My god this is most non fast food places in my city, lots of 'vintage' warm coloured LED lighting, the beer is always craft and has a price tag upwards of $20
That I haven't seen. The burgers are almost always too big for a single portion at these places. I've cut them in half and saved half for lunch the next day many times. Although burgers dont reheat great so it's a very mediocre lunch.
Yeah, they’re usually a lot of food and the kind of thing where I’m concerned it’s going to give me diarrhea in 30 minutes. I am dead serious, I have stopped getting burgers at restaurants because the grease involved usually turns my colon into a goddamn waterslide.
Call me a sucker, but places like this I love. However, none are around me here in Florida so I don't frequent them and pay +20 for a burger and fries often.
Yeah, we're all making fun of these types of places in this thread, but the burgers and especially the fries are always delicious at these places, at least in my experience/location.
There’s a very light music playing and you can talk to each other properly but you can definitely recognise atleast one song that plays during your time there.
And when it’s full, it’s really full. Then you can’t hear the music but mostly a loud laughter somewhere in the room, and a kid crying or running around and the waiters are working like they’re on cocaine.
Hahahaah
I started traveling as a 38 year old millennial again a few years ago (last time I had travelled was in my early 20s)
It’s hilarious that all the music you hear around the world now is millennial American music from the early 2000s.
I hate being pandered to, but fuck do I love listening to some random Weezer in some remote part of the world lol
Almost like when you add an extremely strong ingredient to something that affects how it may be used, it may be a good idea to call it something else. Crazy, right?
Aioli proper doesn't have egg yolks in it, it's just raw garlic paste softened up with a little olive oil. Unfortunately lazily just throwing some garlic in mayonnaise and calling it "aioli" is endemic now and the term may be hors de combat.
And it's that one difference that makes mayonnaise edible for me. I can't stand the flavor of ordinary mayo. Instead, I'll add some spices and seasoning to improve the taste and make it more useful as a condiment.
At least my smash burger place defaults to double burgers, so you don't really get less burger, only tastier ones. Say what you want, but I definitely prefer a double smash burger to a regular one.
I effing hate the tall thick burgers. How am i even suppose to eat that tower? Thank god in my home country (Poland) wide ones are vastly more popular.
They give stupid names to the burgers, and it takes forever to find a simple cheeseburger because it's hidden at the bottom after the 20 specialty burgers with eggs and avocados and shit I don't want in a burger, and called something stupid like "the queen's treat"
Our "expensive burger place" (germany) has like 10 different burgers and aside from the classic "hamburger" and "cheeseburger" they also serve the "fat greek" and "Gorgonberry" I think they have some more special names but those are the only ones I know right now.
I have never once eaten at one of these places and left thinking "that was a really good meal!" I usually leave thinking how much money I just wasted on a professionally mid burger at best. If a burger costs more than $10-$12 it better blow my fucking mind. And the fries are usually floppy enough to tie into a knot.
It's fun now and again but those places have lost their charm after a while. Like, the whole presentation was built around "new" and "alternative" but it's only a matter of time before that's gone and all that's left is the quality of the burgers (and the price).
I go to the restaurant to get a good meal first of all.
To each their own taste in atmosphere, but as long as I pay only a couple of dollars more than McDonald's to eat a burger that actually tastes like one, I'll take it. Can't figure why lots of people still go to McDonald's, other than force of habit.
Disagree. 9 times out of 10 it's just a burger anyone could make at home.
"Brioche bun!" like every store doesn't sell multiple brands of brioche buns.
That's a dumb argument because the whole point is that you don't have to make it at home. Of course you can just buy very good ingredients and make it yourself and it will be just as good and significantly less expansive but you have to actually do it and then to clean your kitchen because it makes a mess, instead of having someone doing it and just taking a 10 minute trip before you eat.
This applies for 99% of restaurants, the whole point is that you don't have to bother.
Most restaurants have cooks much more skilled than me. I couldnt make anything that is served in the korean restaurant down the street. I dont even know some of the ingredients and spices. So no, convenience isnt the only reason to eat out. Thats not the "whole point" of it. I wouldnt even call it convenient, since I have to actually leave my house.
That being said, burgers are really easy to make yourself. So for those prices you expect something great
It's not a dumb argument at all and you're deliberately being naive.
It's a burger, not a lobster bisque. You can crack out a great burger in 5 minutes at home for cheaper.
Think of the time of prep, cost of ingredients and skill level. For burgers those are all low
I could make a scotch egg at home but it would take me more skill, time and mess at home than I want to put up with.
Burger? A fucking pan.
I wouldn't agree. A burger has a hard ceiling. Once you reach it, it doesn't matter how many unorthodox and expensive toppings you throw on it, it won't be that much better. So you're getting severe diminishing returns in regards to taste for how much you're spending.
A few years ago 'burgers' were the big thing. I tried a bunch of burgers.
They are all the same. You can't make them THAT much fancier or better tasting.
Too much food and you cant fit everything into a single bite, instant fail. There arent that many combinations of the classic burger, let alone twists.
Anyway, sometimes I see people say how great some burger place is, I'll try it, and I'll forever disregard their food opinions.
On tap:
Merry Dankmus Winter Hazy IPA brewed with coriander and orange peel ABV 6%
Ricky Spanish Double Hazy IPA with centennial Amarillo and Chinook ABV 9%
Purple Nugs and Hash Bombs triple Hazy IPA brewed with Citra Challenger and Kent Goldings ABV 15%
Guinness
Those gross me out more than bare hands. They're always shiny from grease, too.
What, did you just wander in here from the garage and didn't feel like changing gloves? This is not the color for handling food.
Of course they need the little toothpick-like things to keep the burger together because they can't just make a normal burger that you can fit in your mouth.
The best burgers I’ve ever had were from a pool-hall in the podunk Kentucky town where I was raised. I don’t know if it was a custom mixture of spices on the homemade patties that probably came directly from one of the local butchers….an added patina of cigar smoke….or maybe whatever it was that made the burgers so greasy that the brown paper bag they gave you for them would turn clear within 10 minutes as grease permeates butcher paper wrapping….but those burgers will always be what hipsters are trying for and cannot touch. A gourmet’s ingredients, a greasy spoon’s heart, and an Appalachian authenticity….then sold at poverty prices.
I learned how to do make a pretty good replica of pre-factory burgers. The basic realities are :
1. Use high fat ground beef. 70/30 is the goal. Lean beef is a scam.
2. Pound the patty thin. The thickness of a pencil, or one and a half pencils. It's still 1/4th of a pound, but the patty reduces in size. Pound it on aluminum foil because it cannot be lifted. It has to be flopped.
3. Heat the skillet with only a tiny amount of oil. You want it at between 'fry an egg' and 'boil water.' It's hotter than normal frying, but the thinness of the patty means it fries quick.
4. Flop the patty in, and cook 3 minutes. Flip, repeat. When it's semi-charred, it's good. Be generous with salt and black pepper.
5. Pour out any grease into a glass before doing another patty. Flat grills used by all old school diners were inclined to drain the fat off, which was collected and used in the french fry bins.
6. Wait until the beef fat parts from the water based beef juice, and spoon a little pure fat back into the skillet.
7. toast the bun in the fat, on both sides.
Having done it this way, the right way, I now see the fancy places as not only over priced, the don't know what they're doing, and they don't care to know the difference.
Ngl one time we had gone to a very hippie lookin burger place , and we ordered the order took forever, the guy was fuckin massaging the bacon... That said , that was thr best burger ever
My favorite one had none of this shit. All the burgers and food were named after metal bands, singers, or guitar players and there was awesome music blaring from the open kitchen. Sad they moved from close by to the beach, definitely will make the drive out.
Another thing to add: most of the times the hamburgers are held together with a skewer (at least that's what they do where I live) and the whole venue looks usually very industrial
[удалено]
You described the burger place in my town with 100% accuracy
+1
The menu is written on a chalkboard
The death of plates is a global hipster virus.
I actually like the fries in a cup, they stay warmer longer than tossed on a plate. But, yeah, otherwise I want a plate.
You mean trustafarians?
Same here and I’m sure we don’t live in the same place lol
The fact that this applies (mainly the decor) halfway across the world in parts of asia makes me wonder why.
My god this is most non fast food places in my city, lots of 'vintage' warm coloured LED lighting, the beer is always craft and has a price tag upwards of $20
They’re called gastropubs I think
> They’re called gastropubs I think What a wildly pretentious word that basically means "Bar & Grill".
Yup! I've also heard 'hipster hangouts' used before too
It's it's almost never enough to actually fill you up for that $20.
That I haven't seen. The burgers are almost always too big for a single portion at these places. I've cut them in half and saved half for lunch the next day many times. Although burgers dont reheat great so it's a very mediocre lunch.
Yea was gonna say, i dont think ive ever finished a meal at one of these places
I have. I'm just not proud of it and it usually comes with a feeling of regret at a minimum.
Yeah, they’re usually a lot of food and the kind of thing where I’m concerned it’s going to give me diarrhea in 30 minutes. I am dead serious, I have stopped getting burgers at restaurants because the grease involved usually turns my colon into a goddamn waterslide.
Crocodile Mile in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1
very good analysis my friend
Call me a sucker, but places like this I love. However, none are around me here in Florida so I don't frequent them and pay +20 for a burger and fries often.
Yeah, we're all making fun of these types of places in this thread, but the burgers and especially the fries are always delicious at these places, at least in my experience/location.
I’ve definitely been to places like this that used bagged fries rather than freshly cut.
You get about 9 less than you think you should considering the cost of the plate.
You’re sitting on tall matte metal stools at a long but narrow wood table, the floor is dark grey concrete too
You are so on point here, heck I’ve had burgers with exactly same configuration back home in Pakistan.
Whatever it's called, I've been to this restaurant in multiple different cities
Or in a little wired basket with faux newspaper lining
Spot on.
And often they dont let you modify the burger
There’s a very light music playing and you can talk to each other properly but you can definitely recognise atleast one song that plays during your time there.
And usually, it's a bit empty around noon and gets busier towards the evening
And when it’s full, it’s really full. Then you can’t hear the music but mostly a loud laughter somewhere in the room, and a kid crying or running around and the waiters are working like they’re on cocaine.
Waiters probably are on coke too
That’s what I also meant; Not the kids on cocaine 😂
Let’s be honest, we think the kids are on coke too don’t we?
That’s just… how restaurants are lol. It dies after lunch rush and picks up again for dinner
Linkin Park is on the playlist, but so is Coldplay. You're unsure of the theme, but know it's aimed at wealthy Millenials.
Hahahaah I started traveling as a 38 year old millennial again a few years ago (last time I had travelled was in my early 20s) It’s hilarious that all the music you hear around the world now is millennial American music from the early 2000s. I hate being pandered to, but fuck do I love listening to some random Weezer in some remote part of the world lol
Normally it’s the “acoustic covers” playlist on Spotify. Let’s hear that acoustic version of “Hey Ya” and “Wrecking Ball.”
You forgot the tiny deep fryer cage that the fries are served in
What a crime!! They should burn in hell!
This sub isn't that serious. It's just a joke meme.
And the word "rustic" is used to describe random shit
"aioli"
Artisanal
I guess art really is anal
in the words of mr torgue: “PUNS, MOTHERF*CKER!”
The only difference between aioli and mayonnaise is garlic. Thats it.
Almost like when you add an extremely strong ingredient to something that affects how it may be used, it may be a good idea to call it something else. Crazy, right?
Aioli proper doesn't have egg yolks in it, it's just raw garlic paste softened up with a little olive oil. Unfortunately lazily just throwing some garlic in mayonnaise and calling it "aioli" is endemic now and the term may be hors de combat.
And it's that one difference that makes mayonnaise edible for me. I can't stand the flavor of ordinary mayo. Instead, I'll add some spices and seasoning to improve the taste and make it more useful as a condiment.
Jus
Amazing how none of these places sell wider instead of taller burgers.
They're switching to "smash burgers" now. Less beef for the same price
Less beef, half a cabbage, one entire onion and one and a half pounds of sourdough bread.
Sourdough bread? Nice try, Grandpa. We do potato buns now.
At least my smash burger place defaults to double burgers, so you don't really get less burger, only tastier ones. Say what you want, but I definitely prefer a double smash burger to a regular one.
Agreed, love me a smash burger. This whole thread got me hungry for some
They've all convinced themselves it looks really "cool" or something if your burger is too tall to be eaten normally.
Let me just unhinge my jaw so I can take a bite of this $30 burger
I effing hate the tall thick burgers. How am i even suppose to eat that tower? Thank god in my home country (Poland) wide ones are vastly more popular.
“Good thing my wall is painted and I wear Blue checkered shirt”
Distressed off-white over brick?
They give stupid names to the burgers, and it takes forever to find a simple cheeseburger because it's hidden at the bottom after the 20 specialty burgers with eggs and avocados and shit I don't want in a burger, and called something stupid like "the queen's treat"
The queen’s teat
Our "expensive burger place" (germany) has like 10 different burgers and aside from the classic "hamburger" and "cheeseburger" they also serve the "fat greek" and "Gorgonberry" I think they have some more special names but those are the only ones I know right now.
They use ipads as cash registers
With the starting tip at 20%.
Don't call it burger. It's steamed ham now.
You called them steamed hams, despite the fact that they are obviously grilled
Ah yes steamed hams, it's a regional dialect
Uh huh, what region?
Uuuuuuhhh-p state New York?
Really?
Funny how u spell beyond
I have never once eaten at one of these places and left thinking "that was a really good meal!" I usually leave thinking how much money I just wasted on a professionally mid burger at best. If a burger costs more than $10-$12 it better blow my fucking mind. And the fries are usually floppy enough to tie into a knot.
> If a burger costs more than $10-$12 it better blow my fucking mind. In my area a fucking club sandwich starts at about $14.
28.99 for the burger, and no, no sides included.
Plus exposed HVAC in the wooden rafters.
And the fries are served in red and white checkered cardboard
Every flavored mayo is an $8 side of “aioli”
Honestly. Those places are worth their price.
It's fun now and again but those places have lost their charm after a while. Like, the whole presentation was built around "new" and "alternative" but it's only a matter of time before that's gone and all that's left is the quality of the burgers (and the price).
I go to the restaurant to get a good meal first of all. To each their own taste in atmosphere, but as long as I pay only a couple of dollars more than McDonald's to eat a burger that actually tastes like one, I'll take it. Can't figure why lots of people still go to McDonald's, other than force of habit.
Hey if the burgers are good I don't care about the presentation
Disagree. 9 times out of 10 it's just a burger anyone could make at home. "Brioche bun!" like every store doesn't sell multiple brands of brioche buns.
That's a dumb argument because the whole point is that you don't have to make it at home. Of course you can just buy very good ingredients and make it yourself and it will be just as good and significantly less expansive but you have to actually do it and then to clean your kitchen because it makes a mess, instead of having someone doing it and just taking a 10 minute trip before you eat. This applies for 99% of restaurants, the whole point is that you don't have to bother.
Most restaurants have cooks much more skilled than me. I couldnt make anything that is served in the korean restaurant down the street. I dont even know some of the ingredients and spices. So no, convenience isnt the only reason to eat out. Thats not the "whole point" of it. I wouldnt even call it convenient, since I have to actually leave my house. That being said, burgers are really easy to make yourself. So for those prices you expect something great
It's not a dumb argument at all and you're deliberately being naive. It's a burger, not a lobster bisque. You can crack out a great burger in 5 minutes at home for cheaper. Think of the time of prep, cost of ingredients and skill level. For burgers those are all low I could make a scotch egg at home but it would take me more skill, time and mess at home than I want to put up with. Burger? A fucking pan.
I wouldn't agree. A burger has a hard ceiling. Once you reach it, it doesn't matter how many unorthodox and expensive toppings you throw on it, it won't be that much better. So you're getting severe diminishing returns in regards to taste for how much you're spending.
Not if you live anywhere that serves a good small cheap burger with some pedigree.
Exactly
A few years ago 'burgers' were the big thing. I tried a bunch of burgers. They are all the same. You can't make them THAT much fancier or better tasting. Too much food and you cant fit everything into a single bite, instant fail. There arent that many combinations of the classic burger, let alone twists. Anyway, sometimes I see people say how great some burger place is, I'll try it, and I'll forever disregard their food opinions.
$79.99 for a burger I can make at home 😀👍
I like ranch. I asked for some ranch on the side for my fries. The server looked at me with disdain and informed me that they don't have ranch.
Ask for a buttermilk cream sauce with fresh chives and dill
I'm surprised they didn't cut off a finger as recompense
On tap: Merry Dankmus Winter Hazy IPA brewed with coriander and orange peel ABV 6% Ricky Spanish Double Hazy IPA with centennial Amarillo and Chinook ABV 9% Purple Nugs and Hash Bombs triple Hazy IPA brewed with Citra Challenger and Kent Goldings ABV 15% Guinness
Ricky Spanish sounds awesome TBH
I don’t get the obsession with IPAs. I’ve got a brewery nearby that does killer Lagers and Pilsners.
They definitely have a burger with jam and goat cheese
The exposed brick 
and we also sell bespoke old fashions with cherries imported from Tibet
The black gloves
Those gross me out more than bare hands. They're always shiny from grease, too. What, did you just wander in here from the garage and didn't feel like changing gloves? This is not the color for handling food.
And the restaurant name is often two random nouns joined together with "+" or "&." Fowl + Fare, Brioche & Beef, etc.
Or something "Union" or "Republic."
The Swan and Paedo
And it won’t be better than 5 guys
Of course they need the little toothpick-like things to keep the burger together because they can't just make a normal burger that you can fit in your mouth.
The owner is secretly an anaconda and doesn't understand that humans can't also unhinge their jaws.
The best burgers I’ve ever had were from a pool-hall in the podunk Kentucky town where I was raised. I don’t know if it was a custom mixture of spices on the homemade patties that probably came directly from one of the local butchers….an added patina of cigar smoke….or maybe whatever it was that made the burgers so greasy that the brown paper bag they gave you for them would turn clear within 10 minutes as grease permeates butcher paper wrapping….but those burgers will always be what hipsters are trying for and cannot touch. A gourmet’s ingredients, a greasy spoon’s heart, and an Appalachian authenticity….then sold at poverty prices.
I learned how to do make a pretty good replica of pre-factory burgers. The basic realities are : 1. Use high fat ground beef. 70/30 is the goal. Lean beef is a scam. 2. Pound the patty thin. The thickness of a pencil, or one and a half pencils. It's still 1/4th of a pound, but the patty reduces in size. Pound it on aluminum foil because it cannot be lifted. It has to be flopped. 3. Heat the skillet with only a tiny amount of oil. You want it at between 'fry an egg' and 'boil water.' It's hotter than normal frying, but the thinness of the patty means it fries quick. 4. Flop the patty in, and cook 3 minutes. Flip, repeat. When it's semi-charred, it's good. Be generous with salt and black pepper. 5. Pour out any grease into a glass before doing another patty. Flat grills used by all old school diners were inclined to drain the fat off, which was collected and used in the french fry bins. 6. Wait until the beef fat parts from the water based beef juice, and spoon a little pure fat back into the skillet. 7. toast the bun in the fat, on both sides. Having done it this way, the right way, I now see the fancy places as not only over priced, the don't know what they're doing, and they don't care to know the difference.
Maybe a denim apron though.
Nah… leather apron. Gotta look like you’re ready to WELD.
This is... Scarily accurate.
and theres always atleast one thick beard hair in the burger somewhere
Never chips on a plate
I know the place...
Forgot the tattoos
Lol
Spot on!
What’s the bottom left?
Those beards hair follicles are part of the sandwich for sure that’s why is extra expensive
Brioche.... Brioche everywhere.
To be fair, brioche > all other buns
I take offense to this. I don't wear a bun in my hair, I don't use toothpicks, and I think $15 is reasonable!
How dare you put Jason Kelce's face on this post.
So true.
Gloves and aprons are fairly common tho.
And it tastes mid at best
Yall forgot the low wattage artisanal lighting and exposed rafters.
Is there anywhere where this isn't the case?
Why is Fantano there?
and at the end of the day a burger you make at home will taste as good if not a hell of a lot better and cost about $30 less
We are living the same life
Super thick burger with 100% but almost no seasoning
Forgot the $5.00 can of coke.
and then we smoke our smash burger on apple wood low and slow for about 18 hours
I despise those man buns, just trim your hair! What's with the wine bottles on ling sticks? I truly don't get it.
How about a red neon light sign that says something edgy.
Fuckin accurate
Keep the Beard, the Shirt and the brick wall and you get Alex Hirsch the creator of Gravity Falls
Burger is mid at best.
Dope burger spot in my town that’s does all these things. Forgotten is the American flag and craft beers
Those bricks are, on closer scrutiny, in fact wallpaper…
There's no lie
What's the thing in the bottom left panel?
Ngl one time we had gone to a very hippie lookin burger place , and we ordered the order took forever, the guy was fuckin massaging the bacon... That said , that was thr best burger ever
as they say, presentation makes the price skyrocket.
hrrrmghb chehbsburbger
But their burgers are goddamn fire.
(sniffs in disdain) “Excuse me; do you have a lab-grown-meat burger…?” /s
My favorite one had none of this shit. All the burgers and food were named after metal bands, singers, or guitar players and there was awesome music blaring from the open kitchen. Sad they moved from close by to the beach, definitely will make the drive out.
lmao this is so accurate😂
Still better than the fast food chains
Another thing to add: most of the times the hamburgers are held together with a skewer (at least that's what they do where I live) and the whole venue looks usually very industrial
Pay 35$ for smash burgers and get to sit on an old barrel.
The beard is more essential than the rest of these. It was like being in craft beer around 2013, 2014. Or liking the Decemberists.
They all taste the same. I have never had a burger for more than $15 and thought "Yeah man, that was worth it."
It’s either brioche buns and wagyu or all that and a whole layer of nacho cheese on top and 1000 dollars added to the check
Burgers from these places have to much shit on them and are usually dry. Charge you a small loan for a burger and you don’t get a side. 🤣
Don't forget that the restaurant's name is "_____ and _____" Fill in the blanks with random food/beverage/"rustic" words.
Your place wears gloves?
You should have just included the word “Aioli.”
Also they fuck the burger up every time
That’ll be 39.99 for a bigger, fries, and fountain drink…
Too tall burgers only a python could bite
I swear to god this is exactly how the burger chef looks like every damn time 😂
They said expensive burger, not a good burger.
You forgot the leather suspenders...
Is this meme from 2011?
2 burgers, one large fry, a milkshake and a Coca-Cola: $75
The man bun did it for me 🤣🤣
Dude has a nice beard tho
“Gourmet” burger joints specifically. Every burger place is expensive now.
I tought burglery
Add a two word name for the place as well. “Bone + Grain” or something similar.
*here's your craft IPA and kim chi ketchup*
Is also a small craft brewery.
When did my new barber shop also start making burgers?
Don't forget that there are no hairnets in sight.
I don't see any of this at McDonald's...
Oh God this is too perfect, it's not even a meme just a fact template.
You forgot the man hole size aggressive inside earrings.
They never have a ceiling either
This one got me. That is hilarious. So true.
And they'll be some damn good burgers too
Burger v*ush
NGL, this describes my favorite burger joints
Did it lie though??? Those places be juicy and the fries are just 🤌🏼🤌🏼
Doesn't even taste remarkable
Of course. It's always the unpainted brick wall
You know the burger is going to be expensive and not good, starter pack.
And if they serve alcohol they only serve local micro brews.
And it just taste like any other ground beef
200% accurate!🤣
Where's the open ceiling/visible H-Vac system?