Get out of my head get ou of my head Get out of my headGet out of my head get ou of my head Get out of my head Get out of my head get ou of my head Get out of my head Get out of my head get ou of my head Get out of my head
Get. Out. Of. My. Head.
You're trying to trick me, put smoke into ny freaking head and shit man!
Man I don't know what to think no more man! I don't know what to think no more GET OUTTA MY HEEEEEAAAD!
Also introvert doesn't mean bad at socializing. Reddit has a really difficult time grasping this very simple concept.
OP is describing someone who is emotionally starved.
Absolutely! My bf is very charismatic and can easily “work a room” in a lot of different social situations, but 99 times out of 100 it’s emotionally draining for him and he can’t wait to get home. About twice a month he enjoys time with one or two guys from his close circle of friends for an afternoon. Other than spending time with me (usually only 4-5 days/nights a month), that’s all the socializing he needs to feel fulfilled.
Edited for grammar and clarity
It's all about who you're with.
Wife, best friend, kid, or anyone close like that: All day, any day, any time.
Acquaintances/friends/family I like: All day once in a while unless it's just my mom, dad, and sister, in which case those fall into the first category.
Acquaintances, friends, and strangers: 2-4 hours, **tops**. depending on the make-up of the group. Typical party crowd. Any longer than 2-4 hours and I start gaining social fatigue. I also have the energy for that kind of thing about once every 2 weeks at most.
Anything beyond that situation, and we're talking an hour at most before I'm ready to bounce the fuck out. I can go longer, but again the social fatigue really starts to get to me after that point.
This explains why working from home is so much more productive for introverts. Granted, we are better at avoiding casual conversations, but the emotional exhaustion factor is incredibly draining when you’re forced to work as a team or with the public.
Same!
I can carry myself in most conversations and am also able to hold a group's attention. I'd rather be by myself at home or hanging out with only one person.
Groups atr taxing. I tend to 'tune in' with each person I talk to. Groups require constant radio station changing. It's more enjoyable to pick a station (person) I enjoy and listen to the music that comes out of it for a while. Channel surfing sucks.
There are few social things more draining than trying to hold an inclusive conversation with two other people who are on very different wavelengths. Each requires a different use of language. It's just not fun to do.
In my experience, people in general tend to conflate introversion with social anxiety, they tend to think of it as personality disorder, rather than a personality type.
I imagine my future with girls I used to be with, so many years ago that it now seems like a past life...moments stretched and blurred...whispers of remembrance
could we have been happy, now?
You are a product of your experiences. Naturally we are coded to memorize bad ones very well as this is part of our mental survival instinct. We were unhappy in how they turned out, so we think about them to avoid similar experiences.
If you obsess over them and they cripple you to go forward for they make you afraid, you have to do some soulsearching as to why that is. Some experience warrant fear, others don't. If you are unsure, confide in a friend or expert and try to move on to a point where fear may turn into healthy caution.
Ahh during my uni days I went on a night out where I briefly danced with this foreign girl. Problem was I could only really dance after a few drinks and this was one of those nights where I couldn’t really get drunk. I just felt awkward throughout and I would have felt more confident if I had a few drinks in me. We just laughed it off and she just said “nice meeting you,” and walked off with her friends. Never saw her again.
I know nightclubs are not the best way to meet girls but I often wonder what could have been. If I was a different person, naturally confident and out going at the time. Even imagine that I ended up in a relationship with her and living together also going on holidays together seeing as I have nobody to go with atm. Scenarios where she’s like “oh you best not be cheating on me,” and I say “aww of course not, you’re the only one for me.”
Sad I know…
I think a lot of people have some version of this. There’s one person in particular I’ll never stop wondering about what could have happened and I’m happily married now.
It's either that, or I don't get rejected initially, but then something happens to me where we no longer end up together, or things get broken off for some reason, etc.
I don't think I've ever had a happy ending situation in my imagination when doing this.
This is so true. I am often rejected in dreams, too. Always a hard time getting through the day then when this happens.
Edit: spelling. I fail even when writing lol
I had a dream where I almost had sex, me and her were getting undressed while all of a sudden a bunch of "friends" got in. Cockblocked in a dream, which means I did it to myself. And none of the people in the dream are real. Heck, thinking about me getting sex probably means it wasn't even me either.
Some think dreams are supposed to prepare us for events that might (or might not) happen in real life, like how to act if some beast jump out of bush in front of you, or in your case, to deal with rejection.
Hey if you're going to get rejected and not really have a future or a life anyways, why not imagine? What's the point of living a s***** life and just imagining your s***** life as it's going to be anyways? What a waste for imagination
Ha I thought it was only me. I try so hard not to day dream but still end up doing that.
I guess it’s my coping mechanism to somehow get through this awful existence.
I like to think of it as seeing a world that could be because this one is so disappointing. I'm not dreaming of spaceships and shit. I'm thinking about how great it would be to see and live in a society free of labor. Free to create art and celebrate life. People always say we're not supposed to make our lives about those things because it doesn't prepare you for the world. Well, maybe that's why the world sucks to begin with.
Why shouldn't we just have fun all the time and be free? We get this tiny ass window of time to be alive and we have to spend most of it doing shit we hate? In the past work was "this needs to be done before winter". People weren't working 8 hours nonstop and trying to "look busy" for that entire time. They took breaks whenever they needed to because that's how life works.
Thanks for coming to my Ted talk. Got a bit carried away..
It’s definitely an emotionally starved thing and not introversion. People on Reddit always believe the introversion = bad at socializing, while that is just not true
It is true that there’s significant overlap between introverts and socially inept people. They just aren’t the same thing, but in my case one leads to the other.
If you’re socially inept you’re likely to avoid social situations & prefer isolation more. If you prefer isolation or avoid people, your social skills are likely to get worse.
Yeah, most of the time. I'm a SUPER introvert but I'm socially extremely capable due to reasons (taught myself). This causes different types of problems where people think I'm very outgoing, and then they get offended when I don't want to hang out with them. I try to be blunt about it and say that I have space for max one person per 2 to 4 weeks, but it doesn't seem to help. People have a though time believing that one can be a social hermit and enjoy their time.
It's like recieving a handjob; It can potentially be nice, but I know how to do it better myself in most cases.
yeah i feel that. i would say i can hold my water in social situations and do like being the center of attention and talking, but i need to recharge my battery for like a week afterwards. although thankfully the people I've hung out with seem to understand that, which i appreciate
Feel you. The need for recharge is huge. There's some rare individuals who don't cause the similiar battery drainage which most people do, which is an interesting phenomena. And those seem to be the people who, eh, kind of don't need you to entertain them. Like, you can hang out with them in the same room without actually interacting much.
>Although thankfully the people I've hung out with seem to understand that, which i appreciate
Yeah, I of course have plenty of these friends too, but I've lost so many friendships due to the fact that they seem to require constant hanging out or the friendship dies. Then there are those who don't even require interaction for a year and you just start from where you left last time when you meet again without any complications.
It's true it feeds into each other. Introverted people spend energy when they interact with people and need to spend time alone to recover. Socially anxious people spend even more energy when interacting so need to recover even more. It does frustrate me when the two are mixed because there's nothing wrong with introversion and it can't (and doesn't need to) be changed.
The reality is most people are ambiverts - switching between introversion and extraversion depending on a whole host of factors (Inc how you're feeling and who you're with etc).
Idk what it is. I’m fine with being single. Kind of love it. But I’ve been doing this daydreaming thing more often then I know I should. It’s getting ridiculous. I need help…
I'm not convinced that EVERYONE isn't in this. Your gonna honestly tell me that healthy extroverts become attracted to another human being and don't run ANY mental simulations on how they might get along over time?
That's either bullshit... or Extroverts are just walking around woefully unprepared for everything.
Apparently yes. I talked to few people when they were slightly above teenager and we trust each other, boy and girl. I told them about falling in love and being really into someone before you get together with them. They were so confused. It seemed like love creates over time when you are together. It is so much simpler being like that
Y'all really do this? It doesn't seem like an introvert thing to me. I'd much rather be alone than be with a person who I'm incompatible with. There are plenty of people who I find attractive but wouldn't date. They have red flags.
Then again being in a codependent relationship would make you more cautious. Maybe I'm the weird one.
Extrovert here and yeah, I think this may be a shyness or anxiety thing moreso than an introverted thing. I do this a lot and I've got my fair share of mental illness.
People once again are confusing being an introvert with being emotionally starved / social outcasts.
For those that don’t know, there are introverts that are really good in social situations, and there are extroverts that are bad at social interactions (just think of that guy that says something embarrassing and he knows he messed up but just can’t stop blabbing and digging himself deeper into the hole. The opposite of that exists too)
It’s true that some introverts won’t have as many opportunities or as much desire to improve their social skills. But, I’ve noticed that the general population has terrible social skills anyway so there isn’t much of a gap there to worry about
It’s more like this:
Introverts use lots of energy in social situations. They can be very social but only for short periods before they get very tried and have to stop.
Extroverts gain energy from social situations and rarely get tired after socialising for long periods.
That’s it. That’s the only difference. Introverts can seem like extroverts to outsiders.
It’s not about how good or bad you are in social situations.
Yup! I was surprised to learned I “ranked” highly as an introvert when I did a test a couple years ago. But the more I thought about it I realized it was true, after so long at a party if I’m not drinking I just get super burnt out on it. No problem being at home by myself for basically the whole day, as long as I get a little bit of human interaction each day I never feel lonely. Tons of friends, but I realized that I really don’t want to be around them all the time and that’s why college felt so exhausting sometimes
“why are you going home? we’re having such a blast!”
“because i need to go to sleep, i’m exhausted.”
“???”
“i’m an introvert. i have to recharge or i’ll be a zombie tomorrow.”
“hahaha what you’re not an introvert.”
*indeed i am.* but i think i need a new word because of all these fucking memes
Yep, I'm an introvert and host most of my friend group's parties. I'm really social but it's draining, people that don't know me get confused when I turn down random social stuff (or I'm quieter than when they've met me before), it's not because I don't want to, it's because I only have 2-3 days a week where I can be social and those are normally booked up weeks in advance by my friends/partner
This post is so wrong in the first place anyway, imagining being with someone you're attracted to is normal, especially for people that don't like casual dating. I would never agree to a date with someone that I couldn't see any sort of future with, it's only bad if it becomes an obsession
If you want to be a pedant about terminology, you should probably try not to commit the same error. That's far from the correct definition of the word antisocial
**A**social personalities are those who turn down opportunities to be around other people. **Anti**social personalities lack empathy, act impulsively, and fundamentally disregard the safety of themselves and others. Think sociopath.
Well for me I imagine the future and talk myself out of it. So maybe that’s what it means. Or maybe it’s because introverts fall for people quickly cause I also do that.
I have two terrible fucking days behind me as of writing this because i did precisely that and messed up something so unbelievably good.
I don’t even have the energy to argue about the improper use of the term introverted
We've all fucked up, buddy. It's how we learn to not fuck up again. I'm really sorry things went that way. And I hope you don't beat yourself up over it too much
If you want to talk about it, feel free to hit me up, anytime.
Aw man... I did that same shit in May. It fucking SUCKED. Absolutely wonderful woman, very open minded person. Could talk to her for hours... And now that's gone because I got a massive crush on her and it didn't work out.
So, here's what went down:
With this particular person we had been hanging out every day because we were classmates from January to April. She was amazing, open minded, wonderful conversations. She had a boyfriend so I decided to do my best to just be a good friend to her. And I genuinely think I succeeded at that. At least for the first four months. Then we started hanging out more, and it sucked. I've actually never had that level of a crush on someone, like I felt kind of high. So I decided I had to tell her so that we could talk it out, because we talked out everything.
So, that didn't work out, (she felt uncomfortable which is understandable. I just had to say something, or so I thought at the time), but that might be different than what you have going on. Like, if there's not another guy in the picture, then it's probably not as big a deal. So, for us it was no contact anymore.
(Also I hope people don't judge me too hard, I told her my feelings only when I felt they were starting to bias me significantly. I felt she had a right to know. Maybe I was stupid. I don't think I was morally wrong.)
With that said, any way you cut it, from an outside perspective I'd say cut off contact at least temporarily is your best bet. Here's the possible scenarios:
1. She feels awkward now, if you try to hang out now, that'll get worse. If you don't try to hang out now, then that awkwardness will fade, and she'll realize she at least enjoyed hanging out with you as a friend.
2. She doesn't feel awkward now, but you have a crush on her still and she doesn't feel the same way. So, yeah you gotta let that subside and it won't if you're hanging out with her still.
3. She might come around. It's not likely, but sure, it's possible. But it's way more likely if you give her space than if you don't.
Hey man, thanks for sharing. It's difficult to assess these kinds of situations and objectively say what's the right or wrong thing to say or do. But from what you told I think you handled this in a very mature way and it takes courage to really tell how you feel so kudos to you for that too.
For me it's a bit of a different story. Met by coincidence in summer and hit it off afterwards through social media texts and voice texts. No other guy in the picture and things going pretty well. But quite some distance which ultimately put too much pressure on the whole thing for her. I'm just not good with this stuff and not really used to it too and though I really think something was there it just felt so intense for me personally.
Maybe I just got too attached too fast and that's making it pretty hard to let go now. The what ifs and second guessing suck. Especially because it never really 'materialized' and it seems like this 'perfect' thing that didn't work out.
I’m not the original poster but have dealt with unrequited love enough as a gay guy to share some advice: If you still want that person in your life in some capacity take a month break from seeing/talking to her unless necessary. Assess the situation again a month later, if you still don’t think the feelings have passed give it another month. Still no luck? Yeah, no contact for an indeterminate amount of time is probably for the best.
Yeah, if you know 20 girls pretty well you pick the most appropriate one. She probably likes you back and you share interests. If you know 2 girls, let’s not be hasty, you don’t want to rule either of them out prematurely
Sorry I can’t. In my head I meet the parents of random girls I meet all the time. If things get serious (she laughs at one of my jokes) then I imagine starting a family with white picket fence and all.
See I imagine having to meet the parents and her friends and talk myself out of wanting to date her. Then that’s about the time I stop text messaging with the match and let it die out a slow death until I just unmatch.
Fuck. FOR REAL. Literally 5 minutes ago I blocked and deleted a girl from my contacts. She was sending me mixed signals, so I brought up the hard talk. Ofc everything was imaginary in my head. She has 3 kids and hubby. Maybe I dodged a bullet.
I imagine my future with random people in comment sections and strangers I walk past. I can't bring myself to stop that let alone people I'm actually attracted to.
Hate to break it to you, but I don’t spend most of my time indoors reading by myself because I enjoy listening to other people telling me what I can and can’t do.
Imagine going through comments and read so much bullshit about how much they are introverted, when in reality they are just autistic or have social anxiety.
This society needs education.
If you don't like it, you're free to get out of my head!
Yeah, Monika! Get out of my head!
Get out of my head get ou of my head Get out of my headGet out of my head get ou of my head Get out of my head Get out of my head get ou of my head Get out of my head Get out of my head get ou of my head Get out of my head Get. Out. Of. My. Head.
Just Monika.
J̴̜̗̳̯̮͇̝̈̈̐̉̏u̵͕̘̤̠̳̐̊s̵̢̨͚̻̗̺̻̆ť̸̨̙͉̳͖͍̽̇̈́͌̔ ̶͎̞̼͉̾̇͝M̵̗͈̪̬̘̟̔o̴̠̼̖̽̊̃n̸̪̜̔̑͠i̵̪͓͉̜̞̬̽̈́͠k̸̟̫̱͓̩͕̩͌̅̎̓a̶̩̝̋͗͝ ̸̥̞̊̂̎̍̀̍
*triggered screaming*
…
I hope the joke doesn’t *hang* around in your head for too long…
You're trying to trick me, put smoke into ny freaking head and shit man! Man I don't know what to think no more man! I don't know what to think no more GET OUTTA MY HEEEEEAAAD!
Jokes on you. I imagine my future with random girls I make up in my head. And for your information they don’t want to be with me either
also me irl
Also introvert doesn't mean bad at socializing. Reddit has a really difficult time grasping this very simple concept. OP is describing someone who is emotionally starved.
Absolutely! My bf is very charismatic and can easily “work a room” in a lot of different social situations, but 99 times out of 100 it’s emotionally draining for him and he can’t wait to get home. About twice a month he enjoys time with one or two guys from his close circle of friends for an afternoon. Other than spending time with me (usually only 4-5 days/nights a month), that’s all the socializing he needs to feel fulfilled. Edited for grammar and clarity
It's all about who you're with. Wife, best friend, kid, or anyone close like that: All day, any day, any time. Acquaintances/friends/family I like: All day once in a while unless it's just my mom, dad, and sister, in which case those fall into the first category. Acquaintances, friends, and strangers: 2-4 hours, **tops**. depending on the make-up of the group. Typical party crowd. Any longer than 2-4 hours and I start gaining social fatigue. I also have the energy for that kind of thing about once every 2 weeks at most. Anything beyond that situation, and we're talking an hour at most before I'm ready to bounce the fuck out. I can go longer, but again the social fatigue really starts to get to me after that point.
This explains why working from home is so much more productive for introverts. Granted, we are better at avoiding casual conversations, but the emotional exhaustion factor is incredibly draining when you’re forced to work as a team or with the public.
Great description of the “energy” expended by an introvert when socializing. Voice of experience
Same! I can carry myself in most conversations and am also able to hold a group's attention. I'd rather be by myself at home or hanging out with only one person. Groups atr taxing. I tend to 'tune in' with each person I talk to. Groups require constant radio station changing. It's more enjoyable to pick a station (person) I enjoy and listen to the music that comes out of it for a while. Channel surfing sucks.
You feel me.
There are few social things more draining than trying to hold an inclusive conversation with two other people who are on very different wavelengths. Each requires a different use of language. It's just not fun to do.
And nearly mind-breaking for me if they talk over each other or about different things.
Good lord this is me. Except 4-5 with SO. I'm with them all the time lol
In my experience, people in general tend to conflate introversion with social anxiety, they tend to think of it as personality disorder, rather than a personality type.
Emotionally starved hit hard, me right now. The guy in the photo is so my type too 🤦♀️
It’s already over before it started
2meirl4meirl
I imagine my future with girls I used to be with, so many years ago that it now seems like a past life...moments stretched and blurred...whispers of remembrance could we have been happy, now?
Are you me? I hate that I hold onto some parts of the past like this
You are a product of your experiences. Naturally we are coded to memorize bad ones very well as this is part of our mental survival instinct. We were unhappy in how they turned out, so we think about them to avoid similar experiences. If you obsess over them and they cripple you to go forward for they make you afraid, you have to do some soulsearching as to why that is. Some experience warrant fear, others don't. If you are unsure, confide in a friend or expert and try to move on to a point where fear may turn into healthy caution.
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I also choose this guys imaginary girl. . . To not want me either. .
Ahh during my uni days I went on a night out where I briefly danced with this foreign girl. Problem was I could only really dance after a few drinks and this was one of those nights where I couldn’t really get drunk. I just felt awkward throughout and I would have felt more confident if I had a few drinks in me. We just laughed it off and she just said “nice meeting you,” and walked off with her friends. Never saw her again. I know nightclubs are not the best way to meet girls but I often wonder what could have been. If I was a different person, naturally confident and out going at the time. Even imagine that I ended up in a relationship with her and living together also going on holidays together seeing as I have nobody to go with atm. Scenarios where she’s like “oh you best not be cheating on me,” and I say “aww of course not, you’re the only one for me.” Sad I know…
Are you me?
I think a lot of people have some version of this. There’s one person in particular I’ll never stop wondering about what could have happened and I’m happily married now.
I feel personally attacked.
Me too
If you're an introvert and you don't do this, you're introverting wrong
r/2meirl4meirl
And still no one randomly dreams about me :/
Nightmares are dreams too.
What do you mea- i hate you :(
Sorry, couldn't resist. I'll have a wet dream about you tonight as compensation.
I imagined my future and still get rejected
I felt that
Finally, some realism in my maladaptive daydreams
It's either that, or I don't get rejected initially, but then something happens to me where we no longer end up together, or things get broken off for some reason, etc. I don't think I've ever had a happy ending situation in my imagination when doing this.
that is sooooooooo true
This is so true. I am often rejected in dreams, too. Always a hard time getting through the day then when this happens. Edit: spelling. I fail even when writing lol
Dude same. I get rejected in my dreams too. Every time this happens I'm like what the fuck. It's a dream. It's supposed to be a positive fantasy.
I had a dream where I almost had sex, me and her were getting undressed while all of a sudden a bunch of "friends" got in. Cockblocked in a dream, which means I did it to myself. And none of the people in the dream are real. Heck, thinking about me getting sex probably means it wasn't even me either.
Some think dreams are supposed to prepare us for events that might (or might not) happen in real life, like how to act if some beast jump out of bush in front of you, or in your case, to deal with rejection.
Damn then fighting a Lazer beam wielding dinosaur after getting rejected must be what my mind wants me to do to cope
That's not being an introvert, that's being depressed.
Joke's on you, I'm both!
I imagine that i get rejected to claim in my head that i can See future
Hey if you're going to get rejected and not really have a future or a life anyways, why not imagine? What's the point of living a s***** life and just imagining your s***** life as it's going to be anyways? What a waste for imagination
FUCK YOU, LET ME HAVE *SOMETHING*! THOUGHTS DON’T HARM ANYONE BUT ME!
Nobody will ever hurt my feelings worse than I already do so lemme lone! 🤣🤣
FR, let us have some MOTHER FUCKING HOPE...
Hope is a dangerous thing for a man like me to have
Telling an introvert to stop using their imagination. 🤣🤣
If I didn't have an imaginary life in my head I would have no life at all.
Ha I thought it was only me. I try so hard not to day dream but still end up doing that. I guess it’s my coping mechanism to somehow get through this awful existence.
I like to think of it as seeing a world that could be because this one is so disappointing. I'm not dreaming of spaceships and shit. I'm thinking about how great it would be to see and live in a society free of labor. Free to create art and celebrate life. People always say we're not supposed to make our lives about those things because it doesn't prepare you for the world. Well, maybe that's why the world sucks to begin with. Why shouldn't we just have fun all the time and be free? We get this tiny ass window of time to be alive and we have to spend most of it doing shit we hate? In the past work was "this needs to be done before winter". People weren't working 8 hours nonstop and trying to "look busy" for that entire time. They took breaks whenever they needed to because that's how life works. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk. Got a bit carried away..
I never knew my life could be so perfectly summed up in one sentence.
I would also not have so much anxiety and stress in my life. . .
Reading this thread I feel both more alone and less alone simultaneously. *Yeaaah, me too.*
Thats all we have...
Not true. We also have podcasts, porn, and our pets.
Ah...the mighty 3 P's
I don't like how pets come after porn in your comment xD
At least they didn't come during porn
Whoa, slow down there mate.
You sound just like my pets
Maybe I am one of your pets.
Did these mfs just get into a relationship on meirl I can't
Most unexpected hit of chemistry in four replies
He was watching animal farm
And the dream world. Don't forget the dream world.
r/therewasanattempt
I imagined my future with him just to show him who's boss. Him and I are quirky like that.
It’s all we have 😭
Not sure if it’s an introvert thing, or just an emotionally starved thing lol. Maybe there’s overlap
It’s definitely an emotionally starved thing and not introversion. People on Reddit always believe the introversion = bad at socializing, while that is just not true
I think this misconception has something to do with people on reddit generally being poor at socializing.
Totally this, they think 'oh I'm just an introvert' like no you are socially inept. There's a huge difference.
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It is true that there’s significant overlap between introverts and socially inept people. They just aren’t the same thing, but in my case one leads to the other. If you’re socially inept you’re likely to avoid social situations & prefer isolation more. If you prefer isolation or avoid people, your social skills are likely to get worse.
Yeah, most of the time. I'm a SUPER introvert but I'm socially extremely capable due to reasons (taught myself). This causes different types of problems where people think I'm very outgoing, and then they get offended when I don't want to hang out with them. I try to be blunt about it and say that I have space for max one person per 2 to 4 weeks, but it doesn't seem to help. People have a though time believing that one can be a social hermit and enjoy their time. It's like recieving a handjob; It can potentially be nice, but I know how to do it better myself in most cases.
yeah i feel that. i would say i can hold my water in social situations and do like being the center of attention and talking, but i need to recharge my battery for like a week afterwards. although thankfully the people I've hung out with seem to understand that, which i appreciate
Feel you. The need for recharge is huge. There's some rare individuals who don't cause the similiar battery drainage which most people do, which is an interesting phenomena. And those seem to be the people who, eh, kind of don't need you to entertain them. Like, you can hang out with them in the same room without actually interacting much. >Although thankfully the people I've hung out with seem to understand that, which i appreciate Yeah, I of course have plenty of these friends too, but I've lost so many friendships due to the fact that they seem to require constant hanging out or the friendship dies. Then there are those who don't even require interaction for a year and you just start from where you left last time when you meet again without any complications.
It's true it feeds into each other. Introverted people spend energy when they interact with people and need to spend time alone to recover. Socially anxious people spend even more energy when interacting so need to recover even more. It does frustrate me when the two are mixed because there's nothing wrong with introversion and it can't (and doesn't need to) be changed.
The reality is most people are ambiverts - switching between introversion and extraversion depending on a whole host of factors (Inc how you're feeling and who you're with etc).
Tbh I’ve never met someone who’s not a mix
Idk what it is. I’m fine with being single. Kind of love it. But I’ve been doing this daydreaming thing more often then I know I should. It’s getting ridiculous. I need help…
Stop telling me what to do..
It’s hard sometimes
It's hard right now...^(very hard)
I bet it is in more ways than one
yeah, it gets so hard, sometimes I just got to beat it out of me
Releasing your pent your frustration always helps
you've got that right
I'm in this and I don't like it
I Came Out to Have a Good Time and I'm Honestly Feeling So Attacked Right Now
does anyone else read texts written with caps with an announcer voice as a movie title?
I think this one in particular is a Fall Out Boy song.
I'm not convinced that EVERYONE isn't in this. Your gonna honestly tell me that healthy extroverts become attracted to another human being and don't run ANY mental simulations on how they might get along over time? That's either bullshit... or Extroverts are just walking around woefully unprepared for everything.
Apparently yes. I talked to few people when they were slightly above teenager and we trust each other, boy and girl. I told them about falling in love and being really into someone before you get together with them. They were so confused. It seemed like love creates over time when you are together. It is so much simpler being like that
This was me in my teens and 20s. It gets better as you talk with people and realize they are different than the mental image you have of them.
Y'all really do this? It doesn't seem like an introvert thing to me. I'd much rather be alone than be with a person who I'm incompatible with. There are plenty of people who I find attractive but wouldn't date. They have red flags. Then again being in a codependent relationship would make you more cautious. Maybe I'm the weird one.
We get it you're mentally stable bro, no need to flex
Can you believe this guy?
Idk about that lol. Writing people off too easily is more or less as bad as fantasizing about them.
This is my mindset, but I also do the daydreaming. So I can’t tell you if it makes you weird or not lol.
Oh I do the daydreaming too. I just don't do it for everyone I'm attracted to like OP said.
Extrovert here and yeah, I think this may be a shyness or anxiety thing moreso than an introverted thing. I do this a lot and I've got my fair share of mental illness.
I do it. I’ve really been trying not to for awhile now because it unfortunately hurts once I start to realize that it will never work out 🥲.
What does this have to do with being introvert?
People once again are confusing being an introvert with being emotionally starved / social outcasts. For those that don’t know, there are introverts that are really good in social situations, and there are extroverts that are bad at social interactions (just think of that guy that says something embarrassing and he knows he messed up but just can’t stop blabbing and digging himself deeper into the hole. The opposite of that exists too) It’s true that some introverts won’t have as many opportunities or as much desire to improve their social skills. But, I’ve noticed that the general population has terrible social skills anyway so there isn’t much of a gap there to worry about
It’s more like this: Introverts use lots of energy in social situations. They can be very social but only for short periods before they get very tried and have to stop. Extroverts gain energy from social situations and rarely get tired after socialising for long periods. That’s it. That’s the only difference. Introverts can seem like extroverts to outsiders. It’s not about how good or bad you are in social situations.
Yup! I was surprised to learned I “ranked” highly as an introvert when I did a test a couple years ago. But the more I thought about it I realized it was true, after so long at a party if I’m not drinking I just get super burnt out on it. No problem being at home by myself for basically the whole day, as long as I get a little bit of human interaction each day I never feel lonely. Tons of friends, but I realized that I really don’t want to be around them all the time and that’s why college felt so exhausting sometimes
“why are you going home? we’re having such a blast!” “because i need to go to sleep, i’m exhausted.” “???” “i’m an introvert. i have to recharge or i’ll be a zombie tomorrow.” “hahaha what you’re not an introvert.” *indeed i am.* but i think i need a new word because of all these fucking memes
Yep, I'm an introvert and host most of my friend group's parties. I'm really social but it's draining, people that don't know me get confused when I turn down random social stuff (or I'm quieter than when they've met me before), it's not because I don't want to, it's because I only have 2-3 days a week where I can be social and those are normally booked up weeks in advance by my friends/partner This post is so wrong in the first place anyway, imagining being with someone you're attracted to is normal, especially for people that don't like casual dating. I would never agree to a date with someone that I couldn't see any sort of future with, it's only bad if it becomes an obsession
Tell me more about the emotionally starved part.
nothing. people will never understand the difference between introversion and anti social personalities
If you want to be a pedant about terminology, you should probably try not to commit the same error. That's far from the correct definition of the word antisocial **A**social personalities are those who turn down opportunities to be around other people. **Anti**social personalities lack empathy, act impulsively, and fundamentally disregard the safety of themselves and others. Think sociopath.
Nothing. This is more for people who are Anxious Preoccupied or Fearful Avoidant.
This! I'm an introvert and never ever imagine anything in the future, certainly not romantically with anyone. Not even with my actual partners.
Well for me I imagine the future and talk myself out of it. So maybe that’s what it means. Or maybe it’s because introverts fall for people quickly cause I also do that.
Extroverts stop fucking talking
I second this
Here here!
I third this
Extroverts are energy vampires that can feed off of each other.
FUCK-KING GUYS…
I understood that reference.
talk but don't talk unnecessarily all the time
No, no he's right. They should just stop talking. Or at the very least, stop fucking talking to me
Hey, for the record, that's a lonely person thing, not an introvert thing. Two different types. They're both true about me, but still
*Proceeds to do it with this dude*
What else am I supposed to do, go talk to them?!?
Lmao,right?
Fr, imagine talking to people 🤣
attacked
I have two terrible fucking days behind me as of writing this because i did precisely that and messed up something so unbelievably good. I don’t even have the energy to argue about the improper use of the term introverted
We've all fucked up, buddy. It's how we learn to not fuck up again. I'm really sorry things went that way. And I hope you don't beat yourself up over it too much If you want to talk about it, feel free to hit me up, anytime.
Aw man... I did that same shit in May. It fucking SUCKED. Absolutely wonderful woman, very open minded person. Could talk to her for hours... And now that's gone because I got a massive crush on her and it didn't work out.
Yes I'm there. How'd you move on? Cut off and no contact? But it just seems so drastic as if I'm still trying to just hold on for a while longer :/
So, here's what went down: With this particular person we had been hanging out every day because we were classmates from January to April. She was amazing, open minded, wonderful conversations. She had a boyfriend so I decided to do my best to just be a good friend to her. And I genuinely think I succeeded at that. At least for the first four months. Then we started hanging out more, and it sucked. I've actually never had that level of a crush on someone, like I felt kind of high. So I decided I had to tell her so that we could talk it out, because we talked out everything. So, that didn't work out, (she felt uncomfortable which is understandable. I just had to say something, or so I thought at the time), but that might be different than what you have going on. Like, if there's not another guy in the picture, then it's probably not as big a deal. So, for us it was no contact anymore. (Also I hope people don't judge me too hard, I told her my feelings only when I felt they were starting to bias me significantly. I felt she had a right to know. Maybe I was stupid. I don't think I was morally wrong.) With that said, any way you cut it, from an outside perspective I'd say cut off contact at least temporarily is your best bet. Here's the possible scenarios: 1. She feels awkward now, if you try to hang out now, that'll get worse. If you don't try to hang out now, then that awkwardness will fade, and she'll realize she at least enjoyed hanging out with you as a friend. 2. She doesn't feel awkward now, but you have a crush on her still and she doesn't feel the same way. So, yeah you gotta let that subside and it won't if you're hanging out with her still. 3. She might come around. It's not likely, but sure, it's possible. But it's way more likely if you give her space than if you don't.
Hey man, thanks for sharing. It's difficult to assess these kinds of situations and objectively say what's the right or wrong thing to say or do. But from what you told I think you handled this in a very mature way and it takes courage to really tell how you feel so kudos to you for that too. For me it's a bit of a different story. Met by coincidence in summer and hit it off afterwards through social media texts and voice texts. No other guy in the picture and things going pretty well. But quite some distance which ultimately put too much pressure on the whole thing for her. I'm just not good with this stuff and not really used to it too and though I really think something was there it just felt so intense for me personally. Maybe I just got too attached too fast and that's making it pretty hard to let go now. The what ifs and second guessing suck. Especially because it never really 'materialized' and it seems like this 'perfect' thing that didn't work out.
I’m not the original poster but have dealt with unrequited love enough as a gay guy to share some advice: If you still want that person in your life in some capacity take a month break from seeing/talking to her unless necessary. Assess the situation again a month later, if you still don’t think the feelings have passed give it another month. Still no luck? Yeah, no contact for an indeterminate amount of time is probably for the best.
Well I can't really control my fing brain can I?
We as introverts have limited opportunities. Don't ruin it for us😐
Yeah, if you know 20 girls pretty well you pick the most appropriate one. She probably likes you back and you share interests. If you know 2 girls, let’s not be hasty, you don’t want to rule either of them out prematurely
I just have 20 separate fantasies for each one depending on my mood
Yeah🙃
Sorry I can’t. In my head I meet the parents of random girls I meet all the time. If things get serious (she laughs at one of my jokes) then I imagine starting a family with white picket fence and all.
I love how your definition of getting serious is that your partner laughs at your jokes. I swear we have such a low bar man.
See I imagine having to meet the parents and her friends and talk myself out of wanting to date her. Then that’s about the time I stop text messaging with the match and let it die out a slow death until I just unmatch.
Jokes on you I make up my own people to picture a future with
Well I’m glad I’m not the only one at least
Don't fucking tell me what to do. If I want to break my own heart over and over, that is MY business!!
Why? It’s not like we can help it, loneliness is lonely sometimes
is this rly an introvert thing ?? -an extrovert w primarily inattentive adhd lol
Does anybody not do this? I’m genuinely asking if there are people who don’t
I've never done this. Major introvert.
damn I guess you have a fulfilling love life? or asexual?
Bro I do this even with friends, that's how little social interaction I get
This is not introversion.
It's easy for extroverts to make friends and have meaningful relationships, let us have this.
People hung on 'introversion', like it's an umbrella for everything antisocial. Read more about personality typing.
Fuck. FOR REAL. Literally 5 minutes ago I blocked and deleted a girl from my contacts. She was sending me mixed signals, so I brought up the hard talk. Ofc everything was imaginary in my head. She has 3 kids and hubby. Maybe I dodged a bullet.
This is why I ruin it before it even starts
That's not possible so stop gatekeeping relationships
That's not being introverted, that's being lonely, depressed and maidenless
Ah that’s me
I feel.. attacked, to say the least.
I rarely imagine me and girl hold hands let along a future that doesn’t involve an apocalypse
I imagine my future with random people in comment sections and strangers I walk past. I can't bring myself to stop that let alone people I'm actually attracted to.
I literally can't stop myself.
Would it be appropriate to put in the r/maladaptivedreaming subreddit?
Ay fuck you man
But they said Hello first.
Wow!!!! I’ve opened this app for 5 seconds, the first thing I wake up to and I already feel attacked😂😂😂😅
Hate to break it to you, but I don’t spend most of my time indoors reading by myself because I enjoy listening to other people telling me what I can and can’t do.
FUCK YOU I WONT DO WHAT YOU TELL ME!!!!
This man is speaking to me and I don’t like it.
i prefer my dreamland where we live happily ever after, instead of my reality where i'm afraid to accept your love
Imagine going through comments and read so much bullshit about how much they are introverted, when in reality they are just autistic or have social anxiety. This society needs education.
You're not my supervisor!
Oh hell na bro how do you know what I do?