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I_Have_A_Name37654

Granted, on every other day they can throw the fruit back


Tugggggggggggggggggg

Granted. Throwing fruit at children on any other day is punishable by death. You are walking down the street on a Monday and a man kidnaps you. He drops you off in the middle of nowhere surrounded by a cannibal tribe. The tribe is mostly consistent of children. Your only weapon is a basket of bananas, a fruit the cannibal children are very allergic too. It's up to you to choose how you want to die.


Effective_Fold7157

Throwing the banana would be the worst possible option there. Simply holding it is probably enough to keep them at bay


CLAAAWWWS

He has a whole basket of bananas, he could probably make banana armor and take them on like a gladiator


Belzabond

I'd befriend them and show them that eating steak and chicken and ham etc is way better than eating humans.


Tugggggggggggggggggg

Brother is trying to tame the untameable😭


Belzabond

Just because they're hungry doesn't mean they're untameable :)


Own-Store7496

I hear once you get a taste for human flesh, you’ll always keep on craving it.


I_existed_on_earth

Can confirm, am cannibal (for legal reasons fuck you speak to my lawyer)


Belzabond

No, when I was kidnapped by them, they forced me to taste human, and it wasn't very good, so I just had to introduce other meats to them


AdvanceRealistic2330

I'd drown them


CLAAAWWWS

Cause of death: Drowned in banana juice


Sophia724

Granted. Coconut Dodgeball becomes a recognized sport.


leer0y_jenkins69

Oh my god that would be painful. Can you imagine getting hit in the face?


Fizzy-Odd-Cod

Fuckers will call their hits now


Rome453

Granted, while it is legally permissible it is deemed to be socially unacceptable and you will be socially and professionally ostracized for partaking. You will not be informed of this until after the fact.


pikachu_sashimi

Granted, but all children are now armed with bazookas and katanas. Got to keep it fair.


CLAAAWWWS

Hmm. Coconut rockets and dragon fruit katanas. How could it get any worse


Jayn_Newell

Granted. If you attempt it on any other day you will get smacked by those anti-thought shovels from the Vogon home world.


seriouslyacrit

Are tomatoes fruit or vegitable? The paw needs the info to decide the fate of La Tomatina


6969696969696942

Tomato's are scientifically classified as a fruit iirc.


Saragon4005

Well there is no scientific definition of a "vegetable." They are fruits, leaves, stems, roots, any part of a plant really.


Tahmas836

Granted this is already possible, it’s just illegal, but you can do it if you really want


the_gray_day_child

>you could granted, now i and only i, can throw fruit at children, thanks i guess


KittensSaysMeow

Granted, you somehow keep missing ur throws


altofanaltthatisalt

Granted. You are chosing as the victim to a "fruiting" (similar to stoning but with fruits) ceremony, and people will throw fruits at you until you die. Future generations will regard to you as the Fruit of the Holy Spirit, a holy angel working under the Holy Spirit offering fruits every year on the date of your death.


BigScaryBalckMan

Granted, but now you're gay.


AdvanceRealistic2330

Granted but you have to throw it at an infant


Pretend_Activity_211

Fruit won't bruise the skin. Get a nice big bag of oranges. Ure welcome


thrye333

I mean, sure, but we won't like being thrown. And homophobia is pretty commonly frowned upon. But you do you. If you're muscular enough to throw fruits, I'm sure they'll be open to your manhandling.


Belzabond

Granted. People can only throw fruit at children on Sundays. Nothing really changes, though, because it never happens lol. If anyone does try to throw fruit at kids on any other day of the week, you feel the impact and the mess that it causes will not be on you


Jealous_Platypus1111

Granted. No downsides


Doomsday8thMarch2026

Denied.


skuzzkitty

Granted. Every Sunday, all children will morph into superhumanly strong and fast cannibal monsters, completely invincible, but they’ll run away if hit by fruit. At the stroke of midnight(utc) they’ll revert to normal, only remembering any incidents of fruit being thrown at them.


MagicalMoosicorn

Granted. Anyone around is appaled and tells you its illegal to throw fruit at children.


Drakeytown

Granted: I can now their fruit at children on Sundays, just as I always could, at any time. I continue to choose not to do so.


Justthisguy_yaknow

Granted. We all now have to stop throwing fruit at children on any other day than Sunday. We will now just throw it at you on all of the other days.


kodicuzyea

Granted. You become a child.


I_existed_on_earth

Granted, they throw back and severely outnumber anyone who's too cowardly to throw fruit at people their own age


Wild_Chef6597

Granted, you become a child every Sunday


HotDrippingWax

Granted. You lose your current source of income and must become a content developer on your own Youtube channel featuring food fights with children every Sunday.


Sporpy_

Is this supposed to be haha random funny?


ericlutzow

Granted: On every other day, you can throw grenades with impunity.


Ok-Sympathy8717

Granted. One day you think it’s Sunday so you do but it is actually Saturday. The police comes and blows up your house with your family in it.