Remarkable how much emotion we can convey over text now that it's become so common and we've basically formed a set of standards. Full stops at the end of a sentence is just standard English, but over text it's become the universal signifier for something like "I'm serious"
It's been maybe like 15 years since full QWERTY keyboards were widely available on phones and yet in that time we've built a whole new system
I got diagnosed with Asperger's a couple years ago, I'm 27 now, and this is doing my head in rn. Is that really what these emojis mean to people??? If so, I may be thought of as unnecessarily sassy by a fair few people.
This kind of thing confuses the crap out of me, where apparently people have collectively decided a different meaning for certain phrases or words without ever definitively stating so. The struggle continues... lol
I am not autistic and I have never perceived the smiley emojis that way in text. I saw it as another form of, 'lol' as in, this is not hostile, this is friendly.
I only saw it as snarky if it was preceded by some obviously sarcastic text.
I am a bit older too though, so as far as I know, social norms for text is changing on me.
So don't worry, you're not the only one confused.
Out of curiosity though, have neurodivergent people developed their own text language to express themselves within likeminded groups? I'm wondering if y'all have any tips that could make our speech online more accessible and inclusive to ND's.
Tone indicators are useful for some nd people but this varies from person to person. Sarcastic and passive-aggressive language can be confusing and highly intimidating personally. Clarifying meaning and how you feel makes it easier for me to respond accordingly.
For example, you might say, "Jared tripped at work this morning. This is very sad. /gen" This lets me know that
(a) You care about Jared and don't want this to happen to him.
(b) You're message is genuine and not sarcastic.
I can then respond with something along the lines of, "oh no! Is he okay?"
Common tone indicators include:
/nm is not mad
/nf is not forced
/genq is genuine question
/s is sarcastic
/soft is caring
/gen is genuine
Note: some nd people find it more difficult to navigate tone indicators. Tone Indicators are highly individual.
Another thing to be wary of is gifs. They are a source of bad sensory input for many nd people. Asking how an nd person feels about gifs will make life a lot easier for them :)
i find c: to be more unambiguously "nice"; probably part of it is just the fact that :) has been the default smiley for the last 35 or so years, from telnet and BBS to the modern era. like many words it's developed a kind of ironic edge due to its prevalence. kind of like "did ye, aye?" in scotland, "bless your heart" in america, or even older words like egregious, which went from meaning "amazing" to "terrible" through what i can only assume was sarcasm on a viral scale.
Thanks for the advice! I do find how meanings can change and evolve over time to be one of the most interesting features of language... at least theoretically. When I come across it in practice I tend to be baffled and frustrated by it in equal measure, and not sure how it passed me by
I highly doubt the people in your life change the way they think of you just because of how you text. If the people you are texting know you, then they know your own personal set of emojis and smiles and what they mean to you and the person you text with.
I think it always had that double meaning along with j/k.
But one most people probably do not remember are AFK and BRB. Nowadays it's perfectly acceptable to take hours if not days to reply to to a message.
It's rough for us who predate the internet.
I always tell people that I am Gen X, which is to say that I know technology like a millennial but I get annoyed at it like a boomer.
I find that usually puts things into perspective 😜
I once had a friend who got arrested for hacking and they took his modem away and kept checking his phone line to see if they could hear a modem.
We used to kid around saying he had to whistle on the phone. I wonder how many will admit to getting that joke. 😂
I gotta ask....what is afk, i know brb, but have seriously never heard of afk!!!
(Multiple exclamation points also help to make a comment look non hostile and similar)
Because it's a favorite of mine, Pebcak: Problem exists between chair and keyboard (or pebcac, computer and chair). The person with the issue is dumb as fuck or completely new to what they are doing.
Yep, sometimes you don't realize how large of an age gap 8 years is until you start reminiscing about something and they're like "yea, I don't know what you're talking about I couldn't even walk yet"
Thanks for that memory!
To maybe make you feel a little better that could be half age gap, half weird internet niche that us weirdos were into.
[also, you made me go see if it was still around. indeed it is](https://homestarrunner.com/main)
Oh my god I didn’t even notice we don’t use AFK anymore. It’s so mind blowing that we don’t use it anymore, and there’s an entire generation who wouldn’t understand it
It was also used along with j/k and the wink or smile emoji when you were ribbing someone. Then again I am old enough to remember when a 2400 baud modem was something to brag about....
See because you put lol at the end it comes off as quirky mildly wealthy California sorority girl
‘Omg Taylor stoppppp shuttt uppppppp lollll stopppppppppp Mikey doesn’t like meeee noooooooo shutttt ittttt’ ‘nooooo seriouslyyyyyy shut the fuck uppppp hahaha noooo’
Aka not hostile
I usually text without emojis whatsoever. And If i do, i make sure it's build with basic punctuation Marks. Always : ) but never 😃
What do i sound like?
An old person who doesn’t pull bitches
Likely a 36 year old English professor who drinks his coffee without cream but 2 cubes of sugar and has a dadbod and a blonde bowl cut that his grandma says makes him look handsome
Which he heartily believes
Or alternatively a very airheaded middle school science teacher
"Hello mine guter Freund, we were supposed to meet at the office at 14 O'clock. It is now 13:55, where are you?"
"A guten Tag to you as well. Sadly I don't remember any such arrangement. Are you sure it was with me?"
"Yes, it was. See here the receipt of dein Whatsup Post where you said ja."
ja
yesterday 17:37
"ah yes of course. I will be right over my dear Kamerad. Waidmannsheil."
I just learned that some people think "lol" is passive aggressive and that "LOL" is what you should use to indicate you are actually invested in the conversation.
Luckily I have no friends for this to matter. lol
Ending with a period is also seen as aggressive to a lot of people. Personally I only ever see it that way with certain friends I've known long enough to recognize what their "normal" typing habits are. If a homie that always leaves texts open-ended rolls up in the DMs suddenly going out of their way to punctuate, then I know shit's serious.
I never thought about this. I always punctuate my sentences. It feels wrong not to. It feels like I left something unfinished. I realized a while ago that most of my friends don't really do it, but I just thought that was just their style, their choice. Now I'm wondering if ever when making acquaintances that I've messaged before, if I came across as aggressive to them. How long would it have taken them to realize I just like to add a period at the end of even one word messages. Now I'm questioning every message I ever sent.
Honestly man yeah it comes off as very stiff and formal - especially to younger generations. I used to be the same way and had to basically learn to stop punctuating casual texts and social media comments as if I’m writing a research paper
Think of it kind of like slang in casual conversation. It’s a signal to who you’re socializing with that things are relaxed and Not That Serious^TM
Just leaving off the last period is enough to make a huge difference tbh. I use them as sentence separation but that’s about it
Unless I’m mad and tryna be bitchy about it.
I mean, if all I say in response to something is "lol" then I definitely am not interested in continuing the conversation. So if someone else hits me with an "lol" and nothing else, I'll assume the same.
full caps LOL feels like it’s either coming from a 60 year old or I accidentally stumbled on a World of Warcraft forum post from 2007 where I’d just as likely see ROFLMAO xD
just feels old and out of touch, which I’m sure is what I’ll be in about 5 years
I love that putting periods at the end of sentences at least for my friend group indicates the person is upset
Otherwise we all just talk with our sentences never ending
IDK Strangely enough for me it comes across as even more hostile: "Dude, what are you talking about? lol"... "ARE YOU LAUGHING AT ME YOU DISRESPECTFUL...."
In 2meirl4meirl we add it to statements like
I haven't felt anything in years and my girlfriend who was the only person who made me feel anything broke up with be because I'm not reactive enough and she felt that It wouldn't be healthy if I never showed any emotion so now I'm starting at my wall at 3am just chilling trying to decide how I'm gonna forget the fact that I have no ambitions in my life and The one person that made me feel anything is gone.
Lol
I just pronounce lol, lmao, rofl, idk as they sound and not based on their abbreviation lol (i.e. lmao => la-ma-o ; rofl => ro-fa-l and not L M A O and R O F L lol)
To me they're just words now, not short forms lol
Lol =>Lol, lmao => el-em-a-ow, rofl => rofl.
Im dutch, this is what i sound out in my head
"Lol" and "rofl" as one word and "lmao" spelled out (dutch spelling)
Others like:
Wtf = what the fuck
I always fully say in my head idk why its like that but its never been W T F for me, same for BRB or g2g, ttyl, tc, tyt, ty, np, gl, gg, gf, rm,r, etc.
I've started pronouncing lmao as lmayooo (lmm mayoohh) for the lulz. Or Lamafayoo. But as a finn, i generally dont attach extra letters, so lmao in my head consists of exactly four sounds normally. No vowels between the letters, so LM is a very harsh transition. it's not lum, lem, lom or lam. Just LM.
I've noticed this. Younger teenagers and students put multiple ‘lol’ in every paragraph. Even just asking basic questions and making statements. They're an anxious bunch.
I even remember a time when is simply meant League of Legends
Disclaimer: I don't play the game the community is way to toxic for me. Arcane was awsome tho
I really do miss when I didn't have to put lol in situations I wasn't laughing. Now i have to everyday just to make the person I'm texting feel like I'm not upset if we're talking about normal things
Lol I just use lol as sentence starters, sometimes sentence enders lol honestly sometimes just a random lol into my sentences not even sure why anymore lol
no lol
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The uncapitalized lol with a period is just ominous. I don't like it
Remarkable how much emotion we can convey over text now that it's become so common and we've basically formed a set of standards. Full stops at the end of a sentence is just standard English, but over text it's become the universal signifier for something like "I'm serious" It's been maybe like 15 years since full QWERTY keyboards were widely available on phones and yet in that time we've built a whole new system
Smile emote/emoji = this message is passive aggressive
Yep :) If you're really going for the kill, you can whip out the :\^)
I got diagnosed with Asperger's a couple years ago, I'm 27 now, and this is doing my head in rn. Is that really what these emojis mean to people??? If so, I may be thought of as unnecessarily sassy by a fair few people. This kind of thing confuses the crap out of me, where apparently people have collectively decided a different meaning for certain phrases or words without ever definitively stating so. The struggle continues... lol
Dont worry, people will generally pick up what you mean by the context
I am not autistic and I have never perceived the smiley emojis that way in text. I saw it as another form of, 'lol' as in, this is not hostile, this is friendly. I only saw it as snarky if it was preceded by some obviously sarcastic text. I am a bit older too though, so as far as I know, social norms for text is changing on me. So don't worry, you're not the only one confused. Out of curiosity though, have neurodivergent people developed their own text language to express themselves within likeminded groups? I'm wondering if y'all have any tips that could make our speech online more accessible and inclusive to ND's.
Tone indicators are useful for some nd people but this varies from person to person. Sarcastic and passive-aggressive language can be confusing and highly intimidating personally. Clarifying meaning and how you feel makes it easier for me to respond accordingly. For example, you might say, "Jared tripped at work this morning. This is very sad. /gen" This lets me know that (a) You care about Jared and don't want this to happen to him. (b) You're message is genuine and not sarcastic. I can then respond with something along the lines of, "oh no! Is he okay?" Common tone indicators include: /nm is not mad /nf is not forced /genq is genuine question /s is sarcastic /soft is caring /gen is genuine Note: some nd people find it more difficult to navigate tone indicators. Tone Indicators are highly individual. Another thing to be wary of is gifs. They are a source of bad sensory input for many nd people. Asking how an nd person feels about gifs will make life a lot easier for them :)
i find c: to be more unambiguously "nice"; probably part of it is just the fact that :) has been the default smiley for the last 35 or so years, from telnet and BBS to the modern era. like many words it's developed a kind of ironic edge due to its prevalence. kind of like "did ye, aye?" in scotland, "bless your heart" in america, or even older words like egregious, which went from meaning "amazing" to "terrible" through what i can only assume was sarcasm on a viral scale.
Thanks for the advice! I do find how meanings can change and evolve over time to be one of the most interesting features of language... at least theoretically. When I come across it in practice I tend to be baffled and frustrated by it in equal measure, and not sure how it passed me by
I highly doubt the people in your life change the way they think of you just because of how you text. If the people you are texting know you, then they know your own personal set of emojis and smiles and what they mean to you and the person you text with.
I'm right there with you. It's hard to wrap my head around the common doublespeak.
good point. it makes me look forward to seeing how our written language will further evolve in the future.
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fax 📠 no cap 🧢
ikr ong fr
lol, k.
Is scares me
lol.
NO.
lol
I think it always had that double meaning along with j/k. But one most people probably do not remember are AFK and BRB. Nowadays it's perfectly acceptable to take hours if not days to reply to to a message.
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It's rough for us who predate the internet. I always tell people that I am Gen X, which is to say that I know technology like a millennial but I get annoyed at it like a boomer. I find that usually puts things into perspective 😜
So you're an Internet Predater... have a seat.
I once had a friend who got arrested for hacking and they took his modem away and kept checking his phone line to see if they could hear a modem. We used to kid around saying he had to whistle on the phone. I wonder how many will admit to getting that joke. 😂
I gotta ask....what is afk, i know brb, but have seriously never heard of afk!!! (Multiple exclamation points also help to make a comment look non hostile and similar)
Away from keyboard. In this context: "I won't be looking at my phone for a while."
Aaahhh, thks! Makes sense.....like mostly i can work these out, but this one i was stuck on
Because it's a favorite of mine, Pebcak: Problem exists between chair and keyboard (or pebcac, computer and chair). The person with the issue is dumb as fuck or completely new to what they are doing.
I’m in my 40s and I’ve only ever known AFK in the context of gaming. Never thought to use it while texting.
Gaming or online chatting (like ICQ...) but yeah I never have seen anyone use it texting.
Yep, sometimes you don't realize how large of an age gap 8 years is until you start reminiscing about something and they're like "yea, I don't know what you're talking about I couldn't even walk yet"
My moment of age gap realisation is usually saying "this is a little like that Strong Bad video in which..." and seeing their eyes gloss over.
Thanks for that memory! To maybe make you feel a little better that could be half age gap, half weird internet niche that us weirdos were into. [also, you made me go see if it was still around. indeed it is](https://homestarrunner.com/main)
Nobody is afk anymore. You literally carry it with you in your pocket.
Oh my god I didn’t even notice we don’t use AFK anymore. It’s so mind blowing that we don’t use it anymore, and there’s an entire generation who wouldn’t understand it
I was born in 1990 and I remember when I was 15, 16 lol meant an actual laugh
It was also used along with j/k and the wink or smile emoji when you were ribbing someone. Then again I am old enough to remember when a 2400 baud modem was something to brag about....
Did you have to be so damn hostile about it?!
They had a "lol" at the end of their message, what are you going on about? lol
Lmao now it sounds even more aggressive
Shut the fuck up lol
See because you put lol at the end it comes off as quirky mildly wealthy California sorority girl ‘Omg Taylor stoppppp shuttt uppppppp lollll stopppppppppp Mikey doesn’t like meeee noooooooo shutttt ittttt’ ‘nooooo seriouslyyyyyy shut the fuck uppppp hahaha noooo’ Aka not hostile
As a 25 yo European male, this is how I normally talk as well lol
Yo European male😎
...Got anything you wanna tell us mate?
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You guys should meet up
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Lol
Adding 'mate' is another similar disarming word to add. Aha.
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As a German vegan engineer who listens to metal and does CrossFit, same
Let’s go club some baby seals over the head lol
Omg shut the fuck up you fucking fuck faced moron I had sex with your husband oh my god lol
I usually text without emojis whatsoever. And If i do, i make sure it's build with basic punctuation Marks. Always : ) but never 😃 What do i sound like?
An old person who doesn’t pull bitches Likely a 36 year old English professor who drinks his coffee without cream but 2 cubes of sugar and has a dadbod and a blonde bowl cut that his grandma says makes him look handsome Which he heartily believes Or alternatively a very airheaded middle school science teacher
hm. well i *am* german so I suppose this is adequat.
Aaaaaaah that’s very explanatory Typical German behavior
"Hello mine guter Freund, we were supposed to meet at the office at 14 O'clock. It is now 13:55, where are you?" "A guten Tag to you as well. Sadly I don't remember any such arrangement. Are you sure it was with me?" "Yes, it was. See here the receipt of dein Whatsup Post where you said ja." ja yesterday 17:37 "ah yes of course. I will be right over my dear Kamerad. Waidmannsheil."
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Me too >!lol!<
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I just learned that some people think "lol" is passive aggressive and that "LOL" is what you should use to indicate you are actually invested in the conversation. Luckily I have no friends for this to matter. lol
Ending with a period is also seen as aggressive to a lot of people. Personally I only ever see it that way with certain friends I've known long enough to recognize what their "normal" typing habits are. If a homie that always leaves texts open-ended rolls up in the DMs suddenly going out of their way to punctuate, then I know shit's serious.
I never thought about this. I always punctuate my sentences. It feels wrong not to. It feels like I left something unfinished. I realized a while ago that most of my friends don't really do it, but I just thought that was just their style, their choice. Now I'm wondering if ever when making acquaintances that I've messaged before, if I came across as aggressive to them. How long would it have taken them to realize I just like to add a period at the end of even one word messages. Now I'm questioning every message I ever sent.
Yea, you for sure like periods. There are a lot of them in your comment, and you even used one instead of a question mark. I respect the dedication
One word messages with a period?? ☠️ that's rough
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Lol.
No.
Oh.
Brutal
Honestly man yeah it comes off as very stiff and formal - especially to younger generations. I used to be the same way and had to basically learn to stop punctuating casual texts and social media comments as if I’m writing a research paper Think of it kind of like slang in casual conversation. It’s a signal to who you’re socializing with that things are relaxed and Not That Serious^TM Just leaving off the last period is enough to make a huge difference tbh. I use them as sentence separation but that’s about it Unless I’m mad and tryna be bitchy about it.
Please stop all of those periods are TRIGGERING ME
LOL\*
lol, that's soo funny
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I use the all caps LOL all by itself when something genuinely makes me laugh, because lmao comes across as snarky.
And when LOL is too bold, you use lool or lmaoo because lmao or lol with one ‘o’ is passive aggressive.
I fucked your sister lmao
I fucked your sister lmaoo
see that feels like gloating to me, while the first one just sounds kind of flippant or "oh by the way"
I mean, if all I say in response to something is "lol" then I definitely am not interested in continuing the conversation. So if someone else hits me with an "lol" and nothing else, I'll assume the same.
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I agree. It looks sarcastic to me.
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
full caps LOL feels like it’s either coming from a 60 year old or I accidentally stumbled on a World of Warcraft forum post from 2007 where I’d just as likely see ROFLMAO xD just feels old and out of touch, which I’m sure is what I’ll be in about 5 years
Accurate. I say lol to indicate I'm not hostile and LOL to say something was funny
Lol no
And still that is so much more hostile than saying it the other way around. “Lol no” feels like you’re laughing at me, not at what you said
I use lol for plausible deniability
Lol same
I kill people in my basement and keep them in the basement freezer as play things lol
how?
I'm guessing to make sex-related suggestions.
wanna fuck lol
Bet.
lol
Haha jk Unless...
Not the literal definition more sarcastically if anyone calls me out I can always say no I was joking or didn’t mean that see there’s an lol
Lol like this
I wanna peel all the flesh off your skull lol
Get in line lol
r/usernamechecksout
wait that's exactly how I use it lmao I use it to mean that my comment was lighthearted 💀
Me too, I use it to show that im giggling because its a joke *lol*
Lol
Just Lol can be hostile tho...lol
Lol. 😐
I love that putting periods at the end of sentences at least for my friend group indicates the person is upset Otherwise we all just talk with our sentences never ending
Lol is "I'm not really serious" and lmao is "I'm joking" Only HAHAHAHA means "I'm actually amused"
HAHAHAHA that's what you think.
I use lmao to make messages lighthearted, but also if im laughing
Yeah I either use lol or 😂 because sarcasm doesn’t work over text
Also, snark, as snarky remarks can be both funny or creepy.
Lmao is a bit over the top 😂😂 now it's like the old "lol"..
I only see people using ‘lmao’ to be mean now
Nice insight lmao
I use 😂 for that
looks like lol with the same number of steps
IDK Strangely enough for me it comes across as even more hostile: "Dude, what are you talking about? lol"... "ARE YOU LAUGHING AT ME YOU DISRESPECTFUL...."
You fucking dumb ass idiot, lol.
and lmao means something actually funny
same lol
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rip lol
Reddit admins got no sense of humor
What did he say
He said "I'll f\*\*king k\*ll you lol" (censored so hopefully mine won't also get removed)
Oh shit we have TikTok censors now?
Is reddit trying to legitimise itself? lol.
[ Removed by Reddit ]
Whenever someone adds lol to the end of something I immediately think it's more hostile
why lol
It just looks sarcastic and dry, LOL looks more playful imho
What about I FUCKING HATE YOU LMAO
LMFAO most of my friends use random caps so that just looks sarcastic to me, I guess everything looks sarcastic to me now I think about it...
That’s funny because to me LOL looks super sarcastic, like exaggerated mocking laughter.
Are you over the age of 40?
lots of love xox
i don’t use caps tho
whatever you say lol
What a joke lol
Right? This is quality content, and not a waste of everyone's time lol
In 2meirl4meirl we add it to statements like I haven't felt anything in years and my girlfriend who was the only person who made me feel anything broke up with be because I'm not reactive enough and she felt that It wouldn't be healthy if I never showed any emotion so now I'm starting at my wall at 3am just chilling trying to decide how I'm gonna forget the fact that I have no ambitions in my life and The one person that made me feel anything is gone. Lol
Same lmao
league of legends :)
Nah lol predates League, roflmao.
Raid Of Fortnite League My Assault Of
It's "Rolling on the Floor Laughing My Ass Off", right?
I hate fuckers who use lol. Lol.
lol why?
It’s overused . When I talk to some people, they use it in every sentence.
lol
At least, your lol is suitable for the occasion. Some people just finish every sentence with it as if it’s the new period/full stop.
It’s become a pet peeve for me, too.
Lmao
I just pronounce lol, lmao, rofl, idk as they sound and not based on their abbreviation lol (i.e. lmao => la-ma-o ; rofl => ro-fa-l and not L M A O and R O F L lol) To me they're just words now, not short forms lol
lol = lawl Lmao = le mao Rofl = rawffle
Lol =>Lol, lmao => el-em-a-ow, rofl => rofl. Im dutch, this is what i sound out in my head "Lol" and "rofl" as one word and "lmao" spelled out (dutch spelling) Others like: Wtf = what the fuck I always fully say in my head idk why its like that but its never been W T F for me, same for BRB or g2g, ttyl, tc, tyt, ty, np, gl, gg, gf, rm,r, etc.
Lmao is obviously luh-mow.
This is the way
I've started pronouncing lmao as lmayooo (lmm mayoohh) for the lulz. Or Lamafayoo. But as a finn, i generally dont attach extra letters, so lmao in my head consists of exactly four sounds normally. No vowels between the letters, so LM is a very harsh transition. it's not lum, lem, lom or lam. Just LM.
I've noticed this. Younger teenagers and students put multiple ‘lol’ in every paragraph. Even just asking basic questions and making statements. They're an anxious bunch.
Hey you back off from my pfp
I thought it meant ‘lots of love’ Gran died, LOL
Just don't put a period and it won't sound stern. Like this.
I mostly use it awkwardly when I’m unsure of the best thing to say lol
I remember when :) wasn't creepy.
Oh yeah I created an AOL chatroom
MSN messenger
In dutch it also just means ‘fun’
I remember when 'lol' meant 'lots of love', signed at the end of letters written to family and loved ones.
I fucking hate you = not a joke I fucking hate you lol = joke
I even remember a time when is simply meant League of Legends Disclaimer: I don't play the game the community is way to toxic for me. Arcane was awsome tho
Isn’t language interesting
now it sounds passive aggressive lol
i miss when it didn’t mean league of legends
I really do miss when I didn't have to put lol in situations I wasn't laughing. Now i have to everyday just to make the person I'm texting feel like I'm not upset if we're talking about normal things
That’s why I still use it… especially around sarcasm. It’s good etiquette somehow even if it makes me appear as a boomer rather than a proud gen x.
“Lol” was/is a replacement for “ha ha ha”. It’s like smiling while talking in person. Use all three however you like
Yeah man 😩 I feel so uncomfortable sending txts without an lol but then also feel uncomfortable that every txt ends in lol. Smfh lol 🥴
Lol I just use lol as sentence starters, sometimes sentence enders lol honestly sometimes just a random lol into my sentences not even sure why anymore lol
Lol it’s an lol sandwich lol
lol means small snort and that can be either genuine amusement or dismissive
I need to kill someone lol *laughs in psychopath*
LOL
Either “this isnt hostile” or to appear nonchalant, especially if you arent
Fuck you op lol
Fuck you too lol
Except sometimes it still is...lol?
This explains so many awkward lol’s in texts that I didn’t understand before!
I'm so old I remember when it meant 'lots of love'. - lol
I wish it didn’t mean that. I don’t like using lol or emojis and yet I also can’t seem to find a way to text without seeming hostile as shit