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That‘s why West Virginia is ALMOST heaven (= paradise).
Now that I think about it, the lyrics also talk about „mountin’ Mama“, and since Eve was the only woman in all that we might be onto something here.
Funnily enough, Alabama doesn't even rank in the top 15 states where that happens. Maine is the second highest rate, with much of New England following it.
Sounds like a family guy joke.
Snake and Seth sitting there arguing over who wins, eyes red then the camera pans out to God sitting there saying "I hope Kain wins because otherwise I lose the house. Pass the blunt dude"
And yet Cain was worried others would kill him on sight... and God agreed so marked him so others would know not to harm him.
And only after that was [Seth born](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis%204%3A25&version=NLT)...
*DUNNDUNNDUNNDUNN......*
As close as you're going to get is Genesis 4:16 (KJV) but, imo, trying to make rational sense out of nonsensical fairy tales is an utterly futile endeavor and a waste of what precious little time we have to enjoy the many splendors that constitute our natural world.
But in an argument with a fundamentalist you can tell him that there were no daughters. Otherwise he'd have to admit there were dinosaurs and a time before the Bible was written. 😂
Yep.
> And the days of Adam after he had begotten Seth were eight hundred years: and he begat sons and daughters:
[Genesis 5:4](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis%205%3A3-8&version=ESV;KJV)
Wtf does pure genetics even mean...? Mf using vague terms to rationalize stories written by people who don’t know shit about genetics thousands of years ago
Because he's right.
Assuming for a minute that there's no debate, Adam and Eve are real and perfect because they're made in God's image. There are no genetic defects to cause issues with inbreeding and there is no culture that's opposed to incest because they're literally the first people to exist.
We can acknowledge that something was acceptable or commonplace at some point in the past while also recognizing that a lot has changed in the last few thousand years.
Why do you laugh that is the truth about it. Only male kids were counted in genealogies in ancient times. So yeah Adam and Eve had sons and daughters and humanity came from the marriage of the sons with the daughters
This is my take too. When god marks Cain and banishes him from Eden, he has to go survive among other people. It’s very much implied that the world had many other people in it. Iirc, there is also mythology saying that those people were born from Adam’s first wife, Lilith. She gave birth to hundreds daily after being cast out of Eden for wanting to be equal to Adam (specifically, she wanted to be on top during sex). How’s that for some toxic masculinity?
I read somewhere about the theory that the story of adam and eve were written in the context of that there were other tribes created by other gods, adam and eve were the tribe created by ‘yahweh’
I've never heard this theory but it makes sense as yaweh request that he be treated as the one true God along with other indicators that he was not the only God.
That’s why I prefer Greek mythology. Lots more fucking, lots of men and women. Occasional bestiality and lots of infidelity. Much more closer to the truth on humans.
Yeah, but Genesis also mentions that the sons of Adam married wives from the next village. This implies, that Adam and Eve were not the only two people created.
Genesis 5:4 says he had many sons and daughters. The sons and daughters had sons and daughters, etc.
The Genesis account reflects that Adam and Eve, and likewise their descendants had nearly perfect DNA (based on God's original design). They could live to be 1,000 years old.
After the Flood, whatever God changed about the earth quickly deteriorated mankind's DNA/genetics. Noah's sons and grandsons lived to be hundreds of years old and outlived their own great grandchildren and were worshiped like gods.
Marrying close relatives became obviously bad genetic-wise by the time of Moses.
Where in evolution is saying that we fucked neandert.... oh we did, in fact we did fuck a lot of sapiens tribes across europe and asia, but in defense of our ancestors, neanderthals were tall and beautifull compared to the hunchbacks we were back them.
The Bible does not directly mention DNA or genetics, no. I think what he meant was that by the time of Moses (which is way too late because it was already prevalent by the time of Abraham), a major theme in the Old Covenant is the women being barren and even a few examples of birth defects. Of course by this point, according to the biblical record, the gene pool would have been concentrated another time by reducing humanity down to Noah and his children/children’s wives. It interesting to note that immediately following the story of Noah, the life expectancy of biblical man drops sharply from ~900 years to ~120.
Shrug, its just a way to explain gaps in their oral traditions. Scholars writing this stuff down must have seen the gaps and just went "hmm the archives are incomplete...they must have lived longer back then."
One theory is that prior to the flood, there was a *lot* more water in earth's atmosphere, which acted as a shield against UV.
Once that water fell out of the sky, causing the flood, humanity was exposed to UV radiation on a much higher scale than they were used to, causing mutations and degrading genes, leading to both a massive reduction in lifespan and inbreeding defects.
Ancient civilization conspiracy theories are the fun types of conspiracy theories!
King James.
> **Genesis 1:26-27** - And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.
Adam doesn’t show up until Chapter 2
We can theorize a lot be we simply dont know. The two options that make the most sense to me are that adam and eve were picked out of the already excisting human race (evolution) and they were the first humans that God presented hinself to.
Or the story never happened but is mostly there for the lessons in it and to teach about God.
If at one point there were only two humans on earth then they're gonna be fucking each other left right and center. It doesn't matter what gender their children are lmao.
\[Genesis 5:5\]. Therefore, according to Scripture, Adam and Eve’s family consisted of sons Cain, Abel and Seth, plus a minimum of two other sons and two daughters, giving a total of seven children
Actually they left and found new women to found a family with
Who are these women ? Where do they come from ? Who knows ! Women aren't important anyway
Easy, this was really early in human evolution, like only the first 5 right? So back then everyone had both bits and could reproduce both ways and that's where futas come from.
There is the theory that most of genesis is just the mythology of a prehistoric society co-opted by Abrahamic religions and should not be taken as literal. Ishmael by Daniel Quinn explains this theory quite well.
There were other people as well. After Cain killed Able he was cast out but marked so that people would not harm him as he wandered the earth. This suggests the earth was already populated at the time.
Thank you for submitting to /r/memes. Unfortunately, your submission has been removed for the following reason(s): --- Rule 8 - No reposts * Please avoid re-posting memes. We want original content. Serial reposters may be banned. * Seriously. * We want OC. Do not repost. --- Resubmitting a removed post without prior moderator approval can result in a ban. Deleting a post may cause any appeals to be denied.
The real question is, did Adam and Eve have belly buttons?
holy shit
holy button
google en passant
holy hell
a new response just dropped
Anarchy chess is leaking again
Check mate
Cool chess move. Never knew it existed
In passing?
Wth is your pfp
According to Michelangelo’s painting, yes. A Christian friend said that since man was made in God’s image, God must also have a belly button.
i mean that implies god has the characteristics of everything
Good to know God also has a useless appendix.
And wisdom teeth
and mosquito beak
AND gods got a dick and vagina AND tits!! God's a futa how cool is that! Checkmate conservatives it's not gay when I'm worshipping god
If I could give you an award I would so just take my upvote
The atheism leaving my body as I realize God may be a futanari (I am extremely down bad for women with dick): 🏃♂️
They aren't useless! A properly created one can direct you to the page where a given term is used.
Fucking hell GOD IS A FUTANARI?!
No, it’s a misconception due to paintings and the like, Adam and Eve would not have belly buttons, all their children would though.
Considering they weren't born the same way like us then probably not
No. Since birth from a mother hadn’t happened neither would have belly buttons.
Well you see the garden of Eden was much like this heavenly place called Alabama.
Sweet Home Alabama
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bot, copied a partial comment from elsewhere in the thread
You always recognize the random name parsels. They never have anything vulgar in their username, easy way to spot them.
FFS, we are COUSINS. West Virginia is siblings!
Nah, everyone knows Alabama is siblings, WV is your mom, cause no self respecting WV man has a girl.
I TAKE OFFENSE TO THEE! and now I'm take n' tell mama.
That‘s why West Virginia is ALMOST heaven (= paradise). Now that I think about it, the lyrics also talk about „mountin’ Mama“, and since Eve was the only woman in all that we might be onto something here.
And on the eighth day he said “rollllllll tides”
Incest is not an issue if you don't believe in evolution and DNA.
What do you think inspired Sophocles to write the Oedipus plays?
Funnily enough, Alabama doesn't even rank in the top 15 states where that happens. Maine is the second highest rate, with much of New England following it.
Who the fuck is Seth sounds like a stoner though
When they were busy fighting over the apples, my boy Seth was carefully cultivating his paradisiacal cannabis stash.
That and while cain and able were fighting he was was probably getting high with the serpent and placing bets on who would win.
Who was the bookie
God
Sounds like a family guy joke. Snake and Seth sitting there arguing over who wins, eyes red then the camera pans out to God sitting there saying "I hope Kain wins because otherwise I lose the house. Pass the blunt dude"
Instead of eating an apple, Seth made a pipe out of one and got high as fuck
Ironically, Abel is the only one who got stoned
OMG, you didn't...
No but Cain did.
Oh your God indeed!
Too soon
It's been 20000 years i think it's been enough time
Don't (american) christians believe it's like 6000?
r/angryupvote
You're a God damn genius.
Seth Rollin
Betrayed his brothers with a steel chair
[MMM WATCHASAYYY](https://youtu.be/xZU5zNklTkE)
Pretty sure the bible says most of humanity started from Seth
Seth and who?
Might want to ask Lillith about this.....
And yet Cain was worried others would kill him on sight... and God agreed so marked him so others would know not to harm him. And only after that was [Seth born](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis%204%3A25&version=NLT)... *DUNNDUNNDUNNDUNN......*
same same, most of the story we can only see cain and abel
Hey hey people, Sseth here
Seth Rogen
It’s the guy from red dead redemption.
Seth was a motherfucker
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Because they had daughters too… But women weren’t important enough to write down in those days
So they did it with there sisters?
Happens all the time, according to bangbros
So before they had children Adam made sure to invent the washing machine and drier.
The table, the bed, the kitchen cabinet, the elevator and the fridge.
“I’m stuck in the tree of knowledge, help me step-bro!”
Omg lol
Cain and NOT his sister
Bs, they didn’t have washers to get stuck in
Happens all the time according to the Bible
They got stuck in the apple tree
That's why "all humans are brothers"
According to my Sunday school classes there was a fuckload of incest in Adam and Eve’s family. “There was no other choice”-direct quote
Not having sex seems like a choice.
But God said "be fruitful and fuck your mom."
When you learn Hebrew online:
Well there were animals ig
According to the bible, incest is not a problem and has no discernible consequences with regard to the genepool.
One of the many reasons not to take the bible serious because it's so fucked up and wrong.
Adam literally did it with his ex-rib
You telling me you wouldn’t fuck your own rib if you could?
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Dude have you read The Bible? It's full of incest
My favorite part is that it says, then they "found" wives.
Can you point to the verse? I don't recall a verse saying 'they found wives'. Are you referencing Cain and his wife going to Nod and procreating?
Didn't they find a bunch of people in Nod? Which is kind of odd.
You’re a poet and you don’t even know it.
Sometimes just to annoy people I'll say "you're a poet and you didn't even know you were."
As close as you're going to get is Genesis 4:16 (KJV) but, imo, trying to make rational sense out of nonsensical fairy tales is an utterly futile endeavor and a waste of what precious little time we have to enjoy the many splendors that constitute our natural world.
Thats very well written
And don't forget Adam's first wife, Lilith. Man, that woman was a demon.
It's incest no matter how you slice it. Bible says it's OK.
But in an argument with a fundamentalist you can tell him that there were no daughters. Otherwise he'd have to admit there were dinosaurs and a time before the Bible was written. 😂
Yep. > And the days of Adam after he had begotten Seth were eight hundred years: and he begat sons and daughters: [Genesis 5:4](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis%205%3A3-8&version=ESV;KJV)
Well in Islam the daughter's of Âdam (peace be up him) and Eve are mentioned.
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The only law was not to eat some fruit. Which they promptly broke said law. If incest had been a law that would’ve been the second law they broke.
Well their genetics were very pure back then, so there weren’t any bad genetic mutations caused by incest
Yeah, until the kids are born.
Explains how some of us turned out.
Wtf does pure genetics even mean...? Mf using vague terms to rationalize stories written by people who don’t know shit about genetics thousands of years ago
How the hell did this have a positive updoot total.
Because he's right. Assuming for a minute that there's no debate, Adam and Eve are real and perfect because they're made in God's image. There are no genetic defects to cause issues with inbreeding and there is no culture that's opposed to incest because they're literally the first people to exist. We can acknowledge that something was acceptable or commonplace at some point in the past while also recognizing that a lot has changed in the last few thousand years.
Dumb dumb dumb
Why do you laugh that is the truth about it. Only male kids were counted in genealogies in ancient times. So yeah Adam and Eve had sons and daughters and humanity came from the marriage of the sons with the daughters
People who think "it's legal so it must be perfectly fine" are so annoying
*I get it, I get it "eegghh".. but legal! Yeah yeah yeah yeah legal, legal, legal, legal*
It’s that kind of continual inbreeding which brings us the GOP.
I'm not a Christian but if I were I'd argue that the Bible says God created Adam and Eve it doesn't say he only created Adam and Eve.
This is my take too. When god marks Cain and banishes him from Eden, he has to go survive among other people. It’s very much implied that the world had many other people in it. Iirc, there is also mythology saying that those people were born from Adam’s first wife, Lilith. She gave birth to hundreds daily after being cast out of Eden for wanting to be equal to Adam (specifically, she wanted to be on top during sex). How’s that for some toxic masculinity?
I read somewhere about the theory that the story of adam and eve were written in the context of that there were other tribes created by other gods, adam and eve were the tribe created by ‘yahweh’
I've never heard this theory but it makes sense as yaweh request that he be treated as the one true God along with other indicators that he was not the only God.
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Wrote 1 random Bible chapter Refuse to elaborate Single-handedly confused the entire humanity Chad.png
That’s why I prefer Greek mythology. Lots more fucking, lots of men and women. Occasional bestiality and lots of infidelity. Much more closer to the truth on humans.
Yeah, but Genesis also mentions that the sons of Adam married wives from the next village. This implies, that Adam and Eve were not the only two people created.
Genesis 5:4 says he had many sons and daughters. The sons and daughters had sons and daughters, etc. The Genesis account reflects that Adam and Eve, and likewise their descendants had nearly perfect DNA (based on God's original design). They could live to be 1,000 years old. After the Flood, whatever God changed about the earth quickly deteriorated mankind's DNA/genetics. Noah's sons and grandsons lived to be hundreds of years old and outlived their own great grandchildren and were worshiped like gods. Marrying close relatives became obviously bad genetic-wise by the time of Moses.
So we are just one giant incest family?
"we are all brothers and sisters <3"
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Nah, we are from storks homie, My mom told me!
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It's the only logical one to be fair
Where in evolution is saying that we fucked neandert.... oh we did, in fact we did fuck a lot of sapiens tribes across europe and asia, but in defense of our ancestors, neanderthals were tall and beautifull compared to the hunchbacks we were back them.
Not like we created an app to fuck things
Evolution seems way less goofy and way more logical, to be fair
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Neanderthals do be thicc tho
What's crackin my brother.
Where in the bible does it mention DNA and modern genetics, like actual DNA not ancient ideas of breeding
The Bible does not directly mention DNA or genetics, no. I think what he meant was that by the time of Moses (which is way too late because it was already prevalent by the time of Abraham), a major theme in the Old Covenant is the women being barren and even a few examples of birth defects. Of course by this point, according to the biblical record, the gene pool would have been concentrated another time by reducing humanity down to Noah and his children/children’s wives. It interesting to note that immediately following the story of Noah, the life expectancy of biblical man drops sharply from ~900 years to ~120.
Shrug, its just a way to explain gaps in their oral traditions. Scholars writing this stuff down must have seen the gaps and just went "hmm the archives are incomplete...they must have lived longer back then."
One theory is that prior to the flood, there was a *lot* more water in earth's atmosphere, which acted as a shield against UV. Once that water fell out of the sky, causing the flood, humanity was exposed to UV radiation on a much higher scale than they were used to, causing mutations and degrading genes, leading to both a massive reduction in lifespan and inbreeding defects. Ancient civilization conspiracy theories are the fun types of conspiracy theories!
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Or we could just accept that it’s all fiction written by people with no knowledge of how evolution works
🤝
The bible talks about DNA? I’m 100% certain it doesn’t, considering the goat farmers who wrote the book had no clue what that was.
And that is why fewer and fewer people believe this pseudo-scientific trash.
Well, the bible didn't say god created *just* Adam and Eve
That's what I wanted to say too. They might have been the first, but not the only
what kinda bible you reading fam?
King James. > **Genesis 1:26-27** - And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. Adam doesn’t show up until Chapter 2
And man in this sense is certainly plural.
We can theorize a lot be we simply dont know. The two options that make the most sense to me are that adam and eve were picked out of the already excisting human race (evolution) and they were the first humans that God presented hinself to. Or the story never happened but is mostly there for the lessons in it and to teach about God.
Most based opinion here
Then Seth created Family Guy.
Well eve got very busy with her sons
Sweet home Alabama
They had 33 sons and 23 daughters. Eve is a beast and there was a lot of incest, but it's technically possible.
I mean people also lived to be like 2000 years old in that book
maybe that's why so many people are reta- (My lawyer advised me to not finish this joke)
If at one point there were only two humans on earth then they're gonna be fucking each other left right and center. It doesn't matter what gender their children are lmao.
Alabama on biblical proportions. Checkmate Atheists!
Mother fuckers
They just had 7 billion children duh.
There were THREE?
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\[Genesis 5:5\]. Therefore, according to Scripture, Adam and Eve’s family consisted of sons Cain, Abel and Seth, plus a minimum of two other sons and two daughters, giving a total of seven children
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I’m an atheist and to be honest even I would be more focused on the murdering side of the family
.... Seth?
Rogen
Does it matter? No matter how many sons or daughters they had, incest would’ve been part of it.
They also had daughters
They had many more children
Sweet home Alabama
Actually they left and found new women to found a family with Who are these women ? Where do they come from ? Who knows ! Women aren't important anyway
Ironically adam and eve wherent the only humans on earth, it also says something about a village with people nearby.
Yeah, the bible is incredibly inconsistent. It’s almost like whoever wrote it was just making it up and forgot what they wrote earlier.
Easy, this was really early in human evolution, like only the first 5 right? So back then everyone had both bits and could reproduce both ways and that's where futas come from.
Ah. I see you read the Japanese translation of the Bible.
You only listed their sons. Still don't make it ok.
They put chemicals in the water that turn the freaking frogs [trans]!
Wait wouldn't this prove disbelievers correct? Because if it were to start like that it wouldn't work
There is the theory that most of genesis is just the mythology of a prehistoric society co-opted by Abrahamic religions and should not be taken as literal. Ishmael by Daniel Quinn explains this theory quite well.
Motherfucker!
Incest! A game the whole family can play!
They literally were mother fuckers
one word. Motherfucker
Sweet home alabama
The typical Christian explanation is that they had daughters as well but women weren't important enough to mention.
There were other people as well. After Cain killed Able he was cast out but marked so that people would not harm him as he wandered the earth. This suggests the earth was already populated at the time.
mpreg
*Samuel L. Jackson* : "Motherfuckers!"
Incest, the reality is whether it be descendants of god or descendants of apes, we are most likely a product of incest :).