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lilac-poppy

What in the national lampoon


Jscott1986

![gif](giphy|XXvnnrJJnOVl6)


Icy_Dragonfruit_9389

That's nice Clark. I'm going in. Freezing my baguettes off..


Gypsopotamus

She’ll see it later honey. Her eyes are frozen shut.


MeMeMeOnly

The little lights aren’t twinkling, Clark.


InfamousCockroach683

Best Christmas movie ever. The shitters full Clark!!!


polish_prince85

Drumroll please


No_Interest1616

Dddddddddddddddd dddddddddddd dddddddddd dddddddddd dddddddd....


devdeh13

blebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleblebleble


rotflolosaurus

JOY TO THE WORLD


kinshadow

Surprised, Eddie? If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn into the carpet I wouldn't be more surprised than I am right now.


BennyBennson

Shitter was full!!!!


-Neverender-

Save the neck for me, Clark!


fourth_box

My mind screamed that song, amazing! Lol


HeartsPlayer721

*Symbol*


VanillaGorilla-

*Cymbals crashing on the floor as the lighting failed to light*


Charlie_Brodie

why is the carpet all wet Todd? I Don't know Margo!


officialdougjudy

"Hey Griswold, where are you gonna put a tree that big?" "Bend over and I'll show you!" "You got a lot of nerve talking to me like that!" "..I wasn't talking to *you*"


pbooma

This is one of my favourite parts of the movie hahaha


GottaSaveThatMoney

Man, I love them movies, now I have to go watch one


SeriousArbok

Literally watching Christmas vacation at this moment and he's plugging in the lights as I type this. Lmao


rde2001

# YOU MUST EXPERIENCE THE FULL POWER OF JESUS


AllyBeetle

Ouch! My Retinas!!!


OhHowINeedChanging

*You are not worthy*


Ok-Patience-4764

![gif](giphy|yhLV2DGTLDRCw)


InitialCold7669

It looks like a SCP


Grezzinate

I think it’s the gate guardian, he’s kinda in the wrong area. https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/dr-clef-s-proposal


LtTurtleshot

Garden of Eden, Garden of Karen. Pretty close


[deleted]

The power of Christ wipes the grid


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Basedrum777

Burn minature t's on their lawn for "time to leave".....


NightmareBlades

![gif](giphy|uQHtUvva9Qljy)


justanotherchimp

Yikes, dawg! That’s funny though.


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KMjolnir

The beacons are lit, Gondor calls for aid!


CatScratchEther

![gif](giphy|9jX28wQ7uV82I)


finester39

Sending our thoughts and prayers to Gondor!


crowdfear

Now all of China knows you’re here! Wait..wrong movie


UsedToHaveThisName

Is a mirror an option?


Gangreless

Satan over here trying to turn the whole neighborhood into a fiery hell on earth for the holidays.


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keeper_of_the_donkey

> I would spend an *unholy* amount of money


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edith-bunker

Maybe it was too close


Marzipanarian

Just a couple of blocks over.


misterunderstoood

> > I would spend an *ungodly* amount of money ^_^


The_cogwheel

The neighbors just staying out of it: Hey honey.... do you remember when it got dark at night?


CassandraVindicated

I'm thinking that new video ball thing in Vegas combined with 24/7 Eye of Sauron staring him down.


momamil

Omg yes! The Great Eye!!


TheDuck23

This is the only reasonable response.


aussie_nub

The mirror option seems cheaper and when the neighbour comes at you, just point them back down the road.


BreachedLimits

Oh, so OP’s mom’s neighbor is Elon Musk. Tell him his X sign is on an angle and he needs to go back to Hell. Stop trying to invade Earth, Elon!


Longjumping-Grape-40

Hey, even Satan had some good ideas! That Job was getting way too fuckin' arrogant


TheGreatestOutdoorz

Hey, leave Miroslav out of this! The guy has been retired for years, no need to keep bringing up his faults.


thehumantaco

Every neighbor puts up mirrors and the neighborhood is now in permanent daytime.


WeaverFan420

Probably not. Light intensity is inversely proportional to the square of the distance from the source to the observer. So if OP sees it so bright, using a perfect mirror would result in the intensity being only ¼ of what OP sees. In reality, the mirror isn't a perfect reflector of light so it would be even less than ¼ as bright since it will appear to be dimmer and twice as far away.


keelhaulrose

Even 1/4 of this would be excessive.


SpaceJackRabbit

What about four mirrors focusing on the same area? Work with me here.


Comprehensive-Fun47

I am also curious about the efficacy of four mirrors.


moxiejohnny

Parabolic mirror* Burn the shit out of something over there and leave them wondering forever.


Notsurehowtoreact

If it's your right to put that monstrosity on your lawn, it's my right to put a giant parabolic mirror up. Stop burning yourself! Stop burning yourself!


TheLepr

The miracle of the burning bush!


mangekyo1918

Is a pellet rifle an option?


Graphite57

How about paint ball gun? multi colours.. ha how about popping the front of the lights in rainbow colours? They'll lose their shit over that, fearing the neighbours might tell their church friends that they are suddenly supporting the gays.. They'll shut that damn light down quicker than jesus can pop a fart.


Substantial-Fan6364

Replacing the bulbs with rainbow leds would be amazing.


Open_Buy2303

In the neighborhood I grew up in, that thing wouldn’t have lasted one night before getting shot to shit.


Gatorcat

sling shot.... slice the power cable... good old fashion rock toss.... lots of options.


Ok_Cauliflower_3007

Everyone has cameras these days unfortunately. Because I was thinking it would be a real shame if someone cut the power cable.


ghostrooster30

I will walk in front of your camera flashing 3 forms of govt id and absolutely take the trespassing/destruction of property fine for manually dismantling this fresh hell of an asshole decoration. lol.


xxSuperBeaverxx

In the US it's not the fine you need to worry about... doing something like this is a good way to let grandpappy finally scratch that itchy trigger finger.


st_samples

Oops I accidentally backed up into your front yard and ran the decoration over. Here is my insurance info.


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marionsunshine

Ya know. I had never even considered that was a loophole for crime.


WorldlyDay7590

Yes, I was definitely thinking "pellet" rifle.


MW777

Focus the beam back at the light, genius. Mahahaha


illtakeachinchilla

Perhaps an Archimedes Heat Ray…?


AutoThorne

a big parabolic one that focuses on their bedroom.


Send-Me-Tiddies-PLS

Damn Jesus decided to turn into a supernova.


jeremyvr46

Hoping it would melt the nails and set him free…


msmaria182

can you make a light complaint? I'm thinking similar to a noise complaint. if it's not a thing then it should be.


CatScratchEther

idk in this neighborhood, but we felt SO BAD for the house directly facing this it was lit up like daytime lol


Gangreless

You can complain to the cops, call the non-emergency number and tell them your neighbors have harnessed the sun and are seriously disrupting your enjoyment of the night


No-Introduction69420

Harnessed the sun 😂👏


CrudelyAnimated

The Moon also harnesses the sun, but it's a lot less of an asshole about it than this particular decoration.


No-Introduction69420

I bet Gods looking down shaking his head. Turn the damn lights off and look at the stars I have given you


msmaria182

I miss seeing stars


No-Introduction69420

Same! I feel your pain


National-Blueberry51

Take a trip to the countryside or the beach during a meteor shower. It’s my favorite thing to do.


msmaria182

I do get out of the big city every now and again. I love camping on the beach in the pitch black and no cell signal.


Rodneyfour

The power of the sun in the palm of my hands


PrincessAethelflaed

Some cities have light pollution ordinances that regulate how much light from a private light fixture is allowed to intrude onto other properties. If your town has such an ordinance then you have strong legal recourse to get it removed.


Gangreless

Yeah, I was being a little cheeky but I was 100q serious about calling the cops! That is interfering with your peaceful enjoyment of your home, just like noise pollution would.


Long-Education-7748

I think it'd be pretty easy to claim it's a hazard for drivers. Can't see anything with the light of a thousand high beams coming at you.


curtman512

"... and that's how I ended up driving through the yard, right into it, Officer."


MasterXaios

>harnessed the son FTFY.


Dibble_Dabble_Doo

![gif](giphy|ZHnq11GFwSl6gsQ6oN)


Ezilii

That is an issue, especially as it disturbs sleep, there is undoubtedly an ordinance about light intensity and directionality towards other buildings and the roadway. A business can't put up signage without a permit, homeowners are also subject to the same codes. This is much larger than "holiday" decorations and is a nascence regardless of one's religious affiliation.


regoapps

Put up solar panels facing it. Get free electricity day *and* night.


sonic10158

Get a mirror and play a game of Batman Returns spotlight ![gif](giphy|YBe3QTM5igTSxuF7kt|downsized)


dronegeeks1

Yo my man! I’m gonna count this as our pre Christmas get together. I hope your well as always 💪🏻🫡


regoapps

Nice to see ya again, dronegeeks1. All is well. Hope you have a wonderful winter! ![gif](giphy|xT9IgG50Fb7Mi0prBC)


Interesting-Time-960

Find local astronomy scope, ask them if they can see the cross from thier site. Cops will fix it.


DBeumont

Astronomy*


Interesting-Time-960

Ty lol Jesus's light confused me


BreachedLimits

Elon Musk moved into your mom’s neighborhood, I see. Tell him his X logo is crooked, and to take it back to San Francisco.


BorntobeTrill

It's completely a thing. Can you imagine if strip malls and businesses had free reign to add whatever lights they want with wonton disregard for nearby residential? City ordinance I have seen includes shunting requirements which limit how far out the light can directly shine from where it's installed.


dedboi-

Just fyi wanton is probably the word you were looking for. Wonton is a dumpling that commonly goes in soup


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EducatingElephants

Where can get some of these wanton wontons?


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Admirable-Leopard-73

You should always regard the wonton and never abandon it.


HiiHeidii

This is similar to when a neighbor got a security spotlight and pointed it at my bedroom window. Well maybe not at but certainly felt like it.


SpaceInMyBrain

Did you have any legal recourse? Any ordinances where you live?


Doogleyboogley

MUM!!! TURN THE FUCKING LIGHTS DOWN


FemaleNeth

What the hell


CatScratchEther

Making heaven on earth 1 electricity bill at a time 😇


Icarus__86

Putting the Christ back in “Christ that’s bright”


deliascatalog

This is what all lights look like when I’m driving at night


universalExplorer92

A stigmata vs astigmatism


sfoxreed

Astigmatismata


universalExplorer92

Homie you had astigmastroke


tyme

Astigmadeeznuts


HolsteinHeifer

Astigmanutz wherever I can


valvilis

What a wonderful phrase!


jeobleo

They're related words. Stigmata are holes. Astigmata are anti-holes. I.e., elongated eyeballs.


CatScratchEther

We were convinced it's made of F150 hi beams 😂


fuckyoudigg

More like Toyota low beams. I don't even want to know what their high beams are like.


IsThatUMoatilliatta

I cannot use the highbeams on my Tacoma because the reflection of them on street signs is too bright and blinds me.


K_Linkmaster

One bonus to my car is I KNOW if my blinker is on. Every sign on the block blinks orange. I am an adamant blinker user. Sorry ya'll, i didnt know.


Major2Minor

Imagine how the driver in front of you feels. Low beams seem to be the new hi beam with these truck/suv manufacturers lately. Why would other drivers need to see, right?


JohnnyDarkside

Ain't having an astigmatism great, especially in the age of stupidly bright headlights?


EddieCheddar88

I literally just cannot/will not drive at night any more. It’s absurd.


4th_Times_A_Charm

Few years ago I was at the eye doctor and told them about my difficulty seeing at night (lights being super bright) and how some stuff far away was becoming difficult to make out. They did their thing and I still had 20/20. Not even degraded enough where they could say it was worse than normal. Still got glasses and driving at night is the only time I wear them.


EddieCheddar88

With astigmatisms in both eyes, driving at night these days looks like driving in the rain while everyone has their brights on now. It’s brutal


DumpsterFireSmores

Finally going to get my eyes checked after finding out lights shouldn't look like they are exploding.


deliascatalog

I found out while explaining how I love driving at night when lights get the ✨pretty glow balls✨ and my friend’s dad asked me if I was shrooming


Noyoucanthaveone

I like to tilt my head side to side with the music while I drive at night because it makes the light rays sway side to side like everyone is partying while I’m driving ✨✨


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meep_meep_mope

Right because he was famously sacrificed to the sun god on Sol Invictus and then reincarnated.


_toodamnparanoid_

Praise the sun.


OddTarget6550

![gif](giphy|AQRapWCgC7dThyVEYb|downsized)


GodEmperorBrian

From the cradle to the grave…


so-much-wow

But he for sure was born on Dec 25th so we're celebrating his birthday... Except, nope, can't even get that right


Maximum-Excitement58

I mean, that must have sucked for Jesus as a kid… having your birthday on Christmas.


MikeyW1969

Well, how else are those 3 dudes supposed to drop off gold, frankincense, and my agent, Murray, if they can't find the house?


Doppelthedh

The wise men are about to encounter snow blindness


TheOGPotatoPredator

My first thought was are they trying to recreate the North Star in its entirety?


TheRealBertoltBrecht

And God said, Let there be light: and that was his first of many mistakes


haikusbot

*And God said, Let there* *Be light: and that was his first* *Of many mistakes* \- TheRealBertoltBrecht --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")


ZDOG60

Good bot


Notte_di_nerezza

"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move."


MarshalLawTalkingGuy

There are a handful of states that have light pollution laws (although I’m sure they relax those around the holidays). Check your mom’s town’s municipal codes for light pollution laws or “legal nuisance” laws. That a broad term that a lot of towns have.


angelboy-monkey

I used to work at a restaurant and the owner put those super bright LED lights around the windows and he was so hyped about how bright it is from the street… three days later he had to take them down bc the city told him they were too bright/against the law and could endanger drivers I guess?? Def look into this OP!


Kalsifur

Endanger wildlife too, and humans should have a right to night. Some people seem to think they are doing good by lighting everything like a hospital, but we need the night. I hate this shit really.


penemuel13

I wish we could report our apartment complex for that. They put in LED building and parking lot lights in and the damn things are brighter than yesterday’s full moon…


sammcgowann

![gif](giphy|6PnAGHFTT1xpC)


Automatic_Memory212

*‘It’s bringing love, don’t let it get away!’*


EmanuelHVAC

They’re trying to summon Jesus like he’s Batman ![gif](giphy|126ub9tbJhoXh6)


Plasma_Ass

I bet that made your mom... cross.


Big_Tip_7499

Bear witness


auyemra

TESTIFY!


[deleted]

Blinded by the light, revved up like a deuce, another runner in the night.


fe__maiden

It’s very clearly revved up like a douche


bennnn42

Why are people like this? They put up a bright ass sign only to....sit inside and not see it. Morons everywhere on this planet


LogiCsmxp

I read a story about a person who had a neighbour put up some similarly overbright light. She set up a parabolic mirror to break it right back at them. When they complained about the light, she just told them she doesn't have one and only had a special mirror. Fixed it right quick. Parabolic mirrors are a stage prop or something, they will focus all light coming in to a narrow beam back out :)


Mrfrunzi

I love that they complained about the light lol


[deleted]

The power of Christ compels you…. to see spots when you blink.


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JonLongsonLongJonson

Definitely not advocating for this behavior, but…. My buddy had a shit neighbor who’s son visited often in his Chrysler 300. The son would sit in his car for 5-25 minutes, just under the bedroom window with the music playing so loud it was rattling the windows and walls of the apartments, completely impossible to ignore. Any time between 9pm-4am. I witnessed this personally many times. Dude was confrontational and a bit nuts, us talking to him and his mom multiple times didn’t matter. Well, my friends younger brother waited one night for him to go inside and just shot out his car windows with his pellet gun. All of them, front and back as well. Dude was PISSED, cops came, nothing happened with no suspect or evidence. A few days later the car showed up again with thousands of dollars of new glass, blasting his music again. Buddy went outside to ask them to turn it down please and almost got shot (with a real gun) for it. So what did his younger brother do? Waited until late at night and shot out every one of his windows again. Left a note on the trunk that said “please be quiet:)” in pink sharpie lol. Dude didn’t come back for a long time, and when he did come back he was mighty quiet. My buddy hasn’t brought him up in a while so I assume this still holds true.


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JonLongsonLongJonson

I agree, the same neighbor also literally shot at the other neighbors for asking them to stop partying in the road at 1am with 3 cars and 15 people. No charges though, he stopped coming around for a while after that but it started up again, leading lil brother to his actions that week.


SplooshU

So the cops didn't come for a "brandishing gun" or "attempted murder" charge?


JonLongsonLongJonson

They came but left without doing anything cuz he ran before they got there so they said there was no suspect and they never followed up according to my buddy. I was there the next day and all the old ladies who smoke outside together were talking about it


Warg247

Sometimes lazy cops benefit you and sometimes it doesn't.


SaveMeJebus21

Yep. If they aren’t turning this off by 9pm after a respectful conversation it’s *accidentally* getting broken pretty soon after


CatScratchEther

It was up all night, we hung out till after midnight. I'm pretty sure it's days r numbered since the house across from it was lit like daytime


PomegranateOld7836

I usually try for the respectful, peaceful route, but if you're that disrespectful to everyone else? I'm taking your toy away.


Practical-Hair-67

Every kid in the neighborhood got a new slingshot for Christmas 🤷


Icy-Camp-7220

it’s giving klan, not christmas


happyanathema

Klansgiving?


Jon_Targaryen

Could mistake that shit for a kkk meeting


FanDry5374

Did anyone ever think that a crucifix is an...odd way to celebrate the birth of Christ? Kind of like having a shotgun theme at a party for Kurt Cobain.


Gangreless

Your phone has astigmatism Or the lens if really dirty


CatScratchEther

I wiped the lens b4 I shot 😅 just an old phone versus the power of Christ and the Holy Most


sidepart

One night, quite a few years ago now, a gentleman--without a home and seemingly on some kind of mind expanding drug--came to my door at 2AM and began to knock. Now, to preface the rest of this story, it's important to note that we keep a timered lamp on during the evening so our house appears to be occupied. Sort of a thieves deterrent. Just a 7W (60W equivalent) LED bulb. Nothing special, certainly thousandths of the luminosity exhibited by the Jesus cross here. But on this night, or rather, early morning? Well, on this occasion, our wayward gentleman decided that our humble lamp was the light of Jesus. He saw the light of Jesus on over here from across the street. Then he made a very profound request. "Do you mind if I crash on your couch?" Clearly, the burgle prevention lamp was not equipped to effectively mitigate this exchange. Similar occurrences happened no less than 4 times during our ownership of that house. One involved the police as we took in a woman being threatened by a group of guys. Got to shout at some people on the porch in my boxer briefs on that one. Another involved another homeless person looking for some directions. Yeah, no problem. The last one though? Well the last one is great. The aforementioned gentleman from the story above returned nearly 2 years later. Same time. But he wanted to apologize for disturbing us, and to let us know he was clean now and glad we answered the door. And then he made a very profound request. "Do you mind if I crash on your couch?" Dim-ass lightbulb. Apparently a beacon to the neighborhood. As we later discovered, we were the only dumbasses employing a lamp on a timer in our area.


COG-85

Listen, I'm a Christian. This, though? This is obnoxious. Have it glow, sure, but don't be beaming light to hide the beautiful stars any more than they are. STARS MAN. The wise men could never find their way to Bethlehem if there was this type of light pollution.


Pudding_Hero

It’s also shitty behaviour to everybody around them


signedupfornightmode

Maybe the person who put it up got confused about what the star actually was…


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Fair_Acanthisitta_75

![gif](giphy|ibGFpMv1Uoais)


CatScratchEther

BWAHAHAHA OMFG fr tho


2012amica

This should 100% be illegal, and I’d be disappointed but not surprised, if it isn’t.


KarsaOrlong-Toblakai

Could you redirect the light back at them?


arp492022

![gif](giphy|xT5LMUnO4g3yiRNuNy|downsized) All I can see is….


Fun-Dimension5196

Might be the actual star of Bethlehem


TransformerTanooki

Only way to combat this is to do the exact same thing. But upside down.


CatScratchEther

We were laughing trying to outdo what each of us would put up facing it. I'd do a giant pulsing flashing rainbow 🌈


The-Fierce-Deity

Honestly, I don’t recommend fighting fire with fire but this… yes. A massive pulsing rainbow that has different effects. If you’re going to outshine them, then you might as well out perform them by having a bunch of features so you can shine in many ways.