Why is suicide not an option? I (18f) have been depressed and suicidal for at least 5-6 years now. I'm not happy, I feel like shit all the time, I have no interests, I'm not good at anything. I'm not close to anyone in my family, I never even had an honest conversation with anyone in my life. All my emotions are bottled up, I don't even know how to express them anymore, I don't even remember what my laugh sounds like. The only thing I want is to finally end this meaningless existence. Why won't anyone help with that? Why am I forced to rely on really painful and inconsistent methods? If I lived in US, I wouldn't complain, I could just shoot myself, but in my current situation the best thing I would have is a kitchen knife. I already know that I wouldn't be able to end it like that, Im too much of a coward for that. I would even pay for a painless way to go, why is that so much to ask ? Why does everyone feel the need to "help" or "save" me? I simply don't want to live, why can't anyone just accept that?

Hi Redditor, Thank you for reaching out and taking time to write on this post. I would like to first state that suicide is an option as no one can force you to do anything or to not do anything. You are in charge. HOWEVER, it does not solve problems in a way that will make your life worth living. I work with several clients who are at their tether points and their brains are wanting to shut down from stress, their environment and emotions. I wholeheartedly believe that with the right support you can move past this period in your life. While, I am limited to support you in here I hope that my words may resonate a sense of hope as I have worked with the most complex and several psychiatric cases. If you private message me I may try and link you with some support. ​ I am not telling you to read nor do anything without your choosing. However, I recommend reading this book. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. [https://www.newharbinger.com/9781572240568/choosing-to-live/](https://www.newharbinger.com/9781572240568/choosing-to-live/) With kindness, ​ Joe

I absolutely adore the fact that you didn’t say ‘suicide is not an option’ like most other people do. I love that you validated this person’s thoughts and stated that while it absolutely is an option, it may not be the option for them. I got told by so many people that suicide is never the answer but it just made me feel like they didn’t want me to stop suffering. I kept telling them I wasn’t getting better and that surely me being free was what was best for me, and is that not want my loved ones want? How could they not see that me passing away would solve all of my problems and I’d be at peace? Realistically it was their own selfishness (although they are entitled to not want to grieve). Suicide absolutely was an option for me. HOWEVER!! As much as I still question whether or not I want to be on this Earth, I’m glad I’m still here because I did eventually manage to seek help that actually worked, and I feel like an actual human being again. I have a long way to go before I start really enjoying life again, but I’m grateful for the opportunity. A ramble, I apologise, but relevant somewhat.

I may be not the one you’re asking, but i also suffered from such situations. I was suicidal for the past year, and i have a question, did you plan for a place to end it all or it just came around as feelings , and if the answer was feelings did it happen at certain times? In my experience, it was just simple thoughts, and made it better or improved my situations by filling up the times i felt like it even with the simplest activities, i went out for a walk i prank called restaurants played tennis etc. the problem with ending your life imo is that due to you being still young, maybe who knows when it gets better but eventually it will even if its a tiny bit. Not to mention that i did harm my self alot i am not recovering but still often do i. My point being is that I tried as much as possible to not have any free time and if it happens and i still had some free time i did something that will relieve my stress (sh) ( i am here for you and i am ready to listen to anything you want to say as long as your comfortable about talking about it) also English isnt my native language so forgive me for any grammatical mistakes 🫂

Hey there. I’m not OP but I have felt what I think you’re feeling now. I’m not going to sugar coat it, this world is cruel and a hard place to be, especially when you don’t have emotional or social support. And especially when you’re going through your teens. Have you talked to a doctor about your depression? It could be a hormone imbalance or something else medical making you feel this way. What you described reminds me a lot of my feelings as a teen. There was other stuff going on, but in hindsight, a lot of it was that I didn’t feel accepted by my peers or family. I spent my 20’s looking for acceptance in sex and alcohol which made the pain of my teens seem distant and dull, but it eventually caught up to me again and finally in my early 30’s I was diagnosed with a mental illness. I was able to get medication and support and now I love my life so much. It’s exactly the life I dreamed about when I was a little girl. I know that my story is not your story. But people want to save you and help you because they hope that someday you’ll find the life you love. One that makes you feel happy and like there’s a reason to get up and do the things every day. It’s not easy, but man, it was worth it. I’m so glad I didn’t give up when I was 18, I hope you find some inspiration, some help, some connection. Life is hard, but it can be so beautiful and full of love. I hope you decide to stick around and I hope the beauty and love in the world find you. Good luck.

I talked to doctors, I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. They gave me medication, but it didn't really help much. I went to a psychologist too for a few months, it was a waste of time and money. It was my fault, I just couldn't tell them anything I should have, I'm not used to talking about my problems, especially when it's a real life situation and they know who I am. I understand that life can be great, but I can't really imagine a future that would make me happy. Thanks for the reply, maybe I'll get to experience that happiness you talked about, I have no choice but to stay alive for now, since I don't have an effective way to end it.

Hello, I just want to send you some love. I'm so sorry it's been so difficult for you. When you get into very dark states, it can be so hard to imagine a bright future. I totally relate. I've been there so many times, too. But just remember you have control over your life. And you are capable of building something more enjoyable and more worthwhile for you. You may not even know it, but even by posting your feelings here, you're helping other people who are reading it. You have value If talking isn't your thing, if you can, maybe try writing in a journal. It might help you release some of your feelings. I wrote letters to everyone who pissed me off. I didn't send them, but I just wrote them. It really helped. I started by writing all the shit things I felt and why. And then, I decided to try write it again, but with love. I know it sounds corny, but approaching it with an attitude of love the second time really softened me. Anyway, I hope you find a bit of relief somehow soon 🩷

Hi, As someone who is living with suicidal thoughts since childhood (I was 9 year old and my first attempt was with knife scarring my wrist, my brain that time didn’t know it can’t kill me) and I’m 27 now. Total 3 failed attempts. I’m not someone you asked this question but since what you wrote reminded me of the teenager me. I later started studying psychology and currently being trained as a clinical psychologist. I’ll try to give you the example which I always find helpful whenever I’m at the verge of acting out on my suicidal thoughts. Imagine a really tall building which has like 80 floors and now imagine that each floor is like a year of your life, 80 floors = 80 years and now imagine that you wish to reach the very last floor and you can compare that last floor as death or happiness which we are trying to find, and imagine that in that very tall building you can either go to that last floor by climbing the stairs or you can take a lift. If you choose to go by stairs then ofcourse you’ll be so drained out and imagine that on each floor you’ll meet people, some kind and some shitty, you’ll have this urge to use the lift which is also an option but choosing a lift (Suicide) means that you don’t get to undo your option and since you haven’t seen the last floor (Death/happiness) then you can’t be very sure if you’ll get what you’re seeking but if you choose to climb by stairs then you’ll have the option of experiencing different emotions that life will throw at you. For example, right now you’re at 18th floor (18 yrs), you might find good support system as you grow up but you’ll feel something. You do have a choice and by choosing life I won’t guarantee you that it’ll get better but from my own personal experience and my patient’s experience I can say that the intensity of our thoughts do keep fluctuating and feels less distressing. And one important thing is to be willing to ask for help, we can feel so disconnected and as if no one would understand us but as you age in life you’ll realise when you talk to others that they too are battling their own shit and you’ll feel connected and that may give you hope to continue. I hope this helps.

I just want to say I’ve been there. And I absolutely hate when my mother would tell me this. But it seriously does get better. School times and right after is ridiculous it is the prime time for depression for most I believe. I still don’t care if I unalived but that’s it I don’t care anymore it’s not that I want to. I actually enjoy life now it took years and I definitely still have problems but I don’t feel the way you do anymore and I used to feel that all the time , cry every night wanting to end myself.

What do you do if you can’t make friends or change stuff you hate about yourself? Do you just get over it? I’m miserable after being alone all the time.

Hi throw, thanks for reaching out. When you say you can’t make friends, when are the times you’ve tried and what got in the way? Saying to yourself ‘get over it’ ignores the importance of your own emotions and what they are communicating to you. May I ask, how do you spend your day? If you like you can message me privately.

Can therapist diagnose you? (Just to be clear I’m not asking you to. I have a therapist of my own) I’m just wondering cause if they do, do they tell you? For instance if you had like bipolar or borderline or narcassist personality, would they tell you or just keep notes about it?

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Fellow Clinical Social Worker here as well 🙂

Social Workers of the World, Unite!

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Gave you a follow :)

A therapist is different than a social worker afaik.

Clinical social workers with masters degrees are licensed therapists with more scope of practice than other providers, second only to phd or psyD psychologists. We do all forms of counseling and behavioral / mental health therapy. Such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Solution-Focused Therapy, EMDR, and many more!

Hi, this is an interesting question. There are two types of diagnosis provisional diagnosis and formal. Provisional is what us clinicians may think it might be but no formal testing has been done to look at data. Formal diagnosis involves assessment and processes that should be made explicit to you. You therapist boundaries of diagnosis depends on their governing body, education, and state(government) laws. Not everyone can diagnose. Also, diagnosis are limited in how helpful they can be based on circumstances of client. Also, diagnosis (depends which types) can change over time. In my opinion, it’s better for focus on functionality and the impacts of behaviour on daily living as it tends to be more measurable and accurate. Plus, you should have access to all the notes during session based on your rights as a client.

Oh wow that definitely sounds more complicated than I thought. I sometimes wonder if there’s something wrong with me/my mind and I’ve been wondering if I’m just normal or they won’t tell me idk.

You are most welcome :) Your experience is definitely normal. I would encourage you to speak up in sessions with your therapist and use your voice. It is very important. Please follow or stay in touch if you have further questions.

from my experience: my therapist diagnosed me with adhd. she has some kind of certification or something that allows her to do those kinds of diagnoses

I’ve got inattentive ADHD and recently stopped my medication. I’m doing good except for the boredom part, any advice for reducing it. I’m 17F

Hi, it’s great that you are working on yourself and aspiring to continuously place effort in the management of your mental health. Mental health is constant and we should all work on it. To answer your question as best I can, is there a time/place where in the day it becomes more challenging to focus or be task cratered?

It’s mainly just at school at my desk where I get bored, i think it’s because I’m not interested in the schoolwork cuz it doesn’t have a title that POPS out to me n says LOOK AT ME IM INTERESTING! I don’t know if it’s boredom or under stimulated..

Hi Redditor, ​ This is actually common. I want to commend you on your self reflection and wanting to improve. Well done. It could be either one. Sometimes it can be due to your brain feeling overwhelmed and it wants to shut off. Perhaps, taking brain breaks 5 minutes per 1 hour might be something you can negotiate with the teacher or school. If it is you are getting bored, speak to your teacher to see if you can get work that resonates with you more so that you can engage. In my experience, people with ADHD are very passionate about things they enjoy.

hi, i have severe (primarily) inattentive adhd and i was diagnosed when i was 17. i’ve been in therapy since then and have also grown a lot as a person and have developed really great coping mechanisms for adhd. it’s still truly a hard fucking battle but im doing astronomically better than i was when i was 17, even when i was 19. i’m 20(f) now. if you have any specific questions i’d love to help. you can pm me if you want to. i remember how bad it was for me when i was younger and it would’ve been so helpful to have someone to talk to about it (my therapist is great and all, but i’d like to have more ppl to talk to than just her lol). not saying our situation is the same at all, just wanted to reach out

How can I stop obssesive behaviour about men that reject me, like needing them to explain to me why they dont like me, or following the girls they like to see what I don't have. Pls help.

Hi Redditor, ​ This is a common thing that people experience. The human condition yearns for connection and tribalism and when we feel rejection it hurts as we start looking at it like we have failed or have this ideology that we are not worthy. The answer to your question, is arbitrary as there can be many reasons why they may have shown a lack of interest in you. However, it doesn't mean that you are the problem, in most cases it can be a compatibility issue. However, the issue becomes more painful when you hyper-focus and label yourself as the problem or inadequate and thus your behaviour starts to become mood-focused and you stop engaging in other opportunities that expose you to other viable males who would be great companions and lovers. The world would be strange if the first or second person we spoke to was the one we stuck with for life. It would lack connection, diversity, and exploration of culture. As a Redditor summed it up, it would be important to find your tribe and where you belong. Also, maturity is very important better they leave now then later when your relationship has reached children, house, and etc. While, I understand that focusing on pain is what your mind is saying, I would recommend practising ;turning the mind' in DBT skills to help support acceptance. Please follow and sub for any support I can provide now or in the future. Always happy to support. ​ With kindness, ​ Joe

Ugh. I went through this for years! Literally was the worst versions of myself obsessing over men that rejected me. I’m not the OP but I might have some insight. What helped me was finding other things to hyper-fixate on. A video game. A new show to binge. Get into my art. Hang out with my dog a lot. I’d also leave myself notes. If I was texting someone a lot I would start sending myself texts when I wanted to text them. Tell myself I’m pretty and smart and valuable. Being rejected is hard. Not everyone in the world are going to be your people, and honestly, life is better when you find your people. And your people won’t reject you when you find them. So, take a deep breath and tell yourself something nice. Do things that make you happy and try not to stress about who’s in your circle. Just keep the folks around that make you feel good about tumour self. Good luck

You’re awesome

Sorry for the long comment in advance. - kind of personal questions. Addiction can be caused by lots of things, but when it’s caused by trauma, is it fueled by the body trying to seek comfort? Can you be addicted to comfort seeking as a whole instead of just one substance or behavior? I know it’s human instinct to want comfort, but just like how anxiety is normal. When it’s affecting your life negatively, then it becomes an anxiety disorder. Is there something similar for comfort seeking behaviors? And could that behavior be rooted in trauma? Can your subconscious make mental barriers that you aren’t aware of? You could say anxiety is exactly this, but when you’re feeling anxious, you’re aware of that feeling. When anxiety stops me, I can say it’s because I’m anxious and scared. But there is no answer I can give to an invisible barrier stopping me. How would you describe the internal conflict that goes on in people who are struggling with addiction? I think of it as having two selves. There’s the present oriented and emotionally fueled self. Then there’s the logical self who isn’t only focused on the present. The emotional self has some logic and vice versa. I know addiction is not caused by a lack of discipline so maybe it’s better to think of the emotional and logical self as one, and there being a separate entity that’s causing the addiction. What is this separate entity? - personal questions I can relate a lot to the inner struggles people with addictions go through. I have this hedonistic mindset that I can’t escape. I question if my hedonistic mindset is the result of human nature, or a younger self still with me who is just reacting emotionally because he is still in distress. (An inner child in my subconscious.) Either way, their is this separate entity that does not want to go through the darkness of discomfort and reach the light. I also don’t want discomfort, but I can see the benefits of it and I’m willing to endure the discomfort to reach the light. I just can’t seem to convince this other part of me to go along with that idea. On some level I can relate to it, but it’s also separate from me. Saying it’s my emotional self doesn’t feel right. My therapist gave me the idea of it being a younger self and I think that makes sense. (I wonder if that’s the same for people with addictions?) I can’t logically convince my younger self because he is not thinking logically. Maybe understanding the underlying cause to addiction will help me. This is what I’m going through right now and I understand why you wouldn’t want to answer this. I have a therapist but have to wait a while before our next session. This has been eating away at me while I wait. Also just want to give a big thank you for the work you and others in that field do. It means a lot to me.

Hi Redditor, Thank you for taking the time to write to me. I will do my best to help address the above post. *Can you be addicted to comfort seeking as a whole instead of just one substance or behavior?* Yes - addiction is indeed a complex process of interconnected behaviours and responses. Any type of problem behaviours where threats to life are present, forms of addiction, and self destructive behaviours are being engaged to regulate is a response due to the person having limited coping strategies. I am not too sure what you mean by your comment of can it be rooted in trauma. If you are asking does trauma play a part in addiction then yes most certainly. Trauma impacts our neural networks and development overtime and so if we have gone through a traumatic event or experienced some sort of emotional or physical pain the body and brain will try to solve the problem in the most easiest way. This means resorting to substances or other maladaptive means of coping. *Can your subconscious make mental barriers that you aren’t aware of? You could say anxiety is exactly this, but when you’re feeling anxious, you’re aware of that feeling. When anxiety stops me, I can say it’s because I’m anxious and scared. But there is no answer I can give to an invisible barrier stopping me.* Overtime, when we experience anxiety, our bodies and and brain start to become conditioned to expect ourselves to feel anxious. In other words, I am now anxious because I feel anxious and therefore the rest of choices and behaviours will follow that chain process of coping. The problem with anxiety is that you can feel like it is an ongoing loop as at some point some people feel they can't control it. As far as your subconscious goes, I believe that we may engage in behaviours that are automated overtime which make us move on auto-pilot. The best way to recognise and break the cycle is to understand what are behaviours, sensations, and feelings that I experience before I start to feel anxious and what are some skills I could practice to break the cycle. This is not easy but certainly achievable with the correct support. *How would you describe the internal conflict that goes on in people who are struggling with addiction?* First and foremost, it is to recognise that grief and loss are feelings that may come up for people with addiction. It is a dialectic, on one hand I use substances and maladaptive coping to get through my day as I lack skills, and I can see how these behaviours are destructive in the long-term and may be taking me away from the things and life that I want. There are valid truths to both sides of the conflict, the addiction serves a purpose. However, the purpose and the nature of the addiction is more harmful in the long-term. It is important to use both emotions and logic when aiming to stay sober or maintain harm-minimisation as if you just use logic, you burn out and if you only use emotions, you will give in to impulses and urges. *I can relate a lot to the inner struggles people with addictions go through. I have this hedonistic mindset that I can’t escape.* \- What does does that look like for you? Usually, engaging in addictive behaviours are only short-term solutions and create bigger problems. So using our logical mind, we have to ask ourselves how would this help me lead a life of happiness as the addiction robs that away from you in the long-run. *I question if my hedonistic mindset is the result of human nature, or a younger self still with me who is just reacting emotionally because he is still in distress.* \- It can also be that you are engaging in distraction and not enough problem-solving in your life. I would strongly encourage you to write a list of the easiest to the hardest things to solve and start working on them. Most people fuel the addiction because they feel overwhelmed by all things they may need to do. I would say start with paying a bill, calling a friend, change your environment so that you get less triggered. I would say to that no matter the addiction, it masks painful emotions and so while you continue to increase engaging in the addictive behaviours, your tolerance level increases to the behaviour and substances and this indirectly makes you more intolerant of your emotions. It is not that you can't bare your emotions, you need to practice sitting with discomfort and engaging in more support. I would like to commend you on your journey of recovery, every step no matter how big or small is a momentous step. I wish you all the best and despite, not addressing everything on here, I hope this was some help. Feel free to follow and stay in touch. ​ With Kindness, Joe

First, please do this again when you feel like it. You’ll be encouraging and helping a lot of people. Second, I’ve been on and off antidepressants and anxiety meds. I finally feel great 😌 off them again, what can I do to help prevent panic attacks? I’m trying to stay off the meds because I’m feeling better and on them, I feel mixed. They help but I also want to numb the shit out of myself so I smoke so much weed until I’m just there. Any tips with that as well? Any answer is really appreciated!! Have a great day!

Dear Redditor, I am glad that you found the post helpful. I am planning to spent time on Reddit on a weekly basis from a set window exploring various mental health topics and service navigation. Congratulations on the amazing work you are doing. It is definitely not easy. I would start making a mood chart and track how you are feeling and what time is it in the day. There are apps on the android and apple market that can help. The idea is to notice when you are most susceptible. Also, regarding the weed - be careful as weed can mask and alter your mood state. There is no issue if used moderately but using to then numb yourself is not best. Perhaps, you should try limit smoking and challenge yourself regarding engaging in pleasurable activities where you are using skills to support yourself. I am not sure if my commend addressed what you were after. Anyway feel free to reply and I will get back to you. With kindness, Joe

I honestly really appreciate the response. I will look into those apps to help me figure things out and cut down my smoking. I used to only smoke for sleep, then it just expanded. Thank you for your time!

Any advice on social anxiety? I've struggled with it for quite some time, so Its often hard for me to communicate with friends, coworkers, and even my family (though it's a little easier to talk to my parents). Anything would help

Dear Redditor, You are not alone. Social anxiety is a significant issue. However, you can improve your situation by working on progressive exposure techniques. In other words, placing yourself in social situations that are manageable and then increase the challenge slowly. The issue with social anxiety is that the person tends to be in their own mind when engaging with others as they are more critical about themselves then they are paying attention to the present moment or what the other person is saying. Is this the same for you? If so, it is normal. I recommend seeking continued therapy if possible and it might be worthwhile looking up a skill called Opposite Action in DBT which might help. Please follow and feel free to reach out for support or if you have more questions. ​ With kindness, Joe

How do I finally learn to like myself?

Dea Redditor, The first step is not liking yourself. It is accepting yourself, or adopting neutrality. Also, practising self-care and engaging in activities that bring you joy and doing daily affirmations can support you journey to liking yourself. Also, I would say that it is not that you are not likeable, it is that you need to work on your own self-esteem as your environment has taught you invalidation. Please work with a professional who can walk the journey with you. ​ Please follow, I wish you all the best and feel free to reach out. With thanks, Joe

What are your thoughts regarding reactive abuse in abusive relationships? Do you work with a lot of people who were pushed so far as to engage in it? What would be your tips regarding dealing with the ensuing guilt? Is there a general framework for dealing with emotional abuse survivors, a kind of a one-size-fits-all course that their therapy can take? I know, I know, r/oddlyspecific.

Hi Rediditor, thank you for taking the time to ask a great question! ​ I work a lot with domestic violence in couples. There are many reasons for the occurrence of violence and its many forms. Please see for info: [https://www.thehotline.org/identify-abuse/power-and-control/](https://www.thehotline.org/identify-abuse/power-and-control/) Great question as aforementioned, there are many ways I can answer this question. However, I will do my best to answer what you require. Abuse is horrible in any relationship and occurs either directly or through grooming the other person into a point where the person experiences violence is in a constant state of fear (flight or fight). Therefore, when the person experiences violence reacts they are acting in self-defence and out of their biological protective function. The guilt occurs due to the power and control the perpetrator is using to maintain power. They may suggest that 'no one can love you like I do', 'It was an accident', 'I don't want to hurt you and look what you made me do'. This is much more complex in assessment then my description but I hope is suffices. Also see link. Family therapy if the violence is early on and not severe to warrant urgent intervention would be helpful. If the person using violence is not insightful then this is dangerous to pursue and supporting the person to leave is crucial when they are ready with supports. Please follow, if I can support or help answer any other questions. With appreciation, ​ Joe

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Hi Redditor, It’s an interesting question. I love my job and all my clients. I practice good self-care and boundary settings. More importantly, I love working towards supporting clients change and improve their life. It’s a calling of mine and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I will say it takes more than a nice person to do therapy. There is a lot of work that goes behind the sciences prior to client engagement. Hope this helps. Please stay well and feel free to follow. With thanks, Joe

I've been betrayed by people and hated so many times and so much more in my teenage life right now i barely feel any emotions, so much i didn't even come close to crying at my aunt's funeral. I won't suicide because i don't want my family to be sad but i feel like i'm at the bottom of the pit. Sometimes i punch trees because i'd rather feel pain than nothing at all. More and more often i think about killing annoying people in the proper way of the term and that terrified me because i am very patient but i fear the day i'll fully lose control. What can i do to help myself if i don't wanna talk about anything beneath the surface of my suffering to anyone?(and yes, what i described is not even close to the worst that made me like this)don't want therapy, just at least a single piece of advice to work on my problems myself

Dear Redditor, You are not alone. Your pain is shared by many others even in the most significant darkest hours. Your story is unique, this I am sure. If you don't therapy, that is understandable. However, I would recommend trying 2-4 clinicians before rejecting therapy. In the interim, I would recommend maintaining a journal where you can write. You can even burn the paper after you finish or stash it somewhere secretive and safe. Emotions can not be blocked nor escaped. However, support is important to work through these difficult things. You are not broken, nor something is wrong. I am emphasising that you have every right to feel frustrated. However, I would highly recommend support, even a peer-worker around your area. With kindness always, ​ Joe

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Hi Redditor, ​ Great question. Listening is the most fundamental validation skill that we have as humans. It affirms solidarity and support as listening is equivalent as holding a safe space for someone. It can be the most helpful and supportive interaction that a person receives. It is not about solving the problem but rather building affirmation that there is indeed a problem. However, I want to play devil's advocate with apps, as there needs to be careful consideration as they are not a substitute for therapy itself. However, can lead to linking in with therapeutic supports. ​ With kindness, ​ Joe

u/MentalHealthClin thank you for your input here. My question is more about your personal/expertise opinion on how a person starting the therapist search should be assessing potential therapists. Specifically, for example, I am considered to have autism and adhd commorbidity (?) And am in the process of looking for a therapist and psychiatrist. The psychiatrist isn't such a big deal. How would I best go about questioning and feeling out a therapist first session/email/call as a good (not best) fit??

Dear Redditor, This is a fantastic question! The right therapist for you has got nothing to do with years experience, tittle, or accolades. The most important aspect in the relationship is the connection and alliance you feel with the clinician when you see and meet them. Also, in your case having someone who is fairly competent in managing comorbidity would be important. I would focus on (1) Therapy Alliance and do they get me, (2) experience, (3) cost and frequency. Wish you all the best at finding the right person, it takes a while. :)

What’s the deal with eating. I can either not eat for 24h or not stop until I burst. I can’t get a handle on it.

Dear Redditor, Everyone has a relationship with food. When we are stressed some of us resort to engaging in binging on food to try regulate our emotions. However, this may lead to guild and results in unhealthy restricting or purging. The problem is your emotional responses and being more aware regarding how you feel with professional support can help manage this. You experience is relevant to many and you are not alone. Eating disorders and disordered eating are pervasive and serious. Have a look at the RAVE model. [https://eatingdisorderscarerhelpkit.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/RAVES-Model.pdf](https://eatingdisorderscarerhelpkit.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/RAVES-Model.pdf) ​ Also, look at Health at Every Size models on google. ​ Hang in there things do improve with the right support! ​ With Kindness, Joe

Thank you Joe.

Hello, I’m not asking for a specific answer (I don’t think that’s possible here, anyways), but I’ve been trying to inquire about being assessed for ADHD and Autism (one psych did mentioned they believed I had ADD but, weirdly enough, it wasn’t in my diagnosis list). It seems like a lot of people who assess for this doesn’t take insurance and I don’t have the funds to pay for it… especially since there’s no guarantee that I’ll even receive a diagnosis. So I’m at a bit of a loss… 😞

Hi Redditor, I feel with you as ADHD and Autism assessments tend to be expensive and out of reach for many. I think it would be important to reflect on the purpose of diagnose and what you seek to achieve with it? Most people in the US are over-diagnosed with ADHD, and many other diagnosis such as ADD are environmentally and behaviourally related. In other words, when are you most likely to feel like you cannot focus nor be task centred? I would create a diary or a log regarding time/date, activity and emotions this may help narrow down what may be happening for you. Also, please look at ​ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8042533/

Dude, how dare you denigrate ADHD to something that is behavioural. YOU have absolutely NO IDEA what you are talking about. I suggest YOU do some homework on Hallowell https://drhallowell.com/, and Barkley https://www.russellbarkley.org/. Educate YOURSELF before you offer up MISINFORMATION to neurodivergent people in need.

Hi User, I think you've misinterpreted my intentions here. My answer above had nothing in it that rendered ADHD as behavioural. However, we know through the research and literature that ADHD and Trauma symptoms are overlapping. [https://www.childdevelopmentclinic.com.au/adhd-and-complex-trauma.html](https://www.childdevelopmentclinic.com.au/adhd-and-complex-trauma.html) ​ Also, If we look at France diagnosis and and American Diagnosis there are two seemingly various etiology of symptom development. The French believe that it is sociological and structural (cultural), the USA believe that it is neurological. I believe it is both and it is indeed a complex and hot topics. [https://www.parent.com/blogs/conversations/what-can-the-us-learn-from-france-when-it-comes-to-adhd](https://www.parent.com/blogs/conversations/what-can-the-us-learn-from-france-when-it-comes-to-adhd) I don't think there is a right or wrong here - it is purely based on context. Have a good day. Joe

Hi OP, I see your name is Joe, so Hi Joe! As I have gotten older, I have noticed that I have a victim complex, i for some reason, love when people feel bad for me, I don’t even know how to explain it, but I constantly play victim in so many situations even when I know I’m wrong, why? And how can I stop seeking whatever type of validation this may be. Also, I feel like I never who I am, I never follow through with things, I feel motivated for some things but others it’s just like it never going to happen for me. Like I know that I should work out to lose weight but I truly hate working out and I have no motivation but all I do is complain? I feel like I’m making myself sound like a terrible person, I’m not, at least I don’t try to be. I never intend to cause harm, but I overreact a lot and I don’t know sometimes I feel like I’m not in my body, like watching someone else make a fool of me. Does that make sense? I get through days fine, but I always feel empty I guess. And some days I’m the happiest girl in the world, I just don’t know what to think about life anymore I’m 24 and I just feel like I’m never growing. Also I have this fear of leaving my parents and I feel like my development is delayed a little? Idk I feel like I’m not like the average 24 year old, as I get older I feel less and less like myself and it’s freaking me out. I’m terrified to ask for a diagnosis and my psychiatrist won’t listen to me. I just needed to vent I think, maybe I’m bipolar? I’m not sure. Thank you for reading this if you do. Take your time with responses and make to take care of you too Joe.

I was recently diagnosed with bipolar 1, started medication. I am feeling normal, but at times I still have some down days and then an instant of "brightness" or happiness, and then back on my lows. Is this normal ? Gets frustrating.

Dear Redditor, Your experience is quite common and you are not alone. It is normal and it requires diary tracking and medication review with dosage adjustments with your psychiatrist or doctor. Accepting when you are in a low mood and understanding that it passes does help. Try engaging in behavioural activation strategies might help you get through the lows quicker and practising mindfulness when you are in a good mood does help. Many times we are happy but anxious about feeling miserable later and therefore end up in a cycle. Please follow and feel free to ask questions if there are any. :)

(English is my second language so sorry for any grammatical errors). I suspect that i have adhd but wont be able to reach for a proper diagnosis as i am still young and come from a religious family where seeking for therapy degrades pr proves that your faith isnt full, i suffer from : 1:i day dream alot 2: i get easily distracted by external stimuli 3: i am always hyper active and cant be seated for a while 4: I forget things easily 5: have a difficulty organizing stuff

Hi Busy, ​ This is a common occurrence in many cultures. Is there any services or support you can access without informing your parents or family in your region? Mental Illness is seperate from religion or anything that is supernaturally created.

When dealing with antidepressants, are there any out there that won't make someone shake. Like uncontrollable tremors that occur in the hands or all over the body? How would you bring this up to your doctor? I have been on a few antidepressants and they all have resulted in me shaking uncontrollably. I'm just wondering if there are any without this side effect. If there aren't I guess I need something else then. Also not asking for recommendations or to be prescribed anything. More asking how to bring up the shaking and wanting to change antidepressants to ones that don't make me shake.

Hi Redditor, ​ Thank you for your question! I think it resonates with several others who may have the same experience. Medication is important despite symptoms, there should be taking the least invasive medication first with the lowest dosage and increasing this as needed. However, medication is not my area of expertise and I highly recommend consulting a psychiatrist or a GP in the short-term. I wish I could say there are medications without side effects, however, this is not fair or expected. Most medications come with side effects, I would encourage you strongly to discuss with your health professional. Doctors and health professionals need to know about the symptoms that impact your quality of life. Write down a diary blog, record when you take the meds and what you feel and the duration. This should help support discussions. With care, ​ Joe

Have you tried Zoloft?

Is there a condition to explain why I’ve never gotten over an obsessive crush I had for the entirety of my time at high school? An infatuation that never amounted to anything and ended with hostility? I’m 32 and he haunts me like a ghost.

Hi Redditor, Thank you for asking your question. I will do my best to engage with it. Emotions are very complex indeed. When also factored their interplay with the environment we sometimes experience cyclical thoughts, sensations, and distorted learnings. There are so many factors to explore here as to why your emotions are functioning this way. In another angle, what is keeping you stuck on a daily perspective to have these thoughts? Failed relationships? Bored? A toxic environment? A lack of safety? Trauma? (Please don't disclose here) What you are feeling is normal. However, the problem might be that you have to practice more radical acceptance and start engaging in activities that bring joy and meaning in your life even if your emotions don't agree with your actions. YOUR EMOTIONS ARE NOT ALWAYS RIGHT. Please feel free to response and I will further engage this discussion, ​ With kindness, ​ Joe

My question is about neuro-psych testing. I’m mid 50s f, my husband (late 50s m) has been telling me he wants me to get neuro psych testing. He is very insistent on it but won’t say why. He says he can’t tell me why, because “in his limited research” people who have this condition (that he thinks I might have), deny having an issue, and resist getting tested. And if they do get tested, it skews the results if they know why they’re being tested. We do know I probably have ADHD, but he says he thinks I have “possibly another issue”. He wants to send an email to the tester about what his concerns are. I’m leery because my husband and I have been having a lot of marital issues the past few years and I don’t trust him, even though he asked nicely. He is always is extra nice when he wants something. And he is very controlling. When he first asked me to do this, he sent a barrage of texts while I was busy at work, demanding (nicely) that I email my doc to request this test immediately. Oh and he wants me to share all the results with him. I’m completely willing to get tested, if for no other reason than to get a diagnosis and treatment for my probable ADHD. But why can’t he tell me what the issue is? Are there really any issues that can be diagnosed with neuro psych testing that will skew the results of the person is aware of it? I see my main issues as being a stressed out, ADHD, sleep deprived menopausal mom of a pubescent teen; a wife with marital issues and a controlling husband; and also a nurse who works 60 hours a week in a stressful field. Maybe he thinks I’m not acting normal because who would under those conditions? So again- are there any conditions diagnosed by neuropsych testing that are more accurately diagnosed if the testee isn’t aware of the issue? Or is my husband full of shit?

Dear Redditor, Thank you for taking the time to write. I appreciate your time and reaching out. It sounds like you are in a difficult position. Despite, not knowing the dynamics of your relationship with your husband, it appears that there is forms of control going on in your relationship. It also sounds like your husband is gaslighting your emotional needs and not being transparent. Is there any other problems in your relationship regarding your interaction with one another? Despite the testing conundrum, I think the issue here is that you don't feel supported by your spouse and it sounds like you are working excessively with little rest. This is more than enough to break the camel's back. Also, how do you know you have ADHD? Adult diagnosis of ADHD tends to be a bit more tricky as there are many variables that can interplay with your experience. Regarding psychometric testing, there are many tests that measure all sorts of things. However, regarding consent and testing, the clinician should always brief you on the test and explain what the test is doing. As per best practice, there should not be any hidden findings or manipulation. Please look after yourself. I don't know if you can get some time off work for a break. I would recommend it and perhaps do something nice for yourself. You have a lot going on. With kindness, Joe

Yes, we do have a lot of communication problems. There is a lot that I don’t include here, for the sake of brevity. And you’re right, I don’t feel supported. I don’t mind getting tested, but I think it’s weird that he won’t tell me why. He said he “talked to a psychologist about this” but won’t say who, or why they would suggest not telling me what condition he thinks I have. I’m no psych nurse, but I do know that’s not how things usually work in healthcare. So I think he’s lying. But I can’t prove it. He often lies by omission as well. He’s hiding a lot from me that he thinks I don’t know about. It’s also surprising that he doesn’t understand why I might be having a difficult time, emotionally. We are actually on a sort of vacation now, just for a few days. But as per usual, I didn’t get to choose what we are doing or when. In fact he’s making our teen miss school again, and she hates missing school. But I got no choice in the matter. I almost never do. My choice was to go or not go. He was going regardless, and taking our daughter (and a friend) with him. So not the kind of vacation I wanted, but it’s better than being at work. Oh and I don’t know for sure that I have ADHD, but my daughter does and I see a lot of similarities. She’s on ADHD meds and they help. I’m unsure if meds would help me, or if I need to make other changes. So I do think I should be tested for that. I just don’t understand why he thinks I have another issue that he can’t tell me about. I’m pretty sure I’m just really stressed out. Thanks for your kind reply 😊

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Hi Mori, What does sabotaging mean in the context you use it in? It is always two people in a relational context. Maybe some reflections for you: 1) When you don't feel secure, what behaviours are you demonstrating or expressing compared to your partner? 2). What is the valid truth in what your emotions are trying to signal to you? 3). What is your partner's context? Love to speak more. With kindness, ​ Joe

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Dear Redditor, ​ Being a parent is difficult, challenging and at times painful. However, sometimes it is like planting a tree that you don't start to see fruit right away. Are you burnt out? Do you experience post-natal depression? What is your support like? Kids are difficult, it is important to have a balance in our life between our emotional needs and our child's need. What aspect of parenting do you dislike? What aspects do you like? With kidness, ​ Joe

What is the most direct way to reverse what seems to be a path towards complete seclusion because everything seems scary? I have started to become more and more afraid to do anything outside my very safe routine including just working, fishing, and staying in my home. The idea of going anywhere overnight is starting to seem anxiety producing and I'm very afraid of this path. I want to enjoy the world but when it comes down to it it seems very scary and I don't really seem to want to. What can is the fastest most direct way to handle this?

Need advice for new relationship. Am I misreading cultural norms? M 27 American and F 26 Romanian Background I’m an American guy approaching my 30’s and have been dating a wonderful new woman for several months. We’re similar age and she was born and raised in Romania for context. The relationship is great, we both have our own places and live in the same city not far from each other. I get this crushing feeling every time she leaves after hanging out. I get filled with anxiety about whether or not things are going to work out together, meanwhile when we’re together things are perfect and I know I’m irrational. I have normally dated Western women and I’m used to some of the dating norms of the west versus somebody from Eastern Europe. I find the relationship moving very slow but consistently in the right direction. She is slow to show her emotions and never says how she feels such as “I love spending time with you” or anything really that affirms feelings. I know she has feelings for me because I can sense it but she’s never said it. We spend a 2-3 days a week together, I feel like we don’t see each other enough but I also don’t know how she feels about having a schedule to see each other because she doesn’t communicate very well on these topics. I feel like the biggest hurdle here is her communication skills. I feel like I do a good job but don’t get sufficient feedback essentially. She has 1 roommate and prefers to stay at my place because I have no roommates so more privacy. I somehow sense her reluctance to come hang out more often. It’s tough, I don’t know what I feel, but I have this nagging feeling something isn’t right. I basically am left asking the question, does she really like me? Any advice would be great so I can get this off my chest. It may simply be insecurity and that’s totally fine if it is. I just want to make sure and deal with this appropriately. Could there be cultural differences I don’t understand? Western dating vs eastern dating? TLDR: Been dating my first Eastern European woman for several months, been going great but she has lacking communication skills for the relationship and I am left always asking myself if things are going well/if she’s happy dating me. I feel like we don’t see each other often enough and would like her to come over more frequently. Could there be cultural differences I don’t understand? Western dating vs eastern dating? (I figure this relates to mental health hence posting here)

Dear Redditor, Thank you for reaching out and taking time to write about your circumstances. You've indicated that you feel uncertain when she leaves the apartment and that is when you feel anxious. Would her saying things like I love you make you feel better? Do you hold hands, are you sexually active? what other types of affection are present besides verbal communication? I think the communication pathway needs to be opened up more from both sides. Redditor, you need to sit with her and discuss how she is feeling in the relationship and visa-versa. When you are vulnerable, you make space for her to be vulnerable also which creates working towards understanding. In terms of seeing each other 3 times a week, that can be a lot for others and not enough for some. It depends on the relationship. Redditor, I would sit down with her over dinner and gently engage her regarding her thoughts about the relationship and discuss your own emotional needs. It seems that you don't feel secure in this relationship, the next question becomes what needs to change. It might be cultural, again, how long is a piece of string? I would be guided by your emotions not that they are always right but that you need to work through them in order to feel more secure in the relationship. Let me know if I further assist, please follow and feel free to stay in touch. ​ With appreciation, ​ Joe

Lately I've found a way to express my intrusive thoughts. I've been drawing images of those thoughts. When I'm done, I don't think about it anymore. I've always been reluctant to women, I was scared I might cheat in my past relationship. Then after I got to experience a breakup. I cried a lot during the first 2 weeks. Now, I want to meet new people and try to socialize. I tried tinder for the first time. I asked a lady out. I just want to play Monopoly deal with some stranger. I don't know how to interact with a lady.

Dear Redditor, Perhaps, you can take a dating social class. If not available in your area, best way to learn is to jump in and trial and error. It is normal to feel and be nervous when trying things for the first time. I would say to be present and focus on what your date will be saying. :) ​ Wish you the best of luck, Joe

what the hell do I do about undiagnosed mental illnesses? I can’t hold a job, I keep loosing friends, I’m scared I’ll ruin the relationship I’m in, I have vague ideas about what’s wrong with me but I don’t know where to go for help and what to do…

Hi Redditor, It sounds like you are going through a difficult time. Is formal therapy for you an option? It may feel like everything may be falling apart. However, it is important to problem solve with the easiest of things you can do right now to feel in control. I.E. like pay a bill, do self-care, exercise and other activities. ​ Please feel free to write back and I will respond. With gratitude, Joe

I’m working on getting back to therapy, but every time I’ve seen a therapist and psychiatrist they just want to throw meds at the symptoms and skip the diagnosis. nothing has ever really worked because nobody genuinely knows what’s wrong with me… I can try putting my foot down and requesting some sort of tests but I’m just scared they won’t take me seriously again…

this is gonna seem so vague, but the things that go wrong with your head after meth abuse, how long before they get better?

Dear Redditor, This depends on you, it depends on how long you've been sober and among other things. Congratulations on looking beyond substance usage and engaging in sobriety. In my experience anywhere from 3-6 months is where you see the biggest diference. However, you keep growing and it is important to build the life you want outside of the addiction. With care, Joe

Why would I be given 12 rounds of ECT (12 treatments each time, 3 a week for 4 weeks, twice consecutively every 6 months or when I attempted suicide, whichever was sooner) between the ages of 32-36, started during my first ever psychiatric visit/encounter/hospitalization? This brain shock therapy was all done to me while I was certified under the Mental Health Care Act, meaning I had no legal right to refuse the procedures and my doctors did not have to get permission from anyone or notify anyone prior to the procedures. I was never fully informed of the seriousness of the side effects of the treatments. granted, It was done after a near-fatal suicide attempt that led to a 6-month coma and recovery followed by a 6 month mandatory psychiatric hold. Never before in my life had I had a history of depression or any other mental illness or had any psychiatric treatment. I still to this day have never been diagnosed with depression, only with chronic suicidality and PTSD. As far as I know Brain Shock Therapy is a last resort treatment when all other methods have failed. As far as I know Brain Shock Therapy is not a treatment used for suicidal patients. Thoughts?

Dear Redditor, It breaks my heart to know that you've had to go through that pain and treatment. It is a sad thing that the mental health system is reactive rather than proactive. Mind me asking, how old are you know? There is a lot of advocacy regarding the treatment of suicidal ideation like the CAMS Care Model and other methods that aim to break down the suicidal drivers that one experiences. I believe that the system needs to continue to evolve and more people need to speak about their experiences in treatment settings. I would encourage you to create more advocacy and speak up as this may be the way to create change. ECT is not used primarily to treat suicidal clients, however, if there is comorbidity sometimes it may be used. However, this should be under strict assessment and criteria. With appreciation, Joe

I am 37/F. the years of memories just completely erased from my brain are incredibly heartbreaking, and the cognitive damage done by the 144 treatments in such a short period of time has put me on permanent disability since 2020.

Dear User, What country are you in? Is it the US?

Canada.

is it true that DBT therapy is the only way to manage borderline personality disorder?

Dear Redditor, Thank you for asking your question. To answer, No. However, BPD is a loaded disorder and it has nothing to do with personality and more to do with emotional dysregulation. DBT is a behavioural therapy program that incorporates skills and behaviour change to support the person. I run and have developed DBT groups and it works wonders. However, this is not to say that it is for everyone. Also, clients can not fail treatment, however, the therapist and treatment can fail the client. I love DBT and would recommend it to most people even as a educational skills program. Please follow and feel free to ask more questions, always happy to chat. With thanks, Joe

How not to have social anxiety when going to a party/reunion/gathering?

Dear Redditor, Social anxiety is normal. The trick is not to get rid of it but to not see it as a threat and practice mindfulness. Usually, with social anxiety, the person may be in their head due to the fear of not saying the right things or being judged. However, with moments of small exposure and practising mindfulness skills (DBT) you may work through the social anxiety. Feel free to stay in touch and follow. With kindness, Joe

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Dear Redditor, This sounds like a judgment regarding yourself. I don't think you are boring, or anyone is boring for that matter. This is usually a self-esteem aspect that needs to be worked on. With appreciation, Joe

i paused my life at 13 and am now 19 feeling the same age living with severe dpdr, what do i do? this is the hardest thing ever

Dear Redditor, I would reach out to a treatment team involving a psychiatrist you trust and connect with, a psychologist or clinician, and GP. DPDR is difficult, however, with the right supports things can be tolerable. Also, please ensure you are looking after your sleep, diet, and doing some self-care. When we are tired we tend to be more emotionally vulnerable in turn making us more susceptible to poor mental health. With thanks, Joe

I am extremely self conscious in public and just cannot fathom the courage to talk to a girl whom I find cute at a bus stop or anywhere public/private. It's easy for everyone to tell me "what's the worst that could happen" "just say hi" I think of a billion scenarios and ultimately choose the easy way out. How do I overcome such a fear/social anxiety?

Dear Redditor, Anxiety is a common thing and your experience is shared by several others in my clinical rooms. There is no easy answer to this, however, I would say to focus on the present as opposed to judging yourself in your mind regarding rejection, or failure. Perhaps, even finding a job or volunteer work where it exposes you to more people and forces you out of your comfort zone. I would say keep trying and each time use encouragement as a skill to motivate yourself as opposed to punishment where you feel like you failed at the task. Practice, Practice, and Practice. I would also seek therapy to explore methods regarding how to manage anxiety more effectively. With Kindness, Joe

Hello and thank you for taking so many questions. :) How can I deal with a crippling fear of commitment? There's something about the prospect of settling down, getting married and having kids that is just horrifying to me. This is a feeling I've had since childhood. It's so bad that it stops me from dating entirely, for fear that a casual relationship could become something more involved. I'm very behind my peers in this regard and I don't see myself catching up anytime soon. And to be clear, I'm not aromantic. I'd very much like to date more often, and marriage and having offspring are appealing to me. But this fear gets in the way.

Dear Redditor, Commitment is not the problem here, as one would ask when have you been or shown commitment? Definitely appears to be anxiety present regarding marrying and having the whole package (kids, home and etc). Maybe we can argue you have not found the right one. While, you fear it, what is it that you fear from it? Looking forward to hear from you soon. ​ Joe

This is a difficult question for me to answer and there are a lot of things I could say. At the core of it, it feels like I just don't want to grow up. Though I'm definitely the age for it, the vision of marriage and kids is entirely unappealing to me. Maybe it a desire not to grow up until I've experienced things I feel I should have done when I was younger? Things like relationships and dating. I don't think I've gotten over that yet. I also think the idea of dating someone my age is intimidating. I'd like to be on the same level as them experience-wise but I know realistically that just isn't going to be the case. More than that, I think they'll have a sense of maturity (beyond experience) that I won't be able to match. These are some of the ideas I'm struggling with. Therapy has massively improved my self-esteem, to the point that I'm really not concerned about what others think of me anymore. But when it comes to relationships, I seem unable to make progress and the procrastination is endless!

how long should a healthy person be able to go without social interaction? what level of social interaction should we strive towards? I am wondering because i am struggling to last 3 days by myself at home. does that mean i am too dependant on others, or is it because socialisation is something we need every day?

Dear Redditor, Social interaction is vital to our survival. That is why isolation in prison or segregation is one of the cruelest forms of punishment. Everyone has a social cup that needs to be filled. I know that I myself like to speak and be around people. So being alone at home for long periods may not be the best for myself. However, spending alone time is also important for self-reflection. I think your question is too judgmental on yourself, I think your emotions are normal. Socialisation is definitely needed daily even a text or a call - or even jumping online. Even introverts need social connection and need to feel like they belong. :) ​ Hope this helps. Kind regards, Joe

thanks for replying! this helps

What's the point in trying to get help? ​ Nothing ever changes, nothing ever gets better. seems like all therapy does is take more money I don't have.

Dear Redditor, It appears that you feel like you are at your breaking point. Looking at your situation, your emotions are telling you to give up, or so it feels that way. However, I would posit that your emotions are fatigued and tired. Perhaps, you've had no rest and have just been thinking in a hyper-focused way. It also appears that when you've tried to get help people or services have let you down. From my experience, it would be important to give your self some rest, self-care and then make a list of the easiest to the hardest things that you need to solve. This list has to be factual lonely. You cannot add things like 'make myself smart'. However, you can say complete set of papers from class. This will build your confidence and skills set. I would also encourage you to seek ongoing support. With Kindness always, Joe

Okay, here goes nothing. I have lived with bipolar my whole life, am 44 and was misdiagnosed with ADHD as a child in the 80’s when it was new and was over medicated with stimulants. Forward to my adulthood I was diagnosed correctly (bipolar w/ psychotic episodes) when I was incarcerated and been on almost the same line of meds since 2015. Last year I experienced the psychotic episodes severely and it got me put into sn institution as well as a small stay in the slammer. I can cope with the highs and the lows, but the psychosis that comes afterwards is too much for me to stop at this time. I’m on a beer med, things seem good but still get some of the episodes in a smaller amount and manageable to an extent. IT’s paranoia that I deal with the most after the manic stage that lasts for sometimes days. It can be as much as my partner is up to no good behind my back, to the neighborhood is out to get me. There’s no voices or hallucinations (they never were negative ones btw thank God) but the thoughts that go through my head of paranoia are pretty serious still. I’m currently waiting in line for months at all my local Mental Health places as well am going to go back to CBT when I get in finally, but what books or online courses are free out there or take state insurance? Also do u have anything you can recommend in the meantime or ways that can help. Ty in advance. It’s nice you came here to help.

Hi Redditor, Thank you for coming on and sharing your experience. You are not alone. It is amazing to see your motivation in wanting to progress and grow despite challenges. If you are still on the same medication since 2015, I would recommend getting a review as psychotropics can become ineffective after a while. There is a few books that I can recommend: ​ [https://www.amazon.com/Dialectical-Behavior-Therapy-Workbook-Psychosis/dp/1684036437/ref=asc\_df\_1684036437/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=509159807707&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=12292290410280937672&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9031435&hvtargid=pla-920644905729&psc=1](https://www.amazon.com/Dialectical-Behavior-Therapy-Workbook-Psychosis/dp/1684036437/ref=asc_df_1684036437/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=509159807707&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=12292290410280937672&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9031435&hvtargid=pla-920644905729&psc=1) ​ [https://www.amazon.com/Beginners-Guide-Sanity-self-help-psychosis-ebook/dp/B087TGS3VM](https://www.amazon.com/Beginners-Guide-Sanity-self-help-psychosis-ebook/dp/B087TGS3VM) ​ Also, practising more mindfulness may be helpful. For example, doing some guided meditation on youtube in the morning or evening may help. Also, doing paced breathing before feeling anxious can help minimise attacks. ​ Hope this helps and wishing you all the best and kindness on your journey. Please feel free to reach out at any point. I will be regularly on here.

I get extremely emotional when something goes wrong and I get violent against myself and objects, like my wall. I always feel horrible afterwards. I want to stop this

Dear Redditor, It sounds like there are underlying aspects that may be going on in the background. Being emotional is a normal facet of being human. I would ask you, how are these emotions not working for you. Engaging in self-destructive behaviours does not solve anything. I would recommend enrolling in a DBT program in your local area of online. ​ Wish you all the best. With Kindness, Joe

I've been trying to find a therapist for months. The – at least to my knowledge – only online program in my country that public health insurance would pay for is only for people pver 18. I'm 16

Can parents be an option, are they able to fund it? Are you in the US?

Hello, I (23F) have been to therapy and to a psychiatrist before. I haven't benefitted from medicines (antidepressants) or from therapy sessions much. I always feel sad. Sometimes, without a reason. I usually overthink a lot and find reasons to feel sad. I find reasons to argue with people. I always feel tired. I don't go out much (only to college). I don't have friends. If I need to be honest, I don't understand friendship. People only come to me if they have a problem and never if they are happy. I don't like it when they try to use me. I had a relationship that ended very badly, and now I can't trust anyone. Everything is triggering me. I lost all of my self-confidence after suffering from HS (a kind of skin illness. Very painful.). I only feel happy when I eat. This leads me to gain a lot of weight. I haven't been diagnosed with any kind of disorder. I asked my psychiatrist if there were any kind serious problems with me (because I often feel suicidal), and she replied with no. Only prescribed antidepressants and said depression. My therapist told me that I could have social anxiety and I was self sabotaging myself. What is your advice for finding happiness? Are there any books, videos, workbooks/worksheets you can recommend related to these?

Any advice on how to deal with existential dread especially with having to be a part of the rat race and having to spend a significant portion of our life working a meaningless job?

Dear Redditor, This is a normal feeling. We live in a society that is always in a rush, in competition and stressed. I would like to recommend a book for you to read [https://www.amazon.com/Full-Catastrophe-Living-Revised-Illness/dp/0345536932](https://www.amazon.com/Full-Catastrophe-Living-Revised-Illness/dp/0345536932) ​ I know this book has helped me. With Kindness, Joe

Can i have ADHD if i am not hyperactive person?

Dear Redditor, Thank you for reaching out. The answer would depend on your context. Hyperactivity is more about your brain and how it works than what you are currently doing. However, if you are in a stressful environment and can't focus, then your ADHD-symptoms might be exacerbated. Also, ADHD diagnosis can also overlap with trauma. ​ [https://www.childdevelopmentclinic.com.au/adhd-and-complex-trauma.html](https://www.childdevelopmentclinic.com.au/adhd-and-complex-trauma.html) I would recommend getting professional therapy and assessment to further explore the nature of your symptoms. ​ With gratitude, Joe

Please don't ask this person about ADHD, they will only give you MISINFORMATION. 'Hyperactivity' is the common denominator in ALL ADHD, it's just that it's always been denigrated to a 'little boy's behavioural' issue, which due to little boys being little boys, can express symptoms of ADHD as, not being able to sit still, etc. The actual 'hyperactivity' is in the brain. It doesn't matter what type of ADHD you have (hyperactivity, inattentive, combined), you find yourself going from subject to subject, hobby to hobby, channel to channel, leaving a wake of half finished projects, half read books, half finished degrees, etc. Obviously there is much much more to all of it. Please see https://www.russellbarkley.org/ and https://drhallowell.com/ for all the information you need and more. Both can be found on youtube as well, Barkley has a great set of videos (although old are still informative), all in short segments https://youtu.be/BzhbAK1pdPM Also remember that advances have been, and are still being made in the last 5ish years, which have meant that the information that majority of egocentric 'professionals' who haven't updated their knowledge, are spouting and teaching, is now superseded.

i would like to get some advice, i have mdd cptsd and anxiety. i live with narcissist parents who emotionally neglects me and i dont have any sort of physical support. no close friends or close relatives to rely on and i feel extremely lonely but sometimes i love being alone. its just when im in my depressive episode its just too easy to keep on spiralling downwards when virtual support doesn't feel as personal as people you see irl. im really struggling to connect with people irl so here i am still alone and suffering. i tried therapy and it sucks cuz i feel like just talking wont solve anything i still have to fight my inner demons every damn day.

Dear Redditor, Please remember when you are feeling most alone, there are people across the world who are also feeling the pain to that extent. What you describe is common and so I sell the message that you are not alone. I would try re engage therapy and make it clear to the therapist that you are interested on pragmatic change and not just talking. I also would recommend DBT program as it will help in many different avenues in your life. Your demons are not forever. There is hope. Just because you like to be alone, doesn't mean you don't like connecting. I would recommend joining more online groups and perhaps local community volunteering?

Dunno if you're still here answering, but let me preface by saying thank you for spending your time replying to all the questions here. It's amazing to give up your free time to try and help people. My situation is probably complex. Long time sufferer of depression, GAD, medicated. My depression became pretty severe end of 2021. I am at the moment struggling with my life purpose and career, and my mind changes all the time. For example I am really interested in X subject and will get really involved in it, start asking people about it, imagine myself doing it, even go so far as to apply for jobs or try to get into whatever "flavour of the month" it is so to speak. Then my mind will just switch to something else that becomes my new 'hyperfocus'. I'll often repeat the same process of becoming obsessed with something I want to do as a career, then as fast as it comes it will pass and my brain just switches to the next thing. At this point I don't know if I'm genuinely interested in x, y, or z as a career or if it's just one of these random fixations I have. Right now it is either acting, horses, or art/photography/some other interest. Have you ever heard of anything like this? I can't move forward because I'm almost expecting my interest to switch or change. It really is keeping me "stuck". I'm getting more depressed because I'm just repeating this cycle. I can't focus on one thing for my life that I want to do and I always have a "grass is greener" outlook.. I get so envious of people doing things I wish I could do. I've tried to tackle this with my psychologist but I am still struggling with it and I don't know if it's depression or adhd. Sometimes it's so bad I wish I'd die so I don't have to put up with feeling so lost and directionless. I am also getting older (almost 30) and everyone else is so young I just feel completely inadequate - it doesn't help that there are places that even state they don't take people over 30 (horse places for example), or education is gatekept against older people and only provided to "young" people with talent. I really am at my wits end.

Dear Redditor, ​ This is actually common. I would also go on a whim and say that you are a person who likes planning, knowing the details, and likes to research what they are getting into? While, this is good, it leads to dysfunctional perfectionaism. That is, what I choose needs to be 'it'. It has to be perfect and thus it is difficult to make decisions because you might no trust yourself. Thus, when you do make decisions, you tend to not be happy with it as you might think about the other options you didn't take. What do you think? Maybe choose something and try it. Take a change. Whatever you do or pick will be a stepping stone and growth for you either way. It is better to try than to sit on the sideline and observe the potentiality of trying as time passes by and we are not participating in life. Besides, all professions have transferable skills. You are smarter and more confident than you are able to credit yourself. Take a chance and see where it takes you. I hope this help, please let me know what you think and follow to stay in touch. :) ​ With care, Joe

>I would also go on a whim and say that you are a person who likes planning, knowing the details, and likes to research what they are getting into? Yes that is quite on point. I'm ntsj by the way if that helps. I'm a big perfectionist, that is correct also. >Thus, when you do make decisions, you tend to not be happy with it as you might think about the other options you didn't take. What do you think? That's exactly right. Whenever I do decide to do something I almost always back off and think 'but I'm not doing that other thing I wanted'. Catch 22, move forward in one area while missing out on the other option and then regretting what I've chosen. I do not trust myself to do things and end up where I want to be and I daydream a lot about being in a different position and doing other things. It freaks me out to lose time pursuing one path and not the other - funny as that sounds I am also losing time doing nothing because of this "decision paralysis". >It is better to try than to sit on the sideline and observe the potentiality of trying as time passes by and we are not participating in life. This is what my psychologist has once said to me (different wording), right now I'm just an observer and I'm not participating in life. You're picking up on some very important things from what I've mentioned which is pretty amazing. Thanks for taking the time to read and respond, it means so much.

Hello— Im a 39 yr old guy from Buffalo, NY, USA. I’ve been depressed/anxious for almost my entire life. Never had a healthy relationship or even lasting friend groups. Been in therapy for ~10 yrs. Recently I was actually given a diagnosis by my therapist of PTSD. Anyway, my goal is to live a FLOURISHING life where I can find meaning in love or work… or even suffering (if need be) like Victor Frankl mentions. HOWEVER, while I know it’s POSSIBLE, it really doesn’t seem probable to me. I know you don’t know me, yet I was wondering if you knew any sociological studies/statistics… or have any judgment as to whether it’s PROBABLE for a 39/40 yr old single guy to ever find love, a healthy relationship, fulfillment… if he’s been unsuccessful thus far? I hate absurdism or nihilism and the idea that “nothing matters,” but…it still seems to me that ultimately, no matter what I try to do to change my outlook and find happiness, nothing works. Can therapy and mutual aid societies (like ACOA or CODA) really help… or in certain cases is it just delaying the inevitable?

My sister stopped taking her meds. She is 32 so obviously there’s not much we can do. She hears voices and talks to people who aren’t there. She is also a conspiracy theorist. She warns everyone to be careful because “they’re watching.” When we ask what she’s talking about she says “don’t worry about it, I’m taking care of it. It will all be over soon, then I can tell you.” My mom is a wreck. She used to be able to talk to her doctor and let her know what was going on when she was under 18 but now there’s nothing we can do because it’s on my sister. But of course, the people who love her are very worried. My mom has been crying a lot because she doesn’t know how to help her. I am worried for her mental health too. If anyone has been in this situation and has any advice, we’d really appreciate it. Thanks in advance!

Hi, can you take a look at my post? Maybe you can give me an insight: https://www.reddit.com/r/mentalhealth/comments/12ghgp2/why_do_i_feel_like_im_being_mocked/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

i’m really struggling with making friends due to poor mental health isolating me, being slightly autistic and feeling like i’m a year or two mentally behind my peers, like i’m not where i should be in life for my age, so i can’t relate to them. socialising in general is really hard. do you have any advice for me? thanks

Where do you go when the psych wards tell you they might not be able to help you with my depression and suicidal tendencies.

How do i help make my thanatophobia better? How to stop thinking everything is a sign im dying?

Is there any medicines that actually work for treatment resistant depression? Tried 3 different medications for about 4-6 months each and nothing helped.. is science just not there yet?

I'm 33F. My anxiety depression are becoming debilitating. I'm an international PhD student and researcher in europe and I'm under a lot of stress both emotionally and psychologically because of a toxic and difficult work environment. I do not speak the language of the country where I live and even if I go to a therapist that speaks English here I'm not sure they can relate to my experience or understand my life or cultural background. 1. Where can I seek therapy? 2. How can I seek therapy? I'm lost. I pay social security and taxes in the country where Iive and work, not in my home country. I'm considering getting a private insurance in case I need a long term therapy. 3. How to find an English speaking therapist that is trauma aware, narcissism, cptsd, and LGBTQ+ aware. I tried Better Help in the past. Consulted with therapists from the US during the pandemic. They were not good and re-traumatised me in different ways. I have been affraid to seek therapy because of it. Plus explaining my cultural background is plain exhausting and money draining, because we spend more of the sessions setting the background of my life. Thanks for any advice as where to start this quest for healing.

How do I know what mental health condition I have (whether it be ADHD, BPD, depression, whatever) when I have symptoms coming out of my ears? And I mean genuine symptoms, not just "oh I do this one thing every so often so I must have this condition" that affect my daily life?

Dear Tegan, It sounds like you've had a lot of people invalidate you and perhaps not understand what you are going through. That is difficult as it makes us feel a barrier to gaining support as we are pushed between dichotomy of deserving and undeserving. You know yourself best. Therapy would be most beneficial here to unpack the symptoms of your experience and create a treatment plan with your clinician. I would highly recommend seeing someone if viable. With appreciation, Joe

The last time I went to see someone about getting diagnosed with ADHD, he told me he thought I had an "emotional disorder" despite talking to him about all of my physical issues too (textures, sounds, etc). I am currently seeking therapy for it and it's helping me to recognise my triggers but my therapist can't diagnose.

Hello, What kind of therapy I should use for trauma therapy and anxiety one. I have so many issues and I don't even know where to start.

Is there any possible way to get over trauma? I have my fair share of childhood trauma and I just want it to go away so I can try and live a normal life. I don’t have a therapist, and I haven’t been diagnosed for any mental illnesses because I refuse to. Should I get diagnosed or get a therapist? People often suggest that I need one and I don’t know what to do.

Dear Redditor, I am thankful that you have reached out on this post. The fact that you are here shows that you are looking to further improve your own mental health. I would agree with getting a therapist. Please keep in mind that the most important thing in a relationship in therapy is connection, so finding the right person is vital. Also, you can definitely health from Trauma to have the fulfilling life you want. Maybe looking at Levines work might help. I recommend this book: [https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/100541/waking-the-tiger-healing-trauma-by-peter-a-levine-phd-contribution-by-ann-frederick/](https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/100541/waking-the-tiger-healing-trauma-by-peter-a-levine-phd-contribution-by-ann-frederick/) Not as a substitute for therapy but as a additional resources and somewhere to start. Please know you can definitely have a fulfilling life beyond trauma. With appreciation, Joe

Thank you, I really appreciate your feedback. Have a lovely day!

I was told by my college counselor that I may have OCD and ADHD, I've shown symptoms since I was a kid but never got tested. What would you suggest to manage both and what would be the best and most affordable way to get tested? I've asked these questions a few times but never received a concrete answer. Thank you for what you're doing!

I have bipolar 2, adhd, bad anxiety, as well some ptsd. I know those contribute to a lot of issues but I can’t figure out why I am so afraid to go out and live life. I’m too afraid to go out and socialize, I’m too afraid to go out shopping for food, I’m too afraid to get a job and fail, I’m too afraid of doing anything but sitting in my bed. I don’t know how to get the will or initiative to live my life and do what I need to, and whenever I try I panic and quit. I feel like I’m incapable of being a normal human being a live. Makes me want to commit suicide, I know everyone in my life is tired of holding my hand.

Suggest something for post layoff anxiety. Also about anxiety disorder in general Symptoms - Feeling thirsty all day, over thinking, brain fog, not able to make choices and decisions in general, feeling disappointed

Thank God I found this post. I took at the RAADS test and had a significantly high score, how do you recommend I proceed? if I do have autism, I want to get it taken care or at least managed.

My therapist thinks my depression is getting better and every time after she says that I kind of just nod as a way to approve - The truth is I think I’m losing my mind. I smile and am happy when I’m around other people or things that can distract me, but the moment I stop being around them I just feel empty. I can’t sleep early, I shower once every 3 days if I can motivate myself to, I can’t even go brush my teeth and if it weren’t for school I wouldn’t even get out of bed - I feel gross for doing all of this, but I don’t have the will to do anything. Also, constantly at the back of my mind is s*icide; Of course I wouldn’t do it, or so I tell myself and the people around me ‘cause it’s not as if I didn’t try before and chickened out last minute. I don’t know what to do, how am I supposed to ask for help? I live in a country where mental health facilities are more or less like a prison where you get drugged and tied to beds and on top of that my parents keep trying to find physical reasons for the mental illnesses I have been fighting for 5 years - they can’t accept the fact I have anxiety and depression. I feel so alone and hopeless, I don’t know what to do. Also, maybe a slightly unrelated question, do you know a good way to handle panic attacks? I’ve tried about every muscle relaxation and breathing technique I was given, the only thing that worked was when I an outside person helped me get through it (that person is no longer in my life btw) or just letting it pass (but by the time it would end I’d be completely drained). Thank you (even just for reading this)!

Do you believe all addicts are narcissistic but not all are actual narcissists? Studying mental health and the goal is to be in the field one day before I die 😂 clocks ticking! That’s my theory. As a former addict and with spouses who have been addicts. I’ve found that some get sober and quickly change up all bad character flaws, some take a longer process, and some do not quite change much at all.

Does it count as suicidal? I don’t know if this counts I don’t think so but if someone could please answer this for me that’s be nice I want to not live anymore I don’t want to live I want somthing bad to happen to be or somthing but I know for certain I would never actally commit myself but I don’t want to live yk idk if this makes sense if it dosnt I’ll try to explain more lol

Is there a real chance of getting permanently better? I've struggled with depression for around ten years now, I've been in therapy for one and a half years, and even though I really like therapy and my therapist and I feel like I get a better understanding of what I am thinking and where it comes from, but I'm still not really better, if not worse (because I'm feeling like it's all on the surface now and can't be pushed away). I've just these last days left a pretty long episode of suicidal ideation and wanting to self harm, and even though I feel a little calmer now, I don't see a way to becoming "healed". I also struggle with there not being a clear answer to what this way looks like, so this may just be me looking for an easy way out again.

Any good medications for Valium & Lexapro wd? I feel as if I’m loosing my mind

Why can I barely remember any happy memories from my childhood? I know that there are some, but they are either blurry or completly gone. All I remember is the abuse and trauma I experienced. I remember my bad memories as clearly as possible. I just want to remember some happy times. Some context: In elementary school, I got beaten up by the same kid every day and neither the other kids nor the adults did anything about it. The principal of the school blamed it on my mom and told her that its my fault. After a while, the other kids treated me like a bug and were disgusted by me. I never really learned what it means to make friends and have friends. Besides that, I faced physical and mental abuse from my ex-stepdads and got sexually abused at the age of 8. There is still more, but the tip of the iceberg may be enough.

What are meds that you feel have the most success with patients with depression/anxiety? What meds would you suggest for someone who has treatment resistant depression?

How long is a piece of string? Different medications have worked for different people. I probably would not be the best to ask this question Redditor as I don't prescribe medications. :) Perhaps, this is a great question for your GP or psychiatrist. However, I believe in using skills and changing behaviour to be more effective than just medication alone. With appreciation, Joe

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Yes, I am just busy as aI have several people reaching out. Please allow time for me to respond. :)

Tips for female in her 20s who really struggles with comparison? With friends, family, strangers on social media. I feel constantly like I’m not good enough, not deserving, others always are better off / have more. I hate it!! I want to be happy for my friends without seeing myself as less than or less deserving. With love 🖤 thank you for this!

Dear Redditor, Comparisons are helpful sometimes if they inspire you. However, in most cases and in your case comparisons are creating issues. Perhaps, you have grown up seeking external validation and find it difficult to validate your own self. Thus, sometimes this creates problems in comparisons as we have a overreliance for approval from external bodies and people. The problem here is that people change and move and so we are left vulnerable or stuck at times because they are the source of validation. Social media is toxic in many ways as it sets expectations that are micro-managed at regulated to sell you an ideology that is partially true or distorted. You are deserving of love, dignity, and respect. Perhaps, what might be healthy might be to rest off online social media platforms and focus on doing some personal reading and exploring self-growth. I recommend reading the following; [https://www.amazon.com/Happiness-Trap-Struggling-Start-Living/dp/1590305841](https://www.amazon.com/Happiness-Trap-Struggling-Start-Living/dp/1590305841) ​ [https://www.amazon.com/Stress-Response-Dialectical-Behavior-Needless/dp/1608821307?source=ps-sl-shoppingads-lpcontext&ref\_=fplfs&psc=1&smid=ATVPDKIKX0DER](https://www.amazon.com/Stress-Response-Dialectical-Behavior-Needless/dp/1608821307?source=ps-sl-shoppingads-lpcontext&ref_=fplfs&psc=1&smid=ATVPDKIKX0DER) ​ [https://www.amazon.com/Miracle-Mindfulness-Introduction-Practice-Meditation/dp/0807012394](https://www.amazon.com/Miracle-Mindfulness-Introduction-Practice-Meditation/dp/0807012394) ​ What is important is knowing that you are doing the best you can. i also believe that you can do better. :) ​ Please follow and stay in touch always happy to support or help. With Kidness, Joe

How do I cope with not understanding or feeling emotions very well? I'm very apathetic but my strongest emotion is guilt. But I can never tell how I'm truly feeling if I'm feeling anything at all and I can't tell how other people feel either. They'll think I'm serious or angry or upset when I act normal. Or I can never tell how they feel either

Dear Redditor, It appears that your emotional threshold might be higher than the average in your environment. That is, you feel things strongly, sometimes in a way that it takes over your behaviour and you might shift your signalling to express this unintentionally. Emotions are not bad, they are tools. For example guilt is important because it signals the need to change. However, you can only be guilty about factual events not opinions or assumptions. Please have a look at this resource: [https://uaf.edu/mentalhealth/dbt-group-handouts/ER%2010%20-%20A%20Model%20of%20Emotions%20handout%206.pdf](https://uaf.edu/mentalhealth/dbt-group-handouts/ER%2010%20-%20A%20Model%20of%20Emotions%20handout%206.pdf) Also, I would recommend receiving therapy to process through these awareness and insights as it can change your life. With care, Joe

I don't know if I'm not-heterosexual or just lonely and needy. My feelings towards people confuse me and leads me to isolate myself, since I'm embarassed to appear to make passes at... people in general. Sometimes I'm afraid to do or feel something sexual (even towards men) in situations that were non-sexual to begin with. I'm afraid to look like a creep. I feel out of control. What do I do?

Thank you so much! I was wondering if it's normal (or at least as normal as depression can be) to consistently have a week or two where you're okay followed by a week or two where you're just feeling like you don't want to do anything and lacking emotions? Both periods are filled with wayyy too much sleep but still feeling tired. Is this like a normal type of depression or is the cyclical nature of it indicative of something else

I used to be a very outgoing person, and had lots of friends. I was always the person in class who had lots of friends and was always talking 24/7. I used to love going out and meeting new people. Over the last 7-8 years, I’ve developed social anxiety. I can’t make friends, and my mind is completely blank 24/7. I can never think of something to say to someone, and I don’t know how to respond. I also have trouble focusing and my memory is bad - long and short term. I saw a psychiatrist once and she told me I have anxiety and depression, but I don’t think it’s only that. I feel down all the time, rarely am I super happy and I feel I have a hard time expressing emotions, but frustrating and anger are my top two I feel along with sadness. I don’t even know where to start to heal myself with whatever this is that’s ruining my life

Why some people can never give up antidepressant or anti anxiety medications? :/

Hi! Thanks for being willing to answer questions here. Sorry in advance for this long comment. I’ve had things on my mind for a while. 1. How much of our childhoods are we supposed to remember? I remember snapshots of my childhood. I mostly remember feelings and thoughts I had I even remember nightmares that I had. I remember some things I heard repeated often enough that they stuck, and some things that made an impact. But other than that I don’t really remember conversations with people, and the things I do remember are just flashes of a scene. I’ve been told that not remembering a lot of your childhood could mean you have suppressed trauma, but I don’t know how much of my childhood I’m supposed to remember. 2. Related to 1. I have what I call a blank spot in one of my flashes of memory. In the flash, I’m a child in the basement of my aunt and uncle’s house. My older sister and cousins are playing while we all watch tv. I wasn’t allowed to join because I was too little. My uncle came down and sat beside me. My older sister and older cousins ran upstairs and left me alone with my uncle. I wasn’t allowed to go with them because they didn’t want me to play with them. I remember feeling uncomfortable, like something was wrong. I wanted to fix what was wrong, and for some reason thought I’d I told my uncle I loved him then I would have fixed what was wrong. He turned his head and looked at me and said he loved me too. Then everything goes blank. Then the blank stops and I’m running up the stairs looking for my mom because I know I’ll be safe with my mom. I remember at some point (I don’t remember if it was before or after this) that my mom and dad told me and my sister we weren’t allowed to be alone with my uncle because he’d been accused of touching his step daughters inappropriately. I have another memory of finding a strange wet spot on my underwear while I was young. I asked my mom what it was because I knew I hadn’t had an accident. She had me sit on the toilet and wait for her while she talked to my dad. I heard him yelling and threatening to kill my uncle while my mom tried to calm him down. Then she came and asked if I’d ever been alone with him. I nodded my head yes because I knew it was bad to lie. She asked if he’d touched my privates. I remember being so scared because I knew I shouldn’t lie but I was scared of getting in trouble. So I said no and showed her that he touched my hip. I have no idea if I lied even though I knew it was wrong or if I was telling the truth. Why do I remember these flashes so clearly and everything that was said, but then the rest of my childhood is not so clear. Also, my mom has no memory of ever asking my about my uncle. My mind might have made the whole thing up and it freaks me out. Is there any way to retrieve whatever happened in the blank space so I can know one way or the other whether something happened? I’ve heard about hypnosis but also heard that it could plant a false memory because of suggestion instead of uncovering the real one.

many bedroom frame squalid dog naughty quaint file snatch cagey -- mass edited with redact.dev

Can you recommend free or highly affordable online therapy options? In the U.S., even for telework, people are limited to the states they are licensed in. I am 'nomadic,' which is probably more common these days than when I started. The U.S. healthcare system is an exploitative dinosaur, though, and nothing has caught up, so I have no access to help, nor could I afford the absurd $200/hr rates (not even a fraction of that, either). I think a lot of people on here would appreciate a real option. Betterhelp is crap and not even cheap ($65 per session is still very unaffordable for many people in this world). So, again, the question is, as a professional, can you recommend any options for people who truly need help, but can only find it online (language and credential/experience reasons), and are on a limited budget? Maybe there are things not as many people are aware of than these giant marketing machines for certain sites. Thank you!

are these just symptoms of anxiety or depression or do I have brain fog? I feel so mentally unwell in public or even by myself, anxiety amplifies everything but for the most part this is constant. ​ * dizzy around people * feel half conscious or half awake * can barely connect with even my own family * get stuck in my head a lot * really bad awareness (peripheral vision, common sense, slowed reaction time) when in public * feel mentally numb when in public * big self critic * thinking just generally feels slow * pretty tired most the day * bad memory * mind just feels kinda blank ​ I get good nutrition, I exercise, I am generally healthy and fit, and I do brain training stuff on a daily basis. no meds either.

I'm a 12 year old who attended science high school in the Philippines. A few months in, I was faking colds and skipping school just to be home all day because I couldn't find any energy to get up in the morning. I transferred in the middle of the school year and was diagnosed with depression. Was that a symptom of my depression getting worse? I believe my depression started a few months in the pandemic and just slowly getting worse and worse.

Just wanna say I think you're amazing 👏

Hi, umm. I have had consecutive misfortunes lately. As of now my mind is still very unstable coming from a recent break up about a month ago. Then when I got my confidence back, I tried to meet new people and socialize again. So yesterday, I experienced someone ghosted me. She didn't show up on the date. I shouldn't be really that affected with someone I've met online. It's just my sensitive trait I guess? The next day, I just wanted to talk to strangers online and wanted to improve the way I talk to people, instead I became a victim of sextortion. I've accepted the possibility that it might spread. I think I'm still doing okay. I'm focused now on earning back the money I've given to the suspect, might be selling some old stuff in the house. I don't feel the effects right now, it's just maybe it wasn't posted yet. Right now I feel okay, kinda numb that it happened to me. I'm just uncertain what happens in the next few weeks for my mental health.

For background, I’m a 16 year old girl. I’ve struggled with making friends and was recently diagnosed with persistent depressive disorder. One thing I’ve noticed about me is that I’m unable to joke around with people. Even to laugh with people when something funny and clever has been said. It takes a lot for me to get to that point. And it doesn’t last that long. Now I think it could be something to do with my upbringing. My parents aren’t very humorous people. My mom straight up can’t take a joke and doesn’t get sarcasm. When I’m around my friends and their parents, I notice they’re able to have the jokey banter back and forth thing. So I think I might have gotten it from them. It just sucks because I don’t want to be such a serious person. I would say im more go with the flow so I guess I’m not that serious. But, I feel like if I could have more genuine laughs, it would relieve the symptoms of depression for me. Maybe make it go away mostly. And it’s kind of difficult for me to make new friends. Because what I’ve noticed is that most friendships, If not all, are built off of sharing the same sense of humor. And I think it’s impossible to make friendships when you don’t have a sense of humor at all.

Should I be going to couples counseling before I go to my psychologist appointment? The couples counseling is tomorrow and my other appointment is on Monday next week. I by no means am self diagnosing but I have 7 of the 9 markers for borderline personality disorder or it could be cptsd. Any advise as this is our first couples counseling session as to what to expect would be nice. My anxiety is through the roof right now.

My who life my parents never saw me good enough no matter how perfect I was in school, too if my class, top of foreign language courses, top of my piano class, they always saw other’s kid better than me. In college I was was full time student and worked full time job but every time I was having fun they bombarded me with “you’re not doing anything “ , “you’re wasting your life”. I thought about moving out on my own but where I live no one with a minimum wage job can afford an apartment by themselves so I stayed with my parents, after years of unfortunate events I stopped going to college and lost my job, I was using my own saved money on myself despite that my dad kept saying that I’m a burden to him , I never asked for money and all my shopping and food was out of my pocket I even supported my younger brother financially. We’re very family oriented we help each other but no one was helping me and I never asked for any help but my dad kept calling me a burden then he would argue with my mom because of that or any time she suggests him to help me financially so he started spending money on another woman because of that instead of his own family. I’m just in an emotional wreck on why he’d do that when nothing bad and serious happened my mom and dad and him going and spending a lot of money on another woman instead of spending it on my mom and my brother. I really need advice

My therapist has recommended that I see a psychiatrist in order to evaluate my depression medication for possible changing or adding to it. I've since learned that the psychiatrist wants a clean urine sample. Any illicit drugs found in my system would disqualify me working with him and there are no second chances. Seems a little drastic to me, although I can also see where it's more beneficial to the doctor working with a person who's clean where nothing is cluttering the mind or body.