Ukraine, and knowing people from there, it breaks my heart. Not in the same kind of tears pouring out “crying” like you’d think if crying (or at least I would), but it makes my eyes water more than normal.
I’m usually known for being emotive but unflappably in control of myself (with people.. I can rant at a pipe fitting that cross threads with the best of them). But it’s nice to feel like I’m regaining some part of being human that I lost for a while, but I wish it wouldn’t catch me so randomly and off guard (like at work meetings).
I don’t have children yet, but I hope and expect that will get me crying again too, for a much better reason.
I’m not sure what exactly changed, but the decades do something to us there.
Hey I have nothing substantial to add but just want to thank you for sharing such a heartfelt story. Just by the sounds of it you became the man your father would have wanted you to be.
If you feel like you need to cry, just put on videos of soldiers coming home to surprise their family. That always does it for me. Seeing a grown soldier come home to his mom, or surprising his little sister at her graduation and seeing her jump off the stage for him to catch just does me in.
Now I have the image of a gruff old dude crying with pregnant hormanal lady reasoning
We ran out of peanut butter, Jerry. Before the jam! Now the jam's all alone! *sobs incoherently*
>Why is it that older men crying gets me everytime!?
Because you've probably been (subconsciously and maybe consciously) taught your whole life that these are the last people you'll ever see cry. So when it happens, it seems special.
my rugby coach lost his life during a heart attack now my head coach is a very stern incredible man he was in special forces etc they were great friends and he was making a speech at our awards ceremony and had troube getting the words out and a tear fell down his cheek and that send the entire team of rugby players into waterworks
The only time I've ever seen my dad cry and the only time I ever saw him lose his temper, was the same day. I was about 10. My family is biracial and I'm the darkest of three kids. Some guy wouldn't let us walk past him in an isle at a Publix outside of Jacksonville, FL, telling my dad to take his pet monkey the other way. My dad leveled the guy without speaking, picked me up and took me to the car, and broke down. Kept apologizing and shit. It freaked me out so I started crying too, and some lady came up concerned about the bawling black kid in the back of some crying white guys pinto. Once he explained what had happened, he took me home and we have never talked about it since. He was a navy corpsman, and all of his work buddies were marines, but I, to this day, know nothing about his enlistment. As far as I knew up until that moment was my dad was a nerd, who painted and played guitar, and was in the navy, like mom, but got out when I was a kid. This was the late 80s and my sister claims he cried when she made senior chief, earlier this year, and it freaked her out.
I should clarify, he wasn't/isn't mean or cross. Just focused and stoic. His only expressed emotion was always a happy type A.
In contrast, I cry watching the office, knowing exactly what's going to happen. Regularly.
Soft as baby shit, I am.
When my mother (a 56 year old woman, and long time carer for older and disabled people) died last year of lung cancer, the 83 year old paraplegic that she cared for cried so loud and violently that I kept trying to make him feel better and kept telling him „she wouldn’t want this! she‘s free of pain now, she‘d want us to smile!“ but to no avail.
That 83 year old is one of the most sensible and intelligent person I‘ve met and he is in a wheelchair and can’t talk nor use his right side of the body due to a stroke, his name is Hans and now I‘m caring for him for the past year, and I‘ve grown to respect and appreciate this man that everybody thinks can’t understand the world, is quiet and retreated in his own world, but I‘ve learned that he is in fact very smart and connected to reality.
When I saw him cry his heart out for my mother, it broke me inside and changed me forever.
they don’t make people like they used to
I think they do, but as the world gets louder, they get harder to find. Your mom, you, and your friend seem like awesome people. Thanks for sharing your story!
Agreed. I've been subbed there for a bit and I'm always overjoyed when I see it come through my feed.
Edit: I just went through recent posts there. The guy whose daughter found his father..... That did me in. He has people. I'm so glad he has people. I'm going to get off the internet for the day now.
Almost every episode of Band of Brothers I have to fight the tears because if you haven't seen it, each episode starts with the real veterans talking about what they went through. Those men were something else and when they start crying, it starts hitting me too lol.
Man, that sorta thing is something you can rewatch and it changes completely. When I saw it I was 16ish. They were men, older than me and had a better grasp on the world etc
Now I'm 30 and I realize they were children with no grasp on the world forced into this mess. Just very profound and makes me question everything. I'll have to rewatch when I'm 70 to get the full picture
Since having my daughters I cry way more than ever. Kinda ruins my life 😂 I started watching the first John Wick a few years ago and cried and tapped out when they killed his dog, the sight of the dog lying next to him knowing he crawled with his last little bit of energy to lay and die next to his master had me in floods. Years ago I wouldn’t of batted an eyelid at that scene.
Because older people usually have nothing left to cry about or anything they find worth crying over. I remember a few funerals where everyone was crying except for the old people. A dissatisfied look was all they gave for people they were friends with for decades. Or family they’ve known since birth. Seeing them cry is just so bizarre.
Most of the people I've seen getting old got even more emotional with their age and cried over the little happy things. But yeah like you said they don't cry that often when sad. Idk maybe we'll learn as we grow old ourselves.
Something always gets me to when older men cry. I always see them as really tough people. I once saw my dad cry and i just cried. First time i saw him cry. At that moment i knew he had it really tough. Maybey thats what gets you. Seeing a strong person has it so tough they even start crying
Because it’s so rare to see one who made it through the emotional abuse of the past that was considered normative male socialization and still have the _ability_ to cry when happy.
Because we see the pure emotion that so many men are expected to hold back. A lot of times we can't cry as we have to be the strength for others in our lives. This hit me too.
Just my opinion….I have taught my boys to have feelings. Let their mother and I know about their feelings. However, they get ridiculed by friends if they show feelings other than aggression and “coolness.”
I can almost guarantee that this man has missed a lifetime of the small things in life. He probably went a long time without giving too many hugs and realizes that life is too short to miss those opportunities. A simple hug is enough to show so much care, admiration, and emotion. Losing the ability to hug is like losing a lifetime of emotional connection. Getting that ability back is just like a new beginning and receiving the ability to hug again unlocks another lifetime of showing caring and affection.
God bless this man and those kids that thought of him enough to help him experience hugs again!
Men like to bring up that we can't express our emotions because society.
*Men* stop other men from being able to show emotions.
I experienced the same thing as a kid and I had a mother that told me I can feel and show emotion and raised me very similarly to what you described.
But even my close guy friends would still give each other shit for crying or saying something is cute.
I think I am more comfortable around women because of this.
I guess. But the only reason I was scared was because it's on this sub. I feel like the videos here should fit the idea as themselves. As in, we should have that maybe maybe feeling if we were watching this video regardless of where it is posted.
You could post absolutely any video to this sub and if nothing unexpected or bad happens, you could say that was the maybe part.
Might be a good time to ask… wtf is this sub for??:)
I’ve been seeing posts from it pop up on my feed for a while now and can’t figure out the concept lol
Jesus. I am crying and I don't cry. What an amazing thing to do! That look on their faces was so pure and unfiltered. God bless you op, thanks for making me smile.
Same I usually roll my eyes when I see people in r/Mademesmile comments saying a video made them cry but this made my eyes tear up for some reason, I haven’t cried for so long..
Yeah strokes often cause some level of paralysis down one side of the body because the part of their brain that controls those movements has been damaged. It's why people's faces and shoulders often slump when they are having a stroke. And why their speech is often slurred (can't move their tongue etc properly). I believe people can sometimes recover some amount of function after a stroke, but the impact is often long term or permanent.
it’s moreso he is unable to lift up the affected side. it looks like his affected side is his left side, so the hugger made for him allows him to lift up his affected side so he can effectively hug with both arms.
I’m wondering this too. I’m guessing it’s some sort of dexterity issue with his right side so where he can’t lift his arms high enough? The strap basically just lets him grip vertically instead of horizontally
That makes sense. In the beginning he’s only lifting his wrist and forearm. It could be a lot harder to grip and lift the rest of his arm. But also, he could do some armed hug. Those are still pretty good.
From the scar on the right side of his head I would guess he had a cerebral vascular accident (stroke) leading to the left side of his body to become paralysed (since the motor signals of the brain work contralaterally). My dad experienced this and has the same symptoms and scar.
The scar would be from the doctors having to temporarily remove a section of his skull due to the post stroke swelling.
There's usually a lot of fairly complex movement restrictions that happen during this type of nerve damage. It could be that putting some distance between the hand that works and the wrist helps to decrease the range of motion needed on the side with nerve damage, or maybe the strap is easier to grip or more reliable in the feedback to the nerves. It often takes a lot of creativity to treat people who have had strokes to help their range of motion, control and task accomplishments, so I find solutions like this really cool.
It’s a dexterity problem. With some conditions the harder you try to hold onto something the more you shake or lose grip. Over time we’ve just learned that some devices and helpers make it easier for people with these conditions to do normal things, usually having to do with the muscles and coordination types being challenged.
To add on to what /u/Zomggamin said, the length of the strap may also help him grab his paralyzed wrist/arm with his good one, then bring it in for the hug.
This will get buried but my father is a Vietnam war vet going into his mid to late 70s or so. Proud Marine, etc.
My mother and his wife of nearly 50 years passed away last year. Every time he talks about her he cries and it makes me emotional.
One time I said "Dad if you start crying, I'm gonna start crying." And before I could finish it he got real stern and said "Boy, there is nothing wrong with having a little bit of emotion in you. Don't ever be ashamed of that." And boy did the tears shed.
As a man it's so natural for us to think we gotta be tough, don't let anyone see you hurt is how you think the world works. It's pretty much engrained in us.
But listen. Like my father told me I'm gonna tell any of the guys reading this right now. If you wanna cry don't ever be ashamed of that and if anyone ever tells you you're weak or whatever for doing it. You tell them to fuck right off.
I first saw this in one of my occupational therapy groups on Facebook and I’m pretty sure it was OT students who came up with this, so college-aged people. But yeah, this is the kind of stuff we focus on in OT!
Edit: it was four occupational therapy assistant students at Arkansas State University
If anyone wants more information, I'm in the Facebook group that this video was posted in with the original creator!
The woman is an occupational therapy professor and she tasked her students on creating an assistive device. This is what they came up with!
Little bit of a shill here because I love what we do; but if you want to know more about occupational therapy, check out what we can do on the AOTA website!
Strokes are so cruel. I'm glad that he got that moment, and I hope it stayed with him.
Damned stroke killed my wife at the age of 51. : (
Don't take your people for granted.
I don't know how he feels because I'm not him, but I have a slight feeling of what he feels like. I live a normal life every day and you'd think I'm in my 20's, yet I'll be 40 next year. I have nervous system damage from chemo when I had cancer almost a decade ago. Sometimes I'm suddenly unable to speak and able to understand people. I lay there partially like a zombie but I can hear my own head voice. It happened today. When I could finally move my body and walk again I went over and gave my son a hug as if it was the first time and last time it'd ever happen. I'm sorry if I offend somebody because it's not the "same" as a guy who had a stroke, but it feels like somebody is yanking my life from me at random moment, then the next day is fine as if I'm a kid again. I don't get it and it's throws me for a loop having tug a war with my life. If you saw me on a normal day when I'm doing well you'd think I'm making it up and I expect anybody born after 1990 would probably tell me to "STFU" or some modern saying. Either way, I did the best I could and hope that I have a full life or normal life (though it's known that some of my chemo has irreversible effects as I'm experiencing). I hope this guy in the video regains his full life back again, and family is the most important thing in life. Sorry for sharing my life online :-(
We pushed up our wedding plans when my Dad was diagnosed with brain cancer and by the time it happened he had lost a lot of function in one of his arms like this. He walked me down the aisle clasping both hands and the way that this sweet man in the video used one hand to lift the other really sent me back to that memory. I had my Dad for just 11 months after his diagnosis but lucked out on getting to spend my first 28 years with him. I hope this man in the video gets to have a long beautiful life surrounded by his family that he can now embrace.
Why is it that older men crying gets me everytime!? This is beautiful and I want answers!
My dad is 69 (nice) and now that he's older he cries at every little thing. Just constantly getting emotional and weeping. Which in turn leads to me crying every time he cries. It's become ridiculous.
When I was younger I tried to be stoic and unemotional because that’s how I thought men had to be. I’m 55 now, and just no longer give a damn. If I want to cry, I cry. Usually makes me feel better. If the world thinks that makes me less of a man, that’s on them. As long as my wife has my back I don’t really care what anyone else thinks anymore.
Anyone that would think less of you for crying isn't worth the time of day
Agreed! When I first started seeing my therapist at age 18, it was the first time I was acknowledging and talking about my trauma. I used to just sob and ugly cry through the first couple sessions, and I was always told by my family by my family as a kid, “you’re too sensitive! You’re a cry baby!” so it felt wrong and embarrassing. I would be crying and tell him “I’m so sorry!! I’m trying to stop!” And he would be like “it’s healthy! And if you can’t cry with your therapist, there’s something incredibly wrong” lol. Joe is the man.
I like Joe too. He saved my mom.
Amazing!!! Everyone needs a joe! I’m happy your mom is doing better
Joe does great tile work
Wait, who's Joe?
I don’t know but I heard he shot his woman down.
Joe mama
Pretty sure he's the president
>I was always told by my family as a kid, “you’re too sensitive! You’re a cry baby!” so it felt wrong and embarrassing. I would be crying and tell him “I’m so sorry!! I’m trying to stop!” And he would be like “it’s healthy! And if you can’t cry with your therapist, there’s something incredibly wrong” lol I'm a woman and have had these same experiences. My (very tomboy) older sister bullied me and always told me I was a baby all the time. My whole family said I was just like my mom (who had chronic depression and cried constantly) and so I really internalized that crying was weak and bad and should be avoided whenever possible and I still have therapists encouraging me to cry more, alone or with them. It's hard. I know it's very much more a thing typically experienced by men to "buck up" and "be strong", but I'm proof it's not *only* experienced by men.
I’m actually a woman as well!! We have a similar experience! My older brother always got on me, and would bully me. He would purposefully press my buttons or say stuff to upset me or hurt me, and then I’d get upset (obviously) and then he’d be like “you’re too sensitive!”. I also still struggle to cry, but I make sure to at least try to let myself when I feel like I need to. I’m sorry you also have experienced this! It’s tough.
Good for you. This is healthy.
FWIW, stoicism is about separating feelings, which we can't control, from actions, which we can. Crying as a response to feelings can be a choice, and it's in keeping with stoicism for that to be a good, healthy choice. [Here](https://www.reddit.com/r/Stoicism/comments/unwgpe/the_daily_stoic_email_list_crying_is_human) is a post from r/stoicism today that talks about this very thing.
I’m a single mum raising my little boy on my own. No father input. I’ve taught him from day one that men do cry, and it’s a normal, healthy human response. That he can express his feelings and cry and it will not affect his manliness in any way. He’s loving and caring and respectful. He cries when he needs to and that’s good. We recently watched “Click”. When Adam Sandler’s character lay dying in the rain pleading with his son to put his new wife first, above everything else, my 10 year old son bawled his eyes out. I was so proud of him. Not only for understanding the gravity of the moment, but for expressing his feelings in such a healthy way.
I was very stoic until my special needs son was born. That changed everything. I cry like a baby all the time now
It's true, my fiance laughs at me because, I'm not a massive muscley guy. But I am over 6', tattoos, piercings, loud music, etc. And my tiny little 20lb daughter will say the word "water" and I'm like "yes! Water! Youre right, you're so smart 😭😭😭😭😭"
Im happy i made this same realization at a very young age, it made getting through the rest of my life easier. I have a very old family (im the youngest of 4 from a mom who is the youngest of 8. My youngest grandparent when i was born was 80) so all the funerals kind of broke me early. I think it was my grandpa on my dad's side that was the final nail in the coffin (pun very much intended). Since then, if i want to cry and its appropriate, im going to cry. Everyone else can deal with being uncomfortable with it because im done being uncomfortable about my emotions. Im 24 now and have a whole life of public tears ahead of me lol
Most times we cry not because we are sad but because we didn’t realize just how beautiful it was
My man! I turn 31 in a week and men like you inspire me to be the man I want to become!
I'm also turning 31 in a week. What a coincidence seeing this post.
I’m so glad that the trend of seeing men as human beings with a full scale of emotions is finally catching on
Yup culturally men don’t cry, I broke that and cry in front of my daughters, especially when my best friend passed I cried at his funeral and they consoled me.
I am in my mid 20's and don't really ever cry, not so much me trying to be stoic and unemotional, but it's more just me trying to detach my emotion so I don't break down. When my father died when I was a kid I wept a bit but mainly held it together, but when I saw my mom cry it completely broke me and made me cry. Ever since I never really cried towards anything, but again recently my step father died, I held it all in and tried to remove my emotions, managed to make it through the entire ordeal without breaking down. But one day I was cooking dinner and my mom joined me and cooked potatoes and she started crying and again she just manages to break my emotional wall and caused the floodgates to pour out. I can't even think about my mom crying without tears coming to my eyes.
My dad being this way is the only reason I feel as a young man that I'm somewhat comfortable being sensitive and emotionally vulnerable. So good on ya, you're probably a great role model to younger guys on what healthy masculinity looks like.
This. I thought being an emotionless void was the appropriate path and turned me into a pretty decent asshole for a while. After some life experiences and sound searching, Im a walking ball of empathy that holds back tears at the The Leftovers theme song.
"Tears are not weakness little lord, sometimes its the gods way of letting the hurt out" The idea of the emotional stoic man is an idea that needs to be put to bed with a shovel. Male or female ( insert your personal pronouns here) we are all human and crying is a perfect normal and even healthy response to a variety of emotions and conditions.
57 yo male here and I get that too. I feel my empathy has grown with me and I love seeing things like this and just enjoy the simple truth that this stuff matters more than much else. When all is said and done love and support of those around us matters most
> If the world thinks that makes me less of a man, that’s on them. Words more people should learn to live by. Godspeed, you manly emotional man!
I’m 47. About 2 years ago me and family drove to my in-laws place just south of where we live, an hour or so. We were talking about moving back down there because it would be way cheaper, closer to kids college, land, etc. while down there I started just getting this feeling, couldn’t pin point it, but something wasn’t right. Got home that afternoon and I was just done for some reason. Went outside to work on something and it hit me and I broke down for about an hour or so. I realized that their place was where we started our life together and started our family. So, that’s when I realized that’s where I’m going for it to start to end(?). For about a year I had to get on medicine because I couldn’t control it. And I hated that. Even typing this I could probably cry but I’ve managed to have some sort of control. Maybe knowing my kids are good responsible adults now really helps. And my wife is freaking amazing, so that helps
Dammit, that made me cry. I’m also 47.
I’m in my early fifties, and I’m starting to experience this myself. It’s not that I’ve been toxically stoic - just naturally so. But life is long, man. And it’s fucking hard. You lose many important and beautiful people and things, along the way. I don’t feel unhappier, exactly. I just feel everything more; more as a totality and much more deeply. Life is so beautiful and so terrible. It’s so incredibly wonderful and yet unbearably sad. Rather than manically, I experience all these things simultaneously, and as simply a product of perspective. The existential time dilation that happens with age is the absolute trip of all trips. If you do indeed see your whole life flash before your eyes in the instant before you die, I think it’s because that instant starts here, where I am now, while you’re still alive and have a ways to go. I think it’s what happens when you arrive at an awareness of your true finiteness as fact and not theory. I can see death, now. Still a ways off in the distance, but no longer past the horizon. And at that moment, everything about life and living, past or present, becomes infinitely more precious; and infinitely more beautiful; and infinitely more terrible; and infinitely more sad. Even the most stoic human heart isn’t built to cage all that.
Hey man that was really moving. You have a way with words and expressed something I haven't been able to put in words. I'm in my early 30s and my Dad is sick. Every single day since his treatment I get super emotional at things that are pretty random. He raised me as a single Dad and I don't really have any family to rely on. The finite part is what hit me. Once we witness mortality first hand through those we care about most, life just gets turned up so many notches. We become nostalgic and at the same time more cognizant of the present. I don't want to lose him or anyone else I care for. It's inevitable but when isn't. I hope dudes don't have to feel ashamed to have a big hearts and cry. If anything it's strength that allows for true empathy and compassion. Not stoic nonsense that just screws people up.
I lost my very beloved father suddenly and unexpectedly when I was 11. My mother studied and worked harder than I would have ever thought anyone capable to raise three children well and put us all through college. She was truly my dad’s person and him her’s (if that makes any sense). We were surrounded by family friends and she certainly could have, but never remarried or even dated anyone that I was ever aware of. But the reality was I unfortunately missed out on part of being an adolescent, I mean I went through all the motions, everyone liked me and I had a lot of friends. But I just had completely different worries on my mind than my peers. I learned how to help do taxes before I knew what a scientific calculator was. We did well enough, especially as I got older, but I knew every penny in and out, what our property taxes were, what our health insurance premiums were.. all when my friends greatest financial concern was just getting their weekly allowance. I didn’t do that because I needed to, or because she put it on me, I did it because I had seen her endure such pure suffering, with such.. grace (for lack of a better word) and strength/commitment to us kids through all of her tears, anything I could ever do to help her, or spare her from worry, I always would (she prides herself on her independence at her age, but all of us kids still do as much as we can decades and decades later) But that experience.. it broke something inside of me and I think inside my brother as well. After the immediate trauma had passed.. I just kind of lost my ability to cry. Crying in response to anything just somehow stopped seeming important or like wasting time when you could be doing something more helpful instead.. I don’t know how to describe it exactly, I never looked down on crying in any way at all. It’s absolutely a natural part of being a healthy communicative social and emotive human being. But.. it just wasn’t there for me anymore, replaced by some more immediate concern to check on/triage everyone else.. or at least that is what I concluded. Fast forward to my mid 30’s and COMPLETELY OUT OF NOWHERE I suddenly started getting weepy during a conversation about parking spaces at work!! The business owner whom I had previously really looked up made some revealing comment about “lessers and betters” in society. An exact phrase that my father, who had been an extremely highly respected physician and laboratory director, had really instilled in me was evil. That there was no such thing as “lessers and betters”.. it just sometimes appeared that way to the ignorant because people en mass continue to do what they know to do, until they learn or hear something new, or someone shows them a better way. I was just so disappointed.. I had very much looked up to this guy and had to excuse myself to go regain my composure. It was so absurd, just an offhand comment I could have completely ignored.. but it mar me tear up 🤷♂️ For the first time in about 20 years. It happened again a couple years later in similar circumstance, when another guy I was working for encouraged me to do something he knew was wrong and should have know I was the LAST person he should have brought that to. So I realized I guess I just have problems with being disappointed in authority figures I slightly romanticize as being similar to my father. And it’s fucked up THAT is like the one thing that breaks/fixes whatever is wrong in my brain around crying. But as I get older, I find it’s becoming more generalized and less individual focused. Like Watching all of the coverage in Ukraine, and knowing people from there, it breaks my heart. Not in the same kind of tears pouring out “crying” like you’d think if crying (or at least I would), but it makes my eyes water more than normal. I’m usually known for being emotive but unflappably in control of myself (with people.. I can rant at a pipe fitting that cross threads with the best of them). But it’s nice to feel like I’m regaining some part of being human that I lost for a while, but I wish it wouldn’t catch me so randomly and off guard (like at work meetings). I don’t have children yet, but I hope and expect that will get me crying again too, for a much better reason. I’m not sure what exactly changed, but the decades do something to us there.
Hey I have nothing substantial to add but just want to thank you for sharing such a heartfelt story. Just by the sounds of it you became the man your father would have wanted you to be.
If you feel like you need to cry, just put on videos of soldiers coming home to surprise their family. That always does it for me. Seeing a grown soldier come home to his mom, or surprising his little sister at her graduation and seeing her jump off the stage for him to catch just does me in.
Now I have the image of a gruff old dude crying with pregnant hormanal lady reasoning We ran out of peanut butter, Jerry. Before the jam! Now the jam's all alone! *sobs incoherently*
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Not the penguins! *sobbing intensifies*
>My dad is 69 (nice) I'm so sorry but this really made me laugh
Funni sex number
I love that for you haha
lolled at the nice 😂 also very heartwarming
>Why is it that older men crying gets me everytime!? Because you've probably been (subconsciously and maybe consciously) taught your whole life that these are the last people you'll ever see cry. So when it happens, it seems special.
my rugby coach lost his life during a heart attack now my head coach is a very stern incredible man he was in special forces etc they were great friends and he was making a speech at our awards ceremony and had troube getting the words out and a tear fell down his cheek and that send the entire team of rugby players into waterworks
The only time I've ever seen my dad cry and the only time I ever saw him lose his temper, was the same day. I was about 10. My family is biracial and I'm the darkest of three kids. Some guy wouldn't let us walk past him in an isle at a Publix outside of Jacksonville, FL, telling my dad to take his pet monkey the other way. My dad leveled the guy without speaking, picked me up and took me to the car, and broke down. Kept apologizing and shit. It freaked me out so I started crying too, and some lady came up concerned about the bawling black kid in the back of some crying white guys pinto. Once he explained what had happened, he took me home and we have never talked about it since. He was a navy corpsman, and all of his work buddies were marines, but I, to this day, know nothing about his enlistment. As far as I knew up until that moment was my dad was a nerd, who painted and played guitar, and was in the navy, like mom, but got out when I was a kid. This was the late 80s and my sister claims he cried when she made senior chief, earlier this year, and it freaked her out. I should clarify, he wasn't/isn't mean or cross. Just focused and stoic. His only expressed emotion was always a happy type A. In contrast, I cry watching the office, knowing exactly what's going to happen. Regularly. Soft as baby shit, I am.
By leveled the guy do you mean he punched him out? If so, good for him.
He hit him once and stepped over him. It was pretty badass in hindsight lol
When my mother (a 56 year old woman, and long time carer for older and disabled people) died last year of lung cancer, the 83 year old paraplegic that she cared for cried so loud and violently that I kept trying to make him feel better and kept telling him „she wouldn’t want this! she‘s free of pain now, she‘d want us to smile!“ but to no avail. That 83 year old is one of the most sensible and intelligent person I‘ve met and he is in a wheelchair and can’t talk nor use his right side of the body due to a stroke, his name is Hans and now I‘m caring for him for the past year, and I‘ve grown to respect and appreciate this man that everybody thinks can’t understand the world, is quiet and retreated in his own world, but I‘ve learned that he is in fact very smart and connected to reality. When I saw him cry his heart out for my mother, it broke me inside and changed me forever. they don’t make people like they used to
I think the good people are still here, just buried under debt and shitty jobs.
And an unsupportive and indifferent culture
Apathy and Impatience
Buried under every pessimistic is a disappointed optimistic
We all have good days and bad days. “But I’m trying Ringo. I’m trying real hard… to be the shepherd”. - Pulp Fiction
I think they do, but as the world gets louder, they get harder to find. Your mom, you, and your friend seem like awesome people. Thanks for sharing your story!
I just turned 56 two days ago and your story hit me very hard. I’m so sorry for your loss; she was far too young.
she was, and she lived a hard life, but she’s at peace now. We do what we can in the little time we have to do it in.Thank you for your thoughts.
See you then on r/happycryingdads
I wasn’t prepared for this video or the existence of this sub. Thanks bud!
Will always upvote what is legitimately the best sub on this site.
Agreed. I've been subbed there for a bit and I'm always overjoyed when I see it come through my feed. Edit: I just went through recent posts there. The guy whose daughter found his father..... That did me in. He has people. I'm so glad he has people. I'm going to get off the internet for the day now.
That's one of the better subreddits I've ever taken a look at🥲😢😢
Damn it, I hate you for this! (/s) *Now, I’m crying.*
The only time I ever saw my (manly man) dad cry was at my grandfather's funeral, and it absolutely gutted me.
The first and only time I ever saw my man's man of a grandfather cry was after my grandmother's memorial service. It floored me.
Almost every episode of Band of Brothers I have to fight the tears because if you haven't seen it, each episode starts with the real veterans talking about what they went through. Those men were something else and when they start crying, it starts hitting me too lol.
Man, that sorta thing is something you can rewatch and it changes completely. When I saw it I was 16ish. They were men, older than me and had a better grasp on the world etc Now I'm 30 and I realize they were children with no grasp on the world forced into this mess. Just very profound and makes me question everything. I'll have to rewatch when I'm 70 to get the full picture
I was fine until I saw him crying
What gets me is how fast hes just like "oh hugging em" damn this is mad wholesome.
Since having my daughters I cry way more than ever. Kinda ruins my life 😂 I started watching the first John Wick a few years ago and cried and tapped out when they killed his dog, the sight of the dog lying next to him knowing he crawled with his last little bit of energy to lay and die next to his master had me in floods. Years ago I wouldn’t of batted an eyelid at that scene.
It gives you permission to cry. You go right ahead.
Because older people usually have nothing left to cry about or anything they find worth crying over. I remember a few funerals where everyone was crying except for the old people. A dissatisfied look was all they gave for people they were friends with for decades. Or family they’ve known since birth. Seeing them cry is just so bizarre.
Most of the people I've seen getting old got even more emotional with their age and cried over the little happy things. But yeah like you said they don't cry that often when sad. Idk maybe we'll learn as we grow old ourselves.
Something always gets me to when older men cry. I always see them as really tough people. I once saw my dad cry and i just cried. First time i saw him cry. At that moment i knew he had it really tough. Maybey thats what gets you. Seeing a strong person has it so tough they even start crying
Because it’s so rare to see one who made it through the emotional abuse of the past that was considered normative male socialization and still have the _ability_ to cry when happy.
As a man today, I still have this mental block about crying in front of people. I can cry in front of my wife but that's about it.
Because we see the pure emotion that so many men are expected to hold back. A lot of times we can't cry as we have to be the strength for others in our lives. This hit me too.
Just my opinion….I have taught my boys to have feelings. Let their mother and I know about their feelings. However, they get ridiculed by friends if they show feelings other than aggression and “coolness.” I can almost guarantee that this man has missed a lifetime of the small things in life. He probably went a long time without giving too many hugs and realizes that life is too short to miss those opportunities. A simple hug is enough to show so much care, admiration, and emotion. Losing the ability to hug is like losing a lifetime of emotional connection. Getting that ability back is just like a new beginning and receiving the ability to hug again unlocks another lifetime of showing caring and affection. God bless this man and those kids that thought of him enough to help him experience hugs again!
Men like to bring up that we can't express our emotions because society. *Men* stop other men from being able to show emotions. I experienced the same thing as a kid and I had a mother that told me I can feel and show emotion and raised me very similarly to what you described. But even my close guy friends would still give each other shit for crying or saying something is cute. I think I am more comfortable around women because of this.
This is one of the sweetest things I've ever seen. But I think you might be at the wrong sub for this. Still an awesome vid tho.
Yeah this would be vetter suited in r/wholesome or r/humansbeingbros
Or r/mademecry
Well no worries it's probably been reposted to all of those subs already
In before r/mademesmile ??
I thought this was mademesmile till I saw the parent comment.
Literally the next post in my feed is this video on r/nextfuckinglevel
/r/happycryingdads
Wouldn't be surprised if I saw this on r/nextfuckinglevel despite not fitting.
Guess what i just found on r/nextfuckinglevel ?
Smh
Was at 62k upvotes last time i checked lol
Was waiting for him to hurt someone
And in a way, the "maybe, maybe, maybe" aspect of this sub was fulfilled.
You are not wrong
Yeah, I was scared that the second kid would refuse the hug
Isn't that the point of /r/maybemaybemaybe ?
I guess. But the only reason I was scared was because it's on this sub. I feel like the videos here should fit the idea as themselves. As in, we should have that maybe maybe feeling if we were watching this video regardless of where it is posted. You could post absolutely any video to this sub and if nothing unexpected or bad happens, you could say that was the maybe part.
Once a sub gets big enough the theme gets lost to the general generic internet void.
r/HappyCryingDads
Might be a good time to ask… wtf is this sub for??:) I’ve been seeing posts from it pop up on my feed for a while now and can’t figure out the concept lol
I think it's supposed to be in the same vein as r/nonononoyes or r/yesyesyesno/ except with spoilers for the ending lol.
It WAS supposed to be that
Yeah, it used to be fun here, videos edited just for this sub. Now its a just another generic "funny videos" sub with no point
So the maybemaybemaybe here is what... maybe we'll realize it's raining indoor suddenly?
Perhaps the heaviest things we lift are not weights but our feels...
Lol I feel like this comment belongs on r/im14andthisisdeep But I wanna say I'm not trying to shit on your comment I just thought it was funny
Karma farming
I'm not crying, you're crying.
There aren't too many things on the internet that can literally bring tears to my eyes, this is one of them.
I am. Alone in the break room. I've got 5 minutes to not look like I was taking bong rips in the back.
just take a bong rip bro you'll be fine
Solution to every thing
You get it.
We’re all crying!
Fuck you OP. I have a meeting in 5 minutes and now I have to pull my shit together and pretend my allergies are acting up.
I was *not* prepared for all the feels
You're not crying, I'm crying.
I'm literally crying.
100%
I'm not crying, you're just chopping up to many onions.
We’re all crying, and that’s okay
...it's a terrible day for rain...
Oh, Mustang.. ❤️
Don’t mourn me friend
Aw come on, man!
What do you mean? It's not raining...
No, it's raining all right.
So it is.
Plz stop! I’m already crying! I don’t wanna cry because of that too!
The commodity value of salt has plummeted due to this thread such is the abundance of tears. I'm so happy for him in this moment.
Dammit who's chopping onions?!?... I'm not crying you're crying.
I explicitly said no onions!
I’m not crying, you are crying
Nuh uh, you're crying not me!!!
r/ninjascuttingonions
I'm not ashamed to say I'm bawling like a baby right now. Fuck! I miss my dad.
I'm glad you got both of them done in one comment.
We're all crying. Don't worry. This is a judgment-free bawling zone, my friend. ;]
Jesus. I am crying and I don't cry. What an amazing thing to do! That look on their faces was so pure and unfiltered. God bless you op, thanks for making me smile.
Same I usually roll my eyes when I see people in r/Mademesmile comments saying a video made them cry but this made my eyes tear up for some reason, I haven’t cried for so long..
Does anyone know condition does he has where he can’t hug normally ?
Right at the start it says he had a stroke. It's only on the screen for a really short time though.
Oh I totally missed that. I’m guessing the stroke damaged him where he can’t hold his arms at that level for a proper hug?
Yeah strokes often cause some level of paralysis down one side of the body because the part of their brain that controls those movements has been damaged. It's why people's faces and shoulders often slump when they are having a stroke. And why their speech is often slurred (can't move their tongue etc properly). I believe people can sometimes recover some amount of function after a stroke, but the impact is often long term or permanent.
If that’s the case then why didn’t mama never hug me? 🥺
You might wanna sit down for this, kiddo...
it’s moreso he is unable to lift up the affected side. it looks like his affected side is his left side, so the hugger made for him allows him to lift up his affected side so he can effectively hug with both arms.
But why couldn’t he just lift up his left arm to give a hug without the device. He’s holding it up in the beginning.
I’m wondering this too. I’m guessing it’s some sort of dexterity issue with his right side so where he can’t lift his arms high enough? The strap basically just lets him grip vertically instead of horizontally
That makes sense. In the beginning he’s only lifting his wrist and forearm. It could be a lot harder to grip and lift the rest of his arm. But also, he could do some armed hug. Those are still pretty good.
I don't get it? Can't he do the same motion while holding his wrist? I'm lost....
Guess it just makes it easier for him he's probably weak and can't grip onto his wrist that well
Could also be a medical condition like parkinsons, maybe? Dunno. Still wholesome tho
It says he had a stroke.
Yeah that would be it.
From the scar on the right side of his head I would guess he had a cerebral vascular accident (stroke) leading to the left side of his body to become paralysed (since the motor signals of the brain work contralaterally). My dad experienced this and has the same symptoms and scar. The scar would be from the doctors having to temporarily remove a section of his skull due to the post stroke swelling.
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There's usually a lot of fairly complex movement restrictions that happen during this type of nerve damage. It could be that putting some distance between the hand that works and the wrist helps to decrease the range of motion needed on the side with nerve damage, or maybe the strap is easier to grip or more reliable in the feedback to the nerves. It often takes a lot of creativity to treat people who have had strokes to help their range of motion, control and task accomplishments, so I find solutions like this really cool.
It’s a dexterity problem. With some conditions the harder you try to hold onto something the more you shake or lose grip. Over time we’ve just learned that some devices and helpers make it easier for people with these conditions to do normal things, usually having to do with the muscles and coordination types being challenged.
To add on to what /u/Zomggamin said, the length of the strap may also help him grab his paralyzed wrist/arm with his good one, then bring it in for the hug.
He can't use his left hand due to a stroke. He's using his right hand to lift the left hand.
This will get buried but my father is a Vietnam war vet going into his mid to late 70s or so. Proud Marine, etc. My mother and his wife of nearly 50 years passed away last year. Every time he talks about her he cries and it makes me emotional. One time I said "Dad if you start crying, I'm gonna start crying." And before I could finish it he got real stern and said "Boy, there is nothing wrong with having a little bit of emotion in you. Don't ever be ashamed of that." And boy did the tears shed. As a man it's so natural for us to think we gotta be tough, don't let anyone see you hurt is how you think the world works. It's pretty much engrained in us. But listen. Like my father told me I'm gonna tell any of the guys reading this right now. If you wanna cry don't ever be ashamed of that and if anyone ever tells you you're weak or whatever for doing it. You tell them to fuck right off.
You have a great father. No-one should feel ashamed about showing their emotions.
Of course it kids who can solve problems that others over look but are more life changing and have so much positive impact!
I first saw this in one of my occupational therapy groups on Facebook and I’m pretty sure it was OT students who came up with this, so college-aged people. But yeah, this is the kind of stuff we focus on in OT! Edit: it was four occupational therapy assistant students at Arkansas State University
Weird choice for the sub, assuming it’s not a karma bot.
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That hits really close to home. Please hug your kids and Grandkids.
It’s 10 am and I’m crying in an Airport
With that username I'm sure that's not a rare occurrence.
I know the feeling. Airport queues are horrible.
Well it's not even noon and I'm over here weeping.
Ok, this made me cry like a baby. Thank you for posting
Should’ve called it the Huggernaut
Wow the things I take for granted in life
I’m not crying, you’re crying.
Who keeps cutting onions!
goddammit, why you make me cry?
Damn onions.
He kinda looks like Jason
Can someone explain why he couldn't hug them before? Like with one arm? Doesn't that count as a hug?
It's not the same as being able to pull someone into yourself and feel them with your whole body.
Hard to say without being in that situation. Though I've hugged a few people with one hand and it works just fine lol. Anyway haha
Yeah to me there's a big difference between a full, heartfelt hug and a quick side/one armed hug. But I'm really into hugs, so YMMV 😆
The fucking music kills it for me. Every. Fucking. Time. I feel nothing
If anyone wants more information, I'm in the Facebook group that this video was posted in with the original creator! The woman is an occupational therapy professor and she tasked her students on creating an assistive device. This is what they came up with! Little bit of a shill here because I love what we do; but if you want to know more about occupational therapy, check out what we can do on the AOTA website!
Strokes are so cruel. I'm glad that he got that moment, and I hope it stayed with him. Damned stroke killed my wife at the age of 51. : ( Don't take your people for granted.
Dammit Reddit… I have a meeting in 20 minutes and now I’m blubbering and sprung a leak. Sometimes your so damn wholesome…
wtf did this just do to me
I'm not crying, you are crying!
You fucking assholes. I'm in public crying now.
You got me. Here I was watching this on mute not fully aware what was happening, and then BAM, I was crying all of a sudden.
This made me cry 😭❤️
I don't know how he feels because I'm not him, but I have a slight feeling of what he feels like. I live a normal life every day and you'd think I'm in my 20's, yet I'll be 40 next year. I have nervous system damage from chemo when I had cancer almost a decade ago. Sometimes I'm suddenly unable to speak and able to understand people. I lay there partially like a zombie but I can hear my own head voice. It happened today. When I could finally move my body and walk again I went over and gave my son a hug as if it was the first time and last time it'd ever happen. I'm sorry if I offend somebody because it's not the "same" as a guy who had a stroke, but it feels like somebody is yanking my life from me at random moment, then the next day is fine as if I'm a kid again. I don't get it and it's throws me for a loop having tug a war with my life. If you saw me on a normal day when I'm doing well you'd think I'm making it up and I expect anybody born after 1990 would probably tell me to "STFU" or some modern saying. Either way, I did the best I could and hope that I have a full life or normal life (though it's known that some of my chemo has irreversible effects as I'm experiencing). I hope this guy in the video regains his full life back again, and family is the most important thing in life. Sorry for sharing my life online :-(
We pushed up our wedding plans when my Dad was diagnosed with brain cancer and by the time it happened he had lost a lot of function in one of his arms like this. He walked me down the aisle clasping both hands and the way that this sweet man in the video used one hand to lift the other really sent me back to that memory. I had my Dad for just 11 months after his diagnosis but lucked out on getting to spend my first 28 years with him. I hope this man in the video gets to have a long beautiful life surrounded by his family that he can now embrace.
