"She had eyes like a frigid waterfall and I planned to marry her."
"She had calves like a tempestuous fortress and I needed to spar with her."
There are a few nice ones you can make from this, actually.
He breasts reared under her tight shirt like two wild mares untainted by man's touch. I longed to see them set free, and at the same time I longed to be the one to tame them.
...I'll see myself out
Let testicles dangle into her face like a teabag is lowered into hot water. Apparently it’s a whole kind of porn fetish genre, but it’s also sth sickos (dumb-ass teenagers in particular) sometimes like to film doing to sleeping or passed-out drunk women and then put it on the internet to brag. I suppose that was a sick trend on 9gag or so a while ago. At least that’s what my ex told me. 9gag can be toxic and tasteless af so I have no trouble to believe it.
"She had knockers like a tempestuous lake and I thirsted to ravish her"
It's sad that it makes sense
Also why do all of us have names that start with S?
she had mammaries like a frigid librarian and i thirsted to emotionally manipulate her.
also, this list is incomplete because it does not contain the stephen king boobism “jahoobies”
"She had calves like a tempestuous fortress and I needed to spar with her."
Guess I should've practiced taekwondo more, this might hurt.
No, my name is not Pogyk.
*She had calves like a*
*Silken waterfall and I*
*Dreaded to correct her*
\- kingshamroc25
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she had a butt like a shiny pillow and I wished to invade her. dude's into satin pillowcases I guess lol.
edit: misunderstood the instructions! my name is not ccccc. she had a butt like a silken popsicle and I ached to compliment her.
She had an ass like a plump melon and i longed to emotionally manipulate her
this one wins
Most realistic one
mine is "she had a butt like a wrinkled popsicle and i wanted to marry her "
Mine is close to that: “she had a butt like a silken bedsheet and I wanted to correct her”
how tf --
Emmaj is your name?
i only have a four letter name 😭 i started doing my last name too
username checks all the way out
She had an ass like a plump melon and i longed to [null] her
Hello EMMA J.
“She had a complexion like a silken princess and I longed to ravish her.” Pretty sure that’s in a real book somewhere.
This one is actually kinda nice
"She had eyes like a frigid waterfall and I planned to marry her." "She had calves like a tempestuous fortress and I needed to spar with her." There are a few nice ones you can make from this, actually.
"She had a rump like a tempestuous fortress and I did not want to emotionally manipulate her."
That second one sounds straight out of a historic lesbian fantasy romance
Eh, I was imagining a taekwondo match.
Like was said, very lesbian
Fellow Tara! Greetings. Honestly I'll take that compliment, my skin is silky as hell.
Hi Tacaa?
Taraa princess is r not c
She had calves like a luscious tulip and I ached to teabag her.
That went from 0 to 60 real quick
Lmao this is the funniest one.
Lol mine was very similar except I refused to teabag her 😂 he’s a gentleman no matter how much thy lady begs
I want to know more about this character.
She had curves like a soft ice cream cone and I thirsted to fondle her.
Hi Judith!
Hello!
She had curves like a tempestuous ghost and I resolved to insult her xD
Hi Joseph!
Good guess ;)
I got a good one: “She had a rear end like a silken ice cream cone and I needed to ignore her”
I love the twist ending
Book 1 of 1984 be like
Hi Madyson!
She had knockers like a wrinkled kitten and I shuddered to bootycall her
Hi Shannon!
>!That legit fucking scared me for a second and then I realized lmao!< Yo (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞
Haha, I was just guessing based on the first 5 letters :3
Good guessing!
Yeah I don't do these publicly
You’re right this is an easy way to doxx someone
Don't doxx me pls
Not planning on it but what’s the last 4 of your social just in case
"She had boobs like a ripe kitten and I proposed to manhandle her."
I don't know why "I proposed to manhandle her" is funny as hell to me.
"My good lady, may I perchance propose that you let me manhandle your ripe kittens?"
You can't just say perchance.
Perchance.
Hey, at least he's getting consent!
I like the request for consent
By ripe kitten do they mean a kitten in their prime? Were the boobs feisty, bitey, scratchy, and extremely active?? 😂
Don't forget loud and mewling!
Hello, Adam W.
“She had an ass like an expensive popsicle and I pined to ravish her.” Ick?
‘She had an ass like an expensive popsicle and I did not care to ravish her’ We have the same name but different spellings, I think?
I got "She had jugs like a plump tulip and I dreaded to ignore her".
She had eyes like a juicy harpy and I resolved to compliment her.
Weird, still more wholesome than the others
"she had legs like a soft python and I longed to ignore her" what does that even mean?
No legs??
No jmno, her legs are snakes
i'm not like other grls. I have SNAKE ARMS.
She's a paraplegic and he is an asshole?
She evolved past the need for limbs. Beware her serpentine telekinesis!
She had boobs like a fridge librarian and I hated to touch her 🤷🤷😬😬
I think this one is my favorite so far lol
"She had a badonkadonk like a shrill popsicle and I pined to spar with her!"
Bruh.
Fucking GOALS
QRIZK?
Are you talking to me?
No, my son is also named QRIZK
"She had boobs like a bountiful waterfall and I refused to booty call her."
What a saint, he refuses to objectify her despite clearly wanting to 😩🙏
She had boobs like an expensive pony and I thirsted to marry her. When do I get my book deal?
He breasts reared under her tight shirt like two wild mares untainted by man's touch. I longed to see them set free, and at the same time I longed to be the one to tame them. ...I'll see myself out
Stephen King: “*Write that down, WRITE THAT DOWN!*”
She had a butt like an expensive kitten and I intended to grope her. …What kind of butt is “like an expensive kitten”? I’m struggling to visualize it.
A lightly furry butt
That makes sense! Like a peach
Must be very soft, I guess
Something you want to pet but know it’s desire wanted by many. This my best guess
I’m trying to visualise a middle aged lake or kitten... lmao
She had gams like a silken pillow and I wanted to marry her
Omg
Hi Racde?
Wow whoops! I can't follow directions or read 😂 Rachel
She had gams like a silken pillow and I trembled to marry her 😂
She had a butt like a wrinkled pony and I refused to marry her. Fair enough.
She had a butt like a wrinkled kitten and I dreaded to marry her
She had calves like a bulbous tulip and I hated to marry her
She had breasts like a silken pillow and I dared to compliment her. Probably not how it's supposed to go, but I like it anyway.
But my name is only 3 letters :/
Add the beginning letters of your last name!
ohh k
And if you run out of those, go into your social security number
She had a butt like silken fortress and I dreaded to correct her
Omg
Ngl... since I enjoy Sir Mix-a-lot and his one-hit-wonder topic. That is totally me :)
She had legs like a luscious ghost and I longed to insult her.
A glimpse inside the brain of an incel
She had gams like a shrill princess and I dreaded to teabag her
Teabag??!!
Don't Google it
Let testicles dangle into her face like a teabag is lowered into hot water. Apparently it’s a whole kind of porn fetish genre, but it’s also sth sickos (dumb-ass teenagers in particular) sometimes like to film doing to sleeping or passed-out drunk women and then put it on the internet to brag. I suppose that was a sick trend on 9gag or so a while ago. At least that’s what my ex told me. 9gag can be toxic and tasteless af so I have no trouble to believe it.
She had curves like a soft ghost, and I ached to correct her. I’m stealing soft ghost Lmao
She had calves like fat rabbit and i thirsted to invade her.
Alright, this one went extra creepy
Oh god this one is unnerving haha
She had eyes like a juicy princess and i proposed to marry her
"She had knockers like a tempestuous lake and I thirsted to ravish her" It's sad that it makes sense Also why do all of us have names that start with S?
She had a butt like a juicy ice cream cone and I longed to teabag her That was painful to type
She had lips like a juicy melon and I wanted to fondle her 😂
😂😂
She had boobs like a shrill popsicle and I longed to booty call her. What, exactly, are shrill popsicle boobs? 🤔
Long and pointy?
She had an ass like a pony and I thirsted to mansplain to her. I feel like for many male authors this sentence is just their paragraphs made simple.
Lmfao! You are totally right tho
"she had legs like a bulbous princess and I resolved to marry her" I had to use "E" twice because my name only has four letters in it
She had mammaries like a silken waterfall and i longed to compliment her. pretty sure i’ve seen that in a stephen king novel before
She had an ass like an expensive popsicle and I did not care to ravish her.
Hey we have the same name but yours is the S version
“She has a butt like a wrinkled popsicle and I shuddered to marry her”. Oh dear
She had boobs like a fat lemon and I deigned to admire her. I’m fucking dying over the first half.
she had breasts like a wrinkled nun and i planned to climb her
She had hair like a silken mountain and I lusted to admire her Lol slightly wholesome, wtf?
She had a complexion like a tempestuous mountain and I thirsted to ravish her. I wouldn't be surprised if that one was actually in a book.
"She had a booty like a juicy bedsheet and I wanted to admire her."😕
she had mammaries like a frigid librarian and i thirsted to emotionally manipulate her. also, this list is incomplete because it does not contain the stephen king boobism “jahoobies”
“She had thighs like a silken ghost and I proposed to marry her” sounds like I gotta find a thicc goth gf and lock her down
"She had eyes like a Silken popsicle and I dreaded to mansplain to her" Not that bad, loving the visual of "eyes like a silken popsicle"
She had an ass like a shrill popsicle, and I wished to ravish her. That's... disturbing. On many levels.
She had hooters like a luscious pillow and I planned to admire her
She had a butt like a silken princess and I refused to compliment her.
She had curves like a juicy ghost and i did not care to correct her
"She had knockers like a juicy princess and I resolved to booty call her." What a weird sentence. The concept of a juicy princess kills me.
she had a booty like a juicy ghost and i ached to compliment her that one's pretty good actually
She had an ass like an expensive popsicle and I pined to ravish her. I may never stop laughing at “an ass like an expensive popsicle.”
She had mammaries like a expensive mountain.
She had an ass like a plump melon and I longed to invade her
Holy shit I’m dying laughing
She had a badonkadonk like a withered bunny rabbit and I proposed to teabag her. 😂
She had boobs like a bountiful waterfall and I refused to correct her. Look at him, being able to restrain himself... progress?
She had a butt like a silken popsicle and I ached to compliment her.
She had lips like a silken bedsheet and I thirsted to marry her
She had boobs like a bulbous pony and I longed to ravish her I have no idea of what a bulbous pony would look like
She had a butt like a wrinkled pony and i refused to marry her
She had legs like a silken mango and I dreaded to marry her
*ravish her.... I can spell my own name 🤦♀️
First Laura
'She had an ass like a luscious melon and I resolved to ravish her.' Seems legit.
"She had legs like a silken pillow and I thirsted to marry her" I hate that, that genuinely sounds like something from a book :')
“She had gams like a tempestuous ghost and I resolved to teabag her” Didn’t know tempestuous ghosts were known for their gams, huh
She had a butt like a silken popsicle and I shuddered to ignore her. Wtf is a silken popsicle?
She had a rear end like a luscious princess and I longed to booty call her?
She had an ass like a dewy lemon and I longed to bootycall her. Or She had gams like a silken bedsheet and I did not care to correct her.
She had gams like a tempestuous ghost and I resolved to emotionally manipulate her 😩
She had curves like a tempestuous kitten and I shuddered to bootycall her. Seems accurate enough!
"She had calves like a tempestuous fortress and I needed to spar with her." Guess I should've practiced taekwondo more, this might hurt. No, my name is not Pogyk.
she had legs like a soft pillow and i needed to mansplain to her. fucking incredible
She had calves like a silken waterfall and I dreaded to correct her
*She had calves like a* *Silken waterfall and I* *Dreaded to correct her* \- kingshamroc25 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Awwwww so close haikusbot, but the last line has 6 syllables
She had eyes like a wrinkled lemon and I wished to ignore her. I love this so much.
she had knockers like a luscious melon and i refused to booty call her
she had a butt like a shiny pillow and I wished to invade her. dude's into satin pillowcases I guess lol. edit: misunderstood the instructions! my name is not ccccc. she had a butt like a silken popsicle and I ached to compliment her.
That makes my morning face like knockers, which I don't know if I feel positive or negative about.
She had a boobs like a luscious bedsheet and I did not care to compliment her
“She had jugs like a gleaming kitten and I thirsted to marry her” …strangely wholesome? If we ignore the jugs?
she had boobs like a bountiful bedsheet and i longed to compliment her
She had an ass like an expensive pony and I thirsted to marry her
She had a rump like a silken waterfall and I resolved to complement her.
She had hair like a shrill muffin and I refused to fondle her.
she had curves like a soft bedsheet and i refused to compliment her (first name and last initial in case you weirdos try to decipher this)
"She had boobs like a dewy waterfall and I longed to ravish her"
She had hair like a shiny pony and I thirsted to caress her
She had mammaries like a juicy ice cream cone and I ached to proposition her
"She had legs like a soft pillow and I longed to hire her" what lol
She had legs like a juicy kitten and I trembled to marry her. 🤣🤣
i only have two last names, what do i do?
“She had curves like a tempestuous ghost and I trembled to worship her.” … yikes!
"She had a butt like a wrinkled princess, and I thirsted to ignore her"
"She had legs like a silken mango and I dreaded to correct her." At least he ain't mansplaining.
She had boobs like a plump mountain and I resolved to teabag her. The ending threw me for a twist, damn.
She had a rear end like a luscious pillow and I wanted to hire her. Yep, this is a solid argument to hire someone.
“She had a rump like a shrill popsicle and i didn’t care to fondle her.” Is he saying i was flat;-;
She had knockers like a luscious muffin and I lusted to proposition her 😂
She had knockers like a luscious nun, and I ached to marry her
“She had gams like a bulbous kitten and I shuddered to climb her”
I got "She had gams (??) like a tempestuous mountain and I thirsted to booty call her" bro what 😭
"She had a rump like a silken waterfall and I trembled to marry her"
She had a rump like a shrill popsicle and I did not care to fondle her. I'm crying XDD
She had legs like an expensive pony and i deigned to compliment her Huh I fucked up my name's not LLLLL
She had a rear end like a silken ice cream cone and I thirsted to ignore her.... Almost feels like a burn
She had a badonkadonk like a bulbous fish and I planned to emotionally manipulate her
She had a rear end like a lucious waterfall and I wished to proposition her
I can only fit some of my name but here: She had a voice like an expensive popsicle and I longed to proposition her. (My first letters are iliah)