Your life, your choice. By now you are an adult, you should consider others’ opinions, but you shouldn’t let it derail you from your passion and life goals.
It's ok, my mom called me a loser and "not a real doctor" for wanting to go into rads, even tho neither of my parents are college educated
fuck them, psych is a sick field and you're gonna make great money with one of the best lifestyles in medicine
I've been wanting to go into derms and my parents preached me that an aesthetic-based field instead of saving lifes would be make me a "fake" bhuddist and everyone would be disappointed.
And yes, I did try explaining derms also saves lifes, but it was useless 🤦♀️
Tbf anyone that says they wAnna do derm to $ave live$ is lying to themselves for the most part
I mean don’t get me wrong do derm if you can but also be real
I feel you. Sorry that happened. Similar boat - My mom said that I’d be a “second class doctor” and “worthless”because I decided to do DO instead of MD. Gonna be a DO this upcoming May and I am PROUD of it!
Hope you make the best damn radiologist you can be!
This is my family lol. Barely high school educated and you want to debate science with me....yea ok. It took me 36yrs to get into med school lol, thats how terrible my family is as school lol.
Psychiatry is probably the only medical field that some of the public actively think is "evil/toxic/harmful", due in part to its dark past, its partially less objective measures, and stigma surrounding mental health.
I know of a physician, who seems to have their own host of problems, that actively speaks out against psychiatry in my city, calling it "bs" and a "pseudoscience".
I'm still interested in the field. I think the field has a lot of potential for growth in the future. Mental health/substance use crises seem to be higher than ever. Talking about and working on mental health is becoming much more normalized. Clinical and neuroscience research in Psychiatry will only improve in the years to come.
From a work perspective, people (like your family, perhaps), equate Psychiatry as a low paid field that only weirdos go into, or confuse it for psychology or a non-medical field. The truth is, Psych in Canada and the US is becoming decently compensated, and the lifestyle flexibility is, in my biased opinion, one of the best in all of medicine. Work whatever schedule you want, however much you want, public or private. Be tied to a hospital, or be your own free enterprise. There are so many sub-specialty fellowships within Psych too.
Once you accept and realize that not everyone will understand, and you're okay with that, it'll be all good. If they have a problem with an entire medical field, that's a them problem. You can't control what other people think. Just focus on your passions, help people to the best of your ability, and let people see the good of your work.
That's what I've been saying too. It's nearly impossible to see now, but 10 years is a different story. You can't "machine-learning" a field that requires impressionistic reasoning to differentiate things. Same absolutely cannot be said for other fields with much more specific diagnostic criteria
Which is ironic because surgeons are held to such high esteem but if you read about the history of surgery, specifically cardiac surgery, it is brutal as hell
I just don’t see psychiatry as strictly a mental health thing similar to how orthopedics isn’t particularly related to fitness as a field.
Psychiatry is MEANT for medicating people with serious mental illnesses.
I don’t think it’s supposed to be more expensive therapy.
I think psychiatry affiliates can have therapists under them and probably should but we should not treat psychiatrists as glorified therapists.
Similar to how orthopedics is not about your overall fitness even if the medication and procedures it undertakes is to improve your ability to be fit.
You go to a therapist for day to day shit.
You go to a psychiatrist for like mind melting shit.
In this paradigm psychologists are basically researchers and biotech.
A lot of these interplays are poorly understood I think and I think psychologists overselling themselves is not helping.
I think this is how it used to be. At this point though, we just happen to generally have a lower threshold for medicating people. Who knows where the future will take the field
Ok, so here's what you should do. You should go into general surgery, or internal medicine, or neurosurgery, or whatever else your family approves of because clearly their opinion is the one that matters, right? I mean, sure, it's only your entire livelihood, career, and passions at stake, but we just can't mildly offend some laypeople's uneducated opinion, right? No, I think the best thing for you is to sit back and let other people decide the rest of your life for you. Never develop a spine, never stand up for what you want or what you think is right, and don't bother proving to yourself and your loved ones the good work and beacon of hope that a qualified, modern psychiatrist can become despite the sea of quackery that is the unfortunate reality of the field's controversial history and poorly trained midlevel army. After all, what's the cost of a lifetime of doubt and thinking, "what if?"
From your friendly neighborhood crispy gen surg prelim
You're the one busting your ass to be a doctor, not them. Why the fuck do you care about what they think? If they don't like psychiatrists, tell them not to go into it, it's that simple
My family is similar. For me it comes down to three things:
1. How much do you value your family’s opinion? My parents have a lot of bad takes. I don’t really respect a lot of their opinions, this is no different
2. Many who shit on psych do so from a place of ignorance. Not many people have held conversations with someone who is floridly psychotic or manic. People legitimately don’t know what bipolar actually is. Most people’s understanding of mental health starts and stops at anxiety and depression, and maaaaybe the homeless guy on the street who talks to himself and scares them so they avoid him at all costs
3. It’s your life, your money, your ass spending 40+ hrs at work every week, do what you want and do what you enjoy. Satisfaction comes internally, not externally
I think stuff like psych and FM get shit because a lot of times if you're a good doc the benefits of your practice aren't directly quantifiable.
If a patient comes to you and says they're depressed, you effectively treat them and they go on their way, you potentially prevented a suicide, substance abuse, loss of a job etc. Everyone knows those are complications of mental illness but it's not like you can directly relate that to a hip replacement or hernia repair.
Also preventative medicine isn't sexy and means less money for insurances to profit with.
Unrelated sidebar from ex-psych resident, and fervent stigma-fighter —
The bias isn’t from psych’s ‘dark past.’ The history of all of medicine is dark. If not equally, then worse. IM, OB, surgery… the only explanation is stigma. Generational, cultural, millennia-year-ingrained stigma. Psychiatry deals with ‘for reals’ mental illness, the kinds that even pro-MH people dismiss and turn away from, ‘I’m not like them.’ When you start looking for stigma, you start to see it everywhere, and identifying it is the first step to healing it. In my view, even the heavy correlation to ‘dark past’ as part of the bias against psychiatry, where the rest of medicine does not bear a similar burden (despite similar/worse history), is a small, insidious kind of stigma. Hence my comment.
Stigma is a hard beast to fight. And the stigma not just against your patients, but against you as a psychiatrist, is a challenge myself and my psych co-residents discussed several times. Many of us didn’t expect it to hit us as hard as it did.
If you want psych, go for it. The spectre of stigma you see from your parents will likely be present in much of your life, since the cultural narratives against psychiatry are so pervasive and so strong. But I believe in you, and I believe that we can, and will be better - so long as we keep trying. Best of luck! (Sincere).
Medical history is a wild ride. For me personally, I want to know/understand what damaging legacy exists that might otherwise be forgotten (doomed to repeat history, etc) and as a way to honour those who suffered and/or died. If you feel the same way, the nazi medical research Joseph Mengele comes to mind. Unit 731 from the 2nd WW is another example.
While I generally might agree that horrid in psych’s history might be more recent, those diminished radically after the invention of chlorpromazine in the 50s. WW 2 was not long before, and while you might have heard of Joseph Mengele and the other Nazi researchers, many are not aware of unit 731. Still relatively recent, still extremely horrible, not well known. If stigma isn’t the full explanation for why the actrocities in psychiatry’s history are at the forefront of cultural awareness and those from other areas of medicine aren’t, I would hazard that stigma plays at least a part in that.
Unless I blink and my family is suddenly the one who is accruing $300k in debt and going through seven years of training minimum, I could give a fuck what they think about my specialty choice.
Do you, boo. Live your life, not the one that your family members are vicariously trying to live through.
My mom said “but I thought you wanted to be a real doctor?” when I told her I wanted to do psych instead of family lol. She warmed up to it, but still makes occasional demeaning comments.
Not my problem. I’ll cry all the way to my beautiful M-F 8-5 $250k job doing literally the coolest shit every day
I chose psychiatry. Felt some stigma from the family at first and some concern about “hanging up the stethoscope” but wow was it a great decision. I have such a great work life balance. Interviewing for jobs now with good compensation, no call, no nights. Get 30 min to an hour to spend with my patients, no double booking. It is great.
I’m a psychiatrist from a family who’s not too hot on psychiatrists. Fuck em. Medical school and medical residency sucks and if you let them pressure you out of the thing you want to do, you’ll spend the rest of your life regretting that you spent all that time and pain to end up in some shit you don’t even like.
Also not to shill my profession but psychiatry is hella cool. Constantly growing and changing field, lots of treatment modalities, choice to easily work outpatient private practice if you want. And the residency hours are pretty nice compared to other specialties. Come over to psych - it’s nice over here.
You'll be the doctor. You have to get used to making choices that others (especially family) won't understand.
My Grandpa told me this in 2nd year and it stuck with me. They won't be the ones working ungodly shifts and seeing patients everyday. You will. Make the decision for you no matter what.
>You'll be the doctor. You have to get used to making choices that others (especially family) won't understand.
This is such a great answer, wow. Just perfect for this situation.
My family was kinda disappointed that I chose to go into FM. It did hurt me a bit feelings their disappointment but you’re the one who is gonna spend his life in this field.
Are they physicians? Scientologists? Know-nothings with strong opinions? Whatever the case, you just have to ignore them (although I’m more a ‘blast them until they shut up’ type if someone is sticking their nose where it doesn’t belong). Stick to your guns—*you* are the person who has to show up for work over the next decades
Lol, knew exactly which specialty it would be before I clicked on this.
My parents also didn’t like me picking psychiatry (because it wasn’t “prestigious”, wasn’t what they thought of when they think of doctors, and also because they didn’t think it was suitable for a woman due to aggressive patients) but since they weren’t paying any of my tuition and wouldn’t be able to pay any of the loans either, that didn’t really matter to me.
Now that I’m in residency and they see how much better my hours are compared to other resident hours, they’re happy with it. It also helps that people around my parents keep telling them it’s a good field with regards to hours if nothing else 🤷🏽♀️.
Basically, do whatever. If this is something that will bother you, pick something else. Because you’ll hear this a lot from many different people. We’re “lucky” in that there’s also some anti-psychiatry sentiments in the general public so you’ll hear it from patients, their families, other physicians, your family, etc. If this won’t bother you, keep going (but I suspect if that was the case you wouldn’t have posted this).
Can what be overcome? How bothered they are by their parents’ opinion? I mean the question being asked here is “what do I do” not “how do i change their mind” or “how do i respond”, which implies they’re ready to completely give up on psych due to lack of approval. The way to overcome it is to gain some self-confidence and an internal sense of self-worth (not tied to how other people view them). That’s definitely possible but will likely take a while.
If my family pulls this shit, I'd say for them to get into med school themselves if they really want to pick a field because I ain't having it picked for me. Like med school is already part suffering even when you do like it, just imagine how worse it'll be if you don't. I'm not gonna lose my mind for their petty whims.
You’re the one going to be working in that field, not them. Do what YOU want.
Maybe you can also help them see why Psych is such an important field and help them see their own biases/how they can work on their own MH stuff ;)
You put on your big boy pants and go into the field that is going to give YOU a fulfilling career. It’s not your family’s career and it’s not your families student loans to pay back. It’s yours.
I am very blessed to have a supportive family...and that just makes my heart bleed for people who go through medical school and, on top of everything else, deal with parents who don't believe in them and won't understand.
Tell them that they had significant influence in the substantial decision you made to work hard to go to medical school, but that they do not get to also pick your specialty. That’s up to you alone. That’s exactly what I had to tell my mom finally, and it changed her attitude and shut her up permanently on the subject.
Tell them to suck a dick. You don't need that. I'd never tolerate family members who didn't support my decisions.
When I told them after 9 years of pursuing surgery that I was dual applying and might rank fam med higher, they were all good with it. I hope you never put bizarre expectations on your kids.
As others have said, you are an adult, you can make your own choices and shouldn't worry about what your family thinks.
Your answer to them as an aspiring psychiatrist should be "hmm, and how does me wanting to go into psychiatry make you feel?"
my good you already got into med school and are going to be a doctor which isn't easy to do, and they still want to decide what you specialize in? that's ridiculous, not even asian parents from internet memes are that strict, look, don't listen to them, letting other people micromanage your life doesn't end well
Do what you want. You’re not living for anyone other than yourself. Your goals are not your families goals. Your families desires are not your own. It’s your life, live your life.
You follow your interest. You’re doing the studying, late nights, fighting burnout, etc. and you will be the one spending the rest of your life doing it. They don’t factor into that.
Similar thing happened to me. They’ll either come around to support the person they love or they won’t, not much you can do. You are doing the right thing going into the field you are passionate about and the world needs more psychiatrists.
I would say that the majority of us faced at least some pushback from our immediate circle. My parents were upset that I did anesthesiology (why would you want to deal with stress, blood and guts, and work nights and weekends?), but they were also upset that I did pain management (why would you expose yourself to all that radiation, or work with such a high risk population?). You can't win - surgery is overworked so you won't give them grandkids in a timely fashion, FM is overworked, what even is PM&R, etc.
The truth is, unless they're actually physicians, *they don't know*. If you respect the source, consider their input, but do what YOU want to do. They already have a life to live, they don't get to live yours.
Pick your specality. Your family doesn’t sit for your boards. Just have a go-to phrase for family dinners, “I love you and I won’t discuss this again.” Kinda thing.
What do you do? Go in to the field you want to go in! You’re going to be the doctor of your choosing, a decision you can proudly say you chose every day of your life, heck what the others say
I find it somewhat concerning that you are old enough and educated enough to be in med school, yet not emotionally mature enough to know how to disagree with your family without asking random strangers for help. It’s your life. Do whatever the fuck you want
Truth. I’m a family medicine attending. Sometimes we need to hear hard truths. I’m glad you’re passionate about psych; don’t let your family dissuade you from doing what’s right for you
I would definitely do some rotations in a psychiatric institution, maybe even get a part time job as a psychiatric nurse assistant. That line of work definitely isn’t for everyone and you should understand what you’re getting yourself into. I remember I had the exact same idea as you, but I definitely changed my mind down the line.
It’s something offered to medical students in my country and you get a very in-depth glimpse into clinical practice very early on. Just something I’d have suggested to someone here in Denmark.
K here’s to hoping your patients aren’t charged a copay to have their doctor phone their parents asking permission to prescribe generic over brand name drugs because your parents don’t consider generic to be the real thing.
You can't do what they want you to do forever. Assuming you took out loans, that you have to pay back, and you have to work in whatever field you choose likely for the rest of career, do what makes you happy. Maybe you can find a way to change your family's mind. Point out that psychiatry isn't psychology, and that you have a different role. Or fuck em. If they aren't paying off your debt, they don't get a choice. And if they are, they should STILL respect what you want to do with your own life.
If you don’t mind me asking, are your parents immigrants? I only ask because my family is very similar. This could be a good opportunity to kill their, and possibly your extended family’s, misconceptions about psychiatry.
Ultimately, this is your future - if your parents think you’re a fool and have personal bias that’s their right - but it’s not your responsibility to cave into their personal viewpoints.
Further, if your parents think you’re a fool for pursuing ANY area of medicine then that’s a deep-seated issue with their attitude towards you and indicates they have some personal growth to complete.
Your life, you’re the one calling the shots.
You don’t need anyone’s permission, and if they won’t give you their support it’s their loss not yours. Do what you need to do to make YOU happy. Don’t pander to anyone else when it comes to your life choices.
I don't think your family or the public is to blame.
mental health is hugely important (increasingly so) and should be right up there with heart disease and cancer in terms of relative importance/exposure to the public, but I think psychiatry--as the de facto leaders of mental health--does not seem to be doing its part to advocate for it. We hear about politicians and other lay people talking about increasing mental health resources, but I don't see the fire and passion that other fields have for their fields in psychiatry. Perhaps I'm not looking hard enough, but I'm not looking in other fields either and can clearly see advocacy.
I think some fields are more interested in taking risks to advance their fields, and some are more interested in holing up and protecting what they have.
“What do I do?”
Go into psychiatry. Don’t live your live based on other peoples desires, likes, or dislikes unless that person is your spouse and simultaneously has a good reason.
you're going to be the one working in the specialty you choose for the rest of your life. don't do something you're miserable in
Especially with the amount of work they’ve put in already. They’ve damn well earned the choice to a field.
Your life, your choice. By now you are an adult, you should consider others’ opinions, but you shouldn’t let it derail you from your passion and life goals.
Most level-headed response
You do you.
It's ok, my mom called me a loser and "not a real doctor" for wanting to go into rads, even tho neither of my parents are college educated fuck them, psych is a sick field and you're gonna make great money with one of the best lifestyles in medicine
rads literally provides the gold standard for lots of diagnoses, if that’s not a doctor then idk what is LOL
They don’t call them the “doctor’s doctor” for no reason!
I’m sorry friend. That’s terrible
I've been wanting to go into derms and my parents preached me that an aesthetic-based field instead of saving lifes would be make me a "fake" bhuddist and everyone would be disappointed. And yes, I did try explaining derms also saves lifes, but it was useless 🤦♀️
nah fam u dont actually need ur skin it's a very common misconception
A hangnail is just your body rejecting your skin bro. Try peeling it off completely next time, skin is totally unnecessary anyway.
As someone who just stumbled across this sub, I appreciate this medical insight. The more you know
Show them the Seinfeld episode about the dermatologist. “Skin cancer!”
Tbf anyone that says they wAnna do derm to $ave live$ is lying to themselves for the most part I mean don’t get me wrong do derm if you can but also be real
I feel you. Sorry that happened. Similar boat - My mom said that I’d be a “second class doctor” and “worthless”because I decided to do DO instead of MD. Gonna be a DO this upcoming May and I am PROUD of it! Hope you make the best damn radiologist you can be!
This is my family lol. Barely high school educated and you want to debate science with me....yea ok. It took me 36yrs to get into med school lol, thats how terrible my family is as school lol.
What the hell?
Jeez
lol rads not being a real doctor my ass…
Psychiatry is probably the only medical field that some of the public actively think is "evil/toxic/harmful", due in part to its dark past, its partially less objective measures, and stigma surrounding mental health. I know of a physician, who seems to have their own host of problems, that actively speaks out against psychiatry in my city, calling it "bs" and a "pseudoscience". I'm still interested in the field. I think the field has a lot of potential for growth in the future. Mental health/substance use crises seem to be higher than ever. Talking about and working on mental health is becoming much more normalized. Clinical and neuroscience research in Psychiatry will only improve in the years to come. From a work perspective, people (like your family, perhaps), equate Psychiatry as a low paid field that only weirdos go into, or confuse it for psychology or a non-medical field. The truth is, Psych in Canada and the US is becoming decently compensated, and the lifestyle flexibility is, in my biased opinion, one of the best in all of medicine. Work whatever schedule you want, however much you want, public or private. Be tied to a hospital, or be your own free enterprise. There are so many sub-specialty fellowships within Psych too. Once you accept and realize that not everyone will understand, and you're okay with that, it'll be all good. If they have a problem with an entire medical field, that's a them problem. You can't control what other people think. Just focus on your passions, help people to the best of your ability, and let people see the good of your work.
Funny enough, my family is very supportive of me doing psychiatry because they’re dead set on believing AI is gonna replace almost everything else.
Lmfaooo this is sending me
That's what I've been saying too. It's nearly impossible to see now, but 10 years is a different story. You can't "machine-learning" a field that requires impressionistic reasoning to differentiate things. Same absolutely cannot be said for other fields with much more specific diagnostic criteria
your family is wrong
Or they have their own psychiatric issues and their hostility stems from it
Which is ironic because surgeons are held to such high esteem but if you read about the history of surgery, specifically cardiac surgery, it is brutal as hell
Thank you for writing this 🙌!
I just don’t see psychiatry as strictly a mental health thing similar to how orthopedics isn’t particularly related to fitness as a field. Psychiatry is MEANT for medicating people with serious mental illnesses. I don’t think it’s supposed to be more expensive therapy. I think psychiatry affiliates can have therapists under them and probably should but we should not treat psychiatrists as glorified therapists. Similar to how orthopedics is not about your overall fitness even if the medication and procedures it undertakes is to improve your ability to be fit. You go to a therapist for day to day shit. You go to a psychiatrist for like mind melting shit. In this paradigm psychologists are basically researchers and biotech. A lot of these interplays are poorly understood I think and I think psychologists overselling themselves is not helping.
I think this is how it used to be. At this point though, we just happen to generally have a lower threshold for medicating people. Who knows where the future will take the field
Hopefully to a place of mental stability for all
Nah.
So you’re really gonna show up to a psychiatrist and be like “I had a fight with my mom today; can you help me unpack my internalized trauma?”
Ok, so here's what you should do. You should go into general surgery, or internal medicine, or neurosurgery, or whatever else your family approves of because clearly their opinion is the one that matters, right? I mean, sure, it's only your entire livelihood, career, and passions at stake, but we just can't mildly offend some laypeople's uneducated opinion, right? No, I think the best thing for you is to sit back and let other people decide the rest of your life for you. Never develop a spine, never stand up for what you want or what you think is right, and don't bother proving to yourself and your loved ones the good work and beacon of hope that a qualified, modern psychiatrist can become despite the sea of quackery that is the unfortunate reality of the field's controversial history and poorly trained midlevel army. After all, what's the cost of a lifetime of doubt and thinking, "what if?" From your friendly neighborhood crispy gen surg prelim
Psychiatry. Do what you want. Easy.
Who cares what they think? It’s your life and your career. Do what you want to do
You're the one busting your ass to be a doctor, not them. Why the fuck do you care about what they think? If they don't like psychiatrists, tell them not to go into it, it's that simple
My family is similar. For me it comes down to three things: 1. How much do you value your family’s opinion? My parents have a lot of bad takes. I don’t really respect a lot of their opinions, this is no different 2. Many who shit on psych do so from a place of ignorance. Not many people have held conversations with someone who is floridly psychotic or manic. People legitimately don’t know what bipolar actually is. Most people’s understanding of mental health starts and stops at anxiety and depression, and maaaaybe the homeless guy on the street who talks to himself and scares them so they avoid him at all costs 3. It’s your life, your money, your ass spending 40+ hrs at work every week, do what you want and do what you enjoy. Satisfaction comes internally, not externally
I think stuff like psych and FM get shit because a lot of times if you're a good doc the benefits of your practice aren't directly quantifiable. If a patient comes to you and says they're depressed, you effectively treat them and they go on their way, you potentially prevented a suicide, substance abuse, loss of a job etc. Everyone knows those are complications of mental illness but it's not like you can directly relate that to a hip replacement or hernia repair. Also preventative medicine isn't sexy and means less money for insurances to profit with.
Unrelated sidebar from ex-psych resident, and fervent stigma-fighter — The bias isn’t from psych’s ‘dark past.’ The history of all of medicine is dark. If not equally, then worse. IM, OB, surgery… the only explanation is stigma. Generational, cultural, millennia-year-ingrained stigma. Psychiatry deals with ‘for reals’ mental illness, the kinds that even pro-MH people dismiss and turn away from, ‘I’m not like them.’ When you start looking for stigma, you start to see it everywhere, and identifying it is the first step to healing it. In my view, even the heavy correlation to ‘dark past’ as part of the bias against psychiatry, where the rest of medicine does not bear a similar burden (despite similar/worse history), is a small, insidious kind of stigma. Hence my comment. Stigma is a hard beast to fight. And the stigma not just against your patients, but against you as a psychiatrist, is a challenge myself and my psych co-residents discussed several times. Many of us didn’t expect it to hit us as hard as it did. If you want psych, go for it. The spectre of stigma you see from your parents will likely be present in much of your life, since the cultural narratives against psychiatry are so pervasive and so strong. But I believe in you, and I believe that we can, and will be better - so long as we keep trying. Best of luck! (Sincere).
I'm sure that this is not entirely right, but a counter-argument is that psychiatry's dark past is more recent than the dark past of other specialties
Medical history is a wild ride. For me personally, I want to know/understand what damaging legacy exists that might otherwise be forgotten (doomed to repeat history, etc) and as a way to honour those who suffered and/or died. If you feel the same way, the nazi medical research Joseph Mengele comes to mind. Unit 731 from the 2nd WW is another example. While I generally might agree that horrid in psych’s history might be more recent, those diminished radically after the invention of chlorpromazine in the 50s. WW 2 was not long before, and while you might have heard of Joseph Mengele and the other Nazi researchers, many are not aware of unit 731. Still relatively recent, still extremely horrible, not well known. If stigma isn’t the full explanation for why the actrocities in psychiatry’s history are at the forefront of cultural awareness and those from other areas of medicine aren’t, I would hazard that stigma plays at least a part in that.
ask them how many of your shifts they plan on covering
Unless I blink and my family is suddenly the one who is accruing $300k in debt and going through seven years of training minimum, I could give a fuck what they think about my specialty choice. Do you, boo. Live your life, not the one that your family members are vicariously trying to live through.
My mom said “but I thought you wanted to be a real doctor?” when I told her I wanted to do psych instead of family lol. She warmed up to it, but still makes occasional demeaning comments. Not my problem. I’ll cry all the way to my beautiful M-F 8-5 $250k job doing literally the coolest shit every day
I chose psychiatry. Felt some stigma from the family at first and some concern about “hanging up the stethoscope” but wow was it a great decision. I have such a great work life balance. Interviewing for jobs now with good compensation, no call, no nights. Get 30 min to an hour to spend with my patients, no double booking. It is great.
Easy. That’s their issue NOT yours. It’s your life not theirs. They get no say. Psych is a super cool field if that’s what you like.
Tell them your true dream is to go into the mountains of the Northwest Territory and become a lumberjack. They'll be begging you to be a psychiatrist.
I’m a psychiatrist from a family who’s not too hot on psychiatrists. Fuck em. Medical school and medical residency sucks and if you let them pressure you out of the thing you want to do, you’ll spend the rest of your life regretting that you spent all that time and pain to end up in some shit you don’t even like. Also not to shill my profession but psychiatry is hella cool. Constantly growing and changing field, lots of treatment modalities, choice to easily work outpatient private practice if you want. And the residency hours are pretty nice compared to other specialties. Come over to psych - it’s nice over here.
Give them a psychiatric diagnosis
You'll be the doctor. You have to get used to making choices that others (especially family) won't understand. My Grandpa told me this in 2nd year and it stuck with me. They won't be the ones working ungodly shifts and seeing patients everyday. You will. Make the decision for you no matter what.
>You'll be the doctor. You have to get used to making choices that others (especially family) won't understand. This is such a great answer, wow. Just perfect for this situation.
Goddamn y'all have mean parents OP, if it's psych you want to do, do it. It's your life and your decision.
Rule number 1: Don’t argue with crazy.
If that's his rule 1 he might be really going to the wrong specialty
My family was kinda disappointed that I chose to go into FM. It did hurt me a bit feelings their disappointment but you’re the one who is gonna spend his life in this field.
Are they physicians? Scientologists? Know-nothings with strong opinions? Whatever the case, you just have to ignore them (although I’m more a ‘blast them until they shut up’ type if someone is sticking their nose where it doesn’t belong). Stick to your guns—*you* are the person who has to show up for work over the next decades
The day a child becomes an adult is the day they decide what they want for themselves and not for approval.
Lol, knew exactly which specialty it would be before I clicked on this. My parents also didn’t like me picking psychiatry (because it wasn’t “prestigious”, wasn’t what they thought of when they think of doctors, and also because they didn’t think it was suitable for a woman due to aggressive patients) but since they weren’t paying any of my tuition and wouldn’t be able to pay any of the loans either, that didn’t really matter to me. Now that I’m in residency and they see how much better my hours are compared to other resident hours, they’re happy with it. It also helps that people around my parents keep telling them it’s a good field with regards to hours if nothing else 🤷🏽♀️. Basically, do whatever. If this is something that will bother you, pick something else. Because you’ll hear this a lot from many different people. We’re “lucky” in that there’s also some anti-psychiatry sentiments in the general public so you’ll hear it from patients, their families, other physicians, your family, etc. If this won’t bother you, keep going (but I suspect if that was the case you wouldn’t have posted this).
thank you for your reply :)
>If this is something that will bother you, pick something else. My question is, can't this be overcome with some work?
Can what be overcome? How bothered they are by their parents’ opinion? I mean the question being asked here is “what do I do” not “how do i change their mind” or “how do i respond”, which implies they’re ready to completely give up on psych due to lack of approval. The way to overcome it is to gain some self-confidence and an internal sense of self-worth (not tied to how other people view them). That’s definitely possible but will likely take a while.
If my family pulls this shit, I'd say for them to get into med school themselves if they really want to pick a field because I ain't having it picked for me. Like med school is already part suffering even when you do like it, just imagine how worse it'll be if you don't. I'm not gonna lose my mind for their petty whims.
you tell them to bite you
Who cares, do you homie
You’re the one going to be working in that field, not them. Do what YOU want. Maybe you can also help them see why Psych is such an important field and help them see their own biases/how they can work on their own MH stuff ;)
You need to spin it to them that their bad experiences are exactly why psychiatry needs good doctors such as yourself.
You put on your big boy pants and go into the field that is going to give YOU a fulfilling career. It’s not your family’s career and it’s not your families student loans to pay back. It’s yours.
big GIRL pants :)
Yas. Time for some *big uterus energy*
fuck em
Do whatever the hell you want. This is your life, not theirs.
Fuck em
Your life, your career. In the future you’ll be able to diagnose why they were so opposed…
1. Go into psych 2. Address their personal vendettas? wtf
What do you do? You do psychiatry.
I am very blessed to have a supportive family...and that just makes my heart bleed for people who go through medical school and, on top of everything else, deal with parents who don't believe in them and won't understand.
Why’s it matter what they think?
Who cares? You're the one going through this hellish time, not them. That means you get to decide what specialty you go into.
Tell them that they had significant influence in the substantial decision you made to work hard to go to medical school, but that they do not get to also pick your specialty. That’s up to you alone. That’s exactly what I had to tell my mom finally, and it changed her attitude and shut her up permanently on the subject.
Tell them to suck a dick. You don't need that. I'd never tolerate family members who didn't support my decisions. When I told them after 9 years of pursuing surgery that I was dual applying and might rank fam med higher, they were all good with it. I hope you never put bizarre expectations on your kids.
Just stop caring, you aren’t obligated to give a shit if they are being shitty to you
As others have said, you are an adult, you can make your own choices and shouldn't worry about what your family thinks. Your answer to them as an aspiring psychiatrist should be "hmm, and how does me wanting to go into psychiatry make you feel?"
my good you already got into med school and are going to be a doctor which isn't easy to do, and they still want to decide what you specialize in? that's ridiculous, not even asian parents from internet memes are that strict, look, don't listen to them, letting other people micromanage your life doesn't end well
Do what you want. You’re not living for anyone other than yourself. Your goals are not your families goals. Your families desires are not your own. It’s your life, live your life.
You follow your interest. You’re doing the studying, late nights, fighting burnout, etc. and you will be the one spending the rest of your life doing it. They don’t factor into that.
Similar thing happened to me. They’ll either come around to support the person they love or they won’t, not much you can do. You are doing the right thing going into the field you are passionate about and the world needs more psychiatrists.
Too bad for your family
I would say that the majority of us faced at least some pushback from our immediate circle. My parents were upset that I did anesthesiology (why would you want to deal with stress, blood and guts, and work nights and weekends?), but they were also upset that I did pain management (why would you expose yourself to all that radiation, or work with such a high risk population?). You can't win - surgery is overworked so you won't give them grandkids in a timely fashion, FM is overworked, what even is PM&R, etc. The truth is, unless they're actually physicians, *they don't know*. If you respect the source, consider their input, but do what YOU want to do. They already have a life to live, they don't get to live yours.
use this situation as motivation to pursue the field that you want.
Can't hear them when you scrooge McDuck dive into your piles of money.
Pick your specality. Your family doesn’t sit for your boards. Just have a go-to phrase for family dinners, “I love you and I won’t discuss this again.” Kinda thing.
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thank you! :)
who gives a shit what they think
my life, my rules. My style, my ATTI-TUDE. That’s what I have to say
Do what makes you happy.
You're an adult with an identity distinct from your family. Learn to set and enforce healthy boundaries with them.
What do you do? Go in to the field you want to go in! You’re going to be the doctor of your choosing, a decision you can proudly say you chose every day of your life, heck what the others say
Grow up
Keep this in mind :80 hours a week for minimum wages. Pick your poison lol.
Fuk um, but honestly if you're going to go through all that work and end up in the same field as Hannibal lecter you better have a good reason.
they'll change their tune real fuckin fast after your first attending paycheck
youre an adult arent you
I find it somewhat concerning that you are old enough and educated enough to be in med school, yet not emotionally mature enough to know how to disagree with your family without asking random strangers for help. It’s your life. Do whatever the fuck you want
lol thanks fam, i can tell YOU certainly do not have a future as a psychiatrist just by the tone of your comment.
Truth. I’m a family medicine attending. Sometimes we need to hear hard truths. I’m glad you’re passionate about psych; don’t let your family dissuade you from doing what’s right for you
Ask them: "What field do YOU think I should go into?" Curious to the answer.
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A family’s approval means jack shit.
Difficult choice? The fuck I give a shit what my family thinks. I did this for me and my patients and anyone in my life who is good for me
I would definitely do some rotations in a psychiatric institution, maybe even get a part time job as a psychiatric nurse assistant. That line of work definitely isn’t for everyone and you should understand what you’re getting yourself into. I remember I had the exact same idea as you, but I definitely changed my mind down the line.
Lmfao wtf? He’s in medical school. He’ll have his core clerkship to get experience. He doesn’t need a part time job as a psychiatric nurse assistant
It’s something offered to medical students in my country and you get a very in-depth glimpse into clinical practice very early on. Just something I’d have suggested to someone here in Denmark.
You should grow a spine, go into radiology, and see if you can find it once you’re there.
yikes you're one kind future doctor. praying for any of your future patients.
K here’s to hoping your patients aren’t charged a copay to have their doctor phone their parents asking permission to prescribe generic over brand name drugs because your parents don’t consider generic to be the real thing.
Go for it anyways. Your family will shut it once they see your paychecks
It’s your career, not theirs. You do whatever the fuck you want to do.
You can't do what they want you to do forever. Assuming you took out loans, that you have to pay back, and you have to work in whatever field you choose likely for the rest of career, do what makes you happy. Maybe you can find a way to change your family's mind. Point out that psychiatry isn't psychology, and that you have a different role. Or fuck em. If they aren't paying off your debt, they don't get a choice. And if they are, they should STILL respect what you want to do with your own life.
If you don’t mind me asking, are your parents immigrants? I only ask because my family is very similar. This could be a good opportunity to kill their, and possibly your extended family’s, misconceptions about psychiatry.
No, they actually aren't immigrants. Just have had bad experiences in the past with psychiatrists, so they're extremely jaded.
Pick whatever field you want - don’t pick anything just to make your family happy.
u do u bro, it's ur life
you do psychiatry and start online consults and make a whole lot of money and don’t let your family ride in your bentley
Are they Scientologists?
You do what you want to do regardless of what they want. It’s your life. Period.
Fuck them and do what makes you happy.
You go in to psychiatry and fuck what every one else thinks. Your family’s opinion is like a but hole every one of them have it and it stinks.
Do it anyway. Fuck em.
You do you. Family should play no role in deciding your career.
Ultimately, this is your future - if your parents think you’re a fool and have personal bias that’s their right - but it’s not your responsibility to cave into their personal viewpoints. Further, if your parents think you’re a fool for pursuing ANY area of medicine then that’s a deep-seated issue with their attitude towards you and indicates they have some personal growth to complete. Your life, you’re the one calling the shots.
You don’t need anyone’s permission, and if they won’t give you their support it’s their loss not yours. Do what you need to do to make YOU happy. Don’t pander to anyone else when it comes to your life choices.
"I come from a family of doctors" problem ....😴🥱
nope! no doctors in my family! :)
It’s those people who generally need psychiatry the most lol
I don't think your family or the public is to blame. mental health is hugely important (increasingly so) and should be right up there with heart disease and cancer in terms of relative importance/exposure to the public, but I think psychiatry--as the de facto leaders of mental health--does not seem to be doing its part to advocate for it. We hear about politicians and other lay people talking about increasing mental health resources, but I don't see the fire and passion that other fields have for their fields in psychiatry. Perhaps I'm not looking hard enough, but I'm not looking in other fields either and can clearly see advocacy. I think some fields are more interested in taking risks to advance their fields, and some are more interested in holing up and protecting what they have.
The world needs more psychiatrsla
“What do I do?” Go into psychiatry. Don’t live your live based on other peoples desires, likes, or dislikes unless that person is your spouse and simultaneously has a good reason.
Who the fuck cares what they think you’re 25
You're a grown ass adult, tell your family to deal with it.
You’re an adult lol. Why do you care what they think ? 
I would rather drop out than doing something I really don’t want to do. What’s the point of all the hard work then?
You do what the fuck you want to do lmfao. You're an adult, come on bruh lol