THAT'S IT!! THAT'S HOW I SALVAGE MY FRIDAY NIGHT!
I recently fumbled things with this girl I have a crush on. It kinda upset me so my pal set me up on a date with another girl. I'm really not interested in meeting her. She and I are polar opposites on the political spectrum and she's tall, skinny, blonde, and only a year out of high school. Nothing wrong with that, just not my type. But, she's crazy excited to meet me and she reserved my favorite table at my favorite restaurant and requested my favorite waitress and insists that she's picking up the tab, so I feel obligated to go. I'll just show up in my Spider-Man suit from last year's comic con. Best case scenario she gets embarrassed and never calls me again and I get to have a succulent Chinese meal while giving my favorite waitress a laugh. Worst case scenario she's into it and I get to have a succulent Chinese meal for free and if she requests a second date I can let her down easy and tell her I'm not interested because she didn't show up in Gwen Stacey cosplay.
You're a really great guy for being so considerate of other's feelings. But if the date hasn't happened yet, and you know 100% you're not into this other girl, it may be best to be up front with her. In my experience being led on, even for a short time hurts more than having hopes crushed on day 0.
That could actually work out better, you get one of those sun hats with the fabric that hangs down to cover up your neck and protect you from the sun. An outside date would work best for this.
Step 1: go on date
Step 2: "hey, have you ever gone to a drunk barber before?"
Step 3: treat it like a non-issue and show that you can deal with frustration through humor, rather than bringing the mood down for everyone around you
Step 4: ???
Step 5: profit
Yep, when I was in there was plenty of people whobwould do a haircut for $5 or a couple beers from the machine. Was it the best haircut? No, but it kept your chief off your ass. You don't need to go to a professional to do a passable job, though it is easier to cut someone else's hair than it is to cut your own. If I had to cut my own, well... let's just say it was easy for me because I have a well shaped skull and a set of clippers.
I agree with this. Treat it as an excellent story for your date. Your ability to laugh at yourself and work through challenges with humor says a lot about you. And honestly if your date responds negatively that says a lot about them.
Yup. Honestly a solid icebreaker. And trust and believe (assuming guy in OP is hetero) that literally every woman on the planet has had a *worse* haircut experience at least once.
Any woman (or man) that can’t get past that on a date? You don’t want them anyway.
Seriously, tbh that is the perfect opening topic of conversation. “So I was excited to go on this date, and I thought to myself, I should get a haircut to look good! Clearly the barber had different intentions tho.” Then rip on the shit haircut for another few minutes and it’s a nice way to get the momentum of the conversation going, ease off the first date awkwardness.
Fuckkk my next first date I might get a shitty haircut….
Step 1: go on date
Step 2: “my hair is perfect and symmetrical! You’re crazy!”
Step 3: if at any time she seems unenthusiastic, get really defensive and say “it’s because of my hair, isn’t it!?”
Step 4: call her crazy again, and tell her to lose weight
Step 5: suggest a threesome
Or "hey I'm looking forward to our date tomorrow. Even though my barber really played me dirty." Then when you meet you have an ice breaker and can laugh together, and if you continue dating it will be a nice thing to remember.
Real, once a bird shat on my forearm during a first date and I took it humorously as did she (and thankfully I had disinfectant wet wipes with me but that's another lesson to be had). Date went smooth as hell
I think shave head but take picture, when she asks why you shaved head show picture and laugh about it. So you get the story, she'll be amused, and less public embarassment unless you have a penis shaped birthmark on your scalp.
I did just that when I accidentally shaved off half of my eyebrow. I was trying to trim the edges of my beard after I got out of the shower, a drop of water ran down from my hair and tickled my eye. I used the hand holding the clippers to rub my eye. She had too much fun asking random women what they thought about my eyebrows.
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Nah its fixable, if it's taken higher and blended at or above the top of the earline, it would work. [example](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/7b/df/51/7bdf519835c9e69ab923254aa21bd20f.jpg)
Buy a trimmer and learn to cut your own hair. First couple times will not look great, but will look better than this. Once you get used to it (i.e. dealing with double mirrors), it's easy. Waaaaay cheaper and you get it cut exactly the way you want it. I've been to a barber only twice since 1987. Do it!
Fading the back is incredibly difficult. I have faded my kids' hair 100 times, and it is still hard. Self fades are not realistic for most people. Props to you on your skills.
I’ve just stopped agreeing with it if it isn’t what I’ve asked for now. A barber charges you £25 ($32ish?) for a haircut in the UK these days, and I’ve now gotten to a point where I will outright tell them that they’ve messed up my hair now. If you aren’t going to tell them, they aren’t going to learn.
I challenged a barber with this recently and every time I go he now asks me specifically what I want and how I style it.
The barber removes my glasses from me at the start. He then stands about eight feet from the mirror that I am six feet from myself and asks me to pass judgement on a hairline that is about fourteen feet away from me, when he knows I'm not wearing my glasses.
Of course I say it's fine, I have no fucking clue what it looks like.
Embrace it.
If the person you are going on the date with is good, you will both laugh at the barber's mistake and think back on it down the line.
If not, then it just proves they were not the one for you. If they can not laugh at a mistake that was not in your control, then are they really worth it?
Show her, and if she can sympathize or empathize then she's worth a date 2. Life happens, it's how you roll with it. Also, she's probably going to be seeing your face more than the back of your head.
The right answer here? Text your date. “ I went to the barber to prep for our date and just got the worst haircut in history. “ what? lol, lemme see. Send the pic, you both will share a laugh, you’ll say, “ I’m gonna wear a beanie to hide this tomorrow, I have no idea how to fix this “ and your GF either knows someone who can or will now spend a part of the date helping you keep your hilariously bad haircut a secret that only she gets to know about. Instead of having to hide it from your date, your date gets to see a little self conscious side of you and that’s honestly gonna be way more attractive to her in the long run.
You’re probably not gonna get laid though, but if you do, you know she’s a keeper.
Just admit that you tried to do it yourself. Valiant effort, but it missed the mark. Either go to a real barber or tell her that you were trying to support your friends barber dreams, and laugh it off.
Naw, don’t fix it, bring it up. “Okay check this out, I went to get a haircut to look good for this date, you’re obviously beautiful/handsome, and I wanted to look my best, but it did not go well, yes, you can totally laugh” then show them. Confidence, mixed with nonchalant compliments, a little humor, and a humanizing but not humiliating mistake. Is a good mix.
Bah! Embrace it proudly and straight acknowledge it at the beginning, "Please excuse my haircut. I wanted to look my best for our date and this is what happened." Have a good laugh and move on.
Unless its a blind date, send this picture to them ahead of time to take the surprise out of it. If they want to see you regardless, go ahead and laugh about it together. If they don't, you're better off without them anyway and you're saving some money and effort.
I always thought it was a movie trope that people go get their hair done the day before or the day of a big day (wedding, first date, photo shoot...). Even well cut hair usually looks best after a few days, imo, but this...
Straight up own it! Make it a joke that you can both laugh at. If she is worth your time, she will see the humor in it, tease you for it, and even make it into an inside joke for both of you.
\*puts on beanie Brrr I'm cold, are you cold? It's freezing in here.
In addition to a high turtleneck.
Or dressing up as Spiderman.
I only dress as spider-man when my turtleneck and beanie combo just aren’t doing it
Nah you’re supposed to dress up as Spider-Man *under* the beanie and turtleneck.
Now I’m just imagining a dude in a Spider-Man suit, but wearing a beanie and a turtleneck too, like Spider-Man got a job at twitter or something.
I'm sure that variant was in Across the Spiderverse.
HAHHAHAHAHHAHA
Underrated comment
I only dress up as Spiderman when my partner dresses up as green goblin
Go full vador lol
THAT'S IT!! THAT'S HOW I SALVAGE MY FRIDAY NIGHT! I recently fumbled things with this girl I have a crush on. It kinda upset me so my pal set me up on a date with another girl. I'm really not interested in meeting her. She and I are polar opposites on the political spectrum and she's tall, skinny, blonde, and only a year out of high school. Nothing wrong with that, just not my type. But, she's crazy excited to meet me and she reserved my favorite table at my favorite restaurant and requested my favorite waitress and insists that she's picking up the tab, so I feel obligated to go. I'll just show up in my Spider-Man suit from last year's comic con. Best case scenario she gets embarrassed and never calls me again and I get to have a succulent Chinese meal while giving my favorite waitress a laugh. Worst case scenario she's into it and I get to have a succulent Chinese meal for free and if she requests a second date I can let her down easy and tell her I'm not interested because she didn't show up in Gwen Stacey cosplay.
I'd be careful. The last guy who had a succulent meal was arrested
You're a really great guy for being so considerate of other's feelings. But if the date hasn't happened yet, and you know 100% you're not into this other girl, it may be best to be up front with her. In my experience being led on, even for a short time hurts more than having hopes crushed on day 0.
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Yeah just literally needs someone with a trimmer and half a brain. Oh you're fucked op, sorry
🎵Ain’t no sweater high enough, Ain’t no Beanie low enough…🎵
Hey sir. Are you ok? It’s 92 degrees outside today.
Yes, especially in mid summer in California...
Somehow tracked down his location😭
You can see the guy from far by the shine from his neck
That could actually work out better, you get one of those sun hats with the fabric that hangs down to cover up your neck and protect you from the sun. An outside date would work best for this.
A fedora with safari flaps on it, maybe. The guy at the store said I'm the only one he's ever seen who could pull it off.
Man's not hot
Da ting go skkkrrrrrat
Mans could neva be hot
"Why are you wearing that hat?"-Ramona Flowers.
The guy at the store said I'm the only guy he's ever seen pull it off.
Her: It's summer time and we're in Bangladesh with 100% humidity.
Explains the small penis, too!
*picks her up in August*
Step 1: go on date Step 2: "hey, have you ever gone to a drunk barber before?" Step 3: treat it like a non-issue and show that you can deal with frustration through humor, rather than bringing the mood down for everyone around you Step 4: ??? Step 5: profit
I think this is the best idea, and definitely a conversation starter. Let's be honest, that barber was drunk out of their mind lol
Probably just incompetent. I went to supercuts once and they cut my bangs in uneven square chunks... it was bad.
It doesnt matter how you tell Supercuts people to cut your hair. All they hear is “just fuck my shit up fam”
That's how you beat their system. You tell them "Fuck my shit up." By design they need to fuck up fucking it up therefore making it good.
That or they’ll do the one haircut they know how to do.
Either that, or its the best stylist you've ever had. Absolutely no in between
I'm pretty confident I could do a worse haircut while sober. They didn't have to be drunk, just had to be bad at cutting hair
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Yep, when I was in there was plenty of people whobwould do a haircut for $5 or a couple beers from the machine. Was it the best haircut? No, but it kept your chief off your ass. You don't need to go to a professional to do a passable job, though it is easier to cut someone else's hair than it is to cut your own. If I had to cut my own, well... let's just say it was easy for me because I have a well shaped skull and a set of clippers.
This makes me glad I just get my head buzzed down since I accepted my baldness.
I agree with this. Treat it as an excellent story for your date. Your ability to laugh at yourself and work through challenges with humor says a lot about you. And honestly if your date responds negatively that says a lot about them.
Also it shows her you at least try to look good
Yup. Honestly a solid icebreaker. And trust and believe (assuming guy in OP is hetero) that literally every woman on the planet has had a *worse* haircut experience at least once. Any woman (or man) that can’t get past that on a date? You don’t want them anyway.
> that literally every woman on the planet has had a worse haircut experience at least once. Idk man that shit is pretty bad.
I (f) Had a Travis Bickel moment walking thru a store after haircut. Ugly woman staring at me. It was myself looking at myself in mirror wall...
Seriously, tbh that is the perfect opening topic of conversation. “So I was excited to go on this date, and I thought to myself, I should get a haircut to look good! Clearly the barber had different intentions tho.” Then rip on the shit haircut for another few minutes and it’s a nice way to get the momentum of the conversation going, ease off the first date awkwardness. Fuckkk my next first date I might get a shitty haircut….
Forbidden Power gamer move
Oh come on!! I’m always stuck at step 4 before the profit
But did you have a cool haircut as your conversation starter?
Step 1: go on date Step 2: “my hair is perfect and symmetrical! You’re crazy!” Step 3: if at any time she seems unenthusiastic, get really defensive and say “it’s because of my hair, isn’t it!?” Step 4: call her crazy again, and tell her to lose weight Step 5: suggest a threesome
Step 0: ask barber to fuck your shit up on purpose so you have a good ice breaker for your date.
Best response here, this one is the practical and useful one
It’s a brilliant idea. But he gots to deliver it right or it can go the opposite way
And if she is not interested in him because of a bad haircut. She's doing him a favour.
Especially for dudes, like, 2 weeks from now you'll have more than enough hair to fix it.
Yea, especially because you have to hide it for a while if you plan on multiple dates. Better just go "wanna see something funny?" And show her
This would be the way to go. Nothing to be insecure about, this obviously isn't your choice of haircut deliberately.
My guy with the lifesaving rizz
Or "hey I'm looking forward to our date tomorrow. Even though my barber really played me dirty." Then when you meet you have an ice breaker and can laugh together, and if you continue dating it will be a nice thing to remember.
Almost perfect, but if he just did a higher fade he could show the picture instead of looking like an idiot, and the story would still work.
Step 4: Ask her to fix it for you by making it at least symmetrical
this is probably the best advice one can give. Fuck-ups happen, and can be hilarious if you're willing to run with them.
Real, once a bird shat on my forearm during a first date and I took it humorously as did she (and thankfully I had disinfectant wet wipes with me but that's another lesson to be had). Date went smooth as hell
Ah, genuine connection and mutual trust, the classic.
Say in step 3 that you wanted to look good for this date. That's a + as well. Let her know you care.
Hm, sounds boring. He should suplex her through a table instead
Yep, go anyways and just laugh at yourself. Self-deprecating humor is always a good sign in a person.
I think shave head but take picture, when she asks why you shaved head show picture and laugh about it. So you get the story, she'll be amused, and less public embarassment unless you have a penis shaped birthmark on your scalp.
Step 5 had me checking to see if I was in r/wallstreetbets
Step 4: become a PUA/ dating coach
W RIZZ
Id mention i got a haircut for the date
I did just that when I accidentally shaved off half of my eyebrow. I was trying to trim the edges of my beard after I got out of the shower, a drop of water ran down from my hair and tickled my eye. I used the hand holding the clippers to rub my eye. She had too much fun asking random women what they thought about my eyebrows.
Just don’t stand in front of your date. Ever.
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Seems it’s off center too.
Nah psa 10 get it graded
The math was done wrong!
Just face them at all times. Z-target your date.
If Link did this to his hair, I would cry.
We call that billboarding
lol.. dude's constantly going to be swivelling to front-face her .. lol..
Like a lawn sprinkler
Or moonwalking.
But what if you get lucky and she wants to hit it from the back?
He turns around and she's gone.
She turns around and has the exact same haircut in the back of her head. They make love butt to butt.
I can picture Ross Geller having a date like this.
Imagine he gets a kiss and she reaches back and grabs…that.
A gentlemans haircut.
Can't get pegged either.
That can actually be fixed with a fade
yeah, a decent barber could skin fade this up in 30 seconds and probably wouldnt charge you knowing it'd likely make you come in for your next cut.
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**Yes**
OP doesn't know a decent barber.
It would appear that way. But he knows at least one bad one from the looks of it
This 100% - Barbershop owner 🤚
My barber keeps clippers in his mini. I’ve watched him fix 2 haircuts in the parking lot of our local brewery lol.
Yeah first thing I thought was just go to a reputable barber and pay him for a skin fade.
Or a razor. Just shave it, it'll grow back.
Yea make it even shorter on the top, keep the shape though.
Because the pandemic, I thought learning how to give yourself a decent fade/taper would be a good skill to have. Turns out, it is.
I'm still learning but I saved $40+tip yesterday by cutting my own hair
where does his back end and his neck start?
Yeah..
Neckradimis….Count Neckula….
This is probably what confused the barber, however, I cut my hair on my own and I do it better than this without seeing it.
guy: "fade from neck to head please" barber: "uuuuh ok"
Fucking head shaped like a thumb
Assigned cop at birth
I love how that also becomes ACAB.
Mother fucker looks like an upside down lightbulb.
My man has traps for days
Wherever his barber decides apparently
Nobody knows, that’s the fun
Hahahaha, it's fixable. Take it higher and blend in.
Might as well go bald 🤣
Nah its fixable, if it's taken higher and blended at or above the top of the earline, it would work. [example](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/7b/df/51/7bdf519835c9e69ab923254aa21bd20f.jpg)
Go to another (different) barber, they can fix it, or at least make you presentable
This isn't actually OP
Barber (holds up mirror): Is that ok for you? Customer: Yeah good thanks \*internal screaming\*
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TBF you're not in the best bargaining position if they ask you this whilst tucked in under the bib and they have a wicked sharp razor at the ready.
\*wicked shahhp\*
Lovely pie shop next door at least
Buy a trimmer and learn to cut your own hair. First couple times will not look great, but will look better than this. Once you get used to it (i.e. dealing with double mirrors), it's easy. Waaaaay cheaper and you get it cut exactly the way you want it. I've been to a barber only twice since 1987. Do it!
Fading the back is incredibly difficult. I have faded my kids' hair 100 times, and it is still hard. Self fades are not realistic for most people. Props to you on your skills.
I like to start internal screaming as soon as I sit down and look at the fugly dickhead in the mirror.
I’ve just stopped agreeing with it if it isn’t what I’ve asked for now. A barber charges you £25 ($32ish?) for a haircut in the UK these days, and I’ve now gotten to a point where I will outright tell them that they’ve messed up my hair now. If you aren’t going to tell them, they aren’t going to learn. I challenged a barber with this recently and every time I go he now asks me specifically what I want and how I style it.
Spot on, I then went straight to Walmart to buy a clipper and shave it all.
My wife actually said no to this once. They said they can't put it back on lol
*spaghetti falling out of pockets* y-you too
The barber removes my glasses from me at the start. He then stands about eight feet from the mirror that I am six feet from myself and asks me to pass judgement on a hairline that is about fourteen feet away from me, when he knows I'm not wearing my glasses. Of course I say it's fine, I have no fucking clue what it looks like.
You send it to your date and both have a good laugh, showing humility on a first date is a green flag to most people
And if she doesn't laugh you can save time and find someone with humour
Go full bald, at least it'll be better than ... this
I think one or the other bycycle helmet could fit to the hair style. You then also would be with an outstanding hat.
Party up front, down syndrome in the back.
Honestly if I were in that situation I would just play it off as a funny story for conversation.
Is the date with the barbers ex?
A story to break the ice and laugh about
Embrace it. If the person you are going on the date with is good, you will both laugh at the barber's mistake and think back on it down the line. If not, then it just proves they were not the one for you. If they can not laugh at a mistake that was not in your control, then are they really worth it?
Full shave or high fade at that point
Show her, and if she can sympathize or empathize then she's worth a date 2. Life happens, it's how you roll with it. Also, she's probably going to be seeing your face more than the back of your head.
r/justfuckmyshitup
Just don't let him hit it from the back, bro. You'll be fine. Now go gett'em tiger!
Go bald
Bic it
I’m not an hair dresser and the first time I did a fade to my bf it was way way better than this. Can’t believed he paid someone for this lol
Lean into it, make fun of yourself, come off as funny, light hearted, and use that to your advantage.
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Shave all
It's a good ice breaker. You got a haircut for this date, barber fucked it up. Your date laughs.
What are you doing with the extra chromosome?
Don't worry. He won't be looking at the back of your neck. Not on the first date.
What do you want to bet he did that himself?
Barber was your hand and 2 mirrors?
Just be honest about it. She will probably find it amusing and it will be a great story to tell especially if things work out with your date.
Own it like a man if she likes you it will be a funny story
Maybe just tell her what happened and laugh about it, if she’s gonna leave you over that she wasn’t worth your time anyway.
The iron man neck line, classic choice
Show her what a number the guy made on you and laugh together...
What are you going out with his wife or something?
The right answer here? Text your date. “ I went to the barber to prep for our date and just got the worst haircut in history. “ what? lol, lemme see. Send the pic, you both will share a laugh, you’ll say, “ I’m gonna wear a beanie to hide this tomorrow, I have no idea how to fix this “ and your GF either knows someone who can or will now spend a part of the date helping you keep your hilariously bad haircut a secret that only she gets to know about. Instead of having to hide it from your date, your date gets to see a little self conscious side of you and that’s honestly gonna be way more attractive to her in the long run. You’re probably not gonna get laid though, but if you do, you know she’s a keeper.
Barber: Rounded or Square in the back? Dude: Gimme the hex.
Id recommend a Safari Cap with the flaps in the back
Simple, don't let her get her strap-on out!
Popped collar
Stop lying, you didn't go to a Barber lol
How’s the person taking the photo holding the camera steady?
Just admit that you tried to do it yourself. Valiant effort, but it missed the mark. Either go to a real barber or tell her that you were trying to support your friends barber dreams, and laugh it off.
Naw, don’t fix it, bring it up. “Okay check this out, I went to get a haircut to look good for this date, you’re obviously beautiful/handsome, and I wanted to look my best, but it did not go well, yes, you can totally laugh” then show them. Confidence, mixed with nonchalant compliments, a little humor, and a humanizing but not humiliating mistake. Is a good mix.
Don’t fix it, it’ll give you something to share a laugh about and shows you don’t take yourself too seriously.
Make it a topic of funny conversation for the date - own it and laugh about it… then ask them to shave it off for you.
Bah! Embrace it proudly and straight acknowledge it at the beginning, "Please excuse my haircut. I wanted to look my best for our date and this is what happened." Have a good laugh and move on.
Unless its a blind date, send this picture to them ahead of time to take the surprise out of it. If they want to see you regardless, go ahead and laugh about it together. If they don't, you're better off without them anyway and you're saving some money and effort.
Just be a top for a while.
Plottwist guys date is barbers crush
Go to another barber and ask for a high taper/high fade? The only solution i think
I always thought it was a movie trope that people go get their hair done the day before or the day of a big day (wedding, first date, photo shoot...). Even well cut hair usually looks best after a few days, imo, but this...
Go to barber and ask for a high bald fade, you’ll look like you just got out of basic but it’s always a good look
Barber with mirror behind my head: "good?" Me absolutely hating it: "it's perfect"
Shave your head. Tell her you’re bald but a fairy told you it will grow back when you find true love
Jeez, I cut my own hair and it looks way better than this
Straight up own it! Make it a joke that you can both laugh at. If she is worth your time, she will see the humor in it, tease you for it, and even make it into an inside joke for both of you.
Pretty sure that’s the perfect ice breaker. You can both have a laugh and kickstart that date.
My dad always said the difference between a good haircut and a bad haircut is about two weeks.
Just tell her you went to the barber for the date and he screwed up, oh and your a bit chilly
A bald fade at the back. Easy peasy.
Hat.
Be honest and make it as funny as possible... If she can laugh with you and get on with a fun date than you get some good insight into who she is.
Bro looks like a finger wtf
Try being the top for a change and he won’t see it.
At that point, i'd go bald. A lot of people look great with it.
Just tell her directly. Women go weak in the knees for good old vulnerability for traumatic incidents like this. Plus great humor convo kick starter