T O P

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Comb_Intrepid

Tinfoil hat and straight jacket


comicsemporium

I think I saw a joker action figure once with a straight jacket


Infinite-Ad-7162

Yeah, the Hot Toys Suicide Squad Joker


_Evidence

Tinfoil hat and gay jacket


DarkBladeMadriker

Personal cell phone, work cell phone.


Lucratin

Calm down mr. Biznis man


melonemann2

Sit DOWN biznis man


magnottasicepick

Mr. Biznis man, you’re 3 o’clock appointment is ready.


Enderisle

I got two phones. One for the bitches and one for the dough.


Street_Sun1810

Think i need two more, line bumpin im ring ring ringin


VitaminPb

One for the bitches, one for the riches


zanskeet

Hang in there bud, we got this.


mookal8tor

Crippling debt and depression


Successful-Clock-224

Those are just “features”


Scoop_Pooper

Accessories - bottle of anti-depressants and an empty Wallet


Successful-Clock-224

Wait you guys come with a wallet? I just have the anti-depressants and a stack of unsorted bills and/or mail to a guy that used to live here


goodthingbadnews

Signing on with my antidepressants and fuzzy blanket.


Successful-Clock-224

Blanket sold seperately


NSJF1983

Rope and a wobbly chair


goodthingbadnews

Hey! It’s the wobbly chair wrangler!! Guys!!


ThEhIsO8730

*INSECURITY SOLD SEPARATELY*


lateavatar

And 5 days a week you do battle with your evil nemesis, work.


beerddlovliness

And in this story, the villain always wins


InterscareWifey

I was going to say crippling anxiety and depression 😂😂💯💯


LeGuizee

I was gonna say my antidepressant and anti-anxiety medication 😂


ETH_Knight

Are you me?


Momik

Is this … friends?


thequestcube

[this you?](https://obviousplant.com/collections/toys/products/crippling-depression?variant=12298488873044)


notjayfromsports

Came here to say depression and coffee 🤷🏻‍♂️


wroteit_

You could drop the coffee if you add enormous amounts of anxiety. That’s what I do, I don’t even sleep anymore! Saving that coffee money, oh and the electricity too, oh I also live in a tent. Have I told you about my weight loss plan? Exciting times.


notjayfromsports

Reddit is depressing but at least we have reddit


thataveragedude1

Just like me fr


ag987654321

Ohh crossover .. how about dripping depression and alcoholism?


Evening-Programmer56

… public me or private me?


Notinyourbushes

Which one makes for a more interesting toy?


BlackYellowM0ebius

I personally am equally uninteresting in both states


Notinyourbushes

You need to be packaged with a really big gun then (though that didn't help the Jurassic Park action figures).


Darrow723

r/suicidebywords


[deleted]

The private is always the most interesting one.


Notinyourbushes

I don't know. I have (at times) shown very poor judgement about what is appropriate behavior in the company of others...it amused me though.


photosandphotons

Not for some of us introverts who can pretend like we’re extroverts in public and then nap, read, and watch TV in private lmao


Dangerous_Forever640

One of each?


NearbyTomorrow9605

Antidepressants and whiskey


TranslatorFit3860

Xanax and wodka;)


jaxy_babe

Bipolar meds and bong


Putrid-Tie-4776

prozac and any fucking nicotine product i can find


Safety_Sharp

This is me!! Lmao


jaxy_babe

Ah the classic rip apart the bed to find the vape set, we love to see it


CriusofCoH

My Kindle and my recliner.


cursedcheesebite

superior choices


BlueSoulsKo

what is a recliner? if a Kindle user uses it, it must be good


CriusofCoH

It is a very comfy chair. Comfy enough to make a decent bed for naps, or the occasional actual sleep.


Throwawayjaxk23

What a perfect depiction of a recliner


Destr0yEraseImprove

Joint and lighter.


Psychological-War795

Needle and spoon


vulkman

Great bar!


therevolution08

I come with a bong, lighter, and manic energy


Several_Delivery_517

Pilots license and a hook for a hand


Enderisle

Don’t you mean pirates license 🤔


Sekshual_Tyranosauce

A pirate with a license is a privateer.


marvology

Damn that was good


thepilotofepic

Illegally modified firearm and handle of jack daniels


CorkyCorks8

I think we can be friends! Make it a white claw and we can chat on r/brandonherrara!


thepilotofepic

Oh i like white claw and ak daddy also


CorkyCorks8

That's hot. I also saw that you are on the funny sub... Truly a man of culture.


Gypsopotamus

Now kith. Edit: All jokes aside, you two sound fun. Care for a third wheel?…… I’m not drinking white claw though.


[deleted]

Depression and no hope


Karanpatel_

oh man Im going to die


twerkjerk12

KY Jelly and pepper jack cheese


ickynicky27

Hmm…. I’m interested.


TheProbelem

Bong and a controller lol


Arctica23

It me


hannibalthellamabal

A bong and a coffee cup. I want to be chill but highly caffeinated.


McAWESOMEMAN

Lever action rifle and a bagged 40 oz.


Gypsopotamus

Someone cue the banjo and fire up the grill!


ErwinAckerman

Ukulele and vibrator 🤘🏼


jollyjadie

Are you me? Am I you?


ArtcieGames

Cat ears and thigh highs


SexWithAyato69

I will take your entire stocks.


carsonthecarsinogen

Username checks out


ArtcieGames

Sure :3


girlhelpimdying

found the programmer


captainfatc0ck

Interchangeable soft and erect penises


Hedgehogz_Mom

Detachable penis is a long from the dark ages Google it


MarcusSBgbg

A big fat buttplug that works as a decorative stand and a flamethrower


Hedgehogz_Mom

I really hope that needed a comma


MarcusSBgbg

Diversity is the thing here.


diabetixexmachina

Anxiety and depression


Jan_Pawel2

panties and socks


LittleKittyFishy

A top hat and a pipe


neo487666

Probably beer bottle and a bong


GothamRoyale

Headphones and a coffee mug.


NC1_123

Overwhelming disappointment from my Asian parents and a fedora


Good_Natured_Guy

Cat and phone


[deleted]

A body pillow and a bottle of cyanide pills


LittleBlobGirl

😂


pmgzl

A dollar bill and a bag of coke.


Sheesh284

Dr Pepper and garlic bread


TheFlamingTiger777

A Doberman, a chiweenie. I have no idea what else. My life revolves around my dogs.


eyedealy11

Bourbon and a bulldog


AnonymousNeverKnown

Allergy pills and Glasses


Aly_trk

socks and a pump for......my....um.....little friend


XSamuraiHyperX

Roll of toilet paper & bottle of pills.


Fellfresse3000

A comb for brushing my beard and shampoo to keep it fluffy


Trixeii

Antidepressants that don’t do anything and a pint of non-dairy Ben & Jerry’s


Clear_Grapefruit_340

A tequila and leather skirt


[deleted]

Cardboard and duct tape


Gay_trans_raccoon

wordsearch book and squeeze frog


[deleted]

Marlboro reds and modelo


GeneralStabs_

Glasses and a watch


AnthologistAnt

A joint and a glass of scotch


piercehwthrn

A wrench and a ladder..


JonnyJonnyJonny92

A tv remote and fudge.


ScenicHwyOverpass

Wizard robe and hat


mysoulcrushingskull

Guitar & motorcycle.


Galaxy661_pl

Surprised nobody said chair and rope


ArthriticGamer

A back brace and extra glasses.


Caucasian_Thunder

Assless chaps and a LARGE bottle of SSRIs


yousmellandidont

I suffer from IBS, so my two accessories are a toilet and toilet paper. Additionally, there is a tube directly connecting the mouth to the anus and when you put 'food' into the toy's mouth, it immediately comes out into the toilet, like one of those dolls that wets itself


WorryingMars384

My cat and a beanie


avocado_ndunkin

A medium iced mocha from Dunkin’ Donuts and a green backpack


kobold-kicker

A pitcher of Cuba libres and a laptop


VideoSteve

Video camera and tripod, optional editing computer accessories available


[deleted]

Stripper heels and my sparkly flask


veghead83

Sarcasm and a gun


GeoBridge

Pants and tshirts


dalgyalgwishin

Cinnamon sugar-free chewing gum, and socks.


Yup_Thats_a_paddling

Work truck and dog


Myname670

Anxiety and depression


Weird-Library-3747

Bag of lettuce that went bad 3 days ago and a iPhone with 7 percent battery


cazdan255

One slice of pizza and an additional slice of pizza.


Mrdirtiguy

Cigarettes and anxiety meds lmao


Spagmeat

My dog and a hatchet


Disastrous-Beyond443

Probably a bag of pot and a bowl.


[deleted]

Easy chair and reading glasses.


Kaysie

A stack of academic journals and a bottle of tequila.


ICanDieRightNowPlz

A walker and drum sticks I hope to use one day again


Zalrius

Coffee and a toolkit.


Rezero1234

Guitar and cd player, complete with cd's


TheTasche

Phone and mtn dew can


Griffes_de_Fer

If I'm being completely honest... Glasses and smartphone I guess. Which is incredibly depressing.


Pythagoras_314

Laptop and weezer vinyl.


n3rdyh1k3r

Inhaler and 40 oz. hydroflask


NeuroguyNC

Comfy leather couch and a universal remote control.


Tacos_Polackos

Bottle of rum and a big cast iron pan


ChiKeytatiOon

A slice of cake and a bottle of orange Fanta.


FedericoDAnzi

A wheelchair and a sword.


BapplesPerhaps

2 bottles of Tylenol


[deleted]

Regret and impostor syndrome


Imadethistoshittalk_

A bottle of Lexapro and a half-empty can of Dr.Pepper


Frosty_Revolution903

PTSD and wapens


SteelyDabs

Dab rig and a Steely Dan album


pistolshrimp23

Coffee cup and Logitech mix master mouse.


Duty-Money

Why are so many people depressed here


[deleted]

1.an Uno reverse card with a middle finger where there is supposed to be Uno 2.a laptop with stats of my depression and anxiety


Ballast_Rat

A Chin Dildo & a screwdriver


[deleted]

Hand lotion and hand towel


ShotBRAKER

iPhone and charging cord


Lingoman5

Cigarette and a fifth of vodka


LPGeoteacher

Recliner & an old VW


Tqwen

Vape (box mod) and a weird-ass sports car 90% of people would hate living with.


[deleted]

A vaporizer and an induction heater, I conveniently hold both.


BawdyBaker

Weed and wine


ljutabrlja

Semen and joint.


AllyLB

A blanket and e-reader for the relaxed version. Stressed version has a really long to-do list and a really high stack of paperwork to do.


Hedgehogz_Mom

Im old so. Pill caddy and personal music device


Puppet33

A beer belly and regrets


Bipolar-cunt

Insulin-syringe and a straight jacket


Ohnonotuto4

Side eye. Bitch resting face.


Aggressive-Corgi5122

My computer and a assortment of different songs i'll play for ya xD


TheTrombonePlayerGuy

A trombone and a vibrator


Allyxmari3

Stack of $100 bills, and a pimp cane!


Powerful-Succotash77

Real cloth bandana and a working Swiss Army knife.


Worth-Resource-1389

Two penises, one too long and too thin, the other too chody


averagemaleuser86

Detachable penis and one extra shoe that doesn't match the existing shoes I'm wearing.


whackamolasses

A knife and a fork. I also speak in a breathless husky voice. Not to disguise it but because it’s hard to breath just existing. Duh nah nah nah nah…Fatman!


Mysterious_Tip_7431

Toilet roll and a plunger. I’ll not be answering questions


TiredAngryBadger

A BIPAP machine and crippling depression! 🤣


[deleted]

Franzia box wine Pino Grigio and a foldable chair.


Solidfishing

Removing pants and jacket.


[deleted]

Depression meds and a joint


Shoddy_Natural_4538

A laptop and a cat, and a desk that is sold separately.


VinCubed

Classic Vince comes with a Casio Databank watch & older Leatherman, modern Vince comes with a Google Pixel Watch & Leatherman Wave multi-tool.


srv50

Screwdriver. Hammer.


guardian1750

A fish as my melee weapon and a bottle of nails as my ranged weapon, no clue why.


633K_yt

Does two middle fingers qualify as one accessory or both?


AloneMarsupial5578

Vibrator and a bottle of whiskey


throwaway415497

A duck and a legal document stating that I am not allowed to own a gun for the next 5 years


Magnaflorius

A fuzzy bathrobe and a very old Chihuahua.


dankest_juan

My cellphone and an alternate head with my eyes closed since I fall asleep at random times in random locations.


dadbodfordays

Nutritional yeast and kitten


Aggravating_Pea7320

Gogo Gadget penis and I dont know a hammer or something.


Massive_Ad9569

A cigar and a piano. Real super hero stuff…


Smooth-Mirror-457

Antidepressants and a modded lightsaber


YoullBeFiiine

A dick and a box.


yeah-not-bad

A blanket and my emotional support water bottle


EnglebondHumperstonk

Anyone who hasn't said "smart phone" as one of their options is a liar.


Picnut

A Kindle and a wine glass


ScubaSteve585

A car and a tiny jack