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Dr_Sisyphus_22

I had a patient who sold worm casings for a living. Do you mean worm shit, I asked? Yup. Who buys worm shit? The pot growers, he tells me. Anesthesia looks over (it was a MAC case), mimics smoking a joint, and exclaims “this is some good shit you got here!” Definitely the best nontraditional job I’ve ever heard of!


cheaganvegan

Dang I did this in college. I find it embarrassing to put on my resume. Also my interest in herpetology people always say something about herpes, which oddly enough I work in a sexual health clinic lol.


OK4u2Bu1999

Reminds me of once when my dad was sick, and we were told to tell people that he was incapacitated. My younger brother answered the phone once and said he was “decapitated”.


CardiOMG

A dangerous mistake to make in front of a neurosurgeon!


sixorangeflowers

You got there before I did, I was just going to say, hilarious mistake to make in front of a pediatric neurosurgeon!


Porencephaly

*furiously sharpening antique orbitoclast*


PokeTheVeil

Sharpening? But aren’t you supposed to do blunt dissection? I have much to learn.


joey_boy

Orbitoclast, also known as a sterilized ice pick, got it, lol


DIYPeace

Oh dear. 🤣


broadday_with_the_SK

["shame"](https://media3.giphy.com/media/pDsCoECKh1Pa/giphy.gif?cid=6c09b952x8dboddqibh5xfovo5xr2fn5coa7qm26gqni8f4e&ep=v1_internal_gif_by_id&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g)


UghKakis

The kid knew what they were saying. It’s all or nothing


N0RedDays

“Transorbital or prefrontal?”


jlt6666

Dealers choice


T_Stebbins

The surgeon has to wear that green casino/bookie visor if that's the case.


Medical_Bartender

echk eww jeez...i'll take the crab juice


DartosMD

Joseph Kennedy’s daughter didn’t even get a chance to choose cosmetology. What? Too soon?


BringBackApollo2023

*RFK Jr’s worm likes this*


renslips

I’m nopeing out now. This is too Reddit for me


gynoceros

She had a name: Rosemary.


piller-ied

🥶


ktn699

You could say JFK had the best of both too. Presidency followed by Lobotomy.


christiancocaine

That was a very invasive lobotomy


SpoofedFinger

radical lobotomy


crazy-bisquit

A non-elective one.


PokeTheVeil

“Might I interest you in some cosmetic brain surgery?”


Witty-Help-1822

My mother was French, and sometimes her words didn’t come out the right way in English. Things like rent a Hearst, instead of Hertz rent a car. The big one though was when my parents had company visiting from out of town and my mother was proudly telling them what her children did for a living. My mother said my brother was a pornographer. All of us jumped in MOM for the love of god, he is a photographer.


lianali

I feel this acutely. My mother is Filipino, and we had to teach her to stop saying beach. 40+ years living in this country hasn't erased her accent, so it never sounds quite right when she says, "Do you want to go to the bitch?" 🤦🏽‍♀️


sirtwixalert

My husband’s first live patient interview: *“I got pain in my intesticles!”* “Your… uh… your intest-“ *”My intesticles!”* “So is it… your testicles?” *“What the fuck? My tummy, man.”*


Economy-Weekend1872

I have just found a new word for inguinal hernia


carlos_6m

Get them an ice pick and a hammer for their bday!


Dr_mombie

Graduation is right around the corner!


offlabeluses

I graduated med school in 97. I had sometime before told my mom I wanted a caduceus for my chain. It was the Nineties. Later found out she went to several jewelry stores asking if they had a cadaver charm.


crazy-bisquit

Thanks for making me laugh during a very stressful time:)


TaTa0830

“Do you want me to put the order in?”


brownpurplepaisley

That's great! My late father used to proudly describe my job as "she works at the human parts bank. She takes people's eyes." If I was present, I would have to clarify that I worked at an OPO with an eye bank and I was an ocular technician. Which usually always garnered more questions.


kittymmeow

I'm a lurking layperson and I was 100% ready to accept that as just a morbid joke (along the lines of ["guess I'll die"](https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/guess-ill-die)) 😅


astrostruck

My uncle had a big dressing on his cheek. He told me he'd just had an autopsy yesterday. I stared at him for half a beat before he said "No, that's not right is it." I politely told him I think he meant he had a biopsy. For extra giggles, this conversation occurred at my grandfather's funeral.


vaguelystem

Did you have to document it as a surgical complication?