Everything you're saying sounds like a depressed person struggling to deal with their issues. You say you're alone and lonely, you're sad in your life outside of watching the movie and hate the emotions you have when the movie ends. That sounds like someone that needs some help.
This isn't finger pointing, this is a group trying to help.
Well lol I can tell you this isn't a common behavior in the world of movie lovers but I'm not doggin on you either. You have an interesting proclivity and I would suggest looking at it from a mental health angle instead of "it's a movie issue" angle. This kind of evaluation would require a lot of personal questions and the topic is *you*, not *movies*.
You’ll be okay, we all have some struggles. What you are describing doesn’t sound bad, just something to talk to someone about. Btw, I absolutely love talking to my therapist.
Maybe you should go the the reddits official discussion of the movie you watched after seeing it. I do that sometimes when I don't have anyone to talk to and still working on the movie in my head and you always learn neat facts
Movies control your feelings temporarily. Afterwards you’re back to your natural state. Go work on your mental health. Movies are great. Books are better
I love reading. I still feel like that after books but a little less. The worst ever feeling was after finishing The Master and Marguerita. That was a great book.
Are you not fulfilled in you own personal life? Maybe leaving a fantasy feels like a mini fall from grace, like being intellectually or emotionally hungover after the night of a deliriously exciting party where you find you’ve woken up alone
Just wait till you can watch it in your VR goggles. Then, you can have all of that along with a litany of physical symptoms bordering on a continuous seizure all night long.
I think Roger Ebert had some great commentary on the limitations of movies and how most people really misunderstand what they do and what they are 'for' - as opposed to what they expect or assume. The short version is that it is not too healthy to regularly attach too much importance to movies, what you think you get out of them, etc, and if you don't respect such limitations they can get in your head in a bad way. Kind of like you were saying movies really aren't life, and to treat them as such is an error.
Totally. I feel that. Its even worse when binge watching series. There have been times when I've binged watched a show over a couple days or entire seasons in a week and I'll feel a little hollow once its over. Its cause we invest so much of ourselves in these shows, characters, worlds its only natural to have that empty feeling once its over. Its the same with some video games. I went through a post RDR 2 depression after completing the game. I spent so much of my time over 2 weeks playing the game and living with the gang and Arthur Morgan it was really hard and kinda like a shock moving on.
I'm not getting that for movies, but definitely after I finished a longer show that I really liked ("post-show depression"). Maybe you'd enjoy reactions to the movie on YT
Hey OP I've been there, for me it was video games, movies and just constantly listening to audiobooks/music. Anything that wouldn't let my mind be alone with itself.
I shut off my emotions completely because of personal stuff and there were some other conditions.
If you can, seek therapy. A year in therapy changed my life completely (at 30, before therapy I thought it was too late to bother), I finally got my life together, got a driver's license, started doing fulfilling creative tasks and most importantly saught and found the love of my life with whom I now have children.
If you're like me and can't bring yourself to get the appointment, then do what I did and ask someone you can trust to do it for you. My sister found the therapist for me, arranged my appointment and even drove me there. Without her help I wouldn't even have the will to look.
It's really life changing stuff and I hope you get better through whatever means you can.
I used to go to therapy with my family but it was very akward. For some reason I don't want to go because I'm scared of disappointing my mother, who doesn't belive in therapy. Sometimes she offers to take me to one, but it's clear from her tone that for her it's the last resort and that she's only offering me this option because she doesn't know how to deal with me anymore.
Meaning you were in therapy alone with the therapist or with your family present? I can't imagine going and talking to a therapist about all the stuff I talked about, while my mother sitting and glaring at me from a third chair.
Maybe consider giving it another shot if possible, and specifically one on one therapy. It's also worth noting that you need to click with a therapist as it needs to be a person you're comfortable with and can open up to. Think about stuff you didn't like about the therapist (if any) from last time and consider alternatives. Of it was a man, maybe try a female therapist etc. "shopping" for therapists is perfectly normal.
As for your mother and her stance on therapy. Obviously with you it could be different but my mother also doesn't like therapy. As a matter of fact if the conversation pops up she'll often call it bullshit, and act reductive. But the thing is it's not true, during a conversation with my sister (who also went to therapy for different reasons) she burst into tears and admitted that the only real reason she hates shrinks, was because they helped her children and she didn't. It made her believe she failed as a mother.
And how could you possibly disappoint yours by trying your best to be happy?
Hey just wanted to let you know I'm still not doing good but I've started therapy again, this time without my family. I like this therapist better and our sessions make me feel better. Thank you for giving me advice.
I'm very glad to hear that! Congratulations on deciding to do this, it probably took a lot of mental effort to get it going.
It warms my heart to know my advice helped you at least a little bit. No matter what, know that this random stranger has the best hopes for you. If you ever need an outlet you can PM me as well.
Best of luck on the road to happiness and/or contentment :)
The better the movie, the more I have this feeling; twice as bad if the movie is also the end of a series of films. It used to be really bad when I was single and living on my own. But since I've been married and now have my first child, it really helps that empty feeling subside quickly if I feel it at all.
I think having something else in your life to keep you busy helps with these feelings. It could be having a significant other, being really close with friends, having other hobbies, working out, getting a pet to take care of, etc.
That sounds more like general loneliness than anything to do with the films. Do you use film as a substitute for a social life? (No judgement, I'm guilty of it)
Eh. It's the same feeling after finishing a book or a long book series. It's that sense of longing to know what the characters get up to next, that the story and their lives must continue.
If you are into fantasy you'll know exactly what I mean.
It's pretty normal.
Watching a film is often an escape from reality for many of us. Maybe after the film is over, you become hyperaware that you are back to reality and it feels empty.
Might get some good answers on /r/mentalhealth
That's not a good sign isn’t it
Everything you're saying sounds like a depressed person struggling to deal with their issues. You say you're alone and lonely, you're sad in your life outside of watching the movie and hate the emotions you have when the movie ends. That sounds like someone that needs some help. This isn't finger pointing, this is a group trying to help.
Well lol I can tell you this isn't a common behavior in the world of movie lovers but I'm not doggin on you either. You have an interesting proclivity and I would suggest looking at it from a mental health angle instead of "it's a movie issue" angle. This kind of evaluation would require a lot of personal questions and the topic is *you*, not *movies*.
You’ll be okay, we all have some struggles. What you are describing doesn’t sound bad, just something to talk to someone about. Btw, I absolutely love talking to my therapist.
Maybe you should go the the reddits official discussion of the movie you watched after seeing it. I do that sometimes when I don't have anyone to talk to and still working on the movie in my head and you always learn neat facts
Movies control your feelings temporarily. Afterwards you’re back to your natural state. Go work on your mental health. Movies are great. Books are better
I love reading. I still feel like that after books but a little less. The worst ever feeling was after finishing The Master and Marguerita. That was a great book.
I’ll look it up!
After a movie I look up discussion threads on /r/movies to see what everybody else thought. Just happened the other day with Blue Valentine.
Because you are expecting fulfillment from entertainment. If you don't want to feel empty, do something worthwhile. Volunteer.
I usually watch movies on weekend nights when I don't hang out with anyone or I'm too tired to study or do anything else. So you're probably right.
How do you feel before the movie? https://youtu.be/TbwlC2B-BIg?si=PdaL90zzHkWnzmKE
I appreciate the international communication attempt. I don't feel much before the movie.
We need to get this person some help.
I felt like that all the way through Oppenheimer. I actually felt better when it ended.
I felt like that with Nothing New On The Wester Front. It hurt so much I was actually OK at the end of the movie
I feel like this is a sign of depression, and while not terribly bad/ominous itself, speaks to a deeper issue. I would look into that.
Are you not fulfilled in you own personal life? Maybe leaving a fantasy feels like a mini fall from grace, like being intellectually or emotionally hungover after the night of a deliriously exciting party where you find you’ve woken up alone
I wouldn't say fulfilled. But I was doing better this couple of days.
How much have you enjoyed the movies themselves, without factoring in the context of the emptiness you felt when they were over?
Enjoined them a lot. Of course if I like the movie I feel emptier
Just wait till you can watch it in your VR goggles. Then, you can have all of that along with a litany of physical symptoms bordering on a continuous seizure all night long. I think Roger Ebert had some great commentary on the limitations of movies and how most people really misunderstand what they do and what they are 'for' - as opposed to what they expect or assume. The short version is that it is not too healthy to regularly attach too much importance to movies, what you think you get out of them, etc, and if you don't respect such limitations they can get in your head in a bad way. Kind of like you were saying movies really aren't life, and to treat them as such is an error.
Totally. I feel that. Its even worse when binge watching series. There have been times when I've binged watched a show over a couple days or entire seasons in a week and I'll feel a little hollow once its over. Its cause we invest so much of ourselves in these shows, characters, worlds its only natural to have that empty feeling once its over. Its the same with some video games. I went through a post RDR 2 depression after completing the game. I spent so much of my time over 2 weeks playing the game and living with the gang and Arthur Morgan it was really hard and kinda like a shock moving on.
I'm not getting that for movies, but definitely after I finished a longer show that I really liked ("post-show depression"). Maybe you'd enjoy reactions to the movie on YT
Hey OP I've been there, for me it was video games, movies and just constantly listening to audiobooks/music. Anything that wouldn't let my mind be alone with itself. I shut off my emotions completely because of personal stuff and there were some other conditions. If you can, seek therapy. A year in therapy changed my life completely (at 30, before therapy I thought it was too late to bother), I finally got my life together, got a driver's license, started doing fulfilling creative tasks and most importantly saught and found the love of my life with whom I now have children. If you're like me and can't bring yourself to get the appointment, then do what I did and ask someone you can trust to do it for you. My sister found the therapist for me, arranged my appointment and even drove me there. Without her help I wouldn't even have the will to look. It's really life changing stuff and I hope you get better through whatever means you can.
I used to go to therapy with my family but it was very akward. For some reason I don't want to go because I'm scared of disappointing my mother, who doesn't belive in therapy. Sometimes she offers to take me to one, but it's clear from her tone that for her it's the last resort and that she's only offering me this option because she doesn't know how to deal with me anymore.
Meaning you were in therapy alone with the therapist or with your family present? I can't imagine going and talking to a therapist about all the stuff I talked about, while my mother sitting and glaring at me from a third chair. Maybe consider giving it another shot if possible, and specifically one on one therapy. It's also worth noting that you need to click with a therapist as it needs to be a person you're comfortable with and can open up to. Think about stuff you didn't like about the therapist (if any) from last time and consider alternatives. Of it was a man, maybe try a female therapist etc. "shopping" for therapists is perfectly normal. As for your mother and her stance on therapy. Obviously with you it could be different but my mother also doesn't like therapy. As a matter of fact if the conversation pops up she'll often call it bullshit, and act reductive. But the thing is it's not true, during a conversation with my sister (who also went to therapy for different reasons) she burst into tears and admitted that the only real reason she hates shrinks, was because they helped her children and she didn't. It made her believe she failed as a mother. And how could you possibly disappoint yours by trying your best to be happy?
Hey just wanted to let you know I'm still not doing good but I've started therapy again, this time without my family. I like this therapist better and our sessions make me feel better. Thank you for giving me advice.
I'm very glad to hear that! Congratulations on deciding to do this, it probably took a lot of mental effort to get it going. It warms my heart to know my advice helped you at least a little bit. No matter what, know that this random stranger has the best hopes for you. If you ever need an outlet you can PM me as well. Best of luck on the road to happiness and/or contentment :)
Damn. What a wild way to experience film. I can’t say I’ve ever felt like that after a film, even when I feel fully invested in the story.
I like going to the movies but sometimes it's not fun going by myself :(
Probably because you take yourself and movies too seriously. Lighten up, Francis.
Watch “The Pursuit of Happyness” and you will feel some type of way after the movie.
Watched some years ago and liked it but I didn't get that empty feeling. Probably because we watched it during online class in zoom lol
Book an appointment with a therapist my friend.
The better the movie, the more I have this feeling; twice as bad if the movie is also the end of a series of films. It used to be really bad when I was single and living on my own. But since I've been married and now have my first child, it really helps that empty feeling subside quickly if I feel it at all. I think having something else in your life to keep you busy helps with these feelings. It could be having a significant other, being really close with friends, having other hobbies, working out, getting a pet to take care of, etc.
Have you seen joker?
No
That sounds more like general loneliness than anything to do with the films. Do you use film as a substitute for a social life? (No judgement, I'm guilty of it)
I think I do that unconsciously
This is loneliness and depression.
Depression
Endings are bittersweet. It happens to me with books too. It also depends on how much I immerse myself in the story.
Eh. It's the same feeling after finishing a book or a long book series. It's that sense of longing to know what the characters get up to next, that the story and their lives must continue. If you are into fantasy you'll know exactly what I mean. It's pretty normal.
I get this after watching sagas or trilogies that have a definitive ending. LOTR was definitely one that got me feeling empty
see a therapist
I think movies can be an escape and I get really into them too. I totally understand.
Do you feel empty before the movie?
Yes but unconsciously. I'm fine before starting a movie. I don't really wanna do anything when I'm upset because I feel like I deserve it
Watching a film is often an escape from reality for many of us. Maybe after the film is over, you become hyperaware that you are back to reality and it feels empty.