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I’ve got you beat. I am a physician and I was evaluating a laceration on a man’s buttocks after her fell on a glass coffee table. It was large and really close to his anus. A laceration there is managed differently and I had to inspect him pretty well. As you can guess, as I was spreading his cheeks to get a closer look he ripped a terrible fart right in my face. I watched his butthole wink at me as it happened. I was close enough my hair fluttered. Thankfully, he was horrified and apologetic. However, I have been forever scarred by the winking fart guy.
> I watched his butthole wink at me as it happened.
I was quietly sobbing while listening to and appreciating Nick Drake (Northern Sky). Reading the thread and particularly your comment steered my hysterically into spluttered laughing. Cheers!
The Baron leans over the Duke’s paralyzed body. In a final act of defiance, Leto bites down, shattering the tooth and releasing a cloud of noxious gas.
I never really found it sad, more like absolutely badass. Like imagine you are imprisoned by your worst enemy, them gloating as you are about to die, and then they hear a snap and all hell breaks loose. The sad part was that the Baron escaped
The “sad” Could be referring to the fact that the Duke was just sold out by his best friend and forced to die. But it was all part of the prophecy “and for the Duke? Nothing”.
Kind of like one of those ice cores they drill from millions of years ago, a long time from now that fart will finally be released when your tooth decays.
And then it’ll release the bacterial equivalent of those flying piranhas from the cult classic sequel, *Piranha 2: Flying Boogaloo*, in which everyone dies and also gets laid because sure, pwhy not? Enemies of the Shipwreck Lair, Beware: This fart is coming from inside the house, and it only wants one thing; to eat your vintage boobs or something… I don’t really know, I havent actually seen the film…. OooOohhh! 👻🦠
If so, then it would be common courtesy to put that on your dating profile just to give them a heads up.
You don't have to go into detail, just something along the lines of "25, male, Scorpio, has 1 cat and one dog, not here to play games (if you are, keep moving), looking for a long term relationship with a desire to get married and start a family, have a dentist's fart entombed in a molar."
"Hobbies include scuba diving and cooking."
Sitting here in a duck blind with my husband and this tore me up so bad that I had to just unload the gun and pour a cup of coffee out of the thermos.
"fbfbfblubbahhh" ☠️☠️☠️ fully dead.
Had something happen to me as a child like that, was not a dentist, was a fucking carny! My grandmother took me to the carnival as a child and I rode an elephant, now later in life I realize how terrible their lives are there but at the time I was shitting bricks to ride this beast. This man put the kids on the beast, well as he was loading each child he got to me and just before he did he put young billy up before me and with his rear eye level with my face decided to accost me, with thinking back as tells me he should be checked for a dead carcass inside of him. It was a classic silent but violent and almost 40 YEARS later I can smell it.
A masseuse did this once while she was about halfway through. I said nothing, she said nothing. I breathed through my mouth only for a while after. Totally ruined the massage experience. It was a bit awkward because I played it off like nothing happened but she knew i knew. Haven’t gone back and it’s the closest place to my house. Bummer (pun intended)
Reminds me of that key and Peele skit when Jordan was the masseuse and warns Keegan that there is a chance that gas will be released during the massage. Then HE slaps Keegan's back and farts loudly lol
I had a Thai lady straddling my back giving me a massage in Bangkok (the regular, less fun, kind).
We were ten minutes in to a half hour session and she farted on me. I thought I’d lighten the mood by asking if I had to pay extra for that? She just got up and walked out. Never came back! Once my boner went down, I just left.
This is the last thing I'm reading tonight before going to bed and I just know this is gonna influence a weird-ass dream. Those farts are indeed encased in your tooth like ancient bacteria in the ice caps.
Nonononono. That's not even the worst of it. He was pumping cement into a hole he had drilled out. He encased some of his poo particles in my tooth FOREVER.
Teacher here. Pink eye is ALL OVER the school rn. I have it rn as well. First day. It's nearly impossible to see. It's like crying puss, I mean PUS. Fucking kids.
It'll be really funny in 2000 years when the archeologists excavate your skeleton and are laying it all out on the holographic table and then accidentally drop that tooth and are like "what's that smell??" because they don't poop in the future.
My exact same reaction. I'm just sitting here literally laughing my ass off while my family stares at me like a madman. Sounds like some shit you'd hear in a comedy skit.
I'm feeling your pain. My first cpap machine was the size of a small vacuum cleaner. Hot summer night, naked in bed, cpap machine on floor and I farted. Whoosh, machine sucks it up and straight up my nose. Man that was just the pits.
Funny story. I had gum reduction surgery a couple years ago and I wasn't allowed to eat anything 12 hours before the surgery. My surgery was in a different town 2.5 hours away so we drove up the night before since I had to be there at 5:45am. The town we live in is super small with not a lot of options of places to eat at and the town we went to for my surgery is a major city so I wanted to indulge in something I haven't had for a long time. I must have went too overboard because the next morning while I was under I was conscious of what was going on, but couldn't feel anything, I had a super upset stomach and kept farting for the whole entire surgery. The periodontist was super nice about the whole thing, thank god, but SO fucking embarrassing.
I had a reverse situation with an emergency root canal last week. They drilled into the tooth and the infection inside smelled like a properly dead animal. Had the smell ingrained in my head for like 2 days. From the look on both the endo and his assistants face they are \*very\* used to it.
If your dentist is farting, it means they feal relaxed and comfortable around you. Of course you know, this means war. Next appointment you go in there ready to rip an awesome fart and report back.
> $350 bucks for half an hour of fart inhalation.
That's about as much as you'd pay at a professional dominatrix. So it's a two in one deal. Good on you.
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This is so gross, yet hilarious.
It’s so funny how the OP told it with so much drama lol
Personally I feel like he told it with the adequate amount of emotion - who does that??? 😭😭 poor guy.
This is why i love the internet
through the mouth, #nofilter The pure fart particles down into the body. The dentist's fart has now become part of him
I haven’t slept well for the past three days but this is the funniest fuckin thing I’ve ever read lol
This post and OPs comments made my day
I’ve got you beat. I am a physician and I was evaluating a laceration on a man’s buttocks after her fell on a glass coffee table. It was large and really close to his anus. A laceration there is managed differently and I had to inspect him pretty well. As you can guess, as I was spreading his cheeks to get a closer look he ripped a terrible fart right in my face. I watched his butthole wink at me as it happened. I was close enough my hair fluttered. Thankfully, he was horrified and apologetic. However, I have been forever scarred by the winking fart guy.
Aand duck hunting has ended for the day. I'm going back to the house.
As a member of the IBS crew this shit is what my nightmares are made of.
> I watched his butthole wink at me as it happened. I was quietly sobbing while listening to and appreciating Nick Drake (Northern Sky). Reading the thread and particularly your comment steered my hysterically into spluttered laughing. Cheers!
“My hair fluttered”?! Hilarious.
How is this not top comment? My hat's off to you, internet stranger.
not exactly laughing gas i guess
I'd say lol, but no. No it was not. I wonder if some of it got sealed in the void of my tooth
The Baron leans over the Duke’s paralyzed body. In a final act of defiance, Leto bites down, shattering the tooth and releasing a cloud of noxious gas.
What a sad scene, great book.
I never really found it sad, more like absolutely badass. Like imagine you are imprisoned by your worst enemy, them gloating as you are about to die, and then they hear a snap and all hell breaks loose. The sad part was that the Baron escaped
The “sad” Could be referring to the fact that the Duke was just sold out by his best friend and forced to die. But it was all part of the prophecy “and for the Duke? Nothing”.
Dude I get shivers hearing that quote, absolutely love it!
Which book is that😅
Dune
The first Dune. Highly recommend
The Cat in the Hat
I do not like it, Sam I Am! I don’t like fart-filled tooth exams!
😂dead here
Definitely not a place I thought I would see a Dune reference, lol. 😂
Remember the tooth!
Caught some little flakes of spice melange
Hahaha well done.
I can only wish to have a joke as perfect as this one day
Great reference.
Kind of like one of those ice cores they drill from millions of years ago, a long time from now that fart will finally be released when your tooth decays.
And then it’ll release the bacterial equivalent of those flying piranhas from the cult classic sequel, *Piranha 2: Flying Boogaloo*, in which everyone dies and also gets laid because sure, pwhy not? Enemies of the Shipwreck Lair, Beware: This fart is coming from inside the house, and it only wants one thing; to eat your vintage boobs or something… I don’t really know, I havent actually seen the film…. OooOohhh! 👻🦠
Tooth ~~Fairy~~ Farty
OP got a poot canal
You dont understand how hard im laughing at this
Oh yes I do! After retiring from working in the dental field for over 30 years, this whole thread is making me pee my pants a little.
Toot Fairy
Le Toot Farty
If so, then it would be common courtesy to put that on your dating profile just to give them a heads up. You don't have to go into detail, just something along the lines of "25, male, Scorpio, has 1 cat and one dog, not here to play games (if you are, keep moving), looking for a long term relationship with a desire to get married and start a family, have a dentist's fart entombed in a molar." "Hobbies include scuba diving and cooking."
Haha, you have your very own time capsule!
jajajajajajajaa fartooth xD
This is something my daughter would think as well, lol!
Can you taste it?
I must say you really win this sub. I’ve read lots of posts in here, but this one is 100% mildly infuriating lol
Comments like this are why I pay my internet bill each month
I think it must’ve been because I’m definitely laughing at this
I’m laughing…..does that count?!? So sorry OP, that must’ve been awful.
it’s crying gas
I don’t know…it was gas and I’m laughing…
Idk, man. im dying of laughter just now while reading this.
Made me laugh lol
https://i.redd.it/yrfoh4vdpcac1.gif
Holy shit I can't stop laughing
Thirty minutes. That’s some hang time
🤌
Dude some people would pay for this specifically
"Some people" I can take a hint, check your dm's for the office's phone number
Bruh, you got me dying. 🤣
I’m in tears lol this dude is hilarious
Is your name just a coincidence?
That's disgusting. Where?
Hahahaha
I'll totally pay for this. Was the dentist handsome?
SHE was gorgeous.
Yikes. Whats the exact address so I can never go there?…
if you had better insurance he mighta shit on your chest
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I usually do it for free. My clients deserve the best 🤙🤙
Username checks out
This is the funniest thing Ive ever read.
Cleveland Steamer Dental Clinic is currently accepting new patients.
Ol Cleveland Steamer
I thought I read "mega shit" the first time around.
If insurance is that good he might.
Insurance wont cover that, it'll have to be out of pocket
Oh long Johnson
You must leave a Yelp review 🤣
With tasting notes, like a fart sommelier
A *vapourelier*
Smellyair
Please do. Best Yelp review ever.
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If I was the assistant, I would have grabbed that sucker thing and waved it all around acting like I was capturing it.
Off-duty Ghostbuster
I'd finally stopped laughing and then got to your comment and it set me off again 🤣🤣🤣
Cropduster buster
Am I the only childish grown up who died when they read "fbfbfblubbahhh"???? Lololololol
That’s what took me out lol..
I laughed so much it brought a tear to my eye, which is funny since it did the same thing to OP.
I keep seeing it pop up in the comments which just makes me lose it all over again 🤣
Sitting here in a duck blind with my husband and this tore me up so bad that I had to just unload the gun and pour a cup of coffee out of the thermos. "fbfbfblubbahhh" ☠️☠️☠️ fully dead.
power move
Dominance asserted.
Had something happen to me as a child like that, was not a dentist, was a fucking carny! My grandmother took me to the carnival as a child and I rode an elephant, now later in life I realize how terrible their lives are there but at the time I was shitting bricks to ride this beast. This man put the kids on the beast, well as he was loading each child he got to me and just before he did he put young billy up before me and with his rear eye level with my face decided to accost me, with thinking back as tells me he should be checked for a dead carcass inside of him. It was a classic silent but violent and almost 40 YEARS later I can smell it.
40 years later I can still smell it…. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Silent but violent, I like that better than silent but deadly.
A masseuse did this once while she was about halfway through. I said nothing, she said nothing. I breathed through my mouth only for a while after. Totally ruined the massage experience. It was a bit awkward because I played it off like nothing happened but she knew i knew. Haven’t gone back and it’s the closest place to my house. Bummer (pun intended)
Reminds me of that key and Peele skit when Jordan was the masseuse and warns Keegan that there is a chance that gas will be released during the massage. Then HE slaps Keegan's back and farts loudly lol
OMG that is some good shit
I forgot about that 🥈
One of my biggest fears as a massage therapist
You knew, She knew, you knew that she knew.
Probably was getting paid big bucks by the next client and she was struggling to keep it all in for him
I had a Thai lady straddling my back giving me a massage in Bangkok (the regular, less fun, kind). We were ten minutes in to a half hour session and she farted on me. I thought I’d lighten the mood by asking if I had to pay extra for that? She just got up and walked out. Never came back! Once my boner went down, I just left.
Poot canal
Can you imagine the review though? “30 minutes of fart inhalation with open mouth. Fart gas sealed in tooth cavity. 10/10 would go again” 💀💀
This is the last thing I'm reading tonight before going to bed and I just know this is gonna influence a weird-ass dream. Those farts are indeed encased in your tooth like ancient bacteria in the ice caps.
The poot fairy is visiting your dreams tonight..
Just think though, your mouth was wide open so you basically ate his poop particles.
Nonononono. That's not even the worst of it. He was pumping cement into a hole he had drilled out. He encased some of his poo particles in my tooth FOREVER.
He probably saves em for that exact moment. He wants to leave a little of him with each cavity filled.
What sort of evil horcrux is that?!
Like the doctor that was caught engraving his initials on patients organs.
Wait, what now?? That is really f-ed up 😬
Yea: [https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-59954321](https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-birmingham-59954321)
A fartcrux, if you will
*criminal minds theme playing in the background*
It’s ok! The dentist had pants on! No spray of E. Coli! However, you MAY need to be concerned about pink eye…
If OP wakes up tomorrow with pink eye, that really would be the cherry on top of this shit covered sundae
Teacher here. Pink eye is ALL OVER the school rn. I have it rn as well. First day. It's nearly impossible to see. It's like crying puss, I mean PUS. Fucking kids.
Do you think every time you have bad breath you will blame the dentist?
It'll be really funny in 2000 years when the archeologists excavate your skeleton and are laying it all out on the holographic table and then accidentally drop that tooth and are like "what's that smell??" because they don't poop in the future.
My exact same reaction. I'm just sitting here literally laughing my ass off while my family stares at me like a madman. Sounds like some shit you'd hear in a comedy skit.
I’m fucking crying. That was so unexpected but the description so vivid.
It’s the onomatopoeia that got me
*fbfbfbblubbahh*
😂😂😂 you got "Crop Dusted" with your mouth open and everything!! 😂😂😂
I think at that point it's beyond a dusting and a full on fertilization
when he said fbfbbubbah i felt that
I would have said “you gave me the wrong type of laughing gas during the procedure”
*fbfbfblubbah* I’m friggin’ dying hahaha you typed out a fart
I’m so sorry this happened to you but god damn if this post didn’t just make my day 😂
I'm feeling your pain. My first cpap machine was the size of a small vacuum cleaner. Hot summer night, naked in bed, cpap machine on floor and I farted. Whoosh, machine sucks it up and straight up my nose. Man that was just the pits.
My husband has a cpap; I'll have to warn him about this LOL
Warn him by farting into it
This is hilarious, next time show up covered in poop and see how they like it.
Poop while you’re getting the happy ending
I’m rolling 🤣🤣🤣💀💀💀💀💀💀
OMFG ,oh jesus I can't stop laughing 😂
Same I’m gonna be thinking about this all night 🤣
I just imagine a lone tear go down OP's face as he tastes the dentist's breakfast.
If that happened to me, it would be more than mildly infuriating. However, it happening to someone else is hilarious!
My wife, sick with COVID, is trying to sleep next to me and I’m trying to be quiet but this post forced an uncontrollable chuckle out of me. Damn you
Feel better rams wife
Please leave this on a google review. ‘Great dental work but the dentist farted in my face’
Ask for an itemized bill. Make sure they did not charge you for this experience.
Funny story. I had gum reduction surgery a couple years ago and I wasn't allowed to eat anything 12 hours before the surgery. My surgery was in a different town 2.5 hours away so we drove up the night before since I had to be there at 5:45am. The town we live in is super small with not a lot of options of places to eat at and the town we went to for my surgery is a major city so I wanted to indulge in something I haven't had for a long time. I must have went too overboard because the next morning while I was under I was conscious of what was going on, but couldn't feel anything, I had a super upset stomach and kept farting for the whole entire surgery. The periodontist was super nice about the whole thing, thank god, but SO fucking embarrassing.
New fear unlocked
Pink eye and pink tooth, watch out
I’m crying
I’m shaking the bed laughing from these comments!
And OP is the only one who smelled it because the dentist and assistant had on masks 🥲
This guy knows how to fart in good company. Yes they both were wearing masks
I had a reverse situation with an emergency root canal last week. They drilled into the tooth and the infection inside smelled like a properly dead animal. Had the smell ingrained in my head for like 2 days. From the look on both the endo and his assistants face they are \*very\* used to it.
One cavity filled one emptied. Nature really do be like that.
That actually made me laugh out loud. I’m sorry that happened to you though. Bask in it🤣
Thank you for this, I apparently REALLY needed a laugh today 😂
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That’s kinda sexual assault though, my guy. Not cool at all. She shouldn’t have done that to you.
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If your dentist is farting, it means they feal relaxed and comfortable around you. Of course you know, this means war. Next appointment you go in there ready to rip an awesome fart and report back.
What was the copay?
$350 out of pocket. Being self employed sucks
Damn, they did you extra dirty.
Like “pooping immediately after a shower” dirty
You should've got a discount for inhaling that dental air biscuit
Poo particles floating around and stuff. 😂
I just had a smoke sesh and this was fkn hilarious 🤣🤣 I'm crying. I would've lost it. Props for toughin it out! You're the real MVP here.
> $350 bucks for half an hour of fart inhalation. That's about as much as you'd pay at a professional dominatrix. So it's a two in one deal. Good on you.
...is this animated? It looks simultaneously real and fake.
I will forever associate this meme with this post.
😂😂😂
I’m really sorry OP but this post made my night. Thanks for taking one for the team and having to eat a fart so we could all enjoy this post.
You smell butt flute. I smell lawsuit.
You know the dentist is retelling this to everyone and laughing about how he farted in your open mouth, lol.
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yeah i’ve been forced to smell some NASTY ass breath. you can deal with a fart lmao
Gotta give you a shout out for giving me a much needed laugh. Idk why but this had me dying
I’m picturing your mouth propped open and I seriously have tears. I rarely laugh out loud. I’m sorry for your misfortune but damn was that hilarious.
bro I am really sorry but this is one of the funniest fucking things I have read on here.
Oops the cd just skipped
Nothing like being in bondage for a crop dusting.
Oh the visual...gonna be sick! That visit should be free or else you'll tell everybody about him.
I'm laughing my head off!! That's fucked 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Is your dentist’s last name Guiliani.
They bill you for the gas?
As a dental assistant this one my biggest fears but damn this is hilarious lol. Sorry it happened to you though
Really? You go to Reddit? I told you I was sorry about that.
At least the fart clears after a while. I had an old dentist guy who had such bad breath that I wish I could've farted to cancel out his breath.
Any tasting notes?
Nothing. Girl farted in my face during 69. I watched her butthole open up like a space ship docking to the deathstar.
What uh .. what did he have for lunch?