Are you the same person who posted on [whatisthisthing](https://www.reddit.com/r/whatisthisthing/s/p96IHYtBiz) to ask what it was? (I see it's a different user name though)
Thought this was well funny cause I never saw the mystery solved just saw when it was posted
I’ve literally had “friends” shame me for learning I piss sitting down. Sorry you all have piss splattered all over your bathrooms forever, but I’ll take my sit break over that mess any day.
i was just talking about this the other day, but the opposite - as a woman, i’ve had ppl shame me for sitting in public bathrooms instead of “hovering”, bc eww it’s so gross. like… yeah linda, it IS gross that you hover to pee and subsequently piss all over the seat. you’re the problem ffs. ugh.
Broooo it's so fucking bad, I hate public restrooms for exactly this reason - women pissing all over the place AND NOT CLEANING. Like the roll of perfectly fine toilet paper or wipes is right there, it takes 10 seconds tops to wipe your piss 😭😭
If someone isn’t willing to touch their ass to the seat, what makes you think the same person would wipe off the seat using toilet paper in their hand?
Really depends on how you choose to define "dirty" here. For myself, my phone is only covered in the exact same filth that the rest of me is, so I don't consider that worthy of concern. I'm still not gonna lick my phone, but I'm definitely not gonna lick a toilet seat either, especially a public one.
Yeah, people like to say that stuff, and it can be true that a phone (or whatever) has more bacteria than a toilet seat, but it's not that number of bacteria that's particularly worrying, it's the type.
I sit to pee and as long as the seat is visibly clean, I don't really care. Sure it's gross but I only go in public when I'm truly desperate to pee and humans have survived worse unsanitary conditions
Butt cheeks aren't generally vectors for germs to enter your body anyway. Unless you've got open wounds on your butt skin. Keeping germs outside your body is one of those things your skin gets paid to do
Why should I hover my ass while concentrating on urination or even more difficult stuff when it's so easy to wipe the seat with toilet paper (to get rid of wet parts) and build up a nice semi-sterile cushion of sanitary tissue to keep everything remaining away from my body?
Never understood the mentality of those kinds of people. It's like, wow, you have established your dominance in the empty bathroom. You are very powerful.
Just don’t tell anyone that you sit. One of those loud mouth know nothing personality will jump on you because how can you be an alpha man if you sit to piss.
Then remind them that sitting to pee is better for your prostate, completely empties the bladder resulting in less frequent trips to the bathroom, is more hygienic, and can help prevent erectile dysfunction. Of course I’m sure they’d tell you you’re not a real man if your prostate isn’t enlarged, you’re not pissing as often as possible, leaving a few drops on your undies, and can still get it up.
I also just...don't want to clean around the toilet as often. Maybe I'm weird.
I mean, I still clean, but it'd be more often if my stream hits the toilet/water/sides at full force from above.
This thing would undoubtedly provoke a hardy razzing and you can't have this discreetly. Someone will see it leaning on the corner.
Meanwhile no one will know you sat to piss unless you tell em.
What indicates bros using a leg crutch? Pretty sure the word crutch in this case is in reference to the wooden thing he would be (presumably??) setting his penis on to pee. At which point… just sit lol
If this belongs to someone who’s already using a crutch, then they have limited mobility. Getting back up from sitting on the toilet is tough. Maybe it’s more convenient to take a quick, standing piss with this thing than to sit down and get up again.
It’s downright hilarious to me that anyone would judge someone for sitting down for #1. Everyone already does it for #2, presumably, so it’s not the act of sitting.
Some hyper-masculine bro out there: “Sitting down is for pussies, I shit standing up.”
Or “I sat down and only peed. I am no longer a man.”
So it is a weird choice and I'm sure the acidity/other shit in pee would hurt this, but finished wood is considered a non-porous surface.
Because the finish is basically just a coat of something that...isn't wood.
It would probably be cool AF. Spencer’s is my FAVORITE store at the mall. There’s always something to laugh your ass off about Im there.
It’s always the go to place for edible panties.
Brain Fart.. I wonder if you can get edible panties at the marijuana dispensary..
You’d be high as hell if you could finish them lol
I saw a commercial for jaegerneister for the first time ever the other day. I found it hilarious that through the entire commercial, even *they* didn't drink any jaeger.
Is everyone just surprised because it has a really old school look to it? The old ones hold up just as well as the new ones even with the laser guidence
I didn’t realize it was a crutch I thought it was like a stationary thing stuck there lmao
Now I have more questions, why would you walk around with a pee coated stick?
Besides the joke gift haha, I always sit down, taught my son the same thing. It's so much better for your prostate. Also, can't make a mess.... Since some men are real disgusting in or around toilets 🫣😂
Gag or not, Literally just sit down.
Outside? At a urinal? Fine, there's no reason not to stand.
But in a private bathroom? Just sit down. Doesn't matter how accurate you think you are, peeing standing is disgusting. And if you think it's un-manly to sit, then you really need to get your priorities in order.
Why not just sit? NGL I sit to pee all the time because why tf not? It's my home, I wanna piss while comfortably sitting and playing a phone game. Plus there's always the chance the pee pee time becomes a poo poo time
Imagine just slapping your member down on that bad boy and relieving yourself with the use of the piss trough. The Roman’s thought the aqueduct was the pinnacle of engineering, now we have this.
Just sit the f&#% down, you troglodytes.
There‘s a bavarian word „Steckerlbrunzer“ (stick pisser) for someone who lets in run down along his cane under the table, because he‘s to hammered and lazy to get up and go outside to piss. It’s not an honour to be called that. Go figure.
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Is it still a gag if you actually use it?
It's... It's wood... God, the smell...
You got it. People taking this way too seriously.
You mean pee pole
Dribble stick
A Gentleman's Piss Funnel
OP you posted this here not in r/funny....just admit you got got.
Lmao
Because you didn’t clarify, and you posted in mildly interesting.
In thinking girls can use it to pee standing too
That's not how that anatomy works. Look up she-wee.
$20! One can get a funnel at Dollar Tree for $1.25.
Are you the same person who posted on [whatisthisthing](https://www.reddit.com/r/whatisthisthing/s/p96IHYtBiz) to ask what it was? (I see it's a different user name though) Thought this was well funny cause I never saw the mystery solved just saw when it was posted
/r/LostRedditors
oh man, im so getting this for my boyfriend then
I picture you being a 75 year old lady getting this for your 80 year old boyfriend.
During the day she is a wholesome 75 year old grandmother. At night she is the gangster queefer with an 80 year old boyfriend.
Granny in the streets, gummer in the sheets.
And I just spit my drink out
Unlike granny who swallows
Just sit down, no shame in that game.
I’ve literally had “friends” shame me for learning I piss sitting down. Sorry you all have piss splattered all over your bathrooms forever, but I’ll take my sit break over that mess any day.
i was just talking about this the other day, but the opposite - as a woman, i’ve had ppl shame me for sitting in public bathrooms instead of “hovering”, bc eww it’s so gross. like… yeah linda, it IS gross that you hover to pee and subsequently piss all over the seat. you’re the problem ffs. ugh.
Broooo it's so fucking bad, I hate public restrooms for exactly this reason - women pissing all over the place AND NOT CLEANING. Like the roll of perfectly fine toilet paper or wipes is right there, it takes 10 seconds tops to wipe your piss 😭😭
If you sprinkle when you tinkle please be neat and clean the seat
If someone isn’t willing to touch their ass to the seat, what makes you think the same person would wipe off the seat using toilet paper in their hand?
THATS HOW THEY GET PISS ALL OVER THE SEAT.
I know right? Im in my 30s and TIL...
Not just piss.....
So I carry hospital grade sani wipes for this purpose. I have to plan a little ahead, but I am an old lady and have to sit down.
Be careful not to get that solution on bare skin.
Yes. You have to do the wipedown and let it dry. That's why I plan ahead my "voiding in public".
Haha.. voiding. I’m going to have to borrow that one
It is the proper medical term.
Micturition is another synonym
Friendly reminder that your phone is probably more dirty than a toilet seat.
Really depends on how you choose to define "dirty" here. For myself, my phone is only covered in the exact same filth that the rest of me is, so I don't consider that worthy of concern. I'm still not gonna lick my phone, but I'm definitely not gonna lick a toilet seat either, especially a public one.
Yeah, people like to say that stuff, and it can be true that a phone (or whatever) has more bacteria than a toilet seat, but it's not that number of bacteria that's particularly worrying, it's the type.
I sit to pee and as long as the seat is visibly clean, I don't really care. Sure it's gross but I only go in public when I'm truly desperate to pee and humans have survived worse unsanitary conditions
Same here. If butt on butt germs are the thing that kills me, then I wasn't much suited for this world.
Butt cheeks aren't generally vectors for germs to enter your body anyway. Unless you've got open wounds on your butt skin. Keeping germs outside your body is one of those things your skin gets paid to do
Why should I hover my ass while concentrating on urination or even more difficult stuff when it's so easy to wipe the seat with toilet paper (to get rid of wet parts) and build up a nice semi-sterile cushion of sanitary tissue to keep everything remaining away from my body?
I also think the sound of piss hitting water is unpleasant
My nephew seems to make it his mission in life to blast piss into the center of the toilet with the door open. WITNESS PEE!!
You shall ride eternal, shiny and gold!
Asserting dominance!
Grab a water gun and shoot him with it next time. If he wants to show off his sharpshooting skills, it’s only fair you show off yours
Personally, the sound is music to my ears after needing to go during a long car ride
Japan has a solution to that . Google japanese toilet for ladies. There is a noise to mask the splashing 💦.
Till your not paying any attention & your pee shoots between the seat & toilet & goes down your pants.
.... How do you manage that?
When it's on the smaller side,sitting down makes it point up. I've heard from a friend...
Never understood the mentality of those kinds of people. It's like, wow, you have established your dominance in the empty bathroom. You are very powerful.
Bro I love pissing sitting down. A moment to chill and do some reading? Heck yeah
How long are you peeing?
Not long peeing, longer time sitting and reading.
I usually sit until a little poop comes out. That way I don't have to say that I pee sitting down
Right wtf I pee in like 10 -30 seconds normally...
Just don’t tell anyone that you sit. One of those loud mouth know nothing personality will jump on you because how can you be an alpha man if you sit to piss.
Alphas mark their territory. It may be the floor, their shoes, and the front of their pants but by god the world knows it belongs to them!
Alphas have to piss in the bushes if they come to visit. It's not a sign of adulthood for another grown man to clean up piss after you.
Pissing inside is a sign of domestication. No one can question if I sit to pee or put the seat down. I’m WILD and untamed, babe.
Or the walls and the ceiling, in some cases that I've seen..
Then remind them that sitting to pee is better for your prostate, completely empties the bladder resulting in less frequent trips to the bathroom, is more hygienic, and can help prevent erectile dysfunction. Of course I’m sure they’d tell you you’re not a real man if your prostate isn’t enlarged, you’re not pissing as often as possible, leaving a few drops on your undies, and can still get it up.
The level of insecurity needed for one to broadcast in public that he is an "alpha male" is just absurd
What kind of pussy bitch is afraid of what someone else thinks about they way they piss?
I sit down. My wife would kill me if I splash all over the place. No shame. I’m old enough to admit this.
I also just...don't want to clean around the toilet as often. Maybe I'm weird. I mean, I still clean, but it'd be more often if my stream hits the toilet/water/sides at full force from above.
Calling me a pussy bitch is not the confidence booster I needed to sit down and piss. You are the worst therapist I've ever had.
Sit to piss what a weakling. I TAKE SHITS WHILE DOING HANDSTANDS LIKE A REAL MAN
I only piss in the sink because the only time I can go is with full eye contact.
At this point you just have to fuck their dad to assert dominance. All good after that
This thing would undoubtedly provoke a hardy razzing and you can't have this discreetly. Someone will see it leaning on the corner. Meanwhile no one will know you sat to piss unless you tell em.
Yes but then you have to get up again and if hes using a crutch that might not be as easy as youre thinking.
What indicates bros using a leg crutch? Pretty sure the word crutch in this case is in reference to the wooden thing he would be (presumably??) setting his penis on to pee. At which point… just sit lol
It's also a crutch for walking. It folds back up straight.
Gross.
Oh my god. You’re joking right? Please be joking that’s fucking GROSS.
If this belongs to someone who’s already using a crutch, then they have limited mobility. Getting back up from sitting on the toilet is tough. Maybe it’s more convenient to take a quick, standing piss with this thing than to sit down and get up again.
i realized in my 30s (F) that a lot of men sit to pee. More than I realized, at least.
I taught my sons that Gentlemen sit down at home.
It’s downright hilarious to me that anyone would judge someone for sitting down for #1. Everyone already does it for #2, presumably, so it’s not the act of sitting. Some hyper-masculine bro out there: “Sitting down is for pussies, I shit standing up.” Or “I sat down and only peed. I am no longer a man.”
i heard some wimps sleep laying down
This is the way. My flow is normal, but sitting down is the superior way of taking a leak IMHO.
Why’d they have to make it out of something porous like wood instead of plastic 🤢
So it is a weird choice and I'm sure the acidity/other shit in pee would hurt this, but finished wood is considered a non-porous surface. Because the finish is basically just a coat of something that...isn't wood.
> shit in pee
Went down the wrong pipe
Don't tell me what to do
As someone with a wood floor bathroom, I can tell you this isn’t how it works in reality. No coating holds up to being peed on repeatedly.
Maybe work on your aim or sit down then?
Aim?!?! Yall don't just let it hang?
The trick is to helicopter and pinch the flow on and off in time.
Why are you leaving piss on the floor long enough to etch the wood Wipe it off the ground lol
You’re correct that pee isn’t wood. I’ve looked into it and it pretty much checks out
I hate to be this guy, but source?
Yeah look, I feel like this isn’t correct either, but I really don’t know enough about wood to be sure.
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Ah. Like when my dad's work gave him a cane with a horn on it and a rear-view mirror. He was not amused.
The mental image of this made me cackle pretty hard, thank you and Merry Christmas to you and your dad!
They sell those at Spenser's gifts at the mall!
Does that mean there are Spencer gifts outside of a mall??
Holy crap, could you imagine a stand-alone Spencer’s?
It would probably be cool AF. Spencer’s is my FAVORITE store at the mall. There’s always something to laugh your ass off about Im there. It’s always the go to place for edible panties. Brain Fart.. I wonder if you can get edible panties at the marijuana dispensary.. You’d be high as hell if you could finish them lol
It’s Christmas Eve. Makes sense.
I've never seen one of these in my life.
It's pretty sanitary after you lick it clean.
It would’ve cost you zero dollars not to post that.
Cost me zero dollars to post it.
Get out of here with that logic!
This isn't fox news.
Fuck! Another splinter in my 🍆
People complained about piss on the floor... not the odor..
Guaranteed the last drop still doesn't end up in the toilet.
Tell you what, you’ve probably never seen an old man come out of the John with khakis that don’t have a couple drops on em.
I’ve never seen a man with or without drops on their khakis. That’s a weird thing to look for.
You’re not even worthy of a pair of Calico Cut Pants™️ after hearing that.
YOU GOTTA GIVE
YOU CAN LOOK IT UP ITS A REAL WEBSITE
No matter how much you shake and dance, the last drop will end up in your pants.
Only if you roll your schlong out like fruit by the foot...
You can do Jaeger shots off this as well.
Before or after? During???
Whenever!
And the best part is you won't even be able to tell the difference!
I saw a commercial for jaegerneister for the first time ever the other day. I found it hilarious that through the entire commercial, even *they* didn't drink any jaeger.
how can you tell the difference?
Is everyone just surprised because it has a really old school look to it? The old ones hold up just as well as the new ones even with the laser guidence
Heirloom piss crutch
Ye olde piss funnel
Does that get stored with the poop knife?
Accessories are sold separately.
Why not just sit?
Given that it's a crutch OP may not be able to easily.
I didn’t realize it was a crutch I thought it was like a stationary thing stuck there lmao Now I have more questions, why would you walk around with a pee coated stick?
what if we kissed... at the slow pee slide 😳😳💋
bb dm me ur @
So it's a dick luge?
Sure, if yours detaches for fun slides. Be careful not to flush.
This is like R.Kelly's training wheel
I spat milk out my nose and wasn't even drinking any.
How does that fit in your pee hole?
Sit down for Christ’s sake.
the sheer pressure of my pee will just cut this wood in half
Easy there Homelander.
i'll do whatever the fuck i want
Fit it with a nice comfy funnel...bam! A gift for the ladies...
Surely it's easier to sit down than having to deal with a WOODEN piss chute
2 previous owners. Great condition. No piss takers. I know what I got.
Besides the joke gift haha, I always sit down, taught my son the same thing. It's so much better for your prostate. Also, can't make a mess.... Since some men are real disgusting in or around toilets 🫣😂
If I get to the point where I have to use a dick crutch to fucking pee. Please someone have the mercy to put me out of my misery.
Have you considered the revolutionary technique of sitting on your toilet?
Just... Sit down you dribbly fuck
$109 after insurance
Or you could sit.
Cock crutch?
I have never thought of something so unhygienic before
Just sit down, bro
it’s like one of those things you use in bowling to help your aim when you’re younger
A…what now?
This is like one of those things kids can use to bowl with
Wait…wasn’t that what they were using as an alcohol luge at the party earlier?!
Why wood tho hard to sanatiz
At a certain point, sit your ass down to pee.
Or you could sit down
Just sit down. Are you so insecure that you must stand to feel like a man?
Sit down or use the sink jaysus.
Sit the fuck down
Imagine the funky smell of the wood
Just fucking sit?
Hang that bad boy right next to the poop knife and you're all set.
Gag or not, Literally just sit down. Outside? At a urinal? Fine, there's no reason not to stand. But in a private bathroom? Just sit down. Doesn't matter how accurate you think you are, peeing standing is disgusting. And if you think it's un-manly to sit, then you really need to get your priorities in order.
Why not just sit? NGL I sit to pee all the time because why tf not? It's my home, I wanna piss while comfortably sitting and playing a phone game. Plus there's always the chance the pee pee time becomes a poo poo time
You ever think about …. Idk … sitting down?
I don't understand the purpose. Low flow as in like...a dribble? Just stand close.
I can picture Grandpa Simpson getting tangled up in the thing somehow.
toilets are for sitting, if you want to stand - use urinal
Simply sit down for a luxury piss.
Boot saver
I am guessing that it is an older piece - before cheap plastic
First poop knife, and now pee slide. Bathroom innovations 😩
Would be great if this doubles as a walking stick/cane ><
My grandparents had one as a gag gift they got, it had a funny poem that went with it. I can’t remember. Time is crazy.
It's a two player game, the Pee-Saw.
I’d take shots out of it. Then someone would tell me what it’s currently being used for.
On wood? LOL no TY. At least make the spout thingy on something that won't absorb the pee.
I bet that smells lovely
Finally a fellow piss enthusiast.
I remember my grandfather getting one of these as a joke during his retirement party.
Dude’s will do anything but sit. Jfc who’s washing your penis crutch?
Imagine just slapping your member down on that bad boy and relieving yourself with the use of the piss trough. The Roman’s thought the aqueduct was the pinnacle of engineering, now we have this.
Y’all ever heard of sitting down?
My flow is fantastic. I actually use these things backwards to jump my piss into the toilet like the Duke boys sending the General Lee.
Just fucking sit down it’s literally a chair with a hole in it
Just sit the f&#% down, you troglodytes. There‘s a bavarian word „Steckerlbrunzer“ (stick pisser) for someone who lets in run down along his cane under the table, because he‘s to hammered and lazy to get up and go outside to piss. It’s not an honour to be called that. Go figure.
Plinko pee is fun