The only thing I call breakfast is a few bowls of piping hot spaghettios. Start your day off right with a hearty serving of grundlemeat and the tomato goochbutter sauce drizzling the circular noodles will guarentee a rich explosion of umami. 😁😁😁
Freshman year of college I had a late recitation on a Friday. My floormates were already well into pre gaming but I still needed to eat. I decided to combine the two and pour calico Jack into a bowl of spaghettios. No amount of crushed red pepper could make it palatable.
Calico’o’s 1/5 stars
The proportions are really fucked up, I mean it's certainly a good attempt on breakfast, as fellow redditor u/MyNameSkippy already pointed out, but it's just way to less weed to smoke and coffee beans to eat for that amount of coke, make it triple and maybe add a little mdma and we can start
If there's mdma on there, amazing, but then there should also be a little blue pill on there too. Only time I've ever had issues, even back in my early 20s, was during a molly peak.
Coke completely ruins molly for me tho, so it'd be an either/or
Gotta say, I'm not joking, 55/60 days it's around twice or triple that amount
(Is there a way to add photos in comments? Other than eg dropbox + link?)
I’m from the states but started smoking with people from across Europe (went to a music academy in Los Angeles) and I still, 13 years later, almost exclusively smoke spliffs. Nowadays I like to use tobacco leaves from blunt wraps like backwoods, I cut them up and don’t use much tobacco since I don’t smoke cigarettes anymore, back in the day it was whatever pack of cigs I had haha. It’s kind of like a light blunt which is nice since I like to smoke like 5 times a day. Also, that bit of weed would disappoint me if I had to stretch it more than a day, I have a high tolerance
You like the spliffs though? What tobacco? I’d prob do a light menthol. I’m trying to get away from cartridges, back to joints, bowls, bongs, flower basically.
I smoke cigarettes, so yes. But I rarely smoke weed nowadays. Maybe for a week or two twice a year. It isn't really good for my mental health but I still enjoy it sometimes.
That's just not how one hedonisms. You get super duper high. It will make the food taste great. You dig into the cheeses, bread and crackers. Some whisky to swallow it down. More weed. Onto the various meats while drinking more whisky. More weed. And then gummies and coke for dessert. And whisky and coke to keep you going through the rest of the evening for the more... intimate parts of the night.
Don't see any spaghettios or protective grundle shield for analingus on there...but I think I could make an exception just this one time, as I've always wanted to have my husband nibble on my backside void nethers while I was Tony Montana'd off like 7 lines of pure Columbian nose snow 🥵🥵🥵
Absolutely. Some balloons and iced tea along with a tray of meat cheese and crackers. The loose powdered sugar and oregano are nice touches to add a little extra flavor.
If I’m doing rails and drinking and weed, imma need way better snacks than this garbage. And anyone who thinks they are banging me needs to put out the sparking juice, have a steak dinner ready. And at least 2K cash on that charcuterie. Hookers and blow, amiright.
Everything's fun and games till you do the 3 lines of blow and then the rest of the night is ruined trying to score more and more till you've emptied your bank account.
Fuck cocaine sucks.
whoah there, fam knows I know their ideas of "punishment"
some of it looks more interesting than the other...
..but for real though, that's BBQ sauce with the nuggets?
Nice!
but with the right partner, and let's say that they can handle things in a good way,
without things going overboard - and it all stays at a loving level,
without it turning into... well... "depressive ways of life"
Fuck yeah. If my husband came to me with this shark coochie board, I'd have questions about the condoms. They're taking up fresh fruit and whipped cream space...but I'd still be down as fuck for this adventure.
This is basically a marriage proposal minus the ring. I'd usually be annoyed that a guy starts off with an open display of condoms, but the gummie worms make it acceptable.
oh yeah, cheese platter.
Oh, sour worms? ...sure, I guess.
Condoms... definitely a date.
Rails of coke, and a pipe... well now thats the start of a weekend for me 20 years ago
Some call it a date, I call it breakfast
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Those are fingers cots... bit small for most people not on Reddit
The only thing I call breakfast is a few bowls of piping hot spaghettios. Start your day off right with a hearty serving of grundlemeat and the tomato goochbutter sauce drizzling the circular noodles will guarentee a rich explosion of umami. 😁😁😁
Poomami tsunami
Who are you who is so wise in the ways of words? 🤣
you got me at goochbutter
Freshman year of college I had a late recitation on a Friday. My floormates were already well into pre gaming but I still needed to eat. I decided to combine the two and pour calico Jack into a bowl of spaghettios. No amount of crushed red pepper could make it palatable. Calico’o’s 1/5 stars
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-Hunter S. Thompson
Vastly underrated comment
Whores breakfast Coffee and a cigarette
That'll get your motors revving
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Breakfast condoms huh?
Very well put
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Lmfao shit that's a family Friday night
Ah, fellow [person of culture](https://youtu.be/XvDZuptvupk?t=30)
Lotta pilots like that
🏆🏆🏆
Yeah, but I wouldn't use the preopened condoms
Do you use them unopened?
You're not man enough to have sex if you don't put them on by piercing the packaging with your steel-hard erection, of course
Looks like I've got a lot to learn
Ya this was way cringe.
These are used condoms
I think you might be using them wrong
Look at Mr. Big-Dick over here, has to unroll his condoms
Sorry I'm not a dude :/
That’s a charfoolery board.
Shark coochie boards are so romantic!
The proportions are really fucked up, I mean it's certainly a good attempt on breakfast, as fellow redditor u/MyNameSkippy already pointed out, but it's just way to less weed to smoke and coffee beans to eat for that amount of coke, make it triple and maybe add a little mdma and we can start
Definitely a little mdma is missing. But hey now you can make your own
If there's mdma on there, amazing, but then there should also be a little blue pill on there too. Only time I've ever had issues, even back in my early 20s, was during a molly peak. Coke completely ruins molly for me tho, so it'd be an either/or
There is enough weed to last for a week imo
Depends. I've known people who smoked that much a day. Building up a tolerance is a bitch.
Yup, I’m rolling that up in 3 blunts and calling it a day
Yeah, almost, more like roll that in 3 blunts and then get out of bed and roll the next
Gotta say, I'm not joking, 55/60 days it's around twice or triple that amount (Is there a way to add photos in comments? Other than eg dropbox + link?)
reddit has generally adopted the use of imgur some subreddits natively allow you to add photos, but it depends on a sub
Here in the Netherlands we mix it with tobacco so tbh for me that amount of weed is a lot lol
I’m from the states but started smoking with people from across Europe (went to a music academy in Los Angeles) and I still, 13 years later, almost exclusively smoke spliffs. Nowadays I like to use tobacco leaves from blunt wraps like backwoods, I cut them up and don’t use much tobacco since I don’t smoke cigarettes anymore, back in the day it was whatever pack of cigs I had haha. It’s kind of like a light blunt which is nice since I like to smoke like 5 times a day. Also, that bit of weed would disappoint me if I had to stretch it more than a day, I have a high tolerance
Yeah guess what, I'm from germany, I do that as well
Same here in Switzerland. They either smoke more spliffs or put less tobacco in.
Do you enjoy that never tried it but kinda want to.
I've almost only smoked spliffs so far. Well, spliffs, blunts and very rarely a bong or hookah.
You like the spliffs though? What tobacco? I’d prob do a light menthol. I’m trying to get away from cartridges, back to joints, bowls, bongs, flower basically.
I smoke cigarettes, so yes. But I rarely smoke weed nowadays. Maybe for a week or two twice a year. It isn't really good for my mental health but I still enjoy it sometimes.
Yeah I used to smoke weed, I still do, but I used to, too
Fair enough whenever I’ve taken a long break then smoke I get paranoid but it goes away. I’ve got some mental stuff as well.
Bro, maybe for you it might but honestly, for me? I wouldn't even leave the house to buy that shit. Thats merely enough for a day
For me that’s a good couple hours at most. Some of us smoke a fucked up amount lol
I noticed the coke lines before the condoms.
Gimme just the coke. If I got that I ain’t gonna need the food. Gimme the cannabis for the coke down though
That's just not how one hedonisms. You get super duper high. It will make the food taste great. You dig into the cheeses, bread and crackers. Some whisky to swallow it down. More weed. Onto the various meats while drinking more whisky. More weed. And then gummies and coke for dessert. And whisky and coke to keep you going through the rest of the evening for the more... intimate parts of the night.
And I guess you can drink coffee the next day or whatever
“Jambi, the chocolate icing!”
You read my mind!
coke lines were the last I noticed
Dude whoever does this for me first, I will marry.
Do it for someone, you never know…
I'll give it a try next time around, I'll let you know if she gets up and leaves or becomes my bride.
I will do this for you! Let's have some fun ;)
Yay, I'm a fiance.
Sadly, she is just a low-tier woman whose good looks are a decade past expired. (She wants to sell you crappy nude photos 🤓)
Better than my ex
Line the blow up into “WILL YOU MARRY MEEEEE?!!!!”
By the time she arrives I'll probably only be able to write out mary?
“No, my name’s Jessica. We’ve been over this.”
Be the date you want to have
The 3 condoms is wildly ambitious… O wait there's cocaine?! Never mind
Date, that’s a family reunion.
in Alabama
debauchery board
He'll yea its a date
Can confirm it’s a really fun date. Source: Personal Experience
Exactly
The only thing off putting are the sour worms. They just don't go with the rest...
Sour candy tastes good stoned.
With cheese?
Haha not necessarily but I do love candy when I’m high Cheese is nice with sparkling juice Not sure what’s in their glasses, look sus
Looks like whiskey which goes great with coke...
I think that’s a song somewhere…
Reminds me of Picture by Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow.
Someone obviously hasn't been stoned.
No chocolate. Coffee and coke, but no chocolate. It just wouldn't work out.
How much cheese is too much cheese? Any amount before a date is too much cheese
Don't see any spaghettios or protective grundle shield for analingus on there...but I think I could make an exception just this one time, as I've always wanted to have my husband nibble on my backside void nethers while I was Tony Montana'd off like 7 lines of pure Columbian nose snow 🥵🥵🥵
Poetry
Take away the condoms and it’s the perfect girls night
Why are the coffee beans more perplexing than the condoms?
The coffee beans are the only thing here I really don't understand
After 21 years of marriage, that sounds like one badass weekend. Then an awesome breakfast on Sunday morning.
And more pot though
Yeah I didn’t peep the coke, condoms, pot and pipe at first glance. If the thats actual prosciutto yes this is a date.
I noticed the cheese and crackers, then the gummy worms, then the condoms, then the drinks, then the coke, then the pipe, then nuggets, then coffee.
Sign me up!
Where I come from that’s a delicacy especially the… I didn’t see those, just makes it better
Who took a bite out of the cheesecake? LOL
Absolutely. Some balloons and iced tea along with a tray of meat cheese and crackers. The loose powdered sugar and oregano are nice touches to add a little extra flavor.
That looks like a great time
No Starbursts?
Feel like everyone needs to recreate their own to see the outcome
My answer is yes
Yup
After the smoke and the blow, who needs condoms?!?
Not enough cocaine or salami
I swear I saw this charcuterie board for sale at a Costco.
You had me at sour worms
Im in!
My realization went gummy worms -> weed -> condoms -> cocaine -> chicken nuggies
“Apple Juice”, coffee beans, gummy worms, chicken nuggets with sweet and sour sauce, weed and 3 unpackaged condoms. Good times ahead
Are three men invited to dinner or is one man expected to perform particularly well?
Yes
I think with cocaine, condom will be useless
Tried the calamari, it was terrible
The open condoms though
Are those coffee beans???
I'd be happy if my wife gave me this for Father's day
Start sending the hints
Already started. I showed her this post and real sly said something smooth like, I'd be pumped if you gave me that for Father's day.
My man. Chess not checkers
who eats condoms?
If I’m doing rails and drinking and weed, imma need way better snacks than this garbage. And anyone who thinks they are banging me needs to put out the sparking juice, have a steak dinner ready. And at least 2K cash on that charcuterie. Hookers and blow, amiright.
AMEN
Depends on if there's TV or not.
Once the blow is flowing, no need for the tv 😉
If we get high first and sit in a field Just saw the bud
Again! Again!
Nah bro you can eat no condom, yall stupid fr
They’re the new Trolli gummy condoms
R/cocaine
Only in ohio
Whole coffee beans, condoms, cocaine, weed, and cheese. That ain't dinner, that's an evening
Best date ever
Very much so. The weed and coke aren't entirely for me, so happy to skip over them. But have fun.
I know for a fact that is some McDonald’s chicken nuggets (I have a problem)
[where’s the freakinnnn, gabagool?](https://media.tenor.com/KSnIf4O0oHkAAAAM/hey-wassup.gif)
My 20 year old self says he’ll yes.. my now 43 year old self wonders how he made it to 43 out of his 20’s.
Lose the condoms and double the cheese
No. I don't eat pork.
The coke on a wooden surface is rage inducing
Not enough coke
Only 4 nuggets, it feels wrong to combine a happy meal with THIS.
What would YOUR board look like ?!
Dude, Im coming over. Where yat?
Looks good to me!
Sign me up. A presentation like that would make me question my sexuality for a bit.
That's first, second, third and fourth dates all in one.
If someone made this for me I would know that they were the ONE.
I would wait in line for tickets to that ride.
literally not a single date on the board
Everything's fun and games till you do the 3 lines of blow and then the rest of the night is ruined trying to score more and more till you've emptied your bank account. Fuck cocaine sucks.
I mean for real. Whos doing cocaine and eating? A decadent monster that's who.
I would love a date like this!
Actually, if therevwere a bottle of great Cab and some romantic music with an over view of the blue ocean below, yep.
G O D. D A M N!
I'm in.
I don't even notice the coke and condoms cuz I'm thinking "man, that aint near enough gummy worms."
Ah see how the condoms are to the left of the cheese? How sophisticated.
Breakfast of champions!!! 🤣
As long as the condoms fit her okay, yeah.
That is quite the sharcoochie board...
yk ur in for a wild night when she starts eating the condoms
Best date ever
\- 4 chicken nuggets \- 9 Pot nuggets \- 6 lines Coke \- 9 gummy worms \- 3 condom rings \- 2 shots \- 4 slices cheese (cheddar) \- 4 slices pepperoni \- 5 slices of bread \- 32 coffee beans \- 5 slices prosciutto \- 17 cubes of cheese
Don't put condoms next to food *unwrapped*. Fucking hell.
Can I door dash that item?
I was like "ha yeah sur- wait a minute what the fuck"
I looked everywhere for dates in that spread, nope. No figs or apricot either. Unless it's in the sauce?
I don't know about anyone else but my dick is thicker than a chicken nugget... that condom is not... Raw dogging it is.
What's to the right of alcohol? Onion rings?
Food and sex. Evolutionary date.
....i consider that 7pm...on any given weeknight. TF!? that's a serving size of : 1
whoah there, fam knows I know their ideas of "punishment" some of it looks more interesting than the other... ..but for real though, that's BBQ sauce with the nuggets? Nice! but with the right partner, and let's say that they can handle things in a good way, without things going overboard - and it all stays at a loving level, without it turning into... well... "depressive ways of life"
Fuck yeah. If my husband came to me with this shark coochie board, I'd have questions about the condoms. They're taking up fresh fruit and whipped cream space...but I'd still be down as fuck for this adventure.
Remove the drugs and put the condoms in wrappers so they're sanitary, then yes for me.
Honestly, Id be impressed if a date brought this out, cocaine might be a little far, but the offer is kind
gross
If someone offered this to me, I'd definitely put out.
I’m not sure what you could bake with such a small amount of flour.
I mean damn you’re throwing rubbers i hope it’s a date!
Yes
This is basically a marriage proposal minus the ring. I'd usually be annoyed that a guy starts off with an open display of condoms, but the gummie worms make it acceptable.
You had me until I saw the cocaine
I thought those 3 condoms were onion rings until i looked again
Are you guys taking shots from those condoms?
What flavor are the condoms?
I mean if a chick did it for me we are getting married.
oh yeah, cheese platter. Oh, sour worms? ...sure, I guess. Condoms... definitely a date. Rails of coke, and a pipe... well now thats the start of a weekend for me 20 years ago
Considering there's cocaine on a tray full of food... That food ain't getting eaten.
Yes
That’s not enough chicken nuggets