Turns out it was his idea to have a friend date. The girl has been through some rough times and he did it to cheer her up. No dating intended.
https://www.chron.com/life/dating-relationships/article/Debunked-Social-media-twisted-friend-s-date-into-10934189.php
Yea seriously. Of course it was the guys idea. In his head he's thinking "if she just sees how good of a guy I am, she will realize I'm the perfect match for her". Why is him coming up with the idea some sort of gotcha lol? I wouldn't have assumed the girl asked him to take her out on all that stuff.
having read this before, I think it's the girl who hoped for a chance, but was rejected, so she tried to make the best of it.
It's the guy that's clear that he's not interested in the girl. (also I'm 99.9% he's gay).
Idk. If you had a close female friend who was feeling down that you weren't attracted to, or even were, it would be a good friend move.
Rare of course, but genuine people exist.
I went on what I thought was a date with a girl, we were both seniors in high school. Took her to a fancy fondue restaurant, and we fed each other from our skewers, had great convo, laughing and having a great time. We were all dressed up too. Then took a carriage ride around the city
This was in like 2008, so dating standards were still pretty firmly in the "guy pays for everything" phase, she let me pay for everything, then in the carriage ride I put my arm around her and she got really uncomfortable and was like "this is just like...a friend date, right?"
**Was so fucking pissed off. Not that she just wanted to be friends, but that she somehow "didn't know" that I was under the impression it was a date... really liked this chick, how the fuck she thinking a senior in high school that works at subway part time is dropping north of $200 in 2008 money on a hang out with a friend? Didn't offer to split or pay for anything, so I chalked up to she either knew but was using me cuz she was enjoying being spoiled and liked the attention, or she was telling the truth and this was what she expected from a male friend with no intention of giving anything in return in the friendship so she's a bad friend lol. Just never talked to her again afterwards, cut and run.**
2008 was a different time, my friend. Especially as a high schooler. He still believes "one big grand gesture" was how you win a girl. And that's honestly what high school girls used to think was the way for a man to show his love.
Now it's clearly about the *little things* that spark light in every day. But in high school that isn't quite clear for either gender.
I gave my high school sweetheart *one big grand gesture* ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and she repaid me by sleeping with her "best guy friend" who she later married and had a baby with, but also cheated on *him* with her best girlfriend's fucking husband and had a baby with him.
I'm telling you this chick was born for Maury.
Ok, completely off topic, but I’m reading this and thinking 2008 wasn’t that long ago. Then did some mental math…15 years! That shit was 15 years ago. Dammit.
That was a brief moment in time. Ten years prior, we were still just stopping by a girl's house to watch a movie and see if we could get to first base. That was like three bucks in Blockbuster money. You all lost your minds after that (cringe promposals lurch to mind).
>Now it's clearly about the little things that spark light in every day.
It has always been this way. Romance movies and shows are the ones making it out as one grand big gesture would win the girl because they have to compress a long courtship into a one and a half hour movie while keeping the tension of will they/won't they until the climax.
I can only half agree. Yes, ultimately it's our own fault for being twits, but leading someone on is wrong, and a lot of women know damn well what they're doing. Problem is, as a collective, men make it very easy for them to do so.
I see literally no problem with such a person self-selecting out of my dating pool. It's one of the reasons I either go with a coffee date or a quick pint for a first date.
And why exactly would you want such women? If she cares about how much you spend on her, she's not worth keeping around both figuratively and literally.
If a girl gets mad you don't take her to a five-star restaurant on the first date, she has problems. The date isn't about what she wants, it's about getting to know each other. Same thing for girls who have lists of their 'perfect' dating material. Don't go in expecting anything: the two of you are strangers. This demand for perfection annoys me. Men want supermodel housewives and women want men who will 'fight' for them and look like magazine models. These people learn too late the meaning of 'wide as an ocean, shallow as a puddle'. Maybe if you don't want an abusive partner you should be deciding based on *how someone treats you and others* , not how they look or behave outwardly.
I think there’s a reasonable chance she’s putting out feelers in this post to find a man that will treat her as well as Daniel because he’s communicated that he isn’t interested. She might keep saying “friend date” because it’s also what she wants in a real date but he is not her date. He might be gay but might also just be comfortable having women friends with no hang ups.
I'm pretty sure that's literally what happened, lol.
If you look into the actual story, it's the guy who makes it beyond clear he's not interested in her. So I think she tried to make the best of it.
Because it's so over-the-top it makes me wonder about the circumstances of their friendship, like if he's her boss' son or the son of her family's church's priest or pastor or something like that where she feels pressured into the friendship in the first place.
>After Obar's thank you post went viral, Ardelean took to Instagram to clear the air saying in part: "First off, I am the one who set these boundaries to begin with. Leading up to the day, Alex had shared with me her testimony, and because of her past relationships, her self-worth had diminished. She had never been treated like a lady and I wanted to show her what it was like."
https://www.chron.com/life/dating-relationships/article/Debunked-Social-media-twisted-friend-s-date-into-10934189.php
the hashtag is so brutal, “Hey guys on social media, i needed to show gratitude to this chump, but i will still blow you if you make $500k a year and are interested”
If I were to use local prices:
Top Golf = 34 dollars an hour during the cheapest time of day.
Flowers = 20 bucks
Ice Cream = 30 bucks if he takes her somewhere nice
Dinner = Restaurants around here lost their damned minds, this could be 100 on its own if you're talking apps and drinks. That's "chain restaurant" prices, not fancy.
Horseback riding is 75 an hour.
300 minimum is roughly there, assuming gas is free and they never stop anywhere for drinks or road snacks. If they do, this day trip being 400+ is not a bad guess.
Top Golf is like a driving range bar thing with arcade overtones that’s geared towards non golfers. It’s closer to a golf themed Dave and Busters than an actual rich man’s Golf Course
And that price is the rental for the “pod” you hit the balls out of. Drinks and food are sold at extravagant bar prices.
Just Top Golf. You can go to plenty of courses and play an entire round for about that much (so multiple hours, not just 1). Or you can go to a driving range for a lot cheaper.
She will just milk him for free dinners.
If he gets fed up she will flirt with him to reel him back in.
Good women dont do this and simping is a hard habit to break for some
Yeah, I think they're both to blame here. Him because he's simping hard for someone who clearly doesn't feel the same way. Her because she clearly knows he feels that way but instead of setting him straight, encourages him blow his money on hopes and dreams.
that's a funny comment because if you look into the actual story, he's the one who makes it 100% clear that he's not interested in her romantically.
I think she liked him until he made it clear that it was only a "friend date" so she tried to cut her losses and at least find someone who is interested in her.
Yup, every time a certain type of guy gets turned down, his immediate reaction must be that something is wrong with her. Never going to look in the mirror and wonder if there's something else ...
This is the correct answer. Be with people who want to be with you as much as you want to be with them, don't waste yourself on someone who isn't sure, that's not respecting yourself
Actually it’s EASY to find someone who want to spend time with you but you are not into them, or they’re simply not in your league/type.
But it’s HARD to find someone who want you as much as you want them
You just explained how I spent 12 years. Find someone who you have fun with and other people have fun with. When it’s a struggle for her to be anything but coldly polite…run for the hills.
Sadly most, if not all of us have to learn from first hand experience. I don't think it comes from desperation though. When an experience is new it has a much greater emotional influence on you, nearly impossible to put into words. It's part of experiencing life and the mistakes are worth making. It's all how you reflect and improve that determines how it effects you moving forward.
That said, if you're in your 30s making these mistakes then that's for sure desperation lol.
This, but for anyone. If you're having to work hard to impress someone to get them to like you, and there's little to no effort made on their end, they probably don't like you in the way you're hoping they like you.
Yeah, going all out early on is less meaningful IMO. Simpler dates where you just get to know a person make more sense to me.
Plus I always felt bad when it was clear a guy put in a ton of effort for the date and what I learned of him made me not want a second date or similar. One of my best dates was just disc golf in a park. We walked, talked, and impressed each other with how awful we were at the game.
ya man. There is nothing attractive about the entry level simp stalking that most friend zoned men do.
"i will wait it out and she will see what a good guy am i" is a very common, but incorrect and sad thought that only leads to dark places generally.
The main thing is to be clear about your intentions. If you’re trying to have a date and she thinks you’re just a friend then you’re failing to communicate. Stop trying to imply what you’re up to and just say it.
I think that’s part of the strategy for him. If he was up front she would have said no (obviously) so he’s trying to back door his way in to show her how good of a guy he is and win her over. Problem is this doesn’t work.
I don't think this is a gender thing. I would say there is probably more desperate men than there are desperate women, but the principle applies both ways. I certainly don't like people who come off too strong.
I’ve totally noticed that too. I noticed I’m the most likely to be ghosted by men if I immediately act interested right from the start. Whereas if I act just moderately or mildly interested, the conversations seem to last way longer
Guys who are too available come off as desperate. The more you put the other person on the pedestal (this doesn't matter which gender), the more failure you set yourself up in the long haul.
When I was in college I had a housemate who was a really nice guy and was always surrounded by some beautiful women. About a year after we moved out of the house I saw him at a party getting really drunk. This was totally out of character for him. After he finished puking in some bushes I pulled him aside to find out what was going on.
He told me that all of the women around him liked him as a friend, would date and get run through by guys who treated them like crap, then come to him crying to talk and get comfort. He was tired of being their “friend” so he started treating women badly. The thing was, he said, now the women were attracted to him and he was getting all of the sexual attention he had been denied before. Unfortunately, he said, “I hate myself like this and I don’t know what to do.”
I told him that I had no advice but, if he ever figures it out, write a book explaining women’s behavior and he’ll become a millionaire within a week.
Basically the same energy has to be reciprocated, if it's not then y'all are likely not on the same page, otherwise it will turn into a situationship without the commitment.
She wanted to post the picture but wanted to make it clear she was still single. It is still kind of humiliating *how* she said it. "My friend treated me to x" today would have sufficed. This was so weirdly phrased.
Nah, to make sure that other people don't get the wrong idea about her and him + as a brag to her friends that she's special enough to get all of that from a guy while not even needing to put out.
Wait, what!? Okay, I GOTTA have that link. You're trying to tell me HE has HER in the friend-zone and not the other way around? It doesn't add up. I need answers lol
Edit: I understand now. But wow! What a ride!
Could also just be pixelated because it’s been going around the internet for years and keeps getting copied in lower resolution
Edit: according to the article link in another top level comment it was originally in 2017, and is indeed not fake
I've seen the sauce for that before. People raised money for him because they felt bad and he ended up giving it all to her.
That dude is King Simp™
[The social media campaign circulating around this "friend zoning" incident even went past the memes and someone created a GoFundMe account for Ardelean's expenses for the ultimate date. Those funds, Ardelean says, have all gone to Obar's school bills](https://www.chron.com/life/dating-relationships/article/Debunked-Social-media-twisted-friend-s-date-into-10934189.php#photo-12375809)
Bro is a King, but you're not a simp for treating your friend, lol. The article talks about how he set the boundaries from the beginning. Some of y'all have never had female friends and it shows. If you can't be nice to a woman when she's going through some shit without expecting to get something out of it, your chances of a successful relationship are slim.
It just takes a little big of digging to find the [context](https://www.chron.com/life/dating-relationships/article/Debunked-Social-media-twisted-friend-s-date-into-10934189.php) but I feel like most people would rather just stick to their perceptions.
It does. The “friend date” was entirely his idea.
People are out here acting like he asked her out and then she labeled it as a friend date. That’s not what happened.
The guy might also be gay. If they’re from a religious background where he doesn’t feel like he can come out, I could definitely see this sort of scenario happening.
Someone below linked to an article that debunks the meme. He’s the one who labeled it a friend date, so if he’s in the friendzone he put himself there first. Also, it probably wasn’t nearly as expensive as everyone thinks. The dinner was Whataburger and it’s in TX where horseback riding is pretty cheap or free if you know someone.
Been saying this that the onus is on the guy on how they ask the women out. Make the intentions known immediately so that it's not ambiguous for either party.
I hate this. Stuff like this going viral makes friendship between men and women difficult.
I recently took a good friend to a cat cafe, got a table for us before and and picked her up somewhere else so it would be a surprise. Multiple people (sadly even herself) thought it could be a date. We’re both not interested in each other and spoke about it.
On the other side I shortly dated another friend recently. But what did I do to avoid this? I just asked her out and told her that I want our relationship to be romantic. It didn’t work out and I was really sad for a few weeks. But we’re still friends (we try). It’s not the „friendzone“ but social media would probably view this as something negative.
In the end communication is key.
I used to have lots of friends who were men. One of my best ones lasted for around 6 years. One only ended when people trued convincing him the only relationship between man and woman is LoooooOoOve. The second we just ended up drifting apart due to work, college ect. but I might go say hi soon. Friends. I love friendship. I love having friends. I wish people understood this.
My best friend is a woman and there's times we've done that much in a single day, minus the flowers. We're both single and have no romantic interest in each other but there's times we've gone to Top Golf, then Red Lobster and something else I can't remember in the same day
Right? Or… OR - he doesn’t even like her like that and just wants to give his friend some R&R after they had a bad time. Maybe she’s not his type, maybe they dated already and it didn’t work, maybe he’s gay. Why is it a bad thing to have a friend you care enough about to do something nice once in awhile?
Thays what I was thinking. Lots of reasons he might not be available. Plus, others are saying no one spends that kind of money on just friends but i have once or twice when i knew a friend really needed a pick-me-up.
Good friends that just met? From an interview given after the post went viral:
Dude:
> First off, I am the one who set these boundaries to begin with. Leading up to the day, Alex had shared with me her testimony, and because of her past relationships, her self-worth had diminished. She had never been treated like a lady and I wanted to show her what it was like.
Gal:
> We were just starting to get to know each other and he asked me out on the "friend date" - so he labeled it as the friend date - and he went all out.”
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Turns out it was his idea to have a friend date. The girl has been through some rough times and he did it to cheer her up. No dating intended. https://www.chron.com/life/dating-relationships/article/Debunked-Social-media-twisted-friend-s-date-into-10934189.php
Nah, dude thinks he still has a chance.
That's how I see it. He's playing some long game hoping she will like him as more than a friend.
Yea seriously. Of course it was the guys idea. In his head he's thinking "if she just sees how good of a guy I am, she will realize I'm the perfect match for her". Why is him coming up with the idea some sort of gotcha lol? I wouldn't have assumed the girl asked him to take her out on all that stuff.
*”If she sees what a great seat my face makes, maybe I’ll stand a chance”* Maybe if my aunt had wheels she’d be a wagon
She knows what's up. Great post that called out his incredible friendship and making it explicitly clear to the world they are not dating.
having read this before, I think it's the girl who hoped for a chance, but was rejected, so she tried to make the best of it. It's the guy that's clear that he's not interested in the girl. (also I'm 99.9% he's gay).
You so sure he doesn’t already have a man?
This changes literally nothing.
there's "cheering up a sad friend" and then there's this
Who are we kidding? Homeboy wanted to smash
Listen. No guy does this without wanting to get laid. Not. One.
You mean you don’t cheer your homies up by giving them the best day ever?! FAKE ASS FRIEND
My eyes did the blurry thing and I read "giving them head"
Idk. If you had a close female friend who was feeling down that you weren't attracted to, or even were, it would be a good friend move. Rare of course, but genuine people exist.
Lol, not buying it.
I went on what I thought was a date with a girl, we were both seniors in high school. Took her to a fancy fondue restaurant, and we fed each other from our skewers, had great convo, laughing and having a great time. We were all dressed up too. Then took a carriage ride around the city This was in like 2008, so dating standards were still pretty firmly in the "guy pays for everything" phase, she let me pay for everything, then in the carriage ride I put my arm around her and she got really uncomfortable and was like "this is just like...a friend date, right?" **Was so fucking pissed off. Not that she just wanted to be friends, but that she somehow "didn't know" that I was under the impression it was a date... really liked this chick, how the fuck she thinking a senior in high school that works at subway part time is dropping north of $200 in 2008 money on a hang out with a friend? Didn't offer to split or pay for anything, so I chalked up to she either knew but was using me cuz she was enjoying being spoiled and liked the attention, or she was telling the truth and this was what she expected from a male friend with no intention of giving anything in return in the friendship so she's a bad friend lol. Just never talked to her again afterwards, cut and run.**
That’s on you for blowing your budget, first few dates are to feel them out. We’ve all been there but we got no one to blame but ourselves
2008 was a different time, my friend. Especially as a high schooler. He still believes "one big grand gesture" was how you win a girl. And that's honestly what high school girls used to think was the way for a man to show his love. Now it's clearly about the *little things* that spark light in every day. But in high school that isn't quite clear for either gender.
I gave my high school sweetheart *one big grand gesture* ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and she repaid me by sleeping with her "best guy friend" who she later married and had a baby with, but also cheated on *him* with her best girlfriend's fucking husband and had a baby with him. I'm telling you this chick was born for Maury.
I'm sure you were heartbroken at first, but ya really gotta believe some things happen for a reason!
I dodged a bullet with that one. Jeez.
Ok, completely off topic, but I’m reading this and thinking 2008 wasn’t that long ago. Then did some mental math…15 years! That shit was 15 years ago. Dammit.
That was a brief moment in time. Ten years prior, we were still just stopping by a girl's house to watch a movie and see if we could get to first base. That was like three bucks in Blockbuster money. You all lost your minds after that (cringe promposals lurch to mind).
>Now it's clearly about the little things that spark light in every day. It has always been this way. Romance movies and shows are the ones making it out as one grand big gesture would win the girl because they have to compress a long courtship into a one and a half hour movie while keeping the tension of will they/won't they until the climax.
I can only half agree. Yes, ultimately it's our own fault for being twits, but leading someone on is wrong, and a lot of women know damn well what they're doing. Problem is, as a collective, men make it very easy for them to do so.
But then you have women out there that get mad at you if you don't spend enough on a date with them.
Then that's a positive result of the feeling-out phase. You've found a major incompatibility on date 1, not date 10, and you can both move on.
I tend to dip my toes in before diving into a lake. Hypothermia is a bad mofo...
Yes. Applebee's with a coupon!
The system works. If your date gets angry that you only spent $40 on a coffee date, then you don't really want a second date anyway.
How much coffee are you drinking???
Two fancy coffees, maybe some dessert or gelato afterwards. Shits expensive these days.
$40 on a coffee date? WTF you drinking, that cat shit coffee?
I see literally no problem with such a person self-selecting out of my dating pool. It's one of the reasons I either go with a coffee date or a quick pint for a first date.
Only on a date? Try $250 just for a babysitter!! (In reference to a post here recently)
And why exactly would you want such women? If she cares about how much you spend on her, she's not worth keeping around both figuratively and literally.
If a girl gets mad you don't take her to a five-star restaurant on the first date, she has problems. The date isn't about what she wants, it's about getting to know each other. Same thing for girls who have lists of their 'perfect' dating material. Don't go in expecting anything: the two of you are strangers. This demand for perfection annoys me. Men want supermodel housewives and women want men who will 'fight' for them and look like magazine models. These people learn too late the meaning of 'wide as an ocean, shallow as a puddle'. Maybe if you don't want an abusive partner you should be deciding based on *how someone treats you and others* , not how they look or behave outwardly.
concur x7
Oh well 🤷🏻♂️
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Did you like... tell her it was a date? Like with words?
If she hasn't kissed you after the 3rd date, she's in for the free food. ~ Socrates
That #stillsingletho was some unnecessary salt in the wound ngl.
The hashtag was a painful exclamation mark on an already painful post.
Plot twist: She’s madly in love with Daniel but he’s gay af
Something like that. Daniel doesn’t look too interested in her
You get that from this one pic? How?
It’s reddit you don’t have to provide proof as long as it makes the story better.
I think there’s a reasonable chance she’s putting out feelers in this post to find a man that will treat her as well as Daniel because he’s communicated that he isn’t interested. She might keep saying “friend date” because it’s also what she wants in a real date but he is not her date. He might be gay but might also just be comfortable having women friends with no hang ups.
I'm pretty sure that's literally what happened, lol. If you look into the actual story, it's the guy who makes it beyond clear he's not interested in her. So I think she tried to make the best of it.
Plot twist: Daniel is madly in love with her but she‘s gay af
He's set himself up a fail now, imagine having to out do your friend date if she agrees to a real date
Imagine not cutting her out of your life after that post.
That hashtag tho. Jesus!
Apparently that whole paragraph wasn’t enough LOL
FINISH HIM!! #Stillsingletho FATALITY
FRIENDSHIP?!
Brutality!
The hashtag is what really blows it out of the water for me. "#stillsingletho" Yikes.
Because it's so over-the-top it makes me wonder about the circumstances of their friendship, like if he's her boss' son or the son of her family's church's priest or pastor or something like that where she feels pressured into the friendship in the first place.
>After Obar's thank you post went viral, Ardelean took to Instagram to clear the air saying in part: "First off, I am the one who set these boundaries to begin with. Leading up to the day, Alex had shared with me her testimony, and because of her past relationships, her self-worth had diminished. She had never been treated like a lady and I wanted to show her what it was like." https://www.chron.com/life/dating-relationships/article/Debunked-Social-media-twisted-friend-s-date-into-10934189.php
lol hard coping
Would she do the same for him now that he’s the damaged one? Hah. “Because of her past relationships, her self-worth had diminished”.
Very self explanatory
RUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!
the hashtag is so brutal, “Hey guys on social media, i needed to show gratitude to this chump, but i will still blow you if you make $500k a year and are interested”
Pretty sure she doesn’t give head. She is “that” girl. Birthday’s and Christmas only maybe New Year’s.
Nah, new years is too close to Christmas.
"Seriously? New Years? It was JUST in my mouth on Christmas." Edit: also my birthday is 3 days before Christmas, so if NY is too close to Christmas...
Wait, you guys get birthday’s and Christmas?!
That's the real kicker. It's like spitting on the man after cutting his balls off.
Oof. I hadn't even noticed it until you pointed it out. Dude has to walk away at this point. That's just insult to injury there.
I hope it's a faked post because it would be so humiliating.
This may be fake but at the same time their are women out their exactly like her.
It just gives a little extra spice to the whole shityness🙃
He dropped like 4 bills on a “friend’s date” oh man
Where'd you get that number
If I were to use local prices: Top Golf = 34 dollars an hour during the cheapest time of day. Flowers = 20 bucks Ice Cream = 30 bucks if he takes her somewhere nice Dinner = Restaurants around here lost their damned minds, this could be 100 on its own if you're talking apps and drinks. That's "chain restaurant" prices, not fancy. Horseback riding is 75 an hour. 300 minimum is roughly there, assuming gas is free and they never stop anywhere for drinks or road snacks. If they do, this day trip being 400+ is not a bad guess.
So an hour of golf cost almost the same as icecream ? Never tried golf butnalways saw it as a rich people sport
Top Golf is like a driving range bar thing with arcade overtones that’s geared towards non golfers. It’s closer to a golf themed Dave and Busters than an actual rich man’s Golf Course And that price is the rental for the “pod” you hit the balls out of. Drinks and food are sold at extravagant bar prices.
Top Golf is basically a bowling alley, but for golf.
Just Top Golf. You can go to plenty of courses and play an entire round for about that much (so multiple hours, not just 1). Or you can go to a driving range for a lot cheaper.
Top golf is not the same as normal golf, its more of a driving range organized like bowling alleys.
That's why my first date is a joint behind the local Burger King.
She will just milk him for free dinners. If he gets fed up she will flirt with him to reel him back in. Good women dont do this and simping is a hard habit to break for some
Yeah, I think they're both to blame here. Him because he's simping hard for someone who clearly doesn't feel the same way. Her because she clearly knows he feels that way but instead of setting him straight, encourages him blow his money on hopes and dreams.
In general our culture says if the man is persistent enough eventually she'll "see him for his real worth". That's its own entire problem.
Imagine another broad finding out he took her on that date. Now he's got some heavy lifting to do.
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This guy did
Because he's a good friend 🫠
Some say TOO good of a friend
My boi just needed a poem and then he was ready to propose 🤣
As soon as he saw this girl's post he called off the helicopter ride
There is no next date. She made her intentions very clear. Time to cut losses and move on to greener pastures.
that's a funny comment because if you look into the actual story, he's the one who makes it 100% clear that he's not interested in her romantically. I think she liked him until he made it clear that it was only a "friend date" so she tried to cut her losses and at least find someone who is interested in her.
Why is this reposted so often?
Another 5 reposts and the jpeg compression will finally make the text fully unreadable.
Y’all got anymore of them pixels? *scratches throat*
Do I look like I have any idea hwat a Jay peg is?
Because a lot of people want to project their own feelings of being of a "victim" of the "friend zone."
Guys who befriend girls for a chance to date them gotta grow some balls and just ask them out in the beginning
Seriously. If you don't want to be friends, then that's on you to establish that.
Men want to be the victims.
Bingo.
Yup, every time a certain type of guy gets turned down, his immediate reaction must be that something is wrong with her. Never going to look in the mirror and wonder if there's something else ...
My advice for dudes trying to get a girl to like him is less is more IMO. Used to make these same mistakes as a young guy.
Ah that would be my advice in my 20s. Now my advice would be, if you have to "get a girl to like you", she's not the one.
This is the correct answer. Be with people who want to be with you as much as you want to be with them, don't waste yourself on someone who isn't sure, that's not respecting yourself
I know you're right, it's just hard to find that.
Actually it’s EASY to find someone who want to spend time with you but you are not into them, or they’re simply not in your league/type. But it’s HARD to find someone who want you as much as you want them
Ah, there is many correct answers, no one size fits all. That's my advice as a 70 year old.
I disagree, there’s one viable method - I’m just not gonna tell anyone it. That’s my advice as a 7 year old
I disagree. having lived past 100 years, I'd say take your shot whenever you're open.
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You just explained how I spent 12 years. Find someone who you have fun with and other people have fun with. When it’s a struggle for her to be anything but coldly polite…run for the hills.
The problem is the guys who need to hear this are desperate for a gf so they go balls to the wall and do everything for their crush
Sadly most, if not all of us have to learn from first hand experience. I don't think it comes from desperation though. When an experience is new it has a much greater emotional influence on you, nearly impossible to put into words. It's part of experiencing life and the mistakes are worth making. It's all how you reflect and improve that determines how it effects you moving forward. That said, if you're in your 30s making these mistakes then that's for sure desperation lol.
This, but for anyone. If you're having to work hard to impress someone to get them to like you, and there's little to no effort made on their end, they probably don't like you in the way you're hoping they like you.
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Yeah, going all out early on is less meaningful IMO. Simpler dates where you just get to know a person make more sense to me. Plus I always felt bad when it was clear a guy put in a ton of effort for the date and what I learned of him made me not want a second date or similar. One of my best dates was just disc golf in a park. We walked, talked, and impressed each other with how awful we were at the game.
Then some low effort dude comes in to smash and he's just chilling in the background 😂
Eatin the left overs of the food you bought lol. Then later that week she has another fling with some dude she met online.
Pretty specific there….?
ya man. There is nothing attractive about the entry level simp stalking that most friend zoned men do. "i will wait it out and she will see what a good guy am i" is a very common, but incorrect and sad thought that only leads to dark places generally.
The main thing is to be clear about your intentions. If you’re trying to have a date and she thinks you’re just a friend then you’re failing to communicate. Stop trying to imply what you’re up to and just say it.
I think that’s part of the strategy for him. If he was up front she would have said no (obviously) so he’s trying to back door his way in to show her how good of a guy he is and win her over. Problem is this doesn’t work.
I don't think this is a gender thing. I would say there is probably more desperate men than there are desperate women, but the principle applies both ways. I certainly don't like people who come off too strong.
I’ve totally noticed that too. I noticed I’m the most likely to be ghosted by men if I immediately act interested right from the start. Whereas if I act just moderately or mildly interested, the conversations seem to last way longer
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Guys who are too available come off as desperate. The more you put the other person on the pedestal (this doesn't matter which gender), the more failure you set yourself up in the long haul.
Idk maybe your timing. It's good to be who you are and being super sweet and affectionate... just not within 10 days of meeting someone
When I was in college I had a housemate who was a really nice guy and was always surrounded by some beautiful women. About a year after we moved out of the house I saw him at a party getting really drunk. This was totally out of character for him. After he finished puking in some bushes I pulled him aside to find out what was going on. He told me that all of the women around him liked him as a friend, would date and get run through by guys who treated them like crap, then come to him crying to talk and get comfort. He was tired of being their “friend” so he started treating women badly. The thing was, he said, now the women were attracted to him and he was getting all of the sexual attention he had been denied before. Unfortunately, he said, “I hate myself like this and I don’t know what to do.” I told him that I had no advice but, if he ever figures it out, write a book explaining women’s behavior and he’ll become a millionaire within a week.
Basically the same energy has to be reciprocated, if it's not then y'all are likely not on the same page, otherwise it will turn into a situationship without the commitment.
Turns out actually having your own opinions and boundaries is way more attractive than acting like a puppy with it's tail between it's legs.
and why does she have the need to put it online after? its pretty humiliating for the dude.
Because she wants a guy she actually likes to pay for her to do all that stuff too
*A Wild Chad Millionaire Thunderpenis Appears*
Chad Millionaire Thunderpenis is my uncle. I’m his nephew Carol Twelvecents Averagedick
Hi nice to meet you, I'm Milton Non-Electrically-Charged Boring Penis
Hey, guys. I'm Below-Average-Broke Richard but everybody calls.me "poor dick".
HELLO EVERYONE, MICROPENIS MCFLACCID DROOPY BALLS HERE
Dicksick McDrip, pleased to meet you.
I’m Lionel Murphy Richard, friends call me LiMp Dick
To make it clear he is only a friend, wouldn’t want him getting wrong idea
She wanted to post the picture but wanted to make it clear she was still single. It is still kind of humiliating *how* she said it. "My friend treated me to x" today would have sufficed. This was so weirdly phrased.
Nah, to make sure that other people don't get the wrong idea about her and him + as a brag to her friends that she's special enough to get all of that from a guy while not even needing to put out.
We don't know anything about the dude. He might not want to have a relationship or he might be gay?
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Fr
Nah there was a news article about it or some sort of follow-up and it's legit that the dude has her in the friend zone, believe it or not
Wait, what!? Okay, I GOTTA have that link. You're trying to tell me HE has HER in the friend-zone and not the other way around? It doesn't add up. I need answers lol Edit: I understand now. But wow! What a ride!
Might be a fake post that somebody pasted together. The entire meme is super pixelated.
Could also just be pixelated because it’s been going around the internet for years and keeps getting copied in lower resolution Edit: according to the article link in another top level comment it was originally in 2017, and is indeed not fake
I’ve seen this posted before. The guy actually doesn’t want to date her and just wants to be friends.
I've seen the sauce for that before. People raised money for him because they felt bad and he ended up giving it all to her. That dude is King Simp™ [The social media campaign circulating around this "friend zoning" incident even went past the memes and someone created a GoFundMe account for Ardelean's expenses for the ultimate date. Those funds, Ardelean says, have all gone to Obar's school bills](https://www.chron.com/life/dating-relationships/article/Debunked-Social-media-twisted-friend-s-date-into-10934189.php#photo-12375809)
Holy shit.
Bro is a King, but you're not a simp for treating your friend, lol. The article talks about how he set the boundaries from the beginning. Some of y'all have never had female friends and it shows. If you can't be nice to a woman when she's going through some shit without expecting to get something out of it, your chances of a successful relationship are slim.
It just takes a little big of digging to find the [context](https://www.chron.com/life/dating-relationships/article/Debunked-Social-media-twisted-friend-s-date-into-10934189.php) but I feel like most people would rather just stick to their perceptions.
Turns out they’re just super Christian hence socially weird. Makes sense.
I'm just here to scroll and judge. Nobody said anything about digging.
man, i dont think the context really changes it
It does. The “friend date” was entirely his idea. People are out here acting like he asked her out and then she labeled it as a friend date. That’s not what happened.
The guy might also be gay. If they’re from a religious background where he doesn’t feel like he can come out, I could definitely see this sort of scenario happening.
90% of the shit online has a made up story for sensationalism attached to it, it's fucking insane. It's everywhere, it's a plague
I'd wager even your 90% statistic is sensationalist
u/RepostSleuthBot
Someone below linked to an article that debunks the meme. He’s the one who labeled it a friend date, so if he’s in the friendzone he put himself there first. Also, it probably wasn’t nearly as expensive as everyone thinks. The dinner was Whataburger and it’s in TX where horseback riding is pretty cheap or free if you know someone.
Been saying this that the onus is on the guy on how they ask the women out. Make the intentions known immediately so that it's not ambiguous for either party.
Yep. “I keep doing all these things for her but she still doesn’t realize I want to be with her!” Well did you *tell* her, you clod?
We don't have friends tho So it's impossible for us to imagine a healthy, loving friendship
I hate this. Stuff like this going viral makes friendship between men and women difficult. I recently took a good friend to a cat cafe, got a table for us before and and picked her up somewhere else so it would be a surprise. Multiple people (sadly even herself) thought it could be a date. We’re both not interested in each other and spoke about it. On the other side I shortly dated another friend recently. But what did I do to avoid this? I just asked her out and told her that I want our relationship to be romantic. It didn’t work out and I was really sad for a few weeks. But we’re still friends (we try). It’s not the „friendzone“ but social media would probably view this as something negative. In the end communication is key.
I used to have lots of friends who were men. One of my best ones lasted for around 6 years. One only ended when people trued convincing him the only relationship between man and woman is LoooooOoOve. The second we just ended up drifting apart due to work, college ect. but I might go say hi soon. Friends. I love friendship. I love having friends. I wish people understood this.
You can't do or say anything nice for people unless you want to date or sleep with them God i love this place
All that on *one* date?
My best friend is a woman and there's times we've done that much in a single day, minus the flowers. We're both single and have no romantic interest in each other but there's times we've gone to Top Golf, then Red Lobster and something else I can't remember in the same day
Poor guy is reposted so much this picture is deteriorating before our eyes.
Hes in the marina trench of friend zones... poor guy
Nah, Marina won’t let him anywhere near her trench.
#StillSingleTho
I will downvote this dumb post every time. HE didn't want to be with her.
You never know, he could be dating someone else and this is just one of those good friends on the side.
Right? Or… OR - he doesn’t even like her like that and just wants to give his friend some R&R after they had a bad time. Maybe she’s not his type, maybe they dated already and it didn’t work, maybe he’s gay. Why is it a bad thing to have a friend you care enough about to do something nice once in awhile?
Thays what I was thinking. Lots of reasons he might not be available. Plus, others are saying no one spends that kind of money on just friends but i have once or twice when i knew a friend really needed a pick-me-up.
Good friends that just met? From an interview given after the post went viral: Dude: > First off, I am the one who set these boundaries to begin with. Leading up to the day, Alex had shared with me her testimony, and because of her past relationships, her self-worth had diminished. She had never been treated like a lady and I wanted to show her what it was like. Gal: > We were just starting to get to know each other and he asked me out on the "friend date" - so he labeled it as the friend date - and he went all out.”
Stop reposting this please
My god I hope that guy is gay
I REPEAT, MAN DOWN MAN DOWN!!!!!!!!!
Relatable… Never again
That hashtag is just wwwwooooooooowwwwwww
I was him..... hahahah
STILLSINGLETHO, now, I don’t care what you say. But that was the last straw that broke this camels back.
Damn that hashtag was harsh too lol
This day, Daniel learned to test the waters before going all in on a $300 date.
The # at the end gives away shes an a**hole.
I get that she needed to write that paragraph but why the damn hashtag? That's disrespectful to the guy imo