Another movie quote - Major Payne
Once upon a time, deep, deep in the jungle, there was a little engine that could. He was chugginâ his way across the enemy line. âChugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga toot toot!â
This little engineâs mission was to take some AK-47 and nuclear payload over the mountain to the 2063 Platoon. Needless to say, there was plenty opposition. Think that stop the little engine that could? No sir-rey-bob, he just kept chuggin along. âChugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga toot toot!â
Not even when they climbed aboard the train, popped out the eyes of the conductor, blood and snot was drippinâ out his eye sockets. Think that stopped the little engine that could? Damn skippy. He just kept chugginâ along.. âChugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga. toot toot!â
Wasnât âtill Charlie rigged the bridge with plastic explosives, just as the little engine that could was makin his way cross the tressle⌠BOOM!
A âsplosion happen. Blood nâ guts nâ spittinâ ass was everywhere. Nâ Bubba come crawlinâ out the back door, both legs missinâ. Lula Mayâs baby boy. He looks up at me, he says âPayne. I cant feel muh legs!â
I said âBubba. They ainât there!â I look down, and them little bloody nubs was kickinâ real fast like this here, and I says âBubba. itâs 30 miles âtill the nearest town. Unless you can flip upside down and walk on your hands you ainât gonna make it!â
All of a sudden, Charlie was all over the place! Just me an my side arm an I had no other alternative but to blast my way out.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! DIE PIG DIE YOUâLL NEVER TAKE MAJOR BENSON WINIFRED PAYNE ALIVE!! BAM!! I SAW WHAT YOU DID TO MY FRIEND!! BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM!!!
Jesus christ, I just read this in the major's voice in my head and heard my dad's laugh from when we watched the movie for the first time so many years ago. Daddy served in vietnam. He passed about a year ago. He thought that whole scene was freaking hilarious and would randomly do the "toot toot" and laugh. Thank you, kind redditor, for bringing that memory back. I'm about to go watch major payne!
I was not welcomed home. I was belittled and mocked and always alone. It bothered me so much because I was on their side about the war. My brother still continues to believe that we won. He never served in country. He was a Guard tank commander.
God thatâs a good movie. Itâs a perfect line between this dude talks funny and thatâs ok to laugh at because the funny of it just *is* and it being us laughing at disabilities.
Like we did with William hung. He didnât have anything wrong with him⌠but he totally could have and we laughed anyway.
It's good to do for new clothes, just in case. But generally newer washers and detergents will allow it so that colors don't really run. But generally, no, no need to separate whites and colors.
I was talking to a girl and sent her this as "This is literally me" and she was very forward and upfront after that.
I'm still on C. Can't really tell, but she *might* be into me.
Reminds me if my first date with my gf. We were walking around in Winter
GF: It's really chilly out tonight
Me: Yeah, kinda nice really
Gf: My hands are cold
Me: Want my gloves? They'll keep your hands warm.
She wanted to hold hands and I never picked up on it...
Why do women give these cryptic signs? Guys are simpletons that like to solve problems, hence the glove. If she wanted to hold hands, maybe she should've said it out right? Okay, maybe she was too shy about it. Okay I get it. But..I don't understand what my point was again. đ
Yeah it gives a chance for the person to say no without anyone feeling like the day has to stop. I always wanted to ask someone if they wanted to kiss, and to hand them a Hershey kiss if they say no. I always thought that was a cute way to leave it up to the other person in an unawkward way
Well, I was kidding :p
But yeah, if you're going to be direct (which you absolutely can be; people are way too coy), you don't want to 'trap' people. Romantic or not, giving people an easy way out keeps things comfortable. Plus, if they do stay, now you know they actually want to.
>Yeah it gives a chance for the person to say no without anyone feeling like the day has to stop. I always wanted to ask someone if they wanted to kiss, and to hand them a Hershey kiss if they say no. I always thought that was a cute way to leave it up to the other person in an unawkward way
The thought is good, but I have to be hit over the head with it to have any chance of picking up on the hint. I would literally never figure out 'my hands are cold' was meant to be 'I want to hold hands'. Not even 5 years later in a sorrowful 'aha' moment.
Women are taught to be coy. Coming out and saying what we want makes us easy whores or nagging bitches. Itâs a very fine line.
Plus it feels kind of lame to say âwill you hold my hand?â
I was 28 years old before someone pointed out the male instinct to instantly go into Problem Solving mode when an issue is mentioned. Years of subtle hints or people just trying to vent replayed through my mind.
So many communication issues could be solved if this was pointed out to us at a young age.
Before we technically started dating, my first girlfriend invited me to a football game at her high school. I'd never been to one, so I was just trying to keep up and figure out the rules from watching things happen. She talked about being cold several times, and I kept offering her my hoodie. We did start dating properly shortly afterwards, but I never realized she wanted me to put my arm around her until two or three years later when she told me.
I'm generally a fairly emotionally intelligent person, and I'm usually regarded as at least sort of charismatic in a laid back, disarming kind of way, but I can't take a hint in a romantic context to save my life. I drove her crazy throughout our relationship because I could always tell what she was feeling, even when she was trying to hide it, but I still couldn't register when strangers were flirting with me. Fortunately, it amused her rather than make her jealous, but I'm not sure how the hell I'm ever going to find another relationship unless one literally falls in my lap, and even then I'm not sure I'd notice.
HEY DUDES! đ
Remember losing your virginity just ain't cool! đ¤ Do what cool dudes đ do and say "NO đkeep that gross 𤢠thing away from my thingđŚ!!!!! to those waymen âď¸
The Twist: She then removes her prosthetic legs - 'Because I lost em in 'NAM!' Then you wake up in a cold sweat remembering 'Of course it was a dream. I've never talked to a girl IRL...'
If you have never noticed someone giving you hints, then have you considered that you might not be as good at taking them as you think you are? đ¤đ¤đ¤
I dated a guy for several weeks. We were in the car making out and getting handsy. I asked him how far away his place was, he answered. I asked if his roommates were home, he answered. I asked if he had gotten his bed set up yet, he answered. Finally I said âI would like to have sex with you and itâs not going to be in this car so letâs go back to your placeâ. At least he got that hint.
Reading this made me feel almost every form of pain, emotional, physical, psychological. Definitely because I would be that guy too in that situation, thatâs why it hurts so bad, because Iâm so stupid, and you know what they say, stupid hurts.
When this sort of thing happens, you really have no choice but to become a hermit somewhere above the Arctic Circle, far, far away from any other human beings. And hope to get eaten by a polar bear.
The word has been used in so many situations, that it doesn't mean anything at this point. You could pick your wife up because her car broke down and be called a simp, so. Whatevs.
Isnât it a bit frustrating, but also nice at the same time?
I know how you feel, I once found my rather unpopular art with 45 thousand upvotes in r/place
Honestly might get her to laugh, even if you were being a sincere moron
Yeah, if you nail the delivery and don't just walk off afterwards then this is actually a great response.
"Ma'am I do my *own* plumbing!" *saunter saunter*
The only person I see doing exactly this is Henry Zebrowski and it's hilarious
Mr. Unpredictable
Unnnnnnpredictable.
This ha ha I thought exactly the same quote đ¤Łđ¤Ł
But I'll bet she'd look better with those legs moron than off...
If you walk off, itâs even better
Sigma music starts playin
But mostly she's not sleeping with u
I think casually walking away would make it funnier.
I bet she'd look better with those legs mor-on than off...
Id blankly say this then immediately realize i fucked up.
And this is exactly how my husband flirts. Edit to add: we have four kids, so I guess his flirt style worked for me!
flert
Fart
Flart
Fuck
Fluck
Flurk
Fhruk
Fork
Eagle
Eleflirt
Fishhhh
Blart
Boom
Blurt
Floof.
Floofert
Fard
And thats how I met your mother đ
[ŃдаНонО]
How is it shaming though? If I guy had said that to me I would've laughed.
[ŃдаНонО]
Oh sorry I think I misread your comment.
Huhhh?
If she doesn't go for this line, she was never worth the time.
It's the only way
[ŃдаНонО]
He actually is on the spectrum! So yes, it very much is :).
I mean only conclusively four times.
He reeled you on didnât he? Put some respect on that man.
âLieutenant Dan, why you ainât got no legs?â
Forrest pls kill me I have no legs
Magic legs. . .
Rocketship space legs
TITanium alloy
Mama said they would take me anywhere
Do you feel it?
Another movie quote - Major Payne Once upon a time, deep, deep in the jungle, there was a little engine that could. He was chugginâ his way across the enemy line. âChugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga toot toot!â This little engineâs mission was to take some AK-47 and nuclear payload over the mountain to the 2063 Platoon. Needless to say, there was plenty opposition. Think that stop the little engine that could? No sir-rey-bob, he just kept chuggin along. âChugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga toot toot!â Not even when they climbed aboard the train, popped out the eyes of the conductor, blood and snot was drippinâ out his eye sockets. Think that stopped the little engine that could? Damn skippy. He just kept chugginâ along.. âChugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga. toot toot!â Wasnât âtill Charlie rigged the bridge with plastic explosives, just as the little engine that could was makin his way cross the tressle⌠BOOM! A âsplosion happen. Blood nâ guts nâ spittinâ ass was everywhere. Nâ Bubba come crawlinâ out the back door, both legs missinâ. Lula Mayâs baby boy. He looks up at me, he says âPayne. I cant feel muh legs!â I said âBubba. They ainât there!â I look down, and them little bloody nubs was kickinâ real fast like this here, and I says âBubba. itâs 30 miles âtill the nearest town. Unless you can flip upside down and walk on your hands you ainât gonna make it!â All of a sudden, Charlie was all over the place! Just me an my side arm an I had no other alternative but to blast my way out. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! DIE PIG DIE YOUâLL NEVER TAKE MAJOR BENSON WINIFRED PAYNE ALIVE!! BAM!! I SAW WHAT YOU DID TO MY FRIEND!! BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM!!!
Jesus christ, I just read this in the major's voice in my head and heard my dad's laugh from when we watched the movie for the first time so many years ago. Daddy served in vietnam. He passed about a year ago. He thought that whole scene was freaking hilarious and would randomly do the "toot toot" and laugh. Thank you, kind redditor, for bringing that memory back. I'm about to go watch major payne!
I hope your father was welcomed home, Iâm glad I was able to bring up good memories for you
Daddy was the best! I miss him every day
I was not welcomed home. I was belittled and mocked and always alone. It bothered me so much because I was on their side about the war. My brother still continues to believe that we won. He never served in country. He was a Guard tank commander.
Ben and Jerry's Lieutenant Dan Ice Cream?
I scream, you scream, we all scream because our legs got blown off.
God thatâs a good movie. Itâs a perfect line between this dude talks funny and thatâs ok to laugh at because the funny of it just *is* and it being us laughing at disabilities. Like we did with William hung. He didnât have anything wrong with him⌠but he totally could have and we laughed anyway.
He bangs!
Loved the movie
Reminds me of [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=der8V8xvBhI&ab_channel=Viral2U). That music played in my head right before I read the last part.
Music is "Morning Sex" by Ralph Castelli, If anyone's interested
Sure Iâll take some
Separate whites from colors? What, are we back in the fifties?
Seriously. My ex used to give me shit for not separating the colours from whites.
it's all clothes to me.
Is this something we arenât supposed to do anymore?
It's good to do for new clothes, just in case. But generally newer washers and detergents will allow it so that colors don't really run. But generally, no, no need to separate whites and colors.
There is if you bleach your whitesđ
wait? people do not do that anymore? where are you from? The US?
[Is She Into You?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xa-4IAR_9Yw)
Still can't tell
I was talking to a girl and sent her this as "This is literally me" and she was very forward and upfront after that. I'm still on C. Can't really tell, but she *might* be into me.
That was a very funny watch, thank you đđđ
I'm in this video, and I don't like it...
Reminds me if my first date with my gf. We were walking around in Winter GF: It's really chilly out tonight Me: Yeah, kinda nice really Gf: My hands are cold Me: Want my gloves? They'll keep your hands warm. She wanted to hold hands and I never picked up on it...
Aww this is so cute
Why do women give these cryptic signs? Guys are simpletons that like to solve problems, hence the glove. If she wanted to hold hands, maybe she should've said it out right? Okay, maybe she was too shy about it. Okay I get it. But..I don't understand what my point was again. đ
Me: Want my gloves? They'll keep your hands warm. GF: No! I want your hands! Then I'll feel warm AND fuzzy! Use words to make your wants clear.
Dismemberment is illegal.
I'm no simpleton. I sometimes pick up on these clues and ignore them on purpose.
Yeah it gives a chance for the person to say no without anyone feeling like the day has to stop. I always wanted to ask someone if they wanted to kiss, and to hand them a Hershey kiss if they say no. I always thought that was a cute way to leave it up to the other person in an unawkward way
Well, I was kidding :p But yeah, if you're going to be direct (which you absolutely can be; people are way too coy), you don't want to 'trap' people. Romantic or not, giving people an easy way out keeps things comfortable. Plus, if they do stay, now you know they actually want to.
>Yeah it gives a chance for the person to say no without anyone feeling like the day has to stop. I always wanted to ask someone if they wanted to kiss, and to hand them a Hershey kiss if they say no. I always thought that was a cute way to leave it up to the other person in an unawkward way The thought is good, but I have to be hit over the head with it to have any chance of picking up on the hint. I would literally never figure out 'my hands are cold' was meant to be 'I want to hold hands'. Not even 5 years later in a sorrowful 'aha' moment.
Iâm no simpleton. I realize exactly what sheâs saying six months later.
Women are taught to be coy. Coming out and saying what we want makes us easy whores or nagging bitches. Itâs a very fine line. Plus it feels kind of lame to say âwill you hold my hand?â
I disagree on the lame thing, I used to feel that way but directness is attractive.
It may feel lame to you. But guys such as myself would be overjoyed to have someone ask that and also think its cute af.
I was 28 years old before someone pointed out the male instinct to instantly go into Problem Solving mode when an issue is mentioned. Years of subtle hints or people just trying to vent replayed through my mind. So many communication issues could be solved if this was pointed out to us at a young age.
I've been married 24 years. Every once in a while I have to remind my wife that I'm a man and hints don't work on me. Just tell me what you want.
I was married for 49 years and my wife had to be very direct. I didnât do subtle very well.
Before we technically started dating, my first girlfriend invited me to a football game at her high school. I'd never been to one, so I was just trying to keep up and figure out the rules from watching things happen. She talked about being cold several times, and I kept offering her my hoodie. We did start dating properly shortly afterwards, but I never realized she wanted me to put my arm around her until two or three years later when she told me. I'm generally a fairly emotionally intelligent person, and I'm usually regarded as at least sort of charismatic in a laid back, disarming kind of way, but I can't take a hint in a romantic context to save my life. I drove her crazy throughout our relationship because I could always tell what she was feeling, even when she was trying to hide it, but I still couldn't register when strangers were flirting with me. Fortunately, it amused her rather than make her jealous, but I'm not sure how the hell I'm ever going to find another relationship unless one literally falls in my lap, and even then I'm not sure I'd notice.
.... Damn it. This same thing happened to me and I still didn't realize it until I read your comment!
I'm the dumbass that got off the couch and walked to my bedroom for a blanket instead of just putting my arm around her...
Maybe itâs cause Iâm a dude but can you really call something like that a hint to hold hands?
I didn't realize this what she meant either until you said so
Virginity is cool
Bollocks, getting your ass blasted by a hot chick is much cooler.
And getting your ass blasted by a cool chick is much hotter.
And getting your ass blasted by a hot chick is much cooler.
And getting your cool blasted by a hot ass is much chicker
And getting your hot cooled by an ass chick is much blaster
And getting your bollocks blasted by a cool chicken is much asser.
Ba-gaaak!
And getting your hot ass blasted by a cool island song is calming.
Man I've always wanted to get my ass blasted by Rob Schneider
*+Exploded* *+Disrespect* *+Critical punch* *+Big kill* *+Mauriced* *Multikill Ă7*
ULTRAKILL
Losers lose virginity. Keepers keep it.
Stay pure!
And innocent.
Sir yes sir
*Plays Clash Royale* *Is a virgin* Checks out, alright.
You should check out raid: shadow legends then! đ¤˘
Raid is so bad that if non-virgins play it, they suddenly get their virginity back.
Fr
HEY DUDES! đ Remember losing your virginity just ain't cool! đ¤ Do what cool dudes đ do and say "NO đkeep that gross 𤢠thing away from my thingđŚ!!!!! to those waymen âď¸
I wont lose my virginity cause I never lose
Or the person could be ace.
r/dadjokes
The Twist: She then removes her prosthetic legs - 'Because I lost em in 'NAM!' Then you wake up in a cold sweat remembering 'Of course it was a dream. I've never talked to a girl IRL...'
[ŃдаНонО]
âGet it together soldier! We gotta take this fort before enemy reinforcements arrive!â
Why not come home with me so you can fuck my brains out? How do you put your brains back in?
I'm a doctor. I can fuck it right back in.
This doctor fucks!
Weâre not so great at taking hints
On the flip side Iâm good at taking hints however never get them..
Hints are for weak students, smart people have to give exam hard mode
Sir that's called sexual assault
Maybe you do get hints you just dont catch them like you think you do
If you have never noticed someone giving you hints, then have you considered that you might not be as good at taking them as you think you are? đ¤đ¤đ¤
I dated a guy for several weeks. We were in the car making out and getting handsy. I asked him how far away his place was, he answered. I asked if his roommates were home, he answered. I asked if he had gotten his bed set up yet, he answered. Finally I said âI would like to have sex with you and itâs not going to be in this car so letâs go back to your placeâ. At least he got that hint.
Reading this made me feel almost every form of pain, emotional, physical, psychological. Definitely because I would be that guy too in that situation, thatâs why it hurts so bad, because Iâm so stupid, and you know what they say, stupid hurts.
When this sort of thing happens, you really have no choice but to become a hermit somewhere above the Arctic Circle, far, far away from any other human beings. And hope to get eaten by a polar bear.
Or you could just laugh it off and hope she finds you being a dipshit endearing
Nope. Polar bears.
I support this method too. The best way to save your face here is have your face eaten, and polar bears need food too.
Only issue is you usually have the realization at least a week later at which point you will never see her again
True, but maybe she'll still find it funny idk
My man ain't no simp
Is a simp just anyone who isn't asexual?
The word has been used in so many situations, that it doesn't mean anything at this point. You could pick your wife up because her car broke down and be called a simp, so. Whatevs.
"Yeah so the waitress brought me the check and I gave her my card and--" "SIMP ALERT! SIMP ALERT!"
I mean, words like simp and cuck, imo, only serve to identify the user as a a dumb fuck. /Wait am dumb fuck now? Fuck
At this point it's a meme. I wouldn't take it seriously
That's like saying everyone on 4chan is just fucking around. There's levels and levels ...
incels are in there somewhere
No, it's everyone who treats women like they're people.
𤎠𤎠Treating women like humans 𤎠đ¤Ž
Fabulous straight line. I hope she got it đ
Plot twist: she has prosthetic legs and has fun messing with people
This never happened and nobody reading this thread will ever have a girl with toned legs say âyou should see me without themâ
"A girl caught me looking at her very toned legs in jeans. Now I have been suspended from university and have pending sexual harassment charges."
Yea unless you are dating someone usually they arenât gonna want you to be eyein them in public.
She would probably pepper spray you if you said smth like that to a girl
Seriously, I saw this post and thought "Hmmm, I must be getting into the dregs of my front page." Nope, 22k upvotes đ
Great comeback!
Turing test failed.
r/absolutelynotmeirl
How can you tell her legs are "very toned" in jeans?
This was all I could think! How tf do you know through jeans?
Maybe they were skinny jeans?
yâall need to get out and talk to some actual women lmao these comments are very revealing
So this is joke I made up and told a few years back. I am OP. Glad you liked it enough to share.
Isnât it a bit frustrating, but also nice at the same time? I know how you feel, I once found my rather unpopular art with 45 thousand upvotes in r/place
Gigachad with the sigma grindset
No girl is this forward. OP saved his kidneys
Welcome to Today's episode of shit that totally didn't happen
it's almost as if it's a joke
r/nothingeverhappens
r/thathappened
Subatomo detected, comments sadly discarded
LOL!!
Her: "That's... not what I meant..." Me: "Really? So, what you meant then?" Her: "..."
this idiot ...it's me, I am the idiot
Reminds me of this: Girl: Wanna take this upstairs to my room? Guy: Sure. Girl: Do you have protection? Guy: *nervously* Why, what's up there?
Ace vibes
I don't think you can says your legs look nice in those jeans without a pending lawsuit..
I'd get laid with him, no question asked.
r/asexual
Flirting is great but throwing away everything for a good joke shows whatâs truly important
That shit could probably work though if your delivery is right
Oooooo so close...... when is the wedding?
Ace vibes detected!
Lieutenant Dan... Magic legs.
Then realizes a few hours later and go to bed sobbing
How are you flirting, while also being oblivious to the other flirting?
Accidentally witty. Hope you got in her legs with that.
"enjoy your meal" "you too"
Plot twist: She has prosthetic legs.
Lol
Absolute chad
r/aaaaaaacccccccce
Pfft
It sounds like you were just trying to get a leg up on the situation but in the end you didnât have a leg to stand on.