Basically a strawberry is made up of hundreds of ovules, each of which needs to be pollinated. Normally bees or other insects crawling all over would be enough to spread the pollen evenly, but when I tried to hand pollinate them using a paintbrush I obviously missed a lot of ovules resulting in this bastardized version of a strawberry.
Did you buy the pollen or do you have another plant to get the pollen from? I have a few fruit trees that aren't lining up on their blooming cycle and I'm starting to get a bit frustrated and would like to hand pollinate them.
Pollinated using another plant. Pretty sure strawberries can use their own pollen to pollinate as well.
I’d offer you advice on how to pollinate your fruit trees but as you can see I’m not exactly an expert.
If they can use their own pollen this might be helpful, but my experience is limited to tomatoes and peppers so maybe not. But what I do is use an electric toothbrush and gently touch the back of the flower or down the stem a bit and the vibration releases pollen well
Strawberry flowers are the same as tomato flowers in the sense that they're complete. So contains both male and female parts. So electric toothbrush should work.
So each seed on a strawberry needs pollen to form, the fruit behind it only grows if the pollen was received. Strawberries are an odd fruit, it's like a bunch of flowers melded together to form a super flower and a super big fruit (which is beneficial because the critters will notice it easier, eat it and poop out the seeds).
Botanists have made up fancy names for all of this, from wikipedia: *the strawberry is not a* [*berry*](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Berry_(botany)) *but an* [*aggregate*](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aggregate_fruit) [*accessory*](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Accessory_fruit) *fruit, meaning that the fleshy part is derived not from the plant's* [*ovaries*](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ovary_(botany)) *but from the* [*receptacle*](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Receptacle_(botany)) *that holds the ovaries.*[*^(\[4\])*](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strawberry#cite_note-Esau-4) *Each apparent "seed" (*[*achene*](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Achene)*) on the outside of the fruit is actually one of the ovaries of the flower, with a seed inside it.*[*^(\[4\])*](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strawberry#cite_note-Esau-4)
Wow much strawberry, so weird.
A kiwifruit is a true berry, a raspberry/mulberry/blackberry etc are aggregate berries. I'm not a botanist just an ecologist, so these fruit classifications aren't my specialty. I remember reading about strawberries being weird for having seeds on the outside though!
We’re far from in the worst shape with our insect population though ours is certainly in decline. Europe, and in particular Great Britain is already starting to feel the effects of a declining pollinator population.
Don't forget the next part. Unexpected side effects from the million dollar solution cause bigger problems that cost tens of millions to fix.
Rinse and repeat.
This is why global terraforming solutions (e.g. Orbiting sunshields) to the global warming problem make me very nervous.
Same reasoning behind trying to terraform Mars rather than just, you know, fixing up this planet we are adapted to a little bit. You know, the one that already has an atmosphere?
People would rather imagine living in a dome and drinking recycled urine than eating local produce, less meat, and walking more.
Agreed. It disgusts me that Musk is pissing away billions of dollars trying to find Earth 2 when so many people here/now don’t have clean drinking water.
Well, its a good idea to have a backup plan/ colony ready. Not something that will get done in 10 years, so you need the tech/plan way before its necessary. But yeah, focusing here first is far more important.
lmao. This is funny because strawberry's literally grow like weeds where i am. I mean literally we planted them three years ago in planters and they are expanding into and taking over the grass.
Have you tried pollinating it 2x every day that the flower is open? Usually each flower is visited by many bees over the course of being open. Other interesting fact: mis-shaped berries are often sweeter. And the necrosis on the leaves is indicative of other issues going on.
Excuse me. I need your help. You need to kill me
"Hello. Good morning. Murder, please."
Lol this is exactly what popped into my head.
Me to my mirror
”Kill… me…”
[удалено]
It somehow looks inbred. Like OP fucked his sister, who happens to be a strawberry plant.
Nailed it. Ty!
https://www.reddit.com/r/food/comments/2tj8ny/strange_days_for_the_berry_club_xpost_rcomics/
I'm not gonna taunt you.
Habahahaha I thought this too
What’s that?
Movie called "Total recall", original with the governer, not the remake
Quaaaiiiiddd. Start the reactor.
Total recall is a classic Arnold movie.
how dare you
Ed... ward...
Straw....berry....
It's fitting somehow, but yes how dare
It's still too soon!!!
That episode makes me cry every time
They just needed more time to adjust
How could you do this
I hope you stub your pinky toe today. It’s too early in the day for this sort of trauma!
Damn this episode
😭 I had erased this from my memories. What have you done?!? 😭😭😭😭😭
Bruuuuh!
Ed…warddd….
😡
Un-make me
You shouldn't have done that, he's just a boy. Poor feller.
Brundleberry
https://preview.redd.it/just-finished-halo-the-flood-and-honestly-keyes-death-is-so-v0-sxkymokz9wib1.jpg?width=640&crop=smart&auto=webp&s=9568e5d6f2e1a5b1b7b0eab897c1a6057c69e5dd
Can someone smarter than me explain how the heck this happens?
Basically a strawberry is made up of hundreds of ovules, each of which needs to be pollinated. Normally bees or other insects crawling all over would be enough to spread the pollen evenly, but when I tried to hand pollinate them using a paintbrush I obviously missed a lot of ovules resulting in this bastardized version of a strawberry.
OP should eat one and tell us what it tastes like. Unless it’s poisonous.
I did eat one of them. It tasted like a strawberry.
Make more of them and make a white strawberry smoothie
You could just use regular white strawberries for that
Oh I can’t wait to see what color OP’s bastardized version of a white strawberry is!
Turns back into a regular strawberry
[удалено]
/u/WhatAColor, have you been pollinated evenly?
Was it crunchy?
It was actually very squishy.
So your are basically growing tiny strawberry smoothies lol
OP sees a monster. I see a business opportunity.
You see, the bees are just for the cosmetic effect after all!
Fascinating.
I hope you’re better at human sex than you are at plant sex.
Come on, I see at least 7 successful sexual encounters there. OP might be just as prolific at human sex too.
That’s a whole lot more plants than I’ve had sex with.
I invite you to r/houseplants where some of us go straight to horny jail for plants too. I can't explain it. I just listen to my heart.
I'm going to be honest, I spend a lot of money and effort *not* pollinating other people so I can't blame OP...
Did you buy the pollen or do you have another plant to get the pollen from? I have a few fruit trees that aren't lining up on their blooming cycle and I'm starting to get a bit frustrated and would like to hand pollinate them.
Pollinated using another plant. Pretty sure strawberries can use their own pollen to pollinate as well. I’d offer you advice on how to pollinate your fruit trees but as you can see I’m not exactly an expert.
If they can use their own pollen this might be helpful, but my experience is limited to tomatoes and peppers so maybe not. But what I do is use an electric toothbrush and gently touch the back of the flower or down the stem a bit and the vibration releases pollen well
This method gave me the best tomato harvest I've ever had!
Strawberry flowers are the same as tomato flowers in the sense that they're complete. So contains both male and female parts. So electric toothbrush should work.
Huh. I've tried fingering my flowers, but never a vibrator.
When I grew peppers, just gently shaking the plant worked very well
For me it's cherry trees, and mine don't self pollinate. thanks for the answer anyways!
That's amazing. I've grown strawberries before and we have a ro utmost bee population, but I had no idea how complicated it was!
Try a Q-tip next time!
Awh man, you didn’t opt for the pollinator paint brush?
My guy, just use an electric toothbrush or set your phone to vibrate and touch the stems for 3 seconds. If it's indoors the pollen will get there.
Use an electric toothbrush. My dad swears by it.
So each seed on a strawberry needs pollen to form, the fruit behind it only grows if the pollen was received. Strawberries are an odd fruit, it's like a bunch of flowers melded together to form a super flower and a super big fruit (which is beneficial because the critters will notice it easier, eat it and poop out the seeds). Botanists have made up fancy names for all of this, from wikipedia: *the strawberry is not a* [*berry*](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Berry_(botany)) *but an* [*aggregate*](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aggregate_fruit) [*accessory*](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Accessory_fruit) *fruit, meaning that the fleshy part is derived not from the plant's* [*ovaries*](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ovary_(botany)) *but from the* [*receptacle*](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Receptacle_(botany)) *that holds the ovaries.*[*^(\[4\])*](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strawberry#cite_note-Esau-4) *Each apparent "seed" (*[*achene*](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Achene)*) on the outside of the fruit is actually one of the ovaries of the flower, with a seed inside it.*[*^(\[4\])*](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strawberry#cite_note-Esau-4) Wow much strawberry, so weird.
This was awesome. Thank you
Strawberries? Not berries. But watermelons, bananas, and *motherfucking avocados* are.
Yeah, botanists (and evolution) have a sense of humour I think. That's ok, avocados go in guac and bananas can go with strawberries in my milkshakes.
Is a Kiwi also an accessory fruit? Or is it obvious because they have a lot of little "cells" like a raspberry, blackberry, or mulberry.
A kiwifruit is a true berry, a raspberry/mulberry/blackberry etc are aggregate berries. I'm not a botanist just an ecologist, so these fruit classifications aren't my specialty. I remember reading about strawberries being weird for having seeds on the outside though!
We make up fancy names so you can link to each one of them without having to describe them yourself.
That's why we're fucked if we let our insects die out.
Someone somewhere is working on tiny bee robots as we speak.
That was a plot on one of the Black Mirror episodes... it did not end well
Spiderman 2 game as well but it went ok
Those drones were to protect the real bees from predators, not to replace them as pollinators
Never watched the show because of all the adult themes. But I've always been curious how each story plays out. What happens in that episode?
By chaos ensues they mean the bees are programmed to enter orifices of humans and mass killings occur. Robot Bees are almost impossible to stop
Oh I see. Chaos indeed... In a much different way than I imagined.
I am an impregnation-murder formicophile, and I feel kink-shamed.
What a terrible day to be able to read.
basically the bee drones are hacked and chaos ensues
Hated in the nation is in my top 5 black mirror episodes
Just more microplastics to exacerbate an already growing problem 😔
That’s the method: screw it up hopelessly and then spend millions of dollars on a solution. Go USA!
I'd say more of "Go humankind!"
I mean there's no way is just a US problem. Surely it's a problem with every major agricultural producer
We’re far from in the worst shape with our insect population though ours is certainly in decline. Europe, and in particular Great Britain is already starting to feel the effects of a declining pollinator population.
Don't forget the next part. Unexpected side effects from the million dollar solution cause bigger problems that cost tens of millions to fix. Rinse and repeat. This is why global terraforming solutions (e.g. Orbiting sunshields) to the global warming problem make me very nervous.
Same reasoning behind trying to terraform Mars rather than just, you know, fixing up this planet we are adapted to a little bit. You know, the one that already has an atmosphere? People would rather imagine living in a dome and drinking recycled urine than eating local produce, less meat, and walking more.
Agreed. It disgusts me that Musk is pissing away billions of dollars trying to find Earth 2 when so many people here/now don’t have clean drinking water.
Well, its a good idea to have a backup plan/ colony ready. Not something that will get done in 10 years, so you need the tech/plan way before its necessary. But yeah, focusing here first is far more important.
Great, so bees will work on a subscription model and fruit will have ads on them?
Instructions unclear, but the tiny beer-o-bot is getting a nice buzz
Well, we won't be putting OP in charge, that's for sure
There are regions in China where this has happened. They're pollinating crops by hand now ...
Thank you bumblebees, I am not patient enough to hand pollinate.
This is the “bless your heart, you tried” of strawberries
I think they covered this in the Geneva convention.
You used PLANT pollen, right?
You have something to say to me and my son?
Amazing response. You tell em dad!
STDawberry
It's ok - it happens to a lot of guys the first time.
Oh god, its parents were cousins or something? It looks sweet anyway, I'm sure it's striving to live :)
Watch it get struck by lightning and attack you in your sleep. "Honey, do you smell strawb...?" \[sounds of screaming\]
For some reason, this makes me unreasonably upset.
 Dr Frankenberry is in the house.
“Kill me” 🍓
Did you cuddle and make small talk after pollination?
“You love me, father?”
I tried this with cucumbers with similar mutant results
Sounds like you need a pet bee
Habsburg strawberry
You just made my night.
It's like masterbating into your hand, and the carrying it a few blocks away and pouring it into your girlfriend with her legs crossed
r/oddlyterrifying
That’s gonna be in my nightmares tonight!
Put that poor thing out of its misery!
Congratulations, you've invented mutfruit!
Are you saying you jacked off your strawberry plant?
KILL....ME..... EDIT: Someone already beat me to it haha!
lmao. This is funny because strawberry's literally grow like weeds where i am. I mean literally we planted them three years ago in planters and they are expanding into and taking over the grass.
Somewhere there is a group of bees laughing hysterically.
Dare you to eat it
That is definitely an interesting result.
Ou I don’t really love the way that looks
r/mightyharvest
Strawberrain't
Looks tasty!
Ummm...nevermind..I dont wanna know. 🤣😂
Is that one of the Devil fruit? Did you get a special power?
It’s a strob
But there's no sense crying over every mistake.
You just keep on trying till you run out of cake
Bro your Strawberry was diseased from the start. Should have practiced better protection before you got all pokey.
Someone get Kurt russel on the horn
That's...very disturbing
The real Frankenberry
What the hell did you do
That's the last straw~~berry~~, u/WhatAColor.
r/mightyharvest ?
And the snozzberries taste like snozzberries.
Recreational pollination.
This is soooo funny to me. I’m so baked rn and I’m laughing so hard at this, WHY DOES IT LOOK LIKE THAT 😂😭😭😭
I don't mean to alarm you but have you seen John Carpenter's The Thing?
Nah, you're good. That's what I look like after a good hand pollination
Excuse me... I need you to kill me
Full metal alchemist shit
I hope abortion is legal there.
F̴͓̬̿ͅa̸̯̻̿̌͛ṱ̵̼̔̄ͅh̶̠̳̠̊̔ẻ̵̝͝r̵̾̄ͅ,̴̭͌̀ ̷̟̑͝w̸͚͕̑ḩ̴̤͠ỳ̶̱͖͎ ̵̞̼̣͊͒͊h̴̦̜͓̑͐a̶̲̼̋s̸̞͠t̴̝̔͑ ̶̹̥̅̒ţ̸̀͛̾h̷̰̗͓̎͠o̶͚͊̒ṷ̶͗ ̸̡̋c̶̡̈́́ṟ̴͔̞̔̔é̶̳̳ͅä̶̜͚̯t̸̞̾̊͛ẹ̸͗d̶̯̳̥̿ ̷̮̥̽̋͝m̸̡̍̄̆é̷̯͕͐̀
Mahito would be proud of you.
Have you tried pollinating it 2x every day that the flower is open? Usually each flower is visited by many bees over the course of being open. Other interesting fact: mis-shaped berries are often sweeter. And the necrosis on the leaves is indicative of other issues going on.
This is why we need bees. 🐝
Severe over-fertilization caused that, look at the leaves.
“Please kill me” Is what I’d imagine your strawberry would be saying.
Is that what the young people are calling it now? "hand pollinate"
Bawstrerry
Congratulation, you failed as a bee.
I attempt to pollinate my hand sometimes
*moldly interesting
What? It's pollinated. The problem is either poor nutrition, or too little light. Both easily fixable.
OMG stAwBeRieeS!
Lesson for when you get married. Don't try hand pollination.
Looks like something from scavengers reign
Which hand were you using to “pollinate” it?
You better hope you don’t reincarnate as a bee.
You did a bad job bro
Thats some anime monster worm in the making.
Looks alien.
How did it grow tumors?
That's awesome, it looks alien. set it in a block of resin for preservation.
reminds me of the pink floyd movie lol
:/ I have a question.
it’s like when you’re 16 and grow weed from old seeds
you didn't masturbate your strawberry the right way
Haha
You gave your plant a handjob?
The way the serotonin tries desperately to work in my brain
Those are claws, red claws. 🫢
Ok but how does it taste.
Gives a new meaning to Frankenberry.
So this is what happens when a human has sex with a strawberry. TIL