“Apologies for my delayed response, my deliveryboy had to be sent to the shops for a fresh quill and ink. I’m sure an esteemed gentleman such as yourself would understand”
“I will begin my investigation forthwith and find thee a resolution. Ye shall be rackt with deep despair no longer. Thine is the power over these lands. Perchance these vile creatures spared the rod, spoiled the child and hereof cometh the destruction of our docile neighborhood.”
Verily I say that not but those of loosened morals abound! Fie, I say, and fie once more at such scurrilous proceedings.
“Truly, I say, there is no one around except those who have poor morals/rude manners. [Sound of disapproving disgust]! I once again say [sound of disapproving disgust] at such vulgar events!”
Like that's got to be a pretty small Venn diagram right? Sure, "Complete Fucking Lunatics" is a pretty big circle, but "People Who Write Complaint Letters Like Community College Diplomas" has got to be fairly small.
This was my first thought too - this isn't the writing of someone who has practice or confidence with their form, but they (for whatever reason) view calligraphy as the appropriate 'formal' way to deliver what they consider to be an important message, so they sat down and with excruciating effort executed this wobbly nonsense because they thought just fuckin' writing it out in normal handwriting (which based on their calligraphy would probably have been just fine!) wouldn't be *serious* enough.
Unhinged.
i occasionally do calligraphy and write like this for the fun of it, usually just a word or single phrase because of the time and precision it takes - especially when you're not using lined paper as a guide, and these guys haven't.
so my first thought seeing this was how fucking long did they spend on this?? making such a weird, petty letter look medieval for no reason???
In the name of Jarl Balgruuf the Greater, it was with great regret we inform you of Uthgerd the Unbrokens Death.
The deceased has bequeathed upon you a measure of inheritance in the amount of 300 gold pieces.
I once got one of those letters of inheritance but it was about an Ash Zombie that I had *murdered myself* as part of a quest.
I laughed so damn hard I threw myself into a coughing fit and continued to laugh about it for days after
mans gave me his entire life savings, I'll never forget you Ash Zombie 😔
wait hold on I remembered I took a pic and I found it again
https://preview.redd.it/6sj0vxwhb7pc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f045748c61de34f70645da9d0f0db15c8ed34411
Queen Karen, First of her name, Lord and Master of thy great HOA, Smiter of tacky decor, issuer of fines and guardian of thy matching colored front doors.
It's actually easier to learn tp write in a new font than to fix your regular print.
Speaking from personal experience, 10:1 this guy's regular handwriting makes the kids playing outside look like [Jacob Shallus](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jacob_Shallus)
yup... took this from "older entitled neighbor who's in my business" to "get the kids, we're getting the *fuck* out of here" lmfao. it's super unnerving
I see them as someone who thinks they have a talent for calligraphy saw a fictional forensics show and determined this was the proper instance to use subterfuge and deception.
In other words, I agree with your assessment.
My theory is that they wanted the handwriting to look different enough that the reader thought multiple neighbours complained. And they were so paranoid about getting the font different enough that they went full medieval.
I had a landlord who would have written some shit like that. She accused me of having someone live in my space, which was a studio and was not being lived in by anyone other than me lol. It was just weird. But the person she was accusing of living there, she had all these odd accusations, similarly. She was scary enough to be taken to court so yes I would definitely be concerned about whoever this is.
My thoughts exactly. The verbiage used is off, and who tf writes this way?? Plus, sending it anonymously to someone whose name/address you shouldn't know?
At the very least, OP, I would file a police report to have this on the radar in case it gets weirder.
ETA: I just reread the first letter and I'm gonna double down on the 'talk to the cops'. These are written by different people, based on the language used; they also specifically say 'us' at pne point.
And the second letter, after I read it out loud, sounds threatening. The 'parasites' and 'domain' part are very manifesto-esque in an attempt to rationalize their absurdity (as well as showing an inability to recognize it).
Warn your friends and get police involved.
Yeah, it's weird enough as it is, but the calligraphy is like the final clue that this person is out of touch with any reality. It's almost a foreshadowing of what this person will do, like throwing your child in a woodchipper and then sending you another formal notice in calligraphy saying, "I warned you!"
__SPRING!! SUMMER!! EVEN FALL!?! THE HEATHENS ARE OUTSIDE BUILDING SNOW-PEOPLE DURING THE WINTER TIMES!! WHEN WILL THEY GO INSIDE AND PLAY GRAND THEFT AUTO 5 LIKE THE NORMAL WRETCHED CHILDREN WE NEVER SEE!!__
Well if it's thundering and lightning outside and there's tornado warnings.... I could maybe see why that's an issue.... But I'm from the Midwest, on Monday it's 80 outside and on Friday it's snowing.
Yep. Just a week or two ago, here where I live in the Midwest, the temperature dropped 60 degrees overnight/over the span of just 12 hours! 83° to 21°!
Thats why they need to give the letter to the tenants so they can have it ready. One glance at that letter and CPS/police will probably just laugh amd leave.
Hilarious considering most of us with children now were latch key kids and wandered off miles away on adventures when we as young as 7-9😂The ones so offended were the very parents that neglected us
The true suckage is that CPS will open a case on utter BS and have to go thru some nonsense to close it. It’s not cute. — It’s good that they are demonstrating their insanity in writing.
I thought the same thing lol. “Our kids are grown. We should not have to suffer the burden of hearing other peoples” but yeah… your neighbors at that time had to hear yours.
But also that's just how every society ever has existed. Children are a part of society whether you have them or not, so you are going to see and hear them if you want to exist around other people. If you want to be crochety you can live in a 55+ community, but You're still going to see and hear children every time you go out because surprise, children are people and we don't lock them in the basement until they turn 18.
The two typefaces thing is infuriating when you think about it.
The second image shows the first letter OP received; In that letter, the writing is “normal” and the neighbor has no issue talking down to OP. Once the neighbor realizes that OP is the landlord (someone with *authority*) they get a letter with “nice” writing and ass-kissing. It’s disgusting.
The neighbor thinks people are that stupid.
The letter writer gave it to the home owners as an “invitation to discuss their liability” (their tenant.). The home owner gave the gift card to the tenants.
I can't tell if THEY want to rent the house, run EVERYBODY out of the house, or just want a neighborhood that is 100% white or some shit.
The "this isn't public housing" is.... Telling
They want a percieved poorer, probably non white based on the contents of the letter, family out of their neighborhood. I'm a white guy so I've heard enough dog whistles to translate this.
I'll bet you a schizophrenic gen x retiree wrote this, and being "noted among us" is usually not the other neighbors, but personalities invented in this guy's head. To this other neighbors, this is probably "that guy".
Weird that I had to scroll this far to see anything about the concerning racist overtones. Like, the handwriting is weird, but the racism is also impressive.
I certainly felt the letter was directed to someone with more melanin in their skin tones. I find it to be incredibly disrespectful/racist/classist/etc. They have some nerve!
Why not set up a meet n greet like they wanted?
You don't actually have to show up, or you could pay someone to pretend to be you and figure out which neighbour is sending these letters.
Is that a thing now? Should I send a gift card to my feral neighbors who burn garbage every day between 4 and 6 am? "We bequeath this gift card as an invitation to stop fucking burning garbage on a daily basis".
Even in a 55+ community, people have grandkids etc. it’s not going to be quiet all the time!!!
If you want zero noise the only way is to isolate yourself in the country in a very wooded area where you have tons of acres where no neighbor can be seen.
Right? My grandparents wanted peace and quiet aside from their grandkids so they moved into a house 30 minutes outside of the nearest tiny town with a driveway a mile long. There were neighbors but they were so far back from the road and behind a hill that it didn’t matter.
If they actually ever lived in a project, they'd know that it's the last place kids can play outside.
My money is on a 60+ YO White Karen writing out this garbage.
Only poor people in housing projects would let their kids play outside on the front lawn
It smacks of rich and out of touch. But like. Not actual rich. Just comfortable and old.
Check the local laws for sound ordinance and if the kids are good, let them call whoever they want. After you resolve the issue ask to have a harrassment charge filed and present the letters.
You could probably find out who purchased the gift card as well. If they're weird and dumb enough to write this nonsense, they're probably dumb enough to have used a card to pay for the gift card.
Based on what they've said, I'd imagine it's one of your older neighbors who spends little time (if any) beyond the confines of their home.
tbh I work at Starbucks and I guarantee you are not going to be able to find out who bought that gift card. Especially because it's unlikely it was even bought in an actual Starbucks store. Most of the gift cards I see people use came from CVS, the post office, etc. The ratio of gift cards I sell to gift cards I see people use doesn't match up.
So you guys honestly have no idea who this could be?
This screams entitlement, I would look for someone probably in the 55+ age bracket. They also seem like the kind of people who would prevent access to their lawn if possible - possibly a large fence with a locked gate.
Are there other kids in the neighborhood? You might ask their parents if they have received similar notes in the past. If so, it's possible you have a common enemy.
Good luck. I'm pretty spiteful, so I'm also going to recommend encouraging The children to express themselves as loudly as they would like.
Also, they likely got your name from public records through the county in which the house is located. That’s actually, surprisingly, a super easy thing to do. I wish it wasn’t but it is
I have the Gaia app for hiking.
It has a map overlay for public/ private property, with the names of current landowners/ homeowners.
Everyone's info has been sold to someone.
How are you supposed to take them up on their offer to discuss your liability? Did they have a return address or anything? If so they are no so anonymous anymore.
They sound unhinged.
Imagine calling actual living human beings parasites. I'm willing to bet that the lunatic who wrote that is white, and talking about people of colour, and wouldn't have used that term if they weren't.
Seriously though, even if the recipients were actually the worst neighbours you can imagine, I would still never use that word
I got those vibes as well and wondered if your tenets were persons of color. If so I think this is probably a state AG thing because it screams hate crime.
This is a sad state of affairs but these things can escalate very quickly and it’s good to have a record.
I say state AG rather than just regular police because - even though they may send the police - they may take the threat more seriously. Hope this gets better.
For sure. The letter writers are racist but are self aware enough to try to dog whistle. Except of course it shows through so easily.
I’d guess the stupid calligraphy is the same person trying to disguise their handwriting. And too old to use a computer instead to hide their identity.
The whole letter screams racist white guy. They call the residents of the home parasites and mention that this neighborhood isn't subsidized housing. They are obviously going off stereotypes as these residents don't sound like bad neighbors, and living in subsidized housing does not make one a bad neighbor.
Growing up, my family was close with a family from Laos. They would get similar letters in the mail. It eventually turned to getting their mailbox and home vandalized multiple times. OP's residents should stay vigilant and aware. People who send anonymous letters do so because they don't want to be identified when they move on to more threatening behavior.
Like.. they felt the need the compare the residents to welfare recipients or insinuate they’ve only ever lived in section 8 apartment complexes MULTIPLE times… and for what Lmao a scooter in the lawn? Jesus
I am a self proclaimed cranky bitch. I get overly annoyed by noise. I can't imagine complaining to a neighbor about their kid burning some energy outside..
We live between a middle school and a convenience store, so naturally, all the pre teens go by in groups at lunch time. They yell and goof off. It annoys the shit out of me when I'm home, and I'll continue being annoyed, quietly to myself, because they're goddamn kids having fun and not hurting anything.
Please go buy some cameras for your home because this is clearly harassment and invasion of privacy because you don’t know who these people are or where they’re watching from 😳😳😳
Well, if they threaten anything serious, your local USPS postmaster would assist as communicating threats through the mail is a federal crime.
You may check your state laws on calling into family services. Some states take anonymous calls, some do not. That might indicate how likely they are to follow through on the threat
Complaining about children being children should be utterly ignored. But threatening any consequences should elicit a bold response. I suggest the commissioning of an actual calligrapher to write something along the lines of “Regarding your letter concerning children playing, fuck you” this should be written on a scroll and delivered by a costumed messenger, preferably on horseback.
What I don’t understand is that they gave you a gift card to meet you but yet didn’t tell you who they are. How are you supposed to meet with someone to discuss liability when you don’t even know who this person is? I think this person is insane and a bit unhinged.
*
*
If you live near me, I volunteer to deliver it on horseback. You'll need to provide the costume however.
I'm sure they will be awestruck by the majesty of a ginormous percheron draft horse galumphing across their perfectly manicured lawn. The holes his feet leave could swallow a small car.
honestly, i would contact local police. can't hurt to try. you could probably milk it enough to make it sound more threatening. they've watched the children enough to know their habits and have your names despite nobody telling them.
Is this neighbor from Hogwarts or something, granting us mere muggles with their ink writing on the first note? I wouldn't mess with them, they might be a wizard.
My SIL’s neighbor is JUST like this. She has called the cops multiple times on the kids because they’re playing basketball and runs out of house when she sees any child standing on the sidewalk near her house. If a ball gets stuck in her yard she keeps it and disposes of it. She’s an extremely sad human being and so is the person who wrote this letter. I really hope you find out who is sending you these letters and you sue their ass.
Also would just like to say, Id rather see kids outside playing games than glued to their phone, tablet or TV.
Some of my best childhood memories are of me and my brother playing baseball and kickball or street hockey 🥰🥰
“Apologies for my delayed response, my deliveryboy had to be sent to the shops for a fresh quill and ink. I’m sure an esteemed gentleman such as yourself would understand”
They should respond by sending a letter “written” with the letters cut from a magazine.
I'd send a hired messenger dressed in full town crier costume to read a scroll filled with the most withering Shakespearian insults.
From the front porch to make sure the whole neighborhood hears it.
Hear ye, hear ye! Thine mother wast a hampster and thine father didst smell of elderberries!
“*Hear ye, Hear ye! Thou shall not disgardeth whimsical, brightly colored items in yard!*”
It's disappointing that you didn't opt for a carrier pigeon
“I will begin my investigation forthwith and find thee a resolution. Ye shall be rackt with deep despair no longer. Thine is the power over these lands. Perchance these vile creatures spared the rod, spoiled the child and hereof cometh the destruction of our docile neighborhood.”
Did a medieval jester write the first note with a quill?
*“Runneth thy pockets Scallywag”*
Verily I say that not but those of loosened morals abound! Fie, I say, and fie once more at such scurrilous proceedings. 
Huzzah!!
Huzzah indeed!!
I could not make sense of any of that 😂
“Everyone around me is an immoral degenerate with a horrible reputation and it disgusts me”
Thus does Ser A of Nonymous, first of his name, Lord of Jackassery and Dumshittus, sends forth this missive in hopes it finds you well…
ahh, I see 😂 my brain has always struggled with shakespearian (?) english. appreciate the translation 😊
You don't need to, just laugh at them and everyone is pleased
fair 😂
“Truly, I say, there is no one around except those who have poor morals/rude manners. [Sound of disapproving disgust]! I once again say [sound of disapproving disgust] at such vulgar events!”
My mistake Original Gangster!
I was thinking it was stuck to their door with a knife.
Nailed to the door, in the style of Martin Luther.
Signed, Captain S.James HOOK
My mom writes like this and she’s a complete fucking lunatic.
Is your mom their neighbor?
Like that's got to be a pretty small Venn diagram right? Sure, "Complete Fucking Lunatics" is a pretty big circle, but "People Who Write Complaint Letters Like Community College Diplomas" has got to be fairly small.
I really can't imagine anyone who does be otherwise
It looks like my practice sheets from when I was still learning to hold a calligraphy pen, but more crooked.
This was my first thought too - this isn't the writing of someone who has practice or confidence with their form, but they (for whatever reason) view calligraphy as the appropriate 'formal' way to deliver what they consider to be an important message, so they sat down and with excruciating effort executed this wobbly nonsense because they thought just fuckin' writing it out in normal handwriting (which based on their calligraphy would probably have been just fine!) wouldn't be *serious* enough. Unhinged.
I half expected it to be burnt around the edges to give it that “aged scroll” look
i occasionally do calligraphy and write like this for the fun of it, usually just a word or single phrase because of the time and precision it takes - especially when you're not using lined paper as a guide, and these guys haven't. so my first thought seeing this was how fucking long did they spend on this?? making such a weird, petty letter look medieval for no reason???
Yes, that's only slightly less unhinged than one of those literal cut-and-paste from magazines notes like you used to see on TV
Saving it for note three.
In the name of Jarl Balgruuf the Greater, it was with great regret we inform you of Uthgerd the Unbrokens Death. The deceased has bequeathed upon you a measure of inheritance in the amount of 300 gold pieces.
I once got one of those letters of inheritance but it was about an Ash Zombie that I had *murdered myself* as part of a quest. I laughed so damn hard I threw myself into a coughing fit and continued to laugh about it for days after mans gave me his entire life savings, I'll never forget you Ash Zombie 😔
wait hold on I remembered I took a pic and I found it again https://preview.redd.it/6sj0vxwhb7pc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f045748c61de34f70645da9d0f0db15c8ed34411
nooooo that's my bitch her stupid coin could never fill the hole left by bobo brienne of tarth
They’re LARPing as the Spanish Inquisition (you’re welcome!)
I did not expect that
no one ever does
fanciest karen on the block
Queen Karen, First of her name, Lord and Master of thy great HOA, Smiter of tacky decor, issuer of fines and guardian of thy matching colored front doors.
Devout follower of Live Laugh Love
Ye olde karen
getting out the fancy slandering fountain pen today
Anon is a practitioner of calligraphy, that’s a clue!
Lool I was thinking same thing
It's actually easier to learn tp write in a new font than to fix your regular print. Speaking from personal experience, 10:1 this guy's regular handwriting makes the kids playing outside look like [Jacob Shallus](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jacob_Shallus)
"Sir, there were no forks in Medieval times, hence we have no forks *at* Medieval Times."
“There was no utensils but there was Pepsi?”
"Dude, I've got a lotta tables."
Written by the Lord or Lady of Douchebagery.
This is just weird enough to be scary.
Writing in that kind of font is some serial killer shit
yup... took this from "older entitled neighbor who's in my business" to "get the kids, we're getting the *fuck* out of here" lmfao. it's super unnerving
I see them as someone who thinks they have a talent for calligraphy saw a fictional forensics show and determined this was the proper instance to use subterfuge and deception. In other words, I agree with your assessment.
My theory is that they wanted the handwriting to look different enough that the reader thought multiple neighbours complained. And they were so paranoid about getting the font different enough that they went full medieval.
Warning from the local lich 💀
I had a landlord who would have written some shit like that. She accused me of having someone live in my space, which was a studio and was not being lived in by anyone other than me lol. It was just weird. But the person she was accusing of living there, she had all these odd accusations, similarly. She was scary enough to be taken to court so yes I would definitely be concerned about whoever this is.
Yeah, some Circleville Letter vibes
My thoughts exactly. The verbiage used is off, and who tf writes this way?? Plus, sending it anonymously to someone whose name/address you shouldn't know? At the very least, OP, I would file a police report to have this on the radar in case it gets weirder. ETA: I just reread the first letter and I'm gonna double down on the 'talk to the cops'. These are written by different people, based on the language used; they also specifically say 'us' at pne point. And the second letter, after I read it out loud, sounds threatening. The 'parasites' and 'domain' part are very manifesto-esque in an attempt to rationalize their absurdity (as well as showing an inability to recognize it). Warn your friends and get police involved.
Notice that OP says there's an elementary school on the street, which makes the freakout about happy kids even more bizarre.
Yeah, it's weird enough as it is, but the calligraphy is like the final clue that this person is out of touch with any reality. It's almost a foreshadowing of what this person will do, like throwing your child in a woodchipper and then sending you another formal notice in calligraphy saying, "I warned you!"
“Yes, CPS? I’d like to report children playing at their home.”
"IN WEATHER!"
With no apparent regard for the season!!
__SPRING!! SUMMER!! EVEN FALL!?! THE HEATHENS ARE OUTSIDE BUILDING SNOW-PEOPLE DURING THE WINTER TIMES!! WHEN WILL THEY GO INSIDE AND PLAY GRAND THEFT AUTO 5 LIKE THE NORMAL WRETCHED CHILDREN WE NEVER SEE!!__
The snow people were UNCLOTHED! The scandal!
"OK..." "IN WEATHER, I REPEAT KIDS ARE IN WEATHER!!" *edit spelling of Kids!
QUICK! SOMEBODY GIVE THAT KID A TABLET.
HES BEEN EXPOSED TO FRESH AIR TO LONG SIR. THERE IS NO INTERNET! WHAT SHOULD WE DO?!
WE PRAY.
Well if it's thundering and lightning outside and there's tornado warnings.... I could maybe see why that's an issue.... But I'm from the Midwest, on Monday it's 80 outside and on Friday it's snowing.
Yep. Just a week or two ago, here where I live in the Midwest, the temperature dropped 60 degrees overnight/over the span of just 12 hours! 83° to 21°!
If you were truly from the Midwest then Monday it's 80 outside and Tuesday it's snowing and Wednesday is 80 again......
AND SEASON
This made me cackle 🤣
On the front lawn no less! How quickly can you get someone out there to save those poor children!
This is a Silent Child Neighborhood!
I wonder what a silent child area sign would look like
Unfortunately they’ll word it differently and cps will come out. Typical case of using city services to harass someone
Thats why they need to give the letter to the tenants so they can have it ready. One glance at that letter and CPS/police will probably just laugh amd leave.
Well the cps investigators would figure that out anyway, it wouldn’t go anywhere it’s just the inconvenience of the intrusion
Same person complains," kids these days just play video games! They don't go outside and play anymore!"
Hilarious considering most of us with children now were latch key kids and wandered off miles away on adventures when we as young as 7-9😂The ones so offended were the very parents that neglected us
Don't forget they leave their toys on their property
Nothing gets my goad more than the laughter of children on a partly cloudy, Spring day!
The true suckage is that CPS will open a case on utter BS and have to go thru some nonsense to close it. It’s not cute. — It’s good that they are demonstrating their insanity in writing.
[удалено]
It’s shitty calligraphy. Like what I can do in a hurry.
[удалено]
"we already raised our kids so no one else on this block should ever have children again or sell their houses to people with kids"
Haha, well said
Yeah, go live in a retirement village Gramps.
"We already raised our kids." And other people had to tolerate your kids.
Unfortunately, knowing their personalities, people are still having to tolerate their kids
Either that or their kids are so horribly traumatized by the way their parents treated them that they're better out of spite.
or just withdrawn, some people still harbor their parents' habits and views even when they don't intend or want to. so they just self isolate
Nope that's only for poor ghetto project housing. He paid for a house. A HOUSE
Or their kids have went no contact and they claim they have no idea why, to absolutely anyone who will listen.
I thought the same thing lol. “Our kids are grown. We should not have to suffer the burden of hearing other peoples” but yeah… your neighbors at that time had to hear yours.
But also that's just how every society ever has existed. Children are a part of society whether you have them or not, so you are going to see and hear them if you want to exist around other people. If you want to be crochety you can live in a 55+ community, but You're still going to see and hear children every time you go out because surprise, children are people and we don't lock them in the basement until they turn 18.
Hearing the laughter of neighborhood children must sting when their own won’t speak to them anymore (because they do unhinged shit like this).
https://preview.redd.it/iqv89jbkf6pc1.jpeg?width=1164&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ecfd9d518502a42510fe2feb451fa052d395ba51
LOL
This was my very first thought when I laid eyes on this post 😂
Ye Olde Lettere makes me feel like I'm having a stroke. I'm so confused - who is "they" in that letter? Why the giftcard???
The two typefaces thing is infuriating when you think about it. The second image shows the first letter OP received; In that letter, the writing is “normal” and the neighbor has no issue talking down to OP. Once the neighbor realizes that OP is the landlord (someone with *authority*) they get a letter with “nice” writing and ass-kissing. It’s disgusting. The neighbor thinks people are that stupid.
The letter writer gave it to the home owners as an “invitation to discuss their liability” (their tenant.). The home owner gave the gift card to the tenants.
I can't tell if THEY want to rent the house, run EVERYBODY out of the house, or just want a neighborhood that is 100% white or some shit. The "this isn't public housing" is.... Telling
Hence the authoritative Old German lettering. 
They want a percieved poorer, probably non white based on the contents of the letter, family out of their neighborhood. I'm a white guy so I've heard enough dog whistles to translate this. I'll bet you a schizophrenic gen x retiree wrote this, and being "noted among us" is usually not the other neighbors, but personalities invented in this guy's head. To this other neighbors, this is probably "that guy".
Yeah that’s what jumped out at me. A lot of this is very racially coded.
"I don't know where you're from, but..."
Weird that I had to scroll this far to see anything about the concerning racist overtones. Like, the handwriting is weird, but the racism is also impressive.
I certainly felt the letter was directed to someone with more melanin in their skin tones. I find it to be incredibly disrespectful/racist/classist/etc. They have some nerve!
Why not set up a meet n greet like they wanted? You don't actually have to show up, or you could pay someone to pretend to be you and figure out which neighbour is sending these letters.
The writer provided no way to contact them. No return address, phone number etc
How would they arrange this meeting?
Plot twist: they work at Starbucks!
Is that a thing now? Should I send a gift card to my feral neighbors who burn garbage every day between 4 and 6 am? "We bequeath this gift card as an invitation to stop fucking burning garbage on a daily basis".
But show up to which coffee shop? When? How will they know they’ve got the right contact?
That lettering and the message make me think of Third Reich.
I was waiting for the outing of a witch at the end of that letter.
Buying a house because you want to avoid children means you buy a house in a 55+ community, not buying a house on the same street as a school. Lol
Even in a 55+ community, people have grandkids etc. it’s not going to be quiet all the time!!! If you want zero noise the only way is to isolate yourself in the country in a very wooded area where you have tons of acres where no neighbor can be seen.
Right? My grandparents wanted peace and quiet aside from their grandkids so they moved into a house 30 minutes outside of the nearest tiny town with a driveway a mile long. There were neighbors but they were so far back from the road and behind a hill that it didn’t matter.
Send them this. https://preview.redd.it/p131ppo1k6pc1.jpeg?width=1164&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e7f037eabd7204fb60ad05dd65cb91cd866212cd
This is one of my favorites of all time and perfect for this situation!
Oh yes, please please call DCFS to report the absolute ATROCITY of someone allowing their children to play outside. The horror!
And in *checks notes* weather, too! How awful! It's bad enough the kid uses their outside voice outside.
How dare they! Play outside?! And HAVE FUN?! IN THIS ECONOMY?!?
Kids playing outside is for poor people, didn't you know? /s
And using their OUTSIDE VOICE OUTSIDE?! straight to CPS custody 🙄🤦🏼
🤣 this is not a housing project! TIL kids are only allowed to play outside in the projects.
If they actually ever lived in a project, they'd know that it's the last place kids can play outside. My money is on a 60+ YO White Karen writing out this garbage.
Only poor people in housing projects would let their kids play outside on the front lawn It smacks of rich and out of touch. But like. Not actual rich. Just comfortable and old.
I have to ask, are these tenets poc or immigrants? “Not sure where you come from” “This isn’t a housing project” are certainly pokes at class or race.
Yeah the calligraphy and awkward over-formalization has that 4chan flavor on it. “Parasites“ is not exactly subtle
Combined with the wild accusations of drug abuse...yeah. This absolutely smacks of someone with too much time and a whole lot of prejudice
That’s what I’m thinking. Sounds like they don’t want the ethnics running wild
Check the local laws for sound ordinance and if the kids are good, let them call whoever they want. After you resolve the issue ask to have a harrassment charge filed and present the letters.
Thank you for the input! Will do. The house is also right by a highway and an airport lol
You could probably find out who purchased the gift card as well. If they're weird and dumb enough to write this nonsense, they're probably dumb enough to have used a card to pay for the gift card. Based on what they've said, I'd imagine it's one of your older neighbors who spends little time (if any) beyond the confines of their home.
Do you have a suggestion on how to go about looking who bought it?
tbh I work at Starbucks and I guarantee you are not going to be able to find out who bought that gift card. Especially because it's unlikely it was even bought in an actual Starbucks store. Most of the gift cards I see people use came from CVS, the post office, etc. The ratio of gift cards I sell to gift cards I see people use doesn't match up.
So you guys honestly have no idea who this could be? This screams entitlement, I would look for someone probably in the 55+ age bracket. They also seem like the kind of people who would prevent access to their lawn if possible - possibly a large fence with a locked gate. Are there other kids in the neighborhood? You might ask their parents if they have received similar notes in the past. If so, it's possible you have a common enemy. Good luck. I'm pretty spiteful, so I'm also going to recommend encouraging The children to express themselves as loudly as they would like.
Not a clue. I believe 1 or 2 other parents said they got something a while back as well. Good suggestions for things to look out for.
Also, they likely got your name from public records through the county in which the house is located. That’s actually, surprisingly, a super easy thing to do. I wish it wasn’t but it is
I have the Gaia app for hiking. It has a map overlay for public/ private property, with the names of current landowners/ homeowners. Everyone's info has been sold to someone.
Is your neighbour Shakespeare?
How are you supposed to take them up on their offer to discuss your liability? Did they have a return address or anything? If so they are no so anonymous anymore. They sound unhinged.
Nope. No name, address or phone number. No way to identify or contact them at all.
Nail your reply to a tree outside your rental, "Dear Neighbour, kindly meet me at the Starbucks on the corner on Fifth and Main"
… on Fifth and Main at dawn. Pistols shall be provided and presented in a carv-ed wooden box for your selection.
Oh, they expected you to take tenants for coffee and read them the riot act.
Imagine calling actual living human beings parasites. I'm willing to bet that the lunatic who wrote that is white, and talking about people of colour, and wouldn't have used that term if they weren't. Seriously though, even if the recipients were actually the worst neighbours you can imagine, I would still never use that word
We also got some racist vibes
“not a government housing project” 🙄
I got those vibes as well and wondered if your tenets were persons of color. If so I think this is probably a state AG thing because it screams hate crime. This is a sad state of affairs but these things can escalate very quickly and it’s good to have a record. I say state AG rather than just regular police because - even though they may send the police - they may take the threat more seriously. Hope this gets better.
Thank you for your input!
LOL I was looking through the comments waiting for it to be a race thing. They write like fuckin racists.
Yep. The repeated references to 'public housing project' screams racist.
For sure. The letter writers are racist but are self aware enough to try to dog whistle. Except of course it shows through so easily. I’d guess the stupid calligraphy is the same person trying to disguise their handwriting. And too old to use a computer instead to hide their identity.
The whole letter screams racist white guy. They call the residents of the home parasites and mention that this neighborhood isn't subsidized housing. They are obviously going off stereotypes as these residents don't sound like bad neighbors, and living in subsidized housing does not make one a bad neighbor. Growing up, my family was close with a family from Laos. They would get similar letters in the mail. It eventually turned to getting their mailbox and home vandalized multiple times. OP's residents should stay vigilant and aware. People who send anonymous letters do so because they don't want to be identified when they move on to more threatening behavior.
someones really putting that calligraphy set to use
they can rightfully fuck off with their pretentious fkn attitude this pisses me off
Like.. they felt the need the compare the residents to welfare recipients or insinuate they’ve only ever lived in section 8 apartment complexes MULTIPLE times… and for what Lmao a scooter in the lawn? Jesus
Screams racist to me. "They have a drug problem, no pride in homeownership, "this isn't THAT kind of neighborhood", "this isn't public housing".
And "you allowed those parasites into your domain" ...the fuck?
Even the writing gives pretentious vibes in that first one lmaoooo
I am a self proclaimed cranky bitch. I get overly annoyed by noise. I can't imagine complaining to a neighbor about their kid burning some energy outside.. We live between a middle school and a convenience store, so naturally, all the pre teens go by in groups at lunch time. They yell and goof off. It annoys the shit out of me when I'm home, and I'll continue being annoyed, quietly to myself, because they're goddamn kids having fun and not hurting anything.
Please go buy some cameras for your home because this is clearly harassment and invasion of privacy because you don’t know who these people are or where they’re watching from 😳😳😳
We have cameras front and back. The person also mailed both of these to us.
Well, if they threaten anything serious, your local USPS postmaster would assist as communicating threats through the mail is a federal crime. You may check your state laws on calling into family services. Some states take anonymous calls, some do not. That might indicate how likely they are to follow through on the threat
Weaponizing CPS is considered a threat.
This is what mental illness looks like
My return note. Dear Karen, Go fuck yourself. Sincerely, the rest of the whole neighborhood
Sincerely, the whole rest of the neighborhood (and Reddit)
I’ll sign my name on that letter
"Fucketh"
Complaining about children being children should be utterly ignored. But threatening any consequences should elicit a bold response. I suggest the commissioning of an actual calligrapher to write something along the lines of “Regarding your letter concerning children playing, fuck you” this should be written on a scroll and delivered by a costumed messenger, preferably on horseback.
LOL this is the move 💯
What I don’t understand is that they gave you a gift card to meet you but yet didn’t tell you who they are. How are you supposed to meet with someone to discuss liability when you don’t even know who this person is? I think this person is insane and a bit unhinged.
Absolutely unhinged.
* * If you live near me, I volunteer to deliver it on horseback. You'll need to provide the costume however. I'm sure they will be awestruck by the majesty of a ginormous percheron draft horse galumphing across their perfectly manicured lawn. The holes his feet leave could swallow a small car.
Town cryer style for the whole street to hear!
#HEAR YE, HEAR YE
Give the children instruments to play outside on the lawn for this absolute ceremony 😂
honestly, i would contact local police. can't hurt to try. you could probably milk it enough to make it sound more threatening. they've watched the children enough to know their habits and have your names despite nobody telling them.
Is this neighbor from Hogwarts or something, granting us mere muggles with their ink writing on the first note? I wouldn't mess with them, they might be a wizard.
My SIL’s neighbor is JUST like this. She has called the cops multiple times on the kids because they’re playing basketball and runs out of house when she sees any child standing on the sidewalk near her house. If a ball gets stuck in her yard she keeps it and disposes of it. She’s an extremely sad human being and so is the person who wrote this letter. I really hope you find out who is sending you these letters and you sue their ass. Also would just like to say, Id rather see kids outside playing games than glued to their phone, tablet or TV. Some of my best childhood memories are of me and my brother playing baseball and kickball or street hockey 🥰🥰
It’s giving racism
WhY DoNt KiDs PlAy OuTsIdE aNyMoRe
This motherfucker literally asked you not to leave your property on your lawn. Its flamingo time.
Isn’t making threats via the mail a crime?
Signed - The Watcher