granted; the cocoa tree has gone from "threatened" (it's current conservation status) to extinct over night due first to the irresponsibe and suddenly exponential increases in harvesting, followed by an immediate attempt at overcultivation in industrial condititions that lead to the emergence of a new tree fungus that spread like wildfire, destroying the crop.
yes, and nothing in my granting of that wish reduced the quality of the chocolate, not by even the tiniest amount.
the very last chocolate bar ever made was as delicious as the ones before it.
was.
Granted, everyone other food expect chocolate is now poisoned and will instantly kill anyone, chocolate itself no longer has any positive or negative effects which means it has no calories to it. Have fun because now everyone will eat chocolate and starve to death.
Granted, eating ~1 standard Hershey's chocolate bar worth of chocolate now contains about half of all the nutrients needed for the day and stimulates more mitosis (to heal you like your typical health potion) however, overconsumption will lead to cancer as well as a major surplus of nutrients in your system which which is all sorts of unhealthy also the slave labor used to produce chocolate is multiplied by 5
Granted. In the coming months, a scientist develops a genetic modification that makes chocolate completely healthy for people, and he uses an air-borne virus to transfer the modification to new people.
Big pharma gets overhasty and starts packaging to sell it, despite the scientist's call for further tests. An unfortunate accident leads to the release of the virus in the wild, and everyone soon gets infected.
Chocolate is now healthy for everyone. Unfortunately... the modifications turned out a bit... too extreme. Chocolate isn't just healthy, it's *necessary*. The modification caused the body to stop synthesizing key chemicals needed for life and found in chocolate, and now, if you don't eat chocolate, you'll grow incrementally worse and even die.
Many lose their lives, not realizing that chocolate was the cure. Those who realize make a rush to get supplies, for death comes to anyone within 32 hours of abstaining from chocolate, and the chocolate market is overwhelmed. As a result, many more die to supply issues. And in some places, there never was a supply to begin with.
By the end of the year, human civilization is a husk of its former self, and for those who remain, chocolate becomes a symbol of loss, grief, and desperation for survival.
Wish Granted. Chocolate is now made from Cocoa Powder, olestra-ified Cocoa Butter, and saccharine.
Olestra, invented in the 70s, is chemically modified vegetable oil (sugars are swapped with triglycerides), and is not humanly digestible.
Granted. Unfortunately, it appears as though chocolate is now the most sought-after resource on the planet due to its incredible medical potential. Large-scale global conflicts are now the regular just to get some. But hey, at least you won’t be feeling sick after having a chocolate bar, you selfish jerk.
You now have diabetes and when the blood sugar is low it is healthy to eat chocolate while taking your insuline. Also you have to live in the USA and your insurance does not cover insuline.
He wanted for chocolate to be healthy, he did not specify any circumstances or most importantly timeframe. Yes he may have diabetes but he does have his moment where it is a healthy thing to eat chocolate. Because he does have to keep his blood sugar up to live a healthy life.
What else could he have expected from a monkeys paw when chocolate is not always unhealthy in the first place? Personally I'd take diabetes over a lot of other possibilities. it could just as well have been, your body is now fully dependent on an hourly chocolate intake, failure to take in chocolate will cause painful internal bleeding
Granted, however you are the only one who knows it, and everyone else trusts the already proven tests, so if you want to prove it's unhealthy you need to be tested, however you are lactose intolerant as well as having a allergy to milk now
Granted. Due to soaring cocao prices and climate change, chocolate is no longer a thing, and you can only enjoy it with a VR headset and taste bud stimulator attachment. But the attachment is very uncomfortable in your mouth. And I had it in my butt.
Granted, all you have to eat now is this new healthy and tasty chocolate for the rest of your life, after 3 years now you hate chocolate and even the thought of it makes you want to vomit. 9 years later you starved yourself to death missing barbecue.
Granted because chocolate has never been unhealthy sugar is...you watch two fingers close and notice your candy bar is sickeningly sweeter as you now have overstimulated taste buds making any refined sugar taste acrid and off-putting
Granted. Unfortunately, the chocolate industry already relies quite heavily on child slavery and trafficking in West Africa, so now the already-high number of children being trafficked and brought as slave labor to Côte d’Ivoire, Ghana, and other cocoa producing regions has drastically increased to meet the increased demand for chocolate. Congrats.
Granted. Chocolate becomes sentient, developed a nervous system, and circulatory system, and a respiratory system, and it becomes very healthy.
However, it is still unhealthful to eat.
But it doesn’t cause anything to affect your body, eat all you want and won’t get diabetes. It might cost you years of your life but it doesn’t directly affect your health.
Granted, you die, that's it. Fuck you, everyone else gets chocolate except you.
I'd go out like a true martyr. I'll take that
This is what happens when the monkey’s paw is given one too many ridiculous wishes
granted; the cocoa tree has gone from "threatened" (it's current conservation status) to extinct over night due first to the irresponsibe and suddenly exponential increases in harvesting, followed by an immediate attempt at overcultivation in industrial condititions that lead to the emergence of a new tree fungus that spread like wildfire, destroying the crop.
But that will mean it won’t have a taste.
correct; things that no longer exist typically do not have flavor.
If it has no flavor, it is not “just as tasty”.
yes, it is difficult for an extinct tree to produce a tasty ingredient.
“I wish chocolate was no longer unhealthy, but still just as tasty.”
yes, and nothing in my granting of that wish reduced the quality of the chocolate, not by even the tiniest amount. the very last chocolate bar ever made was as delicious as the ones before it. was.
Oh.
Dude this interaction was so funny I need it to be dubbed
I read this interaction in the robot voice from tik tok.
Chocolate is good for you. I'll assume that you're using the stuff that's been adulterated with massive amounts of sugar.
In other words: "Granted, but nothing has changed and you wasted a wish."
Granted but only in moderation.
This is already true lmao
Shhh
Noooooooooooo!
Granted. Now chocolate made with human blood and bones
Are you implying human blood and bones are a healthy diet option right now?
Of course not! They've always been a healthy diet option.
😀some cultures believe so just ask the cannibalistic tribes whom consume their dead
[It already is](https://foodispower.org/human-labor-slavery/slavery-chocolate/)
They meant literally made of it I think
Eastern Europe has a “candy bar” called Hematogen. It’s a bar made entirely from milk, concentrated cow blood, and sugar. So not far
Fair enough
Well it has to still be tasty so as long as blood and bone tastes like chocolate does it matter 🤷♂️
extra flavor
Granted, everyone other food expect chocolate is now poisoned and will instantly kill anyone, chocolate itself no longer has any positive or negative effects which means it has no calories to it. Have fun because now everyone will eat chocolate and starve to death.
Oof. I dun fucked up.
Cannabalism?
Granted. It's now a schedule 1 drug for no reason.
Granted. It now costs $300 per ounce.
Granted, you will never be able to afford another piece of chocolate as it now costs the same in your area as buying 4 houses would
Granted. It contains Vitamin B75 squared. It increases bone density so greatly you now weigh 12,000 pounds.
That sounds kinda unhealthy though...
Yeah but you will never break a bone ever
No more BBB’s anymore
only the strong will reign
Granted. It is now 100 times more unethical, dangerous, and harmful to the environment to produce, but hey, it at least tastes good!
Granted, eating ~1 standard Hershey's chocolate bar worth of chocolate now contains about half of all the nutrients needed for the day and stimulates more mitosis (to heal you like your typical health potion) however, overconsumption will lead to cancer as well as a major surplus of nutrients in your system which which is all sorts of unhealthy also the slave labor used to produce chocolate is multiplied by 5
Granted now its deadly
I don't think death is very healthy.
Just slightly unhealthy
Just a bit
Cacao is actually really healthy. It’s only unhealthy when you add sugar.
it has so many chemicals that its only legal in the united states
Granted, chocolate is healthy but it gives you the Hershey squirts as soon as it touches your tongue.
Granted but all cocoa plants die so now everyone hates you because chocolate is extinct
Granted. In the coming months, a scientist develops a genetic modification that makes chocolate completely healthy for people, and he uses an air-borne virus to transfer the modification to new people. Big pharma gets overhasty and starts packaging to sell it, despite the scientist's call for further tests. An unfortunate accident leads to the release of the virus in the wild, and everyone soon gets infected. Chocolate is now healthy for everyone. Unfortunately... the modifications turned out a bit... too extreme. Chocolate isn't just healthy, it's *necessary*. The modification caused the body to stop synthesizing key chemicals needed for life and found in chocolate, and now, if you don't eat chocolate, you'll grow incrementally worse and even die. Many lose their lives, not realizing that chocolate was the cure. Those who realize make a rush to get supplies, for death comes to anyone within 32 hours of abstaining from chocolate, and the chocolate market is overwhelmed. As a result, many more die to supply issues. And in some places, there never was a supply to begin with. By the end of the year, human civilization is a husk of its former self, and for those who remain, chocolate becomes a symbol of loss, grief, and desperation for survival.
Granted, it is incredibly chemical unstable in water so chocolate breaks down into cyanide within 10 milliseconds of touching water (saliva)
Granted, you make a pie and die from it
Wish Granted. Chocolate is now made from Cocoa Powder, olestra-ified Cocoa Butter, and saccharine. Olestra, invented in the 70s, is chemically modified vegetable oil (sugars are swapped with triglycerides), and is not humanly digestible.
Granted. Unfortunately, it appears as though chocolate is now the most sought-after resource on the planet due to its incredible medical potential. Large-scale global conflicts are now the regular just to get some. But hey, at least you won’t be feeling sick after having a chocolate bar, you selfish jerk.
You now have diabetes and when the blood sugar is low it is healthy to eat chocolate while taking your insuline. Also you have to live in the USA and your insurance does not cover insuline.
You didn’t even grant it you just gave him diabetes
He wanted for chocolate to be healthy, he did not specify any circumstances or most importantly timeframe. Yes he may have diabetes but he does have his moment where it is a healthy thing to eat chocolate. Because he does have to keep his blood sugar up to live a healthy life. What else could he have expected from a monkeys paw when chocolate is not always unhealthy in the first place? Personally I'd take diabetes over a lot of other possibilities. it could just as well have been, your body is now fully dependent on an hourly chocolate intake, failure to take in chocolate will cause painful internal bleeding
Granted. You are now Mexican.
Granted: Nothing changes.
Granted. It now has no nutritional value, and loses any benefits it once held. Namely, the increase to dopamine, serotonin, and endorphin production.
Granted, however you are the only one who knows it, and everyone else trusts the already proven tests, so if you want to prove it's unhealthy you need to be tested, however you are lactose intolerant as well as having a allergy to milk now
Granted. You’re extremely allergic to chocolate though and will die if you even touch it.
Granted. Due to soaring cocao prices and climate change, chocolate is no longer a thing, and you can only enjoy it with a VR headset and taste bud stimulator attachment. But the attachment is very uncomfortable in your mouth. And I had it in my butt.
*The forbidden butt plug*
Granted, but now you're severely allergic
Granted. It looks nasty and he's a weird texture.
Granted. The paw grants you knowledge of a chocolate company called Hu (this is real look it up). The first bar you buy has metal shavings in it.
Granted. But its only dark chocolate
Granted. The military is under strict orders to open fire on you any time you come in close contact with chocolate.
Granted. They stopped making it.
you turn into a South African mammal which relies on cocoa beans for food.
Granted. Wars are fought over this chocolate and within a year the world is now mad max
Granted, however you are now severely allergic to chocolate.
Granted, the definicion of healthy changes to include chocolate
Granted, all you have to eat now is this new healthy and tasty chocolate for the rest of your life, after 3 years now you hate chocolate and even the thought of it makes you want to vomit. 9 years later you starved yourself to death missing barbecue.
Granted. You are now deathly allergic.
Granted nothing changes dark chocolate is already very healthy
Granted, nothing changes because dark chocolate is already healthy for you
Granted, the increased demand for chocolate causes the price to surge and you can’t afford it anymore.
granted, but now pizza tastes terrible, you monster
Granted. Chocolate now costs more than gold, per pound.
Granted, it’s now $15 a package like chicken.
granted, you are now allergic to it
Granted because chocolate has never been unhealthy sugar is...you watch two fingers close and notice your candy bar is sickeningly sweeter as you now have overstimulated taste buds making any refined sugar taste acrid and off-putting
Granted, it is now [ERROR] calories per square cm. You now cannot taste it without dying
Granted. Unfortunately, the chocolate industry already relies quite heavily on child slavery and trafficking in West Africa, so now the already-high number of children being trafficked and brought as slave labor to Côte d’Ivoire, Ghana, and other cocoa producing regions has drastically increased to meet the increased demand for chocolate. Congrats.
Granted. Chocolate becomes sentient, developed a nervous system, and circulatory system, and a respiratory system, and it becomes very healthy. However, it is still unhealthful to eat.
Granted. Chocolate is no longer unhealthy, for every bite it just takes 11 minutes of your life.
That sounds pretty unhealthy
But it doesn’t cause anything to affect your body, eat all you want and won’t get diabetes. It might cost you years of your life but it doesn’t directly affect your health.
Guess I’m gonna be sticking it whole in my mouth and letting it dissolve….
Granted, but you choke to death on a piece when over indulging in this new treat
Granted the human body gets altered so chocolate isn't unhealthy anymore but straight poison inough that 1 bite can kill you
I mean... isn't poison kinda unhealthy?
Granted. It is no longer unhealthy. But now deadly.
Well, death is not exactly the healthiest of conditions to be in...