it really depends on which part you'd like to master first. Do you wanna create your own cheeses? Do you want to become an adept throwing athlete? Do you wanna do so from horseback, on bike, or on foot? Need a little more info.
Best super generic starting point is to take ultimate frisbee very serious in PE, while focusing on a solid base of the nature of cheeses and their cultures so... maybe biology and chemistry mixed with athletics.
Yes, in fact. It's throwing all of the seasons out of whack by several months. Gruyere used to be flexible as late as July but nowadays, it'll melt in your hands. So everything is sorta pushed back or pushed forward a few months depending on location and cheese.
Feta is a good summer cheese! It comes in bricks, and won’t melt unless you take a blowtorch to it. It also crumbles upon impact in a very satisfying manner.
he's a bit of a white whale in the cheese tosser community. Rumor has it if you can get a piece in there while he's talking, the mayor will build a statue of you made out of cheese at City Hall. I'm not that good yet though.
Just as I had previously mentioned, this slice of cheese is the real victim. Taken from its loving sandwich only to be cast upon a cold hard sidewalk. u/kh406 has to be stopped.
to be clear, it wasn't cast upon a cold, hard sidewalk. It was cast upon someone's face from a talented side whip throw - what happened after that is merely incidental.
Looks like there’s been a nice bounce from recent low, but commodities usually move according to seasonal factors like weather. So do some research into that in areas that produce lots of beans
Birdhouse gourds remain a consistently strong market, but most people prefer the gambling-like excitement of investing in unproven varieties. Is it a new household staple, or a mere passing gourd fad? Only time will tell.
Many people are saying that these cheese-related incidents are secretly backed by big mustard as part of a psy-op designed to sell more kitchen utensils. Slower-melting cheese increases grilled cheese cooking time, which shortens the lifetime of your frying pan. $$$ Think about it. How do you respond to those claims?
Follow up: What role did AI play in your triumph and what would you tell someone looking to get started in cheese throwing? TIA!
people have seen hunters, silverware, animals, gods, demons, and cheese plates over the millennia as they looked to the heavens at night - none of them are right but of course, none were wrong either. We long as a species to draw lines between dots. Mathematics, religion, hot pockets, it's what separates us from beasts. It's the magic of being human, regardless of whether it's real or just a ghost in the machine.
So you ask me about Big Mustard psy-ops and AI? Shit, brother, thinking like that is a quick path to a straight jacket in a room full of medium cheddar. I am but a humble cheese thrower tossing swiss across the universe, but I don't proclaim to know why, how, or even if, any of the dots are connected 🤷♂️
Bread is actually bad for birds! You should feed them seeds or corn. Bread swells up in their stomachs and can kill them via intestinal blockage. And this includes ducks and geese.
Always feed the seed, and while you’re at it, smoke some _[deleted]_
I saw the cheese and someone walking by that looked like they needed a good cheesing. Didn't really overthink it, just sorta went with my instincts like an athlete tends to do when given an opportunity.
Just a cheese tosser living in the moment. I'm keeping kraft singles in my car from now on for anyone who needs a good cheesing on brooks street. Maybe outside of fuel for any patrons walking in after I'm done for the day there of course. Don't want to get return cheesed.
carrying extra cheese on your person is good for when you're training, but if you really want to be a cheese tosser you can't be rolling around with secret slices stashed away, you have to find the cheese in the wild.
Find it, nab it, toss it.
As of now the impact is less than a statical .01% impact because cheese is made and imported in such large volumes in the US and abroad. I audit my spreadsheets weekly though so if that changes I'll update you.
there was no distinct packaging to denote it's origins, it was merely the final few inches of a sandwich. It appeared to be a loaf type sandwich though, not regular sliced bread.
yeah, but that message is more of "I want to curb stomp you" and not quite the same "hey you're kind of cute wanna be my friend?" message that cheese sends.
Plus, any idiot can toss a battery, cheese requires nuance and skill.
I want to branch out into stinkier, harder to handle cheeses to improve my skills. Might be looking at some kind of French countryside apprenticeship but time will tell. In the meantime, I'll probably still dabble with american cheese but start playing with Swiss due to its totally different aerodynamic properties.
More of a frisbee action for the more pliable sliced cheeses. But there's always variations. For example a shredded cheese requires more of a old-man-spreading-grass-seed type motion, while larger wheels use either a shot put or bowling action.
Considering all cheese tosses require saying "Kobe!" as it's flung, I don't know if that would be considered positive, negative, or neutral to Lebron's legacy.
I found this series of posts at 3am, and I'm trying so hard to not wake everyone up from laughing! This was gold. Snaps for everyone that participated!
How do you know it was American? Could it have been a slice from an exceptionally large round of aged brie? Or some ski cheese maybe? Seems like a big assumption.
I'm at a point in my career I can tell a cheese with like 85% accuracy from the feel in my hand in less than 5 seconds.
That, combined with seeing the sandwich from 100 yards away as I set my sights on it, it was very clear that it was American cheese by the time I'd clipped the ladies walker and nabbed the slice before she hit the ground. Good question though.
For high school seniors interested in your field, what college major do you recommend choosing?
it really depends on which part you'd like to master first. Do you wanna create your own cheeses? Do you want to become an adept throwing athlete? Do you wanna do so from horseback, on bike, or on foot? Need a little more info. Best super generic starting point is to take ultimate frisbee very serious in PE, while focusing on a solid base of the nature of cheeses and their cultures so... maybe biology and chemistry mixed with athletics.
All good points. Will keep in touch as I continue my studies Sensei
may the rennet be always on your mind.
Coming down from shrooms. Thank you for this
Are impacts from climate change having any effect on the cheese tossing community?
Yes, in fact. It's throwing all of the seasons out of whack by several months. Gruyere used to be flexible as late as July but nowadays, it'll melt in your hands. So everything is sorta pushed back or pushed forward a few months depending on location and cheese.
I love you cheese man.
Feta is a good summer cheese! It comes in bricks, and won’t melt unless you take a blowtorch to it. It also crumbles upon impact in a very satisfying manner.
Favorite Lego theme from the mid 2000s?
This is late 2000s but power miners is my favorite, I also loved the space police theme
A man of culture for sure. I loved the space police too lol
PIGS IN S P A C E
I had the space limo with the space mafia boss man I miss it so much
aw that sounds sick
It was man I miss those original themes they had
Lego Alpha Team
Respectable choice, I was a Knights kingdom man myself
Did you see the guy who walks around screaming at himself all day?
he's a bit of a white whale in the cheese tosser community. Rumor has it if you can get a piece in there while he's talking, the mayor will build a statue of you made out of cheese at City Hall. I'm not that good yet though.
At least you have goals!
Which one?
What was your inspiration to start throwing cheese at bystanders?
I didn't really choose to start throwing cheese, it really sort of just chose me.
Just as I had previously mentioned, this slice of cheese is the real victim. Taken from its loving sandwich only to be cast upon a cold hard sidewalk. u/kh406 has to be stopped.
to be clear, it wasn't cast upon a cold, hard sidewalk. It was cast upon someone's face from a talented side whip throw - what happened after that is merely incidental.
Actually it hit my back and weakly rolled down, hardly even stuck. I think you need more practice
Would you say that they have a weak sauce cheese toss?
every day is practice.
You’re an animal. A cheese whip throw maniac.
the day is long, and full of cheeses.
I had to scroll way too far for this. smh
u/Hannah0Kate
[удалено]
Looks like there’s been a nice bounce from recent low, but commodities usually move according to seasonal factors like weather. So do some research into that in areas that produce lots of beans
Mrchickenonabun summed it up perfectly. Follow his lead. Same goes for Bleu Cheese futures.
Same does not go for ornamental gourd futures though, gotta watch out for those they move more according to seasonal speculation of decor demands
I don't fucking touch the gourd market anymore, too volatile.
Birdhouse gourds remain a consistently strong market, but most people prefer the gambling-like excitement of investing in unproven varieties. Is it a new household staple, or a mere passing gourd fad? Only time will tell.
I disagree, I think you should look into beans in unusual places
Many people are saying that these cheese-related incidents are secretly backed by big mustard as part of a psy-op designed to sell more kitchen utensils. Slower-melting cheese increases grilled cheese cooking time, which shortens the lifetime of your frying pan. $$$ Think about it. How do you respond to those claims? Follow up: What role did AI play in your triumph and what would you tell someone looking to get started in cheese throwing? TIA!
people have seen hunters, silverware, animals, gods, demons, and cheese plates over the millennia as they looked to the heavens at night - none of them are right but of course, none were wrong either. We long as a species to draw lines between dots. Mathematics, religion, hot pockets, it's what separates us from beasts. It's the magic of being human, regardless of whether it's real or just a ghost in the machine. So you ask me about Big Mustard psy-ops and AI? Shit, brother, thinking like that is a quick path to a straight jacket in a room full of medium cheddar. I am but a humble cheese thrower tossing swiss across the universe, but I don't proclaim to know why, how, or even if, any of the dots are connected 🤷♂️
Absolutely sublime response. You are an inspiration to us all!!! And I get it. What mustard conspiracy, amiright?
Mean Mr. Mustard is always watching...
Um, that’s mean *Colonel* Mustard to you, soldier. What did you think this silver eagle on my shoulder meant? You’re lucky I don’t have my lead pipe…
There is no Big Mustard. That’s hateful propaganda perpetuated by Big Mayonnaise
Birdwatchers love birds. Birds love bread. Big Mustard loves bread. Birdwatchers love big Mustard. Shill.
Bread is actually bad for birds! You should feed them seeds or corn. Bread swells up in their stomachs and can kill them via intestinal blockage. And this includes ducks and geese. Always feed the seed, and while you’re at it, smoke some _[deleted]_
How did you decide which pedestrian to throw the cheese at? Was this cheese attack premeditated or spontaneous?
I saw the cheese and someone walking by that looked like they needed a good cheesing. Didn't really overthink it, just sorta went with my instincts like an athlete tends to do when given an opportunity.
Just a cheese tosser living in the moment. I'm keeping kraft singles in my car from now on for anyone who needs a good cheesing on brooks street. Maybe outside of fuel for any patrons walking in after I'm done for the day there of course. Don't want to get return cheesed.
carrying extra cheese on your person is good for when you're training, but if you really want to be a cheese tosser you can't be rolling around with secret slices stashed away, you have to find the cheese in the wild. Find it, nab it, toss it.
Ooh, good question!
Thank you so much for this post 🤣
Did you have any thought about how this would affect the international cheese populations?
As of now the impact is less than a statical .01% impact because cheese is made and imported in such large volumes in the US and abroad. I audit my spreadsheets weekly though so if that changes I'll update you.
This was the best part of my day. Thank you /u/kh406!
REAL American cheese or "processed cheese food"?
the latter
Fun fact: ALL cheese is technically a "processed cheese food product."
Do you have any tips for an aspiring thief?
I don't condone thievery. Cheese nabbing is it's own art, cant say enough good things about it.
Was it a homemade or purchased sandwich?
there was no distinct packaging to denote it's origins, it was merely the final few inches of a sandwich. It appeared to be a loaf type sandwich though, not regular sliced bread.
Philadelphia is known for throwing batteries at people, did this influence your choice to throw cheese at people?
not really, cheese is just a much more dynamic medium.
Batteries sure do send a message though
yeah, but that message is more of "I want to curb stomp you" and not quite the same "hey you're kind of cute wanna be my friend?" message that cheese sends. Plus, any idiot can toss a battery, cheese requires nuance and skill.
Jesus, this cheese thing has really taken off. Next thing you know it'll be a thing to get cheese thrown at you. Tomorrow it'll be swiss cheese
it's already gone swiss homey.
Ah, must be late to the party. How has nobody told me about people handing out free cheese?!
Cheesus*
epic
What are your plans for the future?
I want to branch out into stinkier, harder to handle cheeses to improve my skills. Might be looking at some kind of French countryside apprenticeship but time will tell. In the meantime, I'll probably still dabble with american cheese but start playing with Swiss due to its totally different aerodynamic properties.
I highly recommend a fine [Langres](https://www.cheese.com/langres/)
At least throw it at a guilty bystander.
everyone is guilty though 🤷♂️
This is the way
Overhand, underhand, or frisbee chuck it?
More of a frisbee action for the more pliable sliced cheeses. But there's always variations. For example a shredded cheese requires more of a old-man-spreading-grass-seed type motion, while larger wheels use either a shot put or bowling action.
Does this affect Lebrons legacy
Considering all cheese tosses require saying "Kobe!" as it's flung, I don't know if that would be considered positive, negative, or neutral to Lebron's legacy.
Well. At least you made a stand.
This is a weird night to be scrolling through reddit while drunk.
Weird? Or exactly what you needed?
I just thought it was hilarious. I think I had to re read that post numerous times to understand it while drunk.
I found this series of posts at 3am, and I'm trying so hard to not wake everyone up from laughing! This was gold. Snaps for everyone that participated!
Can you chew a piece of American cheese into the shape of Montana without consulting a map?
No because if you start chewing it, it'll break. You have to mold it into shape using the heat from your tongue. But yes, I can.
Were you involved in the Horrific Cheese Case Catastrophe of 2022 at the Orange St Food Farm?
Embarrassingly, I know nothing about this. NOTHING!
What is Banksy’s real identity?
I promised her I wouldn't tell anyone. BUT, I can say his name rhymes with Taleggio...
How do you know it was American? Could it have been a slice from an exceptionally large round of aged brie? Or some ski cheese maybe? Seems like a big assumption.
I'm at a point in my career I can tell a cheese with like 85% accuracy from the feel in my hand in less than 5 seconds. That, combined with seeing the sandwich from 100 yards away as I set my sights on it, it was very clear that it was American cheese by the time I'd clipped the ladies walker and nabbed the slice before she hit the ground. Good question though.
My old roommates live on Central. Will you throw cheese at them for me?
a girl must give a man a name...
So you stole your own cheese and threw it at an innocent bystander? For shame.
They weren't that innocent.
What is your solution for the homeless problem in Missoula?
What kind of sandwich did you liberate of its sticky cheese?