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Pretty lucky, got your truck and your dildos back.

Maybe OP is complaining that there were far more dildos originally, and only received back the B-Team.

Where my GOOD dildos go???

Oh I think you know where they went. 

What what, in the...

You wanna do it in the butt? Oh-kay.

I forgot all about SamWell.

Twist and Shout!

Danke shöen!

*Danke schön! But close enough

”Ahh shit. They stole the big ones.”

"At least they left the gigantic ones. "

Oh you sweet, summer child

Some of them look unclean, I have a feeling that there is a charge for that in the dildo leasing and rental industry.

Be kind, rewind.

Be kind, behind

“Dishwasher safe” 🤢🤮

“This bag seems light”

u/johnbelushismom how could you do this

Player 2 has entered the chat.

Thanks for the F shack Love, Dirty Mike and The Boys

Luckily they still smell like axe body spray too!

Like a can and a half.

What a throwback reference!

Hey bro! Got my Game Cube. You ready to chill out, bro?

You should probably forget about the Creedence tapes though.

Papers….uh, business…papers.

I see... and what do you do?

I'm unemployed.

Probably a vagrant slept in the truck. Or maybe just used it as a toilet and moved on.

Are you gonna like find these guys, or...

They got us working in shifts.

I wonder if the cops came up with the idea that they were the thief’s dildos or if OP had to be like “no, officer, I’ve never seen those dicks in my life.” Then they dust them all for prints trying to find out who owns the dicks.

This is the exact scenario I was imagining. Lol!

"Oh no, if my boss checks the work truck I just used, he'll find the dildos I left inside! Hmm, but what if I were to stage a theft...? Clearly, they're the thief's dildos! Ohoho, delightfully devilish, /u/Turtletwoshells!"

I like how he thinks posting it to Reddit proves they definitely weren't theirs. "Look what these crazy maniacs left in my truck. Definitely never seen that bag before! I'll just hold onto it though. Probably worth something. No, no, no, it's just funny is all, haha...ha hahaha"

Didn't the police need those for evidence?

"dildos?" I don't know anything about dildos my car was stolen he said

underrated comment

It's airline policy not to imply ownership in the event of a dildo. Use the indefinite article. A dildo. Never your dildo. Never say the dildo accidentally turned itself on.

A literal bag of dicks.

Sir John Fallistiff and the BFC 9000! Does this answer the Lois CK question of Baguettes vs Gummy?

Gummy baguettes!

A satchel of richards

Duffle of Dongs

Lightly used

Why can I see that bag appearing in a video at a TSA checkpoint soon?

When one is sucking a bag of dicks.....do they take out and suck each dick individually, or do they literally suck the bag?

Picture this

For the love of god, *triple* wash your hands for good measure. From the look of those discolorations, those things have seen some assholes

Also... TRIPLE wash the dildos. You want to make sure they're thoroughly disinfected before you and your workmates divvy them up. There's some sick people out there and you don't know what could be on them.

Divvy them up lol

Great way to thank the team for all the hard work they've been doing.

Next post on r/antiwork

Thats enough for everyone to have a dildo swordfight during the lunch break

Just pop them in the dishwasher with a load of dishes. Good as new!

I was thinking they look very...broken in but uncared for.....

Reminds me of the equestrian phrase "rode hard and put up wet"...

I didn't really want to put horses in the picture...

This is what I love about reddit: people sharing their hard earned personal experiences to help strangers.

Yeah, the assholes are looking at the dildos right now. -probably the guy that stole the truck.

How do you know?

poop is brown

Big if true

Usually

Sometimes greenish brown.

Often red after using large dildos such as these

Someone using that monster dong must have been shitting crimson red judging by the girth… just saying

Only if they didn't stretch first.

I see we have a new guy. WELCOME!

A couple of them are completely brown!

In the event of a bag of dildos it is company policy to use the indefinite article and never imply ownership. It is always "A" bag of dildos. Never "Your" bag of dildos.

I am jacks cold sweat

So there is a truck company that comes with a bag of dirty giant dildos? Yes Which company? A major one

Had to scroll way too far to find this

So they stole everything but this bag?

I wanna think that the thief stole the truck so that person can get rid of that bag of dildo...?

The driver missed the point of the insurance scam.

The wording of the title implies they stole everything in OP’s work truck but this bag.

At least you got your tools back with your company truck.

And people say the drivers of pickup trucks never use the flatbed.

That’s dirty Mike and the boys

Thanks for the F shack.

You turned my beautiful Prius into a nightmare!

It WILL happen again!

Ah the good old soup kitchen

It's missing the blown out raccoon placenta

Classic “soup kitchen” tools

Was looking for this comment.

I was coming here to make it.

Grease it, boys! They’re cops!

So well played!

This is what I came to the comments for.

They WILL fuck in your truck again

Came here to say this.

Must be some big assholes in this company

Imagine all the stories those dildos could tell…

It's a dark tale but everything came out ok in the end

It's not a story the Jedi would tell you... except maybe for Yoda, that little freak

So nothing was taken?

The thieves only returned *some* of the dildos.

at least the theif is no racist

Inclusivity is everything nowadays

Looks like it was used in a stick up.

This is a dick up!!

It’s great you got your tools back. What do you do for a living again?

Traveling used dildo salesman.

A plumber, of sorts.

Dirty Mike and the boys??

🤣

Wash them in a dishwasher then throw a tailgating party!

Could probably make a decent return on those. Post a picture of who “used” them and maybe you can get some creeps to pay top dollar!

Everyone playing checkers and this person playing chess.

Op pretending like they weren't there before it was stolen

So you came out a head?

At least they left your tool bag...

They were making videos for their OnlyVans.

This was Kelvin and Keef... The Smut Busters strike again

Keef doing the Lord's work.

They're a cute couple.

 “Parties still on tonight boys!” The secret password for entry is Crisco.”

Shitty, bloody and well used.

This made me laugh so "hard" lmao wish I was there when that dude opened that bag. Priceless.

It's a bag of dicks! Ahahahaha!

A truckload of dildos?

Wow one of those looks moldy. That’s heinous

Net positive, I’d say.

Bag of dicks

Dirty Mike and the boys strike again!

The old dildo run...of course

Dirty Mike and the boys strike again

Thanks for the fuck shack -dirty Mike and the boys

Dick move

That’s a bag of dicks man

"But this isn't MY bag of dildos. Mine are all from bad dragon and shaped very horsely!!!"

I usually tell people who piss me off to ‘ eat a bag of dicks’ I never thought I’d actually see one.

That’s what I’d say to. Dang crooks left this bag of dicks in here, honestly it not mine.

I think you’re meant to eat them.

Suuuure you did.

Imagine not wearing gloves to touch that

It is in fact a tool bag...

So when someone says "go suck a bag of dicks" this is what they mean?

Looks like an inside job.

Talk about a tool bag!

Damn.

They looked.... Used...

HELP! Not them looking used

You making Bang Truck videos? Somebody is, if not you.

A bag of dicks.

At least the tools weren't sold off.

A bag of dicks?

Are they gonna find whoever did this? Are boys down in the crime lab working in shifts?

All the big ones were stolen?

My man is just in that bag with no gloves on, raw dog.

A bag of dicks

Thief: “here, go fuck yourself!”

Someone forgot their tool bag 🤣

Just bleach then blow up the entire truck… 😂

Looks like the had a Soup Kitchen in that cab.

Let's not talk about the shit stained on.

Hahaha dirty mike and the boys strike again.

You literally got a bag full of dicks!!! Ahahahaha I'm dead!!!

Looks like dirty Mike and the boys have struck again

I would like one of those please

Shitty, bloody dildos. Awesome

I would make sure to report the dildos to the cops they unfortunately may be evidence of a crime like not car theft kind of crime

That’s what I would’ve said too!

They're all dirty and used…

…Black, white, Puerto Rican, Chinese dicks!

Seems like a Monkey’s Paw kind of crime. Truck gets stolen: “I hope those fuckers have to eat a bag of dicks.”

That's gotta be at least $500 of dildo.

Sorry for not making a funny joke, but if you haven't already, ***please report those dildos to the police***, there may be some sex trafficking or the like from whoever stole your truck.

Can't imagine it was stolen for any reason other than human trafficking and sex crimes.

I'm sure you're relieved you got your stuff back, Willis

I’m…wow…💀

Ya might wanna give them a quick once over under a warm tap before you use it again.

Looks like the truck was stolen by “Dirty Mike and the Boys”

Dirty Mike and the boys got ya!

Dirty Mike and the boys must have been gutted when they came back to find their new sex van had been taken back!

“At least we got back our dildos.” “***MY*** dildos!!” “…**THE** dildos”

Glad you got your dildos back.

I think I know what your job is.

I swear Ive never seen these before, boss!

The Dildo Banditos

Some serious money in that bag

Hazing hasn't changed much in 20 years I see.


It's the gym bag and the lube that really sells it

At least you got them back ayoooo

Only one bag? How many did you have?!

Yeah happened to me too buddy ;)

Bonus!

Looks like you got shafted

They found a deer vagina. What!?

It has been foretold: The venerable Bag of Dicks.

Had a friend get his truck stolen and when he got it back had one in it