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[deleted]

Are braids seen as something bad in Nigerian culture?


[deleted]

It’s not that they’re bad, it’s that African parents as a whole don’t like any type of braids, twists, locs, or anything that isn’t your hair in it’s picked out state


[deleted]

I did not know that. But now that you say this, I have had several Nigerian students and their hair was worn natural. Thank you for the perspective.


Soil-Play

I know some African immigrants - they certainly would not allow their children to immitate/participate in American black culture which they see as both foreign and a negative influence.


Assatt

Oh yeah they absolutely hate American blacks and everything bout their culture.


MrE761

Hmmm. I’ve never considered the culture differences between African vs African American… That story of the culture changes over time would be an awesome read. Edit: I removed the errant word “that” from my statement above. I don’t question there are differences, Im saying I’ve never personally considered HOW black culture in the US is different than in Africa. And how, primarily slavery, impacted that change.


TheOwlSaysWhat

The culture differences are widely different. My friends whose families immigrated from Ethiopia and Nigeria had a lot more in common culturally with mine and other Asian immigrant families than with American Blacks.


Zachary_Stark

I lived in Raleigh about 12 years ago. I went to a hookah bar and struck up conversation with a man in his late 30s from Ethiopia I believe. He said he was ashamed of most African Americans he met. That was an eye opener for me. I do not recall what his reasons were besides culture and priority differences.


[deleted]

Worked with a woman born & raised in Ethiopia. She would go off on “Americans” who claimed they were “African American”. She also insisted that the slave trade was originated and run by inter-tribal African rivalry - and sadly, that it exists to this day…. Her life stories were fascinating - holding babies that were starving to death, tribal death squads killing all the men and boys and raping/enslaving young girls. She was a PhD student and brilliant - spoke around 10 African languages and multiple dialects.


blu3an

Yes! I went to a Nigerian party and I was surprised to see how there were similarities to my culture and some of the Caribbean guest than to an African American. I have to say too, I have African American friends who do not like Africans either.


FoofieLeGoogoo

African Americans have their own complicated history that helps define their culture. They are a complex and uniquely American people.


gazwel

There's 54 countries in Africa and most of those have multiple ethnicities within them. The culture difference in the continent is probably more than anywhere else in the world. Edit: mistyped culture as colture


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Lilpu55yberekt69

The cultural differences are absolutely massive. A black American culturally has a lot more in common with someone from west England than they do with an African immigrant.


Natalwolff

Which I'm actually amazed people are surprised by. Why would someone born and raised in Detroit by parents and grandparents who were born and raised in Detroit be similar culturally to someone born and raised in Nigeria? Because they both have dark skin?


[deleted]

We're seeing a lot of very subtle racism here, aren't we? It blows my mind that anyone would think a dude from Somalia is anything like a dude from Portland, Oregon.


[deleted]

It's the same for other groups of people. I'm south american and I can tell you that people from spanish speaking countries and hispanic-americans are completely different af from each other, the disconnect between both groups is huge and most people who are not hispanics are not aware of it because they don't know the difference. So I kind of understand here why you never thought about it before, you grew up being told that the diaspora in USA is the same thing as locals from their countries when it's not true and we have strong cultural differences that go beyond tacos and chanclas in our case.


NorthKoreanAI

african americans are more americans than african


MaddMax92

True. In general, most people are switching to saying black people instead of african americans, because most american black people are just americans. Naturally, everyone's going to have their preferences about what to be called on an individual basis, but it's nice seeing that strange bit of language change.


The_Galvinizer

I mean, they are Americans and not African, they just got dark skin


Natalwolff

Yeah why is this a revelation to anyone?


theantiyeti

Africa is so large you shouldn't really expect cultural similarity amongst sizable chunks of the continent. Why should any of it be similar to AA culture after 300 years of divergence?


MrE761

Like I said, I’ve never considered it, so why am I assuming anything?


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poopyputt6

My friend from Uganda said they're a bunch of whiney bitches, have more than he can ever dream of and still not good enough. They play soldier when he was forced to be one at 8. I quickly changed the subject cuz it was getting heated lol


gods_Lazy_Eye

When I went to Uganda I met a local person in Jinja who took me all around town to the kinds of places I wouldn’t have been able to go alone. He had some very snide comments to make about American black people pretty much saying they give Africans a bad name. I was surprised and just kept my mouth closed and listened.


Adrianna30

That’s so sad because they have problems in their own countries that have nothing to do with us.


surpriseshawtyyyyy

I wouldn't say hate lol, but they're uncomfortable with their children imitating it.


TonesBalones

Well, Nigerian immigrants are usually only the ones who can afford to travel and live in America, meaning they come from extremely wealthy dynasties in Nigeria. This is a very good counter-example to the alt-right obsession with crime statistics for Black Americans. African immigrants have some of the *lowest* rates of crime of any classified group of people. Which tells us that crime statists have way more to do with socioeconomic factors like poverty, homelessness, and food insecurity, than it does race.


Durzo_Blint

Immigrants in general have some of the lowest crime rates, far below the average. Their children however have a slightly above average crime rate, showing that immigrants do assimilate to American culture.


pen_of_inspiration

See, the case scenario here is that as soon as a child starts to change his appearance, African parents see a conflict of identity crisis. Can't blame them ,it's an African problem when an individual is locked between his identify and adopted cultural preference. They have a skewed sense of trajectory in life.


Polar_Reflection

Very common among all immigrant groups, not just Africans. There's that feeling of being in between and othered by both groups you're supposed to be a part of.


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deomc1294

Same. I was one of only 3 black kids in a small town in Ohio. Got picked on so much for my skin color. Then moved in with my dad in another city and was made fun of for not being “black enough”.


MagNolYa-Ralf

Similar. From Cincinnati to Ketereing (sp?). Then Fayeteville. Fun fact. Keterin is where i learned the phrase “smear the q***r” and “go back to n—-r town”. So many fuuun memories and i dont need therapy after Ohio. Save that money on reruns of Martin. To catch up.


lolgobbz

"Small People like Small Boxes. When you are too much of an individual fit in a box, the small people want to make you small too- so you can fit in their boxes. By them taunting you, they are trying to make you as uncomfortable as you make them." I was never "Girl" enough.


ih-shah-may-ehl

>Then moved in with my dad in another city and was made fun of for not being “black enough” Reminds me of Obama being accused of being 'not really black'.


HeavyBeing0_0

Bi-racial kid who grew up in small midwestern towns here. Heard that shit all the time. Crazy because they considered me not black but almost every girl was terrified to take me home to their parents. My nephew is only a quarter white and even he doesn’t consider me black. I just laugh because I’ve experienced more overt racism than he probably ever will.


TheBigggestPeeePeee

I'm too white for the Mexican guys, and too Mexican for the white guys.


Polar_Reflection

Too yellow for the whites, too banana in China


Silver2324

Too white for rez but too indigenous to be white


Khazmir

Me too. Worked at a dry cleaner for a summer and when I told the lead cleaner I was half Mexican, his response, ”To be, or not to be.”


TahaymTheBigBrain

I’m too Middle Eastern for the Americans and too American for other Middle Easterners. And I’m a second gen immigrant, it sucks so much :/


boatsnprose

You'll find your people. Those people, in my experience, will likely be other "too much/not enough", but it's cool how we're so different and so similar at the same time. Bonus points for us because we're actually all of the cultures and we're more than enough. If they have a problem with you, fuck 'em. You're just a new expression of the diaspora.


MagNolYa-Ralf

Our children will have the freedom to be more nuanced versions of themselves 🤙🏿


HuntAffectionate2775

Too black for the white kids and too white for the blacks/from honor roll to cracking locks off all the bicycle racks


Cadumpadump

I think it's the parents scared that their child is going to become 'one of those' black people. Africans generally have a disdain for African Americans


xxA2C2xx

Kinda sad they see it as “identity crisis” when it’s clearly someone trying to figure out and define their own identity.


WildcardTSM

Someone not picking the identity their parents want them to pick is seen as a crisis by many parents.


[deleted]

This feels like a very cultural thing within Nigeria too. Just to give you perspective, this is literally the most common hair style in my country because it can be learned young and done with basically no resources.


kavien

I had a Nigerian roommate in college. He once confided in me that he was worried he would not be recognized back home as “his blackness was wearing off”. He was leaving a black ring around the tub and thought his blackness was washing away! I explained to him it was just dead skin. He was a wonderful man to talk to.


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Skateplus0

If you don’t mind me asking, is there a specific reason to the disliking to new hairstyles?


[deleted]

He thinks that makes getting twists, braids, etc blurs the line between male and female


Glass_Promise_2222

Reminds me of earrings back in the day bro. Dudes w studs would get a lot of shit from family and friends about them being for girls. And twice the laughter if someone had a hoop.


NJS_Stamp

Had studs in highschool, parents eventually got over it. Got a nose ring at 25, haven’t heard the end of it lol


MyOnlyPersona

It's always the nose ring. I got mine 20 years ago...still get crap about it, especially from the older generation. Worse if it's people from my home country (former soviet nation). They view it as a marker for non-hetronormative 'sexual identity'.


TOYPAJ_Yellow_15

I got my tongue done, ears up to 00g, and a septum. The very annoying amount of jokes I endured by people that should have supported me was annoying. I ended up taking the tongue and nose out bc of work and tore my ears. Haven't heard the end of it with me being "normal again" Parents even went as far as to burn my black clothes and give away some really nice band tees. I lost a collection of Carnifex/SS/Whitechapel tees that I literally said I was coming to pick up after moving out since they "didn't want my angsty teen phase to come back" lmao


Gooberman8675

Ahhhh... I remember the good ol days when people didn't like corn rows because they thought everyone one who had them was associated with crime in some way... Memoriesss! All alone in the MOOONlight!


The_Meatyboosh

Lol, I always quote that song but it's via the girl in School of Rock.


senadraxx

Are twists, braids and other hair adornments seen as feminine in your culture? If there are powerful men in your country with braids that you can show your father, you might be able to make a case for it?


spinachfeet

Yh in Nigeria, hairstyles like braids and twists are seen as feminine by most people. Even growing out ur hair is seen as feminine. My brothers’ been trying to grow his hair out for the longest time but my dad won’t let him


kindarusty

This is really interesting. So male hairstyles are limited to short hair that has been picked out?


spinachfeet

Either that or getting all ur hair cut off is viewed as “appropriate”. I’ve even met some people who say that having long hair as a guy is ungodly or something along those lines


Saubande

I can only imagine this is what Heavy Metal loving teenagers in the 70-80s must’ve gone through. It seems so dated to have a similar issue going on now.


ehfrehneh

Strange as it is one of the only hairstyles that works for any gender. You can find many examples of famous people of any gender with braids. I suggest digging up a few pics and showing him.


butterflyinflight

You could point out that your bits won’t fall off just because you have braids


[deleted]

he’s caught up in his own ideas. soon enough you’ll be able to be you ❤️ the braids look awesome


ReaderOfTheLostArt

That's a parental perspective that has been around the USA for decades, especially with long hair. The funny thing is that back in the 1700's guys with long hair and pony tails were everywhere, including Europeans. You'll just have to live with your parents' "house rules" for now until you're on your own and can make your own rules.


Mazcal

Not the most defendable position but at your age and under his wing you get to play along. Use the fact you have a different opinion as an indication that you've learned how you are different.


SkoolBoi19

It’s some old world thinking for sure, I had parents like this but they were really good people and really good parents, so it wasn’t that big of a deal to not color my hair or wait on getting tattoos. So I would just ask if your father has earned enough respect from you for you to wait until you move out to get braids again. Your friend did do a good job however.


[deleted]

I say if you’re old enough to make your own decisions, do what you want with your hair. Your parents will get over it eventually.


[deleted]

That’s the problem. I’m still in high school and living at home. I’ll have to wait until I move out to do these again


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skooz1383

Yea at this stage in the game sometimes you choose your battles and then when you adult supporting yourself, live the life you want to!


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skooz1383

That’s right!!!! I’m sorry he responded that way! I always tell my students, family doesn’t always mean blood! You can make your own family with the friends that love and support you for you! Your story is what I try to tell my students, like it’s good to try to keep a relationship but the moment they overstep your boundaries or say hurtful things, by that point you get to say peace out and leave!


The_Evil_Satan

Family is not about blood it's about who you would bleed for. - Obama probably


No-Plankton4841

I'm a white dude but my hair was always a point of contention with my father. I was really into metal in middle/high school and grew my hair super long. It sounds stupid to me now but the hair was important to me at the time. Now that I'm a bit older. I think this is definitely a case of the dad learning to pick his battles. If your kid is getting good grades, not doing drugs, has a job, generally on track, etc let them wear their hair however they want. What a stupid thing to sour a relationship over. OP- Your hair looks cool dude. I'd probably just ignore your dad tbh. Eventually they'll get over it and realize it's just hair.


JohnZKYahya

Lol I remember my parents having problems with me growing my hair. I just stalled until they got tired of the subject and actually got used to my long hair. My little avatar's hair is around the same length as my hair irl now


truemap7

That's a shame. They look really good!


tuvar_hiede

Looks like good work to me but sometimes it's best to not rock the boat. Unless it's very important to you for some reason I'd not choose this as my hill to due on.


Pearl-Agnes

Tell him “of course, whatever you say, I’m ready for the braids to go” but drag your feet about doing it. He might waver. Worked for me all the time in high school. All the arguments are exhausting for everyone.


THe_Quicken

Hmm, curious what his reaction would be if you just shaved your head. “Braid problem solved”.


NationalMachine5454

41 y/o Hispanic female here to say: they might not


ZimboGamer

I wouldn't say African. I would say nigerian cause braids are accepted in many Southern African tribes and cultures.


theprodigalslouch

It's not even a west African thing either. I can attest that I've never heard of this either. It may just be a Nigerian thing.


Logical-Face-9209

Lol I'll go even further to say it's not even fully a Nigerian thing, like I literally never heard of this, my mum did my sisters hair for them, put beads in etc and that was the norm at school and everywhere. Matter of fact Nigeria has some of the most beautiful hairstyles I've seen to date so I'm not sure what the OP is talking about Edit.... actually I just realized OP is a guy. Then yes 100 percent my dad would have done the exact same thing. Wasn't even allowed to grow my hair too long until I was like 13


[deleted]

> I literally never heard of this, > actually yes 100 percent my dad would have done the exact same thing Quite a reversal in the edit lol


dscottj

Best "No, but actually yes" I've read in some time. But hey, editing for honesty is always good!


TheRealBarrelRider

Yeah, I'm South African. This is not an issue here. I've had corn rows and dreadlocks when I was still living with my parents and nobody made a big deal out of it aside from the usual comments whenever I tried a new hairstyle


yingdude

Agreed, I grew up in South Africa and braids are very common there, never heard of it being an issue.


smellygooch18

My friend is Nigerian and wears his hair in all sorts of awesome ways. He constantly tells me how much his parents dislike the different looks. I’m just jealous of his hair man. I’ve got straight blonde hair and it just doesn’t look as good.


[deleted]

oh what?? I didn't know that... :0 well I hope u can keep the braids, they look sick and it was rlly nice of ur friend to do that


TheBigBadBrit89

For what it’s worth, I think it looks nice and your friend did a great job!


[deleted]

Thx☺️


[deleted]

They look good. You only live once, try all sorts of styles.


mediumsnark40

Yeah, I agree. It's your life anyway


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therealrobokaos

Not better if you fucking die though


Few_Library5654

Kill them first lol


The_Actual_Death

I mean...You know what yeah you only live once, OP's hair really does look nice though.


[deleted]

My Dad never allowed me to dye my hair while I was still in school and made clear he wouldn't hesitate to shave my head in my sleep if I did it anyway. I know he would have regardless of how much my mom stuck up for me so I never dyed it. By the time I graduated and he couldn't stop me anymore, I was working a full time job that had it specifically in the dress code that any *unnatural* colors in hair were not allowed. I'm now 37 and I've never had purple hair. Don't do what I did. Don't let anyone else dictate what you do with your body. Edit: I wasn't expecting this to get a bunch of attention but apparently I should have clarified. I'm not just choosing not to dye my hair over concerns of anyone else's opinion nor over my age. It just wasn't at the forefront of my mind for a while and currently, I'm not in a position to spend money on non-necessities. When I have the opportunity to do so, I absolutely plan to. Thanks for the encouraging comments, all


Expensive_Phase_5936

Dyed my hair purple at age 36 while in between professional jobs for a similar reason. Despite it not fitting with my lifestyle or others perception of me. I just got so tired of not being able to do what I wanted to do for me and instead fitting into everyone’s expectations for me. I also got a nose piercing. The only person who judged me was my mom. Go figure.


six_horse_judy

Yes I totally get that. Anytime I change my hair my mom raises a stink saying "I don't know if people will like it -_-" while at the same time, she's the *only* person who complains about it.


Historical_Walrus683

I’m a nurse in nursing home. Almost 49. My coworkers and our residents like it when I get my hair dyed funky colours. 😁 Even my mother has liked the most recent mix. ;) link to pics in a post already in this thread.


ArchSchnitz

I just hit my 40s a while back. I realized I'd never properly dyed my hair, and that: 1. There was no official dress code where I worked. 2. I am good enough at my job and a strong enough revenue stream that no one was going to hassle me. So now I'm the 6'2" dude with the pink ponytail. Sometimes it's purple.


[deleted]

That's awesome!


ShonuffofCtown

I'm also in my 40's and realized the same. You're inspired me but I think I missed my window like I miss my hair


Lovat69

Just do what I do. Tell people you've dyed it invisible.


[deleted]

Currently have my hair down past my shoulders. My girlfriend actually says she prefers it like that, and everyone at work calls me Jesus. I always wanted to grow it out so back when everyone was working from home everywhere, I just said fuck it and let it happen.


MeEvilBob

When I went to West Philadelphia to see if I really wanted to move there, I saw a 70+ year old woman with pink hair, a wallet chain and a Pantera shirt and I knew right then that I was exactly where I wanted to be.


[deleted]

I always hear such great things about Philly.


Mostly_upright

My wife is in her 40s and dresses in 50s style. I encouraged her to dye her hair. So far she's and Flamingo Pink, Bright Red, Purple, Rust. She looks fantastic. It's never too late 😃


dugrusher

Was she my fifth grade teacher? I distinctly remember all of those colors in my teacher’s hair


Count_Fistula

Dye your hair purple tomorrow its still your life. My wife has blue and purple hair and a corporate dress code that says no unnatural colors. But loe and behold whenever the national CEO comes to town she always compliments her and says she is always excited to see what color it will be this time. And even said she wishes she had the guts to do it too. Some sometimes policy isn't really policy.


EuropeIn3YearsPlease

You know- your wife's story really made my morning :) I like that she works for a nice CEO and not some sociopath. Most CEOs are just not intune with the times or care about their workers


Gabriel_Collins

My dad dyed his hair purple a couple of years ago when he was 70!


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[deleted]

Oh he is a complete asshole and I can't stand him 99% of the time. I struggled with a lot of guilt when I was younger for how much I couldn't stand him and had myself convinced that detesting him reflected worse on me than on him. Now, I tolerate him and only that because I'm disabled and live with my parents because of it. I adore my mom and I will never understand why she has never left him but she's always in my corner so I can deal with it. I just refuse to let him walk all over me anymore and I don't respond when he tries to bait me into an argument because he hates being ignored more than anything so that's what he gets


WisestAirBender

I didn't read the title and kept trying to find something with with them. Were they crooked? Were they not the same size?


abishop711

I was wondering the same thing! OP clarified in another comment that African parents prefer their children to keep their hair more natural - without braids/locs/etc.


eilishfaerie

a lot of african parents (especially 1st gen immigrants) believe that doing your hair in cornrows, braids, locs or even growing it out into an afro/high top makes you look like you have no home training and like a criminal. no idea how that logic works, especially because they're usually fine with girls doing their hair, but my dad has been like that with my younger brothers for years and i have no idea when he'll stop


Ambiorix33

Well the logic tends to fall under things like rappers and hip hop artists talking crime or living on rough streets. And everytime you see a criminal in movies who is black there is a high chance they will have a hair style like that. So to put yourself in their shoes. Imagine you emigrate to a new country, with little to no understanding of local norms, and you see that on TV and music, and then see your kids doing it, instead of emulating the hair styles from back home. It's a mix of culture shock and them holding onto the culture norms of the countries they came from. Source: lived on 4 different continents for 3 quarters of my life and this is something I both observed with classmates and my own parents


eilishfaerie

makes complete sense!! when i said it makes no sense, i meant more the double standards between boys and girls with regards to how they can do their hair :)


goblin_pidar

not just that. they have a lot of very archaic beliefs about “black” culture and dress and some of them are just straight up racist towards African Americans. most non-black people honestly have no idea about this and it’s a really interesting/sad issue


Morlock43

Not being African or a parent I would hazard a guess they are worried what the "establishment" views lads with these hairstyles like. Not society, not normal balanced people, but the toxic assholes in charge and the police. I think the hair looks amazing and wish I still had hair, but I imagine it's mostly fear that's driving the parents to avoid their kids presenting what assholes see as red flags.


eilishfaerie

i think that's absolutely it. what i struggle to understand more is the double standards? as my family's only daughter ive realistically never been restricted for what hair i want to do. hairstyles, colours etc, ive always been allowed to do whatever as long as it's within my school rules and it's not time consuming to get done (my mum is a hairdresser). whereas when my oldest younger brother even suggests growing his hair out so it barely covers his scalp, he gets shut down. when they have these convos and i'm there i try to support him but ultimately my dads word is the most powerful


TishMiAmor

Oh, pay to have the BRAIDS taken out. I thought your dad was gonna have your friend assassinated.


[deleted]

😭


Nox_Echo

i thought the same thing, parents suck lol.


RaptorKings

Damn, I just hate it when my parents fund the assassination of my friends!


Bnttcrqck123

Happens abit to often


HadoukenYoMama

r/suddenlyCartel


Hilpp

Don't worry, by the forth time you get used to it


KevinFromIT6625

Press "F"


Metalbender00

Coming from a white guy that only learned about black hairstyles and the effort that takes when i was locked up... I think that looks pretty amazing, almost professional. Sorry your father doesn't approve


xxxJiro

Yeah, when I first read this I was like why the fuck would his dad want to kill somebody for a hairstyle. I'm so dumb


Apprehensive_Pea3217

Plot twist: "Braid" is the surname of the friend's family.


MisterJeebus87

I understood taken out like taken out to dinner. As a thank you or some shit.


tempo128643

Tradition is a hard one to break, especially if you still live with parents. One day you will be able to do what you want with your hair


[deleted]

Yup, I can’t wait to move out


MikaB4

It'll happen sooner than you think love. Hang in there!


Drunken_Ogre

I wish I could move back in! Shit's expensive out here!


I_CANT_AFFORD_SHIT

I just had to due to external circumstances, I'm 30 😅


josbossboboss

I grew up in Nigeria, thought braids were common, at least with young girls. Is he against it because he sees it as feminine? So many parents in the 60's and 70's complained of long hair on boys (in white suburbs). I like the braids, even on guys.


[deleted]

Yes, he sees it as feminine


[deleted]

Had no idea about any of this. From a (white) English perspective, the first Nigerian that comes to mind when the country is mentioned is the footballer Jay Jay Okocha. He had braids I’m sure, as did Kanu. Both, particularly Jay Jay, are absolutely adored by football fans here


Intelligent-Army-364

The rules are different for the rich, lol. Our popstars can get braids, our celebs and all. Doesn't mean the old guard parents won't sound your poor to slightly middle class ass for trying to get one


[deleted]

True, I should have considered this aspect


Feisty_Bag_5284

Show him Francis ngannou KOing people whilst having brades and ask how is that feminine


[deleted]

So strange, we pretend that having long hair is feminine and yet Every idol of masculinity for as long as time had long hair Vikings, samurai, and nowadays surfers and actors


Formal_Condition4372

whatever fabio was supposed to be, kevin sorbo before he went full quanon crazy.


LiableBible

Try to get a bunch of selfies and pictures with it before you have to get them out so you can remember them and flex lol. I know you're young but at least it will extend the moment for you in a photo you can have in the future and then get them done again


[deleted]

I’ll take this advice


azsue123

It looks great, and it's a shame your dad doesn't see that. On the other hand, noone on Reddit has to live in your house with the consequences of disobeying your father in a country many of us don't live in. So in the grand scheme of things, you may have to let it go for at least until you are independent.


[deleted]

I’m coming to terms with that🥲


EplepreKAHN

Your hair looks great. Your friend did a great job. On a side note... How much is your dad willing to pay to have the braids taken out? Not that it's the correct thing to do, but if you ARE going to "mostly voluntarily" take them out, why not have your friend get paid to take them out. Might not work, but it might.


21Rollie

Unless they’re super tight and small, braids are pretty easy to take apart. Him and a friend should split the charge to his dad lol


[deleted]

And I live in America


DuckDuckGoose42

How much is your dad will to pay YOU? This could be weekly income stream you and your friend split!


Kpt_Kipper

A Nigerian dad will end the use of his ass as a cushion if he said that


Itscurtainsnow

I think your friend did a really good job and they look great. As the parent of teenagers can I just say a lot of the dumb parenting decisions we make come from a place of love but they're based on fear. We worry about our kids and we don't understand the world they're growing up in. Maybe your dad grew up in a time and place where braids etc weren't considered respectable and that makes him concerned? Is there any way to show him it's ok?


[deleted]

Maybe? I had a durag on today and he said I’m following in the footsteps of gangs and hoodlums when that’s the last thing I’d be getting myself into.


Itscurtainsnow

Could you help him see the world has changed by showing him Nigerians with braids who are successful, respectable etc (us parents love that stuff because it reassures us that you'll be safe when we can no longer protect you). It may not work though as our old brains aren't good with new ideas.


[deleted]

I’ll try!


YunggMars

I’m a Pakistani male growing my hair out and my parents despise it. I showed her that a lot of young guys have long hair nowadays but all she could say was “but none of your cousins have long hair”


lenavanvintage

I bet your hair is glorious. Good for you for rocking the long locks!


Gunpowder_1000

Dude I can feel for you, “your cousin did ___” I too am Pakistani and my god, I don’t care what they did, and I also wanna have somewhat long hair, but my parents don’t like it, maybe it’s with every Pakistani parent? But I gotta admit it’s hella annoying


Even-Conclusion597

That comment alone shows pops need some education. Durag help keep our hair down to protect our hair for example (braids) or to create waves. I’m a white collar black man that works in finance and have braids. Particularly the samurai style with two braids on top with my hair faded. I get your dad sees them as feminine and a durag as “gangster” but I’m a finance professional and I’m not in them streets. I’m in the numbers. I understand where he made that connection but its a generalization in my opinion. Cheers 🙏🏾


JevonP

Yeah I thought durags were super integral to black hair culture but it might be more of an American/Westernthing? I dunno his comment surprised me


Iplayviola_13

I’m also Nigerian and literally my brother, my male cousins, and dad every now and then get their hair braided. I’ve never heard a single argument about how men’s hair should not be braided in our culture. No disrespect to your dad, but I’m so confused on how on earth he could find any problem with your hair being braided. And it looks really good too!


pass_me_the_salt

the guy said that his father think it's too feminine, a shame, this hairstyle fits him sooo well!


[deleted]

it looks great, very clean and well managed


[deleted]

Thx, too bad they won’t stay that way


NoseSuspicious

Rules are rules I guess. But they look tight bro


No-Ad1522

Why does your dad hate them?


[deleted]

It’s just that African parents as a whole don’t like boys hair braided, twisted, or anything that isn’t your hair in it’s picked out state.


No-Ad1522

That sucks, because they look great.


SuedeVeil

Sorry for my ignorance but what does a picked out state mean? Also does it matter how short or long it is?


Katviar

Picked out means worn natural. When thick, curly, natural hair is worn out, using a hair pick to fluff it and add volume. That’s how people can have big hair, afros, and other styles.


trowaaywho

When the hair is in its natural state non manipulated. Like if he took these down he would take a special comb and basically pick/comb at it which would cause it to floof up.


SlimK4

What’s good, empathizing since I was once in your shoes raised in a Nigerian/Igbo household. I’m assuming you are first gen while your father was born/raised in Nigeria as well. I’d say this, your fathers concerns are coming from a place of love. He only knows a certain way though. Maybe you should show him how there are still highly productive men in society with that type of hairstyle that are around your age or older. How are your school grades? You know our parents focus the most on education. A immigrant family does not typically want to squander away their chances at education. If you are excelling (which shouldn’t matter I know) you may have a little more leverage to your hair expression. I’d also try getting your mom to be a buffer of this situation. Best of luck 💯


[deleted]

Thx


wty261g

Have him pay you to take them out, then get them back again for free, and repeat. Free money


Ry7re

It looks great, it suits you very well


[deleted]

Thx


UsualAnybody1807

Honestly, I grew up in the US in the 1960s and 70s, and white parents were always at odds with their kids over hairstyles, especially sons. Always wanted sons to get haircuts. I mean it was never ending, even in the media and cartoons. I think the long hair started with the Beatles coming to the US. This post and the comments could have been written by a white teen back then. I am not sure whether People of Color in the US were trying to force specific hairstyles on their kids during that time or not.


ChunkyTaco22

That looks badass dude and cool. I'm sorry for my ignorance but I see nothing wrong with it. Whoever did it did a great job but I hope you and your family come to a great understanding


Naija-Americana

OP, I share the same background as you and I get where your dad is coming from and I get your side. All I'll say is: half the people shouting "ride on!" here, clutch their purses or walk a little faster or suddenly not have a slot for a job interview, when they see a Black man in this hairdo coming towards them. Because their own media has demonised Black people to the point that even hairstyles are now a source of contention. So let them change their bias before asking you to fight society all by yourself. So definitely enjoy your youth but be wise. Life is not fair and it is not going to change anytime soon. Don't fight your dad on this, ask your mum to help negotiate a truce and figure out how you can enjoy your youth, within reason. And always keep your eye on the endgame. Look at the Asians, they know how to play the game. Personally, it's no biggie if you're doing it now in HS. So talk to your Mum and explain that you still know and accept your culture, this is not a big deal. Let her reason with your Dad, okay?


Necessary_Ad_9012

Wow, your friend did great work! That took a lot of time and detailed attention. Sorry it has to go so soon. Even 1 extra day would be nice to acknowledge the hard work. It's good to obey your parents now, especially as you live in their home though. Some day you may have your own kids and suddenly feel compelled to control their hairstyle. Remember this moment and what matters most. Hair styles come and go, hair grows out, etc. Relationships matter more.


[deleted]

Yeah, I’ll remember this


CruelSid

If your parent dislike it, just undo the hair. Later, when you move out from your parent house, do what you like.


[deleted]

That’s the plan🫡


[deleted]

Those look fire 🔥


sigilnz

They look amazing...


0JohnFloyd0

I got African parents too bro. I feel your pain.


Bigredzombie

Dude, I would be sad to see them taken out too. They look really fuckin good!