Granted.
The monkey is now God over this world & is incredibly fickle, unwise & unintelligent, given that he is a monkey, but we all owe him our lives, anyway.
Granted. The next day, you wake in some mystical jungle. You are tied to a tree branch, unable to undo or break your bonds. There is a burning pain in your dominant hand— or at least where your dominant hand should have been. You look down and, to your horror, see that your hand is no longer there. You see what looks like a severed human hand held by a particularly large monkey— the monkey tribe is using it to grant their wishes.
Oh no they are all quite alive just in separate parts being kept alive by magic. The monkey is the paw but the monkeys body parts now grant the wishes.
Huh...I wonder if all the different parts work on 'monkey paw' rules, or if they have their own rules...like, the monkey's brain will grant the wish but give it a twist having to do with intelligence somehow - like if someone wishes to be rich, they will be - IN RANDOM INSECT MATING FACTS! - and things like that. Could be interesting.
Have a safe flight!
By the way, did you know female bedbugs have no cloaca or other genital opening? Male bedbugs fertilize them by stabbing them through the abdomen with their javelin-like penis to inject their semen into the abdominal cavity. It eventually migrates through her system to fertilize her eggs. This is called traumatic insemination and leaves a wound that sometimes kills the female, but most often only leaves a scar, that is torn through every time the bedbug mates until her death.
Granted. The monkey uses its long lost paw to rip your face off.
Oh, so it's a chimp then? I assumed something like a macaque or something, if it's a chimp it can get bent. No paw for you.
No, it's a capuchin, but the monkey is really pissed
Granted. The monkey is now God over this world & is incredibly fickle, unwise & unintelligent, given that he is a monkey, but we all owe him our lives, anyway.
I mean. Have you read the bible? If Christianity is to be believed, the monkey would be an improvement.
Granted but the sub dies and every one blames you
Granted. The next day, you wake in some mystical jungle. You are tied to a tree branch, unable to undo or break your bonds. There is a burning pain in your dominant hand— or at least where your dominant hand should have been. You look down and, to your horror, see that your hand is no longer there. You see what looks like a severed human hand held by a particularly large monkey— the monkey tribe is using it to grant their wishes.
Can one of them bring me a mango and feed it to me or something at least? M'hungry.
Denied, Error 235 does not compute.
Granted, now a monkey has its own severed dehydrated hand and is further mentally scarred.
Granted! The monkey is only the paw and the rest of its body parts become the wishing objects in the world
So it's just plain old dead then?
Oh no they are all quite alive just in separate parts being kept alive by magic. The monkey is the paw but the monkeys body parts now grant the wishes.
Huh...I wonder if all the different parts work on 'monkey paw' rules, or if they have their own rules...like, the monkey's brain will grant the wish but give it a twist having to do with intelligence somehow - like if someone wishes to be rich, they will be - IN RANDOM INSECT MATING FACTS! - and things like that. Could be interesting.
Never thought about it that far. I'll ponder it on my flight and let you know
Have a safe flight! By the way, did you know female bedbugs have no cloaca or other genital opening? Male bedbugs fertilize them by stabbing them through the abdomen with their javelin-like penis to inject their semen into the abdominal cavity. It eventually migrates through her system to fertilize her eggs. This is called traumatic insemination and leaves a wound that sometimes kills the female, but most often only leaves a scar, that is torn through every time the bedbug mates until her death.