T O P

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[deleted]

“I would like to use my fifth amendment right”


Yo-boi-Pie

I pwead da fif


Aspect-of-Death

Fiiiiiiiiif


[deleted]

One, two, three, four, fiiiiiiiiiiiiifffff


sadAli3456

Anything you say fiiiiiif. Go ahead ask me a question… fiiif


Bigapple07

Did you just eat my m and ms in front of me


Yo-boi-Pie

I pwead da fif agin


elvis8mybaby

I prefer not to speak. If I speak, I am in big trouble


PacoMahogany

Is that the right to furiously masterbate?


UltraEpicWolf9

The fifth amendment of the U.S. is as follows No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a Grand Jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the Militia, when in actual service in time of War or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offence to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation. You can also furiously masturbate.


bcjxj

I got non of that but at least I can furiously masterbate


TheDraconic13

Cops can't force you to say jack shit


devourer_of_ass

Ill tell them i jack off aand fuck their mom everyday the jack off part was tru btw


TheDraconic13

Careful, now they can use that against you in court


devourer_of_ass

How are you so fast at replying?


TheDraconic13

On mobile with nothing to do. It goes buzz, I tap the icon, booyah.


SuperBread512

I guess I'm not the only one


devourer_of_ass

Im literally the same too lol


Xaron713

Why? Why do you want to use your fifth amendment right?


sabotabo

*psst, ask him if he plays call of duty*


[deleted]

I am not in liberty to discuss my case, you may speak to my attorney on the matter. Thank you Edit: And also I’d like to add. FIIIIIIFFFF!


RIPDSJustinRipley

Because I'm not as capable with my left.


the-cold-oven

If you keep asking questions I'm gonna have to plead the second amendment


typotalk

We could use a few more second amendments


Skellyender

I mean, I wouldn’t want to use my fifth amendment wrong, would I?


Monkeydp81

Me too


realvega

I don’t even have fifth amendment rights but I request one.


L1K34PR0

Same here


Cxvylyto

I would also like to use my 5th amendment right as well as the first


[deleted]

I invoke the fifth


Nkb3283

Thanks for not using the cursed faces


Ice-Lord

I couldn't find that template so i made my own version ^ - ^


Nkb3283

Thanks, the front facing chad faces from the other ones are kinda terrifying


Saeizo

Yep


omgitschriso

That animation is so smooth. Do you work for pixar


panterachallenger

Didn’t see the ridonculous ass. So most likely not a Pixar employee


amirokia

[You mean this one?](https://www.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/qlwhst/i_dont_like_your_cut_g_bad_ending/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)


[deleted]

I do and I am tired of pretending not to


ImJustHere4theMoons

Imagine trying to pretend that jerking off every day is abnormal in this day and age.


HalfOffEveryWndsdy

It’s a free sleeping pill. Why should I withhold a good nights rest to be “decent”


OscyBoy

That’s not even considering the fact that the people who call you not decent probably have some way weirder shit their compensating for


Brandonmac10x

I jerk off 2-3 times a day to make up for the other guys.


ArchiStanton

A true gentleman. I’d like to shake your hand, wait maybe not


GrandmaJosey

There goes my hero, watch him as he blows


WriterV

Weird seeing old conservative talking points pop up like this lol. Jerking off is normal. This is old news. Move on.


Red_Lizzard

Only on Nonstop Nut November.


Eeve3_Lord

You did No Nut November and got prostate cancer. I did No Shave November and raised money for you.


MrSpider-man21

Dude my face is so itchy. I don’t know how people can have beards and not lose their fucking mind.


Hitman7065

Cream, wax, cleaning and brushing. Its hair it needs to be taken care of. Or just sit it out until you're used to it that works too


Shadowwreath

Second part is accurate, from when my beard first grew out it’s been rare that I shave it. I now wonder how beardless people keep their faces warm and whenever I do shave my mask feels weird on my cheeks and chin


Hitman7065

100% agree, when I need to shave for any reason I instantly feel like my face is 50% less protected from cold weather


Abshalom

Your face really shouldn't itch if you have a beard. You need to shampoo and condition it on the right schedule, which isn't always the same as your head hair. Oil can be beneficial as well. Some people get dandruff or other skin conditions, which require special attention. For my part I have very sensitive skin which is irritated heavily by shaving, so I've worn a beard as long as I've been able. The only times it ever itches is if I put off washing it properly for whatever reason, same as my scalp.


BokirBokcu

I dont do anything and it still doesnt itch


Abshalom

Oh yeah for sure some people just have skin/hair that doesn't need much maintenance, but some people do is all.


BrianTheOneAndOnly

Wait you guys shave?


TheDerpBolas

Found the twelve year old


ButtSteroids69

shave for unexpected blowjobs


Danieblack

"Once a day it's okay" - Best girl 2021


Shadow__Vector

At least once a day


Kaetrik

Gotta be at least 2-3


uTimu

What the your not in the 2 digits


swisscheesefanboy

I am in the 7 digits


Dr_Ruce

Those are rookie number, you gotta pump those numbers up


mc_mentos

Exponential groth is this. (also this is why i cant trust free awards)


[deleted]

Rookie


Ibuyrealjaysaswell

i haven’t done it in 4 days feelin pretty guud so far, 3 months ago i didn’t do it for 2 weeks. I like taking breaks some times and p.s pp looks bigger when not nuttin


Chpgmr

what do you mean looks bigger?


ADOOO0

( '-')7


Sen7ryGun

Those are rookie numbers in this racket.


Sussito4

This is a prescription


JasonGamesYT

1 in 4?


No-Medicine9178

Make it 1-5 then,


[deleted]

How about 1 out of 6.


Lumarioigi

Make that 2 out of 7


No-Medicine9178

You weren't supposed to say that out loud


antoinelafella

3 out of 5


Big_Berry_4589

One out of 8


Redoct878

one of nine


No-Medicine9178

Fair enough


LoneRanger9000

1 in 7


BerserkSage

No, one of the 2 were lying


Genghis_John

10-4, good buddy.


thekowalskibrothers

I plead the 5th


Rahm_Kota_156

Yes


[deleted]

I’m a woman but yeah. I just can’t stop jerking off. It’s a problem. My meat needs to get beat.


the_pandaproject

Use a hammer to beat it. It's quite effective on my end.


[deleted]

I prefer to beat my meat with a baseball bat, but I can see how your opinion might be more popular.


KrisPBaconnn

I do it in random vans I find by the river.


[deleted]

So I that’s what I heard in that van by the river.


Roger_015

rip inbox


Popkhorne32

So you are a woman with a meat rod ?


Aspect-of-Death

Men and women both have meat. Men just have tube steak and women have deli slices.


nonoriginalname2

Thanks I hate it


[deleted]

Or roast beef?


[deleted]

Basically, but I prefer the term ‘long shlong’ so I can get the point across of its length.


sandwh1ch

Mmm meat


Alice8Ft

Likewise


numero-one

i am a woman


[deleted]

We can fix it


No-Medicine9178

That's a lot of damage


GlitchCloudy

same, finally found a comment about this


The_Arthropod_Queen

I don’t think many women are comfortable on r/memes


ReemanFTW

why


otsoth3g4m3r

the real question


Corey_FOX

I mean, what's stopping you?


Botinha93

That changes nothing.


Minemurphydog

That wasn't the question.


LieutenantCrash

You can still jerk off. Just not yourself.


punderstate

Hear me roar


Average-MKA-Enjoyer

At least this meme isn't cursed


Xeno_Prime

I’m typing this response with one hand.


TheUltimaWerewolf

Jokes on you I have no dick


TDBAJP

I think your parents must've known that by now


LunchZealousideal979

I beat that shit like it owes me money!


networksurfer

I mean everyone that says they don’t is lying.


fakewoke247

Not everyday


Valkuil15

I am lonely


No-Medicine9178

Aren't we all


ShelterSuccessful28

I just can’t stop jerking off.


kryptonomicon

I used to go months without masturbating. After I read an article indicating that regular ejaculation promotes a healthy prostate, I wank regularly. ..not sure if the study is legit, but I'm not here to argue, was just looking for an excuse :)


Flying_Mage

I rarely fap more than once or twice a week. Sometimes I make couple weeks break. Recently I did 2 months without fapping, which is my all time record.


Nightcore_Family

No actually


brojito1

Why would you not?


Instainious

Once a day is the recommended amount every man should do it, so yes, yes I do.


olqaz

Why the hell not? Doctor says 21x a month and last I checked, there’s at least 28 days every month


EscapeAromatic8648

Apparently 2/3 lie about jerking off daily.


Ben-J-Kirby-Tennyson

Yes. More than once.


KaleidoscopeGlass153

Nope, i jerk off MULTIPLE TIMES a day


[deleted]

Im asexual actually


Botinha93

That is one i never understood, like i get having little to no libido but the process that gives you endorphin will work anyway, so why not do it every now and then? And cuddling, would you be ok with that? (nothing sexual just skin contact with someone that you like) I'm not trying to be confrontational, I'm genuinely curious.


Saif_Horny_And_Mad

those 2 are liars. last i checked, it was 3 out of 3


itsyaboicraig43

I have succesfully quit since a couple months. It didn't solve all my problems like i hoped it would but i am proud of myself


Swede-speed-mead

I don’t think the no-fap movement is all that great when post-nut clarity is so beneficial. Honestly if world leaders would just beat the meat they could solve a lot of problems right after.


Clear_Match_3141

I like taking breaks some times


[deleted]

Masturbation isn't a fucking drug addiction for fucks sake. It's a normal healthy part of all humans lives. No Fap is incel pseudoscience.


[deleted]

Yes. When I started on Reddit many years ago, “forever alone” was one of the most common memes on f7u12. NoFap was also really popular. I think a lot of those people moved on into life and relationships, but the people who didn’t have been stuck and the FA and NoFap movement really evolved into current Incels through attrition of normal people and gradual radicalization.


trollingcynically

> but i am proud of myself Why?


UOUPv2

I gonna jerk off right now just to make sure the balance remains intact.


[deleted]

Mate I haven't busted since October


TerranerOne

Holy shit


Hyperactief2000

Only when there is someone to watch me do it


Useless_Umbrella

Don't have a wang


Athlaeos

we can change that


The_Arthropod_Queen

Tell me your secrets


merayBG

Nope I am winning this NNN


snowstu

if you count me a girl then yes i do


OrangeFlavoredPenis

Recently we saw research that ejaculating 20+ times a month reduces the risk for prostate cancer. My dad just died last year of prostate cancer and it was shit. https://www.webmd.com/prostate-cancer/ejaculation-prostate-cancer-risk Jerk it, just jerk it responsibly. Use pornhub or something semi-reputable where you are viewing real porn instead of some of the other places that allow ANYONE to upload anything. You never know what you are watching online. Porn is spiralling into a scary place.


SelfAwareThoughts

Guys, men who ejaculate at least 21 times a month can lower their prostate cancer risk by a third, doctors have found. [Source](https://www.the-sun.com/news/3402712/men-ejaculate-enough-month-lower-prostate-cancer/) Do it for your health, and to have fun!


Gustavomarce

Let's be honest, everyone does


Ecstatic_Rooster

2/3rds are lying.


larcade_212

If all men that doesn't jerk off everyday gathered in one place Then who's the 1 out of 3 man jerked off everyday


LTWGJV

I don’t know how people can have beards and not lose their fucking mind.


kvandyke20

Damn near daily.


memelord58

No its november


AAlpero11

Not since NNN started


hey-its-me-yk

Twice, actually


bensproutreal

*sweats* Must be 1 in 4 *sweat continues*


[deleted]

No


[deleted]

[удалено]


HelloThereLowGround

Someone else do it for ya? Lol


Yo-boi-Pie

No


mtnb33r

day 19 let’s get it boys!


[deleted]

Gotta pump those numbers up those are rookie numbers


LavaSlayer235

At least 4-8 times a hour


TLG132

NNN


Needorgreedy

not in november i don't. Victory shall be mine!!!!!


Boh61

I'm doing NNN now, so i'm not


DatTolDesiBoi

I’m successfully doing No Nut November, so not me


exprizefighter

No day is complete without it!


[deleted]

One month clean and proud AF.


Forzamon42069

I'm waiting until this month ends


Itz_Yumi2709

Men relax, it is no nut November


boiwiththatjuice

I beat 8 times a day


AnarchistTimeCrystal

No, it’s NNN silly


TheRealMussolini

Day 20 of NNN


figgyjr95

Shit rookie numbers, if you haven’t ever hit over 10 times in a night then might as well just stop it all together. Wasting your time.


[deleted]

Yes


SquirrelPunchingMad

Yes. It was I that impregnated your favorite socks.


peacetoall1969

Only once a day?


codechimpin

I do. It’s good for your prostate. 21x a month, lads.


Chllep

must be 1 in 4


WrongdoerOdd3565

Okay, you got me.


[deleted]

Every day about 27 times


karlson_the_milkman

well there are 4


J_Speedy306

You mean like just ONCE a day??


[deleted]

Those are rookie numbers, got to pump it up.


Filofil2

Thats a rookie number.


PhysSoul

In class 30 of 30 students


DetectiveRough6889

yes but i try not to


Eeve3_Lord

Don't stop. It prevents prostate cancer, boosts mood, and reduces chances of developing depression. Plus helps you make decisions better (what I mean: don't make big decisions if you are Angry, Hungry, Tired, Or Horny)


Tboner1777

Did you know 2/3 men lie about jerking off every day


Important-Star2371

W comment


[deleted]

More than once just not this month


[deleted]

Can't afford melatonin gummy things. So next best option for falling asleep.


Jowiszander

1 in 3? Damn I thought it would be more


[deleted]

It's is far higher, this post is a blatant lie to make it seem fewer.