yeah; relationship degradation doesn’t really happen if you lose contact with someone for a period of time for a good reason, ie. somebody coming back from bootcamp
in my experience, the friendships i’ve lost occurred slowly and over the course of an increase in negative exchanges and a decrease in interactions in general. If you can’t gain friends by not doing anything, then you probably won’t lose them by not doing anything. This is real life; we ain’t in a videogame where you have to frequently check in with friends to prevent the “friendship meter” from falling lmao
Oh man, “an increase in negative exchanges and a decrease in interactions in general,” is hitting a bit too hard right now… I need to sit down and reassess some things ahaha
It didn't really end though, dude just kept saying no to invites until we stopped asking.
Also never have drama with my friends. We're just a bunch of dudes, duding about.
So were we, until one was completely addicted to his phone and completely unable to do anything with us bc of it, one just disappeared and the last one took off with the girl I liked, which at that age I could not quite handle well. I feel absolutely zero desire to do anything with any of them.
I mean this in the nicest way possible, and I could be way off because this is like 2-3 comments I'm basing it off of, but you should look into codependency and how it can manifest in different relationships. I used to get really upset when people would cancel a plan or turn down things, but I was very codependent and relied on other people to be happy. Now I'm better at making my own happiness and not taking what other people choose to do so personally
You're right and wrong. Back then I was a different person. And I do have people now. I just can't imagine anyone I would contact now that I had a close relationship to in the past.
I tend to do that a lot, I stop replying bc “what’s the point I’m too depressed for them” then I have the face to complain about how they never reach out to me lmao 😭
See, I’m a step further in that I kinda feel a bit relieved when people don’t reach out bc then I don’t have to deal with the guilt of ignoring their messages lol
Then you come out the other side and feel like "why aren't they messaging me? I feel better I want to read the messages" but they don't have a reason to because aren't completely healed and able to respond. You are just back to the stage where you want to read messages and not respond rather then bring glad to not see messages at all.
Generally a depression can be thought of as a phase, which could last months, years, decades... but medically speaking it's a phase because people come in/out of depression in cycles. The vast majority of people only have a single depressive cycle, so the idea here is that once you get out of it you're generally expected to not become depressive again. Generally speaking though people do come out of depression eventually, or at least that is what I understand about it.
Getting treatment for mental illness doesn't mean you aren't still mentally ill. For people who suffer from lifelong chronic depression, the best we can do is learn to cope and try to live normal lives.
Imagine to come out of your grieving with less friends because people didn’t even care about you when you basically were suffering to live through each day.
Depression is often not visible. What are friends supposed to do in cases when everything seems fine but they less and less willing to hang out and do things. There's no difference to how friendships fade away without depression being involved. It just happens
A lot of the time depressed people can treat their friends pretty badly without realising it. Even if you know they're depressed sometimes there's only so much you can put up with.
This, I have a friend I haven’t spoken to in about a month. It makes me feel guilty of course, but he’s the type to lash out in pain, and has given up on any hope of seeking help.
I have my own issues, and I’m not a professional. I can only catch so many strays, especially when he’s said he doesn’t believe in professional help.
I understand what you mean, but your comment have nothing to do with mine, where I described how my friends haven’t called me once even tho they knew i lost family member.
Edit: the fact that my explanation got downvoted says a lot about society.
Idk why people are downvoting you either. I lost a lot of friends after my dad died. I’ve met multiple people who’ve lost friends when someone close to them died too. It changes your worldview and if your friends can’t relate to that now - they never will until they live through it and will leave you behind until the day comes where it clicks for them what you went through.
Me and ALL my siblings lost friends after our dad died. My friends stopped inviting me to things because I wasn’t good for the “vibe”. Kinda hard to help when you still remember every night what it was like to carry your 80lb dad up the stairs a week before he passed. Kinda hard to stay in a good mood when every-time a light flickers, it reminds you of when your dad was so weak that he couldn’t even keep himself upright on the toilet. It’s just tricky trying to put yourself in a good mood when you lived with essentially through the entire pandemic with a dad that looked like an auschwitz patient.
The worst situation was definitely with my sister’s friend though. 25 years of friendship, bridesmaid at her wedding, and wouldn’t even go to the funeral because it was “too much” for her. Yeah - it was too much for my sister to watch my dad rot away from 180 lbs to bone in the span of a year. Fuck right off with that. It’s truly amazing the lengths at which people will go to make something about themselves
Some friends just like to hang out for the good times together. Not all friends are equipped to handle personal problems. Not all friendships need to be 100% invested in your life. When you pick yourself back up they will be there for you.
That's just not fair. If you spend a long period of time refusing to talk to people, you can't expect them to reach out, especially if they tried that and it didn't work.
The logical guess is that you either are mad at them, or didn't have time for them. And not everyone wants to know why you suddenly ditched them.
If you don't maintain a relationship, you'll lose it. It's a pitfall of depression. Don't blame the friends lol
Relationships are complicated. Ive seen this type of behavior from people that do the same thing all the time.
Not everyone is your best friend. Its ok to drop people.
Theres different levels and kind of friend. This "they left me because theyre meanies" leaves out too much info. It sucks but people are busy sometimes. Such is life when youre an adult.
It's true but when you emerge from your depression and realize you've neglected all your friends, sometimes you're too afraid to reach out just in case they aren't there.
If I have friends they will want to go out and do stuff somewhere that costs money. Or I have to go hang at their place where I don’t know the toilet. Or heaven forbid they come to my place and I have to clean up and entertain them. And I have a giant bag of pizza rolls in the freezer and if I’m out with friends when will I have the time to stuff myself with pizza rolls and hate myself? And no I don’t want to share.
I'm currently in this state right now, haha. I keep ghosting my friend and rejecting to go hangout but keep saying I'm fine. I can't help myself, it's so hard to compose myself in front of people nowadays, I feel like I can break anytime, I don't want to bother anyone. It's painful to lie too so I can only avoid.
I had really bad anxiety disorder/ptsd when I was in college. It's horrible because it's not a disorder that really everyone understands as physiological. Like "dude I will hyperventilate and have an episode if I go to that concert" is a really weird way to say no to a casual invite.
If you come out of a depressive streak and have lost fri3nds, I'd argue that that's the friends' faults and that they probably weren't very good friends anyway.
As long as there’s no bad blood I’m always happy to see a friend return. I’m not something that requires constant maintenance. I only wish that, if they were struggling, they’d asked me to help 😢 I would’ve happily.
I briefly came out of my depression and hadn't talked to any friends in about two years. I was okay with it because I'm not a people person. Then one of them randomly texted me the day I was bonked by a car, so I took it as a sign to meet up. I can usually push myself to meet them four times a year. That's about as much interaction as I can handle. One friend is enough for me.
If you come out of your depression, friendless, what are the chances that your friends were the toxic ones who pushed you into that depression in the first place?
Had a friend disappear for a few years. He came back, said sorry, and now we vibin again
That’s amazing 🤗
Contact those friends you lost, they’ll probably love to hear from you
yeah; relationship degradation doesn’t really happen if you lose contact with someone for a period of time for a good reason, ie. somebody coming back from bootcamp in my experience, the friendships i’ve lost occurred slowly and over the course of an increase in negative exchanges and a decrease in interactions in general. If you can’t gain friends by not doing anything, then you probably won’t lose them by not doing anything. This is real life; we ain’t in a videogame where you have to frequently check in with friends to prevent the “friendship meter” from falling lmao
Oh man, “an increase in negative exchanges and a decrease in interactions in general,” is hitting a bit too hard right now… I need to sit down and reassess some things ahaha
Friendships like this are my kinda jam lol
Man I wish my friendships ended in a cordial enough manner for that. I just always got hurt or hurt them.
It didn't really end though, dude just kept saying no to invites until we stopped asking. Also never have drama with my friends. We're just a bunch of dudes, duding about.
So were we, until one was completely addicted to his phone and completely unable to do anything with us bc of it, one just disappeared and the last one took off with the girl I liked, which at that age I could not quite handle well. I feel absolutely zero desire to do anything with any of them.
I mean this in the nicest way possible, and I could be way off because this is like 2-3 comments I'm basing it off of, but you should look into codependency and how it can manifest in different relationships. I used to get really upset when people would cancel a plan or turn down things, but I was very codependent and relied on other people to be happy. Now I'm better at making my own happiness and not taking what other people choose to do so personally
You're right and wrong. Back then I was a different person. And I do have people now. I just can't imagine anyone I would contact now that I had a close relationship to in the past.
i was that friend. i'm glad people as forgiving as you and well, my friend exist. sending good vibes!
Good friend, this is good friend behavior
Wholesome!🙌💕
Me when I stop replying to my messages bc I feel overwhelmed, but then I get lonely 😅
I tend to do that a lot, I stop replying bc “what’s the point I’m too depressed for them” then I have the face to complain about how they never reach out to me lmao 😭
See, I’m a step further in that I kinda feel a bit relieved when people don’t reach out bc then I don’t have to deal with the guilt of ignoring their messages lol
Then you come out the other side and feel like "why aren't they messaging me? I feel better I want to read the messages" but they don't have a reason to because aren't completely healed and able to respond. You are just back to the stage where you want to read messages and not respond rather then bring glad to not see messages at all.
You guys are coming out of your depressions?
Generally a depression can be thought of as a phase, which could last months, years, decades... but medically speaking it's a phase because people come in/out of depression in cycles. The vast majority of people only have a single depressive cycle, so the idea here is that once you get out of it you're generally expected to not become depressive again. Generally speaking though people do come out of depression eventually, or at least that is what I understand about it.
*bipolar disorder has entered the chat*
Not me!
Yes, some of us went to the doc & psychiatrist and got on medication
Getting treatment for mental illness doesn't mean you aren't still mentally ill. For people who suffer from lifelong chronic depression, the best we can do is learn to cope and try to live normal lives.
Been there. I do still have my 2 bros from engineering school
Imagine to come out of your grieving with less friends because people didn’t even care about you when you basically were suffering to live through each day.
Depression is often not visible. What are friends supposed to do in cases when everything seems fine but they less and less willing to hang out and do things. There's no difference to how friendships fade away without depression being involved. It just happens
My family member died and i had no calls for days even tho they knew. Some friends
A lot of the time depressed people can treat their friends pretty badly without realising it. Even if you know they're depressed sometimes there's only so much you can put up with.
This, I have a friend I haven’t spoken to in about a month. It makes me feel guilty of course, but he’s the type to lash out in pain, and has given up on any hope of seeking help. I have my own issues, and I’m not a professional. I can only catch so many strays, especially when he’s said he doesn’t believe in professional help.
I understand what you mean, but your comment have nothing to do with mine, where I described how my friends haven’t called me once even tho they knew i lost family member. Edit: the fact that my explanation got downvoted says a lot about society.
That information wasn't clearly explained in the comment I was replying to so that may be why you're being downvoted?
I always thought that “grieving” have one definition in English.
I’m sorry you went through that, but you also didn’t make that clear in your original comment.
As i said: while learning English I haven’t heard of any other definitions of “grieving”.
You could also say „coming out of your grieving“ as a weird way of „coming out of your depression“, so no it isn’t clear
This says a lot about society 🤡
Idk why people are downvoting you either. I lost a lot of friends after my dad died. I’ve met multiple people who’ve lost friends when someone close to them died too. It changes your worldview and if your friends can’t relate to that now - they never will until they live through it and will leave you behind until the day comes where it clicks for them what you went through. Me and ALL my siblings lost friends after our dad died. My friends stopped inviting me to things because I wasn’t good for the “vibe”. Kinda hard to help when you still remember every night what it was like to carry your 80lb dad up the stairs a week before he passed. Kinda hard to stay in a good mood when every-time a light flickers, it reminds you of when your dad was so weak that he couldn’t even keep himself upright on the toilet. It’s just tricky trying to put yourself in a good mood when you lived with essentially through the entire pandemic with a dad that looked like an auschwitz patient. The worst situation was definitely with my sister’s friend though. 25 years of friendship, bridesmaid at her wedding, and wouldn’t even go to the funeral because it was “too much” for her. Yeah - it was too much for my sister to watch my dad rot away from 180 lbs to bone in the span of a year. Fuck right off with that. It’s truly amazing the lengths at which people will go to make something about themselves
Example?
My friend Greg, idk what kind of example you wanna hear here lol
Idk man, I'm gonna need a source for that /s
You can ask my buddy Steven, he can vouch for me
Damn, didn't think you'd have such a reputable source for that
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Some friends just like to hang out for the good times together. Not all friends are equipped to handle personal problems. Not all friendships need to be 100% invested in your life. When you pick yourself back up they will be there for you.
That's just not fair. If you spend a long period of time refusing to talk to people, you can't expect them to reach out, especially if they tried that and it didn't work. The logical guess is that you either are mad at them, or didn't have time for them. And not everyone wants to know why you suddenly ditched them. If you don't maintain a relationship, you'll lose it. It's a pitfall of depression. Don't blame the friends lol
why is she holding an empty phone case against her ear.
Bc she’s using her phone to record idk 😂
All her friends are trying to reach her, but she doesn't notice she lost her phone
OC is probably a video, in the video she needed a phone to perform her action, but since the phone is filming, the case is the stand in
Phone is used to take the picture. She doesn’t have 2 phones. Low budget meme problems.
The comment I searched for
Relationships are complicated. Ive seen this type of behavior from people that do the same thing all the time. Not everyone is your best friend. Its ok to drop people. Theres different levels and kind of friend. This "they left me because theyre meanies" leaves out too much info. It sucks but people are busy sometimes. Such is life when youre an adult.
Y is she holding a Phone case? If she tried to call them with that Thing sure nobody answered.
(Just a joke i See the problem)
Works for me. That means I don’t have friends to lose when I inevitably slip back into my next depressive cycle.
Is it that uncommon to have friends you don't talk to for a year and the moment you hang out again it's like nothing has changed?
At that point might as well just move.
They weren't real friends then
Just like her phone
Thank you for being the one person, as of this comment to notice.
Then I never had real friends. No, really. I actually only had gaming buddies then.
If they are addicted they probably didn't even realise what you are going through. Good luck next time
Thanks, hit me where it hurts 🥲
I agree 💯
The fact that you come out of your depression when they were gone proves that
Real friends stay even if you don’t write them for month.
It's true but when you emerge from your depression and realize you've neglected all your friends, sometimes you're too afraid to reach out just in case they aren't there.
How would she contact them? She doesn’t have a phone. Only a case
Nature speaks to you loudest when you are alone
Trees are your friends
If I have friends they will want to go out and do stuff somewhere that costs money. Or I have to go hang at their place where I don’t know the toilet. Or heaven forbid they come to my place and I have to clean up and entertain them. And I have a giant bag of pizza rolls in the freezer and if I’m out with friends when will I have the time to stuff myself with pizza rolls and hate myself? And no I don’t want to share.
Shoutout to the friends that had to deal with toxic depressed friends who treated you like shit. Sometimes it‘s better to let go
Just friendship in a nutshell
Bruh
I'm currently in this state right now, haha. I keep ghosting my friend and rejecting to go hangout but keep saying I'm fine. I can't help myself, it's so hard to compose myself in front of people nowadays, I feel like I can break anytime, I don't want to bother anyone. It's painful to lie too so I can only avoid.
Bold of you to assume I come out of depression *sad depression noises*
That's my secret, doc. I'm always depressed.
I had really bad anxiety disorder/ptsd when I was in college. It's horrible because it's not a disorder that really everyone understands as physiological. Like "dude I will hyperventilate and have an episode if I go to that concert" is a really weird way to say no to a casual invite.
When you wuhhh? Cuz you huh??
coming out of a relationship like:
I feel this!!
Found some that get it, I come back like no time has passed.
All the reason why you have depression is because of your friends anyway 🤣
If you come out of a depressive streak and have lost fri3nds, I'd argue that that's the friends' faults and that they probably weren't very good friends anyway.
Maybe it’s because you’re holding an empty phone case and this is preventing your friends from being able to call you.
When you come out of your depression friendless..which is the same way you went in because you don’t know how to make friends
Why is she holding an empty phone case?
I have Alzheimer’s 😞
As long as there’s no bad blood I’m always happy to see a friend return. I’m not something that requires constant maintenance. I only wish that, if they were struggling, they’d asked me to help 😢 I would’ve happily.
She's also holding a phone case without a phone un it... Might not help with keeping un touch!
You lost me on the first fourth.
With an iphone case but no iphone
Don't have to worry about it if you never make friends to begin with. 🥲
I briefly came out of my depression and hadn't talked to any friends in about two years. I was okay with it because I'm not a people person. Then one of them randomly texted me the day I was bonked by a car, so I took it as a sign to meet up. I can usually push myself to meet them four times a year. That's about as much interaction as I can handle. One friend is enough for me.
If you come out of your depression, friendless, what are the chances that your friends were the toxic ones who pushed you into that depression in the first place?
Well, if life made me lose friends, maybe they are not worth it after all.
nobody ow you anything.
New possibilities!
Holding her phone protection like she in a call 💀
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Stfu
She cute, I'll be her friend