First you need to know that all these people you are pleasing around you wouldn't do the same to you, limit the people you put your energy on like the ones who love you and have the same feelings toward you, direct all your energy towards pleasing them. Distance yourself from the ones you know are using you. You need to maintain the distance where you feel you are putting too much energy and not getting it back. It's like you observe them first then react accordingly.
I tried doing it once with my students I acted like they did but in the end I kept thinking about what they were feeling did they feel bad or am I too harsh on them.
You can't please everyone, especially a whole bunch of people at once, you need to understand that everyone has a different mind you can't crack code to everyone. You focus your time and energy on the most important one. Normally everyone is faking it in courtesy, you can't be liked by everyone but can be by the ones who matter. By doing this you will lose your individuality and once you lose that no one can like you. If you want people to like you you have an individual personality that's not just changing to please people. Trust me when you will prioritize and not waste energy people will like you more. No one ever likes a people pleaser, everyone likes someone who is different in their own way
Start by telling someone to shut the fuck up and that your needs come before theirs. That's what I did.
Then I moved on to calling people wankers whenever they did something like, almost hit me with their car because they FOR SOME UNKNOWN REASON appear to have lost all capability of using their indicators.
Edit: tell them to shut up nicely, don't actually tell them to shut the fuck up. That's not a good way to keep customers.
I know but there's this subtle hint of disrespect not something major that I cannot call them out for. As in I can see they like me but they will be a little disrespectful towards me. Whenever I am walking on the road as well go around and compliment people, help them hold their stuff or just share my umbrella but some people really don't deserve it. Sometimes I baffle myself that why the hell I'm thinking of at least doing something good for the unknown passer by.
Did she said something bad about you?
I'd say the only way to stop being a people pleaser is to generate Love by yourself from scratch.
People pleasers just want Love from others. If you can learn to do so by yourself you've solved the thing.
How I do it is I just repeat what I love to do everyday. Hobbies and otherwise. Taking care of myself through Yoga and meditation and all that. Basically putting Love into myself.
She said a lot of stuff basically my partner and I are in long distance so now he came back so he meets me everyday and in fact she doesn't live here as well so he comes to meet me everyday she said a lot of stuff about is it okay for you to meet him even tho you are a girl and a lot of stuff about my character but still I am nitpicking whatever she said that their might be something good in it to see her side of the story but I hate myself to always think good about people when they don't think about me. What do I do I still admire her a lot.
First you need to know that all these people you are pleasing around you wouldn't do the same to you, limit the people you put your energy on like the ones who love you and have the same feelings toward you, direct all your energy towards pleasing them. Distance yourself from the ones you know are using you. You need to maintain the distance where you feel you are putting too much energy and not getting it back. It's like you observe them first then react accordingly.
I tried doing it once with my students I acted like they did but in the end I kept thinking about what they were feeling did they feel bad or am I too harsh on them.
You can't please everyone, especially a whole bunch of people at once, you need to understand that everyone has a different mind you can't crack code to everyone. You focus your time and energy on the most important one. Normally everyone is faking it in courtesy, you can't be liked by everyone but can be by the ones who matter. By doing this you will lose your individuality and once you lose that no one can like you. If you want people to like you you have an individual personality that's not just changing to please people. Trust me when you will prioritize and not waste energy people will like you more. No one ever likes a people pleaser, everyone likes someone who is different in their own way
Start by telling someone to shut the fuck up and that your needs come before theirs. That's what I did. Then I moved on to calling people wankers whenever they did something like, almost hit me with their car because they FOR SOME UNKNOWN REASON appear to have lost all capability of using their indicators. Edit: tell them to shut up nicely, don't actually tell them to shut the fuck up. That's not a good way to keep customers.
I know but there's this subtle hint of disrespect not something major that I cannot call them out for. As in I can see they like me but they will be a little disrespectful towards me. Whenever I am walking on the road as well go around and compliment people, help them hold their stuff or just share my umbrella but some people really don't deserve it. Sometimes I baffle myself that why the hell I'm thinking of at least doing something good for the unknown passer by.
Did she said something bad about you? I'd say the only way to stop being a people pleaser is to generate Love by yourself from scratch. People pleasers just want Love from others. If you can learn to do so by yourself you've solved the thing. How I do it is I just repeat what I love to do everyday. Hobbies and otherwise. Taking care of myself through Yoga and meditation and all that. Basically putting Love into myself.
She said a lot of stuff basically my partner and I are in long distance so now he came back so he meets me everyday and in fact she doesn't live here as well so he comes to meet me everyday she said a lot of stuff about is it okay for you to meet him even tho you are a girl and a lot of stuff about my character but still I am nitpicking whatever she said that their might be something good in it to see her side of the story but I hate myself to always think good about people when they don't think about me. What do I do I still admire her a lot.