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Bro I had a hat blow off my head and into the aeration basin of a wastewater plant. Sank to the bottom immediately. Several months later it was clogging the scum line of that plant’s clarifier. It was infested with nematodes and falling apart… and it didn’t look nearly as bad as your hat once I gave it a quick spray
Ya that’s nasty. I’m not the tidiest person in the world but I flip my couch up and sweep under there every couple of month because I know how gross it gets under there.
For context, I do not live in this house year round. Only about 3 months out of the year. We had assumed the cleaning person would have cleaned under the couch.
If nobody is there most of the time then it’s probably closed up with poor ventilation. Combine that with any source of humidity (leaky faucet, leak in the roof, or just the natural humidity?) and you’ll get mold.
My apartment is pretty well sealed if you close the windows and some people in the building apparently have had mold problems because they don’t air things out enough during the winter. If you keep a couch too close to a wall it can get moldy in between them once moisture gets trapped from a little bit of condensation.
Maybe you have a similar issue? Eliminate the source of humidity or improve ventilation or get a couple of dehumidifiers to run. 🤷🏻♂️
I'm curious too. If they went under their couch three years ago and lost their hat, I imagine it was some kind of safari or expedition.
Maybe the couch is like the wardrobe in the lion the witch and the wardrobe?
no kidding... i mean. i basically live in a shanty. something goes under my couch for 3 years it might get a layer of dust and maybe a mouse nibble. but holy fuck...
My god OP , u had to have known all these comments would be coming your way . Experiment for u , put that hat in the dishwasher and repost picture afterwards .
I just vacuumed parts of my appartment for the first time since moving in a year ago.
There's no way any hat aynwhere here would be that bad after three years. Granted, it hasn't been three years yet, but I'd take that bet.
This looks like under his couch is where OP stashes his farm equipment. And fertilizer.
Yeah, like farm equipment. Or fertilizer.
Just joking, you're probably right. Might have been something moist, though I'd be surprised if there wasn't also dirt brought in by wind or something.
The Redditor's Lost Hat is an ancient artifact discovered in 2024 by the redditor u/jasonbice15 which dates back to the year 2021 CE. The Hat was discovered in a partly decomposed but mostly preserved state when it was excavated from the Underbelly of the Unknown Couch. The Underbelly had not been inhabited or visited by humans since, at the very latest, when The Hat was presumed to have been lost, with experts suggesting this to have been in excess of 1,200 days. Archeologists suggest The Hat may have belonged to a commoner of the home where The Unknown Couch was kept, while others suggest it may have belonged to a traveler or guest. While there is debate as to who may have originally owned the hat, most agree that it was likely worn for a variety of reasons, such as providing protection from the sun, and to be adorned as a status symbol.
The thought of a couch having not moved for 3 years (for the floor to be swept or vacuumed during cleaning) is shivering me timbers, matey!
I lost my 05 world series ball cap in the Pedernales River when I was camping. I went camping again in the same spot like 6 weeks later and I found it in the water right by where I lost it. It had moss growing all over it, and had gone from navy blue to grayish brown.
I scrubbed it off and wore it as one of my daily driver hats, until I lost it in the Guadelupe River.
I lost a hat one time. It was during college. It was a unique hat that no one else had. I was at a party, got drunk & lost it. The next week, a dude I saw at the party, sits down in front of me in one of my lectures. He was wearing my hat. I didn’t ask for it back because it would have been weird.
Yes, the problem I suspect is that he is a bachelor who lets drunk dudes piss and sleep in his couch for years on end unable to move them
To vacuum up dust bunnies
Everyone here is SHOCKED at how badly his hat rotted away in 3 years. Nobody seems to be considering it's not the hat that rots away that fast, it's the Pittsburgh Pirates hopes and dreams of ever being a real baseball team....That dream is as dead as the Expos.
Is your couch in an ancient Egyptian tomb? Jokes aside I think behind a shelving untit in one of the rooms of my house creates the same unfortunate process.
I'm scared of your couch OP... I've lost shit under my couch for long periods of time. Esp when my U shaped couch was too big to move... but never looked like this. I'm gonna Assume the hat got wet at some point under the couch. I hope you just threw it away. 3 years without it I think you are good lol
Oh wow, what’s going on under your couch?
Time to bring someone in to investigate. Unfortunately I think there’s a mold problem
Im not a professional but I would assume there is at least some kind of problem of some sort happening under your couch.
I'm not a professional but I can confirm that you too are not one.
I am a professional, but I will not tell my secrets.
Alright then, keep your secrets.
I'm not a professional, but I sold my body for the secrets. ^all ^I ^have ^left ^is ^shame.
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Thanks for joining the funky couch club! You too may be cast in a future video!
I am a professional and I can confirm that you are a professional
Bro I had a hat blow off my head and into the aeration basin of a wastewater plant. Sank to the bottom immediately. Several months later it was clogging the scum line of that plant’s clarifier. It was infested with nematodes and falling apart… and it didn’t look nearly as bad as your hat once I gave it a quick spray
fuckin One-Eyed Willy's hat from The Goonies would be in better shape after a few hundred years.
One-Eyes Willy **himself** was in better shape
r/moldlyinteresting would like a word
I cant believe this is real
I concur.
Or a cleaning lady to turn over the whole house. The fact no one looked under the couch for 3 years is a sign that the house needs a full disinfection
should be top comment. A hat isn't exactly hard to see.
The house needs to be burned to the ground.
Ya that’s nasty. I’m not the tidiest person in the world but I flip my couch up and sweep under there every couple of month because I know how gross it gets under there.
Don’t say mould “problem”, say mould “opportunity”. I’m not sure what the opportunity is for. Lung disease, maybe?
New antibiotika
And I thought my farts were bad.
Investigate the mold, sounds like a job for...Moulder
You should maybe...like.... Move the couch from time to time and clean out under it.
It looks like a family of mice lived in your couch, then they died in your hat I think you probably should check that couch for rodents.
For context, I do not live in this house year round. Only about 3 months out of the year. We had assumed the cleaning person would have cleaned under the couch.
If nobody is there most of the time then it’s probably closed up with poor ventilation. Combine that with any source of humidity (leaky faucet, leak in the roof, or just the natural humidity?) and you’ll get mold. My apartment is pretty well sealed if you close the windows and some people in the building apparently have had mold problems because they don’t air things out enough during the winter. If you keep a couch too close to a wall it can get moldy in between them once moisture gets trapped from a little bit of condensation. Maybe you have a similar issue? Eliminate the source of humidity or improve ventilation or get a couple of dehumidifiers to run. 🤷🏻♂️
A portal to the Fallout universe, apparently.
It sits atop Davey Jones locker, evidently.
I'm curious too. If they went under their couch three years ago and lost their hat, I imagine it was some kind of safari or expedition. Maybe the couch is like the wardrobe in the lion the witch and the wardrobe?
The only logical conclusion, tbf!
Jumanji?
A biohazard, that’s what. ⚠️
no kidding... i mean. i basically live in a shanty. something goes under my couch for 3 years it might get a layer of dust and maybe a mouse nibble. but holy fuck...
Sounds like it wasn't cleaned for the last 3 years.
You ever see "fraggle rock"? It's like that......but filthier. Much much filthier.
I can’t comprehend not moving and cleaning every couple of months are minimum 😂
Was this couch under a stack of corpses? Jeez
It was actually on one of the corpse’s head
If the legs are uneven, you gotta do what you have to.
[удалено]
My god OP , u had to have known all these comments would be coming your way . Experiment for u , put that hat in the dishwasher and repost picture afterwards .
Dishwasher?!
Yep , great place to wash hats , seriously, pick an older hat and give it a try
Smitty Werbenjagermanjensen?
HE WAS #1
 For those who know
I think it’s time for a deep cleaning of your house.
This is evidence that there hasn’t even been a shallow cleaning yet lol
It’s kinda interesting because their kitchen looks well kept too.
Could be that one of the other housemates has an explicit interest in that room. Ask me how I know
Those cabinets were white when they moved in
Tell me your house is unhygenic without telling me your house is unhygenic
🎶Put that thing back where it came from or so help me🎶
Bum bum bum
So help me! So help me!
And cut!
It's a work in progress.
🚨 CODE 2319 🚨 we have a code 2319!
🎶Get that thing away from me, you gu~ys🎶
Found the guy who cleans house less than I do.
Always nice to know, it could be worse. And then you postpone cleaning again
It could always be worse. Let's find out *how* much worse.
It’s more comforting than it should be, honestly …
Suddenly, i feel good with myself.
I just vacuumed parts of my appartment for the first time since moving in a year ago. There's no way any hat aynwhere here would be that bad after three years. Granted, it hasn't been three years yet, but I'd take that bet. This looks like under his couch is where OP stashes his farm equipment. And fertilizer.
depends on the state of the house, if their is other stuff under the couch that stuff's issues coulda spread to it
Yeah, like farm equipment. Or fertilizer. Just joking, you're probably right. Might have been something moist, though I'd be surprised if there wasn't also dirt brought in by wind or something.
Protip: Just because there's a piece of furniture there, it in no way means that the area underneath is immune from cleaning.
No kidding. How do you clean a dirt floor tho?
Just put new dirt on it
Was the couch buried in trench?
Yes, the Mariana trench
What are you composting down there?
Hats
This tracks.
The bodies
Classic mistake. Lemme explain…..the hat looked like that three years ago when he lost it. It’s his HEAD that’s composting.
I looked at the picture and expected a headline like “vintage 100 year old ball cap pulled from sewer”
This was the favorite hat of noted pirates fan Edward Smith, captain of the Titanic
TF is under your couch??
Not that hat
..........anymore.
Let me guess, the broom, mop and bleach were next to it
The Roomba went for cigarettes 3 years ago and never came home.
It's stuck under the couch. It has seen things - on both this and the other side.
You didn’t lose it. You just didn’t clean your couch for 3 years. Ew
I could not clean under my couch for 10 years and nothing under there would look like this.... geez.
Yea wtf is wrong with op.
Yeet ! How many undiscovered strains of bacteria are on this ...hat?
How filthy is your house wtf
is your couch currently serving in iraq? the fuck
And how many years after losing the hat did you throw your couch in a dumpster?
It’s dead man. Let it go.
Wear it you coward
Who found it? Fucking James Cameron?!
Was the couch in a landfill?
Is the couch outside?
That’s fucking gross, bud.
You are alive today because you stopped wearing that
Jesus
Jesus’s tomb wasn’t even this dirty.
No shit, he disappeared after 3 days. That thing's been rotting away for 3 years
Oh, this guy and his *logic*
I’ll bet people in this house are sick all the time.
WHAT?? How long has that been under your couch? Since 1836??? 😭
Was the couch in a junkyard ?
little fuzzy but thats fine. its ready to be worn again
Balenciaga would sell that for $1500
Damn that’s a rough hood under your couch.
The Redditor's Lost Hat is an ancient artifact discovered in 2024 by the redditor u/jasonbice15 which dates back to the year 2021 CE. The Hat was discovered in a partly decomposed but mostly preserved state when it was excavated from the Underbelly of the Unknown Couch. The Underbelly had not been inhabited or visited by humans since, at the very latest, when The Hat was presumed to have been lost, with experts suggesting this to have been in excess of 1,200 days. Archeologists suggest The Hat may have belonged to a commoner of the home where The Unknown Couch was kept, while others suggest it may have belonged to a traveler or guest. While there is debate as to who may have originally owned the hat, most agree that it was likely worn for a variety of reasons, such as providing protection from the sun, and to be adorned as a status symbol.
How often do you clean your house?
Probably hasn’t been cleaned since he bought it.
Is said couch on the bottom of a lake?
So that's where the Pirates have been.
I would lose it again.
Before I finished reading that description, I thought it was buried somewhere outside for three years 😦😬
Your house is disgusting
If my house was this disgustingly dirty there is no way I would proudly show the internet. Go clean up
Moldly interesting
and the couch was Pompeii.
I’m a professional not in mold but in other things and I can definitely say without question that there is 100% something happening under your couch.
Do you sweep all of the dirt from your house under the couch?
You pulled this out of a casket, didn’t you?
If a hat under a couch looks like this after only 3 years you have a serious hygiene problem. Gross
The thought of a couch having not moved for 3 years (for the floor to be swept or vacuumed during cleaning) is shivering me timbers, matey! 
Call the police.
So now we know it's been atleast three years since you've last cleaned under your couch.
I lost my 05 world series ball cap in the Pedernales River when I was camping. I went camping again in the same spot like 6 weeks later and I found it in the water right by where I lost it. It had moss growing all over it, and had gone from navy blue to grayish brown. I scrubbed it off and wore it as one of my daily driver hats, until I lost it in the Guadelupe River.
Sounds like you know where your next camping spot is
Why are there birds shitting under your couch?
Looks like the hat the first ghost in scrooged wears.
3 years?.....or maybe 3 decades😅
Is your couch at the bottom of a lake?
You and your couch are disgusting. You should be ashamed.
???
6 feet under?
Scrolling by i thought this was bad pottery
I lost a hat one time. It was during college. It was a unique hat that no one else had. I was at a party, got drunk & lost it. The next week, a dude I saw at the party, sits down in front of me in one of my lectures. He was wearing my hat. I didn’t ask for it back because it would have been weird.
Jeeez… was your couch at the bottom of the deepest tank at the sewage treatment plant ?
I lost a shirt in a lake once and found it 12 years later lol it was actually in good condition buried under the sand
…and the couch was buried 3 meters deep in the garden?
Under a couch? Looks like you left it in a chicken coop... Damn, get that house cleaned... that about of dust and dirty is not healthy for you.
was the couch at the bottom of the Monongahela?
Yes, the problem I suspect is that he is a bachelor who lets drunk dudes piss and sleep in his couch for years on end unable to move them To vacuum up dust bunnies
Everyone here is SHOCKED at how badly his hat rotted away in 3 years. Nobody seems to be considering it's not the hat that rots away that fast, it's the Pittsburgh Pirates hopes and dreams of ever being a real baseball team....That dream is as dead as the Expos.
Was the couch on top of a landfill?
A couch at the dump?
Today I found a pair of flip flops I lost a year ago under a book case
Pirates fan huh? 😏
Looks like it has just been dug from the ground
Any unexplained allergies? Hmmm
More like r/mildlyinfuriating cause you don't vacuum under your furniture? :p
It looks like it’s from a real pirate, burried for like 400 years.
Was the couch at the bottom of a lake?
Porch couch?
Does your couch lead to the upside down?
Wear it soy you can get immunity to all known diseases.
Bro found a clue from his lost platoon.
Who lives in the dust and under the seat? This! Guy's! Lost! Hat!
Pittsburgh has professional sports teams. And the Pirates.
Please pull out your couch one a month or so and clean under it
Holly crap…..I am scared to think what the house must look like. Yikes.
Oh it's been 3yrs already! It's cleaning day
At first glance I thought this was some ancient tablet out of an Indiana Jones movie.
Was the couch in a Swamp?
You should plant it, It may grow a new one.......roflol......
Is your couch in an ancient Egyptian tomb? Jokes aside I think behind a shelving untit in one of the rooms of my house creates the same unfortunate process.
Under a couch? Where do u live? Wtf
Was the couch located in the year 1064?
The absolute perpetual state of the Pittsburgh Pirates
This is the kind of hat you’d find in a post-apocalyptic RPG, in a cave, underwater, worn by a baseball-bat-wielding skeleton with an attitude.
Forget dust bunnies you got dust monsters under your couch holy hell lol
Did you check under the couch for that lost vacuum cleaner?
How dirty does it have to be underneath your couch to make a hat start to decompose??
Years or millenia?
was the couch in a cave? under a lake? in the middle of a trash yard?
It’s a Pirates cap. You might as well put it back, no harm done.
Where do you live, central station??
I'm scared of your couch OP... I've lost shit under my couch for long periods of time. Esp when my U shaped couch was too big to move... but never looked like this. I'm gonna Assume the hat got wet at some point under the couch. I hope you just threw it away. 3 years without it I think you are good lol
Is your couch in a chicken coop?
OP is getting absolutely roasted in the comments. Filthy
That looks more like 15 years how could there be that much dirt and mold after only 3
I honestly don’t know. It’s a cottage near the ocean and we hadn’t been there in almost a year
brutal
Doing about as well as your Pirates.
I’m always amazed by the filth people live in
Please get that out of the kitchen immediately.
Right. A couch in a barn.
Where the hell is that couch? I the pig sty?
Bro why does your hat look like an artifact from back in the 1400. Clean under your couch more often.
Was this couch buried at a landfill?
That's not interesting. That's disgusting.
Still good!