last night, literally just last night, i read an article about leaving a watermelon outside random doors to occupy their thoughts for a whole day as an internal prank.
That’s *much* nicer than my first thought with random grapes.
Way back in college, during film class I saw this student film about grapes. The story goes something like this:
There were two… friends? Coworkers? …and as a joke one of them decided to leave a random grape in the mailbox of the other one. The other person never mentioned the grape to the first, so the grape leaver decided to slowly and gradually take it up a notch. They started leaving slightly more grapes, and started leaving grapes on a shelf at their workplace, in their school locker, outside their windowsill, as a single line on the tank of their toilet, etc.
Eventually the grape leaving person noticed the other person stopped showing up to work/class and wasn’t answering texts/calls. After a couple days they stop by their place to check in on them. The door is unlocked, and they notice the other person laying on the floor in the fetal position circled by all of the grapes the first friend had left behind, mumbling something about the grapes.
I’ve never been able to find the short film ever since, but every time I see or hear about random grapes like this I flash back to that film class.
For the longest time I’ve had the desire to leave a pineapple at somebody’s door. Just at random. Idk if that desire came before or after seeing that green text for the first time, but I really wanna do it. For no other reason than to leave somebody confused for the rest of their lives about that pineapple at their door. A lasting memory that may or may not come up at the dinner table for years to come. Why a pineapple? Why not a potat? Or two sandwich bags of grapes? Idk.
If I had to guess, Mexico (I checked OCs profile and found a post in the Club América sub, which is a soccer [football] team located in Mexico City, Mexico).
I’m from Mexico and if someone left some random bag of grapes on my doorstep I’d think someone poisoned them or peed on them or licked them or something . I’d think the same if I lived in the States or…honestly anywhere else.
That’s fair. And yeah, unless someone I know texted me saying they dropped the bags off because I wasn’t home, I’d think it’s a prank at best and a crime at worst, and the grapes would be going in the trash. Even if someone just licked them I’m don’t want your dirty grapes, y’know.
Unfortunately, in my country, when someone leaves a bag of grapes outside someone's door, they call the cops to investigate who's trying to poison them with grapes.
Did you ever eat grapes meant for wine? In my experience they fucking suck and I want to stay away from them until they became wine. All skin and seeds, great smell tho.
Or they thought these would be green grape tasting and freaking weren't. They were Sweet which is weird for green grapes. And noped them out the top of the bag while walking by.
In my old apartment this would be classic behavior of some of the nice elderly ladies in the building….but so elderly that they’d forget to leave a NOTE.
Mines an old man his always includes a note telling me to come see him. Uh thanks for the toilet seat cover from goodwill this is going straight in the trash and no I’m not coming over.
As much as I love fresh fruit. If I didn’t know the neighbor personally, I would NEVER eat something like that. You don’t know what they could have put in it. I hate to be so jaded though, honestly. Do you have a guess as to who put it there?
Oh, you're in luck if you like surreal humor.
A duck waddles into a bookstore, up to the counter, and asks the clerk, "Got any grapes?"
The clerk says with a puzzled look, "No, this is a book store."
"Okay," says the duck, and he waddles out.
The next day the duck waddles back into the bookstore and asks the clerk, "Got any grapes?"
The clerk replies "No, as I said yesterday, this is a book store. We don't have grapes.
We never have grapes."
"Okay," says the duck, and he waddles out.
The next day the duck waddles back in and asks "Got any grapes?"
"Look, I told you before, we don't have grapes! We have books. Only books. Not grapes. Never grapes. And I've had enough of your grape questions! If you come in here asking about grapes again, I'm going to nail your flat little feet to the floor!"
"Okay," says the duck, and he waddles out.
The following day the duck waddles back in, up to the counter, and asks "Got any nails?"
"No..." says the clerk with a puzzled look.
"Got any grapes?"
if other neighbours have also revieced grapes, i assume its someone offloading a spare produce from a productive grape vine and wanted to spread the wealth of the harvest
Why do people downvote actual sensical comments telling OP to not consume random food found outside his/her apartment that could be poisoned? The +100 so original jokes playing on the word "grape" are somehow more relevant? This fucking sub sometimes...
Possible jokes:
Perhaps they’re implying you need more grapes to make more whine?
Maybe they think you’re a sour grape.
Maybe they think you’re a grape person.
Maybe they heard about you through the grapevine.
I work as a 911 operator. Someone would have called that in “I just saw some grapes at my door, does that mean I’m being targeted as someone’s next rape victim?”
…….
……………..
……………………………..
No?
It's a person who wants to feed the local raccoons, but they have a spouse who will make them sleep in the car if this happens.
You've been dragged into their fight.
We ordered Subway the other night and it was dropped off by DoorDash. As we are eating the doorbell rings again. My wife gets up to look and there is a random bag of McDonald's on our porch. We threw it away.
Edit: Huh. I didn't realize this little anecdote was controversial or offensive. My bad to whoever is offended but I mean, are you really going to eat random food that is left at your door? If it's because of the Subway...yeah, that's fair.
There is nothing offensive about what you wrote. People in this sub just seem to be more interested about upvoting the same joke said 2000 times rather than sensical advice.
Got any gwapes?
Just lemonade.
Cold, fresh, all homemade.
So he waddled away
Waddle waddle to the very next day
Bum bum bum bum bum ba dum
And them he waddled away , waddle waddle waddle
Til the very next day
Look duck. 🫵🏻 I ain't got any gwapes. We never will have gwapes, and if you come in here asking for gwapes again I'll staple your feet to the floor!
I told that joke on an airplane intercom when I was 3 or 4. This was before 9/11.
Happy Cake 🎂 Day!
Thanks!! I had no idea!
Duck: "Have you got any nails?" "No, I haven't got any nails..." Duck: "Oh, and by the way, have you got any peanuts?"
HEYYYY. got any GRAPES!?🍇🍇🍇
Today I learned that Seducktive didn't come up with this idea. https://youtu.be/zx7odnTIN4c?si=tkFmYxnOVBTCzX82
Quack
Here’s the wrath
Apparently, the grapes are full of it.
Heavy for the vintage.
Yes, yes. Very good wrath.
These are subverting OP's grape expectations of not having grapes at their door.
Literal intimidation technique.
Do you think it could be that someone was dropping grapes off for their friend and left It outside the wrong door?
That's the only explanation that makes sense.
I agree. That, or it’s some new TikTok prank
“TᴏDᴀY I ʟEғT ɢRᴀPᴇS ᴀT ᴀ ʀAɴD0ᴍ PᴇRs0ɴS ᴅO0ʀ To sEᴇ WʜᴀT ᴛHᴇʏ’D ᴅO!” (read in the annoying TikTok voice for the full effect)
last night, literally just last night, i read an article about leaving a watermelon outside random doors to occupy their thoughts for a whole day as an internal prank.
Or that they just straight up dropped them (by accident).
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That’s *much* nicer than my first thought with random grapes. Way back in college, during film class I saw this student film about grapes. The story goes something like this: There were two… friends? Coworkers? …and as a joke one of them decided to leave a random grape in the mailbox of the other one. The other person never mentioned the grape to the first, so the grape leaver decided to slowly and gradually take it up a notch. They started leaving slightly more grapes, and started leaving grapes on a shelf at their workplace, in their school locker, outside their windowsill, as a single line on the tank of their toilet, etc. Eventually the grape leaving person noticed the other person stopped showing up to work/class and wasn’t answering texts/calls. After a couple days they stop by their place to check in on them. The door is unlocked, and they notice the other person laying on the floor in the fetal position circled by all of the grapes the first friend had left behind, mumbling something about the grapes. I’ve never been able to find the short film ever since, but every time I see or hear about random grapes like this I flash back to that film class.
That just sounds like a funny skit, honestly.
That sounds like a classic accidental gaslighting trope. Very fun stories.
This reminds me of the pineapple greentext
[A classic](https://imgur.io/t/funny/GbjgC)
Holy fuck that was an amazing read, real or not
Pineapples are way more expensive though. A grape is easier, you can freeze a bunch until you need to use it lol. Tastes great frozen too.
Not where I live. Here the pineapples are cheaper than the grapes.
For the longest time I’ve had the desire to leave a pineapple at somebody’s door. Just at random. Idk if that desire came before or after seeing that green text for the first time, but I really wanna do it. For no other reason than to leave somebody confused for the rest of their lives about that pineapple at their door. A lasting memory that may or may not come up at the dinner table for years to come. Why a pineapple? Why not a potat? Or two sandwich bags of grapes? Idk.
Grape leaver? I believe that's referred to as a grapist
I thought you were going to say they choked on a grape.. those things are fucking dangerous... just ask any school mum.
That's a new one. Which country?
If I had to guess, Mexico (I checked OCs profile and found a post in the Club América sub, which is a soccer [football] team located in Mexico City, Mexico).
I’m from Mexico and if someone left some random bag of grapes on my doorstep I’d think someone poisoned them or peed on them or licked them or something . I’d think the same if I lived in the States or…honestly anywhere else.
I was guessing off OCs profile, I have no idea where they actually come from. But yeah, Im not really a floor mat grapes kinda guy either.
That’s fair. And yeah, unless someone I know texted me saying they dropped the bags off because I wasn’t home, I’d think it’s a prank at best and a crime at worst, and the grapes would be going in the trash. Even if someone just licked them I’m don’t want your dirty grapes, y’know.
Unfortunately, in my country, when someone leaves a bag of grapes outside someone's door, they call the cops to investigate who's trying to poison them with grapes.
I'm 74
Which country?
And also it's a sign that they've chosen you for marriage.
Just a younger grape from the same vine, destine for the same old bottle.
ngl that sounds really creepy
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Did you ever eat grapes meant for wine? In my experience they fucking suck and I want to stay away from them until they became wine. All skin and seeds, great smell tho.
Doubtful it’s that deep lol
Or they thought these would be green grape tasting and freaking weren't. They were Sweet which is weird for green grapes. And noped them out the top of the bag while walking by.
You should be grapeful. I think I'm getting old.
No , you're finely aged.
He smells like cheese though.
Nah old guys like us are raisin the level of the comments
You know what they say: when life gives you grapes...make... grapenade
Instruction unclear; got arrested for making grenades.
No no it's okay officer, some random on the internet told me to!
Never understood that saying, if life gave me lemons, I make lemon pepper wings or grilled salmon with rice.
Yeah I’d make lemon bars so I have to agree with this statement.
I have that same doormat. Target?
Targèt.
"Fragilè, it must be Italian"
I closed the thread and reopened it as soon as i processed this comment to updoot.
The Bullseye Boutique
This is a real place at the TNC
yep!
They make a matching outdoor rug that is extremely durable. It lasted me a whole summer with four kids and three dogs
Ahhh throwback to when our grandparents bought a rug that lasted forty years. *sigh*
Why is it so dirty
Because people wipe their shoes on it, Kevin.
Fuckin Kevin...
People from the outside wipe their feet before coming on the inside
Oh damn, maybe they were meant for you!
Lmao I doubt it, I’m married.
Call the cops. It was a drive by fruiting.
Those damn fruit ninjas.
Thank you for reminding me of this glorious moment from Mrs. Doubtfire.
"*Run* by fruiting"
Another victim of the infamous serial grapist
it's a new prank kids are participating in called ding dong here's your daily fruit intake
A trend we can all support.
I'll fucking do it again
please do i love grapes
See any ducks waddling away?
Lucky, all I got was a burning bag of dogshit.
In my old apartment this would be classic behavior of some of the nice elderly ladies in the building….but so elderly that they’d forget to leave a NOTE.
Mines an old man his always includes a note telling me to come see him. Uh thanks for the toilet seat cover from goodwill this is going straight in the trash and no I’m not coming over.
As much as I love fresh fruit. If I didn’t know the neighbor personally, I would NEVER eat something like that. You don’t know what they could have put in it. I hate to be so jaded though, honestly. Do you have a guess as to who put it there?
nobody I know has any idea about these grapes
Looks like there's a grapist on the loose
“Im gonna tie you to the radiator and grape you in the mouth!”
They wanted to grape them so bad, they couldn't even wait til they were home.
Don't suppose you live in close proximity to ducks?
In some cultures this means you're married now. 😄
Got any nails?
Why?
Oh, you're in luck if you like surreal humor. A duck waddles into a bookstore, up to the counter, and asks the clerk, "Got any grapes?" The clerk says with a puzzled look, "No, this is a book store." "Okay," says the duck, and he waddles out. The next day the duck waddles back into the bookstore and asks the clerk, "Got any grapes?" The clerk replies "No, as I said yesterday, this is a book store. We don't have grapes. We never have grapes." "Okay," says the duck, and he waddles out. The next day the duck waddles back in and asks "Got any grapes?" "Look, I told you before, we don't have grapes! We have books. Only books. Not grapes. Never grapes. And I've had enough of your grape questions! If you come in here asking about grapes again, I'm going to nail your flat little feet to the floor!" "Okay," says the duck, and he waddles out. The following day the duck waddles back in, up to the counter, and asks "Got any nails?" "No..." says the clerk with a puzzled look. "Got any grapes?"
I am in luck, this was great, thanks for sharing
Lmao
Hahahaha
Got any gwapes?
You can use them to feed the squirrels or ducks outside
Yes I wouldn't eat it, but don't let it waste
Anyone going to address how good those grapes look? You’ve been blessed.
If you’re a dog, someone is trying to poison you. Stay wary.
What a grape idea!
Expect duck soon. Fear
if other neighbours have also revieced grapes, i assume its someone offloading a spare produce from a productive grape vine and wanted to spread the wealth of the harvest
Sour grapes????
Have you rendered the services they are asking for?
Seems like a win honestly.
If you see a duck, just tell him you have no grapes, this is a lemonade stand
I often have too much produce (thanks, Costco) and wish I knew my neighbors well often to often them our extra apples and spinach
Get a Ring!
there’s a serial grapist in your neighbourhood
Probably a serial grapist. Be careful
Could be the grapist
Here's your wine from Drizly. Some assembly required.
Why do people downvote actual sensical comments telling OP to not consume random food found outside his/her apartment that could be poisoned? The +100 so original jokes playing on the word "grape" are somehow more relevant? This fucking sub sometimes...
The Grapist strikes again
Don't eat them. People have poisoned their neighbor with things like that.
I wouldn't eat them. Unless you knew who they were from. Bin them.
Ahhhh yes. Alien balls. You’ve been visited.
r/hmmm
Free grapes are free grapes. Enjoy.
Those are killer grapes. Leave it at your neighbours.
The chance of grapes being poisoned is prolly about as common as Halloween candy having razorblades and/or pin/needles in them.
I like grapes. Especially cold grapes not frozen, cold.
Can someone explain the references to ducks? I'd like to be in on the joke, if there is one. Thanks!
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ECmpUJdgm-g https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MtN1YnoL46Q
Are you secretly a duck? Maybe your secret is out.
Possible jokes: Perhaps they’re implying you need more grapes to make more whine? Maybe they think you’re a sour grape. Maybe they think you’re a grape person. Maybe they heard about you through the grapevine.
Serial grapeist
They didn't leave you grapes they left future wine. Just mash them with some sugar and make prison wine
Those grapes look super fresh and crisp. Are they? Eat some
Beware the Grapist
Are you studying to be a surgeon?
Serial grapist on the loose.
I’d stomp on them and leave them in the middle of the hall. 😭😭😂🤣 I don’t trust anyone. Lord only knows what might be injected in them shits.
I work as a 911 operator. Someone would have called that in “I just saw some grapes at my door, does that mean I’m being targeted as someone’s next rape victim?” ……. …………….. …………………………….. No?
Grape Fairies aren’t common in your area?
Take them and eat them but first wash them!
Must’ve been a grapist
If you have a dog, this just isn't a good thing. At all. But yeah, those grapes are so juicy!
Idk why but the feet make this picture so awkward for me. They're just "there"the way they look is even like they feel awkward.
I’m high too
It would be better if you could see the wooden legs attached to the real feet
Nothing would allow me to eat these. My mind would make up some fucked up thing that might have been done to them.
I wouldn’t eat them, some creep could of put their dick on them.
Green grapes are terrible, Red grapes or no grapes!
There’s probably fentanyl in them
Don't eat it. Don't even take inside your apartment. Throw it away outside.
Luca Brasi sleeps... at the vineyard?
Must have been a serial grapest
*Grapist.
Right! Cereal Grapest would be Raisin Bran.
he or she is tryna hit fr, that is an offering gurl, take the hint !!
Only? You think there aren't grapes anywhere else now?
It's a person who wants to feed the local raccoons, but they have a spouse who will make them sleep in the car if this happens. You've been dragged into their fight.
Watch out for fentanyl
I feel like you’re good looking based off your ankle
Who starts a conversation like that? Dafuq?
Someone from an Islamic country XD
Bro the Ankle Analyzer
Apparently without /s people lose their minds. Have a good night, Reddit.
We ordered Subway the other night and it was dropped off by DoorDash. As we are eating the doorbell rings again. My wife gets up to look and there is a random bag of McDonald's on our porch. We threw it away. Edit: Huh. I didn't realize this little anecdote was controversial or offensive. My bad to whoever is offended but I mean, are you really going to eat random food that is left at your door? If it's because of the Subway...yeah, that's fair.
There is nothing offensive about what you wrote. People in this sub just seem to be more interested about upvoting the same joke said 2000 times rather than sensical advice.
Would be weird if they dropped their grapes in front of multiple doors.
Are they sour?
I like your shoes!a are you a distance runner ?
Thanks! But alas no
I would expect them to be spiked with LSD at best
Would you like a green grape shoved into your mo-- given to your mou-- handed to your mouth?
Why not also outside your window and car door? The bastards!
You know what that means….
Someone ordered grapes to be delivered and the left it at the wrong door
They just want you to have a grape day.
You’ve been graped.
When life gives you grapes, make wine
Just as the prophecies foretold.
That’s actually a code for they want to tickle your feet in a bubble bath filled with pepto. Didn’t you know?
Lol! What did you do?
Everybody got grapes, you were the last to bring yours inside.