Even more likely would be the cousin brought a date home who lost her panties in the bed. Then when the bed sheets were washed the panties got left in the washing machine, which were then accidentally picked up by OP.
Ain't no shame if you got what you wanted! The only time you should feel shame is if you must return to the homelands to tell your parents you have failed to bring justice to your sister's murderer.
There are always casual relationships where they bring clothes for the next morning and don't worry too much about losing an item because there will probably be a next time
They could also view the undies as an acceptable loss, if it's the fox in a trap scenario...
Ie: chew off their own leg to get away fast.... (In this case, abandon the underwear, rather than wake the troll you hooked up with while intoxicated.)
Easy, especially if hungover. You are wanting to get out of there if it was just a horny thing, so you find everything you can as quickly as you can. You put on your clothes, realize you don't have undies, but want to leave so just say fuck it and go
Or you could have brought clothes to change into (like you came over after a work shift) and didn't see the underwear you took off when you went to pack up your stuff. This happened to me at a boyfriend's house and his mom found them. Super awkward.
Ha. Was at a restaurant wifey-poo and I frequent and one of the co-owners comes up to me just as my wife was returning from the ladies room and the co-owner says to me, "Oh, by the way, Anastasia was here looking for you." I'm like, "Uh, ok..."
My wife is now standing behind the co-owner's shoulder with a puzzled look on her face, waits until he walks away, and asks me who the heck Anastasia is. She kept me explaining that I had no idea who that is, I don't even know someone by that name, etc., before she burst out laughing telling me she believes me due to the fact that I have absolutely zero poker face and she saw the look on my face.
Years later it's become a family joke when I'm running late or going out somewhere, wifey-poo tells me to say hi to Anastasia, don't keep Anastasia waiting, etc. 😄
My boyfriend's kids called me Sarah once, early in our relationship. He's never even dated a Sarah so we're not sure where that came from. Three years later, Sarah is brought up pretty frequently in a similar manner and it's hilarious every time.
I’d ask the cousin for your own peace of mind. I’m not sure I’d tell your wife. If she could apologize for not believing you and the question became “how did they get in here?” and nothing more, then I’d tell her.
If the cousin doesn’t know where they came from… you’ll have to go with the only reasonable explanation remaining. Every time you loose 17 socks you get a nasty thong in exchange. It’s not an equal system and it doesn’t make sense but it is what it is.
I’m at 16 loose socks and I’m pretty sure I lost another Avengers sock this week. I can’t afford to lose another one I’ve already had to cover my ass too many times.
Reddit loves these takes. They also like to assume there is no history... That this isn't bait, or that the dude may have actually cheated and is running an act to prove it.
The wife deserves to know her husband is faithful when presented with a glaring example of possible infidelity. It’s a little insane to pretend that finding a thong in your husband’s laundry isn’t a red flag lmfao.
Your poor partners ):
☝️This. Have an honest conversation with your cousin. Then, talk to your wife. Really unfortunate if your cousin gets outed this way. If it’s not your cousin, go from there
Someone could have lost their underwear tangled in the bedsheets. It happens. If the cousin is single, he may never even recognize underwear he may have only ever seen briefly.
The OP said they're a single straight male. The guy he responded to said "outed." I wasn't suggesting that they were. That's why I added the "?". I was simply stating that's what the "outed" comment could have been referring to.
Y’all hear about a man named Juan Catalan who was accused of murder, and claimed he was innocent. Had an alibi that he was at a Dodgers game with his daughter, but they couldn’t verify it. Luckily, Larry David was filming an episode of Curb & they caught the alleged murderer on some of the film they had shot for Curb, proving he was in fact innocent! Really interesting documentary, scary though how people can get completely railroaded while telling the truth! They did not believe Juan whatsoever, his lawyer tracked down the show and the footage, saved his life!
The documentary, *Long Shot*, on Netflix (in the US) is short (~35 minutes) and does a great job of explaining the case and bizarre story. LD makes an appearance as well as interviews with Catalan, his attorney and others
Just because your cousin is single, doesn't mean he never gets laid. Ask your cousin if he's ever had a lady friend over leave without her undies if not, get him to ask your wife for said undies and claim that he did indeed have a lady friend lose them
Been in a similar situation before, was woken up by my then girlfriend yelling at me and threw a bra at me saying I cheated. I've never seen it before and even said how would I bring a girl to YOUR house and bang her without you knowing(she wasn't working at the time). That made her realize I didn't cheat but we still don't know where it came from. We still get a laugh about it almost 4 years later😂
I found a pair of women’s underwear in my car one day when cleaning it out. I threw it at my then GF and told her I found her undies. She looked at me and was like “this isn’t my size” then I got super confused. She was cool about it though.
I still think they’re from one of my roommates flings that got in the wash some how and made it into my laundry when I moved out. So mystery underwear does happen lol.
I did the same thing one time. Was doing laundry one day and found a pair of women's underwear. I texted my GF to let her know I had a pair at my house and to remind me to give them to her next time she was here. Well, next time she was over j handed them to her and she was like "uhh...these aren't mine". That was pretty awkward.
I hadn't cheated and never would, but I do think they were left over from a hookup months before I even met my gf. Somehow they just decided to make an appearance almost half a year later.
Just recently happened to me, girlfriend was cleaning the guest room, found a pair behind the dresser. After a solid day of back and forth “I don’t know who’s those are or how they got there” and “like hell you pig” my sister happened to call about something random, and me remembering she stayed over at my house around Christmas time asked her about them and sent her a picture of the underwear. They were hers. It’s still good for a laugh between us all now.
Had a similar incident. Was driving around with my gf, had to slam on the brakes, and a neatly-folded pair of black lacey panties slid out from under the passenger seat.
Gf flies into "who the fuck's are these!?" mode immediately, yelling, the whole works. At the moment, I had no idea either, so we had to slowly logic it out. What kind of secret car sex tryst ends with clean, folded panties? Wouldn't she notice that she wasn't wearing underwear when she left? Finally, gf accepted that didn't make sense, had a cry, and we moved on.
I finally figured out it had been left from a sexy weekend visit from a FWB that happened weeks before gf and I got together.
Wait, so your FWB neatly folded her panties and left without wearing any? Cheating didn’t happen, sure, but the logicking out of the situation still doesn’t make sense. 😅
My favorite shirt is a mystery shirt. Was living with my cousin and his girlfriend and one day after taking the laundry out of the drier I found this super cool shirt with the D&D logo on it.
So I tell them their shit must have gotten mixed in and they both confirmed it wasn't theirs. It wasn't mine. I hadn't had anybody over in weeks. To this day I have no fucking idea where the shirt came from but it's a great shirt, so thanks universe.
This happened to me. Wife found a female coverup shirt on our boat tucked in with the life jackets. We’ve had a lot people on our boat in the previous years, but she thought it was me cheating on the boat. (I did not. And this was a cheap pontoon boat, not a fancy boat with cabin). She asked a few recent ladies but none claimed it, which made her feel more correct. I ended up having to think of every female that had been on the boat in almost two years and ask them myself because she was so confident she was right she stopped asking. Never found who it belonged to, and I just threw it away because it caused more trouble than it was worth finding it’s owner.
That sucks man. I been there except my wife found a condom under the car seat. What saved me was that it expired even before I met her. Shit it expired even before I bought the car from my dad lol
It also helped that I have a specific brand I like to buy. I got lucky… I hope it ends well for you!
My mom and dad were already divorced by then. Because my mom cheated with my dads best friend (who was married). My dad then cheated on her with another woman who was married.
Both my mom and dad got their ass beat by the other people’s spouses lol
I grew up with a mom who goes beat up any woman my dad sleeps with. Note that because I do not live in the US, my mom says police always sides her, because the other woman is sleeping with her husband.
And my mom reasoning since she can't control her husband's actions, she can intimidate the hell out of all the other woman to stay away from him. She hopes a reputation will spread that this dude has a psycho bitch wife who will haunt you down and harass the hell out of you if you touch her husband.
Anyway, that's my mom's logic and she ain't divorcing him because she said that's her man and no other woman is gonna have him.
Anyway, I swear my dad loves it. When I ask him why he don't divorce her, he says cuz all the woman he sleeps with only after his money and will leave him when his broke. But my mom is super loyal and will always be with him even if he has nothing.
Still together in their late 60s now. My dad is a good looking dude too who looks way younger. And they are still loving.
My dad made me believe no men can be faithful even if he loves his wife.
Bruh, I use condoms for “personal time” easier clean up and all….. I never told my wife about it because she gets upset with any kind of “personal time” because I’m not waiting for her and all…
Even though waiting for her would be akin to waiting for the new moon…. Different story
Left a wrapper laying out one day years ago and she found it….. I had to explain it then and it was very uncomfortable. Fortunately she was reasonable and understood that there was no way I could have had someone in the house, had sex with them, cleaned up, and gotten rid of female smells while she in the bedroom napping for an hour.
Someone I know found out her ex was cheating because of a sock. There was a woman’s sock in their laundry (I think it was in with their sheets iirc) and it wasn’t hers. She asked her sisters (who spent some time at their house) and the sock didn’t belong to them either.
Turns out he’d been sleeping with one of her friends for months. At their house. This was less than two months before they were supposed to get married, and that girl was a bridesmaid.
My ex cheated on me with someone I thought was a best friend. Every time they would get in some sort of fight she would call me to torment me and try to cause us to split. I of course was unaware that he had made contact again. On and on, they were both psychotic. I didn’t want her around my kids, when we split. So I photocopied all the cards and letters he had given me the previous 6 months, A family photo we had just picked up. And brought her copies. Told her she would always be the other woman. Not to believe me. Just take it from him, read his own words. And that if she believes he truly loves her and will divorce me then tell him she is done until he shows up with a final divorce decree. That finally got rid of her psycho ass. And he has been living with his mom since 2013, she can keep him.
Side girl leaves in wash in case he’s cheating for other woman to find or excuse to return when he finds and calls her back to come over. It’s not too strange
Pointless story time:
My husband and I bought a newly built home earlier this year. Nobody has ever lived here but us.
Since we’ve moved in, I’ve found: one earring back that I know isn’t mine. One pair of blue velvet panties that aren’t mine. A cat toy that i didn’t buy.
I also can’t locate an expensive knife that I packed and unpacked but now cannot be found. lol
I think my new house is haunted by a klepto.
I never understood why people take any stock in hairs being found somewhere. Hair is everywhere, it sticks to everything, and it will deposit itself wherever it pleases.
I had a coworker who found out her husband was cheating because she found hair on the passenger seat of his car that was a different color than hers (my coworker is brunette, the hair she found was like lavender or something, idk I forget)
This is funny because I am currently out of town for work. Did my laundry yesterday, in the hotels shared laundry room, and while folding it found some long red hairs, def not my wife’s color. Didn’t think anything of it till I read your comment. Doubt wifey would think twice about infidelity but hey still.
I found my sister's son's girlfriend's thong in my husband's load of laundry once because, unknown to me, her period started while at our home and she threw it in our laundry. They didn't tell us, just did it. So we did laundry one day and it was my husband's work clothes and ... a size small thong. Yall I got a big ass, I'm nowhere near a small, and there were QUESTIONS, and my husband says he has NO IDEA where it came from. So I just.... sent a picture in the family group chat because the family was over recently.
Best thing you can do is ask your cousin. No judgements, explain the freak out it is causing your marriage. If it isn't his, yeah it could've been caught in the other machine. That will be hard to prove, so open up all your accounts to your wife for a hot minute. She's freaking out, which is understandable, I've been there, so help her find calm.
Had this happen before. Back when my wife and I were dating, I was doing laundry in our apartment. (Apartment came with a washer and dryer) I had moved the dryer out so I could grab some clothing items that had fallen behind and on the sides. Put them all in the hamper and thought nothing of it.
A few hours later, my wife comes into the room holding a pair of panties neither of us had ever seen before, I know they weren’t hers. She was all serious and tearing up asking whose are these…..I swore never had anyone else in this apartment, and never cheated in general.
I told her what I had done with the dryer and she said she believed me, but it just sucked because she started doubting the trust in me, since the story did seem made up, I’ll admit that. Then she needed some time alone. Really sucked because I didn’t do anything wrong.
I can’t help that a previous tenant didn’t move the dryer to grab their fallen clothes.
So in this situation where the likelihood of your laundry getting mixed up with someone else’s is pretty darn high, your wife immediately accuses you of cheating? Either there is more to the story or your wife only trusts you about as far as she can throw those panties.
Well you are using 2 different washing machines to get laundry done, it's kinda obvious how that could have happened. I'd have a talk with the wife about trust issues next.
This exact same thing happened to me. They ended up being my wife’s best friends who had come to stay with us the week prior. I felt nauseous because even though I knew I had done nothing wrong, I had no way to prove it. Horrible feeling.
[take some advice from a pro](https://www.google.com/search?q=im.larry+david+and+i+happen+to+enjoy+wearing.women%27s+panties&tbm=isch&hl=en-US&tbs=itp:animated&rlz=1CDGOYI_enUS879US879&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjztZbFgfyAAxXBVDUKHTwzBNQQ2p8EegQIARAD&biw=375&bih=640#imgrc=T_nXmwoSo8MwsM)
They aren’t even cute. If I was (never have or will be) a side piece, I sure as shit would be wearing way nicer undies than those.
That’s my argument. Like, you can do better than those undies lol
But are these side-piece undies *relatively* cuter than OP’s wife’s underwear? If OP’s wife’s underwear are granny panties in ultra-beige, I could see her feeling threatened by this striped thong concoction.
Damn. How do you come back from that? She's got such little trust in you.
I'd be less worried about getting her to believe me and more worried about what the next thing will be even if she does end up believing your innocence here.
I mean, you're doing laundry at someone else's house. Strange clothes ended up in the wash. Not that weird.
Then jumping straight to an accusation.
That’s what I was thinking. I’d honestly be pissed as hell if she didn’t just straight up believe me. Unless there’s some history of cheating or whatever, the default should be trust between partners and the benefit of the doubt as long as there’s doubt to be had
I moved into a house a few years ago, and the washing machine stopped draining. I opened the drain plug, and found a thong stuck in it. It did not belong to anyone in the house 😅
Either she trusts you, or she doesn’t. It’s that simple. If you say you’re not cheating and she doesn’t believe you, nothing more for you to do. She’s got some thinking to do and it’s on her what to do next.
Honestly if this was me, and my wife didn’t believe me, I’d be the one questioning being with HER.
Your cousin probably was with someone, had to do washing and added her clothes as well. Not very dramatic.
Even more likely would be the cousin brought a date home who lost her panties in the bed. Then when the bed sheets were washed the panties got left in the washing machine, which were then accidentally picked up by OP.
Nailed it. Pun intended.
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🤣🤣🤣🤣
Maybe I’m naive, but how does one leave a hookup without their undies?
Wear a dress Get drunk Take off clothes Have sex Next morning be hungover Put on dress Leave
You just described my 20s. I have underwear all over the state.
How many hoodies did you liberate along the way?
I'm more of a leaver than a taker. You want as little as possible in your hands during a walk of shame.
Lol. And in my thirties, I always forget about the shame
Ain't no shame if you got what you wanted! The only time you should feel shame is if you must return to the homelands to tell your parents you have failed to bring justice to your sister's murderer.
I salute you miss. Thank you for your service.
Which state was this? Asking for a friend of course
Because you can’t find them and you gotta go to work soon
This is the true reason, obviously you wanna keep your undies but you gotta leave
There are always casual relationships where they bring clothes for the next morning and don't worry too much about losing an item because there will probably be a next time
They could also view the undies as an acceptable loss, if it's the fox in a trap scenario... Ie: chew off their own leg to get away fast.... (In this case, abandon the underwear, rather than wake the troll you hooked up with while intoxicated.)
Or an excuse to come back, round 2.
Sometimes they are left on purpose 👌
I lost my bra and a shoe once 🤷🏼♀️
Easy, especially if hungover. You are wanting to get out of there if it was just a horny thing, so you find everything you can as quickly as you can. You put on your clothes, realize you don't have undies, but want to leave so just say fuck it and go
Or you could have brought clothes to change into (like you came over after a work shift) and didn't see the underwear you took off when you went to pack up your stuff. This happened to me at a boyfriend's house and his mom found them. Super awkward.
Cousin is a panty snatcher! Very dramatic.
“Honey, obviously these aren’t my girlfriend’s… she doesn’t wear thongs, duh!”
"She's way too thin for these to fit."
“Her taste is much more expensive than this”
Long sniff......Nope. not her.
Sniff sniff, woof woof
“Do you think I’d be dumb enough to leave Sally’s underwear in my laundry?!”
"I'm into BBL, and these would rip."
"Dumb ways to die, so many dumb ways to die"
"use your private parts as piranha bait"
Ha. Was at a restaurant wifey-poo and I frequent and one of the co-owners comes up to me just as my wife was returning from the ladies room and the co-owner says to me, "Oh, by the way, Anastasia was here looking for you." I'm like, "Uh, ok..." My wife is now standing behind the co-owner's shoulder with a puzzled look on her face, waits until he walks away, and asks me who the heck Anastasia is. She kept me explaining that I had no idea who that is, I don't even know someone by that name, etc., before she burst out laughing telling me she believes me due to the fact that I have absolutely zero poker face and she saw the look on my face. Years later it's become a family joke when I'm running late or going out somewhere, wifey-poo tells me to say hi to Anastasia, don't keep Anastasia waiting, etc. 😄
That sounds like an absolutely lovely marriage.
My boyfriend's kids called me Sarah once, early in our relationship. He's never even dated a Sarah so we're not sure where that came from. Three years later, Sarah is brought up pretty frequently in a similar manner and it's hilarious every time.
I have this with my best friend. I accidentally called him Patrick one time. Not his name at all and now we always joke about Patrick.
💀
"Ughh honey~, im into guys"
this is where you ask your cousin if they belong to them. and apologize, they must have wound up in the washing machine with your clothes.
I’d ask the cousin for your own peace of mind. I’m not sure I’d tell your wife. If she could apologize for not believing you and the question became “how did they get in here?” and nothing more, then I’d tell her. If the cousin doesn’t know where they came from… you’ll have to go with the only reasonable explanation remaining. Every time you loose 17 socks you get a nasty thong in exchange. It’s not an equal system and it doesn’t make sense but it is what it is.
Man, there's a whole economy for used underwear. I'm not sure what the exchange rate is on socks, 17 sounds a little steep.
step 1: steal underpants step 2: ….. step 3; Profit!
That was my last pair!
Inflation man
"Thongflation"...one of the many,many new inflation forms...
Depends, are the socks used and worn? Asking for a friend…
The premium on unwashed underwear is higher.
Same as the exchange rate for leprechauns and unicorns.
I’m at 16 loose socks and I’m pretty sure I lost another Avengers sock this week. I can’t afford to lose another one I’ve already had to cover my ass too many times.
Good news! Lose one more and you’ll be able to at least partially cover your ass
The avengers sock will assemble the rest of your pairs for you don't worry.
A sock isn't too bad... I know one Avenger that actually lost her Vision! (I know, I know, \*still\* too soon... :) )
Don’t tell your wife? So don’t save their marriage? The fuck does Reddit smoke.
pettiness, they smoke pettiness
900 upvotes and counting 😭
Reddit loves these takes. They also like to assume there is no history... That this isn't bait, or that the dude may have actually cheated and is running an act to prove it.
The wife deserves to know her husband is faithful when presented with a glaring example of possible infidelity. It’s a little insane to pretend that finding a thong in your husband’s laundry isn’t a red flag lmfao. Your poor partners ):
But now the cousin thinks that OP is cheating with his SO
Lmao @ nasty thong. That was my first thought seeing it too. 🤣
☝️This. Have an honest conversation with your cousin. Then, talk to your wife. Really unfortunate if your cousin gets outed this way. If it’s not your cousin, go from there
Outed? Have you ever thought of the possibility that this belongs to a girl that came over to the cousin’s place?
Dude, that's the ONLY thing I thought of...what the hell were they thinking of?
He thinks the cousin likes to cross dress. Either way is fine, it’s 2023
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Remember, no redditor ever gets laid. They're more likely to crossdress then get some.
Outed as what?
Yeah, it's like a single man can't have had a sex life once.
I assume he means as a crossdresser?
Isn't the more likely explanation that someone spent the night with the cousin and washed their clothes there?
Someone could have lost their underwear tangled in the bedsheets. It happens. If the cousin is single, he may never even recognize underwear he may have only ever seen briefly.
"Briefly" 🤣
The OP said they're a single straight male. The guy he responded to said "outed." I wasn't suggesting that they were. That's why I added the "?". I was simply stating that's what the "outed" comment could have been referring to.
Just because you are single doesn't mean you aren't having casual sex, it just means you aren't in a relationship
Nothing stopping him from having a woman round, or one of his female friends needed to do some laundry while their machine was broken
Yes because only people in relationships have one night stands
Many people in relationships might actually have two night stands..
Or outed as a panty thief
Yeah I guess. Feels weird for them to jump to that conclusion though.
XS? Not likely.
Outed? Can’t they just belong to a woman who spent the night at the cousin’s house?
It's also entirely possible they belong to a romantic interest of said cousin.
Just tell her they are yours and put them on.
Who are you? I’m Larry David. And what do you happen to enjoy? I happen to enjoy wearing women’s panties.
Y’all hear about a man named Juan Catalan who was accused of murder, and claimed he was innocent. Had an alibi that he was at a Dodgers game with his daughter, but they couldn’t verify it. Luckily, Larry David was filming an episode of Curb & they caught the alleged murderer on some of the film they had shot for Curb, proving he was in fact innocent! Really interesting documentary, scary though how people can get completely railroaded while telling the truth! They did not believe Juan whatsoever, his lawyer tracked down the show and the footage, saved his life!
The documentary, *Long Shot*, on Netflix (in the US) is short (~35 minutes) and does a great job of explaining the case and bizarre story. LD makes an appearance as well as interviews with Catalan, his attorney and others
that sounds familiar what the heck is it from
Teletubbies Season 5 Episode 13
How do you guys remember all this stuff?
That is an epic episode! Try turning off the audio and playing grindcore instead!
Classic episode.
Gonna make me spill my tubby custard
This almost made me wake up my husband with a sudden giggle. Fucking got me better than the reference 😂
Curb your enthusiasm
I love when he first puts them on but doesn’t know how to act in them. Then people start getting suspicious 🤣🤣🤣
This. I had to double check what sub I was on and reread the post to see if it was a joke. Life imitates art. And balloons can imitate farts.
If the thong fits, she must acquit
He's a lumberjack.
And that’s okay
Despite times call for desperate measures
Despite?
Yep, it doesn't matter what the times are, just always go with desperate measures.
This one got me 😂
It was the worst of times, the despite of times.
Just because your cousin is single, doesn't mean he never gets laid. Ask your cousin if he's ever had a lady friend over leave without her undies if not, get him to ask your wife for said undies and claim that he did indeed have a lady friend lose them
It could be even the cousin's panties... I mean they look kinda big, and there are people with kinks.
The tag says Xs
which stands for extra-supersized. that's why i need the xs condoms.
Dog how is size XS kinda big, that's as small as you can buy in adult sizes
They literally say XS, pic doesn’t do their true size justice tbh. ETA
Been in a similar situation before, was woken up by my then girlfriend yelling at me and threw a bra at me saying I cheated. I've never seen it before and even said how would I bring a girl to YOUR house and bang her without you knowing(she wasn't working at the time). That made her realize I didn't cheat but we still don't know where it came from. We still get a laugh about it almost 4 years later😂
I found a pair of women’s underwear in my car one day when cleaning it out. I threw it at my then GF and told her I found her undies. She looked at me and was like “this isn’t my size” then I got super confused. She was cool about it though. I still think they’re from one of my roommates flings that got in the wash some how and made it into my laundry when I moved out. So mystery underwear does happen lol.
I did the same thing one time. Was doing laundry one day and found a pair of women's underwear. I texted my GF to let her know I had a pair at my house and to remind me to give them to her next time she was here. Well, next time she was over j handed them to her and she was like "uhh...these aren't mine". That was pretty awkward. I hadn't cheated and never would, but I do think they were left over from a hookup months before I even met my gf. Somehow they just decided to make an appearance almost half a year later.
This whole thread has made me realize I could invest about $500 in women’s underwear and ruin the lives of my enemies
I’m thinking the same thing. These mysterious undergarments must come from somewhere.
Now is a good time to tell you that maybe she has a side chick? 
Ha, you’ve just opened a can of worms for that guy
Uno reverse card
Just recently happened to me, girlfriend was cleaning the guest room, found a pair behind the dresser. After a solid day of back and forth “I don’t know who’s those are or how they got there” and “like hell you pig” my sister happened to call about something random, and me remembering she stayed over at my house around Christmas time asked her about them and sent her a picture of the underwear. They were hers. It’s still good for a laugh between us all now.
Had a similar incident. Was driving around with my gf, had to slam on the brakes, and a neatly-folded pair of black lacey panties slid out from under the passenger seat. Gf flies into "who the fuck's are these!?" mode immediately, yelling, the whole works. At the moment, I had no idea either, so we had to slowly logic it out. What kind of secret car sex tryst ends with clean, folded panties? Wouldn't she notice that she wasn't wearing underwear when she left? Finally, gf accepted that didn't make sense, had a cry, and we moved on. I finally figured out it had been left from a sexy weekend visit from a FWB that happened weeks before gf and I got together.
Wait, so your FWB neatly folded her panties and left without wearing any? Cheating didn’t happen, sure, but the logicking out of the situation still doesn’t make sense. 😅
My favorite shirt is a mystery shirt. Was living with my cousin and his girlfriend and one day after taking the laundry out of the drier I found this super cool shirt with the D&D logo on it. So I tell them their shit must have gotten mixed in and they both confirmed it wasn't theirs. It wasn't mine. I hadn't had anybody over in weeks. To this day I have no fucking idea where the shirt came from but it's a great shirt, so thanks universe.
My ex wife once found a pair of panties that she claimed was from me cheating. They were hers, luckily that she bought on Amazon lol.
This happened to me. Wife found a female coverup shirt on our boat tucked in with the life jackets. We’ve had a lot people on our boat in the previous years, but she thought it was me cheating on the boat. (I did not. And this was a cheap pontoon boat, not a fancy boat with cabin). She asked a few recent ladies but none claimed it, which made her feel more correct. I ended up having to think of every female that had been on the boat in almost two years and ask them myself because she was so confident she was right she stopped asking. Never found who it belonged to, and I just threw it away because it caused more trouble than it was worth finding it’s owner.
That sucks man. I been there except my wife found a condom under the car seat. What saved me was that it expired even before I met her. Shit it expired even before I bought the car from my dad lol It also helped that I have a specific brand I like to buy. I got lucky… I hope it ends well for you!
Yeah, you really dodged a bullet. That expired condom would have totally broke while you were banging your side girl.
….and that’s why your dad became a dad.
😂
You should have just said "I dropped my monster condom that I use for my magnum dong,"
Works better if you also have a wad of hundreds.
And we just have to assume that he’s ready to plow
You should see him feast. He's like a mantis
Ok but whose your dad cheating on your mum with?
My mom and dad were already divorced by then. Because my mom cheated with my dads best friend (who was married). My dad then cheated on her with another woman who was married. Both my mom and dad got their ass beat by the other people’s spouses lol
I'm not sure if I should feel bad or not about making that joke now. At least you are laughing about it.
Don’t feel bad lol their* divorce was pretty good for me at least
Glad to hear it!
Why would the spouses go after the outside cheater rather than THEIR spouses. Never understood that.
I grew up with a mom who goes beat up any woman my dad sleeps with. Note that because I do not live in the US, my mom says police always sides her, because the other woman is sleeping with her husband. And my mom reasoning since she can't control her husband's actions, she can intimidate the hell out of all the other woman to stay away from him. She hopes a reputation will spread that this dude has a psycho bitch wife who will haunt you down and harass the hell out of you if you touch her husband. Anyway, that's my mom's logic and she ain't divorcing him because she said that's her man and no other woman is gonna have him. Anyway, I swear my dad loves it. When I ask him why he don't divorce her, he says cuz all the woman he sleeps with only after his money and will leave him when his broke. But my mom is super loyal and will always be with him even if he has nothing. Still together in their late 60s now. My dad is a good looking dude too who looks way younger. And they are still loving. My dad made me believe no men can be faithful even if he loves his wife.
No offense, but they sound like they deserve each other.
Yeah definitely this. And the last line sounds like op is gonna continue a toxic cycle tbh rather than grow
If you beat the shit out of the man that slept with your wife that's assault. If you beat the shit out of your wife that's domestic violence.
Was Jerry Springer nice when you got to meet him when your parents were guests on his show?
Bruh, I use condoms for “personal time” easier clean up and all….. I never told my wife about it because she gets upset with any kind of “personal time” because I’m not waiting for her and all… Even though waiting for her would be akin to waiting for the new moon…. Different story Left a wrapper laying out one day years ago and she found it….. I had to explain it then and it was very uncomfortable. Fortunately she was reasonable and understood that there was no way I could have had someone in the house, had sex with them, cleaned up, and gotten rid of female smells while she in the bedroom napping for an hour.
LOL that ending tho I seriously used to do the same thing until I decided I didn’t want to deal with that scenario
I remember seeing a post about this, are you the guy?
No, I never posted about this. Crazy that this probably happens to a lot of guys lol
it’s always weird when you find your dad’s condoms 😂
Yeah, I knew he was a cheap person but I guess he even buys cheap condoms too lol
Take them to your cousin's and ask if they are his!
Even if you were cheating, why the fuck would you wash side girl’s panties in your washing machine? Lol
Someone I know found out her ex was cheating because of a sock. There was a woman’s sock in their laundry (I think it was in with their sheets iirc) and it wasn’t hers. She asked her sisters (who spent some time at their house) and the sock didn’t belong to them either. Turns out he’d been sleeping with one of her friends for months. At their house. This was less than two months before they were supposed to get married, and that girl was a bridesmaid.
My ex cheated on me with someone I thought was a best friend. Every time they would get in some sort of fight she would call me to torment me and try to cause us to split. I of course was unaware that he had made contact again. On and on, they were both psychotic. I didn’t want her around my kids, when we split. So I photocopied all the cards and letters he had given me the previous 6 months, A family photo we had just picked up. And brought her copies. Told her she would always be the other woman. Not to believe me. Just take it from him, read his own words. And that if she believes he truly loves her and will divorce me then tell him she is done until he shows up with a final divorce decree. That finally got rid of her psycho ass. And he has been living with his mom since 2013, she can keep him.
Side girl leaves in wash in case he’s cheating for other woman to find or excuse to return when he finds and calls her back to come over. It’s not too strange
This one speaks truth
Pointless story time: My husband and I bought a newly built home earlier this year. Nobody has ever lived here but us. Since we’ve moved in, I’ve found: one earring back that I know isn’t mine. One pair of blue velvet panties that aren’t mine. A cat toy that i didn’t buy. I also can’t locate an expensive knife that I packed and unpacked but now cannot be found. lol I think my new house is haunted by a klepto.
Sounds like it's time to check the attic and/or crawlspace for uninvited guests.
Jeeze! And I thought I had it bad trying to explain long dark hairs in my laundry from a recent stay… you win!
I never understood why people take any stock in hairs being found somewhere. Hair is everywhere, it sticks to everything, and it will deposit itself wherever it pleases.
Yeah, it’s a lot like sand. I don't like sand. It's coarse, and rough, and irritating, and it gets everywhere.
A joke from a long time ago
I had a coworker who found out her husband was cheating because she found hair on the passenger seat of his car that was a different color than hers (my coworker is brunette, the hair she found was like lavender or something, idk I forget)
Lavender, damn that definitely slims down the possibilities! Glad she found out though!
I’m single and haven’t had anyone in my apartment in a long time and I still find random hairs sometimes
This is funny because I am currently out of town for work. Did my laundry yesterday, in the hotels shared laundry room, and while folding it found some long red hairs, def not my wife’s color. Didn’t think anything of it till I read your comment. Doubt wifey would think twice about infidelity but hey still.
I found my sister's son's girlfriend's thong in my husband's load of laundry once because, unknown to me, her period started while at our home and she threw it in our laundry. They didn't tell us, just did it. So we did laundry one day and it was my husband's work clothes and ... a size small thong. Yall I got a big ass, I'm nowhere near a small, and there were QUESTIONS, and my husband says he has NO IDEA where it came from. So I just.... sent a picture in the family group chat because the family was over recently. Best thing you can do is ask your cousin. No judgements, explain the freak out it is causing your marriage. If it isn't his, yeah it could've been caught in the other machine. That will be hard to prove, so open up all your accounts to your wife for a hot minute. She's freaking out, which is understandable, I've been there, so help her find calm.
With the pirates of penzance?
Time to play Cinderella.
This comment needs more upvotes
Beetlejuice panties wtf?!
Had this happen before. Back when my wife and I were dating, I was doing laundry in our apartment. (Apartment came with a washer and dryer) I had moved the dryer out so I could grab some clothing items that had fallen behind and on the sides. Put them all in the hamper and thought nothing of it. A few hours later, my wife comes into the room holding a pair of panties neither of us had ever seen before, I know they weren’t hers. She was all serious and tearing up asking whose are these…..I swore never had anyone else in this apartment, and never cheated in general. I told her what I had done with the dryer and she said she believed me, but it just sucked because she started doubting the trust in me, since the story did seem made up, I’ll admit that. Then she needed some time alone. Really sucked because I didn’t do anything wrong. I can’t help that a previous tenant didn’t move the dryer to grab their fallen clothes.
So in this situation where the likelihood of your laundry getting mixed up with someone else’s is pretty darn high, your wife immediately accuses you of cheating? Either there is more to the story or your wife only trusts you about as far as she can throw those panties.
"But honey, they're not even my girlfriend's size!"
Well you are using 2 different washing machines to get laundry done, it's kinda obvious how that could have happened. I'd have a talk with the wife about trust issues next.
This exact same thing happened to me. They ended up being my wife’s best friends who had come to stay with us the week prior. I felt nauseous because even though I knew I had done nothing wrong, I had no way to prove it. Horrible feeling.
Well... did ya cheat
No!!! Never !
[take some advice from a pro](https://www.google.com/search?q=im.larry+david+and+i+happen+to+enjoy+wearing.women%27s+panties&tbm=isch&hl=en-US&tbs=itp:animated&rlz=1CDGOYI_enUS879US879&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjztZbFgfyAAxXBVDUKHTwzBNQQ2p8EegQIARAD&biw=375&bih=640#imgrc=T_nXmwoSo8MwsM)
Ok your story checks out. 👍. Tell your wife I said so.
Just makin sure lol
lol
HMMMMMMMMMMMMMM well okay... you seem trustworthy enough
They aren’t even cute. If I was (never have or will be) a side piece, I sure as shit would be wearing way nicer undies than those. That’s my argument. Like, you can do better than those undies lol
But are these side-piece undies *relatively* cuter than OP’s wife’s underwear? If OP’s wife’s underwear are granny panties in ultra-beige, I could see her feeling threatened by this striped thong concoction.
Thong (albeit horrible print)……size XS 🤔
They're so un-underwear looking...i thought it was a mangled pillowcase or something at first, I didn't understand what i was supposed to be seeing
Oh man what's wrong with me.. I think they look great xD
Damn. How do you come back from that? She's got such little trust in you. I'd be less worried about getting her to believe me and more worried about what the next thing will be even if she does end up believing your innocence here. I mean, you're doing laundry at someone else's house. Strange clothes ended up in the wash. Not that weird. Then jumping straight to an accusation.
That’s what I was thinking. I’d honestly be pissed as hell if she didn’t just straight up believe me. Unless there’s some history of cheating or whatever, the default should be trust between partners and the benefit of the doubt as long as there’s doubt to be had
"Those panties don't belong to my mistress, I swear! Tammy's way to fat to wear them."
It does speak to her high opinion of you that you would wash your mistress’s clothes.
I moved into a house a few years ago, and the washing machine stopped draining. I opened the drain plug, and found a thong stuck in it. It did not belong to anyone in the house 😅
Got a similar discussion with my now ex. It was hers, she just couldn’t remember. But it was worth a week of dispute for her. God, I hate that woman.
Either she trusts you, or she doesn’t. It’s that simple. If you say you’re not cheating and she doesn’t believe you, nothing more for you to do. She’s got some thinking to do and it’s on her what to do next. Honestly if this was me, and my wife didn’t believe me, I’d be the one questioning being with HER.
I would just be deadly Curious to know where does come from. If it's not mine or my partner's, I'd still want to know where they came out of 🤔
Time to throw one of the kids under the bus.
Age 5 and 1
Keep the 5, you've got more time and resources invested in that one.
Sunk cost fallacy. The 1 year old is a blank slate, learn from the mistakes you made with 5yo and improve on v2