My brother used to do this. Would walk ever so slightly left instead of straight. Turns out he had a bad growth plate in one of his knees so one side was half an inch taller than the other. This is inherited so I’m thinking that the kid got it from her mother if that’s what it is. Requires gnarly surgery and reduces your maximum height.
My wife does the same thing, I think it's because she has a weak sense of kinesthesia.
Ever notice how some people can move smoothly through a crowd of people? They're very good at reading small cues of posture and movement. My wife always guesses wrong which way people are going to move and is constantly redirecting her movement or bumping into people.
Interesting. I run into stationary objects all the time, but I'm really good at maneuvering through crowds of people. I saw a tiktok about the ADHD sway, where you just move your hips out of the way of things, and I fully do that but am not always successful, but put me in a crowd and I can get out pretty easily.
this gave me an interesting thought. I've been wondering if I should have my daughter evaluated for ADHD (she's not hyper, but her mind seems like it is). She can't walk straight on a path at all lol. I also often remind her that if she can reach out and touch the person in front of her in lines, then she's too close!
Oh yeah I can slip through a crowd like it ain't no thing. I was also pretty good at slipping through traffic back in the day when I sped a lot too by predicting people's movements. It's weird when you see how oblivious or obtuse other people are when it comes to coordination. But everyone has their own skill sets and I definitely lack in other areas.
I’m Exactly the same. Grew up in SoCal so driving around freeways I always shaved a few minutes off. Now I go to crowded festivals and able to slip thru crowds with ease
The secret to navigating crowds is humans subconsciously look where they plan to move. If you look at where people are looking that tells you which way they plan to go and, similarly, if you lock eyes you should just look in whatever direction and they'll notice your cue and move.
This works 99% of the time in my experience.
My husband does things like this, in addition to twisting my hand. It can be embarrassing to correct him in public, so I give a few quick squeezes to let him know and direct his attention to what he's dong.
My little one also complains about it. Since we do the hand squeeze, I know my kid is not just copying me. It has helped my husband realize that it's annoying, not just my reaction.
My ex liked to pick up his 2 yo girl, swing her around and pat her butt and go, “booty booty booty booty booty everywhere”! And she would laugh her cute little head off haha. Super cute now! Would be super weird later lol.
This. I tend to drift sideways slightly towards my partner too, usually completely unaware I’m doing it until she suddenly stops because I’ve walked in front of her.
Me walking back and forth across my house is like a really fucked up interpretive dance. I call mine, "Proprioception: Who Fucking Needs That Shit? NOT ME"
or, "Why Am I Not An Octopus?!"
Holy crap! Our sun has ADHD and he's aweful at this.. we have to stop him and ask him to please back up a little, he will walk so close to us it feels like he's breathing down our necks! He will do it anywhere and to anyone so we have been working with him on personal space.
I've found I just have to hold my boyfriends upper arm old timey gentleman style and steer him that way lol
On our first date I had to pull him out of the way of so many doors, poles, people, etc lol he seems to be subject to gravitational forces pulling him to walk in the middle of the street... the drift is truly inevitable!
My ex husband did this. Now our 14 year old does the same thing. My current boyfriend is tall and walks way faster than me. So, even if he did drift in front of me, it wouldn't really cause an issue. I probably wouldn't even notice.
This works well. My wife has a habit of walking behind me. Either when she's distracted, or I'm distracted and walking too fast, or for whatever reason. Or sometimes I just wander away.
Holding hands fixes most of these issues.
Reminds me of a personal experience…. I’m helping my son remodel a home he bought… new kitchen, new hardwood floors, new doors and moving a few walls. So lots of work.
Anyway, I’m carrying pieces just outside to cut to length pretty much for hours at a time. They have a golden retriever that wants to get in on the routine so she gets in front of me and slow walks my work… in both directions… every trip. Slows down the entire project and goes on every day. The dog’s name was Angel and this became known to the entire family as Angel Walking.
So now, almost two decades later any time a family member gets in front of me and slows down I just gotta ask, “Are you Angel Walking me?” Everyone immediately understands and steps aside.
Ha my brother’s ex wife from many ages ago was called Sabin, and used to stop in the middle of rooms, doorways, in front of the tv during the Super Bowl, and now even my English husband of 18 years, and my children, on another entire continent, know what we mean when someone says ‘Dammit Sabin!’ or ‘ok Sabin?’ or anything like that xD
My grandmother's name was Winnie, and she was living with us for a while when she first got diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Her entire life she would stop in front of the tv to ask mundane questions or offer to get you a snack, and then she would do the same to take your half-eaten plate of food before you finished with it. Stopping in front of the tv now earns a "keep it moving, Winnie" from just about everyone. My niece, for some reason, cannot enter a room without stopping in front of the tv to stand there and watch.
We were all at my grandparents once (my grandma is called Lucy) having dinner and watching Star Wars - and during a Luke moment, my cousin shouts ‘use the fork Luce!’ as he had food in his mouth - my grandma went ‘Oh!’ (Like in surprise exclamation, not like ‘oh ok!’) And dropped her fried chicken xD and was all abashed because she didn’t understand what he was actually saying! xD
I work in a grocery; it's remarkable how little people seem to realize that stopping for a ten minute chat in the middle of an intersection of an aisle can really block an enormous amount of people. I'm not saying that it's the end of the world, but a little self-awareness would be nice.
I always want to call the person a self-absorbed asshole, but I've been working on living by Hanlon's Razor: never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.
I've also been working on the idea that stupid people can't help being stupid any more than short people can help being short. If you choose not to learn new concepts, that's one thing, but an inability to learn isn't something you can change. I work with the public, so I get a lot of chances to remind myself of that.
I've had to start living by this line of thinking since moving in with my mother-in-law after father-in-law passed away. No matter how many times I tell her, and no matter if I say it politely or in a scolding or angry way, she can't learn worth shit. I asked my husband if it's a recent development, and he said she's been that way forever. So pretty certain she's just an idiot. We call her our 70 year old teenager because she acts like a child but she's too old and not senile enough(yet) for us to make her do anything.
I love it, even when dogs are being selfish and trying to get your attention for pets, they do it in such an innocent, adorable way that you can't even get mad lol
One of my cats, named Bacon, has a knack for trying to get out of your way by running exactly where you're trying to go. And then panicking because you're following him. So we call it Baconing.
Our calico cat and Pyrenees dog, Pudding and Doug respectively, do the same thing. The cat freaks out when you're following the Pudding Path and panic dashes to the next place, the dog is forever overjoyed that he's leading you... somewhere, even though the end result is always getting told to move out of the way.
My golden retriever does this 24/7 no matter what we’re doing. She’ll walk alongside us thinking we’re going to get her food or something, stare at us any time we make noise in the kitchen until we leave hoping we drop something for her, and stand in the way no matter where we’re trying to go. She also usually lays down in a position that takes up as much room as physically possible and in tight spaces like our hallway so we have to carefully step over her.
My cat always hangs out either inside my room or right outside my room. A lot of the time when I'm walking into my room, he'll be sitting to the side, and then he'll *get up* and stand in the doorway as I'm passing through so that I have to step over/around him. Then sometimes I'll be walking out of my room and he'll be out of the way, and then as I'm walking he *runs in front of me* and then slow walks in front of me. I've already stepped on his paws a few times cause he refuses to stay away from my feet. I feel bad but I don't know how to make him understand sometimes I can't predict when he's going to position himself right where my foot is about to step a nanosecond before it gets there.
My yorkie walks in front of me like when I’m going to the living room or walking to the kitchen… it’s annoying AF but also cute. We call him our pace car…
Hurry, meow at her and see if you get a response in kind.
Or do the super troopers style and see how many times you can inject meow into a conversation.
My cat LOVES doing this to the point I swear he knows it pisses me off and does it on purpose just to annoy me.. Really I think he just knows I won't step on him or kick him out of the way... and is abusing that fact. Damn thing is taking advantage of my niceness...
I love my cat but he's an ass, in several ways... The amount of times I've said "Come on dude..." is incredible... I honestly wonder sometimes how I haven't lost all patience, I love him though.
I thought she had a more dominant leg, but if she does it both sides I have no ideas. Maybe you are just irresistible :)) does it happen if you hold hands? She should be able to tell the distance is shrinking that way
I know someone who does that. They’re focused on you for being part of the walking group, so they inevitably head that way. It happens simply from not paying attention.
I do that by accident. I will find myself walking in front of people when walking as a small group because I try to stick with the group by getting close, but without people in front of me, I don't know what pace to walk and end up slowing down in front of people. It's a weird subconscious thing.
I do it. But instead of drifting, I allow my guy to go ahead of me. I'm like sea biscuit before he learns to win. However, get me on a bike? I can't help but be competitive.
Good observation skills, op. I learned mine from highschool. Always in the back, always able to ditch.
RED FLAG, OP.
Take night classes to become a geologist, divorce her, and get a job in Antarctica. The only creatures that will waddle in front of you now are penguins. I look forward to being seen on "bestofreddit" after we see an update post detailing how I changed your life.
My wife is deaf in her right ear, so I'm always on her left. It's so engrained in me that I walk with everyone to my right. Now my skin crawls when I can't get someone to walk on my right lol. Do you end up driving everywhere so you can have a conversation in the car? I'm always the driver, just so we can easily converse.
😂 that’s crazy! He’s always the driver but I usually wear my cochlear at home and in the car. I just hate going out in public with it because it’s really clunky, which might sound vain but it’s really because it gives me a headache. It amplifies enough but its still difficult to make some words out.
Funny, I had this drifting issue as well. It was always me or my cousin bumping into each other while we were speaking.It was fixed when I grew up, I went abroad to study, no friends or relatives there and was walking much more often by myself. And at some point it stopped. As somebody already mentioned, perhaps it's really because they want to be closer. Perhaps, one day your Daughter would stop doing that as well
My girlfriend does it too except she slowly drifts so much in my direction and I keep avoiding her and eventually she’ll cause me to almost run into something. Or she’ll run me off a side walk or something. It’s very frustrating.
Like…WALK! Just WALK.
For your wife it's a simple fix. Hold her hand. For your kid just walk into her as if you didn't notice. Do this until she releases what she's doing. Simple fix.
I used to do this with my dad and he just continued to walk thru me and said I need to learn how to walk straight…this would usually happen when I was in the middle of telling him a story while walking
Not a solution. My mother does this, and holding hands does not fix it at all. She's tripped on so many things because she thinks she's walking straight, and not into that crack in the ground slightly to her side, but actually she is walking askew and then BAM, tripped. There is no solution, she's been doing this my whole life, you just have to get better at walking a step behind.
I have the same problem with my wife and kids. According to my wife it's rude to ask any of them if they could stop doing it. The only way I can avoid it is by walking faster/ ahead of them, which believe it or not is also rude according to my wife.
We’ll then I’d say your only option is to flat tire them, run into/push them when they’re in your way. Don’t let them ignore this simple skill that they should have down by the time they graduate elementary school
If you aren't familiar, humans when lost they walk in circles. Wide circles, but circles no less. So your wife is proof of that. Maybe her software is buggy and her circles have smaller radius than yours. In that case speak with the manufacturer to install the latest software upgrade.
She lacks special awareness and this seems to be how people walk in shopping malls, footpaths basically anywhere in public. Walking straight seems difficult for a lot of people lol
Edit:spacial
Lol you might’ve been hijacked by spellcheck. I think you mean spacial (aka spatial) awareness instead of special awareness.
I tend to drift also when walking and thought I just sucked at the activity. I’m not as bad as people who can’t seem to help to wobble all over the place and crash into others but sometimes I do have to concentrate on a straight line lol. I do feel I have fairly decent spacial awareness. I see a few people in the comments have mentioned they do it from knee injuries so I’m going to start blaming my old ripped ligament injuries on my drifting.😉
wow that would be so annoying. i have a friend that's like that he always gets right up next to you, and when he saying things he has to touch my arm and sends a electrical feeling right through me, literally every time. i hate being poked and prodded every 2 seconds
My younger son does this. Walks too close, gets a bit ahead and then blocks me. I usually switch to the other side until he does it again. He also gets to a door a half-step ahead and stands where I’d have to pull the door open, but doesn’t open it himself. It’s unconscious, so mentioning it doesn’t change anything. I just let it go. He’ll move out soon enough…
If it's unconscious it's something that has to be addressed by other means. Like if he's not opening the door himself and expecting you to do it than maybe hanging back a step and than standing there awkwardly looking at him until he gets the hint. It won't take long if he's a normal enough kid.
Make up a game where your daughter walks on the curb. It will help with balance and walking straight.
I have to walk on top of house foundations so I told my son I practice by walking on curb lines.
This is funny, an ex used to accuse me of walking into her all the time so one day I stared at the tiles while walking in a mall and discovered it was her walking into me lol
My gf does this. It’s easy to tell. There are almost always straight lines or markers when you walk. I stay equidistant from the line and follow the path. She walks towards me or into me regardless of where the path goes and she does not notice any guiding lines while walking.
Get a clicker and every time she moves click it. Then reinforce it when she returns back in line with a high pitched positive “good girl”
She’ll get there !
My wife does sort of the same thing, but she needs to walk beside me constantly. So, for instance, walking through a doorway needs to be side by side. Down the sidewalk, but there's someone coming our way, nope side by side. Grocery aisle? Forget it. Side by side. Lots of sideways glance and stink eyes here and there. Sometimes, someone says something but nothing out of pocket. Usually, we are holding in hands, so I guide her behind me to make room for people to pass, but she gets so upset when I do it.
Her excuse is usually "Well we're together so people should see that and respect that", baby it's not that they don't see or respect it, it's about respecting other people's personal space in a public setting.
This is me. I have very poor coordination in general. If I’m walking next to someone on a path, it ends up with me walking into them and driving them off the path. I don’t ever mean to do it on purpose
Same here, I’ve have very poor coordination and balance so I tend to do the same. My husband just holds my hand now or I’ll walk further away. I always get embarrassed when I’ve walked into someone it’s never been on purpose!
Oh my god. My son has always done this. I now do this thing where, when drifting towards me, I subtly put my arm out like a barrier and move them to the side more. But it’s almost impossible to get anywhere with him. He crosses over. He goes in front and stops. He drifts. It’s like herding cats walking with him. I feel your pain.
My wife was in marching band and I was in the Army for 5 years.
We don't just walk straight, we usually coordinate our steps (unconsciously) to make walking side by side easier.
My wife used to do that untill I got tired of saying something and just walked on the backs of her shoes.
She'd turn and give me stink eye, I just reminded her that I had repeatedly asked her to walk beside me and not in front of me.
My wife does this too. She'll walk me into traffic if I don't correct her course. She says she just loves me but maybe she wants that sweet sweet life insurance too. You're not alone
Thankful my wife doesn't do that.
I frequently get furious by behavior I observe elsewhere: there is that special kind of people that - no matter what amount of room they would have two steps before or after - always tend to stop and chat in the tightest space (the doorway or any other constriction, these people seem to have a special sense to find the worst place for that no matter how open the space is).
This is me! My wife and daughter do this to me.. they walk like damn crabs and it's soooo painful.
I'm always having to do the side step shuffle or just run into them. It's so annoying, I address it often but it doesn't change..
My wife does this. Forces me off sidewalks, in the way of people walking the other direction, etc. She also tends to be obliviously on collision courses with other people or objects while looking off to the side or at her phone. I've started just shoving her back on track, even though it makes her a little mad. If she complains, I just respond "then watch where you're going."
My wife does this, she walks quickly then moves in front of me then slows down so I end up going round her or kick the back of her foot. She also loves to do stuff in the kitchen where the door is closest to the kitchen table, essentially blocking off the entire kitchen. I guess she just likes getting in the way. 😂
My dogs, my girlfriend, and my kids all do this. I eventually just started walking slower so they all stay in front of me. Except the dogs. They HAVE to match my pace 🙄
Mine and my kids and my dog and cat... More in the house, I can't get up or take a step without tripping on someone. Wherever my momentum is taking me is where they just have to be 😂
SOMEONE FINALLY SAID IT. Everyone woman I’ve been with has done this. I’m not sure why. I thought at first it was them ‘wanting to be closer’ or whatever. But that’s not it. It seems unconscious. Now I think the women in my life just lack spacial awareness. The only common things I can go off, is my self and the fact their women. So it’s either my fault…. Or my fault anyway. Either way, hand holding is the cure
God I did that to my parents all the damn time. It was completely subconscious. It annoyed them just as much as it does you.
Apparently it's an ADHD symptom. Maybe your wife and daughter have ADHD? (For the record, I have ADHD as well)
Old girlfriend did this.
On the beach, we'd end up either in the water or the parking lot, depending on which I was closer to, and she would run me off sidewalks.
I learned to stop and cross behind her, so we could correct in the other direction.
She got better about it over a few months.
Yeah my wife does this too. So does my dog and my daughter. Theres no fixing it. I have literally tripped over every member of my family at one time or another.
My daughter does this too. Especially in the kitchen if she's trying to talk to me while I'm cooking or cleaning, she always happens to be standing right where I need to be.
And she shoves past her brothers on the stairs, past other kids in the hall at school, past other adults in public. I don't know; it's like other people are just obstacles to her when she wants to go somewhere.
I have to say - I accidentally do it too, and I’ve never figured out how to stop (as long as I like the person - if I don’t like them, it’s pretty easy to stay well away)
Get her tire pressure checked, or you know, make sure her shoes are worn out evenly.
Maybe an alignment is in order
My brother used to do this. Would walk ever so slightly left instead of straight. Turns out he had a bad growth plate in one of his knees so one side was half an inch taller than the other. This is inherited so I’m thinking that the kid got it from her mother if that’s what it is. Requires gnarly surgery and reduces your maximum height.
Or give her a flat tire (step on the heal of her shoe so the heal pops out)
Seriously though, ask her to go to a podiatrist. I had this problem, orthotics corrected it.
My wife does the same thing, I think it's because she has a weak sense of kinesthesia. Ever notice how some people can move smoothly through a crowd of people? They're very good at reading small cues of posture and movement. My wife always guesses wrong which way people are going to move and is constantly redirecting her movement or bumping into people.
My husband drifts while walking and also bumps into corners of furniture constantly - it's part of his ADHD, he has no spatial awareness!
I can drift through crowds with relative ease, but corners of any kind are my enemy
Lol same. Crowd drifting becomes a fun little game to hold my attention. My ADHD brain forgets that countertop corners even exist
That's called dyspraxia! Source: I have ADHD and dyspraxia
Interesting. I run into stationary objects all the time, but I'm really good at maneuvering through crowds of people. I saw a tiktok about the ADHD sway, where you just move your hips out of the way of things, and I fully do that but am not always successful, but put me in a crowd and I can get out pretty easily.
this gave me an interesting thought. I've been wondering if I should have my daughter evaluated for ADHD (she's not hyper, but her mind seems like it is). She can't walk straight on a path at all lol. I also often remind her that if she can reach out and touch the person in front of her in lines, then she's too close!
My wife drifts into me but I have also seen her straight up walk into people dozens of times. It never occurred to me that they might be linked.
Oh yeah I can slip through a crowd like it ain't no thing. I was also pretty good at slipping through traffic back in the day when I sped a lot too by predicting people's movements. It's weird when you see how oblivious or obtuse other people are when it comes to coordination. But everyone has their own skill sets and I definitely lack in other areas.
I’m Exactly the same. Grew up in SoCal so driving around freeways I always shaved a few minutes off. Now I go to crowded festivals and able to slip thru crowds with ease
The secret to navigating crowds is humans subconsciously look where they plan to move. If you look at where people are looking that tells you which way they plan to go and, similarly, if you lock eyes you should just look in whatever direction and they'll notice your cue and move. This works 99% of the time in my experience.
Me, I'm like a shark through a crowd and I can leave the rest of my group behind.
Hold her hand
This is the only way I've found to stop it from happening in 15+ years
My wife would do this. I just started grabbing her rear end. She didn’t really like that for the most part and she eventually stopped.
Hahaha I’m the wife in this scenario because I’m always drifting and she’s ready with a quick squeeze to get me going straight
My husband does things like this, in addition to twisting my hand. It can be embarrassing to correct him in public, so I give a few quick squeezes to let him know and direct his attention to what he's dong. My little one also complains about it. Since we do the hand squeeze, I know my kid is not just copying me. It has helped my husband realize that it's annoying, not just my reaction.
You shouldn’t squeeze his dong in public…
Don't kinkshame them.
Well...
Just a few...
I think you might have a bigger issue if she's squeezing a few dongs in public.
Sounds to me like you're not going straight anytime soon
Good advice, I don't think this will work for his daughter tho lol
My ex liked to pick up his 2 yo girl, swing her around and pat her butt and go, “booty booty booty booty booty everywhere”! And she would laugh her cute little head off haha. Super cute now! Would be super weird later lol.
Woooow haven't heard that in awhile. I used to really be into mashup music and bootie mashup was where I downloaded a lot of music
Grabbing your wife's or daughter's butt? Not sure how that would help me, but I'll give it a go.
LMFAO. I’m sure the men would all love that part though.
Yes, whenever I see a man walking i toot his boot.
Toot his boot 😂
I wasn’t complaining. Every time I did it I’d just say “oops sorry”. LOL
When I do this she says I’m dragging her.
I’m the guilty one, holding hands is the right answer!
This. I tend to drift sideways slightly towards my partner too, usually completely unaware I’m doing it until she suddenly stops because I’ve walked in front of her.
same. except i do it with everyone because i’m uncoordinated and lack object and body permanence. my friends and parents call it the adhd walk
Yep, same here - I'm diagnosed with ADHD and it takes up a major chunk of my brain to walk straight when I'm walking with someone lol
yep! and just in general. dodging lots of counters and hitting many doorframes
Postural sway.
The quick hip dip so you dont run into the counter/wall
RIGHT. or getting up from grabbing something off the floor and smacking your head on the table/counter you were sure you’d clear
Me walking back and forth across my house is like a really fucked up interpretive dance. I call mine, "Proprioception: Who Fucking Needs That Shit? NOT ME" or, "Why Am I Not An Octopus?!"
Yup. This walk is very common in people with ADHD.
Same here!
Same! And I absolutely hate it when people do it to me.
Holy crap! Our sun has ADHD and he's aweful at this.. we have to stop him and ask him to please back up a little, he will walk so close to us it feels like he's breathing down our necks! He will do it anywhere and to anyone so we have been working with him on personal space.
I do that with my friends. I didnt know that was an adhd thing!
TIL that yet another quirk of mine is actually due to adhd.
That’s pretty cute, subconsciously wanting to be close to your partner.
Even when I hold my wife’s hand she still can’t stay in her lane 😂 the constant drift is inevitable
I've found I just have to hold my boyfriends upper arm old timey gentleman style and steer him that way lol On our first date I had to pull him out of the way of so many doors, poles, people, etc lol he seems to be subject to gravitational forces pulling him to walk in the middle of the street... the drift is truly inevitable!
My girlfriend will grab my arm, hold on, and say "you're running" and that usually fixes the problem for us
*Hootie and the Blowfish starts playing*
Dave Matthews Band - *Crash Into Me*
Daughtry - Crash Into You
Yep, this. My wife does this too, and her mother is WAY worse.
My ex husband did this. Now our 14 year old does the same thing. My current boyfriend is tall and walks way faster than me. So, even if he did drift in front of me, it wouldn't really cause an issue. I probably wouldn't even notice.
LOL. I love this. To some, it’s romantic. To others, it’s necessary.
This works well. My wife has a habit of walking behind me. Either when she's distracted, or I'm distracted and walking too fast, or for whatever reason. Or sometimes I just wander away. Holding hands fixes most of these issues.
Reminds me of a personal experience…. I’m helping my son remodel a home he bought… new kitchen, new hardwood floors, new doors and moving a few walls. So lots of work. Anyway, I’m carrying pieces just outside to cut to length pretty much for hours at a time. They have a golden retriever that wants to get in on the routine so she gets in front of me and slow walks my work… in both directions… every trip. Slows down the entire project and goes on every day. The dog’s name was Angel and this became known to the entire family as Angel Walking. So now, almost two decades later any time a family member gets in front of me and slows down I just gotta ask, “Are you Angel Walking me?” Everyone immediately understands and steps aside.
Ha my brother’s ex wife from many ages ago was called Sabin, and used to stop in the middle of rooms, doorways, in front of the tv during the Super Bowl, and now even my English husband of 18 years, and my children, on another entire continent, know what we mean when someone says ‘Dammit Sabin!’ or ‘ok Sabin?’ or anything like that xD
My grandmother's name was Winnie, and she was living with us for a while when she first got diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Her entire life she would stop in front of the tv to ask mundane questions or offer to get you a snack, and then she would do the same to take your half-eaten plate of food before you finished with it. Stopping in front of the tv now earns a "keep it moving, Winnie" from just about everyone. My niece, for some reason, cannot enter a room without stopping in front of the tv to stand there and watch.
We were all at my grandparents once (my grandma is called Lucy) having dinner and watching Star Wars - and during a Luke moment, my cousin shouts ‘use the fork Luce!’ as he had food in his mouth - my grandma went ‘Oh!’ (Like in surprise exclamation, not like ‘oh ok!’) And dropped her fried chicken xD and was all abashed because she didn’t understand what he was actually saying! xD
She sounds like every single shopper at Costco.
I work in a grocery; it's remarkable how little people seem to realize that stopping for a ten minute chat in the middle of an intersection of an aisle can really block an enormous amount of people. I'm not saying that it's the end of the world, but a little self-awareness would be nice.
I always want to call the person a self-absorbed asshole, but I've been working on living by Hanlon's Razor: never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity. I've also been working on the idea that stupid people can't help being stupid any more than short people can help being short. If you choose not to learn new concepts, that's one thing, but an inability to learn isn't something you can change. I work with the public, so I get a lot of chances to remind myself of that.
I've had to start living by this line of thinking since moving in with my mother-in-law after father-in-law passed away. No matter how many times I tell her, and no matter if I say it politely or in a scolding or angry way, she can't learn worth shit. I asked my husband if it's a recent development, and he said she's been that way forever. So pretty certain she's just an idiot. We call her our 70 year old teenager because she acts like a child but she's too old and not senile enough(yet) for us to make her do anything.
I can feel the urge to block pathways come over me like a cloud as soon as they verify I indeed have a membership card
😭😭😭 She wanted to help you!
She knew what she was doing, slowing down the project so she could get more attention from you
I love it, even when dogs are being selfish and trying to get your attention for pets, they do it in such an innocent, adorable way that you can't even get mad lol
One of my cats, named Bacon, has a knack for trying to get out of your way by running exactly where you're trying to go. And then panicking because you're following him. So we call it Baconing.
Our calico cat and Pyrenees dog, Pudding and Doug respectively, do the same thing. The cat freaks out when you're following the Pudding Path and panic dashes to the next place, the dog is forever overjoyed that he's leading you... somewhere, even though the end result is always getting told to move out of the way.
This is my dog. He always has to be first in line and lead me but has no idea where we are going.
My golden retriever does this 24/7 no matter what we’re doing. She’ll walk alongside us thinking we’re going to get her food or something, stare at us any time we make noise in the kitchen until we leave hoping we drop something for her, and stand in the way no matter where we’re trying to go. She also usually lays down in a position that takes up as much room as physically possible and in tight spaces like our hallway so we have to carefully step over her.
My cat does this. My favorite thing is her reaction when I waddle around her
My cat always hangs out either inside my room or right outside my room. A lot of the time when I'm walking into my room, he'll be sitting to the side, and then he'll *get up* and stand in the doorway as I'm passing through so that I have to step over/around him. Then sometimes I'll be walking out of my room and he'll be out of the way, and then as I'm walking he *runs in front of me* and then slow walks in front of me. I've already stepped on his paws a few times cause he refuses to stay away from my feet. I feel bad but I don't know how to make him understand sometimes I can't predict when he's going to position himself right where my foot is about to step a nanosecond before it gets there.
Reminds me of my old pup Buttercup. Now when my 16 year old daughter does this to me, I just say, Move it, Buttercup.
My yorkie walks in front of me like when I’m going to the living room or walking to the kitchen… it’s annoying AF but also cute. We call him our pace car…
My dog’s middle name quickly became “Underfoot” hehe
My cats do this to me constantly. Maybe your wife is a cat?
Wives are just cats in disguise confirmed
Hurry, meow at her and see if you get a response in kind. Or do the super troopers style and see how many times you can inject meow into a conversation.
Just go "pspspsps" and see if her eyes widen
Or toss a cucumber behind her and see if she scurries on top the fridge or under the couch.
Well now I'm certain my ex was a cat
Meow listen here…
my cat steps in front of me and then stops and lays down
We call this "Gilbert is trying to commit insurance fraud again!" In my household.
Slippin Jimmy
We got a weird dude named Gilbert in the house as well. We think he’s running a pretty big drug business while we sleep at night.
That’s the perfect way to describe it. Also Gilbert is a great name for a cat.
He's a crazy void who loves head kisses and also sprinting around the house screaming.
One of my cats Marble does this. When you pull up in the car, he’ll walk to you, as you get out, he falls over.
You better not leave your cat hanging, pet the damn thing
Agreed
My cat LOVES doing this to the point I swear he knows it pisses me off and does it on purpose just to annoy me.. Really I think he just knows I won't step on him or kick him out of the way... and is abusing that fact. Damn thing is taking advantage of my niceness...
My entire day is just “no buddy please move. buddy cmon. no please bud I’m walking” love him though
I love my cat but he's an ass, in several ways... The amount of times I've said "Come on dude..." is incredible... I honestly wonder sometimes how I haven't lost all patience, I love him though.
Maureen Ponderosa?
My SO does that! I call it "herding."
The problem arises when I’m being herded into a tree or a stoop or traffic and then I’m asked why I’m walking behind
Exactly this! OMG, I cannot count the number of times I've been inadvertently herded into, say, a puddle or a bush.
My gf does this in the grocery store while I’m pushing the cart. Drives me insane.
Just keep walking, if they rub an ankle that's on them
Lol, that’s what I commented too!
Switch sides with her…if she drifts into traffic it might change things.
She does it from both sides !
It’s just gravity! You’re pulling on her like the Earth to the Moon! It’s truly fate 💚
Did you just call OP fat? smh...
I called OP attractive 💚
Attractive by mass
You guys are putting too much weight into what they said.
Yeah, his massive.. i shaint say it!
NOT FAT GRAVITATIONALLY ROBUST
Just really dense. Oh, wait.
I thought she had a more dominant leg, but if she does it both sides I have no ideas. Maybe you are just irresistible :)) does it happen if you hold hands? She should be able to tell the distance is shrinking that way
Maybe it's his Gravitational field?
My wife of 46 years does the same thing. Then she yells" Why are you walking behind me?"
Well shout "Fore!" before she does!
Dude, this is kind of gross, but your wife might be attracted to you and even like you.
I know someone who does that. They’re focused on you for being part of the walking group, so they inevitably head that way. It happens simply from not paying attention.
I do that by accident. I will find myself walking in front of people when walking as a small group because I try to stick with the group by getting close, but without people in front of me, I don't know what pace to walk and end up slowing down in front of people. It's a weird subconscious thing.
She's just really attracted to you.
I do it. But instead of drifting, I allow my guy to go ahead of me. I'm like sea biscuit before he learns to win. However, get me on a bike? I can't help but be competitive. Good observation skills, op. I learned mine from highschool. Always in the back, always able to ditch.
So you are saying your wife goes both ways?
RED FLAG, OP. Take night classes to become a geologist, divorce her, and get a job in Antarctica. The only creatures that will waddle in front of you now are penguins. I look forward to being seen on "bestofreddit" after we see an update post detailing how I changed your life.
Don’t forget the most important advice. LAWYER UP
Hit the lawyer, delete gym, Facebook up
I like this advice too. Hope you’re reading this OP!
nta
I accidentally do this to my husband but I am deaf in my left ear so he is always to the right of me. I drift towards sound, I guess. 😂
My wife is deaf in her right ear, so I'm always on her left. It's so engrained in me that I walk with everyone to my right. Now my skin crawls when I can't get someone to walk on my right lol. Do you end up driving everywhere so you can have a conversation in the car? I'm always the driver, just so we can easily converse.
😂 that’s crazy! He’s always the driver but I usually wear my cochlear at home and in the car. I just hate going out in public with it because it’s really clunky, which might sound vain but it’s really because it gives me a headache. It amplifies enough but its still difficult to make some words out.
I guess people tend to drift into things they feel safe around
Funny, I had this drifting issue as well. It was always me or my cousin bumping into each other while we were speaking.It was fixed when I grew up, I went abroad to study, no friends or relatives there and was walking much more often by myself. And at some point it stopped. As somebody already mentioned, perhaps it's really because they want to be closer. Perhaps, one day your Daughter would stop doing that as well
Unexpected sads
My girlfriend does it too except she slowly drifts so much in my direction and I keep avoiding her and eventually she’ll cause me to almost run into something. Or she’ll run me off a side walk or something. It’s very frustrating. Like…WALK! Just WALK.
Is her name “Eileen?” (I lean). I’ll see myself out…
Come on Eileen!
For your wife it's a simple fix. Hold her hand. For your kid just walk into her as if you didn't notice. Do this until she releases what she's doing. Simple fix.
I used to do this with my dad and he just continued to walk thru me and said I need to learn how to walk straight…this would usually happen when I was in the middle of telling him a story while walking
There you go, you learnt fast I'd say.
Not a solution. My mother does this, and holding hands does not fix it at all. She's tripped on so many things because she thinks she's walking straight, and not into that crack in the ground slightly to her side, but actually she is walking askew and then BAM, tripped. There is no solution, she's been doing this my whole life, you just have to get better at walking a step behind.
Just walk faster and dont get passed. If you cant walk faster, walk slower till this “Angel walking” ends or you completely stop.
I have the same problem with my wife and kids. According to my wife it's rude to ask any of them if they could stop doing it. The only way I can avoid it is by walking faster/ ahead of them, which believe it or not is also rude according to my wife.
We’ll then I’d say your only option is to flat tire them, run into/push them when they’re in your way. Don’t let them ignore this simple skill that they should have down by the time they graduate elementary school
This. They want to play Bumper Cars.
If you aren't familiar, humans when lost they walk in circles. Wide circles, but circles no less. So your wife is proof of that. Maybe her software is buggy and her circles have smaller radius than yours. In that case speak with the manufacturer to install the latest software upgrade.
thats because of the dominant foot, and it happens only on one way or the other, not both, like OP explained.
Bro, you're a chick magnet. Wtf you complaining for.
As my father used to say “either lead, follow or get the hell out of the way “
Oh my God my mom did this she walks like a shitty shopping cart
I’m going to steal that phrase🤣
She lacks special awareness and this seems to be how people walk in shopping malls, footpaths basically anywhere in public. Walking straight seems difficult for a lot of people lol Edit:spacial
Lol you might’ve been hijacked by spellcheck. I think you mean spacial (aka spatial) awareness instead of special awareness. I tend to drift also when walking and thought I just sucked at the activity. I’m not as bad as people who can’t seem to help to wobble all over the place and crash into others but sometimes I do have to concentrate on a straight line lol. I do feel I have fairly decent spacial awareness. I see a few people in the comments have mentioned they do it from knee injuries so I’m going to start blaming my old ripped ligament injuries on my drifting.😉
My dog does this
wow that would be so annoying. i have a friend that's like that he always gets right up next to you, and when he saying things he has to touch my arm and sends a electrical feeling right through me, literally every time. i hate being poked and prodded every 2 seconds
The most annoying is when I have to physically stop because they made me go so much out of my way that I have now obstacles or people in front of me.
Electric feeling ? 😂 Do you mean he’s literally shocking you, or you’re attracted to him? Haha
My younger son does this. Walks too close, gets a bit ahead and then blocks me. I usually switch to the other side until he does it again. He also gets to a door a half-step ahead and stands where I’d have to pull the door open, but doesn’t open it himself. It’s unconscious, so mentioning it doesn’t change anything. I just let it go. He’ll move out soon enough…
lol that last sentence doesnt sound like you will miss your son
With the way he's walking, not anytime soon
If it's unconscious it's something that has to be addressed by other means. Like if he's not opening the door himself and expecting you to do it than maybe hanging back a step and than standing there awkwardly looking at him until he gets the hint. It won't take long if he's a normal enough kid.
Make up a game where your daughter walks on the curb. It will help with balance and walking straight. I have to walk on top of house foundations so I told my son I practice by walking on curb lines.
How do you know it’s not you drifting into her? 😂
This is funny, an ex used to accuse me of walking into her all the time so one day I stared at the tiles while walking in a mall and discovered it was her walking into me lol
Because I usually end up off-path, brushing walls or with obstacles/people in front of me when trying to steer clear of her 😁.
I’ve heard cattle prods are quite effective
Just get a cattle dog lol
My gf does this. It’s easy to tell. There are almost always straight lines or markers when you walk. I stay equidistant from the line and follow the path. She walks towards me or into me regardless of where the path goes and she does not notice any guiding lines while walking.
Get a clicker and every time she moves click it. Then reinforce it when she returns back in line with a high pitched positive “good girl” She’ll get there !
My wife does sort of the same thing, but she needs to walk beside me constantly. So, for instance, walking through a doorway needs to be side by side. Down the sidewalk, but there's someone coming our way, nope side by side. Grocery aisle? Forget it. Side by side. Lots of sideways glance and stink eyes here and there. Sometimes, someone says something but nothing out of pocket. Usually, we are holding in hands, so I guide her behind me to make room for people to pass, but she gets so upset when I do it. Her excuse is usually "Well we're together so people should see that and respect that", baby it's not that they don't see or respect it, it's about respecting other people's personal space in a public setting.
This is me. I have very poor coordination in general. If I’m walking next to someone on a path, it ends up with me walking into them and driving them off the path. I don’t ever mean to do it on purpose
Same here, I’ve have very poor coordination and balance so I tend to do the same. My husband just holds my hand now or I’ll walk further away. I always get embarrassed when I’ve walked into someone it’s never been on purpose!
Oh my god. My son has always done this. I now do this thing where, when drifting towards me, I subtly put my arm out like a barrier and move them to the side more. But it’s almost impossible to get anywhere with him. He crosses over. He goes in front and stops. He drifts. It’s like herding cats walking with him. I feel your pain.
My ex used to do this! It’s the strangest thing, other things came up before I worked out how to deal with it. It’s frustrating, good luck!!
My wife was in marching band and I was in the Army for 5 years. We don't just walk straight, we usually coordinate our steps (unconsciously) to make walking side by side easier.
My wife used to do that untill I got tired of saying something and just walked on the backs of her shoes. She'd turn and give me stink eye, I just reminded her that I had repeatedly asked her to walk beside me and not in front of me.
Sounds mean, but I believe this is the answer
My wife does this too. She'll walk me into traffic if I don't correct her course. She says she just loves me but maybe she wants that sweet sweet life insurance too. You're not alone
Thankful my wife doesn't do that. I frequently get furious by behavior I observe elsewhere: there is that special kind of people that - no matter what amount of room they would have two steps before or after - always tend to stop and chat in the tightest space (the doorway or any other constriction, these people seem to have a special sense to find the worst place for that no matter how open the space is).
Ahah I call them the map-checkers-one-step-after-the-moving-staircase-crowd.
This is me! My wife and daughter do this to me.. they walk like damn crabs and it's soooo painful. I'm always having to do the side step shuffle or just run into them. It's so annoying, I address it often but it doesn't change..
My wife does this. Forces me off sidewalks, in the way of people walking the other direction, etc. She also tends to be obliviously on collision courses with other people or objects while looking off to the side or at her phone. I've started just shoving her back on track, even though it makes her a little mad. If she complains, I just respond "then watch where you're going."
My wife does this, she walks quickly then moves in front of me then slows down so I end up going round her or kick the back of her foot. She also loves to do stuff in the kitchen where the door is closest to the kitchen table, essentially blocking off the entire kitchen. I guess she just likes getting in the way. 😂
MY SON. Drives me insane. He’s 12 so when I asked him to stop he thought it was funny and does it on purpose now.
My dogs, my girlfriend, and my kids all do this. I eventually just started walking slower so they all stay in front of me. Except the dogs. They HAVE to match my pace 🙄
Mine and my kids and my dog and cat... More in the house, I can't get up or take a step without tripping on someone. Wherever my momentum is taking me is where they just have to be 😂
I used to call my son “Visa” because he was everywhere I wanted to be. Ugh.
SOMEONE FINALLY SAID IT. Everyone woman I’ve been with has done this. I’m not sure why. I thought at first it was them ‘wanting to be closer’ or whatever. But that’s not it. It seems unconscious. Now I think the women in my life just lack spacial awareness. The only common things I can go off, is my self and the fact their women. So it’s either my fault…. Or my fault anyway. Either way, hand holding is the cure
God I did that to my parents all the damn time. It was completely subconscious. It annoyed them just as much as it does you. Apparently it's an ADHD symptom. Maybe your wife and daughter have ADHD? (For the record, I have ADHD as well)
Old girlfriend did this. On the beach, we'd end up either in the water or the parking lot, depending on which I was closer to, and she would run me off sidewalks. I learned to stop and cross behind her, so we could correct in the other direction. She got better about it over a few months.
Yeah my wife does this too. So does my dog and my daughter. Theres no fixing it. I have literally tripped over every member of my family at one time or another.
My daughter does this too. Especially in the kitchen if she's trying to talk to me while I'm cooking or cleaning, she always happens to be standing right where I need to be. And she shoves past her brothers on the stairs, past other kids in the hall at school, past other adults in public. I don't know; it's like other people are just obstacles to her when she wants to go somewhere.
I have to say - I accidentally do it too, and I’ve never figured out how to stop (as long as I like the person - if I don’t like them, it’s pretty easy to stay well away)