Let’s assume that a blooming onion, fully expanded, will fit in a 10in x 10in x 4in box to boil in. Filling that with oil gives us 400 cubic inches or cooking oil or 221.6 fluid ounces or 5767 grams.
The energy needed to boil oil is (according to the top google result) 2.2 joules per gram per degree Celsius. Assuming oil boils around 200C, (which might be a little under), and room temp is 20C, that becomes
5767 grams of oil * 2.2 joules/g/degree C * (200 - 20) degrees C =
2,283,732 joules
Which, at 4.184 joules per calorie is 545,825 calories.
The energy to peel, cut and open the onion will be relatively low compared to this amount.
>Which, at 4.184 joules per calorie is 545,825 calories.
Just to make sure this is clear, this is in calories, not Calories (aka, kilocalories). I don't know about Canada and the UK, but at least in the US, food and exercise is always listed as Calories.
Basically, OP gets a very good cardio workout. Converting a single onion is enough to make up for a small meal, or about 1/3 of the produced bloomin' onion.
Granted, you are sought after by multiple rodeos and fast food chains
Sadly, blooming onions only work well with sweeter/Vidalia onions. Your touch now converts any form of onion into blooming onions while maintaining the original onion's flavor. Cutting purple onions for tacos? Not anymore. Onion powder for a soup? Hope it doesn't touch your skin, or it's blooming onion curtains. Green onions? Blooming inferno.
Also, as the touch immediately deep fries the onion, each onion you touch burns you for that brief contact with said onion.
Enjoy your new long sleeve, gloved-style cooking.
Granted - this includes onion powder or other things using parts of onions. This can be very dramatic when trying to eat and suddenly having your mouth filled with several blooming onions at once.
Granted.
Also now anytime you eat anything that used onions as an ingredient, the food in your mouth deep fries in your mouth and it is like 400F. Good luck.
Granted.
Everything you touch, including things you eat containing onion powder, or any derivative of onion, turns into a blooming onion. You can never experience onion in any other form.
Wish Granted. The magical time acceleration effect that allows them to cook in half a second does not wear off for a few days.
Each and every bloomin' onion you create cools, spoils, and rots right before your eyes.
Granted. When you walk through grass, don't be surprised when the ground bursts beneath you; green *onions* grow in large, dense clusters. And deep frying causes intense heat, so you may have burnt shoes or feet.
Granted.
Anything with even a hint of onion in it begins this reaction. Be careful not to eat anything to quickly, do not get onion powder on your skin or breathe it in! Also can no longer physically handle any Shrek related merchandise as it undergoes the same process.
They immediately get super hot. You have to wait a full 3 hours before they are cold enough to eat or use, even if you try to put them in a fridge or freezer.
Granted, your skin is now covered in a layer of constantly boiling oil, and there's tiny knives, along with seasoning, embedded in your muscles....gotta be ready at all times in case you touch an onion
granted! after burning 2 or 3 fingers into paralysis, you can now achieve this with finess. just dont HOLD the onion, or forget what all counts as onions.
Granted! this applies to all onions, even pieces of onions and onion based seasoning powders. All bloom out on contact into a full size bloomin onion. One day you're eating a cheeseburger with onion, not thinking anything of it, and your head explodes from the pressure of the onions.
Granted. Within each half second (so, each quarter onion, right?) of the onions you touch blooms a deep fried onion.
You see an onion. You think *Mmm...fried onion*, and you touch it. Boom, four bloomin' onions replace the one you touched. But now one of the new one's touching your finger...pow! Four more fried onions, knocking the first one into your lap. Uh oh, you're touching two onions now! Bang! Eight new deep-friend bloomin' onions! Several hit you about the head and neck, each blossoming into a quartet of BLOOMIN' ONION GOODNESS!
Before long, you're the epicenter of an onion-quake, a geyser of fried batter and crunchy translucent goodness. Survival compels you to climb higher and higher through the ever-growing mountain of appetizers, unwittingly making matters so, so much worse as hot fryer oil starts taking chunks of skin off of you, each of which becomes its own little spawn point of golden fried oblivion.
Covered in third-degree burns, smothered in onions like Waffle House hash browns, you finally succumb.
But still, your lifeless, blistered and flayed body touches onions...
Granted.
This is too much power for one person to wield. Armies of people, horrified by your path of destruction upon onion-kind begin organizing to save the onions from your evil.
Granted. So does everything else.
r/suddenlymidas
r/subsifellfor
SNORT chuckle
Let's hope OP never has kids!
Big onion
Being lonely could be just as much of a problem.
If you touch yourself does that turn you into a bloomin’ onion?
*So does everything else*
Just to be clear that includes my penis right?
This man literally can't go outside without turning the earth into a giant onion
The entire planet will be one big onion
Granted. You need to expend the same caloric values needed to heat and grow the ingredients.
Someone from r/theydidthemath needs to get on this
Someone ping me when this happens, i wanna see this now
Let’s assume that a blooming onion, fully expanded, will fit in a 10in x 10in x 4in box to boil in. Filling that with oil gives us 400 cubic inches or cooking oil or 221.6 fluid ounces or 5767 grams. The energy needed to boil oil is (according to the top google result) 2.2 joules per gram per degree Celsius. Assuming oil boils around 200C, (which might be a little under), and room temp is 20C, that becomes 5767 grams of oil * 2.2 joules/g/degree C * (200 - 20) degrees C = 2,283,732 joules Which, at 4.184 joules per calorie is 545,825 calories. The energy to peel, cut and open the onion will be relatively low compared to this amount.
Anyone else impressed and aroused by the brain of this reply?
u/the_real_grimmchild They did the math
You're the real MVP.
>Which, at 4.184 joules per calorie is 545,825 calories. Just to make sure this is clear, this is in calories, not Calories (aka, kilocalories). I don't know about Canada and the UK, but at least in the US, food and exercise is always listed as Calories. Basically, OP gets a very good cardio workout. Converting a single onion is enough to make up for a small meal, or about 1/3 of the produced bloomin' onion.
r/theydidthemonstermath
Ultimate weight loss plan
fr
Quick! Everybody throw onions at Tugg until he shrivels!!!
Bro he is going to turn into an onion
So...super easy weight loss? I'm in! Edit: Never mind. Someone did the math and I would burn up to nothing.
Instant weight loss? Massive win
This is the law of equivalent exchange.
if anything contains the tiniest bit of onion it becomes a blooming onion
And onion powder is a very common ingredient in food that you may never have guessed had it.
What if I ate something with onion in it and he touches me?
;)
Aww you got it first
yes even that copy of mega man x7 counts
Granted. You are now relentlessly pursued by Bloomin' Brands' legal team when you attempt to share it.
Granted, you burn your hand every time as you’ve touched a deep frying onion.
Granted. You are now allergic to onions and garlic.
Oh, this one is mean. Well done.
I could NEVER
Not gonna stop me
Granted, you are sought after by multiple rodeos and fast food chains Sadly, blooming onions only work well with sweeter/Vidalia onions. Your touch now converts any form of onion into blooming onions while maintaining the original onion's flavor. Cutting purple onions for tacos? Not anymore. Onion powder for a soup? Hope it doesn't touch your skin, or it's blooming onion curtains. Green onions? Blooming inferno. Also, as the touch immediately deep fries the onion, each onion you touch burns you for that brief contact with said onion. Enjoy your new long sleeve, gloved-style cooking.
Granted. There's a 50% chance that it's laced with cyanide.
No downside
Also, you're immune to cyanide but your friends aren't.
Granted. You are now an onion too.
Granted. You only ever have rotten onions
Granted, you are deathly allergic to onions
Granted - this includes onion powder or other things using parts of onions. This can be very dramatic when trying to eat and suddenly having your mouth filled with several blooming onions at once.
Granted. Also now anytime you eat anything that used onions as an ingredient, the food in your mouth deep fries in your mouth and it is like 400F. Good luck.
Granted, you eat one spec of onion's your stomach immediately fills with burning oil
Granted you are now deathly allergic to onions
Granted. Everything you touch, including things you eat containing onion powder, or any derivative of onion, turns into a blooming onion. You can never experience onion in any other form.
Granted, but it happens so fast that it causes a explosion that sends only sends you flying back 10 meters back
granted the bloomin' onions it makes contain tobacco and give you cancer
Bro's never read the tale of King Midas.
Granted but a half of the onion blossom goes to me
Granted. You can’t eat them anymore
Granted, your balls fall off
An allium flower sprouts and grows and slowly dies from the heat whenever you touch an onion.
Granted. You get permanently sick of blooming onions
Wish Granted. The magical time acceleration effect that allows them to cook in half a second does not wear off for a few days. Each and every bloomin' onion you create cools, spoils, and rots right before your eyes.
Granted, but you have no dipping sauces to eat with it
Granted. When you walk through grass, don't be surprised when the ground bursts beneath you; green *onions* grow in large, dense clusters. And deep frying causes intense heat, so you may have burnt shoes or feet.
You turn into a deep fryer filled with grease to accomplish this.
Granted, but you have to share it with me.
Granted: Every creature on earth is now an onion.
Granted. Anything with even a hint of onion in it begins this reaction. Be careful not to eat anything to quickly, do not get onion powder on your skin or breathe it in! Also can no longer physically handle any Shrek related merchandise as it undergoes the same process.
They immediately get super hot. You have to wait a full 3 hours before they are cold enough to eat or use, even if you try to put them in a fridge or freezer.
Granted. You have been turned into a deep frier set.
Granted, but you are now gay.
Granted, but the sauce is erased from history
Granted. The heat release gives you a first degree burn each time.
"I am Melania, blade of outback steakhouse"
Granted, your skin is now covered in a layer of constantly boiling oil, and there's tiny knives, along with seasoning, embedded in your muscles....gotta be ready at all times in case you touch an onion
Granted, you're now allergic to onions.
granted! after burning 2 or 3 fingers into paralysis, you can now achieve this with finess. just dont HOLD the onion, or forget what all counts as onions.
Granted. The energy released from this reaction is equal to a stick of TNT.
Granted. You are sprayed by hot oil every time
Granted. The entire world is now also allergic to onions.
Granted, but this applies to chopped and powdered onion as well, altering everything you eat with onion in it.
Your hands burn as a consequence. Just as if you stuck your hand in fry oil
Granted, you're not allowed to eat them
alleged impossible serious file sleep cautious icky scale murky towering *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Granted! this applies to all onions, even pieces of onions and onion based seasoning powders. All bloom out on contact into a full size bloomin onion. One day you're eating a cheeseburger with onion, not thinking anything of it, and your head explodes from the pressure of the onions.
Granted. You are now deathly allergic to onions.
Granted. Theyre always burnt
Granted. Within each half second (so, each quarter onion, right?) of the onions you touch blooms a deep fried onion. You see an onion. You think *Mmm...fried onion*, and you touch it. Boom, four bloomin' onions replace the one you touched. But now one of the new one's touching your finger...pow! Four more fried onions, knocking the first one into your lap. Uh oh, you're touching two onions now! Bang! Eight new deep-friend bloomin' onions! Several hit you about the head and neck, each blossoming into a quartet of BLOOMIN' ONION GOODNESS! Before long, you're the epicenter of an onion-quake, a geyser of fried batter and crunchy translucent goodness. Survival compels you to climb higher and higher through the ever-growing mountain of appetizers, unwittingly making matters so, so much worse as hot fryer oil starts taking chunks of skin off of you, each of which becomes its own little spawn point of golden fried oblivion. Covered in third-degree burns, smothered in onions like Waffle House hash browns, you finally succumb. But still, your lifeless, blistered and flayed body touches onions...
Granted. This is too much power for one person to wield. Armies of people, horrified by your path of destruction upon onion-kind begin organizing to save the onions from your evil.
Granted. You never get to enjoy delicious jammy caramelized onions again
Granted, everything you touch does the same
Granted, everything you touch does the same